The overwhelming willful ignorance Kiritsugu showed towards Saber was not just because the two of them had different faiths. If Kiritsugu did not carry emotions such as extreme hatred or anger towards Saber, it would be impossible for him to act so indifferently towards her. All in all, Kiritsugu had gone too far this time. No matter when their strategies differed, they were still companions fighting for a common goal. Although they did not respect each other, neither should they humiliate each other.
Irisviel soon found Kiritsugu's figure. He was on the balcony where he could look out over the castle's front garden, prostrate on the railing and looking out into the night forest. Fortunately, Maiya's figure was not next to Kiritsugu.
"...Kiritsugu."
Irisviel spoke as she slowly approached Kiritsugu's back. She didn't think that her voice would suddenly become stern. Kiritsugu must have felt the presence as well; Kiritsugu did not seem surprised at all and slowly turned around.
Irisviel was already prepared. Just then, when Kiritsugu confronted Saber in the meeting room, a look of such cruelty appeared in her eyes. Irisviel prepared to stand directly in Kiritsugu's cruel gaze. However, when she saw Kiritsugu's expression as he turned around, she couldn't help but feel helpless and stopped rooted to the ground.
Kiritsugu's expression was like that of a hurt and helpless child, forcibly holding back his tears. Kiritsugu looked as if he had been put up against a wall. The Kiritsugu who now stood before Irisviel was so remote from the figure of the mighty magus slayer; he was just a weak and cowardly man.
"Kiritsugu, you -"
Kiritsugu did not speak, hugging the confused Irisviel tightly. His chest was trembling. In Irisviel's eyes, her husband's shoulders were always strong and powerful, something for others to lean on, but now her husband was as helpless as a baby sheltered in his gentle mother's arms.
"If I -"
Irisviel felt her husband hug her tightly, until she hurt. There, her husband's faint question echoed next to her ear.
"If I decided to abandon everything and run away from here now - Iri, would you go with me?"
Irisviel would probably never have imagined that a man like Emiya Kiritsugu would ask such a question. She was so shocked that she couldn't speak for a moment, and only after a long pause did she ask:
"Ilya... that girl is still in the castle, what about her?"
"We go back to the castle and take her. We would murder everyone who got in our way."
That was a short, twitching sound - but also full of desperation. Kiritsugu was undoubtedly not joking; he was serious.
"After that - I will give everything I have to my family. I will protect Ilya and you with my life."
3
"..."
Now Irisviel finally understood the feelings trapped in the man in front of her. Kiritsugu, her life's companion, was facing the greatest battle of his life, and he has already been forced onto a path of no return.
He was no longer the Kiritsugu of nine years ago. He was no longer the cold and emotionless dog, no longer the killing machine that punished himself endlessly.
Kiritsugu had changed. He had become very weak, even forcing himself into such situations to fulfill his cruel ideal. The key that made Kiritsugu change was none other than Irisviel.
Wife and daughter. Both were not to run through Emiya Kiritsugu's life.
Originally, Kiritsugu had nothing to lose. He could not even feel pain. Precisely because Emiya Kiritsugu was that man that he could be extraordinarily strong, he could follow the immense ideal of saving the world, sacrificing everything for that without a second thought, and became a soldier whose ruthlessness knew no bounds.
The present Kiritsugu wanted to return to that past, to the man he used to be. But - at the same time as he recalled the past, deep in Kiritsugu's soul, an inconsolable dilemma formed. These nine years completely changed Kiritsugu. Kiritsugu was already enduring enormous pressure and pain just to maintain the look of cruelty and callousness he used to have.
Kiritsugu's ignorance towards Saber was precisely the revelation of Kiritsugu's weakness. Now, Kiritsugu was already exhausted trying to preserve himself. He had no energy to accept Saber, nor did he have extra energy to communicate with the King of Knights.
Irisviel's heart ached terribly. The man she loved with all her heart was tormented, but there was nothing she could do. That's because the person who caused all of Kiritsugu's anguish is herself.
The only thing Irisviel can do now - was weakly bestowed doubt towards him.
"Can we escape? We..."
"We can. Now there's still a chance."
Kiritsugu immediately replied. But it was not believable. Kiritsugu only said that to allow his heart to treasure that illusory hope.
"- You're lying."
Irisviel remarked to him, gently, cruelly.
"That's impossible. Emiya Kiritsugu, you can't run away.
Abandoning the Holy Grail, abandoning the ideal of saving the world; you would definitely not forgive yourself. You would definitely be the last judge and declare the death penalty for yourself."
Kiritsugu finally cried. He understood that too. He had no alternatives for a long time.
While speaking to Kiritsugu, Irisviel recalled what she had discussed with Drako the day before. She couldn't trust him, but she couldn't fully distrust his words either.
"I'm so afraid..."
Kiritsugu sobbed and spoke everything in his heart like a child.
