Chapter 189: LOVE?
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Music Recommendation- Half A Man (Dean Lewis)
***************
Edwin ran as fast as he could. The trees of various heights passed by him. His shoes thumped on the ground only to say farewell to it, leaving the trail of dust behind.
His whole body was hot... not with need but with anger. His heart stammered against his chest, trying to come out tearing his flesh. His obsidian eyes flickered with the electric blue flames as if they were spitting fire in the hope to set the whole place on fire.
No one.... not even a small insect dared to came in his way as he ran through the woods, his chest tightening in pain.
He did not know how far he went or in which direction his legs took him. He was not ready to stop, did not want to stop. He was searching his gateway to a somewhere unknown, where he could hide for the eternity to come and never go back- to Vincardine, to his life, to the people around him and to the one who had bewitched every cell of his body... his very existence.
His burned up feet missed the stone in a way as his vision was clouded with emotions. His body glided on the rough and bumpy forest ground at the same speed as he was running not a moment ago.
His running came to end as he lay on the ground on his back. His chest rose and fell like the waves in an angry ocean. His hot breaths came like the violent eruption from a volcano.
His heart was as heavy as the weight of a planet.
Lester was right. He should not have given in to his emotions. They were his weakness. SHE was his weakness.
-"there is something about him that scares me."-
How easily she said those words. She did not think even once how sharp her words were. They had sliced the surface of his heart slowly, deliberately, enjoying the small trail of blood her words had left behind.
Edwin watched the partially hidden evening sky above him. And a thought crossed his mind.
Ruth.. she was just like that limitless sky, clear and mesmerizing. But untouched and unachievable. His shooting star, beautiful and attractive yet could not be caught.
He was that small bird who keeps taking a flight higher and higher in the sky in the hope to someday touch it, see what lies within it, behind those cottony clouds.
But its wings are not strong enough to take him above those clouds. It has to land again on the ground only to look up, and think 'I will get you, one day!'
Edwin did not feel any pain in his body after the unfortunate fall. Or maybe he did but was too numb to feel it. His heart was taking all the blows that the enchantress and his fate threw towards him.
-"My guts tell me that I should stay away from him. He... he is not what he portrays. He is something else... different... dark and... dangerous."-
Was Ruth wrong about him?
He did not need to rethink the answer because it was as clear as water.
NO!
She was not wrong about him.
He was not what he portrayed him to be. He was dark and dangerous. The extent? He himself did not know!
He had always thought on many points in life that it was his optimal darkness, and he could not be dangerous than that.
But every time he and his wolf proved him wrong. With each passing day, the darkness in him kept on growing. He did not mind it. In fact, he liked it.
He liked to be in control, to exert power. But he had not caught the sight of his shooting star then.
And now that he knew she was meant to be his, how could he let her go just like that? How could he stay away from her only because she was afraid of him?
?
Did he deserve her being afraid of him? Yes!
Did he deserve the tags of a womanizer and chauvinistic fool? Absolutely!
He had never given her a reason to think otherwise, and he was aware of that.
Then why did it hurt so much when she took his name as if it tasted bitter on her tongue? She could trust anyone in the world- even that greedy shop owner, her rude landlord, and so many but not him- her mate!
What could be more disheartening than that?
Edwin stayed in his position till the sky above him turned darker, indicating the arrival of the night. Hours passed, but he did not move. He did not feel like lifting his finger.
In an instant, everything he had done so far looked useless.
What was the importance of saving the world of the supernaturals, if he had to; if he could not make his own mate safe around him?
What was the good in guiding the werewolf race when he could not hold her hand in his?
Suddenly the loneliness tackled him with its ten hands, pinning him to the ground of self-doubt.
He wished to close his eyes, but all he could picture was Ruth's creased brows and the fear in her pretty hazel eyes. Her words ring in his ears.
After Edwin's encounter with Zoe, he could not get her words out of his head.
-"You deserve someone better Edwin. She is a good soul, I agree. But she is not capable of being your Luna and reign the werewolf world.
You need someone who can understand you, support you, empower you and love you the way you want. Forget about the mate bond, many of us have done that before. You will not be the first one."-
Edwin, frustrated, sat upon the ground, his body tensed. Spending his lifetime between the brave she-wolves and being a warrior, he had the sparse experience of encounters with humans.
