"You want me to teach you law manipulation every night? That's going to cost you, A LOT."
Brother Jin Tuyi, or Qian Yun, or whoever the fuck it was on the other side of the tunnel didn’t disappoint Han Xuhan. What he had feared was an outright rejection. But the mention of a price meant that wouldn’t happen.
"Name your price!" Xuhan coolly replied, his heart in ecstasy. "Whatever it is, I'll reduce it to one-third of that."
"...Fifty thousand spirit stones."
"Best I can do is five hundred."
"....One-third of fifty thousand is just a few stones short of seventeen thousand," Brother BB answered hesitantly.
"Oh, I know that!" Xuhan enthusiastically retorted.
"Five hundred is way too low a price for something as precious as our law manipulation techniques. Even a single manual that deals with only one type of law is worth more than ten times that amount."
"Yes, but I'm not going to buy the manual from you. So the only transaction between us is going to be the fee for the lessons."
"Are you an idiot? How are you going to learn the technique without buying the manual? I'm not letting you take a peek at it for free." Brother BB sounded fed up with his playfulness, something that greatly saddened Xuhan. There were few others whom he could mess around with without worrying about the consequences.
"Because I have already gotten a cultivation manual on law manipulation. I don’t need to buy one from you. Hell, I doubt you would actually sell me the real thing anyway. Last time we had an 'honest' transaction, you tried to screw me over permanently with that shitty artificial cultivation technique."
Han Xuhan decided to play it aggressively, observing the other party's change in attitude in parallel to his own.
Would a guilt trip work on this guy? The answer would play a great role in their future exchanges, maybe going as far as directing their partnership someday. He had been throwing out these sorts of mental tests at the man every time they met in the realm of laws. It mattered not whether the other party realized his intentions or not, his reaction to the baits would be enough for Xuhan to decide his next course of action.
Brother BB's reaction to the news was quite lively.
"Already got a cultivation manual on law manipulation? How? Where did you get it from? Who sold it to you?"
The agitation in his voice did not seem fake. The evasive maneuver was real enough, though. Suddenly feeling rather powerful, Han Xuhan snickered creepily, producing a sound that he had only read about in xianxia novels.
"Jiejiejiejiejie! I found it in one of the old chamber pots you dumped in my backyard last week."
"...."
"Jiejiejiejiejie! Do you regret your little pranks now?"
"Why...why exactly were you going through the 'contents' of those used chamber pots, brother Xuhan?" Brother BB asked, his tone quite doubtful.
"...."
"Go on! Make the fucking retarded sound again! Did you think I'll buy that bullshit? Where did you get it from? Answer honestly!" Brother BB gradually started yelling angrily from the other side of the tunnel. But Han Xuhan had no regrets. That guy had really believed him for a second there. The burn he had gotten in return was well worth the satisfaction.
"Oh well, that's too bad. The truth is I got the manual from this shady-looking thief. He said his name is Fang Xie. I don't think that's his real name, but that's all I got for you, fellow cultivator. Now, about our transaction, since we agreed that four hundred spirit stones are more than enough for your guidance-"
"Fang Xie? There is nobody with that name in the records of our holy land- wait a damn minute, four hundred spirit stones? DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE, HAN XUHAN!"
"Ooooh, scary! If I had a body here, I might have pissed myself and the piss would've reached your side of the tunnel because of my enhanced physique. The force behind a sixth-layer cultivator's piss is nothing to laugh at. So be careful with that tone, fellow cultivator Yun!"
Han Xuhan felt great. Brother BB was much like his favorite video game on earth. These interactions where he could let his oral cannon loose truly calmed his nerves after a long day.
"...You know what? Fuck you, Xuhan. I've got enough on my plate as it is. I don't need your constant unfunny fuckery twice a week. Just transfer the new resource load and get the hell out of my sight."
"This is going to get progressively worse and worse if you don't agree to the deal, brother Yun. Think you can handle what's coming? I shall devote a few hours of my day regularly just to come up with shittier forms of conduct every time we meet."
Had his form in the realm of laws been a physical body, Han Xuhan would have spread his hands in a grandiose fashion and spoken in his heaviest tone. But alas, such wet dreams never come true. Reality is often disappointing.
A long bout of silence stretched between them as his words reverberated through the tunnel. Han Xuhan was not nervous, however. He would force this deal on the other party one way or the other. His personal safety was in line here, after all.
