Chapter 66: ABSURD QUESTION
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Ruth went to Florence's house to give her the oranges that she had bought the previous day as a thankful gesture. When she said that she would answer truthfully to whatever the question Florence wanted to ask, she had no idea that it would put her in a difficult position.
"Tell me, Ruth. What is that I lack in me as a woman?"
Ruth was confused at her question. 'Why would she ask something abrupt like this?' she thought.
She kept avoiding Florence's piercing gaze as she knew that no matter how subtle her words would be, her eyes would give her away.
"Why such an absurd question suddenly?" Ruth asked slowly.
But Florence was adamant about getting an answer from the woman in front of her, who was fidgeting uncomfortably the whole time.
"I want the answer!" Her voice was hard that made Ruth more nervous.
She was scolding herself mentally for choosing the wrong timing to come here. But how would have she known about Florence's sour mood?
Poor woman just wanted to share her happiness and that got her stuck in here.
Pondering for a few seconds, Ruth said, "You are a good woman."
But that reply didn't satisfy Florence. She narrowed her eyes at Ruth as if telling her elaborate her answer.
Picking up on the hint Ruth began, "You are a beautiful and independent woman. You are not afraid to speak up your mind and I wish to have that trait in me someday. People might think of you as a harsh person because of your tough exterior but I have experienced your kindness and I admire you for that." She told truthfully.
A part of her wished that Florence would get satisfied with the answer and it must be the same thing that she wanted to listen to.
Florence gave a long look to Ruth, waiting for her face to give away something but failed. Ruth had answered truthfully and hence didn't cowered under Florence's scrutinising eyes.
"That's it?"
'Was there something I had to say?' This was not the time to think about it now. The words had left her mouth and she couldn't call them back.
Ruth nodded her head in yes.
"Then why can't I get what I want? Why I can't be happy for once, Ruth? Why?" Her voice broke at the end and a loud sob escaped her full lips. Her shoulders shook as warm tears shed from her hazel brown eyes.
Ruth was torn watching her broken. She wanted to wrap the shawl of care around Florence to save her from the cold winds of a melancholy but didn't know how and if she was allowed to do so.
She slid towards Florence and hesitantly touched her shoulder. That touch startled Florence at first, but the warmth that the touch brought with it broke all her dams and she sought refuge in Ruth's embrace.
She cried her eyes out not caring that she was showing her vulnerable side to someone for the first time in years. Ruth didn't mind as Florence's tears soaked her dress as she kept rubbing her hand up and down on Florence's back.
'If only I had someone to take care of me like this!', but Ruth was going to do the exact for Florence.
She knew how it felt to be alone and weep in your misery. She knew how it felt when you don't have anyone to tell you that it was fine or they are there for you. She knew it all well!
Giving some moments to calm down Florence, Ruth didn't disturb the silence that prevailed in the room. She didn't want to rush her in telling everything. She first wanted Florence to trust her.
"I-I am s-sorry! I must be l-looking aweful now?!" Florence backed away while wiping her tears with both of her hands. She avoided meeting Ruth's eyes.
"No. You don't." Ruth replied calmly that made Florence snapped her eyes at her.
"I... don't?"
Ruth gave a small smile and shook her head. "No. You don't. Crying is not always a sign of weakness, Florence. It shows that you are as humane as others and that you have feelings too."
Florence chuckled darkly at that statement. "Hedge creepers like me are not human. We are just toys that men play with and then discard when they get bored or find a more interesting one.
We don't have feelings, Ruth. The day we decide to choose this path, we eradicate those things from our heart turning it into a cold, hard stone!"
Every word that Florence said pierced Ruth's soft heart and she thought how much she was ignorant about the world and its dirty ways. She had never thought about this before. She had never paid attention to the perspective of a courtesan.
'Everyone has their reasons for their actions.' Her mother used to tell that her.
"You shouldn't say such things, Florence. I know what people think about the women who choose this path and I, myself don't agree with it. But I also understand from where you came.
It must be hard for you too. No one wants a life of suffering and choosing a way to get out of it might differ from person to person." Ruth tried to reason.
A cold smile appeared on Florence's face and her eyes softened a bit. "People are right when they say that you are a kind and innocent woman. I have always envied you for that. I wish I was just the same then maybe..." She trailed off as tears again welled up in her reddened eyes.
