Though Valia was not a talkative person, she was not the type to hide what she had to say either. She often talked about internal matters of the manor and about the guests visiting Garth. Looking back on that, Schuden suddenly stopped thinking.
Has she ever told me anything personal?
“Greetings to Lord Garth.”
“Everyone, get out.”
Schuden spoke in a low voice. The maids who were in the middle of nursing Valia had sensed an unusual atmosphere and hurried outside. On the bed, there was a feather blanket that was heavier than usual. Valia blinked slowly on that spacious bed.
“…Huh?”
Her voice was hoarse, unlike usual. Schuden sat down at Valia’s bedside. The wet towels that the maids put on her forehead had already gotten lukewarm. Schuden replaced it with a cold wet towel that was prepared on the side table. He could still feel the heat whenever his fingertips touched her skin.
“When did you come back…? Is it okay for you to come back?”
The first thing his wife asked him about was the state of public affairs. Even now, Schuden felt strange about this. He wanted to ask Valia how his work could become a priority when his wife was so sick right now. But he just held his tongue.
“…Your temperature is high.”
“The doctor said that it’s a flu, the one that’s going around in the capital. It’s nothing bad”
After saying that, Valia smiled. She did not look like she was smiling because she looked haggardly.
The inside of Schuden’s neck got hot after hearing her weak voice. Strangely, he felt angry.
“Why…”
But he could not get angry at someone sick. Schuden swallowed his breath once.
“…didn’t you tell me?”
Why didn’t you say a word to me when you had informed the doctor and even gave orders to Sarah? Am I that unreliable a husband to you?
His emotionless voice was no different from usual, Valia understood Schuden’s words differently.
“I suddenly got a fever during the day. Last night- no, I was still fine even just this morning.”
“Are you really okay?”
“Yes, the doctor of the House of Garth is so skillful.”
Valia’s complexion was pale, and yet she still smiled. In the past, Schuden thought that the smile was just her being friendly.
But does she really mean it when she keeps smiling in any situation? Is it just a mask that she only shows to me?
Schuden glanced down at Valia.
Why doesn’t she say anything to me?
Valia gently frowned. Perhaps, because of the medicine, she thought Schuden’s red eyes were a little different from usual. She wondered why he looked at her with those eyes. A gaze as if his heart was broken…
“Schu…”
Her thoughts did not last long. Valia’s eyelids were heavy, she could not resist staying awake for long. Sooner or later, her silvery-gray eyes were overpowered by drowsiness. Her breathing got slower, and she slowly fell asleep.
Schuden sat still and looked at Valia.
A misty silence flowed.
Actually, he already knew. The reason why he ran out immediately after hearing that Valia was sick, and the reason why he was angry at her for not saying anything to him.
He was just afraid of losing her.
Schuden leaned his upper body slowly, caving in on her like a big old tree crumbling away. He rested his forehead on the back of Valia’s hands. The warmth of her tender hand slowly transferred to his cold skin.
Schuden thought that all the meaningful things he had were lost a long time ago. He continued this life full of sin in order to keep the promise he made with his dead brother and because of his remaining unresolved past. Other than that, he felt nothing. It was fine even if he lost it and it was fine even if he kept it. Anything else was just meaningless to him.
[Schu.]
Feeling like he could hear her voice, Schuden raised his body. Valia was still deeply asleep.
There was an evening sunset, ever so gentle. Its red sunlight fills the room.
He carefully caressed her pale cheek with his faintly scarred hand. When did it start?
An always smiling face, white skin, and silvery-gray eyes. Bluish-black hair and a height that barely reached his neck. Calm hand gestures. A warm body temperature that he could feel from holding on to her body. Even her smiling figure in the rainy garden–Everything was clear, it was as if it were engraved on his eyes.
[Someone like you doesn’t have a right to love anyone.]
There was a voice that suddenly passed by. He knew what Leo meant by that. Schuden’s neck was intertwined with numerous deaths, and his only surviving brother hated him. What Leo poured out of his mouth was just a ritual curse. As for the reason why he could not answer those words as calmly as he usually did… Schuden suddenly found out.
For a moment, Schuden was out of breath. He got up from his seat, he felt like someone was squeezing his heart in order for him to no longer stay with her.
Before leaving, Schuden put Valia’s arms under the blanket. He was meticulous in his movements, but before he knew it, all the things that could be called emotions had been erased. His cold gaze was in contact with a certain wound.
“Your Grace?”
“I’m going back to the Imperial Palace. Take care of the lady.”
Schuden came down alone, his face was supremely cold. He had those eyes before marrying Valia– when he had just returned from the war. It was the first time Paul saw him like that since he got married, all he could do was bow with a puzzled face.
