A pastoral view greeted us by the time we arrived in Aquina Town.
As the sun sunk low, shadows scythed across river canals weaving between a mosaic of cottages, each decorated with brightly painted roofs and wobbly chimneys.
Small billows of smoke were visible beneath a burned sky, while light ushered out from round windows. Canoes dotted the canals, their lanterns shimmering against the river like dipping fireflies as they warded away the carnivorous turtles which inhabited these waters.
Why, it was truly as quaint as I remembered.
A sweeping tapestry of a town painted in pastels and watercolours, where riverbanks dominated as much as any chapel steeple or clock tower.
Rickety fences, lines drawn in the soil and flower beds being eaten by a legally stabled Apple marked the demarcation between homes. Often, no lines existed, and residents wandered with as much freedom to weave between houses as the hens and the goats.
Yes, it was truly a picturesque town.
All except for one thing.
“Coppelia.”
“Yes?”
“Your eyes are better than mine.”
“They're my best features, just like all my other best features.”
“Yes, well … can you please tell me what this is?”
Coppelia did as asked, hand reaching up to her brow as she studied the sign nailed to the door of a tavern-like building right beside us.
“It's a sign that says the Aquina branch of the Adventurer's Guild is temporarily closed while its members are participating in the Tournament of Crowns.”
I tightly closed my eyes, grieving for all the lost cats that will now never be found.
When I opened them again, I took in the sight before me.
It was the colourful walls, the brightly painted rooftop, the wobbly chimney and the large double door of the local Adventurer's Guild.
This was truly something.
Why, I didn't even need the Adventurer's Guild right now, and yet they still managed to disappoint me.
Yet again, the true scale of this organisation's wanton disregard for proper work ethics revealed itself. It was outrageous. For people who prided themselves on serving the public, closing their doors whenever a chance to jump like synchronised poodles for a bag of crowns appeared was the height of ignominy.
Worst was the fact I could still hear them.
In the distance, the sound of clashing steel and a roaring crowd filled my eardrums. Cheers ricocheted around the empty street, shaking the puddle in the cracked steps before the guild hall.
Sadly for the members of the Aquina branch of the Adventurer's Guild, they would never have a chance to repair it. The 10,000 gold crowns advertised as their reward would never be paid out—for the simple reason that I wouldn't do so.
Yes, it was time to begin the royal requisition!
Expedience was necessary. Whatever bouts remained would certainly be paused when night fell, and I had little desire to remain in this glorified barn of a duchy any longer than I had to.
The concentration of peasants was so high here that every moment I lingered resulted in me forgetting some crucial detail about life as a princess. Why, in the past minute alone, I'd forgotten that the sauce velouté of a blanquette de veau should be enriched with both cream and eggs. How was I to heavily criticise our chefs if I didn't know what they did wrong?
“... Ugh, very well,” I said, as the town's countryside atmosphere weighed down on me. “We must put aside the habitual inadequacies of the Adventurer's Guild for now. We have other matters to see to.”
I pointed ahead at the maze of small roads.
“Behold! The duchy has emptied itself for our benefit!”
Indeed, there were scarcely any witnesses to our arrival.
The Adventurer's Guild was not the only location closed for business. The street weaving from the town entrance should have been the centre of taxable commerce, filled with merchants eager to ensure that the highly reasonable costs of a trading permit could be paid.
There was no doubt about it. The effect of this tournament on the kingdom's bottom line was nothing short of disastrous.
All the more reason to rid this region of its errant provincial ruler, whose lax collection on behalf of the Royal Treasury meant that his entire workforce could now slack in its duties.
“Is it time to empty what's left, then?” asked Coppelia, clapping her hands together with a wide smile. “Indiscriminate looting until our pockets jingle with coin while the people cry out in debilitating poverty and babies wail into the night?”
“Well, certainly, we'll be ensuring that the Duke is unable to pay any remuneration to his staff ... and yes, there will be some minor grief until they flock to the security of the kingdom. But their financial hardship will be temporary and fully proportional.”
