Chapter 44: The day I went to the pool. (Determination.)
Lunch break.
With all of the parents joining force to calm the children that hasn’t played enough yet down, we head toward rest area.
“……I’m exhausted.”
Yui-chan muttered limply.
At first she’s wearing the float ring around her waist but now she’s hugging it with her left hand. The sunflowers pattern on her float, it seems as if they’re weakened and withered.
Although Yui-chan practiced desperately, but unfortunately it seems like she can’t swim yet. However, I think there’s still a chance for her. So I’d like her to get back to her cheerful self and give her best in the afternoon too.
On the other hand. Misaki after she was able to swim she seems to be a bit happy about it, but her excitement doesn’t seems to last long. Right now she’s looking at Yui-chan with worried eyes.
“Still not yetー?”
A kid somewhere said in a loud voice, maybe because he can’t endure it anymore.
At this rest area, they have tables enough for about a hundred pair of people here. Despite that they’ve only about two shops here, resulting in a very long queue. And since these shops use meal tickets instead of money, so of course there’s a line for exchanging meal tickets too, and after that they’ll have to queue up for these shops and that’s where I am right now. Even for me who’s an adult also thinks that this is a long waiting time, so for the kids that must felt a lot longer than me.
“Umm, I’ll be waiting here, so you all can go together with your children and wait somewhere else.”
And so Tec-chan suggest
“It’s okay, I’m still fine.”
“There’s still a long line ahead right. there’s a stairway near the entrance so please wait there, if it takes too long like thirty minutes you should wait there.”
But still, there’s still some parents that hesitate.
It was their kids that pulled their hands, saying mama let’s goー, and also pushing their back.
“I’m so sorry……”
The parents bowed, then
“Papa! Can I also go play too!?”
“Sure you can, be safe.”
A boy pulled on Tec-chan arm, and so he kindly give the boy an okay sign. The boy’s face is plastered with joy, and went together with the group.
“Tendou-san, you should go too.”
“No, I’ll be waiting here. Misaki also…… Especially, Yui-chan seems to be tired already so.”
I said, and look at Yui-chan who’s standing listlessly.
“I see.”
Tec-chan look at Yui-chan, and his usual faint smile floats on his face, then his eyes turn back to me. And in that exact moment, the queue moved for a bit. Tec-chan walks one step further, and so I followed him and so the same. And after me, Yui-chan also walks a step forward with Misaki pushing her.
“Seems like it’s still a long way to go.”
“Yes, seems like it.”
After just two sentences, our conversation stopped abruptly.
The only kids waiting in the line are only Yui-chan and Misaki.
As for adults there’s me and Tec-chan, and also other two male parent that I didn’t know the name. I guess they’re friends, seeing as they seems to be having fun talking to each other just now. As for me I’ve only ever greeted them, our relationship isn’t one that talks actively to each other. The only other person I’ve talked to actively so far is only Tec-chan.
……That’s right.
“Tec-chi, no that’s not it, Nakura-san, can you lend an ear for me?”
“Sure. What is it?”
And while still in this long queue. Various sounds can be heard from around us. However in this moment, as if there’s only two of us here, both of us can only hear each other’s voice.
There’s some nervousness in me, however I still opened my mouth, speaking in a soft tone.
“Why, do you always put some distance between you and your kids?”
“……”
I wonder if it’s too straightfoward, or is it just that my meaning isn’t conveyed to him properly.
“I can’t put this into words very well but…… Seeing how you talks, I just feels like there’s a sense of distance between two of you.”
Tec-chan’s expression hasn’t changed a bit.
Well that’s a given. There’s no context here in the first place, if you got asked this question from someone who you only talks with for a bit, anyone wouldn’t know how to react to this. Or rather the fact that he isn’t angry is a blessing. A blunder, this is completely a big blunder.
“……I’m sorry, perhaps it’s just my imagination. Please forget it.”
“No.”
Unable to withstand this awkward atmosphere, I intened to stop this from getting further.
However, Tec-chan refused what I said.
“You’re correct, Tendou-san. It’s exactly as you said.”
“……Ummmm.”
“Perhaps I really do put distances with my son.”
I took a deep breath.
I can’t tell what Tec-chan’s thinking at all, both from what he said and his facial expression.
However, I can still sense the heaviness from his voice.
“I too have a daughter, about as big as Tendou-san’s daughter. I raised her pouring all of my love I have to offer to her, but maybe I interfere with her life too much. As of now, she completely hated me.”
Said Tec-chan, without any hesitation, all the while not a single change in his expression.
“That’s why, maybe I’m scared.”
That was a big shock. I’ve always, thought of Tec-chan as a guy with weak-presence face, that’s my impression of him. But at the same time, I also held a high respect for him.
That’s because, he looked exactly just like an ideal parent, a normal one, and a natural one.
When I was a kid, I’ve always thought of adults as a perfect superhuman that can do anything and everything, surely anyone has that thought in their life at least once. And just like that thought, I’ve thought of Tec-chan as a splendid parent. Thought of him as a legit adult. But to think that, he’s actually also afraid of raising a child just like me, honestly surprised me.
