Chapter 621
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Chapter 621
I dont like to brag, but I consider myself something of a savant when it comes to pissing people off.
What can I say? Its a gift, one Ive honed to perfection completely by accident. I dont actively aim to anger people all the time, it just happens naturally as a response to my actions, which usually are done without ulterior motive. Demand kowtows from a lost bet? Totally justified. Being passive aggressive about someone showing up late to the fight? Entirely understandable. Rolling my eyes because I cant stand the sheer stupidity spewing out of someones mouth? Absolutely unavoidable. Its not my fault people are so thin-skinned and lose their shit over nothing, so Ive had to overcompensate by carefully considering my every action to ensure no offence is given. Its not very effective because I often forget to think before I act, and other times I forget the rules are different in this shitty death world and default back to society as I know it, often to disastrous result.
In this specific scenario, my inquisitive curiosity is to blame for my inadvertent insult, as I turn away from the smug smiling, tea sipping, power-posing Zhen Shi to explore the boundaries of this seamless white room. At first glance the alabaster cosmos seems to stretch on to infinity, with no horizon or landmarks to discern direction, but I soon realize that no matter which way I turn, Zhen Shi is always sitting at the edge of my peripheral vision, just sort of looming there all threateningly. If I try to focus on something else and turn away, he disappears and reappears on the opposite side, as if were standing on a tiny globe and I have close to three-hundred and sixty degrees of vision that can also bend around the surface of this small planet.
Okay, the physics doesnt really work, but this isnt the real world and the same rules dont apply.
Cognizant of this fact and how Zhen Shis masked displeasure grows with every second I ignore him, I crouch and poke the ground, but there is no resistance. My finger just plunges past my ankles as if Im standing on solid air that only affects my bare feet. Hoping Im not naked, I check my clothes and find myself swaddled in saggy rags, sack brown and utilitarian as can be complete with rope belt and chafing fabric, but it covers all the important bits and thats all that matters. Closing my eyes, I set off in a random direction and count my steps to see how far I can go. A hundred steps later, I open my eyes and find Zhen Shi still hovering at the edge of my vision, his teacup in hand and perfectly poised to show how identical it is to Moms tea set. Struck by a stray thought, I undo my belt and hold one end while flinging the other end as far right as I can, wondering if Ill catch a glimpse of it on the left, but alas, nothing comes of it. This means my trippy, tiny planet theory is probably wrong and Zhen Shi is just actively keeping himself in the corner of my eyes, which is actually kind of funny. As far as I can tell, everything about him is carefully engineered to put himself in a position of power, from his lofty aerial perch and regal golden robes, to the subtle threat of the tea set and foreboding continued silence.
Honestly though? It feels like hes just trying too hard, especially since hes floating in mid air. A pedestal or something mightve been better, as well as a more impressive throne, but I think he was worried I wouldnt notice something as subtle as a single teacup and included the whole kit and kaboodle to ensure his message got across. He even got the smell right this time, which he left out in his last illusion, so hes improving as he goes, but hes pushing all the wrong buttons if he wants to scare me. Oh no, he knows where I am and is watching me closely, oooohhh so spooky. Its almost been a year since Ive known true privacy, maybe even longer, and I recently powered through not one, but two wedding nights knowing I probably had Concealed guards waiting in earshot. Watch all you want, Mister Ghost Man, because I dont care about voyeurs anymore.
Well, thats not true. If Zhen Shi showed up as a naked old man with wrinkly dick in hand over an image of me and my wives, I dont think I could ever run away fast enough...This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com
Truth be told, the biggest reason why Zhen Shis presence doesnt really alarm me is because of all the problems Im dealing with right now, this war with the Defiled actually ranks pretty low on the list. There are five Colonel Generals who are all far more qualified than I to lead the Imperial Army, and my job is mostly just to okay their plans and make sure the Marshals come up with the requisite supplies. I only vetoed Nian Zus idea to launch a massive counterattack because I thought the massive risks far outweighed the marginal rewards. The outer provinces are merely the appetizer to his main course, the Imperial Clan in the East, and our soldiers make for the perfect whetstone to hone his newly turned Chosen. Granted, this should motivate me to go for a decisive blow and set the Defiled back, but while the numbers are not in our favour, time is. With the Western Province as his sole foothold in the Empire, Zhen Shis resources are sorely limited since the west is only rich in stuff like gold, silver, copper, coal, salt, and gemstones. Valuable, yes, but only in trade, and weve successfully stamped out most smuggling enterprises in the last year. I have Situ Rang Min to thank for that in the North, while Marshal Quyen Huong locked things down in the South, and Centrals flat landscapes and the heavy military presence at the Western Wall makes it virtually impossible for any smugglers to make it through unseen. This means the Enemy is starved of vital resources, namely iron, stone, and timber, all of which Zhen Shi needs to craft weapons, armour, wagons, and more.
Also food, but considering the Defiled diet consists primarily of other Defiled, I doubt empty bellies are much of a concern. Regardless, Zhen Shi will eventually run out of equipment for his Chosen of Heaven, Runic or otherwise, which means the size of his army is limited. Whats more, while the Defiled have some means to craft their own version of Spiritual Weapons, Ive noticed the Chosen dont use Spiritual Weapons at all. I never really thought about it until a few days ago when I saw Goujian abandon his sword in the fight against Binesi and Han BoHai, but I checked and there is no report of any Chosen using a Spiritual Weapon on the battlefield. Runic armour a plenty, and a few carry Defiled armaments, but Spiritual Weapons? Zilch.
The significance of this discovery escapes me, but its something to keep in mind, and it all leads to the same conclusion. Time is on the Empires side, because while we would eventually lose a war of attrition, the odds are currently in our favour. We hold the defensive advantage and the Enemy isnt using their advantage of numbers, so theres no point doing anything different. If the Defiled group up and force their way through the Western Wall, then wed be in trouble, but so long as they are content to throw themselves piecemeal on the walled forts of the second line, then it behooves us to be patient and wait. Were bleeding soldiers, but the overall numbers are looking good, especially now that Hongji and other Central officers have embraced the power of the catapult. Being a pragmatic sort, the Northern soldiers have been using these weapons of war since the beginning, and have no qualms about picking up a crossbow to plunk away at the Defiled hordes, because the only good Defiled is a dead Defiled, and northerners are happy to kill Defiled in any way possible.
Its still shameful to rely on a ranged weapon in battle, but we Northerners are a pragmatic bunch.
Theres simply no benefit to the Empire if we go on the offensives, and its clear the Enemy forces are in place to turn any counter-attack into a trap. Its a textbook bait and switch, and even though I said as much and played out every possible action for my war council to see, they still refused to believe the Defiled would act as I expected, in a calm and intelligent fashion. Theyre too used to seeing the Enemy as a canny beast, dangerous if approached unprepared, but also utterly incapable of utilizing proper tactics. Granted the Defiled havent really shown the ability to do so yet, aside from a few probing test battles from Chosen Generals who have only recently taken the field, but I know the true mastermind behind the Defiled is Zhen Shi, who is more capable than any of us can imagine.
Not this Zhen Shi, floating high above me and sipping his tea. No, this is most definitely the fake, inferior version, because there is no way an eight-hundred year old psychopath would ever be this transparent. The real Zhen Shi is the one who engineered the trap on the second lines, hammering the centre hard while sandbagging on both flanks to put out this tempting bait, which would lead to disastrous results if Nian Zu and Shuai Jiao had their way. While a long and drawn out war would be perfect for tempering his Chosen, hes still losing soldiers and equipment, so it would be even better if he could score a resounding victory over the Imperial forces in the field. Not only would he strike a grievous blow against the morale of the Empire, possibly causing South, North, or even Central soldiers to desert or turncoat, he could also capture more capable Imperial soldiers to win over to his side.
