Chapter 148: SHOOTING STAR
If audio player doesn't work, press Stop then Play button again
Edwin looked out of the window at the dark sky that was adorned with twinkling stars and a crescent moon.
The food on the plate was now cold on the table. He had not touched a morsel from it. He did not feel like eating anything. The only thing he kept absorbing was the rufous wolfsbane liquid and his misery.
He slowly looked down at the brown piece of cloth in his hand. He had not left that cloth alone in a fear that he would lose himself without it.
A door burst open and entered angry Lester with a deep frown on his handsome face.
"Edwin!"
Edwin ignored his call. He was in no mood to talk. All he needed was his mate, and if he could not have her, then he did not wish for anything else.
Lester stomped towards where Edwin was seated and turned him around by grabbing his shoulder.
"You did not listen, or you do not want to listen?"
Looking at him with lazy eyes, Edwin kept mum.
"Why is your food untouched?" Lester came straight to the point.
"Edwin, I am asking yo something. Answer me or Moon Goddess help me I will-"
"I am not hungry." Came Edwin's calm reply.
Lester blinked. "What?"
"I said I am not hungry. If you are done, then please leave."
Edwin was about to turn, but Lester did not let him. Lester had enough of this nonsense. While on his way here, a guard informed him that Edwin had not eaten anything since yesterday.
All Edwin passed through his system was a wolfsbane potion to keep his wolf weak. But he was not realising that it was also affecting his human form.
"No, my leader. I am not done yet. We need to talk and that is right now!" Lester matched Edwin's gaze.
If it had not for the wolfsbane potion and Edwin's miserable state, he would have glared at Lester or even threatened him for raising his voice on him. But this time, he just stayed calm with a disinterested look in his eyes.
Lester's heart pained seeing his friend like this.
"What do you want to talk Lester? I am all ears." Saying that Edwin sat on the bed, for his legs hurt after standing for a long time.
"Exactly my problem is, Edwin. You are only listening to everything, but nothing is passing through that thick skull of yours." Lester finally exploded.
Edwin cocked his brow up at his best friend. "You do know that I can award you a punishment for talking that way with your leader."
"Oh, my highness, if that is so, then please do that. But before that, I am surprised that you remember that you are our leader. What a wonderful moment of my life!"
Lester rolled his eyes dramatically.
"You are talking like Eloise right now. Or are you spending time with her than Elsie, huh?" Edwin wanted to smirk, but nothing humoured him.
Lester's brows creased further. He was serious, and Edwin just did not understand.
"Enough Edwin! Stop with these jokes. And I am not spending time with Eloise because I have my mate for that."
Lester paused when Edwin's expressions changed suddenly at the mention of the word mate. He cursed himself for not being careful in front of Edwin.
"I-I am sorry, Edwin. I did not mean to..."
Lester did not mean to rub it on Edwin. And Edwin understood it.
"It does not change my fate, dear friend. I want to live alone."
"Edwin, I-"
"I said get out Lester!" Suddenly Edwin was angry.
But that did not budge Lester's resolve. He had decided to slap some sense into his idiot friend's mind.
"NO! I am not going anywhere. And I am not letting you turn away from your responsibilities." Lester obstructed Edwin's way when he got up to leave the room.
"Lester!" Edwin warned.
"I know you are my leader, my alpha, but that is the very thing you are forgetting these days. Do you know what is happening around you, Edwin?
You have locked up yourself in these four walls, but it's time to rise and look outside. There are hundreds of issues that need your attention."
Both men glared at each other.
"I do not care!" Edwin was so done with Lester's continuous nagging. He was tired of hearing only his mistakes.
"Of course, you do not! That is why you are sulking in the corner like a powerless kid. And for what? You have found your mate, and she has not rejected you yet.
You have to understand that there are more important things than spending your time while thinking about the woman who does not even want to breathe the same air as you!"
That last part hit Edwin like a brick thrown in his face. He took a threatening step towards Lester and wanted his wolf to come out, but he was too exhausted to do that. Besides, he knew what Lester said was the bitter truth.
'She does not even want to breathe the same air as me!'
His heart shrunk at that thought.
"Do you have any idea of what Lord Augustus and everyone in the family is going through because of you?" Lester questioned.
