Chapter 361: YOU ARE JUST IN DENIAL!
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Ruth was at Thea's home with the red velvet box of the earrings placed between them.
"Ruth you are not going to achieve anything with this silence. You have to think fast because in few hours, you will need to be there wearing these earrings to hear his answer." Thea said after ten minutes of silence.
Ruth shook her head in distress.
"Thea, you are not getting it. There are... there are hundreds of things running on my mind. I can not decide this in a minute. I am still trying to wrap up my head around what he has done and what he is expecting me to do." Ruth said while rubbing the corner of her head.
"Then let's address those hundreds of things one by one." Thea suggested.
Ruth nodded, although she was not sure how many things she could discuss with Thea. Her plan of revenge was definitely not one of them.
"Does this... this means... he... he l-likes me?" Asking that sounded very weird to Ruth at the same time, it made her tingle at places.
Thea gave her an incredulous look. "Of course, it means he likes you, idiot! He is practically going to propose to you. How can you not get this simple thing?"
Okay, now Ruth had an answer to her one question that kept bugging her all this time. Her face blushed in pink.
"But... why?"
"What do you mean by why? He likes you and that is as simple as that. What is so complicated in it?" Thea asked in confusion.
"Thea, for liking someone, you need to be around that person for some time to know what you like about them. What attracts you to that person? You need to have some similarities, a common ground... and we... we both are two worlds apart. We do not have any common ground."
Thea could sense how much bothered Ruth was because of her insecurities, and she did not blame her for that. Thea understood from the life Ruth came, it was natural for her to think in that way.
If only she understood what a mate bond was, then she might not have thought in that way.
"Okay, let me tell you a few things Ruth. I hide them from you because I thought that was necessary for both of you. And he insisted so. But now that you are standing at this point where you have to take a decision, I think it is time to tell you those things."
Ruth's heart began beating loudly in her ears. What was that Thea wanted to tell her.
"Ruth, Edwin O'Dell is a notorious womanizer, a rebel, a selfish and heartless man. And I am not denying any of it. But since you came here, have you ever noticed him with any other woman? And no, do not count his and Florence's hug. You also know that he did that out of politeness and nothing else."
Thea and Ruth had many discussions on this topic before.
Ruth tried thinking about any such time. But all she could come up with were the times he had been around her, touched her.
She was the only woman he had his eyes on!
"Ruth it was not only Rees who brought you back home the night you left harold Davies's office."
Ruth's body stiffened at his name. Their encounters and his lustful gazes made her skin crawl.
"Young Master was there, Ruth. He did not care about his security, he did not care about the restrictions his uncle had put on him when he got to know that you were in danger. He left everything and ran to get you.
Only Rees knows how much effort it took him to restrain young Master from killing those goons."
Ruth was stunned. Edwin carried her home? But Mrs Payne said Rees brought her home. So he was there for her, he always was!
"Do you remember the time when you thought someone was watching you, following you?"
Ruth found it hard to speak, so she only nodded her head.
"It was him Ruth!"
"What?" Ruth's hands shot to her mouth in shock.
"And before you get a wrong impression let me clarify to you that he had no vile intention okay? He was just... he just wanted to see you, make sure that you were safe. I did not know it at that time but then he himself confessed this after Rees complained about how it disturbed you."
Ruth was speechless. He was following her for days!
"That night, when Rees found you in the woods, it was him who told Rees to get you home safe. He was there Ruth.
He was always there... looking out for you, making sure that you face lesser hardships. He has been liking you for a long time Ruth, perhaps since he first saw you on the night of the celebrations.
Although he saw only your eyes, he lost his heart to you at that very moment. It just took him long to realise what feelings he has for you."
Ruth sat in silence for a minute. Thea did not know if it was the right time to tell her these things, but she was already feeling guilty for hiding much more from her best friend. Ruth deserved to know at least this much before she decided anything.
"Was it him who wanted me to work in 'the great manor'?" She asked then.
Thea took a long breath before nodding her head. "When he got to know how Mr Cooper threw you out and you did not have any means of earning, he was very disturbed. He could not see you working anywhere else. So..."
Now many things began making sense to Ruth.
