Dinner time came earlier than usual in the Chapel: without the Father to bless their food and give his usual monologue, and without Sister Marina to do her best to imitate it in length and tediousness, Sister Tasce’s quick summary of all the reasons why bad girls go to Hell was done quickly and painlessly! She must have been hungry as well.
Tonight’s soup felt saltier than usual, which could have thrown some people out of the loop but it was quite appreciated by Gabrielle, who’s mood improved as quickly as she was able to get the first spoonfuls. There were many things to think about, the Demiurge and his secrets, how to help Baraqiel and keep them safe, and why did she feel like things were suddenly so complex and scary…
Not too long ago, Gabi was convinced she understood it all! It had taken quite a long time of her life, but finally the world was making sense: if she kept quiet things would be better, and if she did as she was told no one would hurt her— weren’t those the rules that guided reality?
Did she spend all these years learning lies?
And if that was the case, then whatever could she even do about it?
With a pouty grimace on her face she continued to devour her soup, pushing her head against the issue without managing to move it an inch, until something else caught her attention: Silence. Not absolute silence of course, that would be impossible at Dinner time with so many people chatting and their spoons clanking against the bowls; it was a silence directly aimed at her.
Don’t get distracted!!
The girl shook her head quickly, trying to recover and properly address her issues: most specifically the Demiurge. The Sisters said he wanted to become an Angel himself, was that funny shape that Baraqiel showed her really the key to it? Maybe it held secrets, like… liiike…
…
… No, but seriously. What is going on.
No one was teasing her, no one was trying to get on her nerves or even laughing at her enjoyment of soup. The most they did was look at her a bit and then whisper to each other, but no more than that.
Are they planning something?
Gabrielle blinked slowly, looking around to try and find an explanation, but every single girl she looked at immediately averted her gaze and pretended not to see the redhead. They usually confronted her without hesitation! Why would they suddenly not even try to hurt her?
The answer was very easy to divine, so much so that Gabi was able to find it after a few moments: They were afraid, clearly unnerved by her presence once again. They had sublimated fear into hatred long ago, and now that hatred was condensating right back into fear.
And Gabrielle was not sure if she liked this sensation.
Sister Arianna had warned her that if she behaved like an angry beast people would definitely change the way they see her, but she didn’t expect it so fast! Now that they feared her, maybe they were planning something even worse.
I ruined it all again…?
Frustration built up in Gabi’s chest, as she didn’t really miss being the target of harassment at all, but that didn’t make this strange isolation any easier to take. A nervous, dangerous kind of calm, like the silence that precedes the Father’s shouts when he gets angry: you can’t really enjoy it because you know what’s coming next. And maybe that was the worst part: She didn’t even know what they were up to now!
But she would put all of the power of her small child brain to try and guess it, prepare for whatever they would try now! No matter how long it took!
—
Sister Tasce took a long breath before clearing her throat as loudly as possible, standing up from her seat to get everyone’s attention. This was her chance to be the center of the table after all: without Father Enrico and Sister Marina, she was the next one in command! So, everyone had to listen to her.
“All right, girls. It’s bedtime, I want to see everyone going straight to the chambers, exceeeept…”
It was always like this, at least on the days when Gabrielle was not pulled out of the table before dinner was done: Two or three girls were selected, usually depending on their behavior, to stay behind and clean the dishes before joining the rest in bed.
Considering all the ruckus of the day, the ones chosen for tonight’s duty weren’t surprising to anyone.
“Gabrielle and Samantha. You two have work to do today! And we don’t want to hear any fuss about it!!”
Of course the rest of the girls laughed about it as they walked off, but not even that felt as meanspirited as usual. Gabi remained on her seat, quiet and still like a statue, her eyes wide open as her mind’s inner workings spun in who knows what direction. Samantha took a deep breath, rubbing her hands together and hesitatingly approaching Gabrielle.
She had no idea what to think, or what the redhead was even meditating on. It was a very well-known fact that this Witch tended to freeze in place all of a sudden, and simply stare into space without moving a muscle. They had seen her do that for almost an entire afternoon! And worst of all was the fact that she didn’t blink, not once, during that whole time.
