Chapter 490: No One To Blame
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Myka woke only for a few minutes, but it was enough to renew the hope and determination of those waiting for him to recover.
Peter had rushed to his side, smiling and laughing with him for every second he could. But every other moment was spent in the lab. Analyzing and experimenting. He was consulting with doctors and scientists in Summer. They tackled the infection in different ways, trying to find a cure. But they were having little luck.
After three days, Axel was receiving messages from Galen and the lesser packs. Fae creatures had begun to attack all over the territories. In addition, some packs were reporting having seen strange hybrid wolves.
Axel needed to shift his attention to the war. He coordinated with Galen to arrange rescue operations and deploy warriors where they were most needed.
Bell had also been forced to return to her previous duties.
The safety zone she had set up for the survivors and civilians would need to be ready to receive more people.
The nomads that had come to negotiate finally came to an agreement. They offered their alliance to Winter, moving more than three hundred wolves into the safety zone, and offering nearly two hundred as soldiers.
As the world around them was hurdling faster and faster into an all-out war, Peter could only focus on Myka. He checked on him regularly and noticed that Myka was starting to show signs of the mutation again.
A leaf or two in his hair. That was how it had started before.
Peter thought he could do it. He was sure he could.
He wanted to save them both, bring Myka back, and keep Alice from losing her chance at motherhood. But now, it seemed like it was too late.
Peter lay his head on the cold steel of the table littered with paperwork. He took a deep breath and let it back out slowly.
How could he explain this to Myka?
Alice, his savior, his sister. She sacrificed her happiness for him, hoping that Peter and Bell would find a way to save them both.
“I failed...� he whispered out loud. “I’m so sorry.�
“He’s not gone yet,� a voice whispered behind him.
Peter sat up and turned to face her.
“Alice,� Peter whispered, then his eyes widened. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did Myka wake up?�
Alice let out a soft chuckle at the panic in his voice.
“Calm down,� she said. “I was with him just a few moments ago, and he was fine. A few more leaves in his hair, but he’s all right.�
Peter took a deep breath, sitting back down on his stool.
“Good...� he whispered, “good.�
Alice smiled.
“You have time still,� she said. “Myka is safe in your hands. I know it.�
Peter closed his eyes, clenching his jaw, he swallowed.
Myka still had a chance. They could still cure him. But the mutation was already coming back, and it was likely already too late for Alice.
“I’m sorry, Alice,� Peter whispered. “I thought... I hoped that I would be able to... help.�
Alice tilted her head to the side, squinting her eyes in confusion, and then it dawned on her. She smiled softly.
“Thank you,� she said. “I appreciate you trying.�
She turned away before she continued speaking.
“Honestly, I never expected you to be able to help me,� she said.
Peter looked up.
“When I made that decision, I had to assume it was the final outcome.�
Alice smiled, and her tone was casual, maybe just a touch distant. But her eyes shone with unshed tears, and the quiver of her jaw told a different story than she was sharing.
“So don’t worry about me,� she said. “You focus on curing Myka, that’s all.�
Peter sighed.
“How could I do that?� he asked, looking up at her with concern. “After hearing Myka and Axel talking about how much you want to be a mother, how can I not worry about what you did?�
“Because it was my choice, Peter,� Alice snapped. “I made it, and the risk was made very clear. So there is no one to blame except the ones that made that creature.�
Peter’s eyes lowered to the ground, he wanted to argue, but he could see how hard she was trying to keep herself focused and moving forward.
“Even if I find the cure in time to save him,� Peter said quietly, “how am I supposed to explain the price to him?�
Alice’s eyes went wide.
“You’re not,� she growled.
Peter looked up; the confusion was written plainly on his face.
“What?� he asked.
“You heard me,� she said firmly, clenching her jaw. “You cure him but do not tell him what I did. Not ever.�
“Why?� Peter asked. “We can’t keep that from him!�
“It is not your decision!� Alice growled.