"You all knew that he... he has feelings for me?"
Thea paused even stiffened at that question. Ruth's face did not give away anything.
"Yes! We all knew, including Mrs Payne."
Ruth was not expecting Thea to admit it all. Now that she had, she did not know how to react to that. Should she be angry with them?
"It was very obvious, Ruth. The way his eyes always searches for you, the way he cares for you, the way he treats you... it all makes it obvious that he had feelings for you since the beginning.
But you were so blinded by his past that you avoided looking at his present. He has changed a lot, Ruth. I am not trying to influence your decision. None of us wanted that, and that is why we did not mention any of it to you before.
But as much as we knew about his feelings, we were also sure of yours. You like him too. You are just in denial."
"Thea!"
"Yes, Ruth. You can lie to the whole world but what about your heart? Would you lie to it too?"
Ruth was very overwhelmed. Talking with Thea helped her realise many things. She had connected many dots. And that was why she was more confused than ever now.
If she accepted that suppressed feeling in her heart, then what? She felt guilty that she tried using Edwin for her revenge. She had no right of using him when all this time, all he did was care for her.
"What if... what if I will be left heartbroken at the end? What if it is all another game of his?" Ruth had tears in her eyes as she finally opened that far away pocket of her heart.
Thea took Ruth's hands in hers and began rubbing them soothingly.
"Ruth, I was going through the same dilemma once and you were there to help me out. If you think that Young Master is only trying to use you then tell me, has he ever touched you without your permission?"
-"Can I hold you, please?"- He had always asked her.
"Has he ever said anything offending to you?"
Ruth shook her head.
"Has he ever disrepected your honour, your values or anything that you hold dear to your heart?"
There came another round of shaking heads from Ruth.
"Trust me Ruth, that man has zero tolerancy to disrespect yet has he ever got mad at you for the things you said to him, the insults you have thrown his way?"
Ruth was silent. A lone tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.
"I am not saying that just because he cares and likes you means you also need to reciprocate his feelings. It does not work that way.
I am just saying that, stop refraining yourself from accepting the truth. He is not a perfect man Ruth. None of us is, yet he is trying to change, he is willing to do better only for you." Thea wiped Ruth's tears.
"I... I am scared, Thea. Even though I am willing to take his hand, there is this fear that is holding me back. Something about him frightens me. When I look at him, I feel like there is more... way more to him than he shows.
What if I do not like that more? What if he turns out to be a completely different person than what I think? And... will he... will he ever accept me in front of the whole world?"
Thea sighed. "Ruth, you only always say that expectations bring disappointment. If you have feelings for him, then at least give one chance to them... if not for him then for you.
You can not find answers to your every question, without giving your relationship a chance. If anything happens, at least you will not have any regrets that you did not dare at that time when you had an opportunity. Anything worse, at least you will be able to move on eventually."
Ruth was not completely convinced, but that night she left Thea's home with a conviction.
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Ruth was at Thea's home with the red velvet box of the earrings placed between them.
"Ruth you are not going to achieve anything with this silence. You have to think fast because in few hours, you will need to be there wearing these earrings to hear his answer." Thea said after ten minutes of silence.
Ruth shook her head in distress.
"Thea, you are not getting it. There are... there are hundreds of things running on my mind. I can not decide this in a minute. I am still trying to wrap up my head around what he has done and what he is expecting me to do." Ruth said while rubbing the corner of her head.
"Then let's address those hundreds of things one by one." Thea suggested.
Ruth nodded, although she was not sure how many things she could discuss with Thea. Her plan of revenge was definitely not one of them.
"Does this... this means... he... he l-likes me?" Asking that sounded very weird to Ruth at the same time, it made her tingle at places.
Thea gave her an incredulous look. "Of course, it means he likes you, idiot! He is practically going to propose to you. How can you not get this simple thing?"
Okay, now Ruth had an answer to her one question that kept bugging her all this time. Her face blushed in pink.
"But... why?"
"What do you mean by why? He likes you and that is as simple as that. What is so complicated in it?" Thea asked in confusion.
"Thea, for liking someone, you need to be around that person for some time to know what you like about them. What attracts you to that person? You need to have some similarities, a common ground... and we... we both are two worlds apart. We do not have any common ground."
