Click.
I blinked as the noise of snapping fingers brought me to my senses.
A sensation as abrupt as it was seamless. Before the echo of the Winter Queen's snapping fingers had finished resounding in my ears, the sight of a twilight horizon through a false window had been replaced by the image of a treasury waiting to be turned over to our hard working tax inspectors.
Without a doubt … this was the most powerful ability a monarch could have!
I … I also wanted to retreat to my bedroom at will!
To snap my fingers and be done with all the mouldy ceilings, the broken tiles and the creaking wooden beams of roadside inns!
If I possessed such an ability, then not only would my travels be tolerable, but they would be semi-enjoyable! To weave between the comforts of my bedroom and the fields of my kingdom as I alternated between lying in bed and gloating at peasants was truly a … a ...
I tightly pursed my lips, preemptively stopping the drool from ruining my image.
Dangerous. Very dangerous.
Perhaps it was best such an ability wasn't given to me. Especially as I'd never get around to sentencing the oafish duke for his crimes against my patience.
He stood before me, his sneering face making me long to see the warmth of my bedroom more so than any holes in the ceiling ever could.
Even the plain white walls of the Winter Queen's retreat would suffice.
As dull as they were, I viewed the idea of staring gormlessly at a wall far higher than listening to … whatever this man was now saying.
Words as wasted as my time.
Undoubtedly, he was spouting the virtues of his barnyard duchy or his non-existent loyalty. I could see it in the way his maw was opening wide with each word he spoke, as though the size of the meals he indulged in had ruined his ability to open his mouth in any other way.
I had no need to listen. And so I raised my boot atop the snowy footstool, silencing the man as all the wrinkles on his face creased with indignation.
Here was my gavel. And what followed would be my sentence.
“Enough,” I said, my heel accidentally wedged in the snow. “You would offer cattle and peasants in exchange for a place amongst the Winter Court. Truly, I do not know whether I or the fae should feel more affronted.”
“The Duchy of Aquina is–”
“A bed of treason, led by a fool whose loyalty is worth less than the grass your livestock feeds on. Fortunately for you, I'm as generous as I'm merciful. And so as my judgement, I shall allow you to experience a glimpse of the eternity you wish for beneath the Winter Queen's gaze.”
After all, it would be poor precedent to allow such hardship suffered by this toad to go without acknowledgement.
For him. And for those who would follow.
I smiled, crossing my other foot atop the one already wedged in the stool. The oafish Duke only frowned in non-understanding.
Then, realising the meaning of my words, he swiftly turned to the Winter Queen.
Even so, there was no sweating panic upon his face. Even now, he believed he could win her over with swathes of mud trodden by pigs, goats and peasants.
It was doomed to failure. And he should know this.
Should.
Because were this even a week ago, I wouldn't have believed that such a ploy would be imagined by a duke whose greatest ambition so far was to show up late to my father’s birthday parties. And yet if the nobility in the royal capital had taught me anything, it's that they all now believed themselves to be well above their stations.
They were all fools. This one in particular.
Lacking my charisma and charms, to treat with the fae was a lesson in folly.
And one I was allowing to be taught.
“–Winter Queen,” said the Duke, far more proudly than he had any right to. “In times past, the Duchy of Aquina was a kingdom, and I am its liege by direct descent. I have pledged myself to you. In keeping with decrees older than the trees of the Wovencoille, you now hold the power to determine the course of this great land which is now yours.”
In response, the Winter Queen raised an eyebrow.
She glanced at me with arctic eyes swirling with more magic than could be found in all the mage's guilds combined. The teacup on her head shook noticeably.
“This is the Kingdom of Tirea,” she said, turning to the Duke. “And I recognise the pre-eminence of its princess.”
And then, those eyes blazed with a wintry light.
The Duke's expression shifted between outrage and disbelief as the frost began to creep up his newly worn greaves.
Yet even until the end, his pride never failed him.
“What … What is this! Stop this! Stop this at once!”
The Duke's mouth twisted with all the shades of ugliness as he sought to melt the ice with the power of his fury alone. He may very well have succeeded, were this anything but ice cast from the Winter Queen's own might.
