Chapter 518: A Real Win-Win
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Ashleigh was taken aback by Alice's words.
"What?" she said. "You want… to fight me?"
Alice chuckled.
"Why not?" she said with a wide grin. "You want to fight everybody."
"No, I don't."
"You do," Alice replied with a nod.
"No," Ashleigh repeated, "I don't."
Alice scrunched her nose and shrugged her shoulders.
"You definitely do."
Ashleigh clenched her jaw.
"You know Alice, my brother asked me to stop fighting with you. Small or big, he just wanted me to keep the peace, and I am trying. But you are making it incredibly difficult right now!" Ashleigh growled.
"I do my best," Alice smiled with a slight bow of her head.
Ashleigh took a deep breath, balling her hands into fists.
"I am not going to fight you, Alice," she said through gritted teeth. "We are working together on an important mission; we don't have time for your ridiculous games."
She turned toward the fire, removing the stew pot and grabbing her bowl.
"I'm going to go and clean these out, then I'm going to bed," she said. Then, with an angry smile, she added. "I'm sure you can find ways to entertain yourself without me."
Ashleigh moved past Alice, still fighting to keep herself from saying anything else.
"I wonder if you'll actually get to talk to Alpha Boy Wonder tomorrow," Alice called out. "Or if, yet again, you will be left to wonder what he's doing? Where he is? Whether he's safe or not."
Ashleigh closed her eyes, clenching her jaw so tight that it hurt.
"Or maybe you'll get another life-altering mission when you sleep tonight. Maybe this time, they'll make you leave the territories altogether. Abandoning not just your soldiers, but your family too."
Ashleigh stopped where she was and took a deep breath.
"Seriously, what is your damn problem!" she growled before turning around to face Alice. "Why are you insisting on pushing every one of my buttons!"
"I told you, Ashleigh, you're too easy to rile up."
"Then leave me the hell alone!" Ashleigh shouted, once again turning to leave the area.
"Why?" Alice called after her. "You don't like me anyway, Ashleigh. So why not take out your frustration on me rather than continue upsetting the people who love you!"
Ashleigh let out a growl, still fighting to ignore Alice's prodding.
"They are not always going to forgive you, Ashleigh!" Alice shouted.
And then, Ashleigh could take it no more.
"Why not! They forgave you!" Ashleigh shouted angrily as she turned to stare back at Alice, as she took deep breaths, and her eyes gave off a soft glow.
"Does that bother you?" Alice asked gently, seemingly unaffected by Ashleigh's anger. "That your family accepted me after everything I have done?"
The glow in her eyes flared and then fell away. Ashleigh took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"It doesn't matter," Ashleigh sighed, turning away.
Alice moved before Ashleigh could realize it. She was suddenly before her, and with a quick strike, Alice had removed the pin from Ashleigh's chest and knocked her back to the ground.
"What are you doing!" Ashleigh cried out.
"Stop turning away from me," Alice said. "I am trying to help you, your stubborn child!"
"By trying to get into a fight with me?" Ashleigh shouted back, getting to her feet. "How is that helpful?!"
"You hold everything so tightly inside of yourself that all your doing is drowning in your insecurity and misery!" Alice growled. "And to make it worse, you grab onto everyone around you and drag them down into the water with you."
Ashleigh felt the weight of her words like a slap across the face. Axel had already told her something similar. It wasn't news to her. She was aware of her tendency to lash out and push away her fears. But the problem was, she didn't know how to stop it from happening. She never meant to do it; it just came out.
"No one expects you to handle this all on your own," Alice said. "To gracefully accept that you are the chosen one that has to fight the monsters and save the day."
Alice took a breath.
"Look, I tried to approach this in a way you relate to," she said. "You fight, and you hate me. So it seemed like a real win-win for you."
"I can't fight you," Ashleigh sighed.
"Because you promised Axel?" Alice asked.
"And Caleb," Ashleigh replied.
Alice smiled and nodded.