Peter stared back at her, seeing the anger and fear in her eyes. She was right, it wasn’t his decision, and if Alice didn’t want Myka to know, it was her right to keep it from him.
But Peter could not stand the idea.
“I don’t know that I can agree to that,� Peter said quietly.
Alice growled.
“It’s not your decision!� she repeated.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I want to respect your privacy... but I don’t think I can look him in the eye every day, knowing what it cost you and how much it would upset him to find out that we kept it from him.�
“It will hurt him to know either way,� she said through gritted teeth. “All that matters is that he is safe.�
Peter observed Alice. She looked away from him.
He took a deep breath before speaking again.
“Do you know how important you are to him?� Peter asked.
Alice stilled.
“He sees you as his sister. The only family he has,� Peter continued. “Your dreams are his dreams. If you don’t tell him, he won’t let it go. He will encourage you, root for you... he will break your heart with his kindness and love, again and again.�
Alice sniffled. Her body trembled as she fought to hold back the flood of emotion. She swallowed and chuckled.
“Do you know how important he is to me?� she asked softly.
Peter swallowed but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.
“Saving him was the first choice I ever made after becoming a doll,� she said. “And it wasn’t just because of what I witnessed him going through.�
Alice paused, closing her eyes and chewing on her bottom lip.
“I don’t remember much about my time before Holden brought me to Spring,� Alice continued. “But there is one memory that I used to dream about... I think I was, maybe, four. Five? I was too small to be trusted to hold a baby alone. But I wanted to.�
Alice smiled.
“He was so adorable,� she continued. “His chubby cheeks and that gurgled giggle when my mother would tickle his feet or his side.�
She paused, taking in a shaky breath as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I remember I sat beside her on a green couch while she held him in her arms. I touched his hair. It was so impossibly soft,� Alice smiled again as she spoke. “I think he was a cousin... or something. I didn’t see him often, so I don’t think he was my brother, but I loved him fiercely.�
Peter licked his lips as he listened to her story.
“That memory... I dreamt about it, but only on the nights after I had seen Myka during the day,� she said. “I think he was a little older than the baby in my dreams... but they were the same person to me. They still are.�
Alice let out a soft laugh, sniffing and wiping her eyes.
“I have done all that I could to protect him. But that sweet boy will blame himself for my pain,� she whispered. “And I don’t know how to protect him from that.�
Peter closed his eyes. His heart ached for her. He understood where she was coming from. Truthfully, he would love to avoid giving Myka that pain, if possible, but it simply wasn’t an option.
“You can’t,� Peter sighed. “You’re right. He will blame himself. But if you don’t tell him, he will see it on his own, and then it will hurt that much worse.�
Alice looked away, wiped her tears, and sniffled.
“Well,� she said, her tone shifting away from the emotional outpouring. “None of that will matter if you don’t find a cure. So, for now, there is no reason to worry about it.�
Peter swallowed and nodded. He had pushed too far and didn’t want to make things any worse for her.
“Excuse me,� a small voice called from the door.
Alice and Peter both turned to see a young girl, only about twelve, standing in the doorway.
“You’re one of the children from the lab,� Alice said, tilting her head slightly with a gentle smile.
The girl nodded.
“What can we help you with?� Alice asked, her tone soft and welcoming.
“I was told I could help you,� the girl said.
Alice furrowed her brows.
“What do you mean?� she asked.
The girl walked further into the room.
“A woman came to see me in my dreams last night. She said that there was something different about me. I told her I was human, and then she smiled and told me to come to see you.�
“Me?� Alice asked.
The girl nodded and then turned to Peter.
“And you.�
Peter lifted his brows.
“This woman,� Alice began. “Did she have dark skin and golden curls?�
The girl nodded.
Alice looked back at Peter with contained hope.
“Talis, Mother of Spring,� she whispered.
Peter stood up taller and looked back at the girl.
