“Oh my,” said Coppelia cheerily. “It's a frozen revenant.”
I looked at her in puzzlement. The name and the overwhelming malevolence of the figure being constructed before me suggested something terrifyingly strong. And yet Coppelia was reacting as though she'd spotted a new variety of lavender in the grass.
A frozen revenant!
My mind conjured images gleaned from some frightening children's tales. Of ghostly, gliding figures clad in black armour and wielding weapons forged of hatred. But I didn't know what a frozen revenant truly was, or more pertinently, how I should be reacting to one right now.
“I see … and I assume this is a problem, yes?”
“Yep! Frozen revenants are powerful. They're curses made manifest. It takes a looooong time. Unlike magic, curses get stronger over time. Even so, it's very rare for one to appear. It's actually replaced the original curse.”
I see. No doubt the trolls will be delighted to know the name of their foe. If nothing else, I intended to extort no small amount for that information. Identifying curses was a highly specialised service usually requiring a high rank cleric. I'd done it with a holy stick.
I intended to charge the established rate.
“How powerful are frozen revenants, exactly?”
“They're considered monsters that surpass even B-rank adventurers.”
I nodded.
That meant absolutely nothing to me.
“I have no frame of reference for how powerful that is. S-rank is strong and F-rank is weak. Where does B-rank fit into that?”
“I think it's rather disingenuous to refer to S-rank as merely strong. That level of proficiency in any weapon is a kingdom-ending—I mean, saving—entity. Even so, B-rank is still beyond the limit of most squishy humans. To hold a B-rank in say, a sword, would certify you as an official blademaster. Few reach that level. Most professional soldiers languish at E-rank, while bubbly-cheeked recruits begin at F-rank. A fancy knight with a shiny horse could be expected to be D-rank in the sword and lance, I suppose.”
“I see.”
I nodded, only half listening as I watched the magic whisking up the stream and carving out a new monster before me.
Coppelia stood up from the rock. She brushed down her skirt, then indicated towards the path we'd just followed.
“Sooo, want to go?” she asked, making it clear she didn't mind one way or the other. “We could make ourselves scarce while the frozen revenant is still forming. That'd mean running, though. These things move fast. Probably because they're so grumpy all the time. They're more curse than magic, after all.”
I held up my hand.
“I need that seashell.”
“I think that is the seashell,” said Coppelia, her eyes filled with curiosity as she studied the armoured cuffs forming on the frozen revenant.
I nodded. Even so, my resolve only hardened.
In the end, merely returning with the name of this monster was apostasy to me.
I was Juliette Contzen, the Third Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea. And I did not run. More importantly, I did not run while there were witnesses. My running form was highly embarrassing, and I had zero doubt that Coppelia would comment on it. Repeatedly.
I … I would rather die than let her see it!
“A vow once made is a vow unbroken until death. I cannot so easily discard my oaths as I would a pair of ruby slippers that are regrettably the wrong shade.”
“Eh? I didn't hear you make a vow, though?”
“V-Vows are strung from the heart, Coppelia. They need not be spoken into the wind. I cannot sully my name to the trolls awaiting my return with such eager expectations.”
“You didn't give them your name. You're just squishy human #370 to them.”
“It's … It's the principles that count!”
Yes.
Principles.
Just like how I refused to cower beneath my duvet while my kingdom fell prey to a mob of angry peasants wondering why I wasn't solving all their problems faster.
Well, here I was!
Yesterday it was bandits. Today it was frozen revenants. Tomorrow it will be dragons. But no matter what I faced in the course of my crusade to avoid poverty at all costs, I would do so with the dignity and courage expected of me as a princess.
… Especially if the foe before me could be cheaply swiped away! Ohohohohoho!
“Coppelia, I will defeat this frozen revenant.”
I smiled confidently.
A monster whose strength surpasses B-rank adventurers? That meant nothing to me. At least not while it was clearly highly vulnerable!
It was still forming in front of me. Why, it was less armour and more air right now! Clearly, whatever cursed magic formed this monster's body wasn't yet complete.
In other words ... I was going to stab it while it's still getting dressed!
I drew my sword from my sheath. The pure, unfiltered light swept over the icy stream, bouncing off the surface and highlighting the salmon that'd frozen underneath.
