Chapter 329
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Chapter 329
No one ever mentions the inconvenience of carrying a pole-arm around. You cant just lay it down whenever you feel like because someone might trip over it, and you cant put it aside because if a weapon is out of reach when shit goes down, then its utterly useless. Keep in mind, here, in this world, shit is always about to go down, which means you want your weapons close to hand at all times. Another thing I never realized is how tiring itd be lugging this twenty kilogram monstrosity of a weapon around. Its not the heaviest pole-arm Ive seen, but Im not exactly buffy mc bufferson either, and after a few short hours of keeping it close, my forearms are screaming at the strain.
Then theres the mental stress which comes from worrying if Im going to accidentally impale or garrote someone by moving too quickly, which means checking and double checking my surroundings whenever I want to sit or stretch, or thanking the Mother no one was hurt when I forget to. Ive only had Unity for a few hours but Ive already had a couple close calls, mostly with my oh-so-adorable fur babies and most recently with Blackjack. When not cuddling with Mama Bun, the little cloud chaser hare loves having a birds eye view, so the first thing Blackjack did this morning was crawl up my shirt and hop onto Unitys cross-guard to lord over the surroundings. Adorable and harmless I thought, until I forgot Blackjack was up there and decided to give my new weapon a flashy twirl. Needless to say, the little black hare is very upset about the impromptu flying lesson and glaring at me from his (or her, still cant tell) perch atop Ping Pings head. Okay, maybe not glaring since bunnies and hares always look adorably angry, but the point still stands.
Glancing around to make sure no one is watching, I lean over and give Aurie a vigorous head scratching, my heart melting at his sweet kitty smile. Nothing wrong here, just a perfectly masculine and heroic young man bonding with his ferocious battle cat. Whos my furocious little battle kitty? You are Aurie, yes you are. Sitting lazily in the grass, Aurie leans against my hip and rumbles in delight while Jimjam sulks at the side. Somehow, I think he sees himself as a consummate predator and finds immense self satisfaction from hunting his own meals. Not letting him steal a bite has injured his pride but my grouchiest of floofs needs to learn boundaries.
Dont kneel and hug him. Just dont. Thats a gateway cuddle and next thing you know youll be covered in floofs and giggling like a schoolgirl. Jimjam is playing you, he knows his whole surly brooding shtick never fails to earn him a boop and a treat. Stay strong and dont give in. No matter how fluffy and adorable your fur babies are, you cannot hug and kiss them in public like you used to. You have an image to maintain, because when image does not match reputation, people tend to believe what they see over what they hear. No more public displays of floof affection. That was the old Falling Rain. Today, youll show the Empire the new and improved Falling Rain, with 50% fewer voices in his head.
My heart pangs with grief and I remind myself its too soon for those sort of jokes. Its one thing to say Baledagh is still here with me and another to actually believe it. With my two betrothed having absconded back to bed, Id normally go cuddle with my fur-babies to cheer up, but new me has to settle for a friendly pat. Maintaining my public image is the worst, but theres too much riding on it to behave otherwise. Everyones been telling me this for years to stop being so weird and if Bulats ridiculously expensive bar-crawl taught me anything, its that rumours spread like wildfire and proof is irrelevant. All it takes is for one drunk hillbilly to make an off-colour joke and by the next morning, the whole Empire will think Im some sort of bear-shagging pervert or worse. Seriously, its scary how easily Bulat convinced all of Nan Ping the shark attack was a deliberate attack. Apparently, while I was busy Awakening in the water, the city turned into a powder keg of unrest and animosity, a stones throw away from open conflict between nobles and commoners.
All over little old me. Its flattering really.
The nobles have no one to blame but themselves for all the underlying hostility. I doubt the commoners would have flocked to my cause so readily if the nobles behaved like decent human beings and treated everyone with respect and dignity. I like to believe people are inherently good, but the more I see of the world, the harder it gets to maintain that belief. Since his outing into Nan Ping, Bulats new drinking buddies/unsuspecting informants have provided a steady stream of news regarding scandals and gossip, some of which makes my skin crawl. Profiteering, exploitation, and blackmail are only the tip of the iceberg and things get worse from there.
