I stare at the sheet of paper that Vael gifted to me and watch closely as the numbers start forming over the surface. It’s not the same as a skillbook, but the magic in it isn’t that much different. A shard of a gemstone in the corner pulls at my æther as ink flows into place on the paper, drawing the shapes of simple numbers.
The numbers don’t have any labels, and I have to guess at their meaning.
-123
-70
-51
-155
-24
Vael said that it would be simple, but I didn’t realize that it’d be this bad. I can still figure it out since I already know that it’s meant for counting my vein growth.
123 is my common veins, which can be used for all magics, 70 is strengthening, 51 is healing, 155 is necromancy, and 24 is fire.
It doesn’t show any of the larger details like the skillbook does, but that’s not what I need at the moment. All I need to do is clean up my training schedule by comparing my vein growth rate from different training methods.
Body strengthening, healing, and necromancy need the most power at the moment. I don’t need to get any fancier with the healing magic, it already does all I need, I just need it to be powerful enough that I can do more of what I already do.
“This is… confusing,” Anna says, tapping her finger against the hardened steel filled with threads of enchantments. “They’re interwoven as if they’re threads. I need to study more to understand what each channel does, but it looks like it might be forming larger magics by unfolding multiple spells atop one another. The rest of it is all simple æther channels, expertly made, but this is something else.”
“So can we learn anything from it?”
“Yes,” Anna nods, blinking at me while setting aside the ancient armour. “I’ve already learned a few patterns and weaves that I never would have considered possible. Actually making these channels and then carving them into Titan without having them interfere with each other is something beyond my ability. Each æther channel requires enough width between them to avoid interference, especially assuming that they’ll be brought into combat…”
“So, that means?” I ask as she scrambles for some paper to sketch out what she’s describing. She goes on in detail, drawing out how the channels weave around each other, shaped to accept and funnel natural æther into a certain shape and then eventually unfold into magic. It’s the same thing that I’m trying to do with my necromancy, the same channels that I can find inside of Crow.
“How do we make them? The æther channels?” I ask, and Anna slowly comes to a stop.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t explain that part,” she shakes her head. “There are many ways to create an æther channel in something, but the primary means is through channelling that æther through the subject without forming it into magic. It’s very difficult and straining to shape æther flows, and even more so to hold them in place. It is a mentally exhausting process.”
“So how do they manage weaves this close together?” I ask, looking at the examples she’s drawn.
“Practice,” Anna laughs, staring down at the steel plate and running a hand over it. “Decades of practice, and I’m certain they have secret techniques to make it easier, but… I don’t know them.”
“But all I have to do is hold onto an æther flow without letting it turn into magic?” I ask.
“Yes,” Anna nods. “If you want to learn enchantments or any similar magic, then this is the primary thing you need to practice. It’s not regarded as its own magic in a skillbook, but that’s because it’s more a branch of any magic. You’ll find it in the same region as your swordplay. Enchanters tend to know a little of many different magics for this reason.”
“That makes sense, I guess,” I say, nodding to her and staring back down at the chunk of armour, and the tiny little pipes showing in the rust spots. “So does that mean I can make healing enchantments, or body-strengthening enchantments just by using that technique?”
“I suppose, and it would allow you to develop your veins while learning the technique,” Anna nods slowly, in agreement. “I don’t actually know the particulars of how to unfold it into magic, mine works differently, but if you want to try training I can walk you through it?”
“Thank you,” I say, staring down at my hands.
Closing my eyes, I look back on last night and the time that I spent with Rea. Her fear and pain which I tried to take away, and then, the faith she had in me. The way she was certain that we’d come together again one day.
I want to believe it, but I just can’t. Lying to myself just makes me feel worse.
But that doesn’t mean that I have to feel bad about it. I don’t want to feel pain when thinking back to last night, and considering how Lothar thinks of his family, I think I have an answer.
We’re family.
Even if we’re apart, she’s still family.
Even if she dies, she’s still family.