"I do not want to hear." Edwin's body tensed hearing about his family's discomfort.
"You have to hear, alpha Edwin O'Dell. Because Ripon came here a few days back and put us in a difficult position when you were busy griefing over your untouchable mate."
Ripon's name rang an alarm in Edwin's mind. He looked up surprised at that news.
"Ripon came? But why?"
"Because you promised the council to finish the investigation in time or you will take the complete responsibility. And by this rate, you are certainly going to fail your word."
Edwin had forgotten about that. How could he? But thinking about the investigation brought back the memories from that dreadful night when that man told him that his beloved ones were not safe.
"Edwin, listen to me carefully. I think Lord Augustus has a solid link about the investigation. He has indirectly threatened Ripon, and by Ripon's reaction, I suspect that Lord Augustus was not only buying the time. He certainly knows something that we do not know."
Lester had tried talking with Augustus about what he told Ripon. But the old man denied opening his mouth no matter how much Lester convinced him.
"Lester, I-"
"There is more, my dear friend." Lester said, showing his palm.
He strained his ears to listen to any heartbeat around the room. He did not want anyone to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Your people are changing sides, Edwin. They are confused. They do not know why their leader can not control his wolf. They do not understand why he has disappeared and why everyone in the family is so worried."
Lester was desperate. He could not see everything falling apart in front of his eyes. He had to do something before Edwin lost himself to his wolf or everything around him.
"You have to pull yourself together, Edwin. You can not spend your life sulking over a woman. If she is destined to be with you, then she will be with you in the end.
You have to prioritise everything. You-"
A dry laugh came out of Edwin's mouth that stopped Lester. He looked at the other man with puzzled expressions.
"What?"
"You are telling me all this because you want me to resume my duties. It has nothing to do with what I need or what I feel, has it Lester?"
"Edwin..."
Edwin's face hardened, and he glared at Lester with a clenched jaw.
"It is easy for you to say stop sulking. But do you know how it feels when you have half part of your soul right in front of your eyes, but you can not touch it?
Just remember how you felt when Elsie got mad at you and did not talk with you for over a week. We were kids back then, and yet you acted like someone had punished you to not breathe. Do you remember it?"
Walking past Lester, Edwin tried to hide his face from him. He did not want his best friend to see the disappointment on his face.
"Elsie was right. Everyone is blaming me, bad mouthing about me. But no one is ready to understand me. Even you- my childhood friend, more like a brother can not understand what I am going through.
Ruth is not any other woman, Lester. She is my mate! My better half. The missing part of my soul. You know very well why I can not have her. And even then, you are here lecturing me about my responsibilities?"
"Edwin..." Lester did not know what to say.
"Get out before I do something that we both will regret. It is an order of your leader!"
That left Lester no choice than leaving Edwin alone with his grief.
Edwin closed his eyes tightly while breathing through his mouth. His headache only grew after this fight. But more than his headache, the ache in his heart had brought him down on his knees.
He felt suffocated and restless. He needed something to calm his mind, and that only drew his attention to that brown piece of cloth.
After months, Ruth's scent had faded away. But it still reminded him of how she smelled. It still had him anchored to the harbour of sanity, or else he would have been a lost ship in the ocean of confusion and hopelessness.
He held that cloth near his heart while his gaze looked out at the dark sky. There were so many emotions in his heart yet he felt like it was dead inside his chest without his mate.
******
Oh, beautiful shooting star
I am looking at you from far afar
I am running to chase you with my bare hands
But don't know the place where you land
The more I watch, the more I need
The more I run, the more you're ahead of me
Oh, beautiful shooting star
I wonder why you run so far
There's a pain in my chest,
Can you feel it?
The darkness within me don't let me run free
It is so close to my soul than we could ever be
I am trying to fight back
I am trying to run fast
But I guess the belief is what I lack
Oh, beautiful shooting star
I wish I could follow your mark
My hope is dying, my world is crumbling
The terror of emptiness has me shattering
My monsters are roaring and searching
They're looking for the light that is keeping me alive
Past mistakes are laughing at my face
My insecurities crawling on the surface
How much I wish you to be here
And tell me there's nothing to fear
The more I try, the more I cry
The tired soul is what that sigh
Oh, beautiful shooting star
They don't know what a wonder you are
My heart wants to hide you from the claws that want me to die
Maybe we don't belong together
After all, I'll be this lost case forever
You are the light that I chase
And I am the dark that you can't erase
That is destiny, and all my tries are waste
Oh, beautiful shooting star
You look enchanting from afar
Away from my monsters, away from my scars… away from ME!