Honestly, its a miracle the commoners havent burned Nan Ping to the ground in a fit of righteous fury.
Martial Warriors only make up 1% of the population, so if commoners stand together, Im not sure theres much the nobles could do. Slaughter the leaders and force the rest to work I guess, but in a world of swords and arrows, force multipliers are few and far between. Whats more, its not like Martial Warriors can be alert every second of every day. You only need one torch to set fire to a granary or one stone to start an avalanche. I wouldnt mind holding that torch either, something needs to change. After all the raised tempers and exposed secrets, in the end, nothing happened. The only thing we accomplished was outing the Legate as an unreliable supporter, which wasnt exactly surprising. I suppose it also quashed all the nasty talk about how I went swimming with a scarf wrapped around my crotch, which I supposed makes it worth the astronomical price tag. Id be happier if I knew who tried to have me killed via shark-pack, but at least whoever it was hasnt made a second attempt.
Yet.
With Peace on my hip, Tranquility hanging from my shoulder, Unity in my grasp, and a helmet (stuffed with what I think is modified Demon Ichor) under my arm, I stand bare-chested in my swimming trunks on the shores of Nan Ping Bay. The deceptively calm surface is aglow in the morning light, the rising sun casting an orange-red hue across the crystal clear waters. The beauty is lost on me as I hunt for hidden dangers and crafty vegetables, praying my mobile plant theory holds water and Im not barking up the wrong tree. I told Akanai, Mila, Taduk, and Guard Leader my suspicions and none of them outright laughed, but they didnt exactly look confident either.
Okay, so Im grasping at straws here, but what else am I supposed to do? I know Ping Ping can sense Blobby because thats how she found me in the first place, but she doesnt seem to care Ive lost it and still refuses to leave my side. Its entirely possible Blobby just got sick of listening to me talk to myself and left, but I cant give up and move on. Without Blobbys purification powers, using my Talent (sigh) to suck up Spectres is a one-way ticket back to crazy town, not to mention the lack of sweet, delicious, usable Heavenly Energy, which may or may not be Blobbys excrement. As much as I like unlocking new combos and free power ups, its not worth dealing with all the murderous, unchecked rage which means I need Blobby back if I want to become stronger in a reasonable time frame.Updated from novelbIn.(c)om
With the Defiled knocking on our doorstep, I doubt we have two years, much less ten. All hell is about to break loose but the Legate is more interested in keeping the people calm with fake news and a public spectacle with the whole dog and pony show of a Conference. We should be building walls and shoring up our defences but instead were all sitting around with our thumbs up our asses and waiting for the Legate to call our names so we can prove our fealty to the Empire with a nice fancy gift.
Having recently discovered how annoying carrying something around can be, I elect to climb onto Ping Pings shell instead of letting her hold me in her arm. Glancing back to check if Im ready, Ping Ping dives down with unbridled glee, hurtling through the water so fast I almost lose my grip. Reaching the bottom in an instant, the giant turtle waves her legs to disturb the sandy sea floor and snaps up a hidden creature, a large, burrowed fish of some sort. Bringing it back to the surface, she gobbles up her meal in dainty little chomps, taking her time to relish the taste as I laugh on her shell. Theres nothing like catching a ride through the bay on Ping Ping, feeling the surge of water rushing past your face and the pressure building up in your ears as thousands of kilograms of water crushes you in its embrace, and then... she surfaces and youre free of it all, gulping down lungfuls of air as the warm sun shines on your skin, giddy with relief and euphoria.
Its almost enough to make me forget my problems. Almost.
After a few more trips to the bay floor, it becomes apparent Ping Ping is just having fun, her belly full and mood playful as she shows me her undersea world. Saddened to put an end to her fun, I pat her neck and point at the skiff, indicating its time to head back. Spiralling around in protest, she heads for the boat at a slow, underwater glide, moping like a child as play time comes to an end. Using Aura to console her, I mentally make note to bring her out more in the days to come, because she deserves to have fun too. It cant be easy lugging around all that weight on land, and I bet she feels three times lighter in the water.