“I know about a secret project from the lab,� the girl said. “One that none of the others knew about. Just the man that ran it.�
Alice felt a chill down her spine. She swallowed and took a deep breath.
“What was his name?� she asked.
“It was the man that stayed with you in the fire,� the girl said, “his name was Holden.�
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Myka woke only for a few minutes, but it was enough to renew the hope and determination of those waiting for him to recover.
Peter had rushed to his side, smiling and laughing with him for every second he could. But every other moment was spent in the lab. Analyzing and experimenting. He was consulting with doctors and scientists in Summer. They tackled the infection in different ways, trying to find a cure. But they were having little luck.
After three days, Axel was receiving messages from Galen and the lesser packs. Fae creatures had begun to attack all over the territories. In addition, some packs were reporting having seen strange hybrid wolves.
Axel needed to shift his attention to the war. He coordinated with Galen to arrange rescue operations and deploy warriors where they were most needed.
Bell had also been forced to return to her previous duties.
The safety zone she had set up for the survivors and civilians would need to be ready to receive more people.
The nomads that had come to negotiate finally came to an agreement. They offered their alliance to Winter, moving more than three hundred wolves into the safety zone, and offering nearly two hundred as soldiers.
As the world around them was hurdling faster and faster into an all-out war, Peter could only focus on Myka. He checked on him regularly and noticed that Myka was starting to show signs of the mutation again.
A leaf or two in his hair. That was how it had started before.
Peter thought he could do it. He was sure he could.
He wanted to save them both, bring Myka back, and keep Alice from losing her chance at motherhood. But now, it seemed like it was too late.
Peter lay his head on the cold steel of the table littered with paperwork. He took a deep breath and let it back out slowly.
How could he explain this to Myka?
Alice, his savior, his sister. She sacrificed her happiness for him, hoping that Peter and Bell would find a way to save them both.
“I failed...� he whispered out loud. “I’m so sorry.�
“He’s not gone yet,� a voice whispered behind him.
Peter sat up and turned to face her.
“Alice,� Peter whispered, then his eyes widened. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did Myka wake up?�
Alice let out a soft chuckle at the panic in his voice.
“Calm down,� she said. “I was with him just a few moments ago, and he was fine. A few more leaves in his hair, but he’s all right.�
Peter took a deep breath, sitting back down on his stool.
“Good...� he whispered, “good.�
Alice smiled.
“You have time still,� she said. “Myka is safe in your hands. I know it.�
Peter closed his eyes, clenching his jaw, he swallowed.
Myka still had a chance. They could still cure him. But the mutation was already coming back, and it was likely already too late for Alice.
“I’m sorry, Alice,� Peter whispered. “I thought... I hoped that I would be able to... help.�
Alice tilted her head to the side, squinting her eyes in confusion, and then it dawned on her. She smiled softly.
“Thank you,� she said. “I appreciate you trying.�
She turned away before she continued speaking.
“Honestly, I never expected you to be able to help me,� she said.
Peter looked up.
“When I made that decision, I had to assume it was the final outcome.�
Alice smiled, and her tone was casual, maybe just a touch distant. But her eyes shone with unshed tears, and the quiver of her jaw told a different story than she was sharing.
“So don’t worry about me,� she said. “You focus on curing Myka, that’s all.�
Peter sighed.
“How could I do that?� he asked, looking up at her with concern. “After hearing Myka and Axel talking about how much you want to be a mother, how can I not worry about what you did?�
“Because it was my choice, Peter,� Alice snapped. “I made it, and the risk was made very clear. So there is no one to blame except the ones that made that creature.�
Peter’s eyes lowered to the ground, he wanted to argue, but he could see how hard she was trying to keep herself focused and moving forward.
“Even if I find the cure in time to save him,� Peter said quietly, “how am I supposed to explain the price to him?�
Alice’s eyes went wide.
“You’re not,� she growled.
Peter looked up; the confusion was written plainly on his face.
“What?� he asked.