Everything turns to ash in the end, but it’s better to love someone and lose them than to never have met them at all. I don’t regret my feelings for Adeleya, even though it didn’t work out, and I don’t regret my feelings for Rea, even though we have to be apart.
The thought makes it easier to keep going. No, even more than that, it makes me want to fight hard to meet her again. We’re both going to live for centuries, so what’s a few years or even decades? And so what if she dies, I’ll just threaten the gods themselves until they get out of my way. I’ll just have to grow powerful enough that they take the threats seriously.
“I use this training exercise,” Anna says, handing me a thin arrow shaft broken at the end. She holds a loose stick in her own hand.
“You’ve got to keep the channels from breaking out the sides, and you have to fit as many channels into it as you can without having them cross each other,” she says. “Just focus, and work on it slowly.”
Slowly means I burn less æther, which is slower growth.
Unacceptable.
I can’t try that scholarly thing until we start our trip back to Snowspring, where I’ll have enough free time to stick to the one training schedule for a week straight. Maybe I can get Anna to help me with that, she’s pretty smart about these sorts of things, but that’s for afterwards.
Rather than using magic, I just cast my healing æther out into the air, while I feed necromancy æther into the stick. I don’t expect it to come alive, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Or even if it does come alive, what is it going to do? Sway in my hand?
Stifling a giggle at the thought of an undead stick, I carefully direct the flow of energy into the broken end of the broken arrow shaft. It doesn’t take long to feel the issue.
Controlling the flow feels like I’m trying to hold a snake by its tail and feed down a hole, while it’s trying to curl back and bite me. The flow doesn’t want to move in a straight line, it wants to swerve and flow back and forth and all over the place. Even when I press my focus on the task, it takes some effort to get it started.
After a few failed attempts, I nearly cheer when I get the first channel started. I focus, pushing on very carefully. Halfway down the shaft, it breaks out the side of it.
Grumbling a few of Lothar’s favourite swear words, I take it from the other end and try again.
As my veins start to burn and I feel myself getting close to blacking out, I change my magic to strengthening while I continue using my necromancy on the stick. This time I get three-quarters of the way through before it crashes through the other channel that I carved, breaking it.
I try again, but I barely get a finger-length down the shaft before it hits the other end.
“Here, I’ll take it,” Anna says, pulling it off me. “Wow, that’s… a good attempt.”
“How was yours?” I ask, and she hesitates, handing me a fresh stick.
“I’ve managed to get nine channels interwoven, before breaking it with the tenth,” she says. “It’s an extra challenge to work with yours so thanks.”
“Ah, wait, wait!” I say, pulling it back from her. “You can’t see what magic I used, can you?”
“I’m not familiar with the feel of it, no…” she raises a brow at my sudden reaction. “It’s nothing dangerous whatever you did to it. Unless you can form the spell folding mechanism at the end of the channel, it’s not going to do much but direct a little æther.”
“I… I think we should destroy them afterwards,” I say, staring down at the stick and slowly handing it back to her. I hope it doesn’t do anything strange.
“I usually do,” Anna nods, taking my worries seriously. “Is there something you’re worried about?”
“It’s nothing bad,” I say, sitting back down by the side of her bed as I get back to making the æther channels in the stick. “It’s just-”
“I know. It’s got to do with the… the…” Anna freezes, leaning down over the bed. “It’s him, the being in the æther. The god. He gave you something.”
“It’s a secret,” I say, gripping her hand, sweat dripping down my forehead as I glance towards Olive who has taken too much interest. “It’s a secret, and it would be bad if anyone knew about it, okay?”
“Yes, I understand,” Anna nods slowly, her expression blank for a moment before she can shake it off.
For some reason, my head hurts and flickering green flames seem to hover in the back of my mind. I don’t press the thought. I’ve seen what it does to Anna, and I don’t want to know about it. If some god wants to talk to me, then he can reach out to me, but I’m not going to make my brain melt trying to understand.
