[The Heart’s Judgement]
At feeding time, Renga is released to the Tsuhara Plateau
Then, the released Renga’s roar echoes through the plains, and the demon beasts inhabiting the area begin to escape.
By repeating this, the Tsuhara Plateau became Renga’s territory, and the number of demon beasts has decreased.
Even if the number decreases, it does not affect Renga’s hunting, but it is bad if the demon beasts completely disappears from the Tsuhara Plateau.
Therefore, I decided to divide Renga’s hunting ground in consideration of it.
I thought that turning the hunting ground in rotation might prevent the demon beasts from decreasing.
I don’t plan to keep it in the cage all the time, so I think that this will give me some time.
Because Renga can’t be released when I’m not around, the branch staff is feeding it in the cage.
It seems that the guy who lost the rock-paper-scissors will feeds Renga, everyone seems quite scared.
Well, I’m scared too.
“WOOAAAA!!! STOP! STOP RENGA!!”
That’s why I and Roll are currently flying on Renga’s back in the sky.
I’m screaming while hitting Renga’s scale repeatedly.
Renga is being playful, and we were swinging on it’s back.
Roll clings to my back and I cling to Renga’s neck.
I have to be careful because if I put my finger between it’s scales, it will be cut and the meat will be cut off.
The burden on me is high.
“Look, Shion! The scenery is amazing!”
“IT’S NOT THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT!”
Roll seems to be enjoying this thrill ride.
It was because of Roll’s suggestion that I decided to fly on Renga’s back.
I’ve been doing it since yesterday, but it’s scary after all.
“RENGA! I TOLD YOU TO STOP!!”
“Gau!”
The voice that I made louder using my ability seemed to finally reach the Renga’s ears, then Renga lowered its altitude and landed on the plain on the ground.
I jump down from Renga’s back and sink into the ground.
Renga rubbed it’s nose against me.
It hurts.
“You won’t be able to handle it like that.”
Then Roll that came down from the back of Renga told me.
“I won’t be able to handle like this rightー”
“How pathetic.”
It would be convenient if I could ride it and use it for movement, but it might be better to wait for Renga to become bigger.
Because it is at the age where it wants to play the most now, so it’s almost impossible to handle it.
I take a breath and check the time on my watch.
The time is 9:00 am.
“It’s already 9 o’clock?”
“Come to think of it, you made a promise with Tsurugi and co to meet up at noon.”
“Yeah.”
“Then, let’s return soon. I think Renga already had a good exercise.”
I stayed at the Tsuhara branch for two days and played with it.
I’ve also inconvenienced the people in the branch, so the only thing I could do was taking care of Renga as much as possible.
“You’re right.”
Then we returned Renga to the Tsuhara branch and go back to the city.
一一一
“Actually, we belong to the Self Defense Forces.”
It was a sudden confession.
In the regular coffee shop. It was the time when I have finished eating with the usual members, such as Tsurugi, I, Rin, and Ohashi, and was wondering if I should order a dessert.
“Sorry, that we’ve been keeping silent all this time.”
While I was troubled on how to react, the expression of the other party happened to be the same as well.
Roll isn’t here.
At school, the five of us often hang out together, but outside of school, we rarely hang out with five people.
Since Tsurugi and co think that I’m dating Roll, when I made promise to play with them, they always told me to take Roll along,
but in the end, Roll always declined.
The reason they didn’t ask me to take Roll along this time is because they were going to confess to me, huh.
Rin and Ohashi are looking down, and Tsurugi is looking straight at my eyes with a serious expression.
However, there is also a somewhat uneasy atmosphere about him.
The time is late afternoon.
I can’t say that our regular coffee shop is popular, so there are no customers around us.
The only thing that can be heard is the background music played by the master and the sound of the car running on the opposite road.
First of all, why was this confession the first question that came up?
However, to answer that question first, I was too calm.
Since I should know this fact for the first time, I have to react differently.
“…seriously?”
For the time being, I asked him so.
I mean, it’s troubling if I’m told that they’re actually Self Defense Force.
There should more. Like a detailed explanation as to why they hide it.
…Is it that they didn’t do it, or is it a sign of their sincerity?
Well, it’s fine.
It’s not like I’m angry.
I’m just confused by the sudden confession.