But for some reason, since seeing the girl’s less violent and weird side, Sam didn’t feel as repelled by Gabi’s behavior. She even pitied the girl a little, Gabrielle didn’t ask to be like this now, did she? It’s like Sam, who didn’t ask to be that tall at all, and people still bothered her for it! So maybe she should give this Witch a chance?
Be brave, Sammy. Be brave… she’s not an animal, she’s a person like you…
Chance or not, the memories of a recent attack were way too fresh in Samantha’s mind to casually approach Gabrielle. The tall, blond girl had to repeat this to herself several times, trying her darndest not to avert her gaze from the quiet, unblinking Witch as she approached and then carefully tapped on the table near them. Sam had learned the hard way that touching Gabi was an absolutely terrible idea.
“Gabrielle? Gabrielle?? Wake up.” She tapped insistently. “We’re gonna get in trouble and I am not going to do all the work for you!”
Tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. Gabi’s eyes blinked and focused once more as the girl returned to the waking world, looking around herself for a second before focusing on Samantha and remaining quiet as a tombstone, staring and waiting for her to say her piece; Sam, of course, couldn’t simply guess that, for she was used to simply be told to speak before actually starting speaking.
So they stood there, awkwardly staring for much more time than necessary, trapped in a social cage until one of them finally relented: and it was Gabrielle! Maybe it was due to actually having someone to talk to during the last day and a half, but differently to any other time in her life, she actually felt the strange compulsion to fill the silence somehow.
“You’re late for sleeping.” Mentioned the redhead, checking around. “Everyone else is gone, why are you still here.”
“Uhm, we have cleaning duty today.” Sam responded, blinking a few times; had this girl somehow missed the order? Impossible, Sister Tasce’s voice could not be ignored, it was that annoying. But then, was this a prank of sorts? “Get up and let’s finish this quickly.”
“There’s no one else here?” Gabrielle frowned slightly, looking around herself and under the table.
Now what is she looking for? Does she think someone will jump her or—oh.
Understandment came to Samantha while staring at her nervous companion: of course she was looking around, people had attacked her once today already! There was nothing to stop them from doing it again. And being constantly on the lookout for danger was a great way to become jumpy and violent.
Sam rubbed her arm slightly, the guilt showering her like cold rain.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, the others are gone already.” Samantha tried to pat the girl on the back, but Gabi retracted herself immediately. Figures. “Sorry… but, really. We are alone this time, no one to mess with you. Promise.”
Gabrielle stared right at her, her face like chiseled in brownstone, but her eyes brightly showing their distrust. Sam sighed, I wouldn’t believe myself either, she needs proof! At least her empathy was perfectly in tune with the nervous Witch, but that didn’t mean she had any idea of how to prove there would be no more pranks that night.
So instead she decided to copy Gabi’s movements, watching around with her, under the table, and walking over to open the counters in the kitchen.
“See? Empty!” Sam smiled. “If anyone jumps at us, I’ll let you punch me again.”
“Does it still hurt? Gabrielle asked, now reminded of that. “I am sorry.”
“Oi, oi! It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt at all, don’t worry!”
Samantha was lying shamelessly and she didn’t even know why, her face was still feeling a bit swollen from the beat down. But that at least seemed to calm the fear in Gabrielle’s eyes, so it was enough for the time. The redheaded girl would start picking up the dishes and carrying them to the sink, where Samantha would bring buckets of water to fill it.
As Gabi focused more and more on the new task, Samantha couldn’t help but look at her for a moment, idly scrubbing an iron pan. She always has this expression of being deep in thought, always busy on something that doesn’t make sense… but maybe it makes an odd sort of sense to her?
Maybe the things she thinks are special, hard to explain? No one can just look out into the distance and not think!
What are you thinking about, Gabrielle…?
“Does it hurt?” Samantha asked, all of a sudden.
“Does what hurt?” Gabrielle didn’t look away from her dishes as she cleaned.