I assume this is how Zhen Shi is getting most of his Chosen of Heaven, using Gens Oration to make them susceptible to Spectres, but Im curious to know why Imperials dont do the same thing in reverse. Its been a long time since Sanshu and Ive learned that Oration is not a Talent, but an actual Chi skill, one I inadvertently use when my emotions are high. More importantly, Shen ZhenWu used Oration in Nan Ping, and may have used it a few times more since, though I havent been keeping track, so why doesnt he just... I dunno, go around city to city and boost morale with a rousing speech? Patriotism would be the perfect weapon to wield against the Spectres and their whispered lies, and if he feels the task beneath him, Im sure there are other Imperial Scions with the ability to Orate who could fill in. Instead, we have all these festivals and celebrations to keep spirits high, which is both expensive and possibly ineffective, though I dont have any facts to prove it either way.
I dunno, it just seems weird that no one thought of this before me. Then again, I could be missing critical information and Oration cant be used like that for some obvious reason which makes perfect sense, but Im too stupid to figure out. Oration is pretty much Aura except through speech, so why is regular Aura so restricted in its use, but Oration so versatile, able to share what I felt over losing Qing Qing with everyone in Sinuji? Also, whats the deal with Luo-Luos music and where does it sit on the scale? I hate being the only person asking these questions, mostly because I cant go anywhere else for answers. Shen ZhenWu and any other Imperial Scion would demand an Oath of servitude the moment Im able to give one, and while the Brotherhood might be amenable to answering my questions, I cant get in touch with any of its members. Wugang, a former initiate and current member of Gang Shus band of bandits, has no idea how to contact the Brotherhood anymore, because after Vyakhya renounced the Abbot and broke off to join Zhen Shi, every monk in the Empire either returned to the Arid Wastes or defected to the Defiled.
Well... there is one place I could go to for answers, and hes conveniently right here...
Had I known about the Brotherhoods internal conflict at the time, I mightve been less confrontational with the Abbot and maybe gone to visit a monastery, but its too late now. I dont even know if hes still alive, though at least Gang Shu is recovering from his injuries, albeit slowly and still in hiding. According to Lei Gong, his boss is staying hidden because he cant risk being seen injured and ailing by any Ancestral Beast, regardless of their allegiance, because the urge to kill a wounded rival is just too overwhelming to resist. Human Divinitys arent driven by instinct, but we humans are a treacherous bunch, so I cant blame Gang Shu for not wanting to be found.
Its kind of sad how troubled Ancestral Beasts are, driven by instinct yet cursed with the knowledge and ability to rise above it. The struggle is there for their entire life, and like regular humans, Ancestral Beasts appear to deal with it in different ways, like poor Guan Suo who never truly came to grips with his bestial instincts and still wanted to love his children, while others like Zhu Chanzui dont even bother trying to understand human nature, much less accept it. For the life of me, I cant imagine how I would fare in their place, to hold a beautiful child, my child, and feel an almost irresistible urge to end their suffering with my own hands.
And as an added cruel joke, they live so long they get to forget, try again, fail, and re-experience all the pain anew. Nature is brutal, but this is almost too much...
Only now do I realize Ive just been standing around and pondering in silence while Zhen Shi glowers at the side, though I have no idea how long its been since I arrived here. Usually, I have some general gist of seconds and minutes because Im subconsciously tracking my breaths and heartbeats, but I dont need to breathe and dont have a heart here in the Void. Im a Natal Soul, or a Spiritual entity, with no need for blood or oxygen, and this awareness throws me for a loop as I struggle to remember what it feels like to be alive. What sensation does a beating heart give off? How do I draw air into my lungs and expel it out again? Have I been blinking? If theres nothing below my feet and nothing above my head, how am I keeping track of up and down?
Stuck in a downward spiral of self realization, I struggle for calm and Balance, but all the breathing exercises in the world wont help me if I dont remember how to breathe. My first thought is to panic and seek help, like a man drowning in the ocean and flailing about for anything to grab onto, but I stop short as the world comes into focus and I find myself face to foot with Zhen Shi, with my outstretched hand only scant inches away from taking hold of his. This was his doing, an assault on my emotions after his initial power-posing failed to bear fruit, a means to put me at a disadvantage to do... what exactly? To take my hand? Why? No, its not the act of contact that matters here, or else hed just reach out and grab me, but instead, he sits impatiently and waits for me to take his hand. Again... why? What purpose does this serve? Its not like either of us are really here, were just two Spiritual entities meeting in another plane of existence.
Thinking back on all my experiences in the Void with Natal Palaces and Natal Souls, one parallel immediately springs to mind, and that is my relationship with Baledagh. I was both Warrior and Brother, and even though the Warrior was the stronger of the two, the Brother was always dominant, even when dormant. Baledagh was always the submissive personality, even when I suspected he was my bodys original soul and relied on his strength, because I always identified more with Brother. To this day, that is who I see myself as, the scared, otherworldly personality thrust into an unfamiliar situation, while Baledagh was the native warrior born to this world. Mahakala showed me I was both Brother and Baledagh, but Im still primarily Brother all the time, with hints of Baledagh only showing itself in times of duress, like when Big Poppa Piggy showed up in the Citadel. How is this any different from having a split personality? I dont even talk to myself less, I just stopped crafting a dialogue between two personalities and monologue my way through all my problems.
Youre right to say nature is cruel and merciless, but you must not have been listening when I spoke with Zhu Chanzui. Gesturing at the animals depicted on my Runic armour, I explain, We humans are beasts, but we have the potential to be so much more, and it is in aspiring to greatness that we elevate ourselves above the wolf and sheep. You say I am weak because I refuse to give in to temptation, but I call you weak for succumbing to it. Do you even remember why you started down this path?
To overthrow the Dog Emperor, Gen Shi snarls, his expression one I can only describe as violence personified, And cleanse away the weakness of the human race.
To what end? Seeing his confusion, I clarify, Why did you want to rid the human race of weakness? Was it not so we could defeat the Defiled?
Defiled, hmph. Ignoring the question, Gen Shi snorts in derision. Another lie perpetrated by the Empire. The so called Defiled are merely the other side of the coin, for too much is as bad as not enough. The razors edge, that is this Sovereigns Path, and with it, I will raze this world clean of all...
Its sad how easy it is to set Gen Shi off, the cracks in his facade clearer than ever as he refuses to acknowledge the question, because he doesnt know the answer. This isnt really Zhen Shi, or an amalgamation of Zhen Shi and Gen, this is just Gen deluding himself into believing as much after being given just enough information to make it seem real. The real Zhen Shi is probably listening in and whispering into Gens ear to help him sell himself the lie, but at the end of the day, this is what happened after Gen accepted defeat. The Spectres demanded his surrender, and he did, because he couldnt come to grips with reality. As I saw with Bei, the Spectres have no power besides that which we give them, and Gen has surrendered everything he has, including his very identity.
If this were the real Zhen Shi, I might be tempted to share my discovery with him, one made during my debate with Zhu Chanzui regarding human concepts. In the end, we Martial Warriors are too fixated on the Martial Path, when instead we should focus on the Dao itself. Dao is a tricky concept I thought I more or less understood, but understanding is not the same as comprehension. Dao can be translated as Path, but at the root of the concept, Dao refers to the underlying natural order of the universe, the rules which govern reality as we know it. The Dao is everything, and therefore is present in everything, whether it be an elite Martial Warrior Demonstrating the Forms, the flowing fingers of an accomplished musician, or even the practised movements of an experienced tailor. We focus on the Movements of the Forms to find Insight, but the same wisdom can be found in the flapping wings of a laughing bird, the ambling gait of a roosequin, the smooth sculling of a swimming turtle, or the ungainly flop of a bicorn bunny. One can even find the Dao in notes strummed along a zither or the wind moving through a bamboo grove, in the interplay of light and shadow or the rhythm of a cleansing rainfall. The Dao is everywhere and in everything, which means the Martial Path is not the only Path laid out before me.