"Those boys don't even know the power they hold in their words," Alice said playfully. "One turned the chosen one into a pacifist, while the other turned an evil spy into a housewife."
Ashleigh snorted. Her eyes went wide with surprise at her actions as she covered her mouth with her hand.
"What? Don't believe me?" Alice smiled, smoothing her clothes as though she wore an apron. "I make a mean apple pie."
Ashleigh watched the show Alice was putting on for her. As angry as she had felt just moments ago, she could already feel it all falling away.
It seemed ridiculous. She had heard Alice tell Myka that she was riling Ashleigh on purpose, yet she still got so angry.
But Alice hadn't.
Sure, she had raised her voice and once or twice acted as though she were angry. But Ashleigh watched her expression. She listened to her voice. Every single move Alice made was planned. She had never been angry; she was just trying to get Ashleigh to react.
"How do you it?" Ashleigh asked.
"The pie?" Alice replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I can get you the recipe when we return to Winter."
"No, not the pie," Ashleigh said, with just a hint of irritation. "How do you stay so calm?"
"Calm?" Alice asked. "I'm not sure that describes me, though I could see how it might appear that way."
"How is it that nothing seems to affect your mood?" Ashleigh asked. "Even in the lab, seeing Holden, you seemed fine."
Alice smiled.
"It's part of the job."
"Seriously," Ashleigh continued. "The only time I have actually seen you drop the act was when you got angry at my comment the other day."
Alice pursed her lips and took a breath through her nose.
"Well," she said with a shrug. "You hit a nerve. I know you think I'm this monster that survives by draining Axel's soul and plotting the downfall of Winter. And I'm so very sorry to disappoint, but I am mostly human. As such, I too can have my feelings hurt, and my pride wounded."
Ashleigh looked away.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I shouldn't have said that. I know that you have taken the welfare of others on yourself many times and risked your life to save them. I was lashing out, and you didn't deserve it."
Alice smiled and tilted her head at Ashleigh.
"Well, that's an improvement," she said.
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
"You apologized," Alice continued. "Not because you were forced to by someone else, and not out of pity. But because you understood that you were in the wrong."
"You make me sound like a child," Ashleigh growled.
"You act like one a lot of the time," Alice smiled.
Ashleigh rolled her eyes.
"So," Ashleigh sighed. "Are you going to tell me how you manage to keep calm?"
Alice thought for a moment.
"It's… survival," she smiled. "If I didn't know how to react in a specific way to Holden's demands or to the events around me, I put myself at risk. He may not be here anymore, but now it's not just me is it? If I don't anticipate the needs and potential reactions of those around me, how can I keep Axel or Myka safe?"
"Is that why you volunteered to come?" Ashleigh asked, with a weight in her stomach. "Because you thought I would screw this up and make Myka feel like he couldn't trust me."
Alice smiled and shook her head, whispering, "No."
"Then why?" Ashleigh asked.
"Because of you," she replied, still smiling. "Because you have been given an incredible burden on top of a very stressful year."
Ashleigh scoffed.
"You came… to make my life easier?" Ashleigh asked. "By driving me crazy?"
Alice laughed.
"I was raised by a sociopath," she shrugged. "Social norms are not really my thing."
Ashleigh couldn't help but feel a strange kinship with Alice. Of course, she didn't understand it and, honestly, didn't particularly like it. But it did make her feel a little more at ease.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes.
"It has been… a hard year," she whispered.
"Ashleigh," Alice whispered.
Ashleigh opened her eyes and looked at the other woman.
"I had to survive by keeping every part of me, that was me, trapped in a small dark hole inside my mind," she said. "But you don't have to do that."
Alice smiled.
"You have spent your entire life becoming a fierce warrior," she said, "but not everyone is your enemy."
Ashleigh sighed and nodded her head.
"I'm working on it," she said.
"Good," Alice replied. "But if you feel that overwhelming need to take out your frustrations on someone, I am here."
"Pretty sure Axel wouldn't like that," Ashleigh countered with a half-hearted grin.