Immersed in my thoughts as we drift towards the skiff from below, a small flash of movement catches my eye. Its so minor I almost miss it, but as Ping Ping meanders closer and closer, the movements become more pronounced. Its as if a piece of the boat was fluid and slowly oozing away as we approach, trying to keep the bulk of the boat between us. Curiosity piqued, I use Ping Ping as a springboard and swim over to the fluid patch, keeping a respectable distance between us. The patch stills and blends into the skiffs siding, so well hidden Im almost certain itll disappear if I even blink. Using the butte of my new weapon, I give the strange patch a gentle poke -
-And almost shit myself when it comes to life in spray of darkness and tentacles.
Racing for the surface, I sputter and gasp while lifting whatever attacked me into the air, almost gutting myself on the sharp blade tip. Blinking the water out of my eyes, I identify my attacker as a brown, spotted tentacled-miscreation about the size of a pumpkin, all soft and gooey as it attempts to rip my weapon apart. Luckily, Unity has been bound and is almost indestructible, but even if it werent, this pint-sized octopus poses no threat. Drawn by my flailing movements, Ping Ping circles around the skiff to see if Im okay, her eyes fixating on the creature stuck to the end of my weapon. Opening her mouth, she fires out a ball of water and stuns the beast unconscious with a single shot. Dropping with a splash, the creature floats in place, rendered motionless and defenceless by Ping Pings might.
Inwardly shuddering at the ugly, tentacled horror, I prod it a few more times before Im certain it wont attack. Might as well give it to Ping Ping for a snack. Wait, Taduk yells, leaning dangerously over the side of the skiff to inspect the octopus. Give it here.
Following his gestures, I see Mama Bun struggling to get out of Guard Leaders embrace, eagerly eyeing the floating octopus. Uhh... Teacher, this isnt a mobile plant, its an octopus...
Dont be silly, I know its not a plant. Bring it up here so I can take a look, Taduk says, reaching his grabby hands like a child for a toy.
Reluctant to touch the gross, slimy creature, I swallow my revulsion and lift it out of the water, warning my teacher to be careful. I dont think its dead yet, but if we keep it out of water long enough, it will be soon enough.
With a non-committal grunt, Taduk drags the octopus into the skiff and Mama Bun explodes into a flurry of motion. Slipping out of Guard Leaders grasp, the long-eared floof tackles the poor unconscious octopus and dives into the tangle of tentacles to root about for her long awaited prize. Much to her dismay, Taduk is one step ahead of her and fishes out a fuzzy green stone a little larger than his fist and holds it up high with a rousing cry of victory. Unwilling to capitulate, Mama Bun leaps into the air after it, her silky white fur stained in black ink and slime while her teeth chomp with unrestrained hunger.
Ewie... shes gonna stink like octopus for days...
Chapter Meme
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Chapter 329
No one ever mentions the inconvenience of carrying a pole-arm around. You cant just lay it down whenever you feel like because someone might trip over it, and you cant put it aside because if a weapon is out of reach when shit goes down, then its utterly useless. Keep in mind, here, in this world, shit is always about to go down, which means you want your weapons close to hand at all times. Another thing I never realized is how tiring itd be lugging this twenty kilogram monstrosity of a weapon around. Its not the heaviest pole-arm Ive seen, but Im not exactly buffy mc bufferson either, and after a few short hours of keeping it close, my forearms are screaming at the strain.
Then theres the mental stress which comes from worrying if Im going to accidentally impale or garrote someone by moving too quickly, which means checking and double checking my surroundings whenever I want to sit or stretch, or thanking the Mother no one was hurt when I forget to. Ive only had Unity for a few hours but Ive already had a couple close calls, mostly with my oh-so-adorable fur babies and most recently with Blackjack. When not cuddling with Mama Bun, the little cloud chaser hare loves having a birds eye view, so the first thing Blackjack did this morning was crawl up my shirt and hop onto Unitys cross-guard to lord over the surroundings. Adorable and harmless I thought, until I forgot Blackjack was up there and decided to give my new weapon a flashy twirl. Needless to say, the little black hare is very upset about the impromptu flying lesson and glaring at me from his (or her, still cant tell) perch atop Ping Pings head. Okay, maybe not glaring since bunnies and hares always look adorably angry, but the point still stands.