“Oh, really?” asked Coppelia, looking suitably excited for my bold stratagem. “You're going to fight the big cursed embodiment of frozen death?”
“Indeed, I am! Please wait and stand aside. This won't take long.”
“Already have,” came her cheerful voice, suddenly much further away. “Also, it's really not worth the hassle. Revenants don't leave behind their armour or anything when you defeat them. Did I mention it's a B-rank monster?”
“It's ranking in whatever guidebook you reference is irrelevant. What matters is the foe I see before me … and the one I see is weakened by years, perhaps centuries of languish!”
I pointed at the pitiful creature before me, its bleary eyes all too recognisable—for these were the same foggy eyes I spied upon my reflection each morning.
“Ohohoho! See how slowly the curse moves to enshroud the revenant with its hideous armour … I shall seize upon the advantage!”
“Mmh. Got it~”
I stepped towards the collecting ice while offering no apology. I was a princess, not a knight. I didn't do chivalry. I did practicality.
Farewell, Sir Frozen Revenant. The battlefield is a stark reality. Those who wish to triumph on the field of strife may instead find themselves ended by a dagger in their tent. Or an underhanded strike by a princess. Such is the way of the world.
Thus, I raised my sword. And with a deep breath, I stepped forward while aiming to pierce the cloud of icicles that were forming its torso.
“By the way,” said Coppelia, causing me to stumble as I went to lunge. “You can't actually hit it while it's forming.”
“E-Excuse me?!”
“Look.”
Coppelia threw a half-eaten cupcake. It passed straight through the frozen revenant, armour and torso both, as though the icicles were nothing but vapour.
I was stunned.
Had she been snacking on our provisions while walking behind me all this time? That was outrageous! I knew for a fact that she hadn't purchased everything with her own crowns! And more besides, this wasn't an appropriate time to be wasting food! Why, there wasn't a single bumbling servant to laugh at as they tripped over themselves cleaning up after her! What was the point?
“Coppelia! You cannot waste food like that! There's a time and a place!”
“My bad. Here, watch. I'll do it again.”
Coppelia leaned down and picked up the rock she'd sat on.
It must have weighed heavier than the sacks of flour our chefs carried while their tearful groans echoed merrily in our halls. Even so, this clockwork doll lifted it as though it were no more than a feather pillow.
“Hup,” she said, casually tossing the entire rock at the frozen revenant.
Wooooooooooooooooooooossssssshhhh.
Unlike with the cupcake, her throwing an entire rock drew a reaction.
Preferring sugar and eggs to solid lumps of stone, the frozen revenant whistled like a gale as the rock passed through it—slowly, this time—as though the curse was now fully forming.
Gauntlets. Greaves. Pauldrons and more. Rigid slabs of black plate dripping in icicles materialised at speed before me. And then came the outline of a weapon.
It could have been a staff, a spear, or even a long mace. The end of the weapon was shrouded in flaming ice. A brand of ice so sharp and cold that it seemed to somehow scorch the air around it, that gathering mist around its tip no different than steam.
“There you go,” said Coppelia, gesturing enthusiastically with both her hands as though showing off a new dress. “Physical attacks cannot harm a frozen revenant while its forming. Magic would be effective, but only advanced magic. Do you know any?”
“No.”
“Well, that's that, then. Want to start running?”
“Again, no.”
Even I could see that the monster was almost formed. To run would be to flee with all my might, arms windmilling as I shrieked like a peasant diving out of the way of our royal carriages as we trundled through towns and villages.
I shuddered as I imagined it. The shame would haunt me long after death.
But that death would not be today!
“Ohhohohoho!” I smiled grandly as I spotted a clear weakness. “You may retreat should you wish, my fair clockwork attendant, so that you may have a better view of my masterful ploy!”
“Eh?”
I nodded.
“If I cannot strike while it's forming, then I'll simply do so the moment it's materialised! Just like how I'm still groggy for several hours after waking up from a long nap, this monster will still be in a highly vulnerable state where it bumps into walls and mistakes the curtains for a dress!”
“No, wait, I don't think it works like that … and how long do you nap for, exactly?”
I raised my sword, stepping closer towards the mass of floating black steel and ice. I stared up at it. And more importantly, it stared back down with hungry, burning, yet still also very sleep deprived eyes.