“When people touch you. You always avoid letting people touch you, does it hurt?”
The redhead stopped right there, blinking and then staring into her own reflection in the murky waters for a moment. Samantha tried to imagine what the girl could be thinking, she wasn’t sure if Gabi was bothered by an obvious question, or if she was surprised for legitimately never asking herself that before.
“... It feels wrong. It doesn’t hurt, but it feels wrong.”
“Wrong? Like, slimy and disgusting?”
“No. But yes.” Gabrielle frowned for a moment, moving her hands trying to convey the feeling. “It’s not like, filthy. It’s not like that. But it just feels uncomfortable and bad.”
“Is it with everyone?”
“Why do you ask?”
Sam stopped herself there, gulping loudly. Why did she ask?
“I…”
The girl looked around for a moment, making sure no one was spying. She had no real way of knowing that, but at least tried to find any curious eyes before speaking again.
“... I am sorry.”
Gabrielle blinked.
“For what? For the punches and pulls? Your punches are soft anyways, and you already apologized.”
“They are not that soft!!” Samantha grew even more flustered, but tried her best to calm down. “And no, it’s not that! It’s just… everything.“ Samantha was not the one who bothered Gabrielle the most, but she did do it. Everyone did it… and now, for some reason, her heart was so overwhelmed by the guilt that just pretending things were fine was killing her inside.
“For everything. I just want to know how to be friends…”
“You… want to be friends with me?” Gabi completely let go of the dishes, turning to face Sam. “But I punched you hard.”
“Yes! But I bothered you bad first, right? Look! It doesn’t matter anymore!!” Samantha was trying her best to get overwhelmed by Gabi’s gaze. Her face reddened. “I want to be good to you now, and if that means we are friends then that’s fine! I will see if the others can leave you alone too, okay!?”
Without noticing, Samantha had closed her eyes for a moment there. When she opened them, Gabrielle’s face betrayed a hint of confusion. Fear, excitement, something intense like that. Little tears wanted to escape her.
“...Are you sure you are not trying to prank me?” She asked, in a much lower voice.
“I pinky swear.” Sam offered her pinky, but seeing Gabrielle doubting, she shook her head. “Ah, right, touching… Uhm, well, I… I just swear then!”
Gabi kept quiet for a moment looking down and thinking once more. Was she still doubting? Even if a part of Sam felt offended by it, she understood that it wasn’t a matter of just trusting her after all these years.
“Tell you what, give me these days to prove to you that we can be friends.” Samantha smiled. “Is that better?”
“... Yes.” Gabrielle finally answered. “Yes, that is better.”
“Good! You will see, I will be a good friend!” Samantha patted her own chest and then, after cleaning the last dishes, she stood up and grabbed a bucket. “And I will start by doing this myself. You can rest!”
“You’ll throw the water? But it is heavy, and your arms are like noodles.”
Sam flinched there, but pretended not to hear that last part.
“It’s my way of saying sorry. So, you rest and wait for me. If you go back alone the others will think you did something to me!”
“Oh…! I didn’t even think of that.” Gabrielle’s eyes sparkled there. “You’re smart!”
“Hahaha, no, I just know them well.” Samantha’s heart jumped a little, not a lot of people called her smart. “Now outta my way, this should only take a moment!!
—
Gabrielle simply stood in place while staring, watching how the much taller yet much scrawnier girl grabbed buckets full of filthy water, and with great effort carried them out to toss them into the fields. Once and again, visibly struggling each time and yet looking at the redheaded girl with determination in her eyes. And for some reason, Gabi felt… moved by this. A little uncomfortable at first, for she did not enjoy talking much about herself, but this little gesture.
It made her smile.
It was similar to when she talked to Baraqiel, but at the same time so different. She could perfectly let Baraqiel hug her, or the young Sisters, but Samantha? Not yet, the idea of having her too close made her shake to the core.
But now, for the first time? She felt that maybe she could try one day. Maybe, if things kept this pace.
And maybe, if things kept this pace, she could actually be brave enough to call her a friend.