I think, at one point, Zhen Shi might have understood this fundamental truth, but in his pursuit of strength, he lost sight of his noble goal, to raise humanity strength as a whole by studying the Defiled. Perhaps he was corrupted by the knowledge and driven mad by Spectres, or maybe hes as clear-headed as hes always been and was a monster in human flesh from the start. It doesnt matter, because regardless of the circumstances, I will stand against him. Humanity should hold themselves to high ideals like honour, justice, and integrity, because even though we are flawed, we still yearn to improve, and that, more than anything, is what it means to be human.
Gen couldnt accept his flaws, so he deluded himself into believing a pleasant lie, but Ive learned that denial only goes so far. Better to face the harsh truth now, because its not going away anytime soon.
Thank you, I say, interrupting Gens long-winded rant. I appreciate the visit, because youve helped answer a few questions I didnt even know I had, and now Ive found my Path. Smiling as I raise a hand, I add, Im not sure what would happen if I killed you here and now, but somehow, I feel like thats what Zhen Shi wants. I certainly cant come up with another reason why he would send you here, where you are utterly helpless to defend yourself. Luckily for you Gen, I am stubborn and contrary even on my best of days, so Ill be sending you off now, and you will never return. Saying it out loud solidifies it in my mind, and I know my words will prove true so long as I hold to my convictions. Gen Shi can only get in because I subconsciously wanted to seek him out for advice. Thats why having his notes is frowned upon, because by learning from Zhen Shi, he becomes something of an authority figure in our minds. Here in the Azure Empire, people venerate their teachers and mentors which gives Zhen Shi, and by extension Gen Shi, the upper hand in discussions like these, but luckily for me, Im from a different world where we treat teachers like crap.
Before he can get a word in edgewise, I flick his forehead and send him rocketing out into the Void and back from whence he came, which as Baledagh once informed me, is an unsettling experience. Good. I spared his life this time not because I dont want to kill him, but because Zhen Shi seems to want Gen Shi dead. Also, I would very much like to kill Gen in real life, with my own hands, if possible. Im no saint, and have never professed to be one, so while I know revenge probably wont make me feel any better, so long as I get to watch Gen die, then thats good enough for me.
With Gen Shi out of the way, I force myself to take a deep breath and clear my thoughts before turning in a circle to slowly take in my surroundings. Empty, white nothingness to some, but to my eyes, all I see is a blank canvas ready to be painted, with endless potential laid out before me. Consciously choosing to do nothing right now, I will myself out of the Void and back into the waking world, where I find Ping Ping standing on my chest, squeaking mournfully in distress, then happiness while Mom, Akanai, Song, Lin-Lin, and Luo-Luo look on in concern. Smiling at my beloved family, I stroke Ping Pings cheeks and say, Sorry for making you all worry. I can explain but um... is it still the same night? I havent been sleeping for a week or anything, have I?
No child, Mom says, hugging me tight only seconds after Lin-Lin launches herself into my arms. I bade you goodnight not two hours ago, and the Guardian Turtle raised the alarm less than a minute past.
Ah good, good. Pausing to collect my thoughts, I turn to what looks like an empty corner and say, First things first. Kuang Biao?
Yes, Legate?
Appearing in that same corner, Kuang Biao looks visibly flustered by my ability to find him in Concealment, but explanations will have to wait. You had a lion, didnt you? When you were a Royal Guardian?
Yes, Legate.
Good. Ready the Death Corps and Royal Guardians, then go fetch your lion using my authority as Legate. I intend to take personal command of Centrals reinforcements, and they march at first light, so we dont have much time to prepare. I dont give a shit if its against protocol, Im the Legate and I want Kuang Biao to have his lion mount, and not just because I want to pet one. Turning to Akanai, I add, If its not too much trouble, would you care to join us, Mother-in-Law? Ive been away from the battlefield for too long, and I will feel better with the People there with me.
Nodding without speaking, Akanai offers me the barest hint of an approving smile, which I only catch a glimpse of before Moms hands clamp my cheeks. Enough, she says, her hands trembling from concern. What happened while you were asleep? And why return to the battlefield now? A note of hope enters her eyes as her expectations rise. Are you...?
So nervous she cant even say it, she leaves me to fill in the blanks, and I offer her my biggest smile and ask, Healed? Taking her hands without letting my smile falter, I look Mom square in the eyes and say, Nope.
Only to immediately lean back to avoid the predictable rap to the head, but alas, I am but a mere mortal and no match for my Peak Expert mom when it comes to speed and strength as her knuckles knock lightly against my skull.
Still, mortal I may be, but if my hunch is right, then we mere mortals have our own strengths, for the Dao encompasses everything...
Chapter Meme
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Chapter 621
I dont like to brag, but I consider myself something of a savant when it comes to pissing people off.
What can I say? Its a gift, one Ive honed to perfection completely by accident. I dont actively aim to anger people all the time, it just happens naturally as a response to my actions, which usually are done without ulterior motive. Demand kowtows from a lost bet? Totally justified. Being passive aggressive about someone showing up late to the fight? Entirely understandable. Rolling my eyes because I cant stand the sheer stupidity spewing out of someones mouth? Absolutely unavoidable. Its not my fault people are so thin-skinned and lose their shit over nothing, so Ive had to overcompensate by carefully considering my every action to ensure no offence is given. Its not very effective because I often forget to think before I act, and other times I forget the rules are different in this shitty death world and default back to society as I know it, often to disastrous result.
In this specific scenario, my inquisitive curiosity is to blame for my inadvertent insult, as I turn away from the smug smiling, tea sipping, power-posing Zhen Shi to explore the boundaries of this seamless white room. At first glance the alabaster cosmos seems to stretch on to infinity, with no horizon or landmarks to discern direction, but I soon realize that no matter which way I turn, Zhen Shi is always sitting at the edge of my peripheral vision, just sort of looming there all threateningly. If I try to focus on something else and turn away, he disappears and reappears on the opposite side, as if were standing on a tiny globe and I have close to three-hundred and sixty degrees of vision that can also bend around the surface of this small planet.
Okay, the physics doesnt really work, but this isnt the real world and the same rules dont apply.
Cognizant of this fact and how Zhen Shis masked displeasure grows with every second I ignore him, I crouch and poke the ground, but there is no resistance. My finger just plunges past my ankles as if Im standing on solid air that only affects my bare feet. Hoping Im not naked, I check my clothes and find myself swaddled in saggy rags, sack brown and utilitarian as can be complete with rope belt and chafing fabric, but it covers all the important bits and thats all that matters. Closing my eyes, I set off in a random direction and count my steps to see how far I can go. A hundred steps later, I open my eyes and find Zhen Shi still hovering at the edge of my vision, his teacup in hand and perfectly poised to show how identical it is to Moms tea set. Struck by a stray thought, I undo my belt and hold one end while flinging the other end as far right as I can, wondering if Ill catch a glimpse of it on the left, but alas, nothing comes of it. This means my trippy, tiny planet theory is probably wrong and Zhen Shi is just actively keeping himself in the corner of my eyes, which is actually kind of funny. As far as I can tell, everything about him is carefully engineered to put himself in a position of power, from his lofty aerial perch and regal golden robes, to the subtle threat of the tea set and foreboding continued silence.