The only human women he had met were under him in a bed.
The possibility of being destined to be with a human woman for the eternity had never crossed his mind- not even in his wildest dreams.
How much he wished he had been born as a human or at least a normal werewolf-like Rees.
He was also blessed with a human mate, but he was happy. He had never faced the dilemma Edwin was facing.
Then was Edwin wrong? Was he wrong in paying attention to Zoe's words?
He was not only a werewolf or only an alpha of a single pack. He was alpha of all the alphas, the leader of the werewolves with his destiny already announced even before his birth!
How could they fall in love If they could not even be sure of each other's personalities?
Wait! What?
Love?
Edwin's eyes widened in shock. Where the hell that came from?
"Love!" It felt so weird on his tongue.
Edwin shook his head fiercely to shrug that thought out of his mind. He had never paid attention to that side of being mates.
That word itself was foreign to him, let alone the feeling.
Edwin had always given in to his wolf. He had always desired Ruth because his wolf needed her. She was destined to be with his wolf.
Then what about his human form? What about his human part?
Had he ever looked at Ruth through a man's eyes??
He had! When he first saw her hazel eyes, when she was escaping 'the great manor', that had kept him spellbound; When she was standing in the Green's home in her blue dress.
But there were no feelings involved. He was impressed with only her beauty and not by her. He had either seen her through his wolf's eyes or a man's eyes.
But he had never seen her through a human's eyes.
If he did that now, would anything change? Would she fit in the frame of being his lover? Was he able to look at her in a romantic way? Was not that supposed to happen between the mates?
His mind again ran back to Ruth, and he anxiously tried to fit her face in that pink light. It felt strange, abnormal even. And he shuddered visibly as if he had experienced something very peculiar for the first time in his life.
It was true!
He found his heart beating on different beats that he had never experienced before.
He touched his chest right where his heart was beating on an unknown song.
~"Edwin! Edwin!"~
Edwin was too lost to feel someone trying to reach him through the mind link.
~"Edwin! Where the hell are you?"~
Someone angrily shouted in his mind. Edwin covered his ears at that screeching sound with a frown.
~"Who the hell is wishing for their funeral
?"~ Edwin growled thunderously.
~"It is your best friend trying to postpose YOUR funeral!"~
Edwin could never confuse that taunting and carefree voice with anyone.
~"Lester?"~
~"Lord Augustus is looking for you! If you do not wish to lose your throne, come fast!"~
With that warning, Lester closed his mind link, prohibiting Edwin from reaching him.
"Shit!"
Edwin cursed loudly and banged his fist on the hard ground with such a force that he heard the sound of bones breaking, but he did not feel any pain.
With another deep sigh, he looked up at the moon glowing in the dark sky.
"What game you are playing with me, Moon Goddess? I beg you to stop!"
Edwin wheezed out of the woods towards 'the great manor'.
The moon from above him looked at his misery with a taunting smile as if the Mon Goddess herself was saying - "It is just a beginning my child! You have to cover a long way!"
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Music Recommendation- Half A Man (Dean Lewis)
***************
Edwin ran as fast as he could. The trees of various heights passed by him. His shoes thumped on the ground only to say farewell to it, leaving the trail of dust behind.
His whole body was hot... not with need but with anger. His heart stammered against his chest, trying to come out tearing his flesh. His obsidian eyes flickered with the electric blue flames as if they were spitting fire in the hope to set the whole place on fire.
No one.... not even a small insect dared to came in his way as he ran through the woods, his chest tightening in pain.
He did not know how far he went or in which direction his legs took him. He was not ready to stop, did not want to stop. He was searching his gateway to a somewhere unknown, where he could hide for the eternity to come and never go back- to Vincardine, to his life, to the people around him and to the one who had bewitched every cell of his body... his very existence.
His burned up feet missed the stone in a way as his vision was clouded with emotions. His body glided on the rough and bumpy forest ground at the same speed as he was running not a moment ago.
His running came to end as he lay on the ground on his back. His chest rose and fell like the waves in an angry ocean. His hot breaths came like the violent eruption from a volcano.
His heart was as heavy as the weight of a planet.
Lester was right. He should not have given in to his emotions. They were his weakness. SHE was his weakness.
-"there is something about him that scares me."-
How easily she said those words. She did not think even once how sharp her words were. They had sliced the surface of his heart slowly, deliberately, enjoying the small trail of blood her words had left behind.