“Ooh … temporary and fully proportional. I like that! The next time I bonk someone on the head with my scythe, I'm going to use it.”
“Coppelia, nothing temporary will result in a … bonk by your scythe.”
“Eh, it's fine. New heads are way more affordable now.”
I raised an eyebrow.
One of these days, I'd know if she was joking or not.
As the image of a fae grabbing his sliding head and comically screwing it back on flittered through my mind, I knew that day would not be today.
Yet another memory I'd gained on this expedition that I wasn't certain was beneficial in any capacity.
“Out of morbid curiosity, if you were to lose your head, do you believe you'd be able to … stick it back on?”
Coppelia gave a tinkling laugh.
“I'm amazing, but I'm not a toy, you know? Can you not see how delicate and fragile I am? I definitely won't be able to do any circus tricks if I lose my head.”
“I've seen you perform acrobatics while on fire. Even if you lost your head, I wouldn't discount you being able to spin plates while twirling like a ballerina. Rather, I believe it'd just make your balance more fine.”
Coppelia gave a pirouette, her key briefly catching the setting sun and her smile lighting up the shadows.
“Now why would you even imagine such a scenario?” she asked, pointing at her cheeks with both hands. “If I lost my head for even a moment, the world would become a far darker place. Who has a gazillion crown smile like I do?”
I reached out, took Coppelia's hands, and then pointed her fingertips at me instead.
“Me,” I answered simply. “Why, if I wished to debase my dignity, I could easily scour clean every treasury in the continent by selling my smile.”
“Uwahh … you actually said it.”
I gave a flick of my hair. I was unrepentant. Peasants did not deny being miserable. Princesses did not deny being beautiful.
And I did not deny being the most beautiful of them all.
Indeed, even the destruction wrought by troll caravans paled in comparison to what my full strength could accomplish. If I willed it, I could bankrupt a city so fast that not even a single copper crown would remain in a gutter. Inflation, capital flight and financial collapse would follow my footsteps as suitors sought to win my hand.
“You do not see me at my finest. After all, I'm currently on an excursion to rid the realm of all the calamities seeking to lower my quality of life. My attire and my objectives do not afford me the soft and gentle appearance I ordinarily display.”
“Soft and gentle is definitely how I'd describe your chee—I mean, your magnanimous personality as you wrinkle your nose whenever a peasant walks by.”
I placed my hand atop my chest, my lips twisting to perform a mere glimpse of the most deadly weapon I possessed.
“What you see is only a fraction of my power. I wield enough allure in my smile to fell any foe who seeks to stand before me.”
“I mean, I've seen you smile a few times, but none of them have ever caused me to fall over quite yet.”
“Please, Coppelia. The extremity of my power is one I must use with utmost caution. Besides, you're my future handmaiden. I can't have you so intoxicated with my charms that you'd be unable to fulfil your basic duties.”
“I like the way you make it sound like this is a common issue.”
I sadly shook my head.
Coppelia could not know the amount of destruction my aura of charm had wrought before I learned to limit its overwhelming power.
“It's awful. The number of servants who spilled wine on me as I commanded them to adhere to my every whim is unbelievable. It's almost as if they were aiming for me!”
“That would never happen,” said Coppelia, her lips strangely quivering. “Your attendants are well paid and well treated and would never harbour an ill thought against you and your unrelenting and impractical demands.”
“Agreed. Sadly, loyalty does not mean competence. The sheer clumsiness I have to work with is astonishing. Why, just the day before I set out on this venture, I ...”
I paused.
And then I swished around.
Nothing.
Around me, only the tail of a tabby cat peeking out from a bucket could be spied in the shadows. Everywhere else, the fading light illuminated a street devoid of any people.
How strange.
For a brief moment, I felt a gaze tickling the back of my neck.
As both a princess and a beautiful maiden familiar with the unwanted glances of those around me, I'd developed a natural instinct for identifying which eyes were peering lasciviously at me at any given moment.
The one I felt just now, however, was different.
It was more … rapt. As if I was being studied from head to boot.
And yet I saw nothing but an emptied high street, its stillness broken only by Coppelia as she leaned in front of me.