“You heard me,� she said firmly, clenching her jaw. “You cure him but do not tell him what I did. Not ever.�
“Why?� Peter asked. “We can’t keep that from him!�
“It is not your decision!� Alice growled.
Peter stared back at her, seeing the anger and fear in her eyes. She was right, it wasn’t his decision, and if Alice didn’t want Myka to know, it was her right to keep it from him.
But Peter could not stand the idea.
“I don’t know that I can agree to that,� Peter said quietly.
Alice growled.
“It’s not your decision!� she repeated.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I want to respect your privacy... but I don’t think I can look him in the eye every day, knowing what it cost you and how much it would upset him to find out that we kept it from him.�
“It will hurt him to know either way,� she said through gritted teeth. “All that matters is that he is safe.�
Peter observed Alice. She looked away from him.
He took a deep breath before speaking again.
“Do you know how important you are to him?� Peter asked.
Alice stilled.
“He sees you as his sister. The only family he has,� Peter continued. “Your dreams are his dreams. If you don’t tell him, he won’t let it go. He will encourage you, root for you... he will break your heart with his kindness and love, again and again.�
Alice sniffled. Her body trembled as she fought to hold back the flood of emotion. She swallowed and chuckled.
“Do you know how important he is to me?� she asked softly.
Peter swallowed but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.
“Saving him was the first choice I ever made after becoming a doll,� she said. “And it wasn’t just because of what I witnessed him going through.�
Alice paused, closing her eyes and chewing on her bottom lip.
“I don’t remember much about my time before Holden brought me to Spring,� Alice continued. “But there is one memory that I used to dream about... I think I was, maybe, four. Five? I was too small to be trusted to hold a baby alone. But I wanted to.�
Alice smiled.
“He was so adorable,� she continued. “His chubby cheeks and that gurgled giggle when my mother would tickle his feet or his side.�
She paused, taking in a shaky breath as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I remember I sat beside her on a green couch while she held him in her arms. I touched his hair. It was so impossibly soft,� Alice smiled again as she spoke. “I think he was a cousin... or something. I didn’t see him often, so I don’t think he was my brother, but I loved him fiercely.�
Peter licked his lips as he listened to her story.
“That memory... I dreamt about it, but only on the nights after I had seen Myka during the day,� she said. “I think he was a little older than the baby in my dreams... but they were the same person to me. They still are.�
Alice let out a soft laugh, sniffing and wiping her eyes.
“I have done all that I could to protect him. But that sweet boy will blame himself for my pain,� she whispered. “And I don’t know how to protect him from that.�
Peter closed his eyes. His heart ached for her. He understood where she was coming from. Truthfully, he would love to avoid giving Myka that pain, if possible, but it simply wasn’t an option.
“You can’t,� Peter sighed. “You’re right. He will blame himself. But if you don’t tell him, he will see it on his own, and then it will hurt that much worse.�
Alice looked away, wiped her tears, and sniffled.
“Well,� she said, her tone shifting away from the emotional outpouring. “None of that will matter if you don’t find a cure. So, for now, there is no reason to worry about it.�
Peter swallowed and nodded. He had pushed too far and didn’t want to make things any worse for her.
“Excuse me,� a small voice called from the door.
Alice and Peter both turned to see a young girl, only about twelve, standing in the doorway.
“You’re one of the children from the lab,� Alice said, tilting her head slightly with a gentle smile.
The girl nodded.
“What can we help you with?� Alice asked, her tone soft and welcoming.
“I was told I could help you,� the girl said.
Alice furrowed her brows.
“What do you mean?� she asked.
The girl walked further into the room.
“A woman came to see me in my dreams last night. She said that there was something different about me. I told her I was human, and then she smiled and told me to come to see you.�
“Me?� Alice asked.
The girl nodded and then turned to Peter.
“And you.�
Peter lifted his brows.
“This woman,� Alice began. “Did she have dark skin and golden curls?�
The girl nodded.
