Chapter 375: 375
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"Hah... that's good." Bai Yaoxuan was momentarily taken aback by the other's passion before she realized something strange. "Wait, you said... you designed the tests?"
Shen Tianyu immediately clammed her mouth shut at the mention. 'Uh-oh. I slipped up' she thought as imaginary sweat spilled down her back while the other girl stared hard at her.
"That-That's right. The Master had been kind enough to let me into the design team when he decided to rearrange the organization. Thanks to his grace, I was in charge of the majority of the initiation redesign." Shen Tianyu flubbed with an awkward laugh. She initially didn't want to involve her with this matter but if the other was serious about pursuing cultivation, it would be better if she had proper support behind her so she didn't fall behind on resources. There's only so much that a School can provide to an individual student after all.
"Hm..." Bai Yaxuan stared at her face for a bit but decided to let it go. "Then, I'll give it a try but I need to learn more first."
"Mn. That's good. If you're low on money you can just stay in the dorms, you know?" Shen Tianyu decided to change the topic.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll see if they'll let me live in the dorms this late in the term." Bai Yaoxuan mentally took note of that. "By the way, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Mn... I just wanted to ask you if I did the right thing." The air around Shen Tianyu changed as she looked at the ground.
"... About?"
"The marriage. You know, I don't love him, even now. But he loves me and I thought as long as that stood, I can come to love him too. But, I realized, how uneven the relationship is. He's the one making all this effort yet I'm just here only receiving. Was it okay for me to marry him when I didn't love him? That question has been circling inside my head. If I happen to fall in love with someone else, wouldn't he be getting the short end of the stick?"
"But marriage is about being together with someone you love for the rest of your life, so why did you go through with it if you didn't love him?"
"That's true. You never really had any good experiences with love." Bai Yaoxuan thought back to all the experiences her sister has had pertaining to love in their previous life.
Her mother had fallen into ruin because of that one emotion and had been abandoned. That father of hers who played around destroyed his marriage to a higher class woman with his own hands, which was a symbol of failed love. Then, she was too busy with her own troubles and finances to even experience a crush, much less a date. The first and only time she dated someone on her own ended up being the reason for her death. She wanted to start her love life anew in a new world, but because she still had her memories, it was exceedingly hard. Because she couldn't and she never did, fall into that period of believing love to be this magical and warm thing that could solve all of one's miseries. So she had a hard time imagining a good ending for herself.
"But, the fact that you're worried about that means you care for him right? On a higher level than acquaintances. Maybe even higher than an average friend. Isn't it fine? You don't need to be blindly passionate to declare you are in love. There are plenty of people whose love is a running river instead of a constantly active volcano. And you're not the type of person to become all lovey-dovey and cling to your lover. Love takes many different forms, isn't it fine if yours doesn't take the form that people usually write about in novels? And, it seems to me you are beginning to care for him as more than a friend." Bai Yaoxuan squeezed Shen Tianyu's hand, who was still trying to bore a hole into the stone pavement.
"But I don't feel that different about him from when we first met." Shen Tianyu chewed on her lips as she raised her head a fraction to direct her gaze at Bai Yaoxuan.
"It's okay if you don't feel much of a change. There's no need to immediately change just because you have a new life. Change takes time so it's fine if you progress one step at a time. And there's no need to forget your past too. You said before, a person's past is what makes them who they are, right?" Bai Yaoxuan leaned forward to meet the other's eyes.
"Just take it easy okay?" Bai Yaoxuan petted Shen Tianyu's head with her free hand.
Shen Tianyu nodded in affirmation but whether it eased her worries, neither of them could be sure.
"Anyways, I've arrived at my class so shouldn't you go to yours too?" Bai Yaoxuan turned around to fully face Shen Tianyu and pointed behind her with her thumb.
"Okay. Take care." Shen Tianyu gave her a breif smile before she turned around and went to her own class.
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"Hah... that's good." Bai Yaoxuan was momentarily taken aback by the other's passion before she realized something strange. "Wait, you said... you designed the tests?"
Shen Tianyu immediately clammed her mouth shut at the mention. 'Uh-oh. I slipped up' she thought as imaginary sweat spilled down her back while the other girl stared hard at her.
"That-That's right. The Master had been kind enough to let me into the design team when he decided to rearrange the organization. Thanks to his grace, I was in charge of the majority of the initiation redesign." Shen Tianyu flubbed with an awkward laugh. She initially didn't want to involve her with this matter but if the other was serious about pursuing cultivation, it would be better if she had proper support behind her so she didn't fall behind on resources. There's only so much that a School can provide to an individual student after all.
"Hm..." Bai Yaxuan stared at her face for a bit but decided to let it go. "Then, I'll give it a try but I need to learn more first."
"Mn. That's good. If you're low on money you can just stay in the dorms, you know?" Shen Tianyu decided to change the topic.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll see if they'll let me live in the dorms this late in the term." Bai Yaoxuan mentally took note of that. "By the way, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Mn... I just wanted to ask you if I did the right thing." The air around Shen Tianyu changed as she looked at the ground.
"... About?"
"The marriage. You know, I don't love him, even now. But he loves me and I thought as long as that stood, I can come to love him too. But, I realized, how uneven the relationship is. He's the one making all this effort yet I'm just here only receiving. Was it okay for me to marry him when I didn't love him? That question has been circling inside my head. If I happen to fall in love with someone else, wouldn't he be getting the short end of the stick?"
"But marriage is about being together with someone you love for the rest of your life, so why did you go through with it if you didn't love him?"
"That's true. You never really had any good experiences with love." Bai Yaoxuan thought back to all the experiences her sister has had pertaining to love in their previous life.