"Would you like to tell me what happened?" Ruth asked.
Florence wouldn't have said any of that if she was in all her senses but the last night's alcohol still had its effect on her judgement.
After a minute Florence opened her heart in front of Ruth.
"Do you remember I told you that I was having a guest for the dinner when I helped you with your landlord?"
"Yes."
Ruth recalled how excited and in hurry, Florence was to prepare the dinner for her guest. But when she met her in the night she had not seen anyone in Florence's house. Instead, Florence was walking in the corridor and even asked Ruth to accompany her for a walk.
"That guest... he didn't come that night. Then I g-got his message that he wanted to m-meet me and asked me to go to our usual p-place."
"Usual place?" Ruth blurted out in confusion.
"Where we meet every time and-"
"Yes. I got it now." Ruth didn't want to know what they did at that place.
"I waited for him for three days. But he didn't come, Ruth. He didn't. He just sent a letter on the fourth-morning telling, I should go back and he couldn't manage to visit me."
Florence looked at Ruth's wide-eyed face through her teary eyes.
"He didn't even give me a reason nor he used my name or not a single apology. He just didn't care. He always does this to me. Once I was the only medicine for his pain and now... I am nothing!" She yelled through her sobs.
Ruth bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing what to do. So she asked the first thing that came into her mind.
"Do you... do you l-love him?"
*
*
*
"Master!" Rees was in Edwin's office early in the morning.
Fannie, Theodora's personal maid, was already in the office with a cup of tea for Edwin. Rees was confused to see her there because she was assigned to serve Theodora and not Edwin.
But Edwin didn't care about that. He didn't care that Fannie had snatched the tray from the other maid's hand who was on her way to serve Edwin.
How could she lose a chance to come near him?
But Rees's unannounced arrival had spoiled her mood.
"What is it, Rees?" Edwin asked while glancing up at him lazily. Rees didn't answer and kept standing there with a void face.
Edwin knew everything about his most trusted man and was quick to guess the reason for his silence. "You may go now."
Edwin ordered while sipping on the hot tea with a cold voice.
In an attempt to buy some time, Fannie asked, "Do you need anything else, Young Master? I will-"
"I said get the hell out of my office!" Thundered Edwin's voice that startled the young maid. Her heart jumped out of her chest for she was not expecting such a rude reaction from Edwin. At least not after what they shared more than a month ago.
"But-"
"If you don't disappear from my sight at this very moment then I will chop your limbs to feed my dogs."
Edwin's brutally haunting voice sent chills down her spine. Without wasting any more time she dashed out of the office but not before throwing daggers at Rees with her hate-filled eyes.
The way she closed the door of Edwin's office loudly made him clench his fist. 'Someone needs to learn a good lesson it seems..' The veins in his hands popped up to show their prominent existence.
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Ruth went to Florence's house to give her the oranges that she had bought the previous day as a thankful gesture. When she said that she would answer truthfully to whatever the question Florence wanted to ask, she had no idea that it would put her in a difficult position.
"Tell me, Ruth. What is that I lack in me as a woman?"
Ruth was confused at her question. 'Why would she ask something abrupt like this?' she thought.
She kept avoiding Florence's piercing gaze as she knew that no matter how subtle her words would be, her eyes would give her away.
"Why such an absurd question suddenly?" Ruth asked slowly.
But Florence was adamant about getting an answer from the woman in front of her, who was fidgeting uncomfortably the whole time.
"I want the answer!" Her voice was hard that made Ruth more nervous.
She was scolding herself mentally for choosing the wrong timing to come here. But how would have she known about Florence's sour mood?
Poor woman just wanted to share her happiness and that got her stuck in here.
Pondering for a few seconds, Ruth said, "You are a good woman."
But that reply didn't satisfy Florence. She narrowed her eyes at Ruth as if telling her elaborate her answer.
Picking up on the hint Ruth began, "You are a beautiful and independent woman. You are not afraid to speak up your mind and I wish to have that trait in me someday. People might think of you as a harsh person because of your tough exterior but I have experienced your kindness and I admire you for that." She told truthfully.