However, if I didn’t know in advance that they were ability user and they were part of Self Defense Force, this might not have been the case.
“Truly…I can’t say my rank, but I belong to the Self Defense Force in a special way.
And we are all ability user.”
Special way, huh.
Well, it seems that he wasn’t on the list that the boss had, it feels like ‘as expected’.
“…Why did you guys hide it…?”
“Because, Kazuto don’t have ability…I didn’t want to make you feel inferior.
And about the SDF, I can’t say it because of circumstances.”
“So why did you decided to say it now?”
“That’s…”
Tsurugi’s words got stuck.
Then Rin started talking.
“That is, Kazato, you saw my ability right…? So…”
“Oh.”
Indeed, so they think that they can’t hide it anymore huh.
I intended to pretend that I didn’t notice it, but it seems impossible.
But that’s not all.
“That reaction, you have an inkling of it after all…”
Ohashi said.
Somehow, she interprets it in a good way.
Actually, it was troublesome to solve this problem, so I just ignore it.
“…Kazato, are you angry?”
Rin, sitting next to me, asked me timidly.
“No, I’m not angry.”
I replied.
Then, Tsurugi and co looked surprised.
“Really? I was prepared to be hit y’know?”
“That is exaggerated.
After all, even if you guys were at the Self Defense Force, it wouldn’t affect our relationship, right?
Well, as Ohashi said, I have noticed that you guys were hiding something.”
I thought that was a good guy’s line even if I say so myself.
However, that was because I had arranged it in advance.
Also, it’s because I hide something as well.
Yes, Anonymous.
In my case, I can’t confide it like this.
Being revealed means breaking up our relationship.
And it’s not limited to these guys.
With my family. With everyone at school.
I will definitely have to go to the other side.
I think that such a day will come someday.
Do I have the resolution for such time?
“But Kazato is…”
Rin shut her mouth.
“What is it, Rin? Is it because I’m the only one who has no ability?
Certainly, I admit that it’s a little shocking, but it can’t be helped, right.”
“You’re wrong, it wasn’t…no, it was.”
A strange silence is born.
What? What do you want to say.
“Kazato, what do you want to be in the future?”
Tsurugi suddenly opened his mouth.
I look at Tsurugi’s eyes.
The talks suddenly changed.
Come to think of it, this guy had asked that before. Rather than “before”, he often asks me about my future.
What do you want to be? What are you going to do in the future?
Every time I answer with various textbook answers such as being a civil servant, I wonder why he ask me so many times.
Because I don’t have ability, so he is worried about my future?
…If so, then that’s an unnecessary concern.
As expected that kind of sympathy makes me uncomfortable.
Or rather it’s sad.
For a person without ability, it is one of their many bitterness.
Is that so. From the start they didn’t need to sympathize with me.
We have talked various things about people without ability, but I didn’t understand the feelings of people without ability.
However, he just being kind and worried about me.
“Future huh. What do I want to be? Or rather, what will I be?”
I tried a different way of answering than usual.
Then, Tsurugi drank the water in the cup in his hand and said,
“Kazato, do you still remember your childhood dreams?”
When I was a child. The heck is he talking about.
It was around the first year of elementary school that I met Tsurugi.
Around that time?
“Hmm.”
I usually remember it, but I can’t really remember it now.
What was it? I was quite a little rascal then, right.
Was it Dr. Mushi?
I think there were various things, but…
“What was it? I don’t remember.”
“I see.”
Tsurugi said plainly.
I am curious to have received such response.
“What was my dream as a kid?”
“You’re lying, right. You’ve always said you’d like to join the Self Defense Force since you were in kindergarten.”
Rin leaned forward and said.
“Ah. Now that you mention it, I said something like that.
Although it became an absurd story now.
“It’s not absurd at all…!”
At Tsurugi’s slightly strong words, I unintentionally fell into silence.
Silence spreads again.
“Kazato, to be honest, it is hard for someone without ability to enter the Self Defense Force.”
Tsurugi said.
“What are you saying?”
I can’t see where the talks is going.
What’s wrong with these guys?
“…The Self Defense Force has a department that studies the ability development of people without ability.”
“Yup.”
It seems that such research is being done even by Anonymous.
It is not strange for the Self Defense Force to do it.