Emiya Kiritsugu, not a hero, not a warrior, but an assassin. He has neither the courage nor the pride that the others have with their lives on the brink. He is a coward. Thus, his goal is to secure his victory and the right to survive cautiously and with the least risk. For the hunter, the worst nightmare is to be hunted by another.
But even so, if it were the Kiritsugu of nine years ago, he would do nothing but raise an eyebrow and plot the best solution. That was the terrifying Kiritsugu when he had no one beloved to lose. But now, when he, Kiritsugu, who fears losing those he loves, faces battle again, that fear becomes his fatal weakness.
"I will not let you fight alone."
Irisviel gently told him as she stroked her husband's trembling back.
"I will protect you. Saber will protect you too. And... Maiya will also stand by you."
Irisviel was forced to admit which woman Kiritsugu needed more right now.
Only one person can reawaken the unwavering steadfastness sealed deep within Kiritsugu's heart and revoke the cruel and heartless personality Kiritsugu had many years ago. But Irisviel would never mention this to Kiritsugu.
If Irisviel can still do anything, it is to embrace Kiritsugu and allow him to have a temporary comfort. Either way - Irisviel silently prayed in her heart.
It wouldn't matter if her prayers didn't work. She prayed that the time she could embrace Kiritsugu would be extended, even if it was just a minute or a second. Then, she could heal Kiritsugu's pain as much as she could with her limited strength.
"Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about."
And so, Irisviel spoke to Kiritsugu about what Drako had spoken to her the night before while Saber was fighting with Mordred. That conversation that wouldn't go away from her mind: The possibility that the Holy Grail was corrupted, the feeling she herself had felt deep inside, and... the offer Drako had given her.
"He can save you from the death of the Grail?"
Kiritsugu broke away from Irisviel's embrace, letting her breathe for a moment. His eyes showed the disbelief he felt, as well as doubt and uncertainty. In truth, he didn't seem to know whether this news was good or bad for him. On the one hand, there was the possibility of saving his wife from the cruel fate weighing on her shoulders. On the other hand, it could be said that he had been fighting and preparing for more than 9 years for a farce.
Leaving aside that what Drako said was a lie, Irisviel had told Kiritsugu considerably changed the possible actions they would take in the future. For the time being, he had reaffirmed not to actively attack Drako. Kiritsugu already knew that the mysterious man would not attack him, as it seemed that he cherished Irisviel and Saber for some reason.
Irisviel did not know that the decision to talk to Kiritsugu on this matter would be a crucial trigger for the development of this Holy Grail War.
The overwhelming willful ignorance Kiritsugu showed towards Saber was not just because the two of them had different faiths. If Kiritsugu did not carry emotions such as extreme hatred or anger towards Saber, it would be impossible for him to act so indifferently towards her. All in all, Kiritsugu had gone too far this time. No matter when their strategies differed, they were still companions fighting for a common goal. Although they did not respect each other, neither should they humiliate each other.
Irisviel soon found Kiritsugu's figure. He was on the balcony where he could look out over the castle's front garden, prostrate on the railing and looking out into the night forest. Fortunately, Maiya's figure was not next to Kiritsugu.
"...Kiritsugu."
Irisviel spoke as she slowly approached Kiritsugu's back. She didn't think that her voice would suddenly become stern. Kiritsugu must have felt the presence as well; Kiritsugu did not seem surprised at all and slowly turned around.
Irisviel was already prepared. Just then, when Kiritsugu confronted Saber in the meeting room, a look of such cruelty appeared in her eyes. Irisviel prepared to stand directly in Kiritsugu's cruel gaze. However, when she saw Kiritsugu's expression as he turned around, she couldn't help but feel helpless and stopped rooted to the ground.
Kiritsugu's expression was like that of a hurt and helpless child, forcibly holding back his tears. Kiritsugu looked as if he had been put up against a wall. The Kiritsugu who now stood before Irisviel was so remote from the figure of the mighty magus slayer; he was just a weak and cowardly man.
"Kiritsugu, you -"
Kiritsugu did not speak, hugging the confused Irisviel tightly. His chest was trembling. In Irisviel's eyes, her husband's shoulders were always strong and powerful, something for others to lean on, but now her husband was as helpless as a baby sheltered in his gentle mother's arms.
"If I -"
Irisviel felt her husband hug her tightly, until she hurt. There, her husband's faint question echoed next to her ear.
"If I decided to abandon everything and run away from here now - Iri, would you go with me?"
Irisviel would probably never have imagined that a man like Emiya Kiritsugu would ask such a question. She was so shocked that she couldn't speak for a moment, and only after a long pause did she ask:
"Ilya... that girl is still in the castle, what about her?"
"We go back to the castle and take her. We would murder everyone who got in our way."
That was a short, twitching sound - but also full of desperation. Kiritsugu was undoubtedly not joking; he was serious.
"After that - I will give everything I have to my family. I will protect Ilya and you with my life."
3
"..."