******
Edwin's vision turned blurry, and then only he realised that the leader of the werewolf had tears gathered in his eyes. He had not shaded a single tear when he got to know that he was a child without the love of his parents.
He did not cry when his beloved grandfather passed away. He did not cry when he took attacks of his enemy on his chest. He did not cry when the feeling of loneliness jumped on his shoulders. He had never cried. Till now!
But this one woman had him under her spell without even knowing it. He could not forget how her long silky toffee brown coloured hair danced on the wind. He had her twinkling hazel eyes that were full of life and hope imprinted in his mind.
Her flowery scent was addicting more than anything he had experienced before. Her soft lips were intoxicating than any alcohol that he had consumed in his life.
That beautiful angel was his. And yet, he could not have her. He could not put her in danger. She had become his life, and who could put their life at stake?
He did not expect anything from the world. He did not care about anything. All his life he only had responsibilities towards others, duties towards his pack members, image to maintain for the world. Everything he had to was for others.
But for the first time in decades, the Moon Goddess had sent something for him that he could call as his... only his. Finally, he had a shoulder to lean on, but he could not even touch her.
Out of all the people, he expected Lester to understand him, but clearly, his expectations turned into a false hope. All he was left with was a brown piece of cloth and an image of an angel that was imprinted in his mind.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
Edwin looked out of the window at the dark sky that was adorned with twinkling stars and a crescent moon.
The food on the plate was now cold on the table. He had not touched a morsel from it. He did not feel like eating anything. The only thing he kept absorbing was the rufous wolfsbane liquid and his misery.
He slowly looked down at the brown piece of cloth in his hand. He had not left that cloth alone in a fear that he would lose himself without it.
A door burst open and entered angry Lester with a deep frown on his handsome face.
"Edwin!"
Edwin ignored his call. He was in no mood to talk. All he needed was his mate, and if he could not have her, then he did not wish for anything else.
Lester stomped towards where Edwin was seated and turned him around by grabbing his shoulder.
"You did not listen, or you do not want to listen?"
Looking at him with lazy eyes, Edwin kept mum.
"Why is your food untouched?" Lester came straight to the point.
"Edwin, I am asking yo something. Answer me or Moon Goddess help me I will-"
"I am not hungry." Came Edwin's calm reply.
Lester blinked. "What?"
"I said I am not hungry. If you are done, then please leave."
Edwin was about to turn, but Lester did not let him. Lester had enough of this nonsense. While on his way here, a guard informed him that Edwin had not eaten anything since yesterday.
All Edwin passed through his system was a wolfsbane potion to keep his wolf weak. But he was not realising that it was also affecting his human form.
"No, my leader. I am not done yet. We need to talk and that is right now!" Lester matched Edwin's gaze.
If it had not for the wolfsbane potion and Edwin's miserable state, he would have glared at Lester or even threatened him for raising his voice on him. But this time, he just stayed calm with a disinterested look in his eyes.
Lester's heart pained seeing his friend like this.
"What do you want to talk Lester? I am all ears." Saying that Edwin sat on the bed, for his legs hurt after standing for a long time.
"Exactly my problem is, Edwin. You are only listening to everything, but nothing is passing through that thick skull of yours." Lester finally exploded.
Edwin cocked his brow up at his best friend. "You do know that I can award you a punishment for talking that way with your leader."
"Oh, my highness, if that is so, then please do that. But before that, I am surprised that you remember that you are our leader. What a wonderful moment of my life!"
Lester rolled his eyes dramatically.
"You are talking like Eloise right now. Or are you spending time with her than Elsie, huh?" Edwin wanted to smirk, but nothing humoured him.
Lester's brows creased further. He was serious, and Edwin just did not understand.
"Enough Edwin! Stop with these jokes. And I am not spending time with Eloise because I have my mate for that."
Lester paused when Edwin's expressions changed suddenly at the mention of the word mate. He cursed himself for not being careful in front of Edwin.
"I-I am sorry, Edwin. I did not mean to..."