“Yes?” she said, waving a hand. “Don't leave a sentence hanging like that. It might be okay here. But in Ouzelia, narrative direction requires that something dramatic happen to cut you off. Like a piano falling on top of you.”
I looked at Coppelia in horror.
Once again, her brief snippets of life in the Northern Realm of Oddballs never failed to have me appreciate my reality free of falling musical instruments.
“Are you claiming that pianos fall out of the sky in Ouzelia?”
“I mean, have you seen the size of the windows over there?”
“No.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, don't. It's easier for your mind that way. Basically, there's a reason why chiropractors all move to Ouzelia. An entire nation with neck pains. I'm not saying it's free money … but it's free money.”
I decided, there and then, that I needed to speak with Florella and Clarise as a matter of urgency. An arrangement needed to be made. Any royal duties that required travelling to that nation of weirdos would be handled by them inexplicably.
Meanwhile, I would volunteer to tour the bakeries and patisseries of the kingdom, offering my royal presence as a boon to all pastry chefs everywhere.
It seemed like a fair arrangement.
“Let's … Let's be on our way,” I said, wondering if I'd simply imagined that gaze on me. “We've tarried enough. But be warned. We must go with caution, using all the stealth and subterfuge available to us. It's imperative that the Duke's humiliation be complete.”
“Understood! Does that mean we're going to be entering the castle through a hidden tunnel? Maybe climbing down a well again?”
I offered Coppelia another glimpse of the hidden smile I showed to no one.
“Ohohoho … your jests grow ever wilder, Coppelia.”
“Eh?”
“Aquina Castle is not some nobleman's hut. It is old and storied. A monument to a time when the rulers of Aquina paid their just dues. And that meant they were refined enough to possess more elegant modes of hidden entry and exit.”
Coppelia glanced to the corner, humming to herself.
Then, she clicked her fingers.
“Ooh, I know! A secret backdoor, with a password and a bribable goon when we don't offer one!”
I nodded, satisfied that she saw the dignified mode of intrusion which waited ahead.
That's right! There was no need to climb, crawl or otherwise sully my knees! The Duchy of Aquina may currently be governed by a provincial ruler with more crowns than sense, but in past days, when the royal family of Tirea saw fit to discreetly visit the dukedoms, the postern doors were always utilised for high level meetings.
Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
And then—
I swished around in confusion.
“Coppelia … was that a duck I just heard?”
My future handmaiden nodded, twirling on the spot as she sought to identify the ducks that were very much not here.
“I think so. Do ducks just randomly wander around your towns?”
“No, I don't believe so … certainly not Aquina. Their canals are infested with carnivorous turtles.”
“Huh. Bet they'd love to try a duck. They're really tasty.”
Suddenly, Coppelia's back straightened as she snapped to attention. Her eyes opened wide in surprise, before she immediately scanned around her with renewed vigour.
After a few moments, she relaxed.
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~”
“What is it?”
Coppelia shrugged.
“Eh, it's probably nothing.”
“Coppelia, we don't have to be in Ouzelia for that to always mean it's most certainly something.”
“In that case, it's definitely something. But we won't find out until later.”
I nodded, then started making my way through Aquina's winding roads.
All the while, I could occasionally hear a duck quacking nearby.
Truly.
I could not wait to be done with this town.
kayenano
Have you guys read The Chronicles of Emberstone Farm by LinMeili yet? Because if you haven't, you should! It's a cosy farming story filled with a lovable cast, cute girls and .... farms! Go read it now!
SynopsisJoyful and fun! Like a comforting blanket that infuses you with a cheerful warmth, this is a heartwarming tale about farming, crafting, and magic.
Violet, an orphan from Earth, was just about to apply to a college when she got distracted by her favorite video game, Adventure Incarnate. When she logged into the MMORPG, she was transported into the world of the game.
Thankfully, Adventure Incarnate was a fun farming/adventure RPG, and she has an awesome cheat - her inventory is full of raw materials that she can use to level up and craft legendary items.
Join her in her lighthearted quest to become the greatest farmer of all time!