My reply, it hasn’t popped up in my mind at first. That’s why I put my mind thinking really hard for one, and finally a reply is at my mouth.
“……What do you think, about the kids.”
“That’s a difficult question. If I were to put it into words then…… An existence important than my own life, that should be the answer.”
“……”
“Although I’m completely hated by my own daughter, but still, my feelings toward her hasn’t change since the time I’m still on good terms with her. It sure is a mysterious thing isn’t it, hahaha.”
Tec-chan laughs it off, as if to avoid the subject.
“……You know what you’re a really amazing parent.”
“My my, I’m not worth of such words.”
“That’s what I really thinks. To be able to attend events like this together with your kids. That, I think it’s really something.”
All the thoughts in my mind, I keep speaking them out.
“Memories like these, surely it’ll be an irreplacable memory for the kids in the future.”
Looking back at my empty past,
“As they grow into adults, they’ll never have this kind of experience again.”
For me, if I compared myself to Tec-chan then I’m about as young as his daughter.
However, if compared to Misaki then only my age is an adult.
That’s why, I can imagine it. That’s why I can speak these heavy words out.
“……Is that so.”
Tec-chan muttered and ponder with himself, as I thought I don’t know what he’s thinking at all.
Maybe he’s just laughing his ass off as some dumb kid is saying something cocky to him.
Maybe he’s really thinking that.
As for me――
“Yui-chan.”
Ever since I arrived at the pool, I’ve been teaching Yui-chan how to swim all this time. I’ve been watching her practicing seriously, and I knows that she sometimes will take a look at the parent and kid couple when she heard their voices. I also knows that she force herself to make a smile.
“……What is it.”
“Your mama, do you love her?”
“I love her a lot!”
Yui-chan who was dispirited just now, has became energetic immediately, when her mama’s name was brought up.
“……I see.”
Just not long ago, when I talked to that person I couldn’t said a thing.
But, I can understand it now. Clearly.
That person is the one at fault here.
That person is a much more splendid human than I do. If I compare myself to her, surely I’m just like a kid to her. And what the kid thinks, the adult would always know it naturally. On top of that, she plans for the better future, and chose to go that path. I know at least that much. But still, all of that doesn’t matter.
Me right now, I can’t forgive this reality in front of my eyes.
That’s enough for an argument, as far as reason goes.
“……Misaki?”
When I finally noticed, Misaki has been staring hard at me.
And as if she see through my heart, she nods.
I laughs for a bit, and said thanks to Misaki.
There’s still queue ahead of me.
I raise my head up, following the back of the person in front of me.
And at that time, I’ve already decided.
Chapter 44: The day I went to the pool. (Determination.)
Lunch break.
With all of the parents joining force to calm the children that hasn’t played enough yet down, we head toward rest area.
“……I’m exhausted.”
Yui-chan muttered limply.
At first she’s wearing the float ring around her waist but now she’s hugging it with her left hand. The sunflowers pattern on her float, it seems as if they’re weakened and withered.
Although Yui-chan practiced desperately, but unfortunately it seems like she can’t swim yet. However, I think there’s still a chance for her. So I’d like her to get back to her cheerful self and give her best in the afternoon too.
On the other hand. Misaki after she was able to swim she seems to be a bit happy about it, but her excitement doesn’t seems to last long. Right now she’s looking at Yui-chan with worried eyes.
“Still not yetー?”
A kid somewhere said in a loud voice, maybe because he can’t endure it anymore.
At this rest area, they have tables enough for about a hundred pair of people here. Despite that they’ve only about two shops here, resulting in a very long queue. And since these shops use meal tickets instead of money, so of course there’s a line for exchanging meal tickets too, and after that they’ll have to queue up for these shops and that’s where I am right now. Even for me who’s an adult also thinks that this is a long waiting time, so for the kids that must felt a lot longer than me.
“Umm, I’ll be waiting here, so you all can go together with your children and wait somewhere else.”
And so Tec-chan suggest
“It’s okay, I’m still fine.”
“There’s still a long line ahead right. there’s a stairway near the entrance so please wait there, if it takes too long like thirty minutes you should wait there.”
But still, there’s still some parents that hesitate.
It was their kids that pulled their hands, saying mama let’s goー, and also pushing their back.
“I’m so sorry……”
The parents bowed, then
“Papa! Can I also go play too!?”
“Sure you can, be safe.”
A boy pulled on Tec-chan arm, and so he kindly give the boy an okay sign. The boy’s face is plastered with joy, and went together with the group.
“Tendou-san, you should go too.”
“No, I’ll be waiting here. Misaki also…… Especially, Yui-chan seems to be tired already so.”
I said, and look at Yui-chan who’s standing listlessly.
“I see.”
Tec-chan look at Yui-chan, and his usual faint smile floats on his face, then his eyes turn back to me. And in that exact moment, the queue moved for a bit. Tec-chan walks one step further, and so I followed him and so the same. And after me, Yui-chan also walks a step forward with Misaki pushing her.
“Seems like it’s still a long way to go.”
“Yes, seems like it.”
After just two sentences, our conversation stopped abruptly.
The only kids waiting in the line are only Yui-chan and Misaki.