"Fine. Show me the fucking manual first. First I need to see if I'm qualified to teach whichever type of law manipulation technique you've gotten from this thief called Fang Xie. And more importantly, I need to test its authenticity."
Resignation rang in Brother BB's tone. Han Xuhan snickered creepily once more.
Promising to send a copy of the manual the next time they have an exchange of resources (because Xuhan hadn't memorized the manual, just as usual), he left the realm of laws.
The night was at its darkest, he realized after a look outside. The mountains were asleep with their inhabitants. Tomorrow was a big day. Everyone wanted to get ample rest.
Snuffing out the lungs-cleansing candles (scented), Xuhan laid down on his bed and drifted off to sleep easily, the mental labor of the day having taken its toll.
"Oi, Xuhan! Oi, get up!"
Alarmed, Han Xuhan opened his eyes and was greeted by Mu Ran's excited face. The young man stood a few feet away from his bed, a large bucket sticking out from his back. Xuhan's senses told him the content of the bucket was a pile of extremely pure, powdered qi.
With a start, he realized that the sky had brightened, rays of sunlight had invaded his hut through the windows as well as the wide-open door.
How did this guy get in? Goosebumps appeared on Xuhan's back. This type of incidents was most common in rom-com novels. The retarded, creepy male lead would mysteriously gain the power to get past any door as long as the love interest was on the other side....
"Honestly underling, your home security is kind of crap. How can I let you safeguard anything precious if even a basic telekinetic technique can unlock everything inside your home?" Brightly, Mu Ran reprimanded Xuhan, seemingly brimming with excitement for the event today.
The chilling feeling in his bones disappeared as Xuhan realized that Mu Ran hadn't gained the ability to unlock his door by becoming a template male lead from those retarded romance plots induced by some writer's repressed fantasies.
"Come, come, COME! We gotta hurry up. Wash your face, and maybe try cleaning your teeth with some ash and salt. Gotta make ourselves presentable!"
Briefly, Xuhan fell into a spiral of doubt trying to reevaluate their relationship as boss and subordinate. Had the roles changed somehow?Since when had Mu Ran become so punctual?
"Aiya~ all those foreign jade beauties, I must be at my most dashing self...."
Mu Ran's dreamy, lecherous expression brought him back from his doubts. Thankfully, this guy was just eager for his future harem members.
"I'm on it, boss!" Xuhan dutifully leaped up and got to work, just as expected of a proper wingman.
Half an hour later, both of them reached their master's residence on the top of the mountain and then got yelled at by a distraught Kong Ye.
"WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T RE-EXAMINED THE ENTIRE BODY OF FORMATIONS YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF ?! GO DO IT NOW !"
Almost sent flying by the intensity of the shouts, the duo ran back to their own huts and started doing what they were told.
Han Xuhan was done after ten minutes. It wasn't because of his proficiency, but due to the fact that he hadn't really designed much of the formations. Mu Ran had filled in for him.
Not wanting to face Kong Ye right at the moment, Han Xuhan went to visit his other martial siblings.
"Brother Wu, this mountain peak felt your absence far too strongly the last couple weeks! Have you finished preparing for whatever you're planning to pull in the tournament?"
"Huh? Who said that? Who said I was preparing to pull something in the tournament?"
Xiao Wu looked like a deer in the headlight, his overly strong reaction giving away too much information. Xuhan's predatory persona perked up smelling something very delicious.
"You just messed up the formation you were attending to, brother Wu," he pointed out, watching Xiao Wu fumble with qi and try to reformat the design.
"Did you finish up re-examining your own formations already?" Xiao Wu asked in a frustrated tone.
"Oh yes, I did. It took like ten minutes." Han Xuhan didn't explain that it took him such a short time only because he hadn't really laid many formations.
"...."
Leaving behind an increasingly gloomy Xiao Wu, Xuhan went to visit Yuen Zhou with a swagger in his steps.
But as soon as he got near her home, he was forced to stop approaching further. Her home was surrounded by a bunch of flying swords....and as interesting as their aerial movement seemed to Xuhan, the swords did not look friendly.
"Sister Zhou! Are you in there?" He shouted while retreating as far as possible.
No one answered his call. What was this lass up to right before such an important event? A last-minute attempt at a breakthrough?
She was planting formations just yesterday. Did she gain enlightenment from bending over all day long designing them?
Han Xuhan felt lonely.