Schuden climbed up his horse. It took a lot of time to return to the Imperial Palace. Because he left his seat and returned home, he would have to review the documents until late at night. Of course, he also needed to attend the noble meeting. The Emperor would urge him to, and if he were to deal with military matters in the early morning…
Schuden was about to depart for the Imperial Palace, however, he looked back as if he were drawn by an irresistible force.
The manor was huge yet meaningless. Nothing had changed except for there being an additional person living inside. Knowing that, why did he have to come back here?
No, he already knew the answer. Maybe he had known about it for a long time. Schuden let out a sigh. When did it start?
When it was on those rainy days? Or even before that?
His body was drenched with the feeling, but his realization was so very slow.
He was in love with her.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
As the doctor guaranteed, Valia improved rapidly from a few days later. It was still impossible to get out of bed, but just being able to raise her body up was completely different from the fever she had in the past. Valia asked while taking a bite of the porridge fed by the maid.
“Has His Grace already gone back to the Imperial Palace?”
“Yes, Madam. He did not stay long, perhaps he is busy with his work .”
“Did he say nothing?”
“He asked us to take good care of you. I heard it from the general butler.”
“Is that so?”
Paul was the only one who saw Schuden’s cold face. However, Paul did not tell of the strange chill to Valia, she would only worry if he did so. And thanks to that, Valia was able to focus only on the treatment without any discomfort. However, there was something that bothered her a little.
‘I don’t think his expression was good.’
It was Schuden’s last gaze; his red eyes were sinking heavier than usual. Valia could not easily guess why he looked at her with such a face. In addition, she also had some regrets.
‘I shouldn’t have fallen asleep and greeted him.’
Schuden would go to war in a few days. Since it was a large-scale war, the ceremony was naturally scheduled to be held at the Imperial Palace as per the protocol. Valia could not go to the Imperial Palace in her current condition. If she was a little better, she would have followed even if she needed to ride a horse to say goodbye. But alas, she could not do so, and it had made her very sad.
‘I hope he doesn’t get hurt.’
Valia thought so while burying herself in her blanket.
Take care of yourself. Don’t get hurt. I will be taking good care of the manor, so don’t worry about anything.
The greetings that could not be delivered to her loved one were lingering in her mouth. Her silvery-gray eyes stared into empty space with a gloomy light.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
In the Imperial Palace, numerous nobles were constantly going in and out of the Emperor’s office. The Emperor was reading documents after receiving various reports and could only take a breather after evening tea time. After drinking the tea that the royal attendant poured, the Emperor opened his mouth.
“Marquess Joan.”
“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.”
The noble who joined the Emperor’s tea time was Marquess Joan. He initially only came to make his report, but due to the overlapping timing, he sat down with the Emperor despite not being a scheduled guest. The Emperor asked.
“Did Marquess Garth get some rest?”
“I’m much obliged to tell you that he had reviewed and processed more documents than I had in the last three days.”
“Huh, more than you?”
“I think he has handled three times more than I have.”
Marquess Joan was a noble that was distant from the sword or any other weapon. Initially, his family itself was on the side of civil service, so Marquess Joan was also faithfully playing a role as a civil servant and tactician. He did not participate in the war with a sword, but he did assist with a lot of other works.
However, Marquess Garth brought much more reports than Marquess Joan in the past few days. Even though the Emperor checked the reports regularly in the morning, afternoon, and evening, another document was sent at night. After waking up, another document arrived during the dawn. The Emperor was filled with amazement at the maddish work processing. But at the same time, he also had a question in mind.
“Are there too many things allocated to Marquess Garth?”
“No. He has already taken care of everything as the commander-in-chief.”
“Then is he taking care of other people’s work?”
“That’s right, Your Imperial Majesty. He even took the largest amount of work to do at the private meeting earlier.”
Schuden really worked nonstop. Without a doubt, he had the physical strength of a monster. All the nobles who worked with him were worn out, but he was still fine even after staying up a few nights. The Emperor would not be the only one who wanted to tear open Schuden’s body.
“No matter how good his physical strength is, isn’t there still a limit to his body?”
“I thought so too and recommended that he take a rest, but he won’t listen to me at all.”
“Does he know that tomorrow is the start of the war?”
“I saw him instructing his aide to bring all the armor earlier. I think he knows it based on that, but…”
“He did not personally go back?”
“Yes. I think so.”
The Emperor tilted his head.
“Marquess Joan, is Marchioness Garth able to attend the ceremony tomorrow?”
“It’s been less than a week since she caught the flu so it’s going to be difficult.”
“But then again, she does have a tender appearance. She won’t be able to get up easily.”
The Emperor already knew that Valia had the flu. He also knew that Schuden ran out of the meeting room right away upon hearing the news. After hearing the report, the Emperor withdrew the order to cut down on the rumors report.
What else could love be if not that? It seemed like yesterday that he was so happy that his eyes had not turned completely old yet.
“Everything is weird.”
