[The Darkness of the Resolution]
Tameiki-san really went back, so I was left behind in the city.
I head towards the direction Yoiyami-san left while walking unsteadily. In other words, his apartment.
I was complaining to Tameiki-san, but to tell the truth, I’m curious about Yoiyami-san.
What kind of life does Yoiyami-san have now, what does he think, and what does he live on?
I wanted to know more about his circumstances in detail.
Yoiyami-san used to devote his best killing people as Anonymous, but now he’s left in a state where he can’t kill people.
I feel a sense of intimacy with such Yoiyami-san.
But why do I feel intimacy?
We have nothing similar.
Nothing. Yes, nothing.
However. I want Yoiyami-san, who continue to live even with such tired looking eyes, to teach me how to live.
Roll, Tameiki-san, Shimichi-san, Boss.
They probably don’t understand what kind person I am.
At the same time, I may not be trying to understand them. It doesn’t mean that I don’t trust them all.
I hate…my own ugliness, but I’m trapped in a dilemma that I can’t live without, so I…
I felt that if it was Yoiyami-san, he would definitely understand me.
ーーー
“Please train me, Yoiyami-san.”
I said to Yoiyami-san who was repairing his broken apartment door.
Yoiyami-san didn’t answer.
He quickly fixed the door and entered the room, so in the end, I couldn’t do anything in that day.
Morning greets the corridor of the apartment.
It was cold last night because of the wall destroyed by Tameiki-san. Crouching and holding my knees, I didn’t get a good sleep.
My belongings were only the few small coins in my pocket.
I didn’t bring any clothes for change too, so it would be bad if this situation continues. I didn’t have my phone with me.
However, the phone wasn’t taken by Tameiki-san, I left it to Roll in advance.
Because I took the possibility of being abducted in the same pattern as before into consideration, it is a countermeasure.
I noticed the sound in the room and stood up.
Apparently, Yoiyami-san has woken up.
Yoiyami-san went straight to the front door, opened the door with a *gachari*, ignored me and headed for the stairs.
“Err, Yoiyami-san!”
“Don’t follow me.”
Yoiyami-san said without stopping. *biri* the air solidified.
I couldn’t move at the certain killing intent.
However, I felt that Yoiyami-san’s killing intent was not that much.
Yoiyami-san’s killing intent, which I could only alleviate by drinking alcohol before, is now only effective enough to restrain me.
It hasn’t been so long since that time, but perhaps Yoiyami-san is shedding away his techniques, faculties, and instincts for killing people.
Including himself.
It’s possible that Boss found something in such Yoiyami-san, and made the mission of that time available until now.
Or rather, Boss knew from the beginning that Yoiyami-san was like this, and that’s why he issued that mission.
It seems that Tameiki-san was told by Boss that she had surpassed Yoiyami-san, and I think that’s true.
In killing people, Tameiki-san has already surpassed Yoiyami-san.
It’s not about fighting ability.
It’s about things such as, can she kill on a daily basis? Can she kill people like breathing? Can she integrate with killing?
Tameiki-san who has been immersed in this world since she was 6 years old.
She should already in a state in which she can’t ‘separate’ like Yoiyami-san.
Anyway, I was seeing off Yoiyami-san’s back while thinking about various things in front of the room.
Yoiyami-san returned to the apartment when the surroundings began to darken.
I noticed his footsteps and stood up.
Yoiyami-san naturally ignored me, entered the room, closed the door and locked it.
I already realized that it was useless to say anything, so I just stood silently in front of his room.
Because I don’t know how long this will continue, I can’t make pointless expenditure. That’s why I still have the few small coins in my pocket.
That said, I won’t use it till I really reach my limit.
I’m confident that Yoiyami-san will help me if I drive myself to the point of starvation and freezing without eating or drinking anything.
After all, he can’t kill people.
When I heard the sound of Yoiyami-san lying down on the bed, I sat down.
Even so, it seems that there are no residents here other than Yoiyami-san.
But from today’s Yoiyami-san, I can tell that he only uses this place to go back and sleep, and you must be doing something else during the day.
Even so, I’m hungry. I feel a pain as if my stomach was tightened.
The morning has arrived.
I couldn’t sleep because of the cold and hunger. My saliva doesn’t even come out. My chin doesn’t stop clattering.
But I managed to get up when I sensed that Yoiyami-san woke up.
*guchari* the door opens.
It’s raining today. I used to like rain, but I’m starting to hate it because it made it hard to hear sounds.
The same as yesterday, Yoiyami-san passed me and went down the stairs.
Seeing him completely away from the apartment, I sat down again.