Ohohohoho …
It had no idea what I was about to do to it!
Indeed, how could it, when it didn't even know what day of the week it was, and whether it was time for breakfast, lunch or dinner?
Just as the maids took advantage of my bleary state when they woke me from my slumber, I would ensure that this monster had neither time nor the ability to resist as I struck the first blow!
“Its bleak and tired eyes are uncovered! If I strike it between its visor the moment it forms, then Starlight Grace will do the rest! Neither darkness nor ice can survive my sword's burning righteousness!”
“You're going to stab it in the eyes?”
I nodded wholeheartedly. No matter how underhanded the blow, rest assured that I have no sense of honour whatsoever!
Low blows, eye gouges and headbutts! For the sake of my survival, I will do anything!
Coppelia blinked at me without expression, then covered her mouth with her hands.
In moments, tears began to form in the edge of her pearly eyes as she sought to desperately hold back the raw emotions of seeing my valour on full display. She twirled around, wiped her tears, then turned back to face me with her lips quivering in a brave half-smile.
“Heh … heheh—ahem, sorry, excuse me. So Juliette, that … ahaha—oops, sorry—that visor is a lot smaller than it seems. And the frozen revenant will be moving. And grumpy. Very grumpy. Did I mention grumpy? It'll require precision and speed to strike it in the eye. It's basically threading a needle while doing skipping exercises, you know?”
“Threading a needle … ?”
I approached the frozen revenant. Its black suit had fully encased its figure. And now the last of the swirling icicles had enveloped where its sabatons should be. Nothing formed there. Only cursed magic, ready to propel this monster towards me.
I held my sword aloft, smiling as I readied for the moment.
“Ohohoho … why, I happen to sew proficiently, Coppelia. So believe me when I say that what I must do is far harder than threading a needle. Indeed, a needle can be threaded as many times as required. No. This is worse. Far worse. It's a single chance, a single moment. A requirement to strike directly at the centre of the eye, where hesitation is the precursor to failure. There are no second chances.”
Threading a needle?
Why ... I had something far more appropriate.
Wooooooooooooooooooooossssssshhhh.
Another gust of wind threatened to sweep me off my feet.
I held my ground, teeth clenching as I witnessed the frozen revenant break from its invisible shackles. Its eyes flashed to life. As did mine.
The monster lunged, black weapon encased in frozen death sweeping down towards me.
But slowly … far too slowly!
As expected, I was right! Whether princess or cursed monster from the abyss, nothing in this world was immune to the effects of oversleeping!
As the frozen revenant's dire weapon fell towards me, every hardship I'd suffered guided my hand in a seamless response. Did this monster's cruel brand seek to frighten me? Poor creature. I'd survived blows that struck far crueller than this weapon ever could.
I'd survived judgement. I'd survived disappointment.
I'd survived the world of fine art.
“Return to the nightmare, foul monster! Calm as summer skies, I will still these ocean currents. Painting Form, 2nd Stance … [Pupil Dab]!”
Ohhohohoho! Here it was!
Culminating from years of untold stress, here was my ultimate, precision technique engineered for this moment!
It was a single dab to paint a pupil! That one blot of paint the finale to arduous months of work in my study! It was the difference between a magnum opus and a failed prototype!
A trial I'd endured on countless occasions. My failures repeating ad infinitum until I overcame my hesitation, my fears, my tutors. Thousands of art pieces in ruins, and yet hundreds now stood lining the corridors of the Royal Villa. Each and every one proof of overcoming the burden of unrelenting peer critique in the merciless world of abstract impressionism.
What was death by a frozen revenant, compared to death at the hands of high society?!
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!”
Swifter than the falling ice brand, I lunged forward as Starlight Grace burned with the luminosity of my noble character. The blade slid between the frozen revenant's visor, finding purchase in whatever dark abomination lay beneath its freshly wrought armour.
For a moment, nothing met my attack but the sound of the stream fighting against the encroaching ice.
And then it all shattered.
“—Hiiee?!”
I hurriedly stepped back, my hand tightly clasped around Starlight Grace as the frozen revenant broke apart before me. Its armour didn't merely fall off. It crumbled as though struck in a thousand different places.
And behind it, nothing remained.
