The peaceful days bored me and plunged me back into the eternal boredom that I was trying to avoid. Yule kept me company, but some weird noises that I found hard to interpret didn’t help much in elevating my dullness and perhaps lethargy. Today, I was slightly more elated than usual because the day signified the end of my lady’s exam and, with that, the resumption of my machinations in aiding her to become an ideal villainess.
Of course, it took longer than I expected. Nevertheless, as you know, one thing I have is time. Waiting for a few days hardly sounds like a chore.
“I don’t know, mongrel!” Letitia screamed at me. A terrible way to start a morning, but I wasn’t complaining. “Why did you let me sleep last night?! Didn’t I tell you to keep me awake?!”
“I fell asleep, my lady,” I said, rubbing my eyes. I had just woken up, and it was too early in the morning for a rebuke. Somehow my thoughts or my movements had woken her up. The former was unlikely but not entirely impossible. She had guessed my identity right, after all. And I hadn’t been able to find out how she had done it.
“What?” her eyes widened at the remark. “What’s with that nonchalance?! I have my test today, and I am halfway across the coursework! How do you expect me to clear the exam?! You can’t even make me memorize simple articles, and now, you don’t even help me wake up. How did I come to like such a worthless man?!”
“You’ll be fine,” I smiled and tied her disarrayed hair to a bun. “You have worked hard enough to pass. If you still don’t, then I’ll torture the mages of the Academy to give you a passing grade. Always doing the right thing is for the corpses, my lady.”
She pushed me to the bed and bit my neck. Her eyes were squinted in fury when she gazed back at me.“I’ll ravage you if I don’t clear the exam.”
“That won’t be necessary, my lady,” I rubbed her head, ignoring the tingling sensation in my neck. “You will clear the exams.”
I was, as usual, least bothered about the ways of the world. It was for mortals, and my villainess was above them. The reason why she attached so much significance to clearing the exam was because of the permit. If she fails, she won’t be able to erect stalls for confectionaries and has to beg a higher noble to oversee her store. I was happy as long as I ate my lady’s bread. Confectionaries or not weren’t my concern.
She untied her hair and glared at me. “Get rid of that smug! Or you’ll be tying my hair over and over again.”
Such a horrendous morning was marked by her nervousness when we reached the Academy. Casey and Beth weren’t any better, but the rest of the class was brimming with excitement. Most of them knew more than just the kingdom’s history, for they studied it with great enthusiasm. And perhaps, the forlorn expression of the three bullies of the Academy might have something to do with the cheerful ambiance.
You see, mortals revel in the misery of each other. In the misery of enemies, I correct. They act all condescending, but underneath all the pretense, there is always a concealed smile. And calculated one at that, unlike undead, because we smile at every funeral. Of course, reveling in the hypocrisy of mortals. You might tell me that even I enjoy butchering my enemies. Alas, I relish killing every pesky mortal, so nemesis or not doesn’t make much difference to me.
I sat under the nameless tree, as usual, spying on the classroom with my [Devil eye]. Nothing new there, but I had forgone my breakfast since I hadn’t gotten rid of my smugness. I knew my lady would clear the exam, so there was no need for modesty. She had little faith in herself, and I would address it eventually. Arrogance was a better option than not trusting oneself. And I would hone my lady’s egotism so that she wouldn’t spare the mortals a second glance.
“I hope you aren’t scared already,” Poisor, their homeroom teacher, said with amusement. “If you have heard the lectures for the past four years, getting a full score on the test is easier than learning Apprentice tier spells. But,” his eyes paused on the villainess noble girls, “not everyone was attentive during the lectures. Exploiting the power backing them comes naturally to many. You should take a good look at your fellow classmates and filter out the kind of person you would never want to become. That way, at least, you will attach some worth to the rubbish bunch.”
Implicitly everyone knew what the bastard Poisor was implying. Even the heroine, because her face contorted in anger even though the comment wasn’t directed at her. Indeed, the epitome of kindness. My lady and her two friends ignored the homeroom mage completely, not sparing him a second glance. That did the job because he stopped muttering baseless words and resorted to giving actual instructions about the exam.