“We’ll burn this afterwards,” Anna agrees, setting the stick down. “Let’s keep practising. Titan deserves my best.”
And Crow deserves my best.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“We’re moving out,” Theo says, leaning forward and looking at each of us in turn. “The researchers need support at their local dig, and once we’ve helped them there, we’ll be moving directly back to Snowspring. We’ll be escorting a large group, through a busy thoroughfare, but it will be our entire company moving with us so we can have a more reliable watch schedule.”
“The Falchion company is moving tomorrow?” Lothar asks.
Theo nods.
“The leaders are considering moving their headquarters to Snowspring, at least on a temporary basis.
“It’s fair to assume that the vampires we battled suffered serious casualties from our last battle, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll stay as silent as they’ve been this far. It’s too likely that they’ll try the same thing in the duchies, so for the near future, everyone wants to keep a distance from the cities.
“Further, it’s likely that our enemies will strike out at us while we’re on the road. We’ll be defending a larger group that they can use to sow discord and create fear, it’s too good an opportunity for them to miss. It will be a long road home.
“Does anyone have questions?”
“Do we have enough food?” Nadia asks, shuffling her weapons around. “I’ve seen the flood of people leaving this city, I don’t think we’ll find anything for sale.”
“The company has plenty of emergency supplies, enough to see us to Snowspring. It’s more of an issue that we see our supplies defended because, you are right, there is going to be a shortage of supplies among the people leaving. Just to be clear, we are not going to be sharing food with beggars. The road home is going to be violent, desperate, and terrible, but we do not have the food to spare for anyone else.”
Adeleya winces, staring down at her own hands. Lothar reaches over to grab her arm and she calms down a little. Olive and her mother are here with us, looking more and more worried.
“How long will it take for us to assist the researchers?” Nadia asks.
“It shouldn’t take a week,” Theo says, confidently. “The rest of the guild is still preparing to leave, but we’ll be joining them after our tasks are done. Lothar’s family will be moving with them until we meet up on the road.”
“When are we leaving?” I ask.
“Tomorrow,” Theo says, setting his eyes on me. “We can have someone come with you if you need to do anything, or say goodbye to anyone.”
I shake my head, firmly, gripping my hands tight.
“I’m fine,” I say. “I’ve already said goodbye.”
I’ll be back one day. I’ll cross those mountains to the east and become a mercenary so powerful that everyone knows my name. By then, there’ll be nothing left to be afraid of.
“Rest up well. There’s a chance we’ll be ambushed when we leave the safety of the city’s walls. Don’t let your guard down, even for a moment.”
The others break away, focusing on their own tasks. Adeleya and Lothar run off on their own, and Nadia joins Anna and I in training.
We have warm stew for dinner, and it’s still just as wonderful as it’s always been. Olive and her mother have settled in much better than I thought they would, and they’ve taken to training themselves as well, but they’re not learning to fight.
“What are you doing?” I ask, sitting to the side and watching them work.
“Practicing our needlework,” Saya, Olive’s mom, says, waving her hands through the cloth. “I’m leaving behind everything that I’ve built up, but I still have this. We’re going to have to work twice as hard to rebuild half of what we’re leaving behind.”
“There wouldn’t be anyone to sell to anyway, mom,” Olive says, leaning against her mother’s side as her fingers work faster than should be possible, weaving the needle back and forth. “Everyone’s leaving.”
“I know darling,” Saya says. “It’s just difficult. I’ve lost everything I own, far too many times now. I wanted to fight this time.”
“Leave the fighting to others,” I say, smiling as I finally carve an æther channel from one end of the arrow shaft to the other.
“I’m just tired of giving in,” Saya says, shaking her head. “I’m tired of losing all the things that I love.”
Seeing her slump in place, I see the person that I’d become if I chose a peaceful life. I don’t want to be like her. I want to be someone capable of protecting people like her.
I want to be a hero to the people I love.
Gritting my teeth as the new æther channel breaks the side of the arrow, I start again. I’ll figure it out eventually.