I can’t sleep because it’s cold at night, so I have no choice but to sleep during the day when the cold is still bearable.
Thinking so, I closed my eyes.
However, I could only sleep for a little while.
Yoiyami-san came back earlier than yesterday. I stand up at the sound of climbing the stairs.
Tameiki-san said Yoiyami-san would bend quickly, but he shows no sign of bending.
While I was thinking so, Yoiyami-san stopped in the middle of the corridor.
“…Do you intend to die like that?”
“…No.”
“Why do you want to be stronger?”
“To not die. Just to survive.”
I was surprised at myself who asserted that so clearly.
Is the reason I was able to make such a statement was because Yoiyami-san was the other party?
“…I see. Then there is one action you should take.”
“…What is that?”
“Leave Anonymous, hide in a distant place, and live alone.
That way, the probability of you dying is much lower than in your current situation.”
Now that I think about it, that’s true.
Just survive. If that’s all, it’s better to do so in the first place.
But why am I in this situation?
If I’m in Anonymous, I will fight the Self-Defense Force, and no matter how strong I become, inevitable death would come.
Like that Midou Ryuusui.
He died prematurely because he became too strong.
Putting myself in battle is like whittling my own life. That is also another contradiction in me.
No, I know. I am…
“I…, miss everyday life. It’s fun to interact with people.
I’m just thinking about how to live without letting go of them.
That’s why I want to get stronger…, and I want to live while clinging to it…”
“That’s the reason of your weakness.”
The answer was immediate, then I dropped on my knees with a jerk. I look away from Yoiyami-san and stare at the ground.
It felt like I was powerfully hit in the pit of my stomach. I was so struck to the core.
It was me who broke…?
“Do you have money to return?”
Asked by Mr. Yoyami, I shook my head.
Then, Yoiyami-san thrust his hand into his pocket and dropped some crumpled bills in front of me.
And Yoiyami-san passed me and entered the room.
The next morning.
I was sitting in front of Yaoyami-san’s door, holding my knees.
My sight is blurred. I have a stomachache. I’m thirsty. I can’t even clench my hands.
However, sensing that Yoiyami-san has woken up, I stand up.
The room’s door opened a little, and Yoiyami-san’s face peeked a bit from there.
And Yoiyami-san said.
“Get in.”
[The Darkness of the Resolution]
Tameiki-san really went back, so I was left behind in the city.
I head towards the direction Yoiyami-san left while walking unsteadily. In other words, his apartment.
I was complaining to Tameiki-san, but to tell the truth, I’m curious about Yoiyami-san.
What kind of life does Yoiyami-san have now, what does he think, and what does he live on?
I wanted to know more about his circumstances in detail.
Yoiyami-san used to devote his best killing people as Anonymous, but now he’s left in a state where he can’t kill people.
I feel a sense of intimacy with such Yoiyami-san.
But why do I feel intimacy?
We have nothing similar.
Nothing. Yes, nothing.
However. I want Yoiyami-san, who continue to live even with such tired looking eyes, to teach me how to live.
Roll, Tameiki-san, Shimichi-san, Boss.
They probably don’t understand what kind person I am.
At the same time, I may not be trying to understand them. It doesn’t mean that I don’t trust them all.
I hate…my own ugliness, but I’m trapped in a dilemma that I can’t live without, so I…
I felt that if it was Yoiyami-san, he would definitely understand me.
ーーー
“Please train me, Yoiyami-san.”
I said to Yoiyami-san who was repairing his broken apartment door.
Yoiyami-san didn’t answer.
He quickly fixed the door and entered the room, so in the end, I couldn’t do anything in that day.
Morning greets the corridor of the apartment.
It was cold last night because of the wall destroyed by Tameiki-san. Crouching and holding my knees, I didn’t get a good sleep.
My belongings were only the few small coins in my pocket.
I didn’t bring any clothes for change too, so it would be bad if this situation continues. I didn’t have my phone with me.
However, the phone wasn’t taken by Tameiki-san, I left it to Roll in advance.
Because I took the possibility of being abducted in the same pattern as before into consideration, it is a countermeasure.
I noticed the sound in the room and stood up.
Apparently, Yoiyami-san has woken up.
Yoiyami-san went straight to the front door, opened the door with a *gachari*, ignored me and headed for the stairs.
“Err, Yoiyami-san!”
“Don’t follow me.”
Yoiyami-san said without stopping. *biri* the air solidified.
I couldn’t move at the certain killing intent.
However, I felt that Yoiyami-san’s killing intent was not that much.