The frozen revenant's form shattered, then disintegrated into dust as it fell. A single breeze swept away its remnants, as in mere moments, nothing marked where upon the muddy bank this poor creature had met its demise.
The same wind that had signalled its arrival also whispered its end. And once again, the sound of a running stream came over this mundane stretch of woodland.
The frozen revenant was defeated.
I turned around, smiling and not at all sweating in the slightest. That drop of moisture running down my face? Why, that was merely all that remained of my vanquished foe. It was the icy blood of my enemy, who had the misfortune of minding its own business while I poked it with a stick.
“H-How was that!” I said, sheathing Starlight Grace before placing my hands on my hips. “Did you see my masterful tactics at work?! The stunning footwork? The poise of an … an experienced fencer?”
“Ahahahahahahahaha!!”
I opened my mouth in indignation.
“Cease … Cease your laughing! Why does my resounding victory amuse you so?! I-I understand that my underhanded attack was no proud feat, but even so! I had prevented the inevitable scourge of a rampant frozen revenant! Why must you laugh?!”
Far from ceasing her impudent laughter, Coppelia languished against a tree, her hands failing to hold onto the bark as she slid like some gelatinous ooze down onto the ground.
All the while, the laughter echoed within this small clearing.
“Ahaha … haahhaha … pupil … ahaahha … pupil dab … haaha … hahahah … hahaah … ahaha … hah … ahah ...”
I pursed my lips, tapping my foot as I waited for the mockery to finish.
It was the same as when I'd dispersed the man eating fire breathing death beetles. Except this time, she had no branch to fall from. She was already on the ground, and could laugh largely unperturbed.
“Are you done?”
Coppelia looked up and nodded.
“Yes, I'm—ahahah … hahaah … ahhha …. haa ...”
I rolled my eyes and waited again.
“Okay, okay, I'm done.”
“Really.”
“Yes.”
Coppelia tightly pursed her lips. I could see them still quivering. I flicked my hair and turned to the original matter at hand.
The seashell.
“If you're done being amused at my triumph over comatose adversaries, I suggest you make yourself useful. I trust you have no qualms about picking this up now?”
Coppelia gave a smile as wide as the flowing stream.
“Mmh, none whatsoever~”
She hopped onto her feet, then quickly scooted over. She looked over where the frozen revenant shattered, as if searching for anything she could scavenge.
Despite her claim that revenants were not worth the effort of defeating, it couldn't be denied that on this occasion, it was as simple a task as foregoing all standards of fighting courtesy. If I didn't value my life higher than the expectations of my enemies, I'd be feeling more embarrassed at the result.
“Congratulations,” said Coppelia, narrowing her eyes as she went on to peer at the supremely mundane looking seashell. “Your first treasure. I'm sure those trolls will be lining up to swindle you for this.”
“E-Excuse me! Who exactly is doing the swindling here? I assure you that I'm far too judicious to be pressed into a poor negotiating position.”
Indeed, as I peered down at the seashell, now utterly devoid of any black smog, I knew that I held all the aces in my hand.
Whatever pearl was inside was not ours to take. It was, however, ours to sell.
And for all the mocking laughter I received for my efforts, I'd ensure that I had my due.
“Mmh, got it,” said Coppelia, bending down to pick up the seashell. “I look forward to seeing what stern expression you make as you show those highly discerning troll merchants what the meaning of a hard bargain is.”
“—I beg of you, don't!”
Coppelia blinked at me. I did the same to her.
That wasn't my voice. Nor was it hers.
In unison, we looked down at the seashell that Coppelia had just picked up.
The seashell which had now snapped open.
A pearl revealed itself. It was a radiant blue, swirling with a depth so deep that it could have reflected the bottom of the ocean. And it was also glowing.
“Brave heroines!” called out the pearl, lighting up as it spoke. “Good has prevailed this day! You have rescued me from the foul curse's imprisonment! The revenant which hounded my abode is now humbled, and I am free to bask in the joy of the free air once more! Oh, brave heroines, I would gift you a boon for this feat of valour! In the name of the sea and stars, I offer freely my wisdom, my strength and my knowledge, to aid you in this time of darkness as you have aided me!”
Coppelia quickly shut the shell. It wriggled slightly, unable to break free of her clasped hold.
“So, trolls?” she suggested.
I nodded.
“Trolls.”