“Six papers in four hourglasses; the military tactics and history has been combined into a single paper as well as gen on spells and royal ancestry,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “We expect you to know every major figure of the past and present Arlikian politics and the entire geography of the kingdom. If you are lax in answering the question, then we’ll be lax while grading, so write your answers accordingly. If you write more than necessary, expect to lose marks. Less, then we won’t take a second glance. We expect ideal length, and your days in the Academy should have taught you how to be succinct. The King doesn’t have all the time in the world to read your ramblings. And neither do we.”
That earned him some sighs and scowls, but he ignored them. “Wish you luck with your exams. Gen on spells will be the first test. My subject, so be sure not to disappoint me.”
Nods of acknowledgment followed, and silence descended in the room as the homeroom mage walked out. After almost a dozen minutes, Poisor returned, and this time, along with two more mages. They roamed around each of the chairs, checking their seats, hands, and clothes for the guys. My lady glared at the mage who had almost touched her hands, and he silently retreated after a hateful glance. Even though the Valorant mansion had lost prestige, it was still the Marquis mansion.
I sat atop my lady’s shoulder and glanced at the paper once she had gotten it.
“Mongrel,” my lady whispered, almost kissing the [Devil eye] as she turned to her right. That would have been bad because it was grotesquely maimed red-eye with throbbing blood vessels. “I’ll lock you in the mansion if I fail. Don’t you dare tell me I am unreasonable!”
I smiled and floated to my lady’s head, watching the paper with boredom.
Which spells would you consider necessary to become a vendor? Elaborate on any two types and write the spells needed.
That wasn’t a hard question, and by my lady’s writing pace, I reasoned that she didn’t have any problems with the question either. As for my answer, I would never become a vendor in the first place, so there’s no point in coming up with a hypothetical solution. Baker was also out of the question, but I could always become the analyst of the bakehouses. Tasting bread comes naturally to me, after all.
You can call me a genius bread taster, and I would gladly accept the compliment.
Pseudo-summoning spells are a sub-class of Summoning spells. They are very similar, but not entirely, and they are very different from special spells. Elaborate on the difference. Why are Pseudo-summoning spells considered safer than summoning spells?
There were eight more questions left, and my lady was writing at a snail’s pace. I nudged her with my [Devil eye], and with a scowl, she increased her pace. Her fountain pen even fumbled in her hands a couple of times.
Rituals are evil. What are the reasons for the conclusion? Write a brief description on Essence Gourge.
I had already taught my lady about Essence Gourge, so the question didn’t pose many problems. The rest of the queries were on the royal family, which I was the least inclined to read. I didn’t want to know about some crazy monarchs of the kingdom and their many wives. Worthless mortals and their history were not the concern of common undead, even if history might help me turn the tides of many battles in the future.
As I always say, I’m not a strategist. I see, I slaughter. There’s nothing better than brute force when you don’t die.
The exams continued on and on, and the afternoon break didn’t really seem like one. My lady had performed surprisingly well in most of the subjects. The third paper on military strategies proved to be her favorite as she breezed through the questions without pausing for thought. A particular one even pulled my attention.
How would you safeguard the kingdom and throne if you, as the sole loyal general to the King, were forced to fight on the front lines?
The answer was easy. Kill every single person who wants to usurp the throne. And if the masses oppose it, kill them too. But my lady wasn’t writing a truthful response, and I didn’t read more than a couple of lines. Strategies were boring.
The exams had concluded by evenfall, and the three girls walked out with bright smiles. I was already at the gates, not wanting my lady to take a detour after a tiring day.
“Ruddy,” Casey smiled at me as she rubbed her hands for warmth. “Never thought I’d see you without your emergency bread.”
I touched my coat and smiled. “I ate the only one a few hours ago. I was bored, lady Casey.”
“Rudolf,” my lady said with her uncharacteristic smile. “Your first concern should always be me. Casey’s answer can wait.”