Dinner time came earlier than usual in the Chapel: without the Father to bless their food and give his usual monologue, and without Sister Marina to do her best to imitate it in length and tediousness, Sister Tasce’s quick summary of all the reasons why bad girls go to Hell was done quickly and painlessly! She must have been hungry as well.
Tonight’s soup felt saltier than usual, which could have thrown some people out of the loop but it was quite appreciated by Gabrielle, who’s mood improved as quickly as she was able to get the first spoonfuls. There were many things to think about, the Demiurge and his secrets, how to help Baraqiel and keep them safe, and why did she feel like things were suddenly so complex and scary…
Not too long ago, Gabi was convinced she understood it all! It had taken quite a long time of her life, but finally the world was making sense: if she kept quiet things would be better, and if she did as she was told no one would hurt her— weren’t those the rules that guided reality?
Did she spend all these years learning lies?
And if that was the case, then whatever could she even do about it?
With a pouty grimace on her face she continued to devour her soup, pushing her head against the issue without managing to move it an inch, until something else caught her attention: Silence. Not absolute silence of course, that would be impossible at Dinner time with so many people chatting and their spoons clanking against the bowls; it was a silence directly aimed at her.
Don’t get distracted!!
The girl shook her head quickly, trying to recover and properly address her issues: most specifically the Demiurge. The Sisters said he wanted to become an Angel himself, was that funny shape that Baraqiel showed her really the key to it? Maybe it held secrets, like… liiike…
…
… No, but seriously. What is going on.
No one was teasing her, no one was trying to get on her nerves or even laughing at her enjoyment of soup. The most they did was look at her a bit and then whisper to each other, but no more than that.
Are they planning something?
Gabrielle blinked slowly, looking around to try and find an explanation, but every single girl she looked at immediately averted her gaze and pretended not to see the redhead. They usually confronted her without hesitation! Why would they suddenly not even try to hurt her?
The answer was very easy to divine, so much so that Gabi was able to find it after a few moments: They were afraid, clearly unnerved by her presence once again. They had sublimated fear into hatred long ago, and now that hatred was condensating right back into fear.
And Gabrielle was not sure if she liked this sensation.
Sister Arianna had warned her that if she behaved like an angry beast people would definitely change the way they see her, but she didn’t expect it so fast! Now that they feared her, maybe they were planning something even worse.
I ruined it all again…?
Frustration built up in Gabi’s chest, as she didn’t really miss being the target of harassment at all, but that didn’t make this strange isolation any easier to take. A nervous, dangerous kind of calm, like the silence that precedes the Father’s shouts when he gets angry: you can’t really enjoy it because you know what’s coming next. And maybe that was the worst part: She didn’t even know what they were up to now!
But she would put all of the power of her small child brain to try and guess it, prepare for whatever they would try now! No matter how long it took!
—
Sister Tasce took a long breath before clearing her throat as loudly as possible, standing up from her seat to get everyone’s attention. This was her chance to be the center of the table after all: without Father Enrico and Sister Marina, she was the next one in command! So, everyone had to listen to her.
“All right, girls. It’s bedtime, I want to see everyone going straight to the chambers, exceeeept…”
It was always like this, at least on the days when Gabrielle was not pulled out of the table before dinner was done: Two or three girls were selected, usually depending on their behavior, to stay behind and clean the dishes before joining the rest in bed.
Considering all the ruckus of the day, the ones chosen for tonight’s duty weren’t surprising to anyone.
“Gabrielle and Samantha. You two have work to do today! And we don’t want to hear any fuss about it!!”
Of course the rest of the girls laughed about it as they walked off, but not even that felt as meanspirited as usual. Gabi remained on her seat, quiet and still like a statue, her eyes wide open as her mind’s inner workings spun in who knows what direction. Samantha took a deep breath, rubbing her hands together and hesitatingly approaching Gabrielle.
She had no idea what to think, or what the redhead was even meditating on. It was a very well-known fact that this Witch tended to freeze in place all of a sudden, and simply stare into space without moving a muscle. They had seen her do that for almost an entire afternoon! And worst of all was the fact that she didn’t blink, not once, during that whole time.