"Pretty sure I could smooth it over if he didn't," Alice replied with a smile and a wink.
"Gross…" Ashleigh sighed.
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Ashleigh was taken aback by Alice's words.
"What?" she said. "You want… to fight me?"
Alice chuckled.
"Why not?" she said with a wide grin. "You want to fight everybody."
"No, I don't."
"You do," Alice replied with a nod.
"No," Ashleigh repeated, "I don't."
Alice scrunched her nose and shrugged her shoulders.
"You definitely do."
Ashleigh clenched her jaw.
"You know Alice, my brother asked me to stop fighting with you. Small or big, he just wanted me to keep the peace, and I am trying. But you are making it incredibly difficult right now!" Ashleigh growled.
"I do my best," Alice smiled with a slight bow of her head.
Ashleigh took a deep breath, balling her hands into fists.
"I am not going to fight you, Alice," she said through gritted teeth. "We are working together on an important mission; we don't have time for your ridiculous games."
She turned toward the fire, removing the stew pot and grabbing her bowl.
"I'm going to go and clean these out, then I'm going to bed," she said. Then, with an angry smile, she added. "I'm sure you can find ways to entertain yourself without me."
Ashleigh moved past Alice, still fighting to keep herself from saying anything else.
"I wonder if you'll actually get to talk to Alpha Boy Wonder tomorrow," Alice called out. "Or if, yet again, you will be left to wonder what he's doing? Where he is? Whether he's safe or not."
Ashleigh closed her eyes, clenching her jaw so tight that it hurt.
"Or maybe you'll get another life-altering mission when you sleep tonight. Maybe this time, they'll make you leave the territories altogether. Abandoning not just your soldiers, but your family too."
Ashleigh stopped where she was and took a deep breath.
"Seriously, what is your damn problem!" she growled before turning around to face Alice. "Why are you insisting on pushing every one of my buttons!"
"I told you, Ashleigh, you're too easy to rile up."
"Then leave me the hell alone!" Ashleigh shouted, once again turning to leave the area.
"Why?" Alice called after her. "You don't like me anyway, Ashleigh. So why not take out your frustration on me rather than continue upsetting the people who love you!"
Ashleigh let out a growl, still fighting to ignore Alice's prodding.
"They are not always going to forgive you, Ashleigh!" Alice shouted.
And then, Ashleigh could take it no more.
"Why not! They forgave you!" Ashleigh shouted angrily as she turned to stare back at Alice, as she took deep breaths, and her eyes gave off a soft glow.
"Does that bother you?" Alice asked gently, seemingly unaffected by Ashleigh's anger. "That your family accepted me after everything I have done?"
The glow in her eyes flared and then fell away. Ashleigh took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"It doesn't matter," Ashleigh sighed, turning away.
Alice moved before Ashleigh could realize it. She was suddenly before her, and with a quick strike, Alice had removed the pin from Ashleigh's chest and knocked her back to the ground.
"What are you doing!" Ashleigh cried out.
"Stop turning away from me," Alice said. "I am trying to help you, your stubborn child!"
"By trying to get into a fight with me?" Ashleigh shouted back, getting to her feet. "How is that helpful?!"
"You hold everything so tightly inside of yourself that all your doing is drowning in your insecurity and misery!" Alice growled. "And to make it worse, you grab onto everyone around you and drag them down into the water with you."
Ashleigh felt the weight of her words like a slap across the face. Axel had already told her something similar. It wasn't news to her. She was aware of her tendency to lash out and push away her fears. But the problem was, she didn't know how to stop it from happening. She never meant to do it; it just came out.
"No one expects you to handle this all on your own," Alice said. "To gracefully accept that you are the chosen one that has to fight the monsters and save the day."
Alice took a breath.
"Look, I tried to approach this in a way you relate to," she said. "You fight, and you hate me. So it seemed like a real win-win for you."
"I can't fight you," Ashleigh sighed.
"Because you promised Axel?" Alice asked.
"And Caleb," Ashleigh replied.