“The study is in the process of experimenting with the human body and is now recruiting inability subjects.
…If you succeed, you may be able to develop your ability.
You can also make money.”
“…”
“If Kazato wants…, if you haven’t forgotten your dream…”
Tsurugi stopped his words there.
Looking into my eyes with a terrifying appearance.
Somehow I was standing up.
So that’s it.
The reason they revealed their identity to me is to make this proposal.
Do you want me to be a ability user?
Why?
…as expected, it’s sympathy.
The handicap of people without ability.
This is also that, but a person without without ability is close to handicapped person.
Why should I be angry?
There’s nothing to get angry about after all.
I am an ability user.
Sympathy for such me is meaningless.
Actually, I have an ability y’know, so I should be able to laugh in my heart, right?
No, I can’t laugh.
Since this ability wasn’t really necessary.
I didn’t need it.
If so, it seems I hate “ability”, huh.
I remember longing for ability all this time.
But I gave up.
“Kazato, if you have ability一”
I cut off the words that Tsurugi wanted to say.
“Ability, ability…is ability really that important?
Tsurugi, you told me someday that even if we don’t have ability, let’s do our best.
What was that…”
“…!”
I didn’t want to say it.
Since they thought about me, I didn’t want to say things that can’t be said to Tsurugi and co.
But I ended up saying it.
“I don’t need ability. I’m fine just as is.
I don’t even want to join the Self Defense Force.”
Saying that, I put the money on the desk and left the shop.
I quickly walked away from the shop.
“Shit.”
I’m the worst.
Although I actually understand their feelings.
I shelved things about being a murderer myself, I’m really a trash, huh.
In addition, this is likely to affect the long-term mission with Roll.
I’ve done it…
“Kazato!”
When I was called and turned around, there was Rin there.
She’s chasing me, huh.
I stop and look at Rin.
Rin’s breathing was ragged.
“Sorry. I knew we might hurt Kazato.
But we didn’t mean that…”
“I know.”
Even without being told that.
For a while, we were silent.
I also wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t put it into words because I didn’t know what this anger was.
When I looked down, Rin said.
“…Hey, why don’t we take a little walk?”
[The Heart’s Judgement]
At feeding time, Renga is released to the Tsuhara Plateau
Then, the released Renga’s roar echoes through the plains, and the demon beasts inhabiting the area begin to escape.
By repeating this, the Tsuhara Plateau became Renga’s territory, and the number of demon beasts has decreased.
Even if the number decreases, it does not affect Renga’s hunting, but it is bad if the demon beasts completely disappears from the Tsuhara Plateau.
Therefore, I decided to divide Renga’s hunting ground in consideration of it.
I thought that turning the hunting ground in rotation might prevent the demon beasts from decreasing.
I don’t plan to keep it in the cage all the time, so I think that this will give me some time.
Because Renga can’t be released when I’m not around, the branch staff is feeding it in the cage.
It seems that the guy who lost the rock-paper-scissors will feeds Renga, everyone seems quite scared.
Well, I’m scared too.
“WOOAAAA!!! STOP! STOP RENGA!!”
That’s why I and Roll are currently flying on Renga’s back in the sky.
I’m screaming while hitting Renga’s scale repeatedly.
Renga is being playful, and we were swinging on it’s back.
Roll clings to my back and I cling to Renga’s neck.
I have to be careful because if I put my finger between it’s scales, it will be cut and the meat will be cut off.
The burden on me is high.
“Look, Shion! The scenery is amazing!”
“IT’S NOT THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT!”
Roll seems to be enjoying this thrill ride.
It was because of Roll’s suggestion that I decided to fly on Renga’s back.
I’ve been doing it since yesterday, but it’s scary after all.
“RENGA! I TOLD YOU TO STOP!!”
“Gau!”
The voice that I made louder using my ability seemed to finally reach the Renga’s ears, then Renga lowered its altitude and landed on the plain on the ground.
I jump down from Renga’s back and sink into the ground.
Renga rubbed it’s nose against me.
It hurts.
“You won’t be able to handle it like that.”
Then Roll that came down from the back of Renga told me.
“I won’t be able to handle like this rightー”
“How pathetic.”
It would be convenient if I could ride it and use it for movement, but it might be better to wait for Renga to become bigger.