But for some reason, since seeing the girl’s less violent and weird side, Sam didn’t feel as repelled by Gabi’s behavior. She even pitied the girl a little, Gabrielle didn’t ask to be like this now, did she? It’s like Sam, who didn’t ask to be that tall at all, and people still bothered her for it! So maybe she should give this Witch a chance?
Be brave, Sammy. Be brave… she’s not an animal, she’s a person like you…
Chance or not, the memories of a recent attack were way too fresh in Samantha’s mind to casually approach Gabrielle. The tall, blond girl had to repeat this to herself several times, trying her darndest not to avert her gaze from the quiet, unblinking Witch as she approached and then carefully tapped on the table near them. Sam had learned the hard way that touching Gabi was an absolutely terrible idea.
“Gabrielle? Gabrielle?? Wake up.” She tapped insistently. “We’re gonna get in trouble and I am not going to do all the work for you!”
Tap. Tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. Gabi’s eyes blinked and focused once more as the girl returned to the waking world, looking around herself for a second before focusing on Samantha and remaining quiet as a tombstone, staring and waiting for her to say her piece; Sam, of course, couldn’t simply guess that, for she was used to simply be told to speak before actually starting speaking.
So they stood there, awkwardly staring for much more time than necessary, trapped in a social cage until one of them finally relented: and it was Gabrielle! Maybe it was due to actually having someone to talk to during the last day and a half, but differently to any other time in her life, she actually felt the strange compulsion to fill the silence somehow.
“You’re late for sleeping.” Mentioned the redhead, checking around. “Everyone else is gone, why are you still here.”
“Uhm, we have cleaning duty today.” Sam responded, blinking a few times; had this girl somehow missed the order? Impossible, Sister Tasce’s voice could not be ignored, it was that annoying. But then, was this a prank of sorts? “Get up and let’s finish this quickly.”
“There’s no one else here?” Gabrielle frowned slightly, looking around herself and under the table.
Now what is she looking for? Does she think someone will jump her or—oh.
Understandment came to Samantha while staring at her nervous companion: of course she was looking around, people had attacked her once today already! There was nothing to stop them from doing it again. And being constantly on the lookout for danger was a great way to become jumpy and violent.
Sam rubbed her arm slightly, the guilt showering her like cold rain.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, the others are gone already.” Samantha tried to pat the girl on the back, but Gabi retracted herself immediately. Figures. “Sorry… but, really. We are alone this time, no one to mess with you. Promise.”
Gabrielle stared right at her, her face like chiseled in brownstone, but her eyes brightly showing their distrust. Sam sighed, I wouldn’t believe myself either, she needs proof! At least her empathy was perfectly in tune with the nervous Witch, but that didn’t mean she had any idea of how to prove there would be no more pranks that night.
So instead she decided to copy Gabi’s movements, watching around with her, under the table, and walking over to open the counters in the kitchen.
“See? Empty!” Sam smiled. “If anyone jumps at us, I’ll let you punch me again.”
“Does it still hurt? Gabrielle asked, now reminded of that. “I am sorry.”
“Oi, oi! It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt at all, don’t worry!”
Samantha was lying shamelessly and she didn’t even know why, her face was still feeling a bit swollen from the beat down. But that at least seemed to calm the fear in Gabrielle’s eyes, so it was enough for the time. The redheaded girl would start picking up the dishes and carrying them to the sink, where Samantha would bring buckets of water to fill it.
As Gabi focused more and more on the new task, Samantha couldn’t help but look at her for a moment, idly scrubbing an iron pan. She always has this expression of being deep in thought, always busy on something that doesn’t make sense… but maybe it makes an odd sort of sense to her?
Maybe the things she thinks are special, hard to explain? No one can just look out into the distance and not think!
What are you thinking about, Gabrielle…?
“Does it hurt?” Samantha asked, all of a sudden.
“Does what hurt?” Gabrielle didn’t look away from her dishes as she cleaned.