Though Valia was not a talkative person, she was not the type to hide what she had to say either. She often talked about internal matters of the manor and about the guests visiting Garth. Looking back on that, Schuden suddenly stopped thinking.
Has she ever told me anything personal?
“Greetings to Lord Garth.”
“Everyone, get out.”
Schuden spoke in a low voice. The maids who were in the middle of nursing Valia had sensed an unusual atmosphere and hurried outside. On the bed, there was a feather blanket that was heavier than usual. Valia blinked slowly on that spacious bed.
“…Huh?”
Her voice was hoarse, unlike usual. Schuden sat down at Valia’s bedside. The wet towels that the maids put on her forehead had already gotten lukewarm. Schuden replaced it with a cold wet towel that was prepared on the side table. He could still feel the heat whenever his fingertips touched her skin.
“When did you come back…? Is it okay for you to come back?”
The first thing his wife asked him about was the state of public affairs. Even now, Schuden felt strange about this. He wanted to ask Valia how his work could become a priority when his wife was so sick right now. But he just held his tongue.
“…Your temperature is high.”
“The doctor said that it’s a flu, the one that’s going around in the capital. It’s nothing bad”
After saying that, Valia smiled. She did not look like she was smiling because she looked haggardly.
The inside of Schuden’s neck got hot after hearing her weak voice. Strangely, he felt angry.
“Why…”
But he could not get angry at someone sick. Schuden swallowed his breath once.
“…didn’t you tell me?”
Why didn’t you say a word to me when you had informed the doctor and even gave orders to Sarah? Am I that unreliable a husband to you?
His emotionless voice was no different from usual, Valia understood Schuden’s words differently.
“I suddenly got a fever during the day. Last night- no, I was still fine even just this morning.”
“Are you really okay?”
“Yes, the doctor of the House of Garth is so skillful.”
Valia’s complexion was pale, and yet she still smiled. In the past, Schuden thought that the smile was just her being friendly.
But does she really mean it when she keeps smiling in any situation? Is it just a mask that she only shows to me?
Schuden glanced down at Valia.
Why doesn’t she say anything to me?
Valia gently frowned. Perhaps, because of the medicine, she thought Schuden’s red eyes were a little different from usual. She wondered why he looked at her with those eyes. A gaze as if his heart was broken…
“Schu…”
Her thoughts did not last long. Valia’s eyelids were heavy, she could not resist staying awake for long. Sooner or later, her silvery-gray eyes were overpowered by drowsiness. Her breathing got slower, and she slowly fell asleep.
Schuden sat still and looked at Valia.
A misty silence flowed.
Actually, he already knew. The reason why he ran out immediately after hearing that Valia was sick, and the reason why he was angry at her for not saying anything to him.
He was just afraid of losing her.
Schuden leaned his upper body slowly, caving in on her like a big old tree crumbling away. He rested his forehead on the back of Valia’s hands. The warmth of her tender hand slowly transferred to his cold skin.
Schuden thought that all the meaningful things he had were lost a long time ago. He continued this life full of sin in order to keep the promise he made with his dead brother and because of his remaining unresolved past. Other than that, he felt nothing. It was fine even if he lost it and it was fine even if he kept it. Anything else was just meaningless to him.
[Schu.]
Feeling like he could hear her voice, Schuden raised his body. Valia was still deeply asleep.
There was an evening sunset, ever so gentle. Its red sunlight fills the room.
He carefully caressed her pale cheek with his faintly scarred hand. When did it start?
An always smiling face, white skin, and silvery-gray eyes. Bluish-black hair and a height that barely reached his neck. Calm hand gestures. A warm body temperature that he could feel from holding on to her body. Even her smiling figure in the rainy garden–Everything was clear, it was as if it were engraved on his eyes.
[Someone like you doesn’t have a right to love anyone.]
There was a voice that suddenly passed by. He knew what Leo meant by that. Schuden’s neck was intertwined with numerous deaths, and his only surviving brother hated him. What Leo poured out of his mouth was just a ritual curse. As for the reason why he could not answer those words as calmly as he usually did… Schuden suddenly found out.
For a moment, Schuden was out of breath. He got up from his seat, he felt like someone was squeezing his heart in order for him to no longer stay with her.
Before leaving, Schuden put Valia’s arms under the blanket. He was meticulous in his movements, but before he knew it, all the things that could be called emotions had been erased. His cold gaze was in contact with a certain wound.
“Your Grace?”
“I’m going back to the Imperial Palace. Take care of the lady.”
Schuden came down alone, his face was supremely cold. He had those eyes before marrying Valia– when he had just returned from the war. It was the first time Paul saw him like that since he got married, all he could do was bow with a puzzled face.
