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Published at 27th of April 2021 10:52:21 AM


Chapter 143

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[The Two’s Dead Feelings]

Tsurugi slowly narrows the little distance between us. I glance at the white-haired girl walking next to him, Yumesaki Aika.

They should have been on the run for more than two weeks, but they both look fine.

No, it is more correct to say that they only look fine, huh.

“Roll-chan too, it’s been a long time.” (Tsurugi)

“Yes.” (Roll)

Tsurugi smiles a little at Roll standing diagonally behind me.

It seems that he will stick to the attitude of not showing hostility to the end.

There is part of me hoping a bit that this reunion would awaken his desire for revenge, but well, things going according to plan like this is fine.

Tsurugi returns his line of sight towards me.

“Your hair sure has grown a lot.” (Tsurugi)

“As for you, you are quite… worn out.” (Shion)

Even though he has dressed up and keeps up his smile, he can’t fool me.

There are black circles under his eyes. His skin dry and dull, and he even has some fine wrinkles.

Our former classmates would definitely be surprised seeing the current appearance of Tsurugi’s, who was said to be the most handsome boy at school.

“That’s the same for both of us, right?” (Tsurugi)

“……You’re right.” (Shion)

*Rattle*

The sound of the shutter closing of some store echoes in the deserted shopping street.

“……This is not a good place to talk. So, how about we go to a suitable shop somewhere?” (Shion)

“Let’s,” With Tsurugi’s consent, we decide to leave the shopping street.

Having entered a coffee shop that we found not far from the shopping street, we decide to get separate seats with me being with Tsurugi, and Roll with Yumesaki Aika.

Because the content of the talk can’t be leaked – so Tsurugi suggested. Since I was intending to talk alone with him, in the first place, I accepted his suggestion.

Tsurugi and I are guided to counter seats, and Roll and Yumesaki Aika are guided to window table seats for two people.

Because we chose a shop that seems to be less popular, the customers other than us are sparse.

Roll, sitting at the table, turns her worried gaze this way, but the one in the disadvantage in this pairing is Tsurugi.

In the unlikely event, Roll can take Yumesaki Aika as a hostage.

However, despite knowing that, Tsurugi still dares to leave Yumesaki Aika in Roll’s care.

As though to make me not to be wary.

He persistently appeals that he has forgiven me.

“Thank you for waiting.”

“Thanks.”

The two coffees we ordered are served not long after we got to our seats.

After sipping it a little, Tsurugi breaks the silence that have been continuing on for a while,

“Just to make sure, Hitomi is safe, right?” (Tsurugi)

“Ahh,” I answer, then silence descends again.

About General Ichinose going to cooperate with us. About Boss. About whether or not Tsurugi has his own information.

There are many things I would like to talk about for the future.

However, since we are left alone, the air to be able to talk about that sort of things has gone.

What we have to talk about is…… no, what Tsurugi want to talk about is not something like that.

Though I’ve known that I have to start talking about it first to curry his favor, however, I hesitate after coming here. Even though something such as pride is cheap compared to my life. There’s a part of me feeling that only for Tsurugi, I can’t throw it away.

But I have to talk. The feud between me and Tsurugi is definitely a life-threatening issue if we were to form a cooperative relationship.

I take a small breath.

I resolv- no, I give in.

“Tsurugi,” I open my mouth.

“Do you really have forgiven me?” (Shion)

I start working on getting his real intention.

Tsurugi quietly closed his eyes,

“I haven’t forgiven you. I definitely can’t forgive you. But…” (Tsurugi)

I feel relieved at the same time becoming vigilant at the weighty words he uttered without hesitation.

Tsurugi hasn’t forgiven me.

Just knowing that, I feel that the uncontrollable anger and sickness that has accumulated in my stomach are alleviated.

I turn my body toward Tsurugi.

“You hate me… and you want to kill me, right…? Even so when we were on the phone you said ‘no’. What is ‘no’ about? What is ‘that’s not the case’ about?

At that time, why did you say sorry and apologize? At that time, you weren’t going to cooperate with us, so you shouldn’t have to apologize, right?

What was there for you to apologize to me about. Hey.” (Shion)

Once I started, everything overflowed out. Irritations, doubts.

Tsurugi bring the coffee to his mouth again, sipping it.

“Hear me out.” (Tsurugi)

“…………” (Shion)

Tsurugi’s tired voice make me turn silent.