Thea could sense how much bothered Ruth was because of her insecurities, and she did not blame her for that. Thea understood from the life Ruth came, it was natural for her to think in that way.
If only she understood what a mate bond was, then she might not have thought in that way.
"Okay, let me tell you a few things Ruth. I hide them from you because I thought that was necessary for both of you. And he insisted so. But now that you are standing at this point where you have to take a decision, I think it is time to tell you those things."
Ruth's heart began beating loudly in her ears. What was that Thea wanted to tell her.
"Ruth, Edwin O'Dell is a notorious womanizer, a rebel, a selfish and heartless man. And I am not denying any of it. But since you came here, have you ever noticed him with any other woman? And no, do not count his and Florence's hug. You also know that he did that out of politeness and nothing else."
Thea and Ruth had many discussions on this topic before.
Ruth tried thinking about any such time. But all she could come up with were the times he had been around her, touched her.
She was the only woman he had his eyes on!
"Ruth it was not only Rees who brought you back home the night you left harold Davies's office."
Ruth's body stiffened at his name. Their encounters and his lustful gazes made her skin crawl.
"Young Master was there, Ruth. He did not care about his security, he did not care about the restrictions his uncle had put on him when he got to know that you were in danger. He left everything and ran to get you.
Only Rees knows how much effort it took him to restrain young Master from killing those goons."
Ruth was stunned. Edwin carried her home? But Mrs Payne said Rees brought her home. So he was there for her, he always was!
"Do you remember the time when you thought someone was watching you, following you?"
Ruth found it hard to speak, so she only nodded her head.
"It was him Ruth!"
"What?" Ruth's hands shot to her mouth in shock.
"And before you get a wrong impression let me clarify to you that he had no vile intention okay? He was just... he just wanted to see you, make sure that you were safe. I did not know it at that time but then he himself confessed this after Rees complained about how it disturbed you."
Ruth was speechless. He was following her for days!
"That night, when Rees found you in the woods, it was him who told Rees to get you home safe. He was there Ruth.
He was always there... looking out for you, making sure that you face lesser hardships. He has been liking you for a long time Ruth, perhaps since he first saw you on the night of the celebrations.
Although he saw only your eyes, he lost his heart to you at that very moment. It just took him long to realise what feelings he has for you."
Ruth sat in silence for a minute. Thea did not know if it was the right time to tell her these things, but she was already feeling guilty for hiding much more from her best friend. Ruth deserved to know at least this much before she decided anything.
"Was it him who wanted me to work in 'the great manor'?" She asked then.
Thea took a long breath before nodding her head. "When he got to know how Mr Cooper threw you out and you did not have any means of earning, he was very disturbed. He could not see you working anywhere else. So..."
Now many things began making sense to Ruth.
"You all knew that he... he has feelings for me?"
Thea paused even stiffened at that question. Ruth's face did not give away anything.
"Yes! We all knew, including Mrs Payne."
Ruth was not expecting Thea to admit it all. Now that she had, she did not know how to react to that. Should she be angry with them?
"It was very obvious, Ruth. The way his eyes always searches for you, the way he cares for you, the way he treats you... it all makes it obvious that he had feelings for you since the beginning.
But you were so blinded by his past that you avoided looking at his present. He has changed a lot, Ruth. I am not trying to influence your decision. None of us wanted that, and that is why we did not mention any of it to you before.
But as much as we knew about his feelings, we were also sure of yours. You like him too. You are just in denial."
"Thea!"
"Yes, Ruth. You can lie to the whole world but what about your heart? Would you lie to it too?"
Ruth was very overwhelmed. Talking with Thea helped her realise many things. She had connected many dots. And that was why she was more confused than ever now.
If she accepted that suppressed feeling in her heart, then what? She felt guilty that she tried using Edwin for her revenge. She had no right of using him when all this time, all he did was care for her.
"What if... what if I will be left heartbroken at the end? What if it is all another game of his?" Ruth had tears in her eyes as she finally opened that far away pocket of her heart.
Thea took Ruth's hands in hers and began rubbing them soothingly.