“Leti!” Casey frowned and punched my lady’s shoulder lightly. “I am your friend.”
“Yes,” my lady nodded, “but Rudolf is mine.”
“Stop battling over that bread fanatic,” Beth rolled her eyes. “I haven’t seen the pervert in so long. Is he still out on a mission?”
“Missed me already, lady Beth?” Garlan poked his head out of the booth. “Everyone loves Garlan, I know.”
“Bread lad,” I stared at him in surprise. “When did you return?”
“This morning, Rudolf,” he left the booth, scratching his bulging tummy. “Learned my first progressive spell, [Umbra], yesterday. So, I have been busy collecting some money off my wood-modifying services.”
The three girls’ eyes lit up, and they smiled at each other.
“How much did you earn, pervert?” Beth asked as he placed her hands on her waist.
My bread lad laughed. “I’m not stupid to keep the money in my hands, lady Beth. Knowing that there are three greedy eyes staring at my pockets. Spent it all on ale and wooing Cair yesterday.”
Beth clicked her tongue. “Commoner Cair will have a miserable life. Offer my condolences to her.”
My lady giggled and held my hand discreetly. “All men will make a maiden girl’s life miserable. My Rudolf being the only exception.”
Garlan scowled at my grin while the two girls rolled their eyes in unison.
“What did you do to her during the trip, Ruddy?” Casey asked, casting me an accusatory glance. “Our Leti never used to flirt in public.”
“She’s not flirting, lady Casey,” I said. “My lady is just stating the facts.”
“Yes,” Beth rolled her eyes. “Like people stick together. Never knew narcissists did too.”
My lady didn’t rebuke her, and we parted ways amicably. She took me to my favorite bakehouse and clinked our bracelets with a smile.
“If you need bread, just clink your bracelet with mine,” my lady said. “I’ll buy you some.”
“The bracelets will break, my lady,” I shrugged. “Or your wrist might start hurting. My need for bread is never-ending.”
The peaceful days bored me and plunged me back into the eternal boredom that I was trying to avoid. Yule kept me company, but some weird noises that I found hard to interpret didn’t help much in elevating my dullness and perhaps lethargy. Today, I was slightly more elated than usual because the day signified the end of my lady’s exam and, with that, the resumption of my machinations in aiding her to become an ideal villainess.
Of course, it took longer than I expected. Nevertheless, as you know, one thing I have is time. Waiting for a few days hardly sounds like a chore.
“I don’t know, mongrel!” Letitia screamed at me. A terrible way to start a morning, but I wasn’t complaining. “Why did you let me sleep last night?! Didn’t I tell you to keep me awake?!”
“I fell asleep, my lady,” I said, rubbing my eyes. I had just woken up, and it was too early in the morning for a rebuke. Somehow my thoughts or my movements had woken her up. The former was unlikely but not entirely impossible. She had guessed my identity right, after all. And I hadn’t been able to find out how she had done it.
“What?” her eyes widened at the remark. “What’s with that nonchalance?! I have my test today, and I am halfway across the coursework! How do you expect me to clear the exam?! You can’t even make me memorize simple articles, and now, you don’t even help me wake up. How did I come to like such a worthless man?!”
“You’ll be fine,” I smiled and tied her disarrayed hair to a bun. “You have worked hard enough to pass. If you still don’t, then I’ll torture the mages of the Academy to give you a passing grade. Always doing the right thing is for the corpses, my lady.”
She pushed me to the bed and bit my neck. Her eyes were squinted in fury when she gazed back at me.“I’ll ravage you if I don’t clear the exam.”
“That won’t be necessary, my lady,” I rubbed her head, ignoring the tingling sensation in my neck. “You will clear the exams.”
I was, as usual, least bothered about the ways of the world. It was for mortals, and my villainess was above them. The reason why she attached so much significance to clearing the exam was because of the permit. If she fails, she won’t be able to erect stalls for confectionaries and has to beg a higher noble to oversee her store. I was happy as long as I ate my lady’s bread. Confectionaries or not weren’t my concern.
