"Hurry up, Ling Six! This isn't ordinary fire! The chariot won't hold up for much longer."
"I'm trying, I'm trying! Give me a few more minutes. Oi, Wang Three, hose that area with some water!"
If a blind person had stood there listening to the intense howls coming from the chariot, they'd have been under the impression that these cultivators were trying to put out the fire on it, or salvage precious resources from it.
But Han Xuhan wasn't blind, not yet. He could clearly see that all the occupants of the chariot at present were standing stock-still in various cool poses, their clothes fluttering in the wind. A girl standing on the highest point of the chariot was ferociously slashing at a scroll made of animal skin hanging in the air by itself. After a closer inspection, Han Xuhan realized that she was making a painting.
Their concern was not for the chariot, it was for the cool drawing.
The wind was not natural either. One guy at a corner of the deck was practicing a superhuman version of tai chi. His movements produced enormous waves of wind directed at his martial siblings, also further fanning the flames in the process, an issue none of them seemed concerned about.
Another guy, who Han Xuhan assumed to be Wang Three, sprinted toward the center of the flat island upon hearing the order directed at him. Han Xuhan watched with rapt attention as the heavyweight youth reached the middle of the island and with a mighty roar, jumped up by at least twenty feet.
Before landing, he bent his body at an angle that would transfer most of his weight to his feet. When his soles came crashing on the ground, the entire central square caved in so low that it disappeared from Han Xuhan's sight, taking Wang Three along with it.
A couple of seconds later, he reappeared, dragging out the body of a giant, rubbery shoot of bamboo with him. Han Xuhan couldn't see where the bamboo was growing from, but that soil had to be the most fertile soil on the planet because the bamboo's girth alone was the size of his bedroom. A crudely made wooden cork seemed to have been attached to the top of the bamboo. Han Xuhan's enhanced sight told him that there was a small hole in the middle of the cork–about the size of a teacup, sealed with wax.
For a moment, he became confused trying to comprehend what was happening. But the next action of Wang Three rooted Xuhan to the spot.
"What. The. Actual. Fuck?" he whispered to himself.
Wang Three had punched into the wax seal and put his mouth on the cup-sized hole on top of the bamboo shoot.
Then he quite literally began to inflate. It seemed that he was sucking out the air inside the bamboo, which Xuhan assumed had been hollowed out inside for this specific purpose.
Wang Three sucked in once more, his body now taking the contour of a bloated balloon standing on sticks.
Right when it looked like he was going to blow up, Wang Three removed his mouth from the hole and vomited out a jet of water. Along with him burst out a powerful squirt of water through the freed hole in the cork.
Wang Three recovered within a second. His body shrunk back to its original size, the absorbed air and water leaving him simultaneously. His movements spoke of volumes of experience!
This time he grabbed the squirting bamboo shoot with both arms and ran back toward the chariot, half of which was already about to become ash. The length of the shoot seemed to match the abysmally vast girth, as even after he had reached the chariot, its bottom stayed inside the hole in the center of the island.
And then Wang Three began his work, happily spraying the flames on the chariot with the stream of water coming through the bamboo.
Han Xuhan and his new acquaintance were within the splash zone. For the third time that day, he tasted the bitter sea on his tongue.
"Well, now that the fire is under control, let's get to know each other, brother....eh, your name wasn't Wang, right? What was it again?"
"It's Mu Ran," Han Xuhan answered the guy closest to him in a distracted manner.
"Yeah, and you were from this Red Snow Sect, you say? What an interesting name! I've never seen snow. I didn't even know it was red. Those ancient poems in the archives always described snow as white. Did the word 'white' mean the color red in ancient times? Or have I been reading it wrong my entire life?" Wang Four mused aloud.
Han Xuhan scratched his head, feeling troubled. Initially, he had tried to explain how he had ended up in their sect. The conversation hadn't exactly gone according to his plan.
When he had said that he was not there to rob them, they had replied, "Hah! Like we have anything worth robbing. What could you even find in here? Farming tools? Don't worry, Brother. Even if you claimed to have stolen anything from here, we wouldn't have believed you."