Alice looked back at Peter with contained hope.
“Talis, Mother of Spring,� she whispered.
Peter stood up taller and looked back at the girl.
“I know about a secret project from the lab,� the girl said. “One that none of the others knew about. Just the man that ran it.�
Alice felt a chill down her spine. She swallowed and took a deep breath.
“What was his name?� she asked.
“It was the man that stayed with you in the fire,� the girl said, “his name was Holden.�
Myka woke only for a few minutes, but it was enough to renew the hope and determination of those waiting for him to recover.Peter had rushed to his side, smiling and laughing with him for every second he could. But every other moment was spent in the lab. Analyzing and experimenting. He was consulting with doctors and scientists in Summer. They tackled the infection in different ways, trying to find a cure. But they were having little luck.After three days, Axel was receiving messages from Galen and the lesser packs. Fae creatures had begun to attack all over the territories. In addition, some packs were reporting having seen strange hybrid wolves.Axel needed to shift his attention to the war. He coordinated with Galen to arrange rescue operations and deploy warriors where they were most needed.Bell had also been forced to return to her previous duties.The safety zone she had set up for the survivors and civilians would need to be ready to receive more people.The nomads that had come to negotiate finally came to an agreement. They offered their alliance to Winter, moving more than three hundred wolves into the safety zone, and offering nearly two hundred as soldiers.As the world around them was hurdling faster and faster into an all-out war, Peter could only focus on Myka. He checked on him regularly and noticed that Myka was starting to show signs of the mutation again.A leaf or two in his hair. That was how it had started before.Peter thought he could do it. He was sure he could.He wanted to save them both, bring Myka back, and keep Alice from losing her chance at motherhood. But now, it seemed like it was too late.Peter lay his head on the cold steel of the table littered with paperwork. He took a deep breath and let it back out slowly.How could he explain this to Myka?Alice, his savior, his sister. She sacrificed her happiness for him, hoping that Peter and Bell would find a way to save them both.I failed... he whispered out loud. Im so sorry.Hes not gone yet, a voice whispered behind him.Peter sat up and turned to face her.Alice, Peter whispered, then his eyes widened. What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did Myka wake up?Alice let out a soft chuckle at the panic in his voice.Calm down, she said. I was with him just a few moments ago, and he was fine. A few more leaves in his hair, but hes all right.Peter took a deep breath, sitting back down on his stool.Good... he whispered, good.Alice smiled.You have time still, she said. Myka is safe in your hands. I know it.Peter closed his eyes, clenching his jaw, he swallowed.Myka still had a chance. They could still cure him. But the mutation was already coming back, and it was likely already too late for Alice.Im sorry, Alice, Peter whispered. I thought... I hoped that I would be able to... help.Alice tilted her head to the side, squinting her eyes in confusion, and then it dawned on her. She smiled softly.Thank you, she said. I appreciate you trying.She turned away before she continued speaking.Honestly, I never expected you to be able to help me, she said.Peter looked up.When I made that decision, I had to assume it was the final outcome.Alice smiled, and her tone was casual, maybe just a touch distant. But her eyes shone with unshed tears, and the quiver of her jaw told a different story than she was sharing.So dont worry about me, she said. You focus on curing Myka, thats all.Peter sighed.How could I do that? he asked, looking up at her with concern. After hearing Myka and Axel talking about how much you want to be a mother, how can I not worry about what you did?Because it was my choice, Peter, Alice snapped. I made it, and the risk was made very clear. So there is no one to blame except the ones that made that creature.Peters eyes lowered to the ground, he wanted to argue, but he could see how hard she was trying to keep herself focused and moving forward.Even if I find the cure in time to save him, Peter said quietly, how am I supposed to explain the price to him?Alices eyes went wide.Youre not, she growled.Peter looked up; the confusion was written plainly on his face.What? he asked.You heard me, she said firmly, clenching her jaw. You cure him but do not tell him what I