Edwin watched the partially hidden evening sky above him. And a thought crossed his mind.
Ruth.. she was just like that limitless sky, clear and mesmerizing. But untouched and unachievable. His shooting star, beautiful and attractive yet could not be caught.
He was that small bird who keeps taking a flight higher and higher in the sky in the hope to someday touch it, see what lies within it, behind those cottony clouds.
But its wings are not strong enough to take him above those clouds. It has to land again on the ground only to look up, and think 'I will get you, one day!'
Edwin did not feel any pain in his body after the unfortunate fall. Or maybe he did but was too numb to feel it. His heart was taking all the blows that the enchantress and his fate threw towards him.
-"My guts tell me that I should stay away from him. He... he is not what he portrays. He is something else... different... dark and... dangerous."-
Was Ruth wrong about him?
He did not need to rethink the answer because it was as clear as water.
NO!
She was not wrong about him.
He was not what he portrayed him to be. He was dark and dangerous. The extent? He himself did not know!
He had always thought on many points in life that it was his optimal darkness, and he could not be dangerous than that.
But every time he and his wolf proved him wrong. With each passing day, the darkness in him kept on growing. He did not mind it. In fact, he liked it.
He liked to be in control, to exert power. But he had not caught the sight of his shooting star then.
And now that he knew she was meant to be his, how could he let her go just like that? How could he stay away from her only because she was afraid of him?
?
Did he deserve her being afraid of him? Yes!
Did he deserve the tags of a womanizer and chauvinistic fool? Absolutely!
He had never given her a reason to think otherwise, and he was aware of that.
Then why did it hurt so much when she took his name as if it tasted bitter on her tongue? She could trust anyone in the world- even that greedy shop owner, her rude landlord, and so many but not him- her mate!
What could be more disheartening than that?
Edwin stayed in his position till the sky above him turned darker, indicating the arrival of the night. Hours passed, but he did not move. He did not feel like lifting his finger.
In an instant, everything he had done so far looked useless.
What was the importance of saving the world of the supernaturals, if he had to; if he could not make his own mate safe around him?
What was the good in guiding the werewolf race when he could not hold her hand in his?
Suddenly the loneliness tackled him with its ten hands, pinning him to the ground of self-doubt.
He wished to close his eyes, but all he could picture was Ruth's creased brows and the fear in her pretty hazel eyes. Her words ring in his ears.
After Edwin's encounter with Zoe, he could not get her words out of his head.
-"You deserve someone better Edwin. She is a good soul, I agree. But she is not capable of being your Luna and reign the werewolf world.
You need someone who can understand you, support you, empower you and love you the way you want. Forget about the mate bond, many of us have done that before. You will not be the first one."-
Edwin, frustrated, sat upon the ground, his body tensed. Spending his lifetime between the brave she-wolves and being a warrior, he had the sparse experience of encounters with humans.
The only human women he had met were under him in a bed.
The possibility of being destined to be with a human woman for the eternity had never crossed his mind- not even in his wildest dreams.
How much he wished he had been born as a human or at least a normal werewolf-like Rees.
He was also blessed with a human mate, but he was happy. He had never faced the dilemma Edwin was facing.
Then was Edwin wrong? Was he wrong in paying attention to Zoe's words?
He was not only a werewolf or only an alpha of a single pack. He was alpha of all the alphas, the leader of the werewolves with his destiny already announced even before his birth!
How could they fall in love If they could not even be sure of each other's personalities?
Wait! What?
Love?
Edwin's eyes widened in shock. Where the hell that came from?
"Love!" It felt so weird on his tongue.
Edwin shook his head fiercely to shrug that thought out of his mind. He had never paid attention to that side of being mates.
That word itself was foreign to him, let alone the feeling.
Edwin had always given in to his wolf. He had always desired Ruth because his wolf needed her. She was destined to be with his wolf.
Then what about his human form? What about his human part?
Had he ever looked at Ruth through a man's eyes??
He had! When he first saw her hazel eyes, when she was escaping 'the great manor', that had kept him spellbound; When she was standing in the Green's home in her blue dress.
But there were no feelings involved. He was impressed with only her beauty and not by her. He had either seen her through his wolf's eyes or a man's eyes.
But he had never seen her through a human's eyes.