I stare at the sheet of paper that Vael gifted to me and watch closely as the numbers start forming over the surface. It’s not the same as a skillbook, but the magic in it isn’t that much different. A shard of a gemstone in the corner pulls at my æther as ink flows into place on the paper, drawing the shapes of simple numbers.
The numbers don’t have any labels, and I have to guess at their meaning.
-123
-70
-51
-155
-24
Vael said that it would be simple, but I didn’t realize that it’d be this bad. I can still figure it out since I already know that it’s meant for counting my vein growth.
123 is my common veins, which can be used for all magics, 70 is strengthening, 51 is healing, 155 is necromancy, and 24 is fire.
It doesn’t show any of the larger details like the skillbook does, but that’s not what I need at the moment. All I need to do is clean up my training schedule by comparing my vein growth rate from different training methods.
Body strengthening, healing, and necromancy need the most power at the moment. I don’t need to get any fancier with the healing magic, it already does all I need, I just need it to be powerful enough that I can do more of what I already do.
“This is… confusing,” Anna says, tapping her finger against the hardened steel filled with threads of enchantments. “They’re interwoven as if they’re threads. I need to study more to understand what each channel does, but it looks like it might be forming larger magics by unfolding multiple spells atop one another. The rest of it is all simple æther channels, expertly made, but this is something else.”
“So can we learn anything from it?”
“Yes,” Anna nods, blinking at me while setting aside the ancient armour. “I’ve already learned a few patterns and weaves that I never would have considered possible. Actually making these channels and then carving them into Titan without having them interfere with each other is something beyond my ability. Each æther channel requires enough width between them to avoid interference, especially assuming that they’ll be brought into combat…”
“So, that means?” I ask as she scrambles for some paper to sketch out what she’s describing. She goes on in detail, drawing out how the channels weave around each other, shaped to accept and funnel natural æther into a certain shape and then eventually unfold into magic. It’s the same thing that I’m trying to do with my necromancy, the same channels that I can find inside of Crow.
“How do we make them? The æther channels?” I ask, and Anna slowly comes to a stop.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t explain that part,” she shakes her head. “There are many ways to create an æther channel in something, but the primary means is through channelling that æther through the subject without forming it into magic. It’s very difficult and straining to shape æther flows, and even more so to hold them in place. It is a mentally exhausting process.”
“So how do they manage weaves this close together?” I ask, looking at the examples she’s drawn.
“Practice,” Anna laughs, staring down at the steel plate and running a hand over it. “Decades of practice, and I’m certain they have secret techniques to make it easier, but… I don’t know them.”
“But all I have to do is hold onto an æther flow without letting it turn into magic?” I ask.
“Yes,” Anna nods. “If you want to learn enchantments or any similar magic, then this is the primary thing you need to practice. It’s not regarded as its own magic in a skillbook, but that’s because it’s more a branch of any magic. You’ll find it in the same region as your swordplay. Enchanters tend to know a little of many different magics for this reason.”
“That makes sense, I guess,” I say, nodding to her and staring back down at the chunk of armour, and the tiny little pipes showing in the rust spots. “So does that mean I can make healing enchantments, or body-strengthening enchantments just by using that technique?”
“I suppose, and it would allow you to develop your veins while learning the technique,” Anna nods slowly, in agreement. “I don’t actually know the particulars of how to unfold it into magic, mine works differently, but if you want to try training I can walk you through it?”
“Thank you,” I say, staring down at my hands.
Closing my eyes, I look back on last night and the time that I spent with Rea. Her fear and pain which I tried to take away, and then, the faith she had in me. The way she was certain that we’d come together again one day.
I want to believe it, but I just can’t. Lying to myself just makes me feel worse.
But that doesn’t mean that I have to feel bad about it. I don’t want to feel pain when thinking back to last night, and considering how Lothar thinks of his family, I think I have an answer.
We’re family.
Even if we’re apart, she’s still family.
Even if she dies, she’s still family.