Glancing around to make sure no one is watching, I lean over and give Aurie a vigorous head scratching, my heart melting at his sweet kitty smile. Nothing wrong here, just a perfectly masculine and heroic young man bonding with his ferocious battle cat. Whos my furocious little battle kitty? You are Aurie, yes you are. Sitting lazily in the grass, Aurie leans against my hip and rumbles in delight while Jimjam sulks at the side. Somehow, I think he sees himself as a consummate predator and finds immense self satisfaction from hunting his own meals. Not letting him steal a bite has injured his pride but my grouchiest of floofs needs to learn boundaries.
Dont kneel and hug him. Just dont. Thats a gateway cuddle and next thing you know youll be covered in floofs and giggling like a schoolgirl. Jimjam is playing you, he knows his whole surly brooding shtick never fails to earn him a boop and a treat. Stay strong and dont give in. No matter how fluffy and adorable your fur babies are, you cannot hug and kiss them in public like you used to. You have an image to maintain, because when image does not match reputation, people tend to believe what they see over what they hear. No more public displays of floof affection. That was the old Falling Rain. Today, youll show the Empire the new and improved Falling Rain, with 50% fewer voices in his head.
My heart pangs with grief and I remind myself its too soon for those sort of jokes. Its one thing to say Baledagh is still here with me and another to actually believe it. With my two betrothed having absconded back to bed, Id normally go cuddle with my fur-babies to cheer up, but new me has to settle for a friendly pat. Maintaining my public image is the worst, but theres too much riding on it to behave otherwise. Everyones been telling me this for years to stop being so weird and if Bulats ridiculously expensive bar-crawl taught me anything, its that rumours spread like wildfire and proof is irrelevant. All it takes is for one drunk hillbilly to make an off-colour joke and by the next morning, the whole Empire will think Im some sort of bear-shagging pervert or worse. Seriously, its scary how easily Bulat convinced all of Nan Ping the shark attack was a deliberate attack. Apparently, while I was busy Awakening in the water, the city turned into a powder keg of unrest and animosity, a stones throw away from open conflict between nobles and commoners.
All over little old me. Its flattering really.
The nobles have no one to blame but themselves for all the underlying hostility. I doubt the commoners would have flocked to my cause so readily if the nobles behaved like decent human beings and treated everyone with respect and dignity. I like to believe people are inherently good, but the more I see of the world, the harder it gets to maintain that belief. Since his outing into Nan Ping, Bulats new drinking buddies/unsuspecting informants have provided a steady stream of news regarding scandals and gossip, some of which makes my skin crawl. Profiteering, exploitation, and blackmail are only the tip of the iceberg and things get worse from there.
Honestly, its a miracle the commoners havent burned Nan Ping to the ground in a fit of righteous fury.
Martial Warriors only make up 1% of the population, so if commoners stand together, Im not sure theres much the nobles could do. Slaughter the leaders and force the rest to work I guess, but in a world of swords and arrows, force multipliers are few and far between. Whats more, its not like Martial Warriors can be alert every second of every day. You only need one torch to set fire to a granary or one stone to start an avalanche. I wouldnt mind holding that torch either, something needs to change. After all the raised tempers and exposed secrets, in the end, nothing happened. The only thing we accomplished was outing the Legate as an unreliable supporter, which wasnt exactly surprising. I suppose it also quashed all the nasty talk about how I went swimming with a scarf wrapped around my crotch, which I supposed makes it worth the astronomical price tag. Id be happier if I knew who tried to have me killed via shark-pack, but at least whoever it was hasnt made a second attempt.
Yet.
With Peace on my hip, Tranquility hanging from my shoulder, Unity in my grasp, and a helmet (stuffed with what I think is modified Demon Ichor) under my arm, I stand bare-chested in my swimming trunks on the shores of Nan Ping Bay. The deceptively calm surface is aglow in the morning light, the rising sun casting an orange-red hue across the crystal clear waters. The beauty is lost on me as I hunt for hidden dangers and crafty vegetables, praying my mobile plant theory holds water and Im not barking up the wrong tree. I told Akanai, Mila, Taduk, and Guard Leader my suspicions and none of them outright laughed, but they didnt exactly look confident either.