Schuden climbed up his horse. It took a lot of time to return to the Imperial Palace. Because he left his seat and returned home, he would have to review the documents until late at night. Of course, he also needed to attend the noble meeting. The Emperor would urge him to, and if he were to deal with military matters in the early morning…
Schuden was about to depart for the Imperial Palace, however, he looked back as if he were drawn by an irresistible force.
The manor was huge yet meaningless. Nothing had changed except for there being an additional person living inside. Knowing that, why did he have to come back here?
No, he already knew the answer. Maybe he had known about it for a long time. Schuden let out a sigh. When did it start?
When it was on those rainy days? Or even before that?
His body was drenched with the feeling, but his realization was so very slow.
He was in love with her.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
As the doctor guaranteed, Valia improved rapidly from a few days later. It was still impossible to get out of bed, but just being able to raise her body up was completely different from the fever she had in the past. Valia asked while taking a bite of the porridge fed by the maid.
“Has His Grace already gone back to the Imperial Palace?”
“Yes, Madam. He did not stay long, perhaps he is busy with his work .”
“Did he say nothing?”
“He asked us to take good care of you. I heard it from the general butler.”
“Is that so?”
Paul was the only one who saw Schuden’s cold face. However, Paul did not tell of the strange chill to Valia, she would only worry if he did so. And thanks to that, Valia was able to focus only on the treatment without any discomfort. However, there was something that bothered her a little.
‘I don’t think his expression was good.’
It was Schuden’s last gaze; his red eyes were sinking heavier than usual. Valia could not easily guess why he looked at her with such a face. In addition, she also had some regrets.
‘I shouldn’t have fallen asleep and greeted him.’
Schuden would go to war in a few days. Since it was a large-scale war, the ceremony was naturally scheduled to be held at the Imperial Palace as per the protocol. Valia could not go to the Imperial Palace in her current condition. If she was a little better, she would have followed even if she needed to ride a horse to say goodbye. But alas, she could not do so, and it had made her very sad.
‘I hope he doesn’t get hurt.’
Valia thought so while burying herself in her blanket.
Take care of yourself. Don’t get hurt. I will be taking good care of the manor, so don’t worry about anything.
The greetings that could not be delivered to her loved one were lingering in her mouth. Her silvery-gray eyes stared into empty space with a gloomy light.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
In the Imperial Palace, numerous nobles were constantly going in and out of the Emperor’s office. The Emperor was reading documents after receiving various reports and could only take a breather after evening tea time. After drinking the tea that the royal attendant poured, the Emperor opened his mouth.
“Marquess Joan.”
“Yes, Your Imperial Majesty.”
The noble who joined the Emperor’s tea time was Marquess Joan. He initially only came to make his report, but due to the overlapping timing, he sat down with the Emperor despite not being a scheduled guest. The Emperor asked.
“Did Marquess Garth get some rest?”
“I’m much obliged to tell you that he had reviewed and processed more documents than I had in the last three days.”
“Huh, more than you?”
“I think he has handled three times more than I have.”
Marquess Joan was a noble that was distant from the sword or any other weapon. Initially, his family itself was on the side of civil service, so Marquess Joan was also faithfully playing a role as a civil servant and tactician. He did not participate in the war with a sword, but he did assist with a lot of other works.
However, Marquess Garth brought much more reports than Marquess Joan in the past few days. Even though the Emperor checked the reports regularly in the morning, afternoon, and evening, another document was sent at night. After waking up, another document arrived during the dawn. The Emperor was filled with amazement at the maddish work processing. But at the same time, he also had a question in mind.
“Are there too many things allocated to Marquess Garth?”
“No. He has already taken care of everything as the commander-in-chief.”
“Then is he taking care of other people’s work?”
“That’s right, Your Imperial Majesty. He even took the largest amount of work to do at the private meeting earlier.”
Schuden really worked nonstop. Without a doubt, he had the physical strength of a monster. All the nobles who worked with him were worn out, but he was still fine even after staying up a few nights. The Emperor would not be the only one who wanted to tear open Schuden’s body.
“No matter how good his physical strength is, isn’t there still a limit to his body?”
“I thought so too and recommended that he take a rest, but he won’t listen to me at all.”
“Does he know that tomorrow is the start of the war?”
“I saw him instructing his aide to bring all the armor earlier. I think he knows it based on that, but…”
“He did not personally go back?”
“Yes. I think so.”
The Emperor tilted his head.
“Marquess Joan, is Marchioness Garth able to attend the ceremony tomorrow?”
“It’s been less than a week since she caught the flu so it’s going to be difficult.”
“But then again, she does have a tender appearance. She won’t be able to get up easily.”
The Emperor already knew that Valia had the flu. He also knew that Schuden ran out of the meeting room right away upon hearing the news. After hearing the report, the Emperor withdrew the order to cut down on the rumors report.
What else could love be if not that? It seemed like yesterday that he was so happy that his eyes had not turned completely old yet.
“Everything is weird.”