As for adults there’s me and Tec-chan, and also other two male parent that I didn’t know the name. I guess they’re friends, seeing as they seems to be having fun talking to each other just now. As for me I’ve only ever greeted them, our relationship isn’t one that talks actively to each other. The only other person I’ve talked to actively so far is only Tec-chan.
……That’s right.
“Tec-chi, no that’s not it, Nakura-san, can you lend an ear for me?”
“Sure. What is it?”
And while still in this long queue. Various sounds can be heard from around us. However in this moment, as if there’s only two of us here, both of us can only hear each other’s voice.
There’s some nervousness in me, however I still opened my mouth, speaking in a soft tone.
“Why, do you always put some distance between you and your kids?”
“……”
I wonder if it’s too straightfoward, or is it just that my meaning isn’t conveyed to him properly.
“I can’t put this into words very well but…… Seeing how you talks, I just feels like there’s a sense of distance between two of you.”
Tec-chan’s expression hasn’t changed a bit.
Well that’s a given. There’s no context here in the first place, if you got asked this question from someone who you only talks with for a bit, anyone wouldn’t know how to react to this. Or rather the fact that he isn’t angry is a blessing. A blunder, this is completely a big blunder.
“……I’m sorry, perhaps it’s just my imagination. Please forget it.”
“No.”
Unable to withstand this awkward atmosphere, I intened to stop this from getting further.
However, Tec-chan refused what I said.
“You’re correct, Tendou-san. It’s exactly as you said.”
“……Ummmm.”
“Perhaps I really do put distances with my son.”
I took a deep breath.
I can’t tell what Tec-chan’s thinking at all, both from what he said and his facial expression.
However, I can still sense the heaviness from his voice.
“I too have a daughter, about as big as Tendou-san’s daughter. I raised her pouring all of my love I have to offer to her, but maybe I interfere with her life too much. As of now, she completely hated me.”
Said Tec-chan, without any hesitation, all the while not a single change in his expression.
“That’s why, maybe I’m scared.”
That was a big shock. I’ve always, thought of Tec-chan as a guy with weak-presence face, that’s my impression of him. But at the same time, I also held a high respect for him.
That’s because, he looked exactly just like an ideal parent, a normal one, and a natural one.
When I was a kid, I’ve always thought of adults as a perfect superhuman that can do anything and everything, surely anyone has that thought in their life at least once. And just like that thought, I’ve thought of Tec-chan as a splendid parent. Thought of him as a legit adult. But to think that, he’s actually also afraid of raising a child just like me, honestly surprised me.
My reply, it hasn’t popped up in my mind at first. That’s why I put my mind thinking really hard for one, and finally a reply is at my mouth.
“……What do you think, about the kids.”
“That’s a difficult question. If I were to put it into words then…… An existence important than my own life, that should be the answer.”
“……”
“Although I’m completely hated by my own daughter, but still, my feelings toward her hasn’t change since the time I’m still on good terms with her. It sure is a mysterious thing isn’t it, hahaha.”
Tec-chan laughs it off, as if to avoid the subject.
“……You know what you’re a really amazing parent.”
“My my, I’m not worth of such words.”
“That’s what I really thinks. To be able to attend events like this together with your kids. That, I think it’s really something.”
All the thoughts in my mind, I keep speaking them out.
“Memories like these, surely it’ll be an irreplacable memory for the kids in the future.”
Looking back at my empty past,
“As they grow into adults, they’ll never have this kind of experience again.”
For me, if I compared myself to Tec-chan then I’m about as young as his daughter.
However, if compared to Misaki then only my age is an adult.
That’s why, I can imagine it. That’s why I can speak these heavy words out.
“……Is that so.”
Tec-chan muttered and ponder with himself, as I thought I don’t know what he’s thinking at all.
Maybe he’s just laughing his ass off as some dumb kid is saying something cocky to him.
Maybe he’s really thinking that.
As for me――
“Yui-chan.”
Ever since I arrived at the pool, I’ve been teaching Yui-chan how to swim all this time. I’ve been watching her practicing seriously, and I knows that she sometimes will take a look at the parent and kid couple when she heard their voices. I also knows that she force herself to make a smile.
“……What is it.”
“Your mama, do you love her?”
“I love her a lot!”
Yui-chan who was dispirited just now, has became energetic immediately, when her mama’s name was brought up.
“……I see.”
Just not long ago, when I talked to that person I couldn’t said a thing.
But, I can understand it now. Clearly.
That person is the one at fault here.
That person is a much more splendid human than I do. If I compare myself to her, surely I’m just like a kid to her. And what the kid thinks, the adult would always know it naturally. On top of that, she plans for the better future, and chose to go that path. I know at least that much. But still, all of that doesn’t matter.
Me right now, I can’t forgive this reality in front of my eyes.
That’s enough for an argument, as far as reason goes.
“……Misaki?”
When I finally noticed, Misaki has been staring hard at me.
And as if she see through my heart, she nods.
I laughs for a bit, and said thanks to Misaki.
There’s still queue ahead of me.
I raise my head up, following the back of the person in front of me.
And at that time, I’ve already decided.