A pastoral view greeted us by the time we arrived in Aquina Town.
As the sun sunk low, shadows scythed across river canals weaving between a mosaic of cottages, each decorated with brightly painted roofs and wobbly chimneys.
Small billows of smoke were visible beneath a burned sky, while light ushered out from round windows. Canoes dotted the canals, their lanterns shimmering against the river like dipping fireflies as they warded away the carnivorous turtles which inhabited these waters.
Why, it was truly as quaint as I remembered.
A sweeping tapestry of a town painted in pastels and watercolours, where riverbanks dominated as much as any chapel steeple or clock tower.
Rickety fences, lines drawn in the soil and flower beds being eaten by a legally stabled Apple marked the demarcation between homes. Often, no lines existed, and residents wandered with as much freedom to weave between houses as the hens and the goats.
Yes, it was truly a picturesque town.
All except for one thing.
“Coppelia.”
“Yes?”
“Your eyes are better than mine.”
“They're my best features, just like all my other best features.”
“Yes, well … can you please tell me what this is?”
Coppelia did as asked, hand reaching up to her brow as she studied the sign nailed to the door of a tavern-like building right beside us.
“It's a sign that says the Aquina branch of the Adventurer's Guild is temporarily closed while its members are participating in the Tournament of Crowns.”
I tightly closed my eyes, grieving for all the lost cats that will now never be found.
When I opened them again, I took in the sight before me.
It was the colourful walls, the brightly painted rooftop, the wobbly chimney and the large double door of the local Adventurer's Guild.
This was truly something.
Why, I didn't even need the Adventurer's Guild right now, and yet they still managed to disappoint me.
Yet again, the true scale of this organisation's wanton disregard for proper work ethics revealed itself. It was outrageous. For people who prided themselves on serving the public, closing their doors whenever a chance to jump like synchronised poodles for a bag of crowns appeared was the height of ignominy.
Worst was the fact I could still hear them.
In the distance, the sound of clashing steel and a roaring crowd filled my eardrums. Cheers ricocheted around the empty street, shaking the puddle in the cracked steps before the guild hall.
Sadly for the members of the Aquina branch of the Adventurer's Guild, they would never have a chance to repair it. The 10,000 gold crowns advertised as their reward would never be paid out—for the simple reason that I wouldn't do so.
Yes, it was time to begin the royal requisition!
Expedience was necessary. Whatever bouts remained would certainly be paused when night fell, and I had little desire to remain in this glorified barn of a duchy any longer than I had to.
The concentration of peasants was so high here that every moment I lingered resulted in me forgetting some crucial detail about life as a princess. Why, in the past minute alone, I'd forgotten that the sauce velouté of a blanquette de veau should be enriched with both cream and eggs. How was I to heavily criticise our chefs if I didn't know what they did wrong?
“... Ugh, very well,” I said, as the town's countryside atmosphere weighed down on me. “We must put aside the habitual inadequacies of the Adventurer's Guild for now. We have other matters to see to.”
I pointed ahead at the maze of small roads.
“Behold! The duchy has emptied itself for our benefit!”
Indeed, there were scarcely any witnesses to our arrival.
The Adventurer's Guild was not the only location closed for business. The street weaving from the town entrance should have been the centre of taxable commerce, filled with merchants eager to ensure that the highly reasonable costs of a trading permit could be paid.
There was no doubt about it. The effect of this tournament on the kingdom's bottom line was nothing short of disastrous.
All the more reason to rid this region of its errant provincial ruler, whose lax collection on behalf of the Royal Treasury meant that his entire workforce could now slack in its duties.
“Is it time to empty what's left, then?” asked Coppelia, clapping her hands together with a wide smile. “Indiscriminate looting until our pockets jingle with coin while the people cry out in debilitating poverty and babies wail into the night?”
“Well, certainly, we'll be ensuring that the Duke is unable to pay any remuneration to his staff ... and yes, there will be some minor grief until they flock to the security of the kingdom. But their financial hardship will be temporary and fully proportional.”