“You cannot do this! I am the Duke … I am the King of Aquina! This … This isn't what I was promised! … You cannot do this!”
The ice turned colder still as his body fought in vain to shift against the Winter Queen's magic.
“The promises you heard were not from me,” she replied simply.
Spit and vitriol mixed to immediately form an incoherent retort as the ice rose to the Duke's torso, the frost catching his throat to muffle his last words.
In moments, winter took hold of him, his body becoming a monument to his foolishness as reality replaced that glimmer of ambition in his eyes.
The Duke looked ahead as if in a cruel dream. And when the time came that he awoke from his frozen stupor, that dream would be replaced with the reality of chains. A fitting and inglorious end to a man with more time than sense on his hands.
In mere seconds, the Winter Queen's magic was complete.
The Duke, as promised, was now unable to complain as I, and by that I mean Coppelia, hoisted him to his own dungeons.
“The exchange is complete,” said the Winter Queen, rising from her chair to a fluttering of her wings. “For my part, at least. Do try to ensure your part of the bargain, Princess of Tirea. I do hate to be bored.”
I rose with her, patting some of the snow away from my delicate part.
And then, I offered a smile.
“You're welcome to visit the Royal Villa, provided that correct procedures are followed. My bedroom boasts several bookshelves of highly educational titles, and your Custodian of Treasures has no jurisdiction to seize them.”
I caught the Winter Queen's stately expression falter, becoming more akin to a child's look of curiosity as she twisted in the air.
It was gone as sprinkles of magic formed around her mirror-like wings.
“... Be warned, Princess of Tirea, I will take up that offer.”
I returned the Winter Queen's nod, then watched as she twirled in the air one final–
“Waaaaaaaaaaait!”
Coppelia stood up, triumph written on her face as she lifted up a perfectly sculpted snow beret.
Judging by the way her arms quivered, inscribing a 104 metre long tapestry into the space of a beret had taken more energy than any endeavour I'd ever seen her do. A tragic use of her efforts. If she had time to sweat over a beret, she had time to sweat while pouring me tea to millimetre perfection while at the correct degree.
The Winter Queen paused, fluttered down, then took the beret in her hand.
Exchanging it with the teacup atop her head, she offered the piece of tableware to Coppelia before planting the carefully made hat on her head in its place.
The Winter Queen patted around until it fit smugly.
“Not bad,” she said–just before vanishing into a puff of smoke.
Clink.
In her place, a beautiful crown of white crystals fell atop her illegally made throne of coins and snow.
It glimmered with breathtaking majesty beneath the slivering moonlight streaming from the cavern's corners. Its beauty captivated the eye, while its very presence radiated with a promise of power to any who could master it.
I went over and picked up the powerful artifact.
Despite being the Crown of Winter, it wasn't cool to the touch.
Instead, an almost familiar warmth emanated from it, drawing me towards its finely crafted decorations and embellishments as I examined its immaculate design.
Then, I smiled.
“Ohohohohoho … as expected, the crown of my kingdom is better!”
Why, this one wasn't even fully intact!
One of its cusped spikes was missing! That practically made it worthless!
How delightful! Unequivocal proof that even the Fae Realm was lacking compared to my fabled kingdom … and so I placed the Crown of Winter somewhere more suitable.
The hard floor.
The crown was in my way. I needed the coins in the chair.
“Well, that was a thing,” said Coppelia, waving her newly acquired teacup in front of the frozen face of the Duke. “Sooooooo, questions … where did you go?~”
I blinked.
Why, she realised I'd been stolen away!
Even with her observation skills, I didn't expect her to catch such a momentary lapse of my presence!
Most excellent! With training, she could transfer that skill to noticing empty teacups as well! It would suit her well when she began her regular handmaiden duties in earnest.
“Oh? You noticed?” I smiled generously. “Well, if you're curious, I was actually brought to a pocket of the Fae Realm, to indulge in the twilight horizon while discussing matters of statecraft with the Winter Queen.”
“Wow! You saw the fae horizon! … Really? And you're not, you know, messed up?”
I nodded with pride.