Okay, so Im grasping at straws here, but what else am I supposed to do? I know Ping Ping can sense Blobby because thats how she found me in the first place, but she doesnt seem to care Ive lost it and still refuses to leave my side. Its entirely possible Blobby just got sick of listening to me talk to myself and left, but I cant give up and move on. Without Blobbys purification powers, using my Talent (sigh) to suck up Spectres is a one-way ticket back to crazy town, not to mention the lack of sweet, delicious, usable Heavenly Energy, which may or may not be Blobbys excrement. As much as I like unlocking new combos and free power ups, its not worth dealing with all the murderous, unchecked rage which means I need Blobby back if I want to become stronger in a reasonable time frame.Updated from novelbIn.(c)om
With the Defiled knocking on our doorstep, I doubt we have two years, much less ten. All hell is about to break loose but the Legate is more interested in keeping the people calm with fake news and a public spectacle with the whole dog and pony show of a Conference. We should be building walls and shoring up our defences but instead were all sitting around with our thumbs up our asses and waiting for the Legate to call our names so we can prove our fealty to the Empire with a nice fancy gift.
Having recently discovered how annoying carrying something around can be, I elect to climb onto Ping Pings shell instead of letting her hold me in her arm. Glancing back to check if Im ready, Ping Ping dives down with unbridled glee, hurtling through the water so fast I almost lose my grip. Reaching the bottom in an instant, the giant turtle waves her legs to disturb the sandy sea floor and snaps up a hidden creature, a large, burrowed fish of some sort. Bringing it back to the surface, she gobbles up her meal in dainty little chomps, taking her time to relish the taste as I laugh on her shell. Theres nothing like catching a ride through the bay on Ping Ping, feeling the surge of water rushing past your face and the pressure building up in your ears as thousands of kilograms of water crushes you in its embrace, and then... she surfaces and youre free of it all, gulping down lungfuls of air as the warm sun shines on your skin, giddy with relief and euphoria.
Its almost enough to make me forget my problems. Almost.
After a few more trips to the bay floor, it becomes apparent Ping Ping is just having fun, her belly full and mood playful as she shows me her undersea world. Saddened to put an end to her fun, I pat her neck and point at the skiff, indicating its time to head back. Spiralling around in protest, she heads for the boat at a slow, underwater glide, moping like a child as play time comes to an end. Using Aura to console her, I mentally make note to bring her out more in the days to come, because she deserves to have fun too. It cant be easy lugging around all that weight on land, and I bet she feels three times lighter in the water.
Immersed in my thoughts as we drift towards the skiff from below, a small flash of movement catches my eye. Its so minor I almost miss it, but as Ping Ping meanders closer and closer, the movements become more pronounced. Its as if a piece of the boat was fluid and slowly oozing away as we approach, trying to keep the bulk of the boat between us. Curiosity piqued, I use Ping Ping as a springboard and swim over to the fluid patch, keeping a respectable distance between us. The patch stills and blends into the skiffs siding, so well hidden Im almost certain itll disappear if I even blink. Using the butte of my new weapon, I give the strange patch a gentle poke -
-And almost shit myself when it comes to life in spray of darkness and tentacles.
Racing for the surface, I sputter and gasp while lifting whatever attacked me into the air, almost gutting myself on the sharp blade tip. Blinking the water out of my eyes, I identify my attacker as a brown, spotted tentacled-miscreation about the size of a pumpkin, all soft and gooey as it attempts to rip my weapon apart. Luckily, Unity has been bound and is almost indestructible, but even if it werent, this pint-sized octopus poses no threat. Drawn by my flailing movements, Ping Ping circles around the skiff to see if Im okay, her eyes fixating on the creature stuck to the end of my weapon. Opening her mouth, she fires out a ball of water and stuns the beast unconscious with a single shot. Dropping with a splash, the creature floats in place, rendered motionless and defenceless by Ping Pings might.