Honestly though? It feels like hes just trying too hard, especially since hes floating in mid air. A pedestal or something mightve been better, as well as a more impressive throne, but I think he was worried I wouldnt notice something as subtle as a single teacup and included the whole kit and kaboodle to ensure his message got across. He even got the smell right this time, which he left out in his last illusion, so hes improving as he goes, but hes pushing all the wrong buttons if he wants to scare me. Oh no, he knows where I am and is watching me closely, oooohhh so spooky. Its almost been a year since Ive known true privacy, maybe even longer, and I recently powered through not one, but two wedding nights knowing I probably had Concealed guards waiting in earshot. Watch all you want, Mister Ghost Man, because I dont care about voyeurs anymore.
Well, thats not true. If Zhen Shi showed up as a naked old man with wrinkly dick in hand over an image of me and my wives, I dont think I could ever run away fast enough...This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com
Truth be told, the biggest reason why Zhen Shis presence doesnt really alarm me is because of all the problems Im dealing with right now, this war with the Defiled actually ranks pretty low on the list. There are five Colonel Generals who are all far more qualified than I to lead the Imperial Army, and my job is mostly just to okay their plans and make sure the Marshals come up with the requisite supplies. I only vetoed Nian Zus idea to launch a massive counterattack because I thought the massive risks far outweighed the marginal rewards. The outer provinces are merely the appetizer to his main course, the Imperial Clan in the East, and our soldiers make for the perfect whetstone to hone his newly turned Chosen. Granted, this should motivate me to go for a decisive blow and set the Defiled back, but while the numbers are not in our favour, time is. With the Western Province as his sole foothold in the Empire, Zhen Shis resources are sorely limited since the west is only rich in stuff like gold, silver, copper, coal, salt, and gemstones. Valuable, yes, but only in trade, and weve successfully stamped out most smuggling enterprises in the last year. I have Situ Rang Min to thank for that in the North, while Marshal Quyen Huong locked things down in the South, and Centrals flat landscapes and the heavy military presence at the Western Wall makes it virtually impossible for any smugglers to make it through unseen. This means the Enemy is starved of vital resources, namely iron, stone, and timber, all of which Zhen Shi needs to craft weapons, armour, wagons, and more.
Also food, but considering the Defiled diet consists primarily of other Defiled, I doubt empty bellies are much of a concern. Regardless, Zhen Shi will eventually run out of equipment for his Chosen of Heaven, Runic or otherwise, which means the size of his army is limited. Whats more, while the Defiled have some means to craft their own version of Spiritual Weapons, Ive noticed the Chosen dont use Spiritual Weapons at all. I never really thought about it until a few days ago when I saw Goujian abandon his sword in the fight against Binesi and Han BoHai, but I checked and there is no report of any Chosen using a Spiritual Weapon on the battlefield. Runic armour a plenty, and a few carry Defiled armaments, but Spiritual Weapons? Zilch.
The significance of this discovery escapes me, but its something to keep in mind, and it all leads to the same conclusion. Time is on the Empires side, because while we would eventually lose a war of attrition, the odds are currently in our favour. We hold the defensive advantage and the Enemy isnt using their advantage of numbers, so theres no point doing anything different. If the Defiled group up and force their way through the Western Wall, then wed be in trouble, but so long as they are content to throw themselves piecemeal on the walled forts of the second line, then it behooves us to be patient and wait. Were bleeding soldiers, but the overall numbers are looking good, especially now that Hongji and other Central officers have embraced the power of the catapult. Being a pragmatic sort, the Northern soldiers have been using these weapons of war since the beginning, and have no qualms about picking up a crossbow to plunk away at the Defiled hordes, because the only good Defiled is a dead Defiled, and northerners are happy to kill Defiled in any way possible.
Its still shameful to rely on a ranged weapon in battle, but we Northerners are a pragmatic bunch.
Theres simply no benefit to the Empire if we go on the offensives, and its clear the Enemy forces are in place to turn any counter-attack into a trap. Its a textbook bait and switch, and even though I said as much and played out every possible action for my war council to see, they still refused to believe the Defiled would act as I expected, in a calm and intelligent fashion. Theyre too used to seeing the Enemy as a canny beast, dangerous if approached unprepared, but also utterly incapable of utilizing proper tactics. Granted the Defiled havent really shown the ability to do so yet, aside from a few probing test battles from Chosen Generals who have only recently taken the field, but I know the true mastermind behind the Defiled is Zhen Shi, who is more capable than any of us can imagine.
Not this Zhen Shi, floating high above me and sipping his tea. No, this is most definitely the fake, inferior version, because there is no way an eight-hundred year old psychopath would ever be this transparent. The real Zhen Shi is the one who engineered the trap on the second lines, hammering the centre hard while sandbagging on both flanks to put out this tempting bait, which would lead to disastrous results if Nian Zu and Shuai Jiao had their way. While a long and drawn out war would be perfect for tempering his Chosen, hes still losing soldiers and equipment, so it would be even better if he could score a resounding victory over the Imperial forces in the field. Not only would he strike a grievous blow against the morale of the Empire, possibly causing South, North, or even Central soldiers to desert or turncoat, he could also capture more capable Imperial soldiers to win over to his side.
I assume this is how Zhen Shi is getting most of his Chosen of Heaven, using Gens Oration to make them susceptible to Spectres, but Im curious to know why Imperials dont do the same thing in reverse. Its been a long time since Sanshu and Ive learned that Oration is not a Talent, but an actual Chi skill, one I inadvertently use when my emotions are high. More importantly, Shen ZhenWu used Oration in Nan Ping, and may have used it a few times more since, though I havent been keeping track, so why doesnt he just... I dunno, go around city to city and boost morale with a rousing speech? Patriotism would be the perfect weapon to wield against the Spectres and their whispered lies, and if he feels the task beneath him, Im sure there are other Imperial Scions with the ability to Orate who could fill in. Instead, we have all these festivals and celebrations to keep spirits high, which is both expensive and possibly ineffective, though I dont have any facts to prove it either way.
I dunno, it just seems weird that no one thought of this before me. Then again, I could be missing critical information and Oration cant be used like that for some obvious reason which makes perfect sense, but Im too stupid to figure out. Oration is pretty much Aura except through speech, so why is regular Aura so restricted in its use, but Oration so versatile, able to share what I felt over losing Qing Qing with everyone in Sinuji? Also, whats the deal with Luo-Luos music and where does it sit on the scale? I hate being the only person asking these questions, mostly because I cant go anywhere else for answers. Shen ZhenWu and any other Imperial Scion would demand an Oath of servitude the moment Im able to give one, and while the Brotherhood might be amenable to answering my questions, I cant get in touch with any of its members. Wugang, a former initiate and current member of Gang Shus band of bandits, has no idea how to contact the Brotherhood anymore, because after Vyakhya renounced the Abbot and broke off to join Zhen Shi, every monk in the Empire either returned to the Arid Wastes or defected to the Defiled.
Well... there is one place I could go to for answers, and hes conveniently right here...
Had I known about the Brotherhoods internal conflict at the time, I mightve been less confrontational with the Abbot and maybe gone to visit a monastery, but its too late now. I dont even know if hes still alive, though at least Gang Shu is recovering from his injuries, albeit slowly and still in hiding. According to Lei Gong, his boss is staying hidden because he cant risk being seen injured and ailing by any Ancestral Beast, regardless of their allegiance, because the urge to kill a wounded rival is just too overwhelming to resist. Human Divinitys arent driven by instinct, but we humans are a treacherous bunch, so I cant blame Gang Shu for not wanting to be found.