Naturally, it was a given that I wouldn't succumb to the beauty of the Fae Realm.
As wonderful as that sky of dancing colours was, it paled in comparison to a cloudless spring day over my orchard.
“Now that explains a lot,” said Coppelia, poking the frozen Duke in his overextended belly. “Even if it didn't mess you up, it must've been an amazing sight.”
“It was undeniably fetching. While it could never hope to match the sky over any location where I walk, the Fae Realm does not exaggerate its beauty.”
“Mmh, I bet~! You see how this guy's frown has become super unflattering and uncanny?”
“Yes? What about it?”
“Because that was you.”
“... Excuse me?”
I covered my mouth with my hands.
Then, I peered closely at the frozen man whose foolishness was only amplified by the look of comical resentment he wore. It truly was hideous.
“Yeah. I mean, the old guy didn't notice. He was too busy trying to sell his dumb plan. But you were totally like this for a good two seconds. It was the worst frown you ever wore. A generous 3/10.”
I quietly groaned.
I put as much stock in my frowns as my scowls. If Coppelia with her clockwork memory had seen me falter with even a single one, then that meant ...
“... How much?” I said, looking at all the crowns around us.
“What about that fancy new ring of yours?”
Coppelia pointed at the new addition to my hand.
Far prettier than the dull copper band which disgraced my hand, this ring boasted a band of radiant silver and crystallised white rose as a gemstone.
I offered Coppelia my smile instead.
“Ohohoho … I'm afraid that this ring isn't for sale. Why, it happens to be the price I extorted from the Winter Queen for my future services rendered.”
Indeed, this ring was proof of my diplomatic victory of the Winter Court!
Forming the greater bulk of the payment from the queen whose presence was now muted as she returned to the crown, it was something which I intended to utilise before the night was done! … Indulgently!
Ohhohohoho!
“... Did you agree to something sketchy?”
“W-What! How dare … of course not!”
“Are you sureeeee?”
“I would never agree to anything … sketchy!”
“I'm just checking. Because it's the fae. And they typically get what they want. And by typically, I mean always. Are you definitely sure you still have your soul? Because you need that. You know, if you ever want to sell it to a shady demon or something.”
I waved away her concerns.
“Please, Coppelia. I'm an extremely responsible and worldly princess. I would never agree to any exchange which isn't completely stacked in my interest.”
“I offer to carry you away from one explosion for 10,000 gold crowns.”
I thought very hard.
“9,700 gold crowns,” I said, bargaining hard.
Coppelia's smile strained from my tough negotiating stance. She lifted the crystal teacup in her palms.
“Alternatively, you can appraise this instead. How many strudels do you think this is worth?”
I gave it a single glance. The most it deserved.
“Blue quartz. It's been at least two months since it was fashionable. High quality or otherwise, no baker worth our time would consider exchanging a crumb for it.”
“I mean, I'm not picky.”
“You should be. As my future handmaiden, the vendors you frequent are automatically bestowed with a royal seal of approval. Such an honour should be used sparingly.”
“Meaning we should be getting bigger discounts?”
“Considerably bigger.”
Coppelia giggled. She raised the teacup higher and examined its bottom.
“... You don't think she'll want it back after my beret melts, right? Because I'm not giving her the strudels I get for this.”
I glanced up as shimmering, dancing lights entered the treasury, discernible only when they crossed the shafts of moonlight.
“If she does, she'll need to ask for it soon,” I said, turning to the vast hoard of crowns. “Come now. We've ample work to do and little time to do it. The sooner we can rid ourselves of this barnyard castle, the better.”
Coppelia tried to stuff her teacup into a small bag by her side. A premonition of the challenge to come.
One which I greatly looked forward to.
Ohohohohohohohoho!
Indeed … it was time to rebalance the kingdom's books! And I had just the correct tool for this!
My hand reaching to my side, I prepared the item which had cost me a full hour of ceaseless haggling with troll merchants to acquire! That I initially wanted something entirely different was irrelevant!
Once again, my foresight had proved supreme!
“Behold! My bottomless pouch, which I'd clearly purchased in preparation for this one moment, will now finally be worth its exorbitant cost!”