Yoiyami-san’s killing intent, which I could only alleviate by drinking alcohol before, is now only effective enough to restrain me.
It hasn’t been so long since that time, but perhaps Yoiyami-san is shedding away his techniques, faculties, and instincts for killing people.
Including himself.
It’s possible that Boss found something in such Yoiyami-san, and made the mission of that time available until now.
Or rather, Boss knew from the beginning that Yoiyami-san was like this, and that’s why he issued that mission.
It seems that Tameiki-san was told by Boss that she had surpassed Yoiyami-san, and I think that’s true.
In killing people, Tameiki-san has already surpassed Yoiyami-san.
It’s not about fighting ability.
It’s about things such as, can she kill on a daily basis? Can she kill people like breathing? Can she integrate with killing?
Tameiki-san who has been immersed in this world since she was 6 years old.
She should already in a state in which she can’t ‘separate’ like Yoiyami-san.
Anyway, I was seeing off Yoiyami-san’s back while thinking about various things in front of the room.
Yoiyami-san returned to the apartment when the surroundings began to darken.
I noticed his footsteps and stood up.
Yoiyami-san naturally ignored me, entered the room, closed the door and locked it.
I already realized that it was useless to say anything, so I just stood silently in front of his room.
Because I don’t know how long this will continue, I can’t make pointless expenditure. That’s why I still have the few small coins in my pocket.
That said, I won’t use it till I really reach my limit.
I’m confident that Yoiyami-san will help me if I drive myself to the point of starvation and freezing without eating or drinking anything.
After all, he can’t kill people.
When I heard the sound of Yoiyami-san lying down on the bed, I sat down.
Even so, it seems that there are no residents here other than Yoiyami-san.
But from today’s Yoiyami-san, I can tell that he only uses this place to go back and sleep, and you must be doing something else during the day.
Even so, I’m hungry. I feel a pain as if my stomach was tightened.
The morning has arrived.
I couldn’t sleep because of the cold and hunger. My saliva doesn’t even come out. My chin doesn’t stop clattering.
But I managed to get up when I sensed that Yoiyami-san woke up.
*guchari* the door opens.
It’s raining today. I used to like rain, but I’m starting to hate it because it made it hard to hear sounds.
The same as yesterday, Yoiyami-san passed me and went down the stairs.
Seeing him completely away from the apartment, I sat down again.
I can’t sleep because it’s cold at night, so I have no choice but to sleep during the day when the cold is still bearable.
Thinking so, I closed my eyes.
However, I could only sleep for a little while.
Yoiyami-san came back earlier than yesterday. I stand up at the sound of climbing the stairs.
Tameiki-san said Yoiyami-san would bend quickly, but he shows no sign of bending.
While I was thinking so, Yoiyami-san stopped in the middle of the corridor.
“…Do you intend to die like that?”
“…No.”
“Why do you want to be stronger?”
“To not die. Just to survive.”
I was surprised at myself who asserted that so clearly.
Is the reason I was able to make such a statement was because Yoiyami-san was the other party?
“…I see. Then there is one action you should take.”
“…What is that?”
“Leave Anonymous, hide in a distant place, and live alone.
That way, the probability of you dying is much lower than in your current situation.”
Now that I think about it, that’s true.
Just survive. If that’s all, it’s better to do so in the first place.
But why am I in this situation?
If I’m in Anonymous, I will fight the Self-Defense Force, and no matter how strong I become, inevitable death would come.
Like that Midou Ryuusui.
He died prematurely because he became too strong.
Putting myself in battle is like whittling my own life. That is also another contradiction in me.
No, I know. I am…
“I…, miss everyday life. It’s fun to interact with people.
I’m just thinking about how to live without letting go of them.
That’s why I want to get stronger…, and I want to live while clinging to it…”
“That’s the reason of your weakness.”
The answer was immediate, then I dropped on my knees with a jerk. I look away from Yoiyami-san and stare at the ground.
It felt like I was powerfully hit in the pit of my stomach. I was so struck to the core.
It was me who broke…?
“Do you have money to return?”
Asked by Mr. Yoyami, I shook my head.
Then, Yoiyami-san thrust his hand into his pocket and dropped some crumpled bills in front of me.
And Yoiyami-san passed me and entered the room.
The next morning.
I was sitting in front of Yaoyami-san’s door, holding my knees.
My sight is blurred. I have a stomachache. I’m thirsty. I can’t even clench my hands.
However, sensing that Yoiyami-san has woken up, I stand up.
The room’s door opened a little, and Yoiyami-san’s face peeked a bit from there.
And Yoiyami-san said.
“Get in.”