Inwardly shuddering at the ugly, tentacled horror, I prod it a few more times before Im certain it wont attack. Might as well give it to Ping Ping for a snack. Wait, Taduk yells, leaning dangerously over the side of the skiff to inspect the octopus. Give it here.
Following his gestures, I see Mama Bun struggling to get out of Guard Leaders embrace, eagerly eyeing the floating octopus. Uhh... Teacher, this isnt a mobile plant, its an octopus...
Dont be silly, I know its not a plant. Bring it up here so I can take a look, Taduk says, reaching his grabby hands like a child for a toy.
Reluctant to touch the gross, slimy creature, I swallow my revulsion and lift it out of the water, warning my teacher to be careful. I dont think its dead yet, but if we keep it out of water long enough, it will be soon enough.
With a non-committal grunt, Taduk drags the octopus into the skiff and Mama Bun explodes into a flurry of motion. Slipping out of Guard Leaders grasp, the long-eared floof tackles the poor unconscious octopus and dives into the tangle of tentacles to root about for her long awaited prize. Much to her dismay, Taduk is one step ahead of her and fishes out a fuzzy green stone a little larger than his fist and holds it up high with a rousing cry of victory. Unwilling to capitulate, Mama Bun leaps into the air after it, her silky white fur stained in black ink and slime while her teeth chomp with unrestrained hunger.
Ewie... shes gonna stink like octopus for days...
Chapter Meme
Chapter 329No one ever mentions the inconvenience of carrying a pole-arm around. You cant just lay it down whenever you feel like because someone might trip over it, and you cant put it aside because if a weapon is out of reach when shit goes down, then its utterly useless. Keep in mind, here, in this world, shit is always about to go down, which means you want your weapons close to hand at all times. Another thing I never realized is how tiring itd be lugging this twenty kilogram monstrosity of a weapon around. Its not the heaviest pole-arm Ive seen, but Im not exactly buffy mc bufferson either, and after a few short hours of keeping it close, my forearms are screaming at the strain.Then theres the mental stress which comes from worrying if Im going to accidentally impale or garrote someone by moving too quickly, which means checking and double checking my surroundings whenever I want to sit or stretch, or thanking the Mother no one was hurt when I forget to. Ive only had Unity for a few hours but Ive already had a couple close calls, mostly with my oh-so-adorable fur babies and most recently with Blackjack. When not cuddling with Mama Bun, the little cloud chaser hare loves having a birds eye view, so the first thing Blackjack did this morning was crawl up my shirt and hop onto Unitys cross-guard to lord over the surroundings. Adorable and harmless I thought, until I forgot Blackjack was up there and decided to give my new weapon a flashy twirl. Needless to say, the little black hare is very upset about the impromptu flying lesson and glaring at me from his or her, still cant tell perch atop Ping Pings head. Okay, maybe not glaring since bunnies and hares always look adorably angry, but the point still stands.Glancing around to make sure no one is watching, I lean over and give Aurie a vigorous head scratching, my heart melting at his sweet kitty smile. Nothing wrong here, just a perfectly masculine and heroic young man bonding with his ferocious battle cat. Whos my furocious little battle kitty? You are Aurie, yes you are. Sitting lazily in the grass, Aurie leans against my hip and rumbles in delight while Jimjam sulks at the side. Somehow, I think he sees himself as a consummate predator and finds immense self satisfaction from hunting his own meals. Not letting him steal a bite has injured his pride but my grouchiest of floofs needs to learn boundaries.Dont kneel and hug him. Just dont. Thats a gateway cuddle and next thing you know youll be covered in floofs and giggling like a schoolgirl. Jimjam is playing you, he knows his whole surly brooding shtick never fails to earn him a boop and a treat. Stay strong and dont give in. No matter how fluffy and adorable your fur babies are, you cannot hug and kiss them in public like you used to. You have an image to maintain, because when image does not match reputation, people tend to believe what they see over what they hear. No more public displays of floof affection. That was the old Falling Rain. Today, youll show the Empire the new and improved Falling Rain, with 50% fewer voices in his head.My heart pangs with grief and I remind myself its too soon for those sort of jokes. Its one thing to say Baledagh is