"Ruth, I was going through the same dilemma once and you were there to help me out. If you think that Young Master is only trying to use you then tell me, has he ever touched you without your permission?"
-"Can I hold you, please?"- He had always asked her.
"Has he ever said anything offending to you?"
Ruth shook her head.
"Has he ever disrepected your honour, your values or anything that you hold dear to your heart?"
There came another round of shaking heads from Ruth.
"Trust me Ruth, that man has zero tolerancy to disrespect yet has he ever got mad at you for the things you said to him, the insults you have thrown his way?"
Ruth was silent. A lone tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.
"I am not saying that just because he cares and likes you means you also need to reciprocate his feelings. It does not work that way.
I am just saying that, stop refraining yourself from accepting the truth. He is not a perfect man Ruth. None of us is, yet he is trying to change, he is willing to do better only for you." Thea wiped Ruth's tears.
"I... I am scared, Thea. Even though I am willing to take his hand, there is this fear that is holding me back. Something about him frightens me. When I look at him, I feel like there is more... way more to him than he shows.
What if I do not like that more? What if he turns out to be a completely different person than what I think? And... will he... will he ever accept me in front of the whole world?"
Thea sighed. "Ruth, you only always say that expectations bring disappointment. If you have feelings for him, then at least give one chance to them... if not for him then for you.
You can not find answers to your every question, without giving your relationship a chance. If anything happens, at least you will not have any regrets that you did not dare at that time when you had an opportunity. Anything worse, at least you will be able to move on eventually."
Ruth was not completely convinced, but that night she left Thea's home with a conviction.
Ruth was at Thea's home with the red velvet box of the earrings placed between them. "Ruth you are not going to achieve anything with this silence. You have to think fast because in few hours, you will need to be there wearing these earrings to hear his answer." Thea said after ten minutes of silence. Ruth shook her head in distress. "Thea, you are not getting it. There are... there are hundreds of things running on my mind. I can not decide this in a minute. I am still trying to wrap up my head around what he has done and what he is expecting me to do." Ruth said while rubbing the corner of her head. "Then let's address those hundreds of things one by one." Thea suggested. Ruth nodded, although she was not sure how many things she could discuss with Thea. Her plan of revenge was definitely not one of them. "Does this... this means... he... he l-likes me?" Asking that sounded very weird to Ruth at the same time, it made her tingle at places. Thea gave her an incredulous look. "Of course, it means he likes you, idiot! He is practically going to propose to you. How can you not get this simple thing?" Okay, now Ruth had an answer to her one question that kept bugging her all this time. Her face blushed in pink. "But... why?" "What do you mean by why? He likes you and that is as simple as that. What is so complicated in it?" Thea asked in confusion. "Thea, for liking someone, you need to be around that person for some time to know what you like about them. What attracts you to that person? You need to have some similarities, a common ground... and we... we both are two worlds apart. We do not have any common ground." Thea could sense how much bothered Ruth was because of her insecurities, and she did not blame her for that. Thea understood from the life Ruth came, it was natural for her to think in that way. If only she understood what a mate bond was, then she might not have thought in that way. "Okay, let me tell you a few things Ruth. I hide them from you because I thought that was necessary for both of you. And he insisted so. But now that you are standing at this point where you have to take a decision, I think it is time to tell you those things." Ruth's heart began beating loudly in her ears. What was that Thea wanted to tell her. "Ruth, Edwin O'Dell is a notorious womanizer, a rebel, a selfish and heartless man. And I am not denying any of it. But since you came here, have you ever noticed him with any other woman? And no, do not count his and Florence's hug. You also know that he did that out of politeness and nothing else." Thea and Ruth had many discussions on this topic before. Ruth tried thinking about any such time. But all she could come up with were the times he had been around her, touched her. She was the only woman he had his eyes on! "Ruth it was not only Rees who brought you back home the night you left harold Davies's office." Ruth's body stiffened at his name. Their encounters and his lustful gazes made her skin crawl. "Young Master was there, Ruth. He did not care about his security, he did not care about the restrictions his uncle had put on him when he got to know that you were in danger. He left everything and ran to get you. Only Rees knows how much effort it took him to restrain young Master from killing