Billiard balls and drinking glasses both clanked around in competition of what could make the most noise. Dani felt concerned as she sat at Simon’s grandmother’s half-finished bar in the corner of the basement room. Not because anything was wrong, but because nothing was.
She ate a delicious meal she helped to prepare, made normal conversation with a few of the older relatives, and now got to relax with Simon and Phoebe while they sat and watched the younger cousins figure out how to use a pool cue.
As Simon and his sister fumbled around trying to open a bottle of wine, Dani tried to figure out what her problem was.
What am I missing? I should be nervous about something. Maybe one of their uncles said something about me when I was in a different room. Something like that should have happened by now.
A pop went off right next to her ear.
“There we go,” Phoebe said with a happy exhale.
Simon was still rifling through the cabinet for proper glasses. “I think all the wine glasses are kept upstairs, I don’t see any in here.”
“Fine, I’ll go check.” She slid the cork into the back of Simon’s sweater before heading upstairs.
“Are you kidding me!?”
Dani couldn’t help but laugh at seeing her lanky best friend dance and struggle to get it out of his clothes. It brought her back to all of the fun she used to have spending time with Simon and his family in high school.
“She’s lucky I didn’t wear my white sweater,” was all he said once he retrieved the cork. His annoyed expression turned to a soft smile once he looked at Dani.
Anything that was about to be said between them was interrupted when one of the teenage cousins stepped away from the pool table and over to the bar. Dani guessed he was just entering high school, no older than fourteen. The way he dressed reminded her of Simon around that age, with a long sleeved t-shirt and messy hair.
I guess he still dresses like that most of the time.
“Hey,” the kid said. “Can I have some?” His eyes were set on Simon, though they flicked to Dani now and then. He had a mischievous look to him, as most kids his age did.
Simon scoffed. “Yeah sorry no, your mom would hate me.”
“Come on!” He pleaded. “Just like half a glass or something, it’s not a big deal.”
“What do you think, Dani?” Simon put his hand around the wine bottle and pulled it toward him.
Dani wasn’t prepared to be dragged into the tiny familial spat. “Umm, I think you probably wouldn’t like it.”
The teenagers looked desperate. Back by the pool table, Dani noticed the rest of the younger cousins all staring at them and snickering.
Aw, he wants to impress them so bad.
“Sorry, you guys are too young.” Dani didn’t want to make him upset but also didn’t want to let Simon down.
“Well there you have it,” Simon said. “Two against one.”
The kid didn’t give up. “Well of course she agrees with you, she’s like your girlfriend or whatever. I’ll ask Phoebe, I bet she’ll let me.”
Dani tried to ignore what he said about her being Simon’s girlfriend.
Simon didn’t say anything like that, right? No, the kid is just making a random assumption. I guess I would do the same in his position, it’s not the most normal thing in the world for a guy to bring a girl with him to a family holiday unless they’re an item.
She peeked over at Simon, trying not to make it obvious. He was no longer smiling and instead looked frustrated with his cousin.
God, he probably feels more awkward than I do. I hope he’s alright.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Simon muttered. He let go of the wine bottle and squatted down to the mini-fridge behind the bar. “But, since you insist, I’ll make you something to drink if you promise not to tell anyone upstairs.”
“Okay!” He said with a voice crack. In embarrassment, he kept talking. “Like, sure. Deal.”
Simon rose up from the bar with a huge grin on his face and a bottle of sparkling cider in his hand. “Here.” He set the bottle on the countertop and slid it to his cousin. “You and everyone else over there can drink as much as you want, there’s two more bottles in the fridge.”
“Ugh, whatever,” he said with a whine. His short walk back to the pool table was filled with laughter from everyone in the basement other than him.
Dani had already forgotten the embarrassment and worry she was feeling a few seconds prior.
Wow, Simon really is in his element when dealing with children. No wonder he’s been delaying getting a “real job” with his degree.
“Sorry about him,” Simon said. “I guess that fact that you’re just a friend wasn’t made clear enough to everyone.”
“It’s alright.” Dani was realizing how naturally the whole family had been referring to her as a girl, overshadowing any awkward relationship assumptions they made. “Doesn’t really matter what a teenager thinks, right?”