still here with me and another to actually believe it. With my two betrothed having absconded back to bed, Id normally go cuddle with my fur-babies to cheer up, but new me has to settle for a friendly pat. Maintaining my public image is the worst, but theres too much riding on it to behave otherwise. Everyones been telling me this for years to stop being so weird and if Bulats ridiculously expensive bar-crawl taught me anything, its that rumours spread like wildfire and proof is irrelevant. All it takes is for one drunk hillbilly to make an off-colour joke and by the next morning, the whole Empire will think Im some sort of bear-shagging pervert or worse. Seriously, its scary how easily Bulat convinced all of Nan Ping the shark attack was a deliberate attack. Apparently, while I was busy Awakening in the water, the city turned into a powder keg of unrest and animosity, a stones throw away from open conflict between nobles and commoners.All over little old me. Its flattering really.The nobles have no one to blame but themselves for all the underlying hostility. I doubt the commoners would have flocked to my cause so readily if the nobles behaved like decent human beings and treated everyone with respect and dignity. I like to believe people are inherently good, but the more I see of the world, the harder it gets to maintain that belief. Since his outing into Nan Ping, Bulats new drinking buddies/unsuspecting informants have provided a steady stream of news regarding scandals and gossip, some of which makes my skin crawl. Profiteering, exploitation, and blackmail are only the tip of the iceberg and things get worse from there.Honestly, its a miracle the commoners havent burned Nan Ping to the ground in a fit of righteous fury.Martial Warriors only make up 1% of the population, so if commoners stand together, Im not sure theres much the nobles could do. Slaughter the leaders and force the rest to work I guess, but in a world of swords and arrows, force multipliers are few and far between. Whats more, its not like Martial Warriors can be alert every second of every day. You only need one torch to set fire to a granary or one stone to start an avalanche. I wouldnt mind holding that torch either, something needs to change. After all the raised tempers and exposed secrets, in the end, nothing happened. The only thing we accomplished was outing the Legate as an unreliable supporter, which wasnt exactly surprising. I suppose it also quashed all the nasty talk about how I went swimming with a scarf wrapped around my crotch, which I supposed makes it worth the astronomical price tag. Id be happier if I knew who tried to have me killed via shark-pack, but at least whoever it was hasnt made a second attempt.Yet.With Peace on my hip, Tranquility hanging from my shoulder, Unity in my grasp, and a helmet stuffed with what I think is modified Demon Ichor under my arm, I stand bare-chested in my swimming trunks on the shores of Nan Ping Bay. The deceptively calm surface is aglow in the morning light, the rising sun casting an orange-red hue across the crystal clear waters. The beauty is lost on me as I hunt for hidden dangers and crafty vegetables, praying my mobile plant theory holds water and Im not barking up the wrong tree. I told Akanai, Mila, Taduk, and Guard Leader my suspicions and none of them outright laughed, but they didnt exactly look confident either.Okay, so Im grasping at straws here, but what else am I supposed to do? I know Ping Ping can sense Blobby because thats how she found me in the first place, but she doesnt seem to care Ive lost it and still refuses to leave my side. Its entirely possible Blobby just got sick of listening to me talk to myself and left, but I cant give up and move on. Without Blobbys purification powers, using my Talent sigh to suck up Spectres is a one-way ticket back to crazy town, not to mention the lack of sweet, delicious, usable Heavenly Energy, which may or may not be Blobbys excrement. As much as I like unlocking new combos and free power ups, its not worth dealing with all the murderous, unchecked rage which means I need Blobby back if I want to become stronger in a reasonable time frame.Updated from novelbIn.comWith the Defiled knocking on our doorstep, I doubt we have two years, much less ten. All hell is about to break loose but the Legate is more interested in keeping the people calm with fake news and a public spectacle with the whole dog and pony show of a Conference. We should be building walls and shoring up our defences but instead were all sitting around with our thumbs up our asses and waiting for the Legate to call our names so we can prove our fealty to the Empire with a nice fancy