If he did that now, would anything change? Would she fit in the frame of being his lover? Was he able to look at her in a romantic way? Was not that supposed to happen between the mates?
His mind again ran back to Ruth, and he anxiously tried to fit her face in that pink light. It felt strange, abnormal even. And he shuddered visibly as if he had experienced something very peculiar for the first time in his life.
It was true!
He found his heart beating on different beats that he had never experienced before.
He touched his chest right where his heart was beating on an unknown song.
~"Edwin! Edwin!"~
Edwin was too lost to feel someone trying to reach him through the mind link.
~"Edwin! Where the hell are you?"~
Someone angrily shouted in his mind. Edwin covered his ears at that screeching sound with a frown.
~"Who the hell is wishing for their funeral
?"~ Edwin growled thunderously.
~"It is your best friend trying to postpose YOUR funeral!"~
Edwin could never confuse that taunting and carefree voice with anyone.
~"Lester?"~
~"Lord Augustus is looking for you! If you do not wish to lose your throne, come fast!"~
With that warning, Lester closed his mind link, prohibiting Edwin from reaching him.
"Shit!"
Edwin cursed loudly and banged his fist on the hard ground with such a force that he heard the sound of bones breaking, but he did not feel any pain.
With another deep sigh, he looked up at the moon glowing in the dark sky.
"What game you are playing with me, Moon Goddess? I beg you to stop!"
Edwin wheezed out of the woods towards 'the great manor'.
The moon from above him looked at his misery with a taunting smile as if the Mon Goddess herself was saying - "It is just a beginning my child! You have to cover a long way!"
Music Recommendation- Half A Man Dean Lewis *************** Edwin ran as fast as he could. The trees of various heights passed by him. His shoes thumped on the ground only to say farewell to it, leaving the trail of dust behind. His whole body was hot... not with need but with anger. His heart stammered against his chest, trying to come out tearing his flesh. His obsidian eyes flickered with the electric blue flames as if they were spitting fire in the hope to set the whole place on fire. No one.... not even a small insect dared to came in his way as he ran through the woods, his chest tightening in pain. He did not know how far he went or in which direction his legs took him. He was not ready to stop, did not want to stop. He was searching his gateway to a somewhere unknown, where he could hide for the eternity to come and never go back- to Vincardine, to his life, to the people around him and to the one who had bewitched every cell of his body... his very existence. His burned up feet missed the stone in a way as his vision was clouded with emotions. His body glided on the rough and bumpy forest ground at the same speed as he was running not a moment ago. His running came to end as he lay on the ground on his back. His chest rose and fell like the waves in an angry ocean. His hot breaths came like the violent eruption from a volcano. His heart was as heavy as the weight of a planet. Lester was right. He should not have given in to his emotions. They were his weakness. SHE was his weakness. -"there is something about him that scares me."- How easily she said those words. She did not think even once how sharp her words were. They had sliced the surface of his heart slowly, deliberately, enjoying the small trail of blood her words had left behind. Edwin watched the partially hidden evening sky above him. And a thought crossed his mind. Ruth.. she was just like that limitless sky, clear and mesmerizing. But untouched and unachievable. His shooting star, beautiful and attractive yet could not be caught. He was that small bird who keeps taking a flight higher and higher in the sky in the hope to someday touch it, see what lies within it, behind those cottony clouds. But its wings are not strong enough to take him above those clouds. It has to land again on the ground only to look up, and think 'I will get you, one day!' Edwin did not feel any pain in his body after the unfortunate fall. Or maybe he did but was too numb to feel it. His heart was taking all the blows that the enchantress and his fate threw towards him. -"My guts tell me that I should stay away from him. He... he is not what he portrays. He is something else... different... dark and... dangerous."