Because it is at the age where it wants to play the most now, so it’s almost impossible to handle it.
I take a breath and check the time on my watch.
The time is 9:00 am.
“It’s already 9 o’clock?”
“Come to think of it, you made a promise with Tsurugi and co to meet up at noon.”
“Yeah.”
“Then, let’s return soon. I think Renga already had a good exercise.”
I stayed at the Tsuhara branch for two days and played with it.
I’ve also inconvenienced the people in the branch, so the only thing I could do was taking care of Renga as much as possible.
“You’re right.”
Then we returned Renga to the Tsuhara branch and go back to the city.
一一一
“Actually, we belong to the Self Defense Forces.”
It was a sudden confession.
In the regular coffee shop. It was the time when I have finished eating with the usual members, such as Tsurugi, I, Rin, and Ohashi, and was wondering if I should order a dessert.
“Sorry, that we’ve been keeping silent all this time.”
While I was troubled on how to react, the expression of the other party happened to be the same as well.
Roll isn’t here.
At school, the five of us often hang out together, but outside of school, we rarely hang out with five people.
Since Tsurugi and co think that I’m dating Roll, when I made promise to play with them, they always told me to take Roll along,
but in the end, Roll always declined.
The reason they didn’t ask me to take Roll along this time is because they were going to confess to me, huh.
Rin and Ohashi are looking down, and Tsurugi is looking straight at my eyes with a serious expression.
However, there is also a somewhat uneasy atmosphere about him.
The time is late afternoon.
I can’t say that our regular coffee shop is popular, so there are no customers around us.
The only thing that can be heard is the background music played by the master and the sound of the car running on the opposite road.
First of all, why was this confession the first question that came up?
However, to answer that question first, I was too calm.
Since I should know this fact for the first time, I have to react differently.
“…seriously?”
For the time being, I asked him so.
I mean, it’s troubling if I’m told that they’re actually Self Defense Force.
There should more. Like a detailed explanation as to why they hide it.
…Is it that they didn’t do it, or is it a sign of their sincerity?
Well, it’s fine.
It’s not like I’m angry.
I’m just confused by the sudden confession.
However, if I didn’t know in advance that they were ability user and they were part of Self Defense Force, this might not have been the case.
“Truly…I can’t say my rank, but I belong to the Self Defense Force in a special way.
And we are all ability user.”
Special way, huh.
Well, it seems that he wasn’t on the list that the boss had, it feels like ‘as expected’.
“…Why did you guys hide it…?”
“Because, Kazuto don’t have ability…I didn’t want to make you feel inferior.
And about the SDF, I can’t say it because of circumstances.”
“So why did you decided to say it now?”
“That’s…”
Tsurugi’s words got stuck.
Then Rin started talking.
“That is, Kazato, you saw my ability right…? So…”
“Oh.”
Indeed, so they think that they can’t hide it anymore huh.
I intended to pretend that I didn’t notice it, but it seems impossible.
But that’s not all.
“That reaction, you have an inkling of it after all…”
Ohashi said.
Somehow, she interprets it in a good way.
Actually, it was troublesome to solve this problem, so I just ignore it.
“…Kazato, are you angry?”
Rin, sitting next to me, asked me timidly.
“No, I’m not angry.”
I replied.
Then, Tsurugi and co looked surprised.
“Really? I was prepared to be hit y’know?”
“That is exaggerated.
After all, even if you guys were at the Self Defense Force, it wouldn’t affect our relationship, right?
Well, as Ohashi said, I have noticed that you guys were hiding something.”
I thought that was a good guy’s line even if I say so myself.
However, that was because I had arranged it in advance.
Also, it’s because I hide something as well.
Yes, Anonymous.
In my case, I can’t confide it like this.
Being revealed means breaking up our relationship.
And it’s not limited to these guys.
With my family. With everyone at school.
I will definitely have to go to the other side.
I think that such a day will come someday.
Do I have the resolution for such time?
“But Kazato is…”
Rin shut her mouth.
“What is it, Rin? Is it because I’m the only one who has no ability?
Certainly, I admit that it’s a little shocking, but it can’t be helped, right.”
“You’re wrong, it wasn’t…no, it was.”
A strange silence is born.
What? What do you want to say.
“Kazato, what do you want to be in the future?”