Lester did not mean to rub it on Edwin. And Edwin understood it.
"It does not change my fate, dear friend. I want to live alone."
"Edwin, I-"
"I said get out Lester!" Suddenly Edwin was angry.
But that did not budge Lester's resolve. He had decided to slap some sense into his idiot friend's mind.
"NO! I am not going anywhere. And I am not letting you turn away from your responsibilities." Lester obstructed Edwin's way when he got up to leave the room.
"Lester!" Edwin warned.
"I know you are my leader, my alpha, but that is the very thing you are forgetting these days. Do you know what is happening around you, Edwin?
You have locked up yourself in these four walls, but it's time to rise and look outside. There are hundreds of issues that need your attention."
Both men glared at each other.
"I do not care!" Edwin was so done with Lester's continuous nagging. He was tired of hearing only his mistakes.
"Of course, you do not! That is why you are sulking in the corner like a powerless kid. And for what? You have found your mate, and she has not rejected you yet.
You have to understand that there are more important things than spending your time while thinking about the woman who does not even want to breathe the same air as you!"
That last part hit Edwin like a brick thrown in his face. He took a threatening step towards Lester and wanted his wolf to come out, but he was too exhausted to do that. Besides, he knew what Lester said was the bitter truth.
'She does not even want to breathe the same air as me!'
His heart shrunk at that thought.
"Do you have any idea of what Lord Augustus and everyone in the family is going through because of you?" Lester questioned.
"I do not want to hear." Edwin's body tensed hearing about his family's discomfort.
"You have to hear, alpha Edwin O'Dell. Because Ripon came here a few days back and put us in a difficult position when you were busy griefing over your untouchable mate."
Ripon's name rang an alarm in Edwin's mind. He looked up surprised at that news.
"Ripon came? But why?"
"Because you promised the council to finish the investigation in time or you will take the complete responsibility. And by this rate, you are certainly going to fail your word."
Edwin had forgotten about that. How could he? But thinking about the investigation brought back the memories from that dreadful night when that man told him that his beloved ones were not safe.
"Edwin, listen to me carefully. I think Lord Augustus has a solid link about the investigation. He has indirectly threatened Ripon, and by Ripon's reaction, I suspect that Lord Augustus was not only buying the time. He certainly knows something that we do not know."
Lester had tried talking with Augustus about what he told Ripon. But the old man denied opening his mouth no matter how much Lester convinced him.
"Lester, I-"
"There is more, my dear friend." Lester said, showing his palm.
He strained his ears to listen to any heartbeat around the room. He did not want anyone to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Your people are changing sides, Edwin. They are confused. They do not know why their leader can not control his wolf. They do not understand why he has disappeared and why everyone in the family is so worried."
Lester was desperate. He could not see everything falling apart in front of his eyes. He had to do something before Edwin lost himself to his wolf or everything around him.
"You have to pull yourself together, Edwin. You can not spend your life sulking over a woman. If she is destined to be with you, then she will be with you in the end.
You have to prioritise everything. You-"
A dry laugh came out of Edwin's mouth that stopped Lester. He looked at the other man with puzzled expressions.
"What?"
"You are telling me all this because you want me to resume my duties. It has nothing to do with what I need or what I feel, has it Lester?"
"Edwin..."
Edwin's face hardened, and he glared at Lester with a clenched jaw.
"It is easy for you to say stop sulking. But do you know how it feels when you have half part of your soul right in front of your eyes, but you can not touch it?
Just remember how you felt when Elsie got mad at you and did not talk with you for over a week. We were kids back then, and yet you acted like someone had punished you to not breathe. Do you remember it?"
Walking past Lester, Edwin tried to hide his face from him. He did not want his best friend to see the disappointment on his face.
"Elsie was right. Everyone is blaming me, bad mouthing about me. But no one is ready to understand me. Even you- my childhood friend, more like a brother can not understand what I am going through.
Ruth is not any other woman, Lester. She is my mate! My better half. The missing part of my soul. You know very well why I can not have her. And even then, you are here lecturing me about my responsibilities?"
"Edwin..." Lester did not know what to say.
"Get out before I do something that we both will regret. It is an order of your leader!"
That left Lester no choice than leaving Edwin alone with his grief.