Its kind of sad how troubled Ancestral Beasts are, driven by instinct yet cursed with the knowledge and ability to rise above it. The struggle is there for their entire life, and like regular humans, Ancestral Beasts appear to deal with it in different ways, like poor Guan Suo who never truly came to grips with his bestial instincts and still wanted to love his children, while others like Zhu Chanzui dont even bother trying to understand human nature, much less accept it. For the life of me, I cant imagine how I would fare in their place, to hold a beautiful child, my child, and feel an almost irresistible urge to end their suffering with my own hands.
And as an added cruel joke, they live so long they get to forget, try again, fail, and re-experience all the pain anew. Nature is brutal, but this is almost too much...
Only now do I realize Ive just been standing around and pondering in silence while Zhen Shi glowers at the side, though I have no idea how long its been since I arrived here. Usually, I have some general gist of seconds and minutes because Im subconsciously tracking my breaths and heartbeats, but I dont need to breathe and dont have a heart here in the Void. Im a Natal Soul, or a Spiritual entity, with no need for blood or oxygen, and this awareness throws me for a loop as I struggle to remember what it feels like to be alive. What sensation does a beating heart give off? How do I draw air into my lungs and expel it out again? Have I been blinking? If theres nothing below my feet and nothing above my head, how am I keeping track of up and down?
Stuck in a downward spiral of self realization, I struggle for calm and Balance, but all the breathing exercises in the world wont help me if I dont remember how to breathe. My first thought is to panic and seek help, like a man drowning in the ocean and flailing about for anything to grab onto, but I stop short as the world comes into focus and I find myself face to foot with Zhen Shi, with my outstretched hand only scant inches away from taking hold of his. This was his doing, an assault on my emotions after his initial power-posing failed to bear fruit, a means to put me at a disadvantage to do... what exactly? To take my hand? Why? No, its not the act of contact that matters here, or else hed just reach out and grab me, but instead, he sits impatiently and waits for me to take his hand. Again... why? What purpose does this serve? Its not like either of us are really here, were just two Spiritual entities meeting in another plane of existence.
Thinking back on all my experiences in the Void with Natal Palaces and Natal Souls, one parallel immediately springs to mind, and that is my relationship with Baledagh. I was both Warrior and Brother, and even though the Warrior was the stronger of the two, the Brother was always dominant, even when dormant. Baledagh was always the submissive personality, even when I suspected he was my bodys original soul and relied on his strength, because I always identified more with Brother. To this day, that is who I see myself as, the scared, otherworldly personality thrust into an unfamiliar situation, while Baledagh was the native warrior born to this world. Mahakala showed me I was both Brother and Baledagh, but Im still primarily Brother all the time, with hints of Baledagh only showing itself in times of duress, like when Big Poppa Piggy showed up in the Citadel. How is this any different from having a split personality? I dont even talk to myself less, I just stopped crafting a dialogue between two personalities and monologue my way through all my problems.
Youre right to say nature is cruel and merciless, but you must not have been listening when I spoke with Zhu Chanzui. Gesturing at the animals depicted on my Runic armour, I explain, We humans are beasts, but we have the potential to be so much more, and it is in aspiring to greatness that we elevate ourselves above the wolf and sheep. You say I am weak because I refuse to give in to temptation, but I call you weak for succumbing to it. Do you even remember why you started down this path?
To overthrow the Dog Emperor, Gen Shi snarls, his expression one I can only describe as violence personified, And cleanse away the weakness of the human race.
To what end? Seeing his confusion, I clarify, Why did you want to rid the human race of weakness? Was it not so we could defeat the Defiled?
Defiled, hmph. Ignoring the question, Gen Shi snorts in derision. Another lie perpetrated by the Empire. The so called Defiled are merely the other side of the coin, for too much is as bad as not enough. The razors edge, that is this Sovereigns Path, and with it, I will raze this world clean of all...
Its sad how easy it is to set Gen Shi off, the cracks in his facade clearer than ever as he refuses to acknowledge the question, because he doesnt know the answer. This isnt really Zhen Shi, or an amalgamation of Zhen Shi and Gen, this is just Gen deluding himself into believing as much after being given just enough information to make it seem real. The real Zhen Shi is probably listening in and whispering into Gens ear to help him sell himself the lie, but at the end of the day, this is what happened after Gen accepted defeat. The Spectres demanded his surrender, and he did, because he couldnt come to grips with reality. As I saw with Bei, the Spectres have no power besides that which we give them, and Gen has surrendered everything he has, including his very identity.
If this were the real Zhen Shi, I might be tempted to share my discovery with him, one made during my debate with Zhu Chanzui regarding human concepts. In the end, we Martial Warriors are too fixated on the Martial Path, when instead we should focus on the Dao itself. Dao is a tricky concept I thought I more or less understood, but understanding is not the same as comprehension. Dao can be translated as Path, but at the root of the concept, Dao refers to the underlying natural order of the universe, the rules which govern reality as we know it. The Dao is everything, and therefore is present in everything, whether it be an elite Martial Warrior Demonstrating the Forms, the flowing fingers of an accomplished musician, or even the practised movements of an experienced tailor. We focus on the Movements of the Forms to find Insight, but the same wisdom can be found in the flapping wings of a laughing bird, the ambling gait of a roosequin, the smooth sculling of a swimming turtle, or the ungainly flop of a bicorn bunny. One can even find the Dao in notes strummed along a zither or the wind moving through a bamboo grove, in the interplay of light and shadow or the rhythm of a cleansing rainfall. The Dao is everywhere and in everything, which means the Martial Path is not the only Path laid out before me.
I think, at one point, Zhen Shi might have understood this fundamental truth, but in his pursuit of strength, he lost sight of his noble goal, to raise humanity strength as a whole by studying the Defiled. Perhaps he was corrupted by the knowledge and driven mad by Spectres, or maybe hes as clear-headed as hes always been and was a monster in human flesh from the start. It doesnt matter, because regardless of the circumstances, I will stand against him. Humanity should hold themselves to high ideals like honour, justice, and integrity, because even though we are flawed, we still yearn to improve, and that, more than anything, is what it means to be human.
Gen couldnt accept his flaws, so he deluded himself into believing a pleasant lie, but Ive learned that denial only goes so far. Better to face the harsh truth now, because its not going away anytime soon.
Thank you, I say, interrupting Gens long-winded rant. I appreciate the visit, because youve helped answer a few questions I didnt even know I had, and now Ive found my Path. Smiling as I raise a hand, I add, Im not sure what would happen if I killed you here and now, but somehow, I feel like thats what Zhen Shi wants. I certainly cant come up with another reason why he would send you here, where you are utterly helpless to defend yourself. Luckily for you Gen, I am stubborn and contrary even on my best of days, so Ill be sending you off now, and you will never return. Saying it out loud solidifies it in my mind, and I know my words will prove true so long as I hold to my convictions. Gen Shi can only get in because I subconsciously wanted to seek him out for advice. Thats why having his notes is frowned upon, because by learning from Zhen Shi, he becomes something of an authority figure in our minds. Here in the Azure Empire, people venerate their teachers and mentors which gives Zhen Shi, and by extension Gen Shi, the upper hand in discussions like these, but luckily for me, Im from a different world where we treat teachers like crap.
Before he can get a word in edgewise, I flick his forehead and send him rocketing out into the Void and back from whence he came, which as Baledagh once informed me, is an unsettling experience. Good. I spared his life this time not because I dont want to kill him, but because Zhen Shi seems to want Gen Shi dead. Also, I would very much like to kill Gen in real life, with my own hands, if possible. Im no saint, and have never professed to be one, so while I know revenge probably wont make me feel any better, so long as I get to watch Gen die, then thats good enough for me.