“Oh my,” said Coppelia cheerily. “It's a frozen revenant.”
I looked at her in puzzlement. The name and the overwhelming malevolence of the figure being constructed before me suggested something terrifyingly strong. And yet Coppelia was reacting as though she'd spotted a new variety of lavender in the grass.
A frozen revenant!
My mind conjured images gleaned from some frightening children's tales. Of ghostly, gliding figures clad in black armour and wielding weapons forged of hatred. But I didn't know what a frozen revenant truly was, or more pertinently, how I should be reacting to one right now.
“I see … and I assume this is a problem, yes?”
“Yep! Frozen revenants are powerful. They're curses made manifest. It takes a looooong time. Unlike magic, curses get stronger over time. Even so, it's very rare for one to appear. It's actually replaced the original curse.”
I see. No doubt the trolls will be delighted to know the name of their foe. If nothing else, I intended to extort no small amount for that information. Identifying curses was a highly specialised service usually requiring a high rank cleric. I'd done it with a holy stick.
I intended to charge the established rate.
“How powerful are frozen revenants, exactly?”
“They're considered monsters that surpass even B-rank adventurers.”
I nodded.
That meant absolutely nothing to me.
“I have no frame of reference for how powerful that is. S-rank is strong and F-rank is weak. Where does B-rank fit into that?”
“I think it's rather disingenuous to refer to S-rank as merely strong. That level of proficiency in any weapon is a kingdom-ending—I mean, saving—entity. Even so, B-rank is still beyond the limit of most squishy humans. To hold a B-rank in say, a sword, would certify you as an official blademaster. Few reach that level. Most professional soldiers languish at E-rank, while bubbly-cheeked recruits begin at F-rank. A fancy knight with a shiny horse could be expected to be D-rank in the sword and lance, I suppose.”
“I see.”
I nodded, only half listening as I watched the magic whisking up the stream and carving out a new monster before me.
Coppelia stood up from the rock. She brushed down her skirt, then indicated towards the path we'd just followed.
“Sooo, want to go?” she asked, making it clear she didn't mind one way or the other. “We could make ourselves scarce while the frozen revenant is still forming. That'd mean running, though. These things move fast. Probably because they're so grumpy all the time. They're more curse than magic, after all.”
I held up my hand.
“I need that seashell.”
“I think that is the seashell,” said Coppelia, her eyes filled with curiosity as she studied the armoured cuffs forming on the frozen revenant.
I nodded. Even so, my resolve only hardened.
In the end, merely returning with the name of this monster was apostasy to me.
I was Juliette Contzen, the Third Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea. And I did not run. More importantly, I did not run while there were witnesses. My running form was highly embarrassing, and I had zero doubt that Coppelia would comment on it. Repeatedly.
I … I would rather die than let her see it!
“A vow once made is a vow unbroken until death. I cannot so easily discard my oaths as I would a pair of ruby slippers that are regrettably the wrong shade.”
“Eh? I didn't hear you make a vow, though?”
“V-Vows are strung from the heart, Coppelia. They need not be spoken into the wind. I cannot sully my name to the trolls awaiting my return with such eager expectations.”
“You didn't give them your name. You're just squishy human #370 to them.”
“It's … It's the principles that count!”
Yes.
Principles.
Just like how I refused to cower beneath my duvet while my kingdom fell prey to a mob of angry peasants wondering why I wasn't solving all their problems faster.
Well, here I was!
Yesterday it was bandits. Today it was frozen revenants. Tomorrow it will be dragons. But no matter what I faced in the course of my crusade to avoid poverty at all costs, I would do so with the dignity and courage expected of me as a princess.
… Especially if the foe before me could be cheaply swiped away! Ohohohohoho!
“Coppelia, I will defeat this frozen revenant.”
I smiled confidently.
A monster whose strength surpasses B-rank adventurers? That meant nothing to me. At least not while it was clearly highly vulnerable!
It was still forming in front of me. Why, it was less armour and more air right now! Clearly, whatever cursed magic formed this monster's body wasn't yet complete.
In other words ... I was going to stab it while it's still getting dressed!
I drew my sword from my sheath. The pure, unfiltered light swept over the icy stream, bouncing off the surface and highlighting the salmon that'd frozen underneath.