She untied her hair and glared at me. “Get rid of that smug! Or you’ll be tying my hair over and over again.”
Such a horrendous morning was marked by her nervousness when we reached the Academy. Casey and Beth weren’t any better, but the rest of the class was brimming with excitement. Most of them knew more than just the kingdom’s history, for they studied it with great enthusiasm. And perhaps, the forlorn expression of the three bullies of the Academy might have something to do with the cheerful ambiance.
You see, mortals revel in the misery of each other. In the misery of enemies, I correct. They act all condescending, but underneath all the pretense, there is always a concealed smile. And calculated one at that, unlike undead, because we smile at every funeral. Of course, reveling in the hypocrisy of mortals. You might tell me that even I enjoy butchering my enemies. Alas, I relish killing every pesky mortal, so nemesis or not doesn’t make much difference to me.
I sat under the nameless tree, as usual, spying on the classroom with my [Devil eye]. Nothing new there, but I had forgone my breakfast since I hadn’t gotten rid of my smugness. I knew my lady would clear the exam, so there was no need for modesty. She had little faith in herself, and I would address it eventually. Arrogance was a better option than not trusting oneself. And I would hone my lady’s egotism so that she wouldn’t spare the mortals a second glance.
“I hope you aren’t scared already,” Poisor, their homeroom teacher, said with amusement. “If you have heard the lectures for the past four years, getting a full score on the test is easier than learning Apprentice tier spells. But,” his eyes paused on the villainess noble girls, “not everyone was attentive during the lectures. Exploiting the power backing them comes naturally to many. You should take a good look at your fellow classmates and filter out the kind of person you would never want to become. That way, at least, you will attach some worth to the rubbish bunch.”
Implicitly everyone knew what the bastard Poisor was implying. Even the heroine, because her face contorted in anger even though the comment wasn’t directed at her. Indeed, the epitome of kindness. My lady and her two friends ignored the homeroom mage completely, not sparing him a second glance. That did the job because he stopped muttering baseless words and resorted to giving actual instructions about the exam.
“Six papers in four hourglasses; the military tactics and history has been combined into a single paper as well as gen on spells and royal ancestry,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “We expect you to know every major figure of the past and present Arlikian politics and the entire geography of the kingdom. If you are lax in answering the question, then we’ll be lax while grading, so write your answers accordingly. If you write more than necessary, expect to lose marks. Less, then we won’t take a second glance. We expect ideal length, and your days in the Academy should have taught you how to be succinct. The King doesn’t have all the time in the world to read your ramblings. And neither do we.”
That earned him some sighs and scowls, but he ignored them. “Wish you luck with your exams. Gen on spells will be the first test. My subject, so be sure not to disappoint me.”
Nods of acknowledgment followed, and silence descended in the room as the homeroom mage walked out. After almost a dozen minutes, Poisor returned, and this time, along with two more mages. They roamed around each of the chairs, checking their seats, hands, and clothes for the guys. My lady glared at the mage who had almost touched her hands, and he silently retreated after a hateful glance. Even though the Valorant mansion had lost prestige, it was still the Marquis mansion.
I sat atop my lady’s shoulder and glanced at the paper once she had gotten it.
“Mongrel,” my lady whispered, almost kissing the [Devil eye] as she turned to her right. That would have been bad because it was grotesquely maimed red-eye with throbbing blood vessels. “I’ll lock you in the mansion if I fail. Don’t you dare tell me I am unreasonable!”
I smiled and floated to my lady’s head, watching the paper with boredom.
Which spells would you consider necessary to become a vendor? Elaborate on any two types and write the spells needed.
That wasn’t a hard question, and by my lady’s writing pace, I reasoned that she didn’t have any problems with the question either. As for my answer, I would never become a vendor in the first place, so there’s no point in coming up with a hypothetical solution. Baker was also out of the question, but I could always become the analyst of the bakehouses. Tasting bread comes naturally to me, after all.