“I’ve been thinking…… I want to forgive Kazato. And I also want to be forgiven,” Tsurugi says while facing forward.

What is this guy want me to forgive him for? I don’t understand.

Was it for not reaching up to me the day I manifested?

Something like that is irrelevant now. It was my choice. Everything was my fault. There’s nothing for him to be forgiven for. So, there’s no reason for him to receive an apology or such.

“I want Kazato…… to return to be my best friend.” (Tsurugi)

Having such selfish words imposed on me, I feel like the fury I felt at that time is about to be awoken inside me again.

I grit my teeth and squeeze my left hand on the counter.

Furrowing, I desperately suppress my rage.

I can’t go back anymore, right?

I can’t imagine the future of us laughing at each other to silly talks. Because Rin is no longer there after all.

Even if we grow old, we won’t be able to enjoy talks about the past. Because at that time, we will be remembering Rin.

We can’t go back to being best friends. No matter what happens.

“I want to save Kazato. So, I must not be trapped in useless feelings such as anger and hatred.” (Tsurugi)

Shut your trap.

Feeling like shouting so, I breathe out deeply.

Not good, calm down.

What do I get angry about?

Don’t I just have to read the air, go with the flow, and give suitable response to make Tsurugi feel refreshed?

“……By save, from what do you want to save me?” (Shion)

“From the one who make you under the impression that you have no choice but live stained in evil, ‘Shion’.” (Tsurugi)

“Don’t talk like you know anything!” (Shion)

*Bang*

I hit the counter table with my fist.

The eyes of the clerk and other customers are gathered on us, but it doesn’t matter.

“It must be easy… to say such a thing as an outsider. You don’t even know what I’ve sacrificed, with what kind of feelings I’ve been living through to this day.

Rin…… even Rin was also like that.” (Shion)

“Stop.” (Tsurugi)

Twitch. Tsurugi’s fingertips tremble. Foreseeing the horrible words that I’m about to speak out loud.

Seeing that, joy arises within me.

Just as I thought, you must be hating me. Don’t impose me with your selfish hypocrisy.

“She’s also one of the things I’ve sacrificed. When I faced her, I thought;” (Shion)

“…Stop. Don’t talk about Rin.” (Tsurugi)

“‘I have to kill her here… I have to part with her… otherwise, I won’t be able to continue to live.’

That was why I killed her. I didn’t care even if she died as long as I could live!” (Shion)

“Stop!!” (Tsurugi)

Along with a bellow, Tsurugi grabs me by the collar.

His bloodshot eyes are looking sharply at my eyes.

I raise my hand to Roll who is about to stop him.

“Don’t talk about Rin…!” Twisting my collar, he imposes on me.

The corners of my mouth spontaneously raise up.

“Haha… don’t you want to forgive me?

…Well, that wouldn’t be possible… I don’t want to be forgiven. And I won’t change. Tsurugi, you won’t be able to forgive me for the rest of your life.

I won’t reflect. I have no regrets. Rather, I’m glad I killed both your father and Rin…!” (Shion)

*Whack* Tsurugi’s fist hits the middle of my forehead; I roll over the chair behind me to the ground.

“Tsurugi!” Roll grabs Yumesaki Aika by the hair and pins her down on the table with a thud.

“Roll stop, it’s fine!” I get up while holding my nose and stop Roll again.

“Ouch,” Yumesaki Aika mutters with a voice that sounds as though it is someone else’s problem.

Without looking that way, I look at Tsurugi looking down at me while heaving his shoulders up and down, then I realize.

……I see. So that’s why he let Roll and Yumesaki Aika together.

Even if his anger towards me erupts again, if Roll takes Yumesaki Aika hostage, he will be deterred.

How dare he looks down on me.

“But…!” (Roll)

“I’m fine.” (Shion)

After I said so, Roll releases Yumesaki Aika with a reluctant look.

Casually wiping off the blood flowing down my nose, I put my hands behind me.

“Now, come. You can hit me all you want until I’m on the verge of dying. I get you. Violence sure is refreshing, isn’t it?” (Shion)

“Kh!” (Tsurugi)

Ahh, this is another blunder. I’m sure that Yoiyami-san is also ‘watching’.

However, brutally honest conversation like this is what Tsurugi wished for. The talk might not be going in a positive direction, but only in this I’m not going to back down.