those goons." Ruth was stunned. Edwin carried her home? But Mrs Payne said Rees brought her home. So he was there for her, he always was! "Do you remember the time when you thought someone was watching you, following you?" Ruth found it hard to speak, so she only nodded her head. "It was him Ruth!" "What?" Ruth's hands shot to her mouth in shock. "And before you get a wrong impression let me clarify to you that he had no vile intention okay? He was just... he just wanted to see you, make sure that you were safe. I did not know it at that time but then he himself confessed this after Rees complained about how it disturbed you." Ruth was speechless. He was following her for days! "That night, when Rees found you in the woods, it was him who told Rees to get you home safe. He was there Ruth. He was always there... looking out for you, making sure that you face lesser hardships. He has been liking you for a long time Ruth, perhaps since he first saw you on the night of the celebrations. Although he saw only your eyes, he lost his heart to you at that very moment. It just took him long to realise what feelings he has for you." Ruth sat in silence for a minute. Thea did not know if it was the right time to tell her these things, but she was already feeling guilty for hiding much more from her best friend. Ruth deserved to know at least this much before she decided anything. "Was it him who wanted me to work in 'the great manor'?" She asked then. Thea took a long breath before nodding her head. "When he got to know how Mr Cooper threw you out and you did not have any means of earning, he was very disturbed. He could not see you working anywhere else. So..." Now many things began making sense to Ruth. "You all knew that he... he has feelings for me?" Thea paused even stiffened at that question. Ruth's face did not give away anything. "Yes! We all knew, including Mrs Payne." Ruth was not expecting Thea to admit it all. Now that she had, she did not know how to react to that. Should she be angry with them? "It was very obvious, Ruth. The way his eyes always searches for you, the way he cares for you, the way he treats you... it all makes it obvious that he had feelings for you since the beginning. But you were so blinded by his past that you avoided looking at his present. He has changed a lot, Ruth. I am not trying to influence your decision. None of us wanted that, and that is why we did not mention any of it to you before. But as much as we knew about his feelings, we were also sure of yours. You like him too. You are just in denial." "Thea!" "Yes, Ruth. You can lie to the whole world but what about your heart? Would you lie to it too?" Ruth was very overwhelmed. Talking with Thea helped her realise many things. She had connected many dots. And that was why she was more confused than ever now. If she accepted that suppressed feeling in her heart, then what? She felt guilty that she tried using Edwin for her revenge. She had no right of using him when all this time, all he did was care for her. "What if... what if I will be left heartbroken at the end? What if it is all another game of his?" Ruth had tears in her eyes as she finally opened that far away pocket of her heart. Thea took Ruth's hands in hers and began rubbing them soothingly. "Ruth, I was going through the same dilemma once and you were there to help me out. If you think that Young Master is only trying to use you then tell me, has he ever touched you without your permission?" -"Can I hold you, please?"- He had always asked her. "Has he ever said anything offending to you?" Ruth shook her head. "Has he ever disrepected your honour, your values or anything that you hold dear to your heart?" There came another round of shaking heads from Ruth. "Trust me Ruth, that man has zero tolerancy to disrespect yet has he ever got mad at you for the things you said to him, the insults you have thrown his way?" Ruth was silent. A lone tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek. "I am not saying that just because he cares and likes you means you also need to reciprocate his feelings. It does not work that way. I am just saying that, stop refraining yourself from accepting the truth. He is not a perfect man Ruth. None of us is, yet he is trying to change, he is willing to do better only for you." Thea wiped Ruth's tears. "I... I am scared, Thea. Even though I am willing to take his hand, there is this fear that is holding me back. Something about him frightens me. When I look at him, I feel like there is more... way more to him than he shows. What if I do not like that more? What if he turns out to be a completely different person than what I think? And... will he... will he ever accept me in front of the whole world?" Thea sighed. "Ruth, you only always say that expectations bring disappointment. If you have feelings for him, then at least give one chance to them... if not for him then for you. You can not find answers to your every question, without giving your relationship a chance. If anything happens, at least you will not have any regrets that you did not dare at that time when you had an opportunity. Anything worse, at least you will be able to move on eventually." Ruth was not completely convinced, but that night she left Thea's home with a conviction.