Simon smiled and sat down on the bar stool next to Dani’s. “I hope you’ve had a good Thanksgiving so far. You fit in great with everyone here, they love you.”
Do they really? I hardly know most of them. What kind of family is this?
“It’s been great, actually. Top five for sure.” Dani tried to think if she even had five fond Thanksgiving memories to complete that list.
“Hey,” Phoebe’s voice called out of nowhere. She was already near the bottom of the steps before Dani noticed her. “Sorry, everyone wanted to chat. But we’re good now.” She held up the three wine glasses as her prize, two in one hand and a lone one in her other.
The same cousin who had tried to beg for a drink was looking at Phoebe like a stray cat peering through the window of a warm home mid-blizzard. Dani then pointed it out to Simon for them to both laugh at.
***
Being trapped in a car with someone you don’t want to talk to should be looked into for CIA torture methods. That’s what Ryan was thinking, at least.
The ride home from Thanksgiving, back to his father’s house where he grew up and hadn’t returned to in months, was more tense than he had ever felt. It came on the back of finding out his family wasn’t just misguided in their thinking. He found it easier to be around them when he disagreed silently but assumed they were an outdated, yet still caring family at their center. Instead, they were capable of not only exiling one of their own family for being gay, but his father had tried to keep it a secret from him.
What did he think would happen? That I would hear my cousin is gay and instantly go out and find a man to kiss? Just how scared is he?
That was what Ryan had realized. His family weren’t loving and tight-knit, nor were they scheming masterminds set out to cause unhappy times for everyone. They were cowards, plain and simple. Cowards who convinced themselves they were backed into a corner and began lashing out in meaningless attempts to stop being so afraid. His own father, a paragon of confidence in his eyes, was a coward.
And now he was in a car with him, already fifteen minutes on the road without any words exchanged. Ryan wondered if his dad could sense the same tension he did, or if he was content, driving in the dark, ignorantly blissful. His phone, now with Heather’s number saved inside, felt like contraband.
Do I confront him? Or see if things can work themselves out? Oh who am I kidding, how could that even happen. He’s not gonna see a rainbow or something and realize he’s been a bigot his whole life.
As heartbroken and discouraged as he was, a piece of Ryan still wanted his dad to improve. To feel proud of him again, like when he grew up.
“So,” Ryan said. He had no clue how to get his father to speak to him with honesty. “Nice to see everyone again.” The rage he was feeling seeped through in his words but he tried his best to keep it light.
His dad grumbled in agreement and cleared his throat. “Yup. Food was good too.”
“Have you been alright lately?” Asking how the other was doing, outside of the typical way people greeted each other, was unheard of between them. But Ryan knew his fondness of his father would continue to fade each day, every time a new issue came up. In a way it was freeing. He hoped the voice that always gave him doubt might fade alongside it. Still, if he never even tried to reach out in earnest he knew he would regret it.
“Huh?” His dad shot him a quizzical look. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well it’s a crazy world, you know.” Ryan let out a yawn which he didn’t bother to cover. “Anything can happen, just checking in on you.”
“Ah, thanks then.” He no longer bothered to look at Ryan when he spoke, which Ryan was thankful for seeing as it was pitch black outside and he didn’t want to see a deer get annihilated by reckless driving. “Actually, my stocks have been doing real well. Clyde is gonna come over tomorrow before you head home, like I said, he can set you up with–”
“Is that all you actually care about?” Ryan said. He cut himself off before going further, surprised at his own ability to talk back to his father.
“What? It’s money, it’s your future. It’s important stuff, you know that.” His voice had a subtle anger to it. As if he was trying to ignore Ryan’s rude act of interrupting him but was having trouble. “If money wasn’t a problem then I wouldn’t have had to work so hard to keep us going strong when you were growing up. If I knew then what I knew now, it all would have been a breeze. I want you to have that knowledge for when you start your own family.”
Ryan looked for the words to use to explain all the problems he saw in his father’s way of thinking. They didn’t come to him. Instead, the rage he had been containing all day fizzled out and left him feeling empty and numb.
“Alright, I’ll hear what Clyde has to say. You’re right.”
I guess we’re both cowards.