Alice smiled and nodded.
"Those boys don't even know the power they hold in their words," Alice said playfully. "One turned the chosen one into a pacifist, while the other turned an evil spy into a housewife."
Ashleigh snorted. Her eyes went wide with surprise at her actions as she covered her mouth with her hand.
"What? Don't believe me?" Alice smiled, smoothing her clothes as though she wore an apron. "I make a mean apple pie."
Ashleigh watched the show Alice was putting on for her. As angry as she had felt just moments ago, she could already feel it all falling away.
It seemed ridiculous. She had heard Alice tell Myka that she was riling Ashleigh on purpose, yet she still got so angry.
But Alice hadn't.
Sure, she had raised her voice and once or twice acted as though she were angry. But Ashleigh watched her expression. She listened to her voice. Every single move Alice made was planned. She had never been angry; she was just trying to get Ashleigh to react.
"How do you it?" Ashleigh asked.
"The pie?" Alice replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I can get you the recipe when we return to Winter."
"No, not the pie," Ashleigh said, with just a hint of irritation. "How do you stay so calm?"
"Calm?" Alice asked. "I'm not sure that describes me, though I could see how it might appear that way."
"How is it that nothing seems to affect your mood?" Ashleigh asked. "Even in the lab, seeing Holden, you seemed fine."
Alice smiled.
"It's part of the job."
"Seriously," Ashleigh continued. "The only time I have actually seen you drop the act was when you got angry at my comment the other day."
Alice pursed her lips and took a breath through her nose.
"Well," she said with a shrug. "You hit a nerve. I know you think I'm this monster that survives by draining Axel's soul and plotting the downfall of Winter. And I'm so very sorry to disappoint, but I am mostly human. As such, I too can have my feelings hurt, and my pride wounded."
Ashleigh looked away.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I shouldn't have said that. I know that you have taken the welfare of others on yourself many times and risked your life to save them. I was lashing out, and you didn't deserve it."
Alice smiled and tilted her head at Ashleigh.
"Well, that's an improvement," she said.
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
"You apologized," Alice continued. "Not because you were forced to by someone else, and not out of pity. But because you understood that you were in the wrong."
"You make me sound like a child," Ashleigh growled.
"You act like one a lot of the time," Alice smiled.
Ashleigh rolled her eyes.
"So," Ashleigh sighed. "Are you going to tell me how you manage to keep calm?"
Alice thought for a moment.
"It's… survival," she smiled. "If I didn't know how to react in a specific way to Holden's demands or to the events around me, I put myself at risk. He may not be here anymore, but now it's not just me is it? If I don't anticipate the needs and potential reactions of those around me, how can I keep Axel or Myka safe?"
"Is that why you volunteered to come?" Ashleigh asked, with a weight in her stomach. "Because you thought I would screw this up and make Myka feel like he couldn't trust me."
Alice smiled and shook her head, whispering, "No."
"Then why?" Ashleigh asked.
"Because of you," she replied, still smiling. "Because you have been given an incredible burden on top of a very stressful year."
Ashleigh scoffed.
"You came… to make my life easier?" Ashleigh asked. "By driving me crazy?"
Alice laughed.
"I was raised by a sociopath," she shrugged. "Social norms are not really my thing."
Ashleigh couldn't help but feel a strange kinship with Alice. Of course, she didn't understand it and, honestly, didn't particularly like it. But it did make her feel a little more at ease.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes.
"It has been… a hard year," she whispered.
"Ashleigh," Alice whispered.
Ashleigh opened her eyes and looked at the other woman.
"I had to survive by keeping every part of me, that was me, trapped in a small dark hole inside my mind," she said. "But you don't have to do that."
Alice smiled.
"You have spent your entire life becoming a fierce warrior," she said, "but not everyone is your enemy."
Ashleigh sighed and nodded her head.
"I'm working on it," she said.
"Good," Alice replied. "But if you feel that overwhelming need to take out your frustrations on someone, I am here."