“Oooooh ...”
Coppelia clapped–as she looked up from the floor.
She'd already begun stuffing crowns into her pockets.
“I'm helping,” she said, stuffing more coins into pockets which clearly couldn't take them. They jingled as they fell out.
I gave a quiet sigh, then kneeled down to begin my smaller share of the work.
“Of course you are. After all, one of us has to carry the Duke to the dungeons. And I'm afraid it won't be me.”
“Because~?”
“Because I lack the upper body strength to carry the frozen statue of an extremely portly man. And also because it's highly undignified for me to need to carry as much as my own cutlery while I have a perfectly capable future handmaiden to do it for me.”
“Well, it's not like you have to carry him. You can just levitate him.”
“What? With [Spring Breeze]?”
“No, I mean with [Levitate]. The actual spell.”
I gave her a look of confusion.
“I'm not a mage, Coppelia. How am I supposed to cast [Levitate]?”
“Well, I bet Miss Racy Corset could do it.”
“Who?” I frowned as I tilted my head in thought. “... Oh, Mary … Miery … Susan. The fugitive mage from Rolstein. Perhaps. But why do you bring her up?”
Coppelia beamed at me.
All of a sudden, I noticed that she was no longer focused on stuffing her pockets full of crowns.
I pursed my lips, then embraced the peace of darkness as I allowed my hand to gently cusp my face.
“You know–” began Coppelia.
“Stop.” I held up my other hand. “Don't say it.”
“Eh, why not?”
“Because as long as you don't say it, it won't come true.”
Coppelia's tinkling giggle broke through the darkness.
“This isn't Ouzelia, silly. You can't stop the narrative from happening just because you pull a break on the dialogue.”
“I can try.”
“I mean, you can. But it won't work.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I suppose since it doesn't really do much to stop a very embarrassed woman who likes to wear unbelievably scandalous undergarments from throwing a fireball at us.”
I sighed as the orange glow seeped through the curtains that were my fingertips.
And yet somehow, Coppelia's smile burned brighter.
I swear.
She was definitely going to have to carry me for free after this.
Click.
I blinked as the noise of snapping fingers brought me to my senses.
A sensation as abrupt as it was seamless. Before the echo of the Winter Queen's snapping fingers had finished resounding in my ears, the sight of a twilight horizon through a false window had been replaced by the image of a treasury waiting to be turned over to our hard working tax inspectors.
Without a doubt … this was the most powerful ability a monarch could have!
I … I also wanted to retreat to my bedroom at will!
To snap my fingers and be done with all the mouldy ceilings, the broken tiles and the creaking wooden beams of roadside inns!
If I possessed such an ability, then not only would my travels be tolerable, but they would be semi-enjoyable! To weave between the comforts of my bedroom and the fields of my kingdom as I alternated between lying in bed and gloating at peasants was truly a … a ...
I tightly pursed my lips, preemptively stopping the drool from ruining my image.
Dangerous. Very dangerous.
Perhaps it was best such an ability wasn't given to me. Especially as I'd never get around to sentencing the oafish duke for his crimes against my patience.
He stood before me, his sneering face making me long to see the warmth of my bedroom more so than any holes in the ceiling ever could.
Even the plain white walls of the Winter Queen's retreat would suffice.
As dull as they were, I viewed the idea of staring gormlessly at a wall far higher than listening to … whatever this man was now saying.
Words as wasted as my time.
Undoubtedly, he was spouting the virtues of his barnyard duchy or his non-existent loyalty. I could see it in the way his maw was opening wide with each word he spoke, as though the size of the meals he indulged in had ruined his ability to open his mouth in any other way.
I had no need to listen. And so I raised my boot atop the snowy footstool, silencing the man as all the wrinkles on his face creased with indignation.
Here was my gavel. And what followed would be my sentence.
“Enough,” I said, my heel accidentally wedged in the snow. “You would offer cattle and peasants in exchange for a place amongst the Winter Court. Truly, I do not know whether I or the fae should feel more affronted.”