Everything turns to ash in the end, but it’s better to love someone and lose them than to never have met them at all. I don’t regret my feelings for Adeleya, even though it didn’t work out, and I don’t regret my feelings for Rea, even though we have to be apart.
The thought makes it easier to keep going. No, even more than that, it makes me want to fight hard to meet her again. We’re both going to live for centuries, so what’s a few years or even decades? And so what if she dies, I’ll just threaten the gods themselves until they get out of my way. I’ll just have to grow powerful enough that they take the threats seriously.
“I use this training exercise,” Anna says, handing me a thin arrow shaft broken at the end. She holds a loose stick in her own hand.
“You’ve got to keep the channels from breaking out the sides, and you have to fit as many channels into it as you can without having them cross each other,” she says. “Just focus, and work on it slowly.”
Slowly means I burn less æther, which is slower growth.
Unacceptable.
I can’t try that scholarly thing until we start our trip back to Snowspring, where I’ll have enough free time to stick to the one training schedule for a week straight. Maybe I can get Anna to help me with that, she’s pretty smart about these sorts of things, but that’s for afterwards.
Rather than using magic, I just cast my healing æther out into the air, while I feed necromancy æther into the stick. I don’t expect it to come alive, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Or even if it does come alive, what is it going to do? Sway in my hand?
Stifling a giggle at the thought of an undead stick, I carefully direct the flow of energy into the broken end of the broken arrow shaft. It doesn’t take long to feel the issue.
Controlling the flow feels like I’m trying to hold a snake by its tail and feed down a hole, while it’s trying to curl back and bite me. The flow doesn’t want to move in a straight line, it wants to swerve and flow back and forth and all over the place. Even when I press my focus on the task, it takes some effort to get it started.
After a few failed attempts, I nearly cheer when I get the first channel started. I focus, pushing on very carefully. Halfway down the shaft, it breaks out the side of it.
Grumbling a few of Lothar’s favourite swear words, I take it from the other end and try again.
As my veins start to burn and I feel myself getting close to blacking out, I change my magic to strengthening while I continue using my necromancy on the stick. This time I get three-quarters of the way through before it crashes through the other channel that I carved, breaking it.
I try again, but I barely get a finger-length down the shaft before it hits the other end.
“Here, I’ll take it,” Anna says, pulling it off me. “Wow, that’s… a good attempt.”
“How was yours?” I ask, and she hesitates, handing me a fresh stick.
“I’ve managed to get nine channels interwoven, before breaking it with the tenth,” she says. “It’s an extra challenge to work with yours so thanks.”
“Ah, wait, wait!” I say, pulling it back from her. “You can’t see what magic I used, can you?”
“I’m not familiar with the feel of it, no…” she raises a brow at my sudden reaction. “It’s nothing dangerous whatever you did to it. Unless you can form the spell folding mechanism at the end of the channel, it’s not going to do much but direct a little æther.”
“I… I think we should destroy them afterwards,” I say, staring down at the stick and slowly handing it back to her. I hope it doesn’t do anything strange.
“I usually do,” Anna nods, taking my worries seriously. “Is there something you’re worried about?”
“It’s nothing bad,” I say, sitting back down by the side of her bed as I get back to making the æther channels in the stick. “It’s just-”
“I know. It’s got to do with the… the…” Anna freezes, leaning down over the bed. “It’s him, the being in the æther. The god. He gave you something.”
“It’s a secret,” I say, gripping her hand, sweat dripping down my forehead as I glance towards Olive who has taken too much interest. “It’s a secret, and it would be bad if anyone knew about it, okay?”
“Yes, I understand,” Anna nods slowly, her expression blank for a moment before she can shake it off.
For some reason, my head hurts and flickering green flames seem to hover in the back of my mind. I don’t press the thought. I’ve seen what it does to Anna, and I don’t want to know about it. If some god wants to talk to me, then he can reach out to me, but I’m not going to make my brain melt trying to understand.