You can call me a genius bread taster, and I would gladly accept the compliment.
Pseudo-summoning spells are a sub-class of Summoning spells. They are very similar, but not entirely, and they are very different from special spells. Elaborate on the difference. Why are Pseudo-summoning spells considered safer than summoning spells?
There were eight more questions left, and my lady was writing at a snail’s pace. I nudged her with my [Devil eye], and with a scowl, she increased her pace. Her fountain pen even fumbled in her hands a couple of times.
Rituals are evil. What are the reasons for the conclusion? Write a brief description on Essence Gourge.
I had already taught my lady about Essence Gourge, so the question didn’t pose many problems. The rest of the queries were on the royal family, which I was the least inclined to read. I didn’t want to know about some crazy monarchs of the kingdom and their many wives. Worthless mortals and their history were not the concern of common undead, even if history might help me turn the tides of many battles in the future.
As I always say, I’m not a strategist. I see, I slaughter. There’s nothing better than brute force when you don’t die.
The exams continued on and on, and the afternoon break didn’t really seem like one. My lady had performed surprisingly well in most of the subjects. The third paper on military strategies proved to be her favorite as she breezed through the questions without pausing for thought. A particular one even pulled my attention.
How would you safeguard the kingdom and throne if you, as the sole loyal general to the King, were forced to fight on the front lines?
The answer was easy. Kill every single person who wants to usurp the throne. And if the masses oppose it, kill them too. But my lady wasn’t writing a truthful response, and I didn’t read more than a couple of lines. Strategies were boring.
The exams had concluded by evenfall, and the three girls walked out with bright smiles. I was already at the gates, not wanting my lady to take a detour after a tiring day.
“Ruddy,” Casey smiled at me as she rubbed her hands for warmth. “Never thought I’d see you without your emergency bread.”
I touched my coat and smiled. “I ate the only one a few hours ago. I was bored, lady Casey.”
“Rudolf,” my lady said with her uncharacteristic smile. “Your first concern should always be me. Casey’s answer can wait.”
“Leti!” Casey frowned and punched my lady’s shoulder lightly. “I am your friend.”
“Yes,” my lady nodded, “but Rudolf is mine.”
“Stop battling over that bread fanatic,” Beth rolled her eyes. “I haven’t seen the pervert in so long. Is he still out on a mission?”
“Missed me already, lady Beth?” Garlan poked his head out of the booth. “Everyone loves Garlan, I know.”
“Bread lad,” I stared at him in surprise. “When did you return?”
“This morning, Rudolf,” he left the booth, scratching his bulging tummy. “Learned my first progressive spell, [Umbra], yesterday. So, I have been busy collecting some money off my wood-modifying services.”
The three girls’ eyes lit up, and they smiled at each other.
“How much did you earn, pervert?” Beth asked as he placed her hands on her waist.
My bread lad laughed. “I’m not stupid to keep the money in my hands, lady Beth. Knowing that there are three greedy eyes staring at my pockets. Spent it all on ale and wooing Cair yesterday.”
Beth clicked her tongue. “Commoner Cair will have a miserable life. Offer my condolences to her.”
My lady giggled and held my hand discreetly. “All men will make a maiden girl’s life miserable. My Rudolf being the only exception.”
Garlan scowled at my grin while the two girls rolled their eyes in unison.
“What did you do to her during the trip, Ruddy?” Casey asked, casting me an accusatory glance. “Our Leti never used to flirt in public.”
“She’s not flirting, lady Casey,” I said. “My lady is just stating the facts.”
“Yes,” Beth rolled her eyes. “Like people stick together. Never knew narcissists did too.”
My lady didn’t rebuke her, and we parted ways amicably. She took me to my favorite bakehouse and clinked our bracelets with a smile.
“If you need bread, just clink your bracelet with mine,” my lady said. “I’ll buy you some.”
“The bracelets will break, my lady,” I shrugged. “Or your wrist might start hurting. My need for bread is never-ending.”