Tsurugi suddenly opened his mouth.
I look at Tsurugi’s eyes.
The talks suddenly changed.
Come to think of it, this guy had asked that before. Rather than “before”, he often asks me about my future.
What do you want to be? What are you going to do in the future?
Every time I answer with various textbook answers such as being a civil servant, I wonder why he ask me so many times.
Because I don’t have ability, so he is worried about my future?
…If so, then that’s an unnecessary concern.
As expected that kind of sympathy makes me uncomfortable.
Or rather it’s sad.
For a person without ability, it is one of their many bitterness.
Is that so. From the start they didn’t need to sympathize with me.
We have talked various things about people without ability, but I didn’t understand the feelings of people without ability.
However, he just being kind and worried about me.
“Future huh. What do I want to be? Or rather, what will I be?”
I tried a different way of answering than usual.
Then, Tsurugi drank the water in the cup in his hand and said,
“Kazato, do you still remember your childhood dreams?”
When I was a child. The heck is he talking about.
It was around the first year of elementary school that I met Tsurugi.
Around that time?
“Hmm.”
I usually remember it, but I can’t really remember it now.
What was it? I was quite a little rascal then, right.
Was it Dr. Mushi?
I think there were various things, but…
“What was it? I don’t remember.”
“I see.”
Tsurugi said plainly.
I am curious to have received such response.
“What was my dream as a kid?”
“You’re lying, right. You’ve always said you’d like to join the Self Defense Force since you were in kindergarten.”
Rin leaned forward and said.
“Ah. Now that you mention it, I said something like that.
Although it became an absurd story now.
“It’s not absurd at all…!”
At Tsurugi’s slightly strong words, I unintentionally fell into silence.
Silence spreads again.
“Kazato, to be honest, it is hard for someone without ability to enter the Self Defense Force.”
Tsurugi said.
“What are you saying?”
I can’t see where the talks is going.
What’s wrong with these guys?
“…The Self Defense Force has a department that studies the ability development of people without ability.”
“Yup.”
It seems that such research is being done even by Anonymous.
It is not strange for the Self Defense Force to do it.
“The study is in the process of experimenting with the human body and is now recruiting inability subjects.
…If you succeed, you may be able to develop your ability.
You can also make money.”
“…”
“If Kazato wants…, if you haven’t forgotten your dream…”
Tsurugi stopped his words there.
Looking into my eyes with a terrifying appearance.
Somehow I was standing up.
So that’s it.
The reason they revealed their identity to me is to make this proposal.
Do you want me to be a ability user?
Why?
…as expected, it’s sympathy.
The handicap of people without ability.
This is also that, but a person without without ability is close to handicapped person.
Why should I be angry?
There’s nothing to get angry about after all.
I am an ability user.
Sympathy for such me is meaningless.
Actually, I have an ability y’know, so I should be able to laugh in my heart, right?
No, I can’t laugh.
Since this ability wasn’t really necessary.
I didn’t need it.
If so, it seems I hate “ability”, huh.
I remember longing for ability all this time.
But I gave up.
“Kazato, if you have ability一”
I cut off the words that Tsurugi wanted to say.
“Ability, ability…is ability really that important?
Tsurugi, you told me someday that even if we don’t have ability, let’s do our best.
What was that…”
“…!”
I didn’t want to say it.
Since they thought about me, I didn’t want to say things that can’t be said to Tsurugi and co.
But I ended up saying it.
“I don’t need ability. I’m fine just as is.
I don’t even want to join the Self Defense Force.”
Saying that, I put the money on the desk and left the shop.
I quickly walked away from the shop.
“Shit.”
I’m the worst.
Although I actually understand their feelings.
I shelved things about being a murderer myself, I’m really a trash, huh.
In addition, this is likely to affect the long-term mission with Roll.
I’ve done it…
“Kazato!”
When I was called and turned around, there was Rin there.
She’s chasing me, huh.
I stop and look at Rin.
Rin’s breathing was ragged.
“Sorry. I knew we might hurt Kazato.
But we didn’t mean that…”
“I know.”
Even without being told that.
For a while, we were silent.
I also wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t put it into words because I didn’t know what this anger was.
When I looked down, Rin said.
“…Hey, why don’t we take a little walk?”