With Gen Shi out of the way, I force myself to take a deep breath and clear my thoughts before turning in a circle to slowly take in my surroundings. Empty, white nothingness to some, but to my eyes, all I see is a blank canvas ready to be painted, with endless potential laid out before me. Consciously choosing to do nothing right now, I will myself out of the Void and back into the waking world, where I find Ping Ping standing on my chest, squeaking mournfully in distress, then happiness while Mom, Akanai, Song, Lin-Lin, and Luo-Luo look on in concern. Smiling at my beloved family, I stroke Ping Pings cheeks and say, Sorry for making you all worry. I can explain but um... is it still the same night? I havent been sleeping for a week or anything, have I?
No child, Mom says, hugging me tight only seconds after Lin-Lin launches herself into my arms. I bade you goodnight not two hours ago, and the Guardian Turtle raised the alarm less than a minute past.
Ah good, good. Pausing to collect my thoughts, I turn to what looks like an empty corner and say, First things first. Kuang Biao?
Yes, Legate?
Appearing in that same corner, Kuang Biao looks visibly flustered by my ability to find him in Concealment, but explanations will have to wait. You had a lion, didnt you? When you were a Royal Guardian?
Yes, Legate.
Good. Ready the Death Corps and Royal Guardians, then go fetch your lion using my authority as Legate. I intend to take personal command of Centrals reinforcements, and they march at first light, so we dont have much time to prepare. I dont give a shit if its against protocol, Im the Legate and I want Kuang Biao to have his lion mount, and not just because I want to pet one. Turning to Akanai, I add, If its not too much trouble, would you care to join us, Mother-in-Law? Ive been away from the battlefield for too long, and I will feel better with the People there with me.
Nodding without speaking, Akanai offers me the barest hint of an approving smile, which I only catch a glimpse of before Moms hands clamp my cheeks. Enough, she says, her hands trembling from concern. What happened while you were asleep? And why return to the battlefield now? A note of hope enters her eyes as her expectations rise. Are you...?
So nervous she cant even say it, she leaves me to fill in the blanks, and I offer her my biggest smile and ask, Healed? Taking her hands without letting my smile falter, I look Mom square in the eyes and say, Nope.
Only to immediately lean back to avoid the predictable rap to the head, but alas, I am but a mere mortal and no match for my Peak Expert mom when it comes to speed and strength as her knuckles knock lightly against my skull.
Still, mortal I may be, but if my hunch is right, then we mere mortals have our own strengths, for the Dao encompasses everything...
Chapter Meme
Chapter 621I dont like to brag, but I consider myself something of a savant when it comes to pissing people off.What can I say? Its a gift, one Ive honed to perfection completely by accident. I dont actively aim to anger people all the time, it just happens naturally as a response to my actions, which usually are done without ulterior motive. Demand kowtows from a lost bet? Totally justified. Being passive aggressive about someone showing up late to the fight? Entirely understandable. Rolling my eyes because I cant stand the sheer stupidity spewing out of someones mouth? Absolutely unavoidable. Its not my fault people are so thin-skinned and lose their shit over nothing, so Ive had to overcompensate by carefully considering my every action to ensure no offence is given. Its not very effective because I often forget to think before I act, and other times I forget the rules are different in this shitty death world and default back to society as I know it, often to disastrous result.In this specific scenario, my inquisitive curiosity is to blame for my inadvertent insult, as I turn away from the smug smiling, tea sipping, power-posing Zhen Shi to explore the boundaries of this seamless white room. At first glance the alabaster cosmos seems to stretch on to infinity, with no horizon or landmarks to discern direction, but I soon realize that no matter which way I turn, Zhen Shi is always sitting at the edge of my peripheral vision, just sort of looming there all threateningly. If I try to focus on something else and turn away, he disappears and reappears on the opposite side, as if were standing on a tiny globe and I have close to three-hundred and sixty degrees of vision that can also bend around the surface of this small planet.Okay, the physics doesnt really work, but this isnt the real world and the same rules dont apply.Cognizant of this fact and how Zhen Shis masked displeasure grows with every second I ignore him, I crouch and poke the ground, but there is no resistance. My finger just plunges past my ankles as if Im standing on solid air that only affects my bare feet. Hoping Im not naked, I check my clothes and find myself swaddled in saggy rags, sack brown and utilitarian as can be complete with rope belt and chafing fabric, but it covers all the important bits and thats all that matters. Closing my eyes, I set off in a random direction and count my steps to see how far I can go. A hundred steps later, I open my eyes and find Zhen Shi still hovering at the edge of my vision, his teacup in hand and perfectly poised to show how identical it is to Moms tea set. Struck by a stray thought, I undo my belt and hold one end while flinging the other end as far right as I can, wondering if Ill catch a glimpse of it on the left, but alas, nothing comes of it. This means my trippy, tiny planet theory is probably wrong and Zhen Shi is just actively keeping himself in the corner of my eyes, which is actually kind of funny. As far as I can tell, everything about him is carefully engineered to put himself in a position of power, from his lofty aerial perch and regal golden robes, to the subtle threat of the tea set and foreboding continued silence.Honestly though? It feels like hes just trying too hard, especially since hes floating in mid air. A pedestal or something mightve been better, as well as a more impressive throne, but I think he was worried I wouldnt notice something as subtle as a single teacup and included the whole kit and kaboodle to ensure his message got across. He even got the smell right this time, which he left out in his last illusion, so hes improving as he goes, but hes pushing all the wrong buttons if he wants to scare me. Oh no, he knows where I am and is watching me closely, oooohhh so spooky. Its almost been a year since Ive known true privacy, maybe even longer, and I recently powered through not one, but two wedding nights knowing I probably had Concealed guards waiting in earshot. Watch all you want, Mister Ghost Man, because I dont care about voyeurs anymore.Well, thats not true. If Zhen Shi showed up as a naked old man with wrinkly dick in hand over an image of me and my wives, I dont think I could ever run away fast enough...This chapter is updated by novelbiin.comTruth be told, the biggest reason why Zhen Shis presence doesnt really alarm me is because of all the problems Im dealing with right now, this war with the Defiled actually ranks pretty low on the list. There are five Colonel Generals who are all far more qualified than I to lead the Imperial Army, and my job is mostly just to okay their plans and make sure the Marshals come up with the requisite supplies. I only vetoed Nian Zus idea to launch a massive counterattack because I thought the massive risks far outweighed the marginal rewards. The outer provinces are merely the appetizer to his main course, the Imperial Clan in the East, and our soldiers make for the perfect whetstone to hone his newly turned Chosen. Granted, this should motivate me to go for a decisive blow and set the Defiled back, but while the numbers are not in our favour, time is. With the Western Province as his sole foothold in the Empire, Zhen Shis resources are sorely limited since the west is only rich in stuff like gold, silver, copper, coal, salt, and gemstones. Valuable, yes, but only in trade, and weve successfully stamped out most smuggling enterprises in the last year. I have Situ Rang Min to thank for that in the North, while Marshal Quyen Huong locked things down in the South, and Centrals flat landscapes and the heavy military presence at the Western Wall makes it virtually impossible for any smugglers to make it through unseen. This means the Enemy is starved of vital resources, namely iron, stone, and timber, all of which Zhen Shi needs to craft weapons, armour, wagons, and more.Also food, but considering the Defiled diet consists primarily of other Defiled, I doubt empty bellies are much of a concern. Regardless, Zhen Shi will eventually run out of equipment for his Chosen of Heaven, Runic or otherwise, which means the size of his army is limited. Whats more, while the Defiled have some means to craft their own version of Spiritual Weapons, Ive noticed the Chosen dont use Spiritual Weapons at all. I never really thought