When he had said he was just lost and wanted to return to his sect, they had replied, "How can we let a guest return without a meal? Please stay for an hour while we prepare one. We'll use the freshest ingredients from the loot!"
Wang Four had decided to give him a tour in the meantime. The two of them awkwardly continued the conversation while the others were busy calming the bulls and salvaging the food they had looted from another sect.
He had come to realize that these cultivators were the very epitome of the template 'musclehead'. Their extremely friendly behavior stemmed from the fact that this was their first appearance in this worldwide tournament, and no one they had met so far had been exactly impressed by their behavior.
Their counselor was a frigid man from the Forestheart Foundation, who had left after exclaiming, "A bunch of backwater farmers who got lucky! Your sect shall certainly become well known once you've firmly grasped the lowest position in the rankings!"
In the end, Xuhan decided not to remark on the issue and said, "What's the name of your sect, brother Wang Four?
"Err....that's...." Wang Four rubbed his head in response, rousing Han Xuhan's suspicion.
"Honestly, we decided to officially form a sect only after our master got invited to the tournament. So we haven't yet come to an agreement on what to name our sect," Wang Four explained hesitantly after seeing his expression.
Han Xuhan took in a deep breath and put the topic in the back of his mind.
"Where is your master?" he asked, realizing he hadn't sensed anyone that powerful on this island yet.
"He went on a walk. Said he needed to meet some old friends and visit a nursery, haha! You know how old masters tend to have fun!" Wang Four winked at him with an honest smile.
"I know a fairly large number of old Masters, and that's...not how they have fun; that is unless the kids in the nursery are their direct descendants," Han Xuhan said, a confused expression forming on his face.
A nursery? In a place like this? Oh well, maybe some sects did have married couples amidst their members.
"Or maybe you've been reading the clues of whether someone is happy wrongly your whole life, hehe," Wang Four remarked in a supercilious tone.
"After all, them old monsters always speak in riddles and puzzles."
Han Xuhan understood one more fact at this point. Brother Wang Four fancied himself to be a philosopher. It was extremely unwise to argue with him.
"Aaand....it's done!" The painter girl declared from afar suddenly. The two of them turned to look as the rest of the members of the sect jumped down from the burning chariot at once.
Five seconds later, the chariot broke down into countless pieces and piles of ashes.
"Sweet ride, that one. The Void-Hammer Sect is gonna miss it for sure!" Brother Wang Four added as an afterthought.
"So that chariot was a part of the loot too!" Han Xuhan couldn't help exclaiming out loud.
"Of course. How else could we get a beauty like that?" said the painter girl proudly while walking over towards them in long strides.
Han Xuhan blinked twice and found himself covered by her shadow. He had to crane his head at a 45-degree angle to maintain eye contact with this eight-foot tall girl.
"I included you in the painting too, Big Brother! Look!" She said, thrusting the scroll in his hand enthusiastically.
"This means you’re family now!"
Han Xuhan took a deep breath and turned his gaze to the painting. He hadn't been expecting much, and he was surprised by the discovery that it was actually a decent painting. In fact, the painter seemed to have put the maximum effort and care into the tiny area that constituted his image. The rest of the picture was drawn methodically, with measured strokes, cutting corners wherever possible and the details kept to a bare minimum.
"Wow...I didn't know I looked that good. This painting is amazing!" Han Xuhan said, trying to match their enthusiasm. He felt quite touched...and overwhelmed by the unnecessarily friendly behavior of these cultivators. Why would such a sweet bunch fail to make friends?
A distinct voice in a corner of his heart tried to explain that it probably had something to do with their blatantly disrespectful robberies, but Han Xuhan chose to ignore that voice for now.
"Ahaha, thank you, Big Brother. Master once said I can make even a tapeworm look adorable. Making you look good was nothing compared to that!"
"...By the way, are those bulls stolen too?" he couldn't help asking, trying to change the topic. Had that remark come from another person, Han Xuhan would have taken it as an insult and retaliated viciously. But from this giantess, it sounded too innocent for him to hold a grudge.