“Oh, really?” asked Coppelia, looking suitably excited for my bold stratagem. “You're going to fight the big cursed embodiment of frozen death?”
“Indeed, I am! Please wait and stand aside. This won't take long.”
“Already have,” came her cheerful voice, suddenly much further away. “Also, it's really not worth the hassle. Revenants don't leave behind their armour or anything when you defeat them. Did I mention it's a B-rank monster?”
“It's ranking in whatever guidebook you reference is irrelevant. What matters is the foe I see before me … and the one I see is weakened by years, perhaps centuries of languish!”
I pointed at the pitiful creature before me, its bleary eyes all too recognisable—for these were the same foggy eyes I spied upon my reflection each morning.
“Ohohoho! See how slowly the curse moves to enshroud the revenant with its hideous armour … I shall seize upon the advantage!”
“Mmh. Got it~”
I stepped towards the collecting ice while offering no apology. I was a princess, not a knight. I didn't do chivalry. I did practicality.
Farewell, Sir Frozen Revenant. The battlefield is a stark reality. Those who wish to triumph on the field of strife may instead find themselves ended by a dagger in their tent. Or an underhanded strike by a princess. Such is the way of the world.
Thus, I raised my sword. And with a deep breath, I stepped forward while aiming to pierce the cloud of icicles that were forming its torso.
“By the way,” said Coppelia, causing me to stumble as I went to lunge. “You can't actually hit it while it's forming.”
“E-Excuse me?!”
“Look.”
Coppelia threw a half-eaten cupcake. It passed straight through the frozen revenant, armour and torso both, as though the icicles were nothing but vapour.
I was stunned.
Had she been snacking on our provisions while walking behind me all this time? That was outrageous! I knew for a fact that she hadn't purchased everything with her own crowns! And more besides, this wasn't an appropriate time to be wasting food! Why, there wasn't a single bumbling servant to laugh at as they tripped over themselves cleaning up after her! What was the point?
“Coppelia! You cannot waste food like that! There's a time and a place!”
“My bad. Here, watch. I'll do it again.”
Coppelia leaned down and picked up the rock she'd sat on.
It must have weighed heavier than the sacks of flour our chefs carried while their tearful groans echoed merrily in our halls. Even so, this clockwork doll lifted it as though it were no more than a feather pillow.
“Hup,” she said, casually tossing the entire rock at the frozen revenant.
Wooooooooooooooooooooossssssshhhh.
Unlike with the cupcake, her throwing an entire rock drew a reaction.
Preferring sugar and eggs to solid lumps of stone, the frozen revenant whistled like a gale as the rock passed through it—slowly, this time—as though the curse was now fully forming.
Gauntlets. Greaves. Pauldrons and more. Rigid slabs of black plate dripping in icicles materialised at speed before me. And then came the outline of a weapon.
It could have been a staff, a spear, or even a long mace. The end of the weapon was shrouded in flaming ice. A brand of ice so sharp and cold that it seemed to somehow scorch the air around it, that gathering mist around its tip no different than steam.
“There you go,” said Coppelia, gesturing enthusiastically with both her hands as though showing off a new dress. “Physical attacks cannot harm a frozen revenant while its forming. Magic would be effective, but only advanced magic. Do you know any?”
“No.”
“Well, that's that, then. Want to start running?”
“Again, no.”
Even I could see that the monster was almost formed. To run would be to flee with all my might, arms windmilling as I shrieked like a peasant diving out of the way of our royal carriages as we trundled through towns and villages.
I shuddered as I imagined it. The shame would haunt me long after death.
But that death would not be today!
“Ohhohohoho!” I smiled grandly as I spotted a clear weakness. “You may retreat should you wish, my fair clockwork attendant, so that you may have a better view of my masterful ploy!”
“Eh?”
I nodded.
“If I cannot strike while it's forming, then I'll simply do so the moment it's materialised! Just like how I'm still groggy for several hours after waking up from a long nap, this monster will still be in a highly vulnerable state where it bumps into walls and mistakes the curtains for a dress!”
“No, wait, I don't think it works like that … and how long do you nap for, exactly?”
I raised my sword, stepping closer towards the mass of floating black steel and ice. I stared up at it. And more importantly, it stared back down with hungry, burning, yet still also very sleep deprived eyes.