A part of her wished that Florence would get satisfied with the answer and it must be the same thing that she wanted to listen to.
Florence gave a long look to Ruth, waiting for her face to give away something but failed. Ruth had answered truthfully and hence didn't cowered under Florence's scrutinising eyes.
"That's it?"
'Was there something I had to say?' This was not the time to think about it now. The words had left her mouth and she couldn't call them back.
Ruth nodded her head in yes.
"Then why can't I get what I want? Why I can't be happy for once, Ruth? Why?" Her voice broke at the end and a loud sob escaped her full lips. Her shoulders shook as warm tears shed from her hazel brown eyes.
Ruth was torn watching her broken. She wanted to wrap the shawl of care around Florence to save her from the cold winds of a melancholy but didn't know how and if she was allowed to do so.
She slid towards Florence and hesitantly touched her shoulder. That touch startled Florence at first, but the warmth that the touch brought with it broke all her dams and she sought refuge in Ruth's embrace.
She cried her eyes out not caring that she was showing her vulnerable side to someone for the first time in years. Ruth didn't mind as Florence's tears soaked her dress as she kept rubbing her hand up and down on Florence's back.
'If only I had someone to take care of me like this!', but Ruth was going to do the exact for Florence.
She knew how it felt to be alone and weep in your misery. She knew how it felt when you don't have anyone to tell you that it was fine or they are there for you. She knew it all well!
Giving some moments to calm down Florence, Ruth didn't disturb the silence that prevailed in the room. She didn't want to rush her in telling everything. She first wanted Florence to trust her.
"I-I am s-sorry! I must be l-looking aweful now?!" Florence backed away while wiping her tears with both of her hands. She avoided meeting Ruth's eyes.
"No. You don't." Ruth replied calmly that made Florence snapped her eyes at her.
"I... don't?"
Ruth gave a small smile and shook her head. "No. You don't. Crying is not always a sign of weakness, Florence. It shows that you are as humane as others and that you have feelings too."
Florence chuckled darkly at that statement. "Hedge creepers like me are not human. We are just toys that men play with and then discard when they get bored or find a more interesting one.
We don't have feelings, Ruth. The day we decide to choose this path, we eradicate those things from our heart turning it into a cold, hard stone!"
Every word that Florence said pierced Ruth's soft heart and she thought how much she was ignorant about the world and its dirty ways. She had never thought about this before. She had never paid attention to the perspective of a courtesan.
'Everyone has their reasons for their actions.' Her mother used to tell that her.
"You shouldn't say such things, Florence. I know what people think about the women who choose this path and I, myself don't agree with it. But I also understand from where you came.
It must be hard for you too. No one wants a life of suffering and choosing a way to get out of it might differ from person to person." Ruth tried to reason.
A cold smile appeared on Florence's face and her eyes softened a bit. "People are right when they say that you are a kind and innocent woman. I have always envied you for that. I wish I was just the same then maybe..." She trailed off as tears again welled up in her reddened eyes.
"Would you like to tell me what happened?" Ruth asked.
Florence wouldn't have said any of that if she was in all her senses but the last night's alcohol still had its effect on her judgement.
After a minute Florence opened her heart in front of Ruth.
"Do you remember I told you that I was having a guest for the dinner when I helped you with your landlord?"
"Yes."
Ruth recalled how excited and in hurry, Florence was to prepare the dinner for her guest. But when she met her in the night she had not seen anyone in Florence's house. Instead, Florence was walking in the corridor and even asked Ruth to accompany her for a walk.
"That guest... he didn't come that night. Then I g-got his message that he wanted to m-meet me and asked me to go to our usual p-place."
"Usual place?" Ruth blurted out in confusion.
"Where we meet every time and-"
"Yes. I got it now." Ruth didn't want to know what they did at that place.
"I waited for him for three days. But he didn't come, Ruth. He didn't. He just sent a letter on the fourth-morning telling, I should go back and he couldn't manage to visit me."
Florence looked at Ruth's wide-eyed face through her teary eyes.
"He didn't even give me a reason nor he used my name or not a single apology. He just didn't care. He always does this to me. Once I was the only medicine for his pain and now... I am nothing!" She yelled through her sobs.