"You want me to teach you law manipulation every night? That's going to cost you, A LOT."
Brother Jin Tuyi, or Qian Yun, or whoever the fuck it was on the other side of the tunnel didn’t disappoint Han Xuhan. What he had feared was an outright rejection. But the mention of a price meant that wouldn’t happen.
"Name your price!" Xuhan coolly replied, his heart in ecstasy. "Whatever it is, I'll reduce it to one-third of that."
"...Fifty thousand spirit stones."
"Best I can do is five hundred."
"....One-third of fifty thousand is just a few stones short of seventeen thousand," Brother BB answered hesitantly.
"Oh, I know that!" Xuhan enthusiastically retorted.
"Five hundred is way too low a price for something as precious as our law manipulation techniques. Even a single manual that deals with only one type of law is worth more than ten times that amount."
"Yes, but I'm not going to buy the manual from you. So the only transaction between us is going to be the fee for the lessons."
"Are you an idiot? How are you going to learn the technique without buying the manual? I'm not letting you take a peek at it for free." Brother BB sounded fed up with his playfulness, something that greatly saddened Xuhan. There were few others whom he could mess around with without worrying about the consequences.
"Because I have already gotten a cultivation manual on law manipulation. I don’t need to buy one from you. Hell, I doubt you would actually sell me the real thing anyway. Last time we had an 'honest' transaction, you tried to screw me over permanently with that shitty artificial cultivation technique."
Han Xuhan decided to play it aggressively, observing the other party's change in attitude in parallel to his own.
Would a guilt trip work on this guy? The answer would play a great role in their future exchanges, maybe going as far as directing their partnership someday. He had been throwing out these sorts of mental tests at the man every time they met in the realm of laws. It mattered not whether the other party realized his intentions or not, his reaction to the baits would be enough for Xuhan to decide his next course of action.
Brother BB's reaction to the news was quite lively.
"Already got a cultivation manual on law manipulation? How? Where did you get it from? Who sold it to you?"
The agitation in his voice did not seem fake. The evasive maneuver was real enough, though. Suddenly feeling rather powerful, Han Xuhan snickered creepily, producing a sound that he had only read about in xianxia novels.
"Jiejiejiejiejie! I found it in one of the old chamber pots you dumped in my backyard last week."
"...."
"Jiejiejiejiejie! Do you regret your little pranks now?"
"Why...why exactly were you going through the 'contents' of those used chamber pots, brother Xuhan?" Brother BB asked, his tone quite doubtful.
"...."
"Go on! Make the fucking retarded sound again! Did you think I'll buy that bullshit? Where did you get it from? Answer honestly!" Brother BB gradually started yelling angrily from the other side of the tunnel. But Han Xuhan had no regrets. That guy had really believed him for a second there. The burn he had gotten in return was well worth the satisfaction.
"Oh well, that's too bad. The truth is I got the manual from this shady-looking thief. He said his name is Fang Xie. I don't think that's his real name, but that's all I got for you, fellow cultivator. Now, about our transaction, since we agreed that four hundred spirit stones are more than enough for your guidance-"
"Fang Xie? There is nobody with that name in the records of our holy land- wait a damn minute, four hundred spirit stones? DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE, HAN XUHAN!"
"Ooooh, scary! If I had a body here, I might have pissed myself and the piss would've reached your side of the tunnel because of my enhanced physique. The force behind a sixth-layer cultivator's piss is nothing to laugh at. So be careful with that tone, fellow cultivator Yun!"
Han Xuhan felt great. Brother BB was much like his favorite video game on earth. These interactions where he could let his oral cannon loose truly calmed his nerves after a long day.
"...You know what? Fuck you, Xuhan. I've got enough on my plate as it is. I don't need your constant unfunny fuckery twice a week. Just transfer the new resource load and get the hell out of my sight."
"This is going to get progressively worse and worse if you don't agree to the deal, brother Yun. Think you can handle what's coming? I shall devote a few hours of my day regularly just to come up with shittier forms of conduct every time we meet."
Had his form in the realm of laws been a physical body, Han Xuhan would have spread his hands in a grandiose fashion and spoken in his heaviest tone. But alas, such wet dreams never come true. Reality is often disappointing.
A long bout of silence stretched between them as his words reverberated through the tunnel. Han Xuhan was not nervous, however. He would force this deal on the other party one way or the other. His personal safety was in line here, after all.