“The Duchy of Aquina is–”
“A bed of treason, led by a fool whose loyalty is worth less than the grass your livestock feeds on. Fortunately for you, I'm as generous as I'm merciful. And so as my judgement, I shall allow you to experience a glimpse of the eternity you wish for beneath the Winter Queen's gaze.”
After all, it would be poor precedent to allow such hardship suffered by this toad to go without acknowledgement.
For him. And for those who would follow.
I smiled, crossing my other foot atop the one already wedged in the stool. The oafish Duke only frowned in non-understanding.
Then, realising the meaning of my words, he swiftly turned to the Winter Queen.
Even so, there was no sweating panic upon his face. Even now, he believed he could win her over with swathes of mud trodden by pigs, goats and peasants.
It was doomed to failure. And he should know this.
Should.
Because were this even a week ago, I wouldn't have believed that such a ploy would be imagined by a duke whose greatest ambition so far was to show up late to my father’s birthday parties. And yet if the nobility in the royal capital had taught me anything, it's that they all now believed themselves to be well above their stations.
They were all fools. This one in particular.
Lacking my charisma and charms, to treat with the fae was a lesson in folly.
And one I was allowing to be taught.
“–Winter Queen,” said the Duke, far more proudly than he had any right to. “In times past, the Duchy of Aquina was a kingdom, and I am its liege by direct descent. I have pledged myself to you. In keeping with decrees older than the trees of the Wovencoille, you now hold the power to determine the course of this great land which is now yours.”
In response, the Winter Queen raised an eyebrow.
She glanced at me with arctic eyes swirling with more magic than could be found in all the mage's guilds combined. The teacup on her head shook noticeably.
“This is the Kingdom of Tirea,” she said, turning to the Duke. “And I recognise the pre-eminence of its princess.”
And then, those eyes blazed with a wintry light.
The Duke's expression shifted between outrage and disbelief as the frost began to creep up his newly worn greaves.
Yet even until the end, his pride never failed him.
“What … What is this! Stop this! Stop this at once!”
The Duke's mouth twisted with all the shades of ugliness as he sought to melt the ice with the power of his fury alone. He may very well have succeeded, were this anything but ice cast from the Winter Queen's own might.
“You cannot do this! I am the Duke … I am the King of Aquina! This … This isn't what I was promised! … You cannot do this!”
The ice turned colder still as his body fought in vain to shift against the Winter Queen's magic.
“The promises you heard were not from me,” she replied simply.
Spit and vitriol mixed to immediately form an incoherent retort as the ice rose to the Duke's torso, the frost catching his throat to muffle his last words.
In moments, winter took hold of him, his body becoming a monument to his foolishness as reality replaced that glimmer of ambition in his eyes.
The Duke looked ahead as if in a cruel dream. And when the time came that he awoke from his frozen stupor, that dream would be replaced with the reality of chains. A fitting and inglorious end to a man with more time than sense on his hands.
In mere seconds, the Winter Queen's magic was complete.
The Duke, as promised, was now unable to complain as I, and by that I mean Coppelia, hoisted him to his own dungeons.
“The exchange is complete,” said the Winter Queen, rising from her chair to a fluttering of her wings. “For my part, at least. Do try to ensure your part of the bargain, Princess of Tirea. I do hate to be bored.”
I rose with her, patting some of the snow away from my delicate part.
And then, I offered a smile.
“You're welcome to visit the Royal Villa, provided that correct procedures are followed. My bedroom boasts several bookshelves of highly educational titles, and your Custodian of Treasures has no jurisdiction to seize them.”
I caught the Winter Queen's stately expression falter, becoming more akin to a child's look of curiosity as she twisted in the air.
It was gone as sprinkles of magic formed around her mirror-like wings.
“... Be warned, Princess of Tirea, I will take up that offer.”
I returned the Winter Queen's nod, then watched as she twirled in the air one final–
“Waaaaaaaaaaait!”
Coppelia stood up, triumph written on her face as she lifted up a perfectly sculpted snow beret.
Judging by the way her arms quivered, inscribing a 104 metre long tapestry into the space of a beret had taken more energy than any endeavour I'd ever seen her do. A tragic use of her efforts. If she had time to sweat over a beret, she had time to sweat while pouring me tea to millimetre perfection while at the correct degree.