did. Not ever.Why? Peter asked. We cant keep that from him!It is not your decision! Alice growled.Peter stared back at her, seeing the anger and fear in her eyes. She was right, it wasnt his decision, and if Alice didnt want Myka to know, it was her right to keep it from him.But Peter could not stand the idea.I dont know that I can agree to that, Peter said quietly.Alice growled.Its not your decision! she repeated.I know, and Im sorry. I want to respect your privacy... but I dont think I can look him in the eye every day, knowing what it cost you and how much it would upset him to find out that we kept it from him.It will hurt him to know either way, she said through gritted teeth. All that matters is that he is safe.Peter observed Alice. She looked away from him.He took a deep breath before speaking again.Do you know how important you are to him? Peter asked.Alice stilled.He sees you as his sister. The only family he has, Peter continued. Your dreams are his dreams. If you dont tell him, he wont let it go. He will encourage you, root for you... he will break your heart with his kindness and love, again and again.Alice sniffled. Her body trembled as she fought to hold back the flood of emotion. She swallowed and chuckled.Do you know how important he is to me? she asked softly.Peter swallowed but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.Saving him was the first choice I ever made after becoming a doll, she said. And it wasnt just because of what I witnessed him going through.Alice paused, closing her eyes and chewing on her bottom lip.I dont remember much about my time before Holden brought me to Spring, Alice continued. But there is one memory that I used to dream about... I think I was, maybe, four. Five? I was too small to be trusted to hold a baby alone. But I wanted to.Alice smiled.He was so adorable, she continued. His chubby cheeks and that gurgled giggle when my mother would tickle his feet or his side.She paused, taking in a shaky breath as the tears rolled down her cheeks.I remember I sat beside her on a green couch while she held him in her arms. I touched his hair. It was so impossibly soft, Alice smiled again as she spoke. I think he was a cousin... or something. I didnt see him often, so I dont think he was my brother, but I loved him fiercely.Peter licked his lips as he listened to her story.That memory... I dreamt about it, but only on the nights after I had seen Myka during the day, she said. I think he was a little older than the baby in my dreams... but they were the same person to me. They still are.Alice let out a soft laugh, sniffing and wiping her eyes.I have done all that I could to protect him. But that sweet boy will blame himself for my pain, she whispered. And I dont know how to protect him from that.Peter closed his eyes. His heart ached for her. He understood where she was coming from. Truthfully, he would love to avoid giving Myka that pain, if possible, but it simply wasnt an option.You cant, Peter sighed. Youre right. He will blame himself. But if you dont tell him, he will see it on his own, and then it will hurt that much worse.Alice looked away, wiped her tears, and sniffled.Well, she said, her tone shifting away from the emotional outpouring. None of that will matter if you dont find a cure. So, for now, there is no reason to worry about it.Peter swallowed and nodded. He had pushed too far and didnt want to make things any worse for her.Excuse me, a small voice called from the door.Alice and Peter both turned to see a young girl, only about twelve, standing in the doorway.Youre one of the children from the lab, Alice said, tilting her head slightly with a gentle smile.The girl nodded.What can we help you with? Alice asked, her tone soft and welcoming.I was told I could help you, the girl said.Alice furrowed her brows.What do you mean? she asked.The girl walked further into the room.A woman came to see me in my dreams last night. She said that there was something different about me. I told her I was human, and then she smiled and told me to come to see you.Me? Alice asked.The girl nodded and then turned to Peter.And you. Peter lifted his brows.This woman, Alice began. Did she have dark skin and golden curls?The girl nodded.Alice looked back at Peter with contained hope.Talis, Mother of Spring, she whispered.Peter stood up taller and looked back at the girl.I know about a secret project from the lab, the girl said. One that none of the others knew about. Just the man that ran it.Alice felt a chill down her spine. She swallowed and took a deep breath.What was his name? she asked.It was the man that stayed with you in the fire, the girl said, his name was Holden.