Ohohohoho …
It had no idea what I was about to do to it!
Indeed, how could it, when it didn't even know what day of the week it was, and whether it was time for breakfast, lunch or dinner?
Just as the maids took advantage of my bleary state when they woke me from my slumber, I would ensure that this monster had neither time nor the ability to resist as I struck the first blow!
“Its bleak and tired eyes are uncovered! If I strike it between its visor the moment it forms, then Starlight Grace will do the rest! Neither darkness nor ice can survive my sword's burning righteousness!”
“You're going to stab it in the eyes?”
I nodded wholeheartedly. No matter how underhanded the blow, rest assured that I have no sense of honour whatsoever!
Low blows, eye gouges and headbutts! For the sake of my survival, I will do anything!
Coppelia blinked at me without expression, then covered her mouth with her hands.
In moments, tears began to form in the edge of her pearly eyes as she sought to desperately hold back the raw emotions of seeing my valour on full display. She twirled around, wiped her tears, then turned back to face me with her lips quivering in a brave half-smile.
“Heh … heheh—ahem, sorry, excuse me. So Juliette, that … ahaha—oops, sorry—that visor is a lot smaller than it seems. And the frozen revenant will be moving. And grumpy. Very grumpy. Did I mention grumpy? It'll require precision and speed to strike it in the eye. It's basically threading a needle while doing skipping exercises, you know?”
“Threading a needle … ?”
I approached the frozen revenant. Its black suit had fully encased its figure. And now the last of the swirling icicles had enveloped where its sabatons should be. Nothing formed there. Only cursed magic, ready to propel this monster towards me.
I held my sword aloft, smiling as I readied for the moment.
“Ohohoho … why, I happen to sew proficiently, Coppelia. So believe me when I say that what I must do is far harder than threading a needle. Indeed, a needle can be threaded as many times as required. No. This is worse. Far worse. It's a single chance, a single moment. A requirement to strike directly at the centre of the eye, where hesitation is the precursor to failure. There are no second chances.”
Threading a needle?
Why ... I had something far more appropriate.
Wooooooooooooooooooooossssssshhhh.
Another gust of wind threatened to sweep me off my feet.
I held my ground, teeth clenching as I witnessed the frozen revenant break from its invisible shackles. Its eyes flashed to life. As did mine.
The monster lunged, black weapon encased in frozen death sweeping down towards me.
But slowly … far too slowly!
As expected, I was right! Whether princess or cursed monster from the abyss, nothing in this world was immune to the effects of oversleeping!
As the frozen revenant's dire weapon fell towards me, every hardship I'd suffered guided my hand in a seamless response. Did this monster's cruel brand seek to frighten me? Poor creature. I'd survived blows that struck far crueller than this weapon ever could.
I'd survived judgement. I'd survived disappointment.
I'd survived the world of fine art.
“Return to the nightmare, foul monster! Calm as summer skies, I will still these ocean currents. Painting Form, 2nd Stance … [Pupil Dab]!”
Ohhohohoho! Here it was!
Culminating from years of untold stress, here was my ultimate, precision technique engineered for this moment!
It was a single dab to paint a pupil! That one blot of paint the finale to arduous months of work in my study! It was the difference between a magnum opus and a failed prototype!
A trial I'd endured on countless occasions. My failures repeating ad infinitum until I overcame my hesitation, my fears, my tutors. Thousands of art pieces in ruins, and yet hundreds now stood lining the corridors of the Royal Villa. Each and every one proof of overcoming the burden of unrelenting peer critique in the merciless world of abstract impressionism.
What was death by a frozen revenant, compared to death at the hands of high society?!
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!”
Swifter than the falling ice brand, I lunged forward as Starlight Grace burned with the luminosity of my noble character. The blade slid between the frozen revenant's visor, finding purchase in whatever dark abomination lay beneath its freshly wrought armour.
For a moment, nothing met my attack but the sound of the stream fighting against the encroaching ice.
And then it all shattered.
“—Hiiee?!”
I hurriedly stepped back, my hand tightly clasped around Starlight Grace as the frozen revenant broke apart before me. Its armour didn't merely fall off. It crumbled as though struck in a thousand different places.
And behind it, nothing remained.