“We’ll burn this afterwards,” Anna agrees, setting the stick down. “Let’s keep practising. Titan deserves my best.”
And Crow deserves my best.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“We’re moving out,” Theo says, leaning forward and looking at each of us in turn. “The researchers need support at their local dig, and once we’ve helped them there, we’ll be moving directly back to Snowspring. We’ll be escorting a large group, through a busy thoroughfare, but it will be our entire company moving with us so we can have a more reliable watch schedule.”
“The Falchion company is moving tomorrow?” Lothar asks.
Theo nods.
“The leaders are considering moving their headquarters to Snowspring, at least on a temporary basis.
“It’s fair to assume that the vampires we battled suffered serious casualties from our last battle, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll stay as silent as they’ve been this far. It’s too likely that they’ll try the same thing in the duchies, so for the near future, everyone wants to keep a distance from the cities.
“Further, it’s likely that our enemies will strike out at us while we’re on the road. We’ll be defending a larger group that they can use to sow discord and create fear, it’s too good an opportunity for them to miss. It will be a long road home.
“Does anyone have questions?”
“Do we have enough food?” Nadia asks, shuffling her weapons around. “I’ve seen the flood of people leaving this city, I don’t think we’ll find anything for sale.”
“The company has plenty of emergency supplies, enough to see us to Snowspring. It’s more of an issue that we see our supplies defended because, you are right, there is going to be a shortage of supplies among the people leaving. Just to be clear, we are not going to be sharing food with beggars. The road home is going to be violent, desperate, and terrible, but we do not have the food to spare for anyone else.”
Adeleya winces, staring down at her own hands. Lothar reaches over to grab her arm and she calms down a little. Olive and her mother are here with us, looking more and more worried.
“How long will it take for us to assist the researchers?” Nadia asks.
“It shouldn’t take a week,” Theo says, confidently. “The rest of the guild is still preparing to leave, but we’ll be joining them after our tasks are done. Lothar’s family will be moving with them until we meet up on the road.”
“When are we leaving?” I ask.
“Tomorrow,” Theo says, setting his eyes on me. “We can have someone come with you if you need to do anything, or say goodbye to anyone.”
I shake my head, firmly, gripping my hands tight.
“I’m fine,” I say. “I’ve already said goodbye.”
I’ll be back one day. I’ll cross those mountains to the east and become a mercenary so powerful that everyone knows my name. By then, there’ll be nothing left to be afraid of.
“Rest up well. There’s a chance we’ll be ambushed when we leave the safety of the city’s walls. Don’t let your guard down, even for a moment.”
The others break away, focusing on their own tasks. Adeleya and Lothar run off on their own, and Nadia joins Anna and I in training.
We have warm stew for dinner, and it’s still just as wonderful as it’s always been. Olive and her mother have settled in much better than I thought they would, and they’ve taken to training themselves as well, but they’re not learning to fight.
“What are you doing?” I ask, sitting to the side and watching them work.
“Practicing our needlework,” Saya, Olive’s mom, says, waving her hands through the cloth. “I’m leaving behind everything that I’ve built up, but I still have this. We’re going to have to work twice as hard to rebuild half of what we’re leaving behind.”
“There wouldn’t be anyone to sell to anyway, mom,” Olive says, leaning against her mother’s side as her fingers work faster than should be possible, weaving the needle back and forth. “Everyone’s leaving.”
“I know darling,” Saya says. “It’s just difficult. I’ve lost everything I own, far too many times now. I wanted to fight this time.”
“Leave the fighting to others,” I say, smiling as I finally carve an æther channel from one end of the arrow shaft to the other.
“I’m just tired of giving in,” Saya says, shaking her head. “I’m tired of losing all the things that I love.”
Seeing her slump in place, I see the person that I’d become if I chose a peaceful life. I don’t want to be like her. I want to be someone capable of protecting people like her.
I want to be a hero to the people I love.
Gritting my teeth as the new æther channel breaks the side of the arrow, I start again. I’ll figure it out eventually.