Her mother had fallen into ruin because of that one emotion and had been abandoned. That father of hers who played around destroyed his marriage to a higher class woman with his own hands, which was a symbol of failed love. Then, she was too busy with her own troubles and finances to even experience a crush, much less a date. The first and only time she dated someone on her own ended up being the reason for her death. She wanted to start her love life anew in a new world, but because she still had her memories, it was exceedingly hard. Because she couldn't and she never did, fall into that period of believing love to be this magical and warm thing that could solve all of one's miseries. So she had a hard time imagining a good ending for herself.
"But, the fact that you're worried about that means you care for him right? On a higher level than acquaintances. Maybe even higher than an average friend. Isn't it fine? You don't need to be blindly passionate to declare you are in love. There are plenty of people whose love is a running river instead of a constantly active volcano. And you're not the type of person to become all lovey-dovey and cling to your lover. Love takes many different forms, isn't it fine if yours doesn't take the form that people usually write about in novels? And, it seems to me you are beginning to care for him as more than a friend." Bai Yaoxuan squeezed Shen Tianyu's hand, who was still trying to bore a hole into the stone pavement.
"But I don't feel that different about him from when we first met." Shen Tianyu chewed on her lips as she raised her head a fraction to direct her gaze at Bai Yaoxuan.
"It's okay if you don't feel much of a change. There's no need to immediately change just because you have a new life. Change takes time so it's fine if you progress one step at a time. And there's no need to forget your past too. You said before, a person's past is what makes them who they are, right?" Bai Yaoxuan leaned forward to meet the other's eyes.
"Just take it easy okay?" Bai Yaoxuan petted Shen Tianyu's head with her free hand.
Shen Tianyu nodded in affirmation but whether it eased her worries, neither of them could be sure.
"Anyways, I've arrived at my class so shouldn't you go to yours too?" Bai Yaoxuan turned around to fully face Shen Tianyu and pointed behind her with her thumb.
"Okay. Take care." Shen Tianyu gave her a breif smile before she turned around and went to her own class.
"Hah... that's good." Bai Yaoxuan was momentarily taken aback by the other's passion before she realized something strange. "Wait, you said... you designed the tests?"Shen Tianyu immediately clammed her mouth shut at the mention. 'Uh-oh. I slipped up' she thought as imaginary sweat spilled down her back while the other girl stared hard at her."That-That's right. The Master had been kind enough to let me into the design team when he decided to rearrange the organization. Thanks to his grace, I was in charge of the majority of the initiation redesign." Shen Tianyu flubbed with an awkward laugh. She initially didn't want to involve her with this matter but if the other was serious about pursuing cultivation, it would be better if she had proper support behind her so she didn't fall behind on resources. There's only so much that a School can provide to an individual student after all."Hm..." Bai Yaxuan stared at her face for a bit but decided to let it go. "Then, I'll give it a try but I need to learn more first.""Mn. That's good. If you're low on money you can just stay in the dorms, you know?" Shen Tianyu decided to change the topic."Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll see if they'll let me live in the dorms this late in the term." Bai Yaoxuan mentally took note of that. "By the way, what did you want to talk to me about?""Mn... I just wanted to ask you if I did the right thing." The air around Shen Tianyu changed as she looked at the ground."... About?""The marriage. You know, I don't love him, even now. But he loves me and I thought as long as that stood, I can come to love him too. But, I realized, how uneven the relationship is. He's the one making all this effort yet I'm just here only receiving. Was it okay for me to marry him when I didn't love him? That question has been circling inside my head. If I happen to fall in love with someone else, wouldn't he be getting the short end of the stick?""But marriage is about being together with someone you love for the rest of your life, so why did you go through with it if you didn't love him?""That's true. You never really had any good experiences with love." Bai Yaoxuan thought back to all the experiences her sister has had pertaining to love in their previous life.Her mother had fallen into ruin because of that one emotion and had been abandoned. That father of hers who played around destroyed his marriage to a higher class woman with his own hands, which was a symbol of failed love. Then, she was too busy with her own troubles and finances to even experience a crush, much less a date. The first and only time she dated someone on her own ended up being the reason for her death. She wanted to start her love life anew in a new world, but because she still had her memories, it was exceedingly hard. Because she couldn't and she never did, fall into that period of believing love to be this magical and warm thing that could solve all of one's miseries. So she had a hard time imagining a good ending for herself."But, the fact that you're worried about that means you care for him right? On a higher level than acquaintances. Maybe even higher than an average friend. Isn't it fine? You don't need to be blindly passionate to declare you are in love. There are plenty of people whose love is a running river instead of a constantly active volcano. And you're not the type of person to become all lovey-dovey and cling to your lover. Love takes many different forms, isn't it fine if yours doesn't take the form that people usually write about in novels? And, it seems to me you are beginning to care for him as more than a friend." Bai Yaoxuan squeezed Shen Tianyu's hand, who was still trying to bore a hole into the stone pavement."But I don't feel that different about him from when we first met." Shen Tianyu chewed on her lips as she raised her head a fraction to direct her gaze at Bai Yaoxuan."It's okay if you don't feel much of a change. There's no need to immediately change just because you have a new life. Change takes time so it's fine if you progress one step at a time. And there's no need to forget your past too. You said before, a person's past is what makes them who they are, right?" Bai Yaoxuan leaned forward to meet the other's eyes."Just take it easy okay?" Bai Yaoxuan petted Shen Tianyu's head with her free hand.Shen Tianyu nodded in affirmation but whether it eased her worries, neither of them could be sure."Anyways, I've arrived at my class so shouldn't you go to yours too?" Bai Yaoxuan turned around to fully face Shen Tianyu and pointed behind her with her thumb."Okay. Take care." Shen Tianyu gave her a breif smile before she turned around and went to her own class.