Billiard balls and drinking glasses both clanked around in competition of what could make the most noise. Dani felt concerned as she sat at Simon’s grandmother’s half-finished bar in the corner of the basement room. Not because anything was wrong, but because nothing was.
She ate a delicious meal she helped to prepare, made normal conversation with a few of the older relatives, and now got to relax with Simon and Phoebe while they sat and watched the younger cousins figure out how to use a pool cue.
As Simon and his sister fumbled around trying to open a bottle of wine, Dani tried to figure out what her problem was.
What am I missing? I should be nervous about something. Maybe one of their uncles said something about me when I was in a different room. Something like that should have happened by now.
A pop went off right next to her ear.
“There we go,” Phoebe said with a happy exhale.
Simon was still rifling through the cabinet for proper glasses. “I think all the wine glasses are kept upstairs, I don’t see any in here.”
“Fine, I’ll go check.” She slid the cork into the back of Simon’s sweater before heading upstairs.
“Are you kidding me!?”
Dani couldn’t help but laugh at seeing her lanky best friend dance and struggle to get it out of his clothes. It brought her back to all of the fun she used to have spending time with Simon and his family in high school.
“She’s lucky I didn’t wear my white sweater,” was all he said once he retrieved the cork. His annoyed expression turned to a soft smile once he looked at Dani.
Anything that was about to be said between them was interrupted when one of the teenage cousins stepped away from the pool table and over to the bar. Dani guessed he was just entering high school, no older than fourteen. The way he dressed reminded her of Simon around that age, with a long sleeved t-shirt and messy hair.
I guess he still dresses like that most of the time.
“Hey,” the kid said. “Can I have some?” His eyes were set on Simon, though they flicked to Dani now and then. He had a mischievous look to him, as most kids his age did.
Simon scoffed. “Yeah sorry no, your mom would hate me.”
“Come on!” He pleaded. “Just like half a glass or something, it’s not a big deal.”
“What do you think, Dani?” Simon put his hand around the wine bottle and pulled it toward him.
Dani wasn’t prepared to be dragged into the tiny familial spat. “Umm, I think you probably wouldn’t like it.”
The teenagers looked desperate. Back by the pool table, Dani noticed the rest of the younger cousins all staring at them and snickering.
Aw, he wants to impress them so bad.
“Sorry, you guys are too young.” Dani didn’t want to make him upset but also didn’t want to let Simon down.
“Well there you have it,” Simon said. “Two against one.”
The kid didn’t give up. “Well of course she agrees with you, she’s like your girlfriend or whatever. I’ll ask Phoebe, I bet she’ll let me.”
Dani tried to ignore what he said about her being Simon’s girlfriend.
Simon didn’t say anything like that, right? No, the kid is just making a random assumption. I guess I would do the same in his position, it’s not the most normal thing in the world for a guy to bring a girl with him to a family holiday unless they’re an item.
She peeked over at Simon, trying not to make it obvious. He was no longer smiling and instead looked frustrated with his cousin.
God, he probably feels more awkward than I do. I hope he’s alright.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Simon muttered. He let go of the wine bottle and squatted down to the mini-fridge behind the bar. “But, since you insist, I’ll make you something to drink if you promise not to tell anyone upstairs.”
“Okay!” He said with a voice crack. In embarrassment, he kept talking. “Like, sure. Deal.”
Simon rose up from the bar with a huge grin on his face and a bottle of sparkling cider in his hand. “Here.” He set the bottle on the countertop and slid it to his cousin. “You and everyone else over there can drink as much as you want, there’s two more bottles in the fridge.”
“Ugh, whatever,” he said with a whine. His short walk back to the pool table was filled with laughter from everyone in the basement other than him.
Dani had already forgotten the embarrassment and worry she was feeling a few seconds prior.
Wow, Simon really is in his element when dealing with children. No wonder he’s been delaying getting a “real job” with his degree.
“Sorry about him,” Simon said. “I guess that fact that you’re just a friend wasn’t made clear enough to everyone.”
“It’s alright.” Dani was realizing how naturally the whole family had been referring to her as a girl, overshadowing any awkward relationship assumptions they made. “Doesn’t really matter what a teenager thinks, right?”