Now Irisviel finally understood the feelings trapped in the man in front of her. Kiritsugu, her life's companion, was facing the greatest battle of his life, and he has already been forced onto a path of no return.
He was no longer the Kiritsugu of nine years ago. He was no longer the cold and emotionless dog, no longer the killing machine that punished himself endlessly.
Kiritsugu had changed. He had become very weak, even forcing himself into such situations to fulfill his cruel ideal. The key that made Kiritsugu change was none other than Irisviel.
Wife and daughter. Both were not to run through Emiya Kiritsugu's life.
Originally, Kiritsugu had nothing to lose. He could not even feel pain. Precisely because Emiya Kiritsugu was that man that he could be extraordinarily strong, he could follow the immense ideal of saving the world, sacrificing everything for that without a second thought, and became a soldier whose ruthlessness knew no bounds.
The present Kiritsugu wanted to return to that past, to the man he used to be. But - at the same time as he recalled the past, deep in Kiritsugu's soul, an inconsolable dilemma formed. These nine years completely changed Kiritsugu. Kiritsugu was already enduring enormous pressure and pain just to maintain the look of cruelty and callousness he used to have.
Kiritsugu's ignorance towards Saber was precisely the revelation of Kiritsugu's weakness. Now, Kiritsugu was already exhausted trying to preserve himself. He had no energy to accept Saber, nor did he have extra energy to communicate with the King of Knights.
Irisviel's heart ached terribly. The man she loved with all her heart was tormented, but there was nothing she could do. That's because the person who caused all of Kiritsugu's anguish is herself.
The only thing Irisviel can do now - was weakly bestowed doubt towards him.
"Can we escape? We..."
"We can. Now there's still a chance."
Kiritsugu immediately replied. But it was not believable. Kiritsugu only said that to allow his heart to treasure that illusory hope.
"- You're lying."
Irisviel remarked to him, gently, cruelly.
"That's impossible. Emiya Kiritsugu, you can't run away.
Abandoning the Holy Grail, abandoning the ideal of saving the world; you would definitely not forgive yourself. You would definitely be the last judge and declare the death penalty for yourself."
Kiritsugu finally cried. He understood that too. He had no alternatives for a long time.
While speaking to Kiritsugu, Irisviel recalled what she had discussed with Drako the day before. She couldn't trust him, but she couldn't fully distrust his words either.
"I'm so afraid..."
Kiritsugu sobbed and spoke everything in his heart like a child.
Emiya Kiritsugu, not a hero, not a warrior, but an assassin. He has neither the courage nor the pride that the others have with their lives on the brink. He is a coward. Thus, his goal is to secure his victory and the right to survive cautiously and with the least risk. For the hunter, the worst nightmare is to be hunted by another.
But even so, if it were the Kiritsugu of nine years ago, he would do nothing but raise an eyebrow and plot the best solution. That was the terrifying Kiritsugu when he had no one beloved to lose. But now, when he, Kiritsugu, who fears losing those he loves, faces battle again, that fear becomes his fatal weakness.
"I will not let you fight alone."
Irisviel gently told him as she stroked her husband's trembling back.
"I will protect you. Saber will protect you too. And... Maiya will also stand by you."
Irisviel was forced to admit which woman Kiritsugu needed more right now.
Only one person can reawaken the unwavering steadfastness sealed deep within Kiritsugu's heart and revoke the cruel and heartless personality Kiritsugu had many years ago. But Irisviel would never mention this to Kiritsugu.
If Irisviel can still do anything, it is to embrace Kiritsugu and allow him to have a temporary comfort. Either way - Irisviel silently prayed in her heart.
It wouldn't matter if her prayers didn't work. She prayed that the time she could embrace Kiritsugu would be extended, even if it was just a minute or a second. Then, she could heal Kiritsugu's pain as much as she could with her limited strength.
"Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about."
And so, Irisviel spoke to Kiritsugu about what Drako had spoken to her the night before while Saber was fighting with Mordred. That conversation that wouldn't go away from her mind: The possibility that the Holy Grail was corrupted, the feeling she herself had felt deep inside, and... the offer Drako had given her.
"He can save you from the death of the Grail?"
Kiritsugu broke away from Irisviel's embrace, letting her breathe for a moment. His eyes showed the disbelief he felt, as well as doubt and uncertainty. In truth, he didn't seem to know whether this news was good or bad for him. On the one hand, there was the possibility of saving his wife from the cruel fate weighing on her shoulders. On the other hand, it could be said that he had been fighting and preparing for more than 9 years for a farce.
Leaving aside that what Drako said was a lie, Irisviel had told Kiritsugu considerably changed the possible actions they would take in the future. For the time being, he had reaffirmed not to actively attack Drako. Kiritsugu already knew that the mysterious man would not attack him, as it seemed that he cherished Irisviel and Saber for some reason.
Irisviel did not know that the decision to talk to Kiritsugu on this matter would be a crucial trigger for the development of this Holy Grail War.