about it until a few days ago when I saw Goujian abandon his sword in the fight against Binesi and Han BoHai, but I checked and there is no report of any Chosen using a Spiritual Weapon on the battlefield. Runic armour a plenty, and a few carry Defiled armaments, but Spiritual Weapons? Zilch.The significance of this discovery escapes me, but its something to keep in mind, and it all leads to the same conclusion. Time is on the Empires side, because while we would eventually lose a war of attrition, the odds are currently in our favour. We hold the defensive advantage and the Enemy isnt using their advantage of numbers, so theres no point doing anything different. If the Defiled group up and force their way through the Western Wall, then wed be in trouble, but so long as they are content to throw themselves piecemeal on the walled forts of the second line, then it behooves us to be patient and wait. Were bleeding soldiers, but the overall numbers are looking good, especially now that Hongji and other Central officers have embraced the power of the catapult. Being a pragmatic sort, the Northern soldiers have been using these weapons of war since the beginning, and have no qualms about picking up a crossbow to plunk away at the Defiled hordes, because the only good Defiled is a dead Defiled, and northerners are happy to kill Defiled in any way possible.Its still shameful to rely on a ranged weapon in battle, but we Northerners are a pragmatic bunch.Theres simply no benefit to the Empire if we go on the offensives, and its clear the Enemy forces are in place to turn any counter-attack into a trap. Its a textbook bait and switch, and even though I said as much and played out every possible action for my war council to see, they still refused to believe the Defiled would act as I expected, in a calm and intelligent fashion. Theyre too used to seeing the Enemy as a canny beast, dangerous if approached unprepared, but also utterly incapable of utilizing proper tactics. Granted the Defiled havent really shown the ability to do so yet, aside from a few probing test battles from Chosen Generals who have only recently taken the field, but I know the true mastermind behind the Defiled is Zhen Shi, who is more capable than any of us can imagine.Not this Zhen Shi, floating high above me and sipping his tea. No, this is most definitely the fake, inferior version, because there is no way an eight-hundred year old psychopath would ever be this transparent. The real Zhen Shi is the one who engineered the trap on the second lines, hammering the centre hard while sandbagging on both flanks to put out this tempting bait, which would lead to disastrous results if Nian Zu and Shuai Jiao had their way. While a long and drawn out war would be perfect for tempering his Chosen, hes still losing soldiers and equipment, so it would be even better if he could score a resounding victory over the Imperial forces in the field. Not only would he strike a grievous blow against the morale of the Empire, possibly causing South, North, or even Central soldiers to desert or turncoat, he could also capture more capable Imperial soldiers to win over to his side.I assume this is how Zhen Shi is getting most of his Chosen of Heaven, using Gens Oration to make them susceptible to Spectres, but Im curious to know why Imperials dont do the same thing in reverse. Its been a long time since Sanshu and Ive learned that Oration is not a Talent, but an actual Chi skill, one I inadvertently use when my emotions are high. More importantly, Shen ZhenWu used Oration in Nan Ping, and may have used it a few times more since, though I havent been keeping track, so why doesnt he just... I dunno, go around city to city and boost morale with a rousing speech? Patriotism would be the perfect weapon to wield against the Spectres and their whispered lies, and if he feels the task beneath him, Im sure there are other Imperial Scions with the ability to Orate who could fill in. Instead, we have all these festivals and celebrations to keep spirits high, which is both expensive and possibly ineffective, though I dont have any facts to prove it either way.I dunno, it just seems weird that no one thought of this before me. Then again, I could be missing critical information and Oration cant be used like that for some obvious reason which makes perfect sense, but Im too stupid to figure out. Oration is pretty much Aura except through speech, so why is regular Aura so restricted in its use, but Oration so versatile, able to share what I felt over losing Qing Qing with everyone in Sinuji? Also, whats the deal with Luo-Luos music and where does it sit on the scale? I hate being the only person asking these questions, mostly because I cant go anywhere else for answers. Shen ZhenWu and any other Imperial Scion would demand an Oath of servitude the moment Im able to give one, and while the Brotherhood might be amenable to answering my questions, I cant get in touch with any of its members. Wugang, a former initiate and current member of Gang Shus band of bandits, has no idea how to contact the Brotherhood anymore, because after Vyakhya renounced the Abbot and broke off to join Zhen Shi, every monk in the Empire either returned to the Arid Wastes or defected to the Defiled.Well... there is one place I could go to for answers, and hes conveniently right here...Had I known about the Brotherhoods internal conflict at the time, I mightve been less confrontational with the Abbot and maybe gone to visit a monastery, but its too late now. I dont even know if hes still alive, though at least Gang Shu is recovering from his injuries, albeit slowly and still in hiding. According to Lei Gong, his boss is staying hidden because he cant risk being seen injured and ailing by any Ancestral Beast, regardless of their allegiance, because the urge to kill a wounded rival is just too overwhelming to resist. Human Divinitys arent driven by instinct, but we humans are a treacherous bunch, so I cant blame Gang Shu for not wanting to be found.Its kind of sad how troubled Ancestral Beasts are, driven by instinct yet cursed with the knowledge and ability to rise above it. The struggle is there for their entire life, and like regular humans, Ancestral Beasts appear to deal with it in different ways, like poor Guan Suo who never truly came to grips with his bestial instincts and still wanted to love his children, while others like Zhu Chanzui dont even bother trying to understand human nature, much less accept it. For the life of me, I cant imagine how I would fare in their place, to hold a beautiful child, my child, and feel an almost irresistible urge to end their suffering with my own hands.And as an added cruel joke, they live so long they get to forget, try again, fail, and re-experience all the pain anew. Nature is brutal, but this is almost too much...Only now do I realize Ive just been standing around and pondering in silence while Zhen Shi glowers at the side, though I have no idea how long its been since I arrived here. Usually, I have some general gist of seconds and minutes because Im subconsciously tracking my breaths and heartbeats, but I dont need to breathe and dont have a heart here in the Void. Im a Natal Soul, or a Spiritual entity, with no need for blood or oxygen, and this awareness throws me for a loop as I struggle to remember what it feels like to be alive. What sensation does a beating heart give off? How do I draw air into my lungs and expel it out again? Have I been blinking? If theres nothing below my feet and nothing above my head, how am I keeping track of up and down?Stuck in a downward spiral of self realization, I struggle for calm and Balance, but all the breathing exercises in the world wont help me if I dont remember how to breathe. My first thought is to panic and seek help, like a man drowning in the ocean and flailing about for anything to grab onto, but I stop short as the world comes into focus and I find myself face to foot with Zhen Shi, with my outstretched hand only scant inches away from taking hold of his. This was his doing, an assault on my emotions after his initial power-posing failed to bear fruit, a means to put me at a disadvantage to do... what exactly? To take my hand? Why? No, its not the act of contact that matters here, or else hed just reach out and grab me, but instead, he sits impatiently and waits for me to take his hand. Again... why? What purpose does this serve? Its not like either of us are really here, were just two Spiritual entities meeting in another plane of existence.Thinking back on all my experiences in the Void with Natal Palaces and Natal Souls, one parallel immediately springs to mind, and that is my relationship with Baledagh. I was both Warrior and Brother, and even though the Warrior was the stronger of the two, the Brother was always dominant, even when dormant. Baledagh was always the submissive personality, even when I suspected he was my bodys original soul and relied on his strength, because I always identified more with Brother. To this day, that is who I see myself as, the scared, otherworldly