“Ooh … temporary and fully proportional. I like that! The next time I bonk someone on the head with my scythe, I'm going to use it.”
“Coppelia, nothing temporary will result in a … bonk by your scythe.”
“Eh, it's fine. New heads are way more affordable now.”
I raised an eyebrow.
One of these days, I'd know if she was joking or not.
As the image of a fae grabbing his sliding head and comically screwing it back on flittered through my mind, I knew that day would not be today.
Yet another memory I'd gained on this expedition that I wasn't certain was beneficial in any capacity.
“Out of morbid curiosity, if you were to lose your head, do you believe you'd be able to … stick it back on?”
Coppelia gave a tinkling laugh.
“I'm amazing, but I'm not a toy, you know? Can you not see how delicate and fragile I am? I definitely won't be able to do any circus tricks if I lose my head.”
“I've seen you perform acrobatics while on fire. Even if you lost your head, I wouldn't discount you being able to spin plates while twirling like a ballerina. Rather, I believe it'd just make your balance more fine.”
Coppelia gave a pirouette, her key briefly catching the setting sun and her smile lighting up the shadows.
“Now why would you even imagine such a scenario?” she asked, pointing at her cheeks with both hands. “If I lost my head for even a moment, the world would become a far darker place. Who has a gazillion crown smile like I do?”
I reached out, took Coppelia's hands, and then pointed her fingertips at me instead.
“Me,” I answered simply. “Why, if I wished to debase my dignity, I could easily scour clean every treasury in the continent by selling my smile.”
“Uwahh … you actually said it.”
I gave a flick of my hair. I was unrepentant. Peasants did not deny being miserable. Princesses did not deny being beautiful.
And I did not deny being the most beautiful of them all.
Indeed, even the destruction wrought by troll caravans paled in comparison to what my full strength could accomplish. If I willed it, I could bankrupt a city so fast that not even a single copper crown would remain in a gutter. Inflation, capital flight and financial collapse would follow my footsteps as suitors sought to win my hand.
“You do not see me at my finest. After all, I'm currently on an excursion to rid the realm of all the calamities seeking to lower my quality of life. My attire and my objectives do not afford me the soft and gentle appearance I ordinarily display.”
“Soft and gentle is definitely how I'd describe your chee—I mean, your magnanimous personality as you wrinkle your nose whenever a peasant walks by.”
I placed my hand atop my chest, my lips twisting to perform a mere glimpse of the most deadly weapon I possessed.
“What you see is only a fraction of my power. I wield enough allure in my smile to fell any foe who seeks to stand before me.”
“I mean, I've seen you smile a few times, but none of them have ever caused me to fall over quite yet.”
“Please, Coppelia. The extremity of my power is one I must use with utmost caution. Besides, you're my future handmaiden. I can't have you so intoxicated with my charms that you'd be unable to fulfil your basic duties.”
“I like the way you make it sound like this is a common issue.”
I sadly shook my head.
Coppelia could not know the amount of destruction my aura of charm had wrought before I learned to limit its overwhelming power.
“It's awful. The number of servants who spilled wine on me as I commanded them to adhere to my every whim is unbelievable. It's almost as if they were aiming for me!”
“That would never happen,” said Coppelia, her lips strangely quivering. “Your attendants are well paid and well treated and would never harbour an ill thought against you and your unrelenting and impractical demands.”
“Agreed. Sadly, loyalty does not mean competence. The sheer clumsiness I have to work with is astonishing. Why, just the day before I set out on this venture, I ...”
I paused.
And then I swished around.
Nothing.
Around me, only the tail of a tabby cat peeking out from a bucket could be spied in the shadows. Everywhere else, the fading light illuminated a street devoid of any people.
How strange.
For a brief moment, I felt a gaze tickling the back of my neck.
As both a princess and a beautiful maiden familiar with the unwanted glances of those around me, I'd developed a natural instinct for identifying which eyes were peering lasciviously at me at any given moment.
The one I felt just now, however, was different.
It was more … rapt. As if I was being studied from head to boot.
And yet I saw nothing but an emptied high street, its stillness broken only by Coppelia as she leaned in front of me.