“When people touch you. You always avoid letting people touch you, does it hurt?”
The redhead stopped right there, blinking and then staring into her own reflection in the murky waters for a moment. Samantha tried to imagine what the girl could be thinking, she wasn’t sure if Gabi was bothered by an obvious question, or if she was surprised for legitimately never asking herself that before.
“... It feels wrong. It doesn’t hurt, but it feels wrong.”
“Wrong? Like, slimy and disgusting?”
“No. But yes.” Gabrielle frowned for a moment, moving her hands trying to convey the feeling. “It’s not like, filthy. It’s not like that. But it just feels uncomfortable and bad.”
“Is it with everyone?”
“Why do you ask?”
Sam stopped herself there, gulping loudly. Why did she ask?
“I…”
The girl looked around for a moment, making sure no one was spying. She had no real way of knowing that, but at least tried to find any curious eyes before speaking again.
“... I am sorry.”
Gabrielle blinked.
“For what? For the punches and pulls? Your punches are soft anyways, and you already apologized.”
“They are not that soft!!” Samantha grew even more flustered, but tried her best to calm down. “And no, it’s not that! It’s just… everything.“ Samantha was not the one who bothered Gabrielle the most, but she did do it. Everyone did it… and now, for some reason, her heart was so overwhelmed by the guilt that just pretending things were fine was killing her inside.
“For everything. I just want to know how to be friends…”
“You… want to be friends with me?” Gabi completely let go of the dishes, turning to face Sam. “But I punched you hard.”
“Yes! But I bothered you bad first, right? Look! It doesn’t matter anymore!!” Samantha was trying her best to get overwhelmed by Gabi’s gaze. Her face reddened. “I want to be good to you now, and if that means we are friends then that’s fine! I will see if the others can leave you alone too, okay!?”
Without noticing, Samantha had closed her eyes for a moment there. When she opened them, Gabrielle’s face betrayed a hint of confusion. Fear, excitement, something intense like that. Little tears wanted to escape her.
“...Are you sure you are not trying to prank me?” She asked, in a much lower voice.
“I pinky swear.” Sam offered her pinky, but seeing Gabrielle doubting, she shook her head. “Ah, right, touching… Uhm, well, I… I just swear then!”
Gabi kept quiet for a moment looking down and thinking once more. Was she still doubting? Even if a part of Sam felt offended by it, she understood that it wasn’t a matter of just trusting her after all these years.
“Tell you what, give me these days to prove to you that we can be friends.” Samantha smiled. “Is that better?”
“... Yes.” Gabrielle finally answered. “Yes, that is better.”
“Good! You will see, I will be a good friend!” Samantha patted her own chest and then, after cleaning the last dishes, she stood up and grabbed a bucket. “And I will start by doing this myself. You can rest!”
“You’ll throw the water? But it is heavy, and your arms are like noodles.”
Sam flinched there, but pretended not to hear that last part.
“It’s my way of saying sorry. So, you rest and wait for me. If you go back alone the others will think you did something to me!”
“Oh…! I didn’t even think of that.” Gabrielle’s eyes sparkled there. “You’re smart!”
“Hahaha, no, I just know them well.” Samantha’s heart jumped a little, not a lot of people called her smart. “Now outta my way, this should only take a moment!!
—
Gabrielle simply stood in place while staring, watching how the much taller yet much scrawnier girl grabbed buckets full of filthy water, and with great effort carried them out to toss them into the fields. Once and again, visibly struggling each time and yet looking at the redheaded girl with determination in her eyes. And for some reason, Gabi felt… moved by this. A little uncomfortable at first, for she did not enjoy talking much about herself, but this little gesture.
It made her smile.
It was similar to when she talked to Baraqiel, but at the same time so different. She could perfectly let Baraqiel hug her, or the young Sisters, but Samantha? Not yet, the idea of having her too close made her shake to the core.
But now, for the first time? She felt that maybe she could try one day. Maybe, if things kept this pace.
And maybe, if things kept this pace, she could actually be brave enough to call her a friend.