Edwin closed his eyes tightly while breathing through his mouth. His headache only grew after this fight. But more than his headache, the ache in his heart had brought him down on his knees.
He felt suffocated and restless. He needed something to calm his mind, and that only drew his attention to that brown piece of cloth.
After months, Ruth's scent had faded away. But it still reminded him of how she smelled. It still had him anchored to the harbour of sanity, or else he would have been a lost ship in the ocean of confusion and hopelessness.
He held that cloth near his heart while his gaze looked out at the dark sky. There were so many emotions in his heart yet he felt like it was dead inside his chest without his mate.
******
Oh, beautiful shooting star
I am looking at you from far afar
I am running to chase you with my bare hands
But don't know the place where you land
The more I watch, the more I need
The more I run, the more you're ahead of me
Oh, beautiful shooting star
I wonder why you run so far
There's a pain in my chest,
Can you feel it?
The darkness within me don't let me run free
It is so close to my soul than we could ever be
I am trying to fight back
I am trying to run fast
But I guess the belief is what I lack
Oh, beautiful shooting star
I wish I could follow your mark
My hope is dying, my world is crumbling
The terror of emptiness has me shattering
My monsters are roaring and searching
They're looking for the light that is keeping me alive
Past mistakes are laughing at my face
My insecurities crawling on the surface
How much I wish you to be here
And tell me there's nothing to fear
The more I try, the more I cry
The tired soul is what that sigh
Oh, beautiful shooting star
They don't know what a wonder you are
My heart wants to hide you from the claws that want me to die
Maybe we don't belong together
After all, I'll be this lost case forever
You are the light that I chase
And I am the dark that you can't erase
That is destiny, and all my tries are waste
Oh, beautiful shooting star
You look enchanting from afar
Away from my monsters, away from my scars… away from ME!
******
Edwin's vision turned blurry, and then only he realised that the leader of the werewolf had tears gathered in his eyes. He had not shaded a single tear when he got to know that he was a child without the love of his parents.
He did not cry when his beloved grandfather passed away. He did not cry when he took attacks of his enemy on his chest. He did not cry when the feeling of loneliness jumped on his shoulders. He had never cried. Till now!
But this one woman had him under her spell without even knowing it. He could not forget how her long silky toffee brown coloured hair danced on the wind. He had her twinkling hazel eyes that were full of life and hope imprinted in his mind.
Her flowery scent was addicting more than anything he had experienced before. Her soft lips were intoxicating than any alcohol that he had consumed in his life.
That beautiful angel was his. And yet, he could not have her. He could not put her in danger. She had become his life, and who could put their life at stake?
He did not expect anything from the world. He did not care about anything. All his life he only had responsibilities towards others, duties towards his pack members, image to maintain for the world. Everything he had to was for others.
But for the first time in decades, the Moon Goddess had sent something for him that he could call as his... only his. Finally, he had a shoulder to lean on, but he could not even touch her.
Out of all the people, he expected Lester to understand him, but clearly, his expectations turned into a false hope. All he was left with was a brown piece of cloth and an image of an angel that was imprinted in his mind.