"Pretty sure Axel wouldn't like that," Ashleigh countered with a half-hearted grin.
"Pretty sure I could smooth it over if he didn't," Alice replied with a smile and a wink.
"Gross…" Ashleigh sighed.
Ashleigh was taken aback by Alice's words."What?" she said. "You want to fight me?"Alice chuckled."Why not?" she said with a wide grin. "You want to fight everybody.""No, I don't.""You do," Alice replied with a nod."No," Ashleigh repeated, "I don't."Alice scrunched her nose and shrugged her shoulders."You definitely do."Ashleigh clenched her jaw."You know Alice, my brother asked me to stop fighting with you. Small or big, he just wanted me to keep the peace, and I am trying. But you are making it incredibly difficult right now!" Ashleigh growled."I do my best," Alice smiled with a slight bow of her head.Ashleigh took a deep breath, balling her hands into fists."I am not going to fight you, Alice," she said through gritted teeth. "We are working together on an important mission; we don't have time for your ridiculous games."She turned toward the fire, removing the stew pot and grabbing her bowl."I'm going to go and clean these out, then I'm going to bed," she said. Then, with an angry smile, she added. "I'm sure you can find ways to entertain yourself without me."Ashleigh moved past Alice, still fighting to keep herself from saying anything else."I wonder if you'll actually get to talk to Alpha Boy Wonder tomorrow," Alice called out. "Or if, yet again, you will be left to wonder what he's doing? Where he is? Whether he's safe or not."Ashleigh closed her eyes, clenching her jaw so tight that it hurt."Or maybe you'll get another life-altering mission when you sleep tonight. Maybe this time, they'll make you leave the territories altogether. Abandoning not just your soldiers, but your family too."Ashleigh stopped where she was and took a deep breath."Seriously, what is your damn problem!" she growled before turning around to face Alice. "Why are you insisting on pushing every one of my buttons!""I told you, Ashleigh, you're too easy to rile up.""Then leave me the hell alone!" Ashleigh shouted, once again turning to leave the area."Why?" Alice called after her. "You don't like me anyway, Ashleigh. So why not take out your frustration on me rather than continue upsetting the people who love you!"Ashleigh let out a growl, still fighting to ignore Alice's prodding."They are not always going to forgive you, Ashleigh!" Alice shouted.And then, Ashleigh could take it no more."Why not! They forgave you!" Ashleigh shouted angrily as she turned to stare back at Alice, as she took deep breaths, and her eyes gave off a soft glow."Does that bother you?" Alice asked gently, seemingly unaffected by Ashleigh's anger. "That your family accepted me after everything I have done?"The glow in her eyes flared and then fell away. Ashleigh took a deep breath and closed her eyes."It doesn't matter," Ashleigh sighed, turning away.Alice moved before Ashleigh could realize it. She was suddenly before her, and with a quick strike, Alice had removed the pin from Ashleigh's chest and knocked her back to the ground."What are you doing!" Ashleigh cried out."Stop turning away from me," Alice said. "I am trying to help you, your stubborn child!""By trying to get into a fight with me?" Ashleigh shouted back, getting to her feet. "How is that helpful?!""You hold everything so tightly inside of yourself that all your doing is drowning in your insecurity and misery!" Alice growled. "And to make it worse, you grab onto everyone around you and drag them down into the water with you."Ashleigh felt the weight of her words like a slap across the face. Axel had already told her something similar. It wasn't news to her. She was aware of her tendency to lash out and push away her fears. But the problem was, she didn't know how to stop it from happening. She never meant to do it; it just came out."No one expects you to handle this all on your own," Alice said. "To gracefully accept that you are the chosen one that has to fight the monsters and save the day."Alice took a breath."Look, I tried to approach this in a way you relate to," she said. "You fight, and you hate me. So it seemed like a real win-win for you.""I can't fight you," Ashleigh sighed."Because you promised Axel?" Alice asked."And Caleb," Ashleigh replied.Alice smiled and nodded."Those boys don't even know the power they hold in their words," Alice said playfully. "One turned the