The clerk at the other side of the counter is trying to report to the army, seeing we fight, which is an unusual occurrence.

I replace what he says with suitable words, preventing him,

With this, they should think it is just a prank call.

Well, we still can’t stay long.

When I see Tsurugi grits his teeth, I can’t suppress my mouth from grinning.

“Don’t push yourself, Tsurugi.

Even though you become like this with just a bit provocation, what’s with wanting to save, wanting to forgive. This is just what you really are,” I say with a flippant smile on my face.

Tsurugi closes his eyes and exhales deeply.

After what seemingly a short and long silence, Tsurugi opens his eyes.

“You sure are desperate to be hated by me.” (Tsurugi)

“Ha……?” (Shion)

Receiving incomprehensible reply, my expression almost distort.

“You, too, don’t push yourself.” (Tsurugi)

For some reason, Tsurugi regains his calm and looks at me with contempt in his eyes.

“I get it now. Yes, forgiveness itself is the greatest way to get revenge on Kazato.

That’s why I’ll forgive Kazato someday. No matter how long it takes.

Even if I can’t get Kazato to forgive me,” He says in that enlightened manner again.

Even though my mood just turns good, when he takes this attitude, my anger surges incorrigibly.

I pretend to be calm and laugh so that he won’t realize it.

“Hah, what are you saying…? I’ve said it many times, right? I have nothing to forgive you for.

Whether you forgive me or not, that’s just your own thought, I honestly don’t care anyway.” (Shion)

“That’s not true.” (Tsurugi)

I frown at Tsurugi stating so clearly.

“Kazato, you find salvation by being hated by me, aren’t you?

You want me to hate you because you killed Rin, don’t you?

Otherwise, you feel pain, not being blamed by anyone, right?

Since it feels easier if you are hated, you depend on me.

In the end, you’re just running away as usual.” (Tsurugi)

“……Haa? The heck are you talking about?” (Shion)

That’s not true.

Even though that shouldn’t be true, I end up hesitating to say it out loud.

With a bitter look, Tsurugi continues regardless,

“I’m sorry. I know it was unforgiveable.

I also know I can’t make an excuse like it was something I can do nothing about.

But please let me apologize. I want Kazato to forgive me.” (Tsurugi)

“……I said, for what?” (Shion)

I can hear Tsurugi’s sounds.

He doesn’t deny me. His heartbeat accelerates little by little.

“For not telling you my ability manifested first… for hiding the fact I joined the Self-Defense Forces. For leaving you behind and becoming stronger.

For not being able to reach out to you that day and……!” (Tsurugi)

From there, I silence the sounds Tsurugi makes.

However, his last words reach me.

── For robbing Rin from you!

“Shut up!!!” (Shion)

At the same time as I shout, I fire a Sound-Shot.

The shockwave accompanying the explosion sound engulfs everything in the surrounding and blows Tsurugi before me away.

Dust cloud flutters.

Sand falls from the ceiling.

I immediately erase the scream of someone echoing in the shop.

“Tsurugi-san!” Yumesaki Aika runs toward the dust cloud, however, Roll silently holds her arm.

Soon the dust cloud clears up.

Among the several customers, spilling blood and getting caught in the blown off rubbles, Tsurugi collapsed. At that sight, Yumesaki drops on her knees.

“……Why?” I grasp my face.

Tsurugi did not use his ability.

It should have been an attack that he could have easily prevented with Interference Denial ‘Master Cancel’.

And above all, I notice an irritating fact.

Did I unconsciously adjust the power of the Sound-Shot I fired…?

Tsurugi looks to be fatally injured and is unconscious, but his heartbeat is pulsing firmly.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit……! Dammit!!” I scratch off my hair with one hand.

“Shion…” (Roll)

When Roll calls my name, the door of the half-broken coffee shop is kicked open by someone.

Still scratching my messed-up hair, I turn my gaze there.

The one who comes in from there is Utsusemi-san.

“Buhah, this sure is a mess, ain’t it?” Utsusemi-san walks to Tsurugi’s side.

“Ah—, this will take two days to heal.” (Utsusemi)

He then lifts up the unconscious Tsurugi and looks at me.

“Geez, when blood get to your head, you sure also become so stupid that you can’t even say a thing about me.” (Utsusemi)

“…………”

“C’mon, let’s quickly leave before the army comes.” (Utsusemi)





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