The frozen revenant's form shattered, then disintegrated into dust as it fell. A single breeze swept away its remnants, as in mere moments, nothing marked where upon the muddy bank this poor creature had met its demise.
The same wind that had signalled its arrival also whispered its end. And once again, the sound of a running stream came over this mundane stretch of woodland.
The frozen revenant was defeated.
I turned around, smiling and not at all sweating in the slightest. That drop of moisture running down my face? Why, that was merely all that remained of my vanquished foe. It was the icy blood of my enemy, who had the misfortune of minding its own business while I poked it with a stick.
“H-How was that!” I said, sheathing Starlight Grace before placing my hands on my hips. “Did you see my masterful tactics at work?! The stunning footwork? The poise of an … an experienced fencer?”
“Ahahahahahahahaha!!”
I opened my mouth in indignation.
“Cease … Cease your laughing! Why does my resounding victory amuse you so?! I-I understand that my underhanded attack was no proud feat, but even so! I had prevented the inevitable scourge of a rampant frozen revenant! Why must you laugh?!”
Far from ceasing her impudent laughter, Coppelia languished against a tree, her hands failing to hold onto the bark as she slid like some gelatinous ooze down onto the ground.
All the while, the laughter echoed within this small clearing.
“Ahaha … haahhaha … pupil … ahaahha … pupil dab … haaha … hahahah … hahaah … ahaha … hah … ahah ...”
I pursed my lips, tapping my foot as I waited for the mockery to finish.
It was the same as when I'd dispersed the man eating fire breathing death beetles. Except this time, she had no branch to fall from. She was already on the ground, and could laugh largely unperturbed.
“Are you done?”
Coppelia looked up and nodded.
“Yes, I'm—ahahah … hahaah … ahhha …. haa ...”
I rolled my eyes and waited again.
“Okay, okay, I'm done.”
“Really.”
“Yes.”
Coppelia tightly pursed her lips. I could see them still quivering. I flicked my hair and turned to the original matter at hand.
The seashell.
“If you're done being amused at my triumph over comatose adversaries, I suggest you make yourself useful. I trust you have no qualms about picking this up now?”
Coppelia gave a smile as wide as the flowing stream.
“Mmh, none whatsoever~”
She hopped onto her feet, then quickly scooted over. She looked over where the frozen revenant shattered, as if searching for anything she could scavenge.
Despite her claim that revenants were not worth the effort of defeating, it couldn't be denied that on this occasion, it was as simple a task as foregoing all standards of fighting courtesy. If I didn't value my life higher than the expectations of my enemies, I'd be feeling more embarrassed at the result.
“Congratulations,” said Coppelia, narrowing her eyes as she went on to peer at the supremely mundane looking seashell. “Your first treasure. I'm sure those trolls will be lining up to swindle you for this.”
“E-Excuse me! Who exactly is doing the swindling here? I assure you that I'm far too judicious to be pressed into a poor negotiating position.”
Indeed, as I peered down at the seashell, now utterly devoid of any black smog, I knew that I held all the aces in my hand.
Whatever pearl was inside was not ours to take. It was, however, ours to sell.
And for all the mocking laughter I received for my efforts, I'd ensure that I had my due.
“Mmh, got it,” said Coppelia, bending down to pick up the seashell. “I look forward to seeing what stern expression you make as you show those highly discerning troll merchants what the meaning of a hard bargain is.”
“—I beg of you, don't!”
Coppelia blinked at me. I did the same to her.
That wasn't my voice. Nor was it hers.
In unison, we looked down at the seashell that Coppelia had just picked up.
The seashell which had now snapped open.
A pearl revealed itself. It was a radiant blue, swirling with a depth so deep that it could have reflected the bottom of the ocean. And it was also glowing.
“Brave heroines!” called out the pearl, lighting up as it spoke. “Good has prevailed this day! You have rescued me from the foul curse's imprisonment! The revenant which hounded my abode is now humbled, and I am free to bask in the joy of the free air once more! Oh, brave heroines, I would gift you a boon for this feat of valour! In the name of the sea and stars, I offer freely my wisdom, my strength and my knowledge, to aid you in this time of darkness as you have aided me!”
Coppelia quickly shut the shell. It wriggled slightly, unable to break free of her clasped hold.
“So, trolls?” she suggested.
I nodded.
“Trolls.”