"Fine. Show me the fucking manual first. First I need to see if I'm qualified to teach whichever type of law manipulation technique you've gotten from this thief called Fang Xie. And more importantly, I need to test its authenticity."
Resignation rang in Brother BB's tone. Han Xuhan snickered creepily once more.
Promising to send a copy of the manual the next time they have an exchange of resources (because Xuhan hadn't memorized the manual, just as usual), he left the realm of laws.
The night was at its darkest, he realized after a look outside. The mountains were asleep with their inhabitants. Tomorrow was a big day. Everyone wanted to get ample rest.
Snuffing out the lungs-cleansing candles (scented), Xuhan laid down on his bed and drifted off to sleep easily, the mental labor of the day having taken its toll.
"Oi, Xuhan! Oi, get up!"
Alarmed, Han Xuhan opened his eyes and was greeted by Mu Ran's excited face. The young man stood a few feet away from his bed, a large bucket sticking out from his back. Xuhan's senses told him the content of the bucket was a pile of extremely pure, powdered qi.
With a start, he realized that the sky had brightened, rays of sunlight had invaded his hut through the windows as well as the wide-open door.
How did this guy get in? Goosebumps appeared on Xuhan's back. This type of incidents was most common in rom-com novels. The retarded, creepy male lead would mysteriously gain the power to get past any door as long as the love interest was on the other side....
"Honestly underling, your home security is kind of crap. How can I let you safeguard anything precious if even a basic telekinetic technique can unlock everything inside your home?" Brightly, Mu Ran reprimanded Xuhan, seemingly brimming with excitement for the event today.
The chilling feeling in his bones disappeared as Xuhan realized that Mu Ran hadn't gained the ability to unlock his door by becoming a template male lead from those retarded romance plots induced by some writer's repressed fantasies.
"Come, come, COME! We gotta hurry up. Wash your face, and maybe try cleaning your teeth with some ash and salt. Gotta make ourselves presentable!"
Briefly, Xuhan fell into a spiral of doubt trying to reevaluate their relationship as boss and subordinate. Had the roles changed somehow?Since when had Mu Ran become so punctual?
"Aiya~ all those foreign jade beauties, I must be at my most dashing self...."
Mu Ran's dreamy, lecherous expression brought him back from his doubts. Thankfully, this guy was just eager for his future harem members.
"I'm on it, boss!" Xuhan dutifully leaped up and got to work, just as expected of a proper wingman.
Half an hour later, both of them reached their master's residence on the top of the mountain and then got yelled at by a distraught Kong Ye.
"WHAT? YOU HAVEN'T RE-EXAMINED THE ENTIRE BODY OF FORMATIONS YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF ?! GO DO IT NOW !"
Almost sent flying by the intensity of the shouts, the duo ran back to their own huts and started doing what they were told.
Han Xuhan was done after ten minutes. It wasn't because of his proficiency, but due to the fact that he hadn't really designed much of the formations. Mu Ran had filled in for him.
Not wanting to face Kong Ye right at the moment, Han Xuhan went to visit his other martial siblings.
"Brother Wu, this mountain peak felt your absence far too strongly the last couple weeks! Have you finished preparing for whatever you're planning to pull in the tournament?"
"Huh? Who said that? Who said I was preparing to pull something in the tournament?"
Xiao Wu looked like a deer in the headlight, his overly strong reaction giving away too much information. Xuhan's predatory persona perked up smelling something very delicious.
"You just messed up the formation you were attending to, brother Wu," he pointed out, watching Xiao Wu fumble with qi and try to reformat the design.
"Did you finish up re-examining your own formations already?" Xiao Wu asked in a frustrated tone.
"Oh yes, I did. It took like ten minutes." Han Xuhan didn't explain that it took him such a short time only because he hadn't really laid many formations.
"...."
Leaving behind an increasingly gloomy Xiao Wu, Xuhan went to visit Yuen Zhou with a swagger in his steps.
But as soon as he got near her home, he was forced to stop approaching further. Her home was surrounded by a bunch of flying swords....and as interesting as their aerial movement seemed to Xuhan, the swords did not look friendly.
"Sister Zhou! Are you in there?" He shouted while retreating as far as possible.
No one answered his call. What was this lass up to right before such an important event? A last-minute attempt at a breakthrough?
She was planting formations just yesterday. Did she gain enlightenment from bending over all day long designing them?
Han Xuhan felt lonely.