Ruth bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing what to do. So she asked the first thing that came into her mind.
"Do you... do you l-love him?"
*
*
*
"Master!" Rees was in Edwin's office early in the morning.
Fannie, Theodora's personal maid, was already in the office with a cup of tea for Edwin. Rees was confused to see her there because she was assigned to serve Theodora and not Edwin.
But Edwin didn't care about that. He didn't care that Fannie had snatched the tray from the other maid's hand who was on her way to serve Edwin.
How could she lose a chance to come near him?
But Rees's unannounced arrival had spoiled her mood.
"What is it, Rees?" Edwin asked while glancing up at him lazily. Rees didn't answer and kept standing there with a void face.
Edwin knew everything about his most trusted man and was quick to guess the reason for his silence. "You may go now."
Edwin ordered while sipping on the hot tea with a cold voice.
In an attempt to buy some time, Fannie asked, "Do you need anything else, Young Master? I will-"
"I said get the hell out of my office!" Thundered Edwin's voice that startled the young maid. Her heart jumped out of her chest for she was not expecting such a rude reaction from Edwin. At least not after what they shared more than a month ago.
"But-"
"If you don't disappear from my sight at this very moment then I will chop your limbs to feed my dogs."
Edwin's brutally haunting voice sent chills down her spine. Without wasting any more time she dashed out of the office but not before throwing daggers at Rees with her hate-filled eyes.
The way she closed the door of Edwin's office loudly made him clench his fist. 'Someone needs to learn a good lesson it seems..' The veins in his hands popped up to show their prominent existence.
Ruth went to Florence's house to give her the oranges that she had bought the previous day as a thankful gesture. When she said that she would answer truthfully to whatever the question Florence wanted to ask, she had no idea that it would put her in a difficult position. "Tell me, Ruth. What is that I lack in me as a woman?" Ruth was confused at her question. 'Why would she ask something abrupt like this?' she thought. She kept avoiding Florence's piercing gaze as she knew that no matter how subtle her words would be, her eyes would give her away. "Why such an absurd question suddenly?" Ruth asked slowly. But Florence was adamant about getting an answer from the woman in front of her, who was fidgeting uncomfortably the whole time. "I want the answer!" Her voice was hard that made Ruth more nervous. She was scolding herself mentally for choosing the wrong timing to come here. But how would have she known about Florence's sour mood? Poor woman just wanted to share her happiness and that got her stuck in here. Pondering for a few seconds, Ruth said, "You are a good woman." But that reply didn't satisfy Florence. She narrowed her eyes at Ruth as if telling her elaborate her answer. Picking up on the hint Ruth began, "You are a beautiful and independent woman. You are not afraid to speak up your mind and I wish to have that trait in me someday. People might think of you as a harsh person because of your tough exterior but I have experienced your kindness and I admire you for that." She told truthfully. A part of her wished that Florence would get satisfied with the answer and it must be the same thing that she wanted to listen to. Florence gave a long look to Ruth, waiting for her face to give away something but failed. Ruth had answered truthfully and hence didn't cowered under Florence's scrutinising eyes. "That's it?" 'Was there something I had to say?' This was not the time to think about it now. The words had left her mouth and she couldn't call them back. Ruth nodded her head in yes. "Then why can't I get what I want? Why I can't be happy for once, Ruth? Why?" Her voice broke at the end and a loud sob escaped her full lips. Her shoulders shook as warm tears shed from her hazel brown eyes. Ruth was torn watching her broken. She wanted to wrap the shawl of care around Florence to save her from the cold winds of a melancholy but didn't know how and if she was allowed to do so. She slid towards Florence and hesitantly touched her shoulder. That touch startled Florence at first, but the warmth that the touch brought with it broke all her dams and she sought refuge in Ruth's embrace. She cried her eyes out not caring that she was showing her vulnerable side to someone for the first time in years. Ruth didn't mind as Florence's tears soaked her dress as she kept rubbing her hand up and down on Florence's back. 