chosen one into a pacifist, while the other turned an evil spy into a housewife."Ashleigh snorted. Her eyes went wide with surprise at her actions as she covered her mouth with her hand."What? Don't believe me?" Alice smiled, smoothing her clothes as though she wore an apron. "I make a mean apple pie."Ashleigh watched the show Alice was putting on for her. As angry as she had felt just moments ago, she could already feel it all falling away.It seemed ridiculous. She had heard Alice tell Myka that she was riling Ashleigh on purpose, yet she still got so angry.But Alice hadn't.Sure, she had raised her voice and once or twice acted as though she were angry. But Ashleigh watched her expression. She listened to her voice. Every single move Alice made was planned. She had never been angry; she was just trying to get Ashleigh to react."How do you it?" Ashleigh asked."The pie?" Alice replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I can get you the recipe when we return to Winter.""No, not the pie," Ashleigh said, with just a hint of irritation. "How do you stay so calm?""Calm?" Alice asked. "I'm not sure that describes me, though I could see how it might appear that way.""How is it that nothing seems to affect your mood?" Ashleigh asked. "Even in the lab, seeing Holden, you seemed fine."Alice smiled."It's part of the job.""Seriously," Ashleigh continued. "The only time I have actually seen you drop the act was when you got angry at my comment the other day."Alice pursed her lips and took a breath through her nose."Well," she said with a shrug. "You hit a nerve. I know you think I'm this monster that survives by draining Axel's soul and plotting the downfall of Winter. And I'm so very sorry to disappoint, but I am mostly human. As such, I too can have my feelings hurt, and my pride wounded."Ashleigh looked away."I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I shouldn't have said that. I know that you have taken the welfare of others on yourself many times and risked your life to save them. I was lashing out, and you didn't deserve it."Alice smiled and tilted her head at Ashleigh."Well, that's an improvement," she said.Ashleigh furrowed her brows."You apologized," Alice continued. "Not because you were forced to by someone else, and not out of pity. But because you understood that you were in the wrong.""You make me sound like a child," Ashleigh growled."You act like one a lot of the time," Alice smiled.Ashleigh rolled her eyes."So," Ashleigh sighed. "Are you going to tell me how you manage to keep calm?"Alice thought for a moment."It's survival," she smiled. "If I didn't know how to react in a specific way to Holden's demands or to the events around me, I put myself at risk. He may not be here anymore, but now it's not just me is it? If I don't anticipate the needs and potential reactions of those around me, how can I keep Axel or Myka safe?""Is that why you volunteered to come?" Ashleigh asked, with a weight in her stomach. "Because you thought I would screw this up and make Myka feel like he couldn't trust me."Alice smiled and shook her head, whispering, "No.""Then why?" Ashleigh asked."Because of you," she replied, still smiling. "Because you have been given an incredible burden on top of a very stressful year."Ashleigh scoffed."You came to make my life easier?" Ashleigh asked. "By driving me crazy?"Alice laughed."I was raised by a sociopath," she shrugged. "Social norms are not really my thing." Ashleigh couldn't help but feel a strange kinship with Alice. Of course, she didn't understand it and, honestly, didn't particularly like it. But it did make her feel a little more at ease.She took a deep breath, closing her eyes."It has been a hard year," she whispered."Ashleigh," Alice whispered.Ashleigh opened her eyes and looked at the other woman."I had to survive by keeping every part of me, that was me, trapped in a small dark hole inside my mind," she said. "But you don't have to do that."Alice smiled."You have spent your entire life becoming a fierce warrior," she said, "but not everyone is your enemy."Ashleigh sighed and nodded her head."I'm working on it," she said."Good," Alice replied. "But if you feel that overwhelming need to take out your frustrations on someone, I am here.""Pretty sure Axel wouldn't like that," Ashleigh countered with a half-hearted grin."Pretty sure I could smooth it over if he didn't," Alice replied with a smile and a wink."Gross" Ashleigh sighed.