- Was Ruth wrong about him? He did not need to rethink the answer because it was as clear as water. NO! She was not wrong about him. He was not what he portrayed him to be. He was dark and dangerous. The extent? He himself did not know! He had always thought on many points in life that it was his optimal darkness, and he could not be dangerous than that. But every time he and his wolf proved him wrong. With each passing day, the darkness in him kept on growing. He did not mind it. In fact, he liked it. He liked to be in control, to exert power. But he had not caught the sight of his shooting star then. And now that he knew she was meant to be his, how could he let her go just like that? How could he stay away from her only because she was afraid of him? ? Did he deserve her being afraid of him? Yes! Did he deserve the tags of a womanizer and chauvinistic fool? Absolutely! He had never given her a reason to think otherwise, and he was aware of that. Then why did it hurt so much when she took his name as if it tasted bitter on her tongue? She could trust anyone in the world- even that greedy shop owner, her rude landlord, and so many but not him- her mate! What could be more disheartening than that? Edwin stayed in his position till the sky above him turned darker, indicating the arrival of the night. Hours passed, but he did not move. He did not feel like lifting his finger. In an instant, everything he had done so far looked useless. What was the importance of saving the world of the supernaturals, if he had to; if he could not make his own mate safe around him? What was the good in guiding the werewolf race when he could not hold her hand in his? Suddenly the loneliness tackled him with its ten hands, pinning him to the ground of self-doubt. He wished to close his eyes, but all he could picture was Ruth's creased brows and the fear in her pretty hazel eyes. Her words ring in his ears. After Edwin's encounter with Zoe, he could not get her words out of his head. -"You deserve someone better Edwin. She is a good soul, I agree. But she is not capable of being your Luna and reign the werewolf world. You need someone who can understand you, support you, empower you and love you the way you want. Forget about the mate bond, many of us have done that before. You will not be the first one."- Edwin, frustrated, sat upon the ground, his body tensed. Spending his lifetime between the brave she-wolves and being a warrior, he had the sparse experience of encounters with humans. The only human women he had met were under him in a bed. The possibility of being destined to be with a human woman for the eternity had never crossed his mind- not even in his wildest dreams. How much he wished he had been born as a human or at least a normal werewolf-like Rees. He was also blessed with a human mate, but he was happy. He had never faced the dilemma Edwin was facing. Then was Edwin wrong? Was he wrong in paying attention to Zoe's words? He was not only a werewolf or only an alpha of a single pack. He was alpha of all the alphas, the leader of the werewolves with his destiny already announced even before his birth! How could they fall in love If they could not even be sure of each other's personalities? Wait! What? Love? Edwin's eyes widened in shock. Where the hell that came from? "Love!" It felt so weird on his tongue. Edwin shook his head fiercely to shrug that thought out of his mind. He had never paid attention to that side of being mates. That word itself was foreign to him, let alone the feeling. Edwin had always given in to his wolf. He had always desired Ruth because his wolf needed her. She was destined to be with his wolf. Then what about his human form? What about his human part? Had he ever looked at Ruth through a man's eyes?? He had! When he first saw her hazel eyes, when she was escaping 'the great manor', that had kept him spellbound; When she was standing in the Green's home in her blue dress. But there were no feelings involved. He was impressed with only her beauty and not by her. He had either seen her through his wolf's eyes or a man's eyes. But he had never seen her through a human's eyes. If he did that now, would anything change? Would she fit in the frame of being his lover? Was he able to look at her in a romantic way? Was not that supposed to happen between the mates? His mind again ran back to Ruth, and he anxiously tried to fit her face in that pink light. It felt strange, abnormal even. And he shuddered visibly as if he had experienced something very peculiar for the first time in his life. It was true! He found his heart beating on different beats that he had never experienced before. He touched his chest right where his heart was beating on an unknown song. ~"Edwin! Edwin!"~ Edwin was too lost to feel someone trying to reach him through the mind link. ~"Edwin! Where the hell are you?"~ Someone angrily shouted in his mind. Edwin covered his ears at that screeching sound with a frown. ~"Who the hell is wishing for their funeral ?"~ Edwin growled thunderously. ~"It is your best friend trying to postpose YOUR funeral!"~ Edwin could never confuse that taunting and carefree voice with anyone. ~"Lester?"~ ~"Lord Augustus is looking for you! If you do not wish to lose your throne, come fast!"~ With that warning, Lester closed his mind link, prohibiting Edwin from reaching him. "Shit!" Edwin cursed loudly and banged his fist on the hard ground with such a force that he heard the sound of bones breaking, but he did not feel any pain. With another deep sigh, he looked up at the moon glowing in the dark sky. "What game you are playing with me, Moon Goddess? I beg you to stop!" Edwin wheezed out of the woods towards 'the great manor'. The moon from above him looked at his misery with a taunting smile as if the Mon Goddess herself was saying - "It is just a beginning my child! You have to cover a long way!"