'If only I had someone to take care of me like this!', but Ruth was going to do the exact for Florence. She knew how it felt to be alone and weep in your misery. She knew how it felt when you don't have anyone to tell you that it was fine or they are there for you. She knew it all well! Giving some moments to calm down Florence, Ruth didn't disturb the silence that prevailed in the room. She didn't want to rush her in telling everything. She first wanted Florence to trust her. "I-I am s-sorry! I must be l-looking aweful now?!" Florence backed away while wiping her tears with both of her hands. She avoided meeting Ruth's eyes. "No. You don't." Ruth replied calmly that made Florence snapped her eyes at her. "I... don't?" Ruth gave a small smile and shook her head. "No. You don't. Crying is not always a sign of weakness, Florence. It shows that you are as humane as others and that you have feelings too." Florence chuckled darkly at that statement. "Hedge creepers like me are not human. We are just toys that men play with and then discard when they get bored or find a more interesting one. We don't have feelings, Ruth. The day we decide to choose this path, we eradicate those things from our heart turning it into a cold, hard stone!" Every word that Florence said pierced Ruth's soft heart and she thought how much she was ignorant about the world and its dirty ways. She had never thought about this before. She had never paid attention to the perspective of a courtesan. 'Everyone has their reasons for their actions.' Her mother used to tell that her. "You shouldn't say such things, Florence. I know what people think about the women who choose this path and I, myself don't agree with it. But I also understand from where you came. It must be hard for you too. No one wants a life of suffering and choosing a way to get out of it might differ from person to person." Ruth tried to reason. A cold smile appeared on Florence's face and her eyes softened a bit. "People are right when they say that you are a kind and innocent woman. I have always envied you for that. I wish I was just the same then maybe..." She trailed off as tears again welled up in her reddened eyes. "Would you like to tell me what happened?" Ruth asked. Florence wouldn't have said any of that if she was in all her senses but the last night's alcohol still had its effect on her judgement. After a minute Florence opened her heart in front of Ruth. "Do you remember I told you that I was having a guest for the dinner when I helped you with your landlord?" "Yes." Ruth recalled how excited and in hurry, Florence was to prepare the dinner for her guest. But when she met her in the night she had not seen anyone in Florence's house. Instead, Florence was walking in the corridor and even asked Ruth to accompany her for a walk. "That guest... he didn't come that night. Then I g-got his message that he wanted to m-meet me and asked me to go to our usual p-place." "Usual place?" Ruth blurted out in confusion. "Where we meet every time and-" "Yes. I got it now." Ruth didn't want to know what they did at that place. "I waited for him for three days. But he didn't come, Ruth. He didn't. He just sent a letter on the fourth-morning telling, I should go back and he couldn't manage to visit me." Florence looked at Ruth's wide-eyed face through her teary eyes. "He didn't even give me a reason nor he used my name or not a single apology. He just didn't care. He always does this to me. Once I was the only medicine for his pain and now... I am nothing!" She yelled through her sobs. Ruth bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing what to do. So she asked the first thing that came into her mind. "Do you... do you l-love him?" * * * "Master!" Rees was in Edwin's office early in the morning. Fannie, Theodora's personal maid, was already in the office with a cup of tea for Edwin. Rees was confused to see her there because she was assigned to serve Theodora and not Edwin. But Edwin didn't care about that. He didn't care that Fannie had snatched the tray from the other maid's hand who was on her way to serve Edwin. How could she lose a chance to come near him? But Rees's unannounced arrival had spoiled her mood. "What is it, Rees?" Edwin asked while glancing up at him lazily. Rees didn't answer and kept standing there with a void face. Edwin knew everything about his most trusted man and was quick to guess the reason for his silence. "You may go now." Edwin ordered while sipping on the hot tea with a cold voice. In an attempt to buy some time, Fannie asked, "Do you need anything else, Young Master? I will-" "I said get the hell out of my office!" Thundered Edwin's voice that startled the young maid. Her heart jumped out of her chest for she was not expecting such a rude reaction from Edwin. At least not after what they shared more than a month ago. "But-" "If you don't disappear from my sight at this very moment then I will chop your limbs to feed my dogs." Edwin's brutally haunting voice sent chills down her spine. Without wasting any more time she dashed out of the office but not before throwing daggers at Rees with her hate-filled eyes. The way she closed the door of Edwin's office loudly made him clench his fist. 'Someone needs to learn a good lesson it seems..' The veins in his hands popped up to show their prominent existence.