The Winter Queen paused, fluttered down, then took the beret in her hand.
Exchanging it with the teacup atop her head, she offered the piece of tableware to Coppelia before planting the carefully made hat on her head in its place.
The Winter Queen patted around until it fit smugly.
“Not bad,” she said–just before vanishing into a puff of smoke.
Clink.
In her place, a beautiful crown of white crystals fell atop her illegally made throne of coins and snow.
It glimmered with breathtaking majesty beneath the slivering moonlight streaming from the cavern's corners. Its beauty captivated the eye, while its very presence radiated with a promise of power to any who could master it.
I went over and picked up the powerful artifact.
Despite being the Crown of Winter, it wasn't cool to the touch.
Instead, an almost familiar warmth emanated from it, drawing me towards its finely crafted decorations and embellishments as I examined its immaculate design.
Then, I smiled.
“Ohohohohoho … as expected, the crown of my kingdom is better!”
Why, this one wasn't even fully intact!
One of its cusped spikes was missing! That practically made it worthless!
How delightful! Unequivocal proof that even the Fae Realm was lacking compared to my fabled kingdom … and so I placed the Crown of Winter somewhere more suitable.
The hard floor.
The crown was in my way. I needed the coins in the chair.
“Well, that was a thing,” said Coppelia, waving her newly acquired teacup in front of the frozen face of the Duke. “Sooooooo, questions … where did you go?~”
I blinked.
Why, she realised I'd been stolen away!
Even with her observation skills, I didn't expect her to catch such a momentary lapse of my presence!
Most excellent! With training, she could transfer that skill to noticing empty teacups as well! It would suit her well when she began her regular handmaiden duties in earnest.
“Oh? You noticed?” I smiled generously. “Well, if you're curious, I was actually brought to a pocket of the Fae Realm, to indulge in the twilight horizon while discussing matters of statecraft with the Winter Queen.”
“Wow! You saw the fae horizon! … Really? And you're not, you know, messed up?”
I nodded with pride.
Naturally, it was a given that I wouldn't succumb to the beauty of the Fae Realm.
As wonderful as that sky of dancing colours was, it paled in comparison to a cloudless spring day over my orchard.
“Now that explains a lot,” said Coppelia, poking the frozen Duke in his overextended belly. “Even if it didn't mess you up, it must've been an amazing sight.”
“It was undeniably fetching. While it could never hope to match the sky over any location where I walk, the Fae Realm does not exaggerate its beauty.”
“Mmh, I bet~! You see how this guy's frown has become super unflattering and uncanny?”
“Yes? What about it?”
“Because that was you.”
“... Excuse me?”
I covered my mouth with my hands.
Then, I peered closely at the frozen man whose foolishness was only amplified by the look of comical resentment he wore. It truly was hideous.
“Yeah. I mean, the old guy didn't notice. He was too busy trying to sell his dumb plan. But you were totally like this for a good two seconds. It was the worst frown you ever wore. A generous 3/10.”
I quietly groaned.
I put as much stock in my frowns as my scowls. If Coppelia with her clockwork memory had seen me falter with even a single one, then that meant ...
“... How much?” I said, looking at all the crowns around us.
“What about that fancy new ring of yours?”
Coppelia pointed at the new addition to my hand.
Far prettier than the dull copper band which disgraced my hand, this ring boasted a band of radiant silver and crystallised white rose as a gemstone.
I offered Coppelia my smile instead.
“Ohohoho … I'm afraid that this ring isn't for sale. Why, it happens to be the price I extorted from the Winter Queen for my future services rendered.”
Indeed, this ring was proof of my diplomatic victory of the Winter Court!
Forming the greater bulk of the payment from the queen whose presence was now muted as she returned to the crown, it was something which I intended to utilise before the night was done! … Indulgently!
Ohhohohoho!
“... Did you agree to something sketchy?”
“W-What! How dare … of course not!”
“Are you sureeeee?”
“I would never agree to anything … sketchy!”
“I'm just checking. Because it's the fae. And they typically get what they want. And by typically, I mean always. Are you definitely sure you still have your soul? Because you need that. You know, if you ever want to sell it to a shady demon or something.”