personality thrust into an unfamiliar situation, while Baledagh was the native warrior born to this world. Mahakala showed me I was both Brother and Baledagh, but Im still primarily Brother all the time, with hints of Baledagh only showing itself in times of duress, like when Big Poppa Piggy showed up in the Citadel. How is this any different from having a split personality? I dont even talk to myself less, I just stopped crafting a dialogue between two personalities and monologue my way through all my problems.Youre right to say nature is cruel and merciless, but you must not have been listening when I spoke with Zhu Chanzui. Gesturing at the animals depicted on my Runic armour, I explain, We humans are beasts, but we have the potential to be so much more, and it is in aspiring to greatness that we elevate ourselves above the wolf and sheep. You say I am weak because I refuse to give in to temptation, but I call you weak for succumbing to it. Do you even remember why you started down this path?To overthrow the Dog Emperor, Gen Shi snarls, his expression one I can only describe as violence personified, And cleanse away the weakness of the human race.To what end? Seeing his confusion, I clarify, Why did you want to rid the human race of weakness? Was it not so we could defeat the Defiled?Defiled, hmph. Ignoring the question, Gen Shi snorts in derision. Another lie perpetrated by the Empire. The so called Defiled are merely the other side of the coin, for too much is as bad as not enough. The razors edge, that is this Sovereigns Path, and with it, I will raze this world clean of all...Its sad how easy it is to set Gen Shi off, the cracks in his facade clearer than ever as he refuses to acknowledge the question, because he doesnt know the answer. This isnt really Zhen Shi, or an amalgamation of Zhen Shi and Gen, this is just Gen deluding himself into believing as much after being given just enough information to make it seem real. The real Zhen Shi is probably listening in and whispering into Gens ear to help him sell himself the lie, but at the end of the day, this is what happened after Gen accepted defeat. The Spectres demanded his surrender, and he did, because he couldnt come to grips with reality. As I saw with Bei, the Spectres have no power besides that which we give them, and Gen has surrendered everything he has, including his very identity.If this were the real Zhen Shi, I might be tempted to share my discovery with him, one made during my debate with Zhu Chanzui regarding human concepts. In the end, we Martial Warriors are too fixated on the Martial Path, when instead we should focus on the Dao itself. Dao is a tricky concept I thought I more or less understood, but understanding is not the same as comprehension. Dao can be translated as Path, but at the root of the concept, Dao refers to the underlying natural order of the universe, the rules which govern reality as we know it. The Dao is everything, and therefore is present in everything, whether it be an elite Martial Warrior Demonstrating the Forms, the flowing fingers of an accomplished musician, or even the practised movements of an experienced tailor. We focus on the Movements of the Forms to find Insight, but the same wisdom can be found in the flapping wings of a laughing bird, the ambling gait of a roosequin, the smooth sculling of a swimming turtle, or the ungainly flop of a bicorn bunny. One can even find the Dao in notes strummed along a zither or the wind moving through a bamboo grove, in the interplay of light and shadow or the rhythm of a cleansing rainfall. The Dao is everywhere and in everything, which means the Martial Path is not the only Path laid out before me.I think, at one point, Zhen Shi might have understood this fundamental truth, but in his pursuit of strength, he lost sight of his noble goal, to raise humanity strength as a whole by studying the Defiled. Perhaps he was corrupted by the knowledge and driven mad by Spectres, or maybe hes as clear-headed as hes always been and was a monster in human flesh from the start. It doesnt matter, because regardless of the circumstances, I will stand against him. Humanity should hold themselves to high ideals like honour, justice, and integrity, because even though we are flawed, we still yearn to improve, and that, more than anything, is what it means to be human.Gen couldnt accept his flaws, so he deluded himself into believing a pleasant lie, but Ive learned that denial only goes so far. Better to face the harsh truth now, because its not going away anytime soon.Thank you, I say, interrupting Gens long-winded rant. I appreciate the visit, because youve helped answer a few questions I didnt even know I had, and now Ive found my Path. Smiling as I raise a hand, I add, Im not sure what would happen if I killed you here and now, but somehow, I feel like thats what Zhen Shi wants. I certainly cant come up with another reason why he would send you here, where you are utterly helpless to defend yourself. Luckily for you Gen, I am stubborn and contrary even on my best of days, so Ill be sending you off now, and you will never return. Saying it out loud solidifies it in my mind, and I know my words will prove true so long as I hold to my convictions. Gen Shi can only get in because I subconsciously wanted to seek him out for advice. Thats why having his notes is frowned upon, because by learning from Zhen Shi, he becomes something of an authority figure in our minds. Here in the Azure Empire, people venerate their teachers and mentors which gives Zhen Shi, and by extension Gen Shi, the upper hand in discussions like these, but luckily for me, Im from a different world where we treat teachers like crap.Before he can get a word in edgewise, I flick his forehead and send him rocketing out into the Void and back from whence he came, which as Baledagh once informed me, is an unsettling experience. Good. I spared his life this time not because I dont want to kill him, but because Zhen Shi seems to want Gen Shi dead. Also, I would very much like to kill Gen in real life, with my own hands, if possible. Im no saint, and have never professed to be one, so while I know revenge probably wont make me feel any better, so long as I get to watch Gen die, then thats good enough for me.With Gen Shi out of the way, I force myself to take a deep breath and clear my thoughts before turning in a circle to slowly take in my surroundings. Empty, white nothingness to some, but to my eyes, all I see is a blank canvas ready to be painted, with endless potential laid out before me. Consciously choosing to do nothing right now, I will myself out of the Void and back into the waking world, where I find Ping Ping standing on my chest, squeaking mournfully in distress, then happiness while Mom, Akanai, Song, Lin-Lin, and Luo-Luo look on in concern. Smiling at my beloved family, I stroke Ping Pings cheeks and say, Sorry for making you all worry. I can explain but um... is it still the same night? I havent been sleeping for a week or anything, have I?No child, Mom says, hugging me tight only seconds after Lin-Lin launches herself into my arms. I bade you goodnight not two hours ago, and the Guardian Turtle raised the alarm less than a minute past.Ah good, good. Pausing to collect my thoughts, I turn to what looks like an empty corner and say, First things first. Kuang Biao?Yes, Legate?Appearing in that same corner, Kuang Biao looks visibly flustered by my ability to find him in Concealment, but explanations will have to wait. You had a lion, didnt you? When you were a Royal Guardian?Yes, Legate.Good. Ready the Death Corps and Royal Guardians, then go fetch your lion using my authority as Legate. I intend to take personal command of Centrals reinforcements, and they march at first light, so we dont have much time to prepare. I dont give a shit if its against protocol, Im the Legate and I want Kuang Biao to have his lion mount, and not just because I want to pet one. Turning to Akanai, I add, If its not too much trouble, would you care to join us, Mother-in-Law? Ive been away from the battlefield for too long, and I will feel better with the People there with me.Nodding without speaking, Akanai offers me the barest hint of an approving smile, which I only catch a glimpse of before Moms hands clamp my cheeks. Enough, she says, her hands trembling from concern. What happened while you were asleep? And why return to the battlefield now? A note of hope enters her eyes as her expectations rise. Are you...?So nervous she cant even say it, she leaves me to fill in the blanks, and I offer her my biggest smile and ask, Healed? Taking her hands without letting my smile falter, I look Mom square in the eyes and say, Nope.Only to immediately lean back to avoid the predictable rap to the head, but alas, I am but a mere mortal and no match for my Peak Expert mom when it comes to speed and strength as her knuckles knock lightly against my skull.Still, mortal I may be, but if my hunch is right, then we mere mortals have our own strengths, for the Dao encompasses everything...Chapter Meme