Simon smiled and sat down on the bar stool next to Dani’s. “I hope you’ve had a good Thanksgiving so far. You fit in great with everyone here, they love you.”
Do they really? I hardly know most of them. What kind of family is this?
“It’s been great, actually. Top five for sure.” Dani tried to think if she even had five fond Thanksgiving memories to complete that list.
“Hey,” Phoebe’s voice called out of nowhere. She was already near the bottom of the steps before Dani noticed her. “Sorry, everyone wanted to chat. But we’re good now.” She held up the three wine glasses as her prize, two in one hand and a lone one in her other.
The same cousin who had tried to beg for a drink was looking at Phoebe like a stray cat peering through the window of a warm home mid-blizzard. Dani then pointed it out to Simon for them to both laugh at.
***
Being trapped in a car with someone you don’t want to talk to should be looked into for CIA torture methods. That’s what Ryan was thinking, at least.
The ride home from Thanksgiving, back to his father’s house where he grew up and hadn’t returned to in months, was more tense than he had ever felt. It came on the back of finding out his family wasn’t just misguided in their thinking. He found it easier to be around them when he disagreed silently but assumed they were an outdated, yet still caring family at their center. Instead, they were capable of not only exiling one of their own family for being gay, but his father had tried to keep it a secret from him.
What did he think would happen? That I would hear my cousin is gay and instantly go out and find a man to kiss? Just how scared is he?
That was what Ryan had realized. His family weren’t loving and tight-knit, nor were they scheming masterminds set out to cause unhappy times for everyone. They were cowards, plain and simple. Cowards who convinced themselves they were backed into a corner and began lashing out in meaningless attempts to stop being so afraid. His own father, a paragon of confidence in his eyes, was a coward.
And now he was in a car with him, already fifteen minutes on the road without any words exchanged. Ryan wondered if his dad could sense the same tension he did, or if he was content, driving in the dark, ignorantly blissful. His phone, now with Heather’s number saved inside, felt like contraband.
Do I confront him? Or see if things can work themselves out? Oh who am I kidding, how could that even happen. He’s not gonna see a rainbow or something and realize he’s been a bigot his whole life.
As heartbroken and discouraged as he was, a piece of Ryan still wanted his dad to improve. To feel proud of him again, like when he grew up.
“So,” Ryan said. He had no clue how to get his father to speak to him with honesty. “Nice to see everyone again.” The rage he was feeling seeped through in his words but he tried his best to keep it light.
His dad grumbled in agreement and cleared his throat. “Yup. Food was good too.”
“Have you been alright lately?” Asking how the other was doing, outside of the typical way people greeted each other, was unheard of between them. But Ryan knew his fondness of his father would continue to fade each day, every time a new issue came up. In a way it was freeing. He hoped the voice that always gave him doubt might fade alongside it. Still, if he never even tried to reach out in earnest he knew he would regret it.
“Huh?” His dad shot him a quizzical look. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well it’s a crazy world, you know.” Ryan let out a yawn which he didn’t bother to cover. “Anything can happen, just checking in on you.”
“Ah, thanks then.” He no longer bothered to look at Ryan when he spoke, which Ryan was thankful for seeing as it was pitch black outside and he didn’t want to see a deer get annihilated by reckless driving. “Actually, my stocks have been doing real well. Clyde is gonna come over tomorrow before you head home, like I said, he can set you up with–”
“Is that all you actually care about?” Ryan said. He cut himself off before going further, surprised at his own ability to talk back to his father.
“What? It’s money, it’s your future. It’s important stuff, you know that.” His voice had a subtle anger to it. As if he was trying to ignore Ryan’s rude act of interrupting him but was having trouble. “If money wasn’t a problem then I wouldn’t have had to work so hard to keep us going strong when you were growing up. If I knew then what I knew now, it all would have been a breeze. I want you to have that knowledge for when you start your own family.”
Ryan looked for the words to use to explain all the problems he saw in his father’s way of thinking. They didn’t come to him. Instead, the rage he had been containing all day fizzled out and left him feeling empty and numb.
“Alright, I’ll hear what Clyde has to say. You’re right.”
I guess we’re both cowards.