I waved away her concerns.
“Please, Coppelia. I'm an extremely responsible and worldly princess. I would never agree to any exchange which isn't completely stacked in my interest.”
“I offer to carry you away from one explosion for 10,000 gold crowns.”
I thought very hard.
“9,700 gold crowns,” I said, bargaining hard.
Coppelia's smile strained from my tough negotiating stance. She lifted the crystal teacup in her palms.
“Alternatively, you can appraise this instead. How many strudels do you think this is worth?”
I gave it a single glance. The most it deserved.
“Blue quartz. It's been at least two months since it was fashionable. High quality or otherwise, no baker worth our time would consider exchanging a crumb for it.”
“I mean, I'm not picky.”
“You should be. As my future handmaiden, the vendors you frequent are automatically bestowed with a royal seal of approval. Such an honour should be used sparingly.”
“Meaning we should be getting bigger discounts?”
“Considerably bigger.”
Coppelia giggled. She raised the teacup higher and examined its bottom.
“... You don't think she'll want it back after my beret melts, right? Because I'm not giving her the strudels I get for this.”
I glanced up as shimmering, dancing lights entered the treasury, discernible only when they crossed the shafts of moonlight.
“If she does, she'll need to ask for it soon,” I said, turning to the vast hoard of crowns. “Come now. We've ample work to do and little time to do it. The sooner we can rid ourselves of this barnyard castle, the better.”
Coppelia tried to stuff her teacup into a small bag by her side. A premonition of the challenge to come.
One which I greatly looked forward to.
Ohohohohohohohoho!
Indeed … it was time to rebalance the kingdom's books! And I had just the correct tool for this!
My hand reaching to my side, I prepared the item which had cost me a full hour of ceaseless haggling with troll merchants to acquire! That I initially wanted something entirely different was irrelevant!
Once again, my foresight had proved supreme!
“Behold! My bottomless pouch, which I'd clearly purchased in preparation for this one moment, will now finally be worth its exorbitant cost!”
“Oooooh ...”
Coppelia clapped–as she looked up from the floor.
She'd already begun stuffing crowns into her pockets.
“I'm helping,” she said, stuffing more coins into pockets which clearly couldn't take them. They jingled as they fell out.
I gave a quiet sigh, then kneeled down to begin my smaller share of the work.
“Of course you are. After all, one of us has to carry the Duke to the dungeons. And I'm afraid it won't be me.”
“Because~?”
“Because I lack the upper body strength to carry the frozen statue of an extremely portly man. And also because it's highly undignified for me to need to carry as much as my own cutlery while I have a perfectly capable future handmaiden to do it for me.”
“Well, it's not like you have to carry him. You can just levitate him.”
“What? With [Spring Breeze]?”
“No, I mean with [Levitate]. The actual spell.”
I gave her a look of confusion.
“I'm not a mage, Coppelia. How am I supposed to cast [Levitate]?”
“Well, I bet Miss Racy Corset could do it.”
“Who?” I frowned as I tilted my head in thought. “... Oh, Mary … Miery … Susan. The fugitive mage from Rolstein. Perhaps. But why do you bring her up?”
Coppelia beamed at me.
All of a sudden, I noticed that she was no longer focused on stuffing her pockets full of crowns.
I pursed my lips, then embraced the peace of darkness as I allowed my hand to gently cusp my face.
“You know–” began Coppelia.
“Stop.” I held up my other hand. “Don't say it.”
“Eh, why not?”
“Because as long as you don't say it, it won't come true.”
Coppelia's tinkling giggle broke through the darkness.
“This isn't Ouzelia, silly. You can't stop the narrative from happening just because you pull a break on the dialogue.”
“I can try.”
“I mean, you can. But it won't work.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I suppose since it doesn't really do much to stop a very embarrassed woman who likes to wear unbelievably scandalous undergarments from throwing a fireball at us.”
I sighed as the orange glow seeped through the curtains that were my fingertips.
And yet somehow, Coppelia's smile burned brighter.
I swear.
She was definitely going to have to carry me for free after this.