“Yes?” she said, waving a hand. “Don't leave a sentence hanging like that. It might be okay here. But in Ouzelia, narrative direction requires that something dramatic happen to cut you off. Like a piano falling on top of you.”
I looked at Coppelia in horror.
Once again, her brief snippets of life in the Northern Realm of Oddballs never failed to have me appreciate my reality free of falling musical instruments.
“Are you claiming that pianos fall out of the sky in Ouzelia?”
“I mean, have you seen the size of the windows over there?”
“No.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, don't. It's easier for your mind that way. Basically, there's a reason why chiropractors all move to Ouzelia. An entire nation with neck pains. I'm not saying it's free money … but it's free money.”
I decided, there and then, that I needed to speak with Florella and Clarise as a matter of urgency. An arrangement needed to be made. Any royal duties that required travelling to that nation of weirdos would be handled by them inexplicably.
Meanwhile, I would volunteer to tour the bakeries and patisseries of the kingdom, offering my royal presence as a boon to all pastry chefs everywhere.
It seemed like a fair arrangement.
“Let's … Let's be on our way,” I said, wondering if I'd simply imagined that gaze on me. “We've tarried enough. But be warned. We must go with caution, using all the stealth and subterfuge available to us. It's imperative that the Duke's humiliation be complete.”
“Understood! Does that mean we're going to be entering the castle through a hidden tunnel? Maybe climbing down a well again?”
I offered Coppelia another glimpse of the hidden smile I showed to no one.
“Ohohoho … your jests grow ever wilder, Coppelia.”
“Eh?”
“Aquina Castle is not some nobleman's hut. It is old and storied. A monument to a time when the rulers of Aquina paid their just dues. And that meant they were refined enough to possess more elegant modes of hidden entry and exit.”
Coppelia glanced to the corner, humming to herself.
Then, she clicked her fingers.
“Ooh, I know! A secret backdoor, with a password and a bribable goon when we don't offer one!”
I nodded, satisfied that she saw the dignified mode of intrusion which waited ahead.
That's right! There was no need to climb, crawl or otherwise sully my knees! The Duchy of Aquina may currently be governed by a provincial ruler with more crowns than sense, but in past days, when the royal family of Tirea saw fit to discreetly visit the dukedoms, the postern doors were always utilised for high level meetings.
Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
And then—
I swished around in confusion.
“Coppelia … was that a duck I just heard?”
My future handmaiden nodded, twirling on the spot as she sought to identify the ducks that were very much not here.
“I think so. Do ducks just randomly wander around your towns?”
“No, I don't believe so … certainly not Aquina. Their canals are infested with carnivorous turtles.”
“Huh. Bet they'd love to try a duck. They're really tasty.”
Suddenly, Coppelia's back straightened as she snapped to attention. Her eyes opened wide in surprise, before she immediately scanned around her with renewed vigour.
After a few moments, she relaxed.
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~”
“What is it?”
Coppelia shrugged.
“Eh, it's probably nothing.”
“Coppelia, we don't have to be in Ouzelia for that to always mean it's most certainly something.”
“In that case, it's definitely something. But we won't find out until later.”
I nodded, then started making my way through Aquina's winding roads.
All the while, I could occasionally hear a duck quacking nearby.
Truly.
I could not wait to be done with this town.
kayenano
Have you guys read The Chronicles of Emberstone Farm by LinMeili yet? Because if you haven't, you should! It's a cosy farming story filled with a lovable cast, cute girls and .... farms! Go read it now!
SynopsisJoyful and fun! Like a comforting blanket that infuses you with a cheerful warmth, this is a heartwarming tale about farming, crafting, and magic.
Violet, an orphan from Earth, was just about to apply to a college when she got distracted by her favorite video game, Adventure Incarnate. When she logged into the MMORPG, she was transported into the world of the game.
Thankfully, Adventure Incarnate was a fun farming/adventure RPG, and she has an awesome cheat - her inventory is full of raw materials that she can use to level up and craft legendary items.
Join her in her lighthearted quest to become the greatest farmer of all time!