gift.Having recently discovered how annoying carrying something around can be, I elect to climb onto Ping Pings shell instead of letting her hold me in her arm. Glancing back to check if Im ready, Ping Ping dives down with unbridled glee, hurtling through the water so fast I almost lose my grip. Reaching the bottom in an instant, the giant turtle waves her legs to disturb the sandy sea floor and snaps up a hidden creature, a large, burrowed fish of some sort. Bringing it back to the surface, she gobbles up her meal in dainty little chomps, taking her time to relish the taste as I laugh on her shell. Theres nothing like catching a ride through the bay on Ping Ping, feeling the surge of water rushing past your face and the pressure building up in your ears as thousands of kilograms of water crushes you in its embrace, and then... she surfaces and youre free of it all, gulping down lungfuls of air as the warm sun shines on your skin, giddy with relief and euphoria.Its almost enough to make me forget my problems. Almost.After a few more trips to the bay floor, it becomes apparent Ping Ping is just having fun, her belly full and mood playful as she shows me her undersea world. Saddened to put an end to her fun, I pat her neck and point at the skiff, indicating its time to head back. Spiralling around in protest, she heads for the boat at a slow, underwater glide, moping like a child as play time comes to an end. Using Aura to console her, I mentally make note to bring her out more in the days to come, because she deserves to have fun too. It cant be easy lugging around all that weight on land, and I bet she feels three times lighter in the water.Immersed in my thoughts as we drift towards the skiff from below, a small flash of movement catches my eye. Its so minor I almost miss it, but as Ping Ping meanders closer and closer, the movements become more pronounced. Its as if a piece of the boat was fluid and slowly oozing away as we approach, trying to keep the bulk of the boat between us. Curiosity piqued, I use Ping Ping as a springboard and swim over to the fluid patch, keeping a respectable distance between us. The patch stills and blends into the skiffs siding, so well hidden Im almost certain itll disappear if I even blink. Using the butte of my new weapon, I give the strange patch a gentle poke --And almost shit myself when it comes to life in spray of darkness and tentacles.Racing for the surface, I sputter and gasp while lifting whatever attacked me into the air, almost gutting myself on the sharp blade tip. Blinking the water out of my eyes, I identify my attacker as a brown, spotted tentacled-miscreation about the size of a pumpkin, all soft and gooey as it attempts to rip my weapon apart. Luckily, Unity has been bound and is almost indestructible, but even if it werent, this pint-sized octopus poses no threat. Drawn by my flailing movements, Ping Ping circles around the skiff to see if Im okay, her eyes fixating on the creature stuck to the end of my weapon. Opening her mouth, she fires out a ball of water and stuns the beast unconscious with a single shot. Dropping with a splash, the creature floats in place, rendered motionless and defenceless by Ping Pings might.Inwardly shuddering at the ugly, tentacled horror, I prod it a few more times before Im certain it wont attack. Might as well give it to Ping Ping for a snack. Wait, Taduk yells, leaning dangerously over the side of the skiff to inspect the octopus. Give it here.Following his gestures, I see Mama Bun struggling to get out of Guard Leaders embrace, eagerly eyeing the floating octopus. Uhh... Teacher, this isnt a mobile plant, its an octopus...Dont be silly, I know its not a plant. Bring it up here so I can take a look, Taduk says, reaching his grabby hands like a child for a toy.Reluctant to touch the gross, slimy creature, I swallow my revulsion and lift it out of the water, warning my teacher to be careful. I dont think its dead yet, but if we keep it out of water long enough, it will be soon enough.With a non-committal grunt, Taduk drags the octopus into the skiff and Mama Bun explodes into a flurry of motion. Slipping out of Guard Leaders grasp, the long-eared floof tackles the poor unconscious octopus and dives into the tangle of tentacles to root about for her long awaited prize. Much to her dismay, Taduk is one step ahead of her and fishes out a fuzzy green stone a little larger than his fist and holds it up high with a rousing cry of victory. Unwilling to capitulate, Mama Bun leaps into the air after it, her silky white fur stained in black ink and slime while her teeth chomp with unrestrained hunger.Ewie... shes gonna stink like octopus for days...Chapter Meme