Edwin looked out of the window at the dark sky that was adorned with twinkling stars and a crescent moon. The food on the plate was now cold on the table. He had not touched a morsel from it. He did not feel like eating anything. The only thing he kept absorbing was the rufous wolfsbane liquid and his misery. He slowly looked down at the brown piece of cloth in his hand. He had not left that cloth alone in a fear that he would lose himself without it. A door burst open and entered angry Lester with a deep frown on his handsome face. "Edwin!" Edwin ignored his call. He was in no mood to talk. All he needed was his mate, and if he could not have her, then he did not wish for anything else. Lester stomped towards where Edwin was seated and turned him around by grabbing his shoulder. "You did not listen, or you do not want to listen?" Looking at him with lazy eyes, Edwin kept mum. "Why is your food untouched?" Lester came straight to the point. "Edwin, I am asking yo something. Answer me or Moon Goddess help me I will-" "I am not hungry." Came Edwin's calm reply. Lester blinked. "What?" "I said I am not hungry. If you are done, then please leave." Edwin was about to turn, but Lester did not let him. Lester had enough of this nonsense. While on his way here, a guard informed him that Edwin had not eaten anything since yesterday. All Edwin passed through his system was a wolfsbane potion to keep his wolf weak. But he was not realising that it was also affecting his human form. "No, my leader. I am not done yet. We need to talk and that is right now!" Lester matched Edwin's gaze. If it had not for the wolfsbane potion and Edwin's miserable state, he would have glared at Lester or even threatened him for raising his voice on him. But this time, he just stayed calm with a disinterested look in his eyes. Lester's heart pained seeing his friend like this. "What do you want to talk Lester? I am all ears." Saying that Edwin sat on the bed, for his legs hurt after standing for a long time. "Exactly my problem is, Edwin. You are only listening to everything, but nothing is passing through that thick skull of yours." Lester finally exploded. Edwin cocked his brow up at his best friend. "You do know that I can award you a punishment for talking that way with your leader." "Oh, my highness, if that is so, then please do that. But before that, I am surprised that you remember that you are our leader. What a wonderful moment of my life!" Lester rolled his eyes dramatically. "You are talking like Eloise right now. Or are you spending time with her than Elsie, huh?" Edwin wanted to smirk, but nothing humoured him. Lester's brows creased further. He was serious, and Edwin just did not understand. "Enough Edwin! Stop with these jokes. And I am not spending time with Eloise because I have my mate for that." Lester paused when Edwin's expressions changed suddenly at the mention of the word mate. He cursed himself for not being careful in front of Edwin. "I-I am sorry, Edwin. I did not mean to..." Lester did not mean to rub it on Edwin. And Edwin understood it. "It does not change my fate, dear friend. I want to live alone." "Edwin, I-" "I said get out Lester!" Suddenly Edwin was angry. But that did not budge Lester's resolve. He had decided to slap some sense into his idiot friend's mind. "NO! I am not going anywhere. And I am not letting you turn away from your responsibilities." Lester obstructed Edwin's way when he got up to leave the room. "Lester!" Edwin warned. "I know you are my leader, my alpha, but that is the very thing you are forgetting these days. Do you know what is happening around you, Edwin? You have locked up yourself in these four walls, but it's time to rise and look outside. There are hundreds of issues that need your attention." Both men glared at each other. "I do not care!" Edwin was so done with Lester's continuous nagging. He was tired of hearing only his mistakes. "Of course, you do not! That is why you are sulking in the corner like a powerless kid. And for what? You have found your mate, and she has not rejected you yet. You have to understand that there are more important things than spending your time while thinking about the woman who does not even want to breathe the same air as you!" That last part hit Edwin like a brick thrown in his face. He took a threatening step towards Lester and wanted his wolf to come out, but he was too exhausted to do that. Besides, he knew what Lester said was the bitter truth. 'She does not even want to breathe the same air as me!' His heart shrunk at that thought. "Do you have any idea of what Lord Augustus and everyone in the family is going through because of you?" Lester questioned. "I do not want to hear." Edwin's body tensed hearing about his family's discomfort. "You have to hear, alpha Edwin O'Dell. Because Ripon came here a few days back and put us in a difficult position when you were busy griefing over your untouchable mate." Ripon's name rang an alarm in Edwin's mind. He looked up surprised at that news. "Ripon came? But why?" "Because you promised the council to finish the investigation in time or you will take the complete responsibility. And by this rate, you are certainly going to fail your word." Edwin had forgotten about that. How could he? But thinking about the investigation brought back the memories from that dreadful night when that man told him that his beloved ones were not safe. "Edwin, listen to me carefully. I think Lord Augustus has a solid link about the investigation. He has indirectly threatened Ripon, and by Ripon's reaction, I suspect that Lord Augustus was not only buying the time. He certainly knows something that we do not know." Lester had tried talking with Augustus about what he told Ripon. But the old man denied opening his mouth no matter how much Lester convinced him. "Lester, I-" "There is more, my dear friend." Lester said, showing his palm. He strained his ears to listen to any heartbeat around the room. He did not want anyone to eavesdrop on their conversation. "Your people are changing sides, Edwin. They are confused. They do not know why their leader can not control his wolf. They do not understand why he has disappeared and why everyone in the family is so worried." Lester was desperate. He could not see everything falling apart in front of his eyes. He had to do something before Edwin lost himself to his wolf or everything around him. "You have to pull yourself together, Edwin. You can not spend your life sulking over a woman. If she is destined to be with you, then she will be with you in the end. You have to prioritise everything. You-" A dry laugh came out of Edwin's mouth that stopped Lester. He looked at the other man with puzzled expressions. "What?" "You are telling me all this because you want me to resume my duties. It has nothing to do with what I need or what I feel, has it Lester?" "Edwin..." Edwin's face hardened, and he glared at Lester with a clenched jaw. "It is easy for you to say stop sulking. But do you know how it feels when you have half part of your soul right in front of your eyes, but you can not touch it? Just remember how you felt when Elsie got mad at you and did not talk with you for over a week. We were kids back then, and yet you acted like someone had punished you to not breathe. Do you remember it?" Walking past Lester, Edwin tried to hide his face from him. He did not want his best friend to see the disappointment on his face. "Elsie was right. Everyone is blaming me, bad mouthing about me. But no one is ready to understand me. Even you- my childhood friend, more like a brother can not understand what I am going through. Ruth is not any other woman, Lester. She is my mate! My better half. The missing part of my soul. You know very well why I can not have her. And even then, you are here lecturing me about my responsibilities?" "Edwin..." Lester did not know what to say. "Get out before I do something that we both will regret. It is an order of your leader!" That left Lester no choice than leaving Edwin alone with his grief. Edwin closed his eyes tightly while breathing through his mouth. His headache only grew after this fight. But more than his headache, the ache in his heart had brought him down on his knees. He felt suffocated and restless. He needed something to calm his mind, and that only drew his attention to that brown piece of cloth. After months, Ruth's scent had faded away. But it still reminded him of how she smelled. It still had him anchored to the harbour of sanity, or else he would have been a lost ship in the ocean of confusion and hopelessness. He held that cloth near his heart while his gaze looked out at the dark sky. There were so many emotions in his heart yet he felt like it was dead inside his chest without his mate. ****** Oh, beautiful shooting star I am looking at you from far afar I am running to chase you with my bare hands But don't know the place where you land The more I watch, the more I need The more I run, the more you're ahead of me Oh, beautiful shooting star I wonder why you run so far There's a pain in my chest, Can you feel it? The darkness within me don't let me run free It is so close to my soul than we could ever be I am trying to fight back I am trying to run fast But I guess the belief is what I lack Oh, beautiful shooting star I wish I could follow your mark My hope is dying, my world is crumbling The terror of emptiness has me shattering My monsters are roaring and searching They're looking for the light that is keeping me alive Past mistakes are laughing at my face My insecurities crawling on the surface How much I wish you to be here And tell me there's nothing to fear The more I try, the more I cry The tired soul is what that sigh Oh, beautiful shooting star They don't know what a wonder you are My heart wants to hide you from the claws that want me to die Maybe we don't belong together After all, I'll be this lost case forever You are the light that I chase And I am the dark that you can't erase That is destiny, and all my tries are waste Oh, beautiful shooting star You look enchanting from afar Away from my monsters, away from my scars away from ME! ****** Edwin's vision turned blurry, and then only he realised that the leader of the werewolf had tears gathered in his eyes. He had not shaded a single tear when he got to know that he was a child without the love of his parents. He did not cry when his beloved grandfather passed away. He did not cry when he took attacks of his enemy on his chest. He did not cry when the feeling of loneliness jumped on his shoulders. He had never cried. Till now! But this one woman had him under her spell without even knowing it. He could not forget how her long silky toffee brown coloured hair danced on the wind. He had her twinkling hazel eyes that were full of life and hope imprinted in his mind. Her flowery scent was addicting more than anything he had experienced before. Her soft lips were intoxicating than any alcohol that he had consumed in his life. That beautiful angel was his. And yet, he could not have her. He could not put her in danger. She had become his life, and who could put their life at stake? He did not expect anything from the world. He did not care about anything. All his life he only had responsibilities towards others, duties towards his pack members, image to maintain for the world. Everything he had to was for others. But for the first time in decades, the Moon Goddess had sent something for him that he could call as his... only his. Finally, he had a shoulder to lean on, but he could not even touch her. Out of all the people, he expected Lester to understand him, but clearly, his expectations turned into a false hope. All he was left with was a brown piece of cloth and an image of an angel that was imprinted in his mind.