"They are not stolen," Wang Four proudly answered. "These handsome lads were robbed, right under their owners' noses in broad daylight. There is a significant amount of difference. Only thieves steal. We're not something as cowardly as thieves."
"Enough chitchat about these insignificant things. The rest of us haven't introduced ourselves yet to Big Brother. What impression would he have of us if we stay so distant? Come on, everyone. Introduce yourselves one by one!" Another guy who had just leaped from the chariot butted in from afar as he rushed toward them, the rest of his martial siblings hot on his heels.
Han Xuhan felt like a prized animal in a zoo. To remedy the issue he threw out a suggestion.
"Guys, all of you are aware that I'm on a tight schedule here. Any moment, a new trial can strike us. I need to return back to my sect as fast as possible. So why don't we mix up the introduction a bit?
Brother Wang Four, didn't you want to give me a tour around the sect? Let's talk while we're on the tour!"
Han Xuhan was feeling quite curious about this strange sect. The entire island contained no housing or other necessities that an organization would require to function as a sect. He did not want to be at the receiving end of another flood, or a heavenly tribulation caused by sudden enlightenments.
Perhaps if there was a hidden shelter somewhere on this island, he'd be able to dodge the next trial of the tournament.
And he was not disappointed by what was revealed to him soon. His suggestion having received a warm, positive, response, he was escorted towards the center of the island immediately.
"Hello, little brother Ran! I'm Wang Six," said one guy while patting him on the head as they walked.
Han Xuhan's expression must have been unpleasant because the guy quickly asked, "Do you not pat each other's heads when you introduce yourselves? That's what we do in our village!"
Han Xuhan shook his head despondently.
"Man, no wonder all those girls from the Arrowless Sect looked so upset! I suspected something was amiss but they ran away so fast before I could ask what's wrong."
"Yeah, this one guy from the Void Hammer sect got really red in the face and yelled stuff like 'such humiliation' and 'I'll have vengeance' when I patted his head after defeating him," said the Ling Six, the painter girl.
Wang Six sighed heavily. Along with him sighed several others whose experience with head-patting seemed to be similar.
One by one, Han Xuhan got to know the rest of the disciples of this nameless sect on their way to the center of the island. All the males were named Wang, as he had suspected. And all the females were named Ling. The only way to remember them was by their last names, the numbers, not that it was of much help. The numbering seemed completely arbitrary. It wasn't a serial of their age, size, or cultivation level. Their master, who had bestowed on them their names sure seemed like an 'eccentric'.
Han Xuhan was broken out of his socializing frenzy by an over-enthusiastic Wang Three.
"Look, brother Qing. It's my hole! Wanna go down?"
"No, he doesn't! Brother Qing will go visit my holes first!" Said Ling Nine.
"No! Mine first! It's the biggest one!" Exclaimed Wang Four.
Han Xuhan found himself at an impasse.
"Hurry up, Ling Six! This isn't ordinary fire! The chariot won't hold up for much longer."
"I'm trying, I'm trying! Give me a few more minutes. Oi, Wang Three, hose that area with some water!"
If a blind person had stood there listening to the intense howls coming from the chariot, they'd have been under the impression that these cultivators were trying to put out the fire on it, or salvage precious resources from it.
But Han Xuhan wasn't blind, not yet. He could clearly see that all the occupants of the chariot at present were standing stock-still in various cool poses, their clothes fluttering in the wind. A girl standing on the highest point of the chariot was ferociously slashing at a scroll made of animal skin hanging in the air by itself. After a closer inspection, Han Xuhan realized that she was making a painting.
Their concern was not for the chariot, it was for the cool drawing.
The wind was not natural either. One guy at a corner of the deck was practicing a superhuman version of tai chi. His movements produced enormous waves of wind directed at his martial siblings, also further fanning the flames in the process, an issue none of them seemed concerned about.
Another guy, who Han Xuhan assumed to be Wang Three, sprinted toward the center of the flat island upon hearing the order directed at him. Han Xuhan watched with rapt attention as the heavyweight youth reached the middle of the island and with a mighty roar, jumped up by at least twenty feet.
Before landing, he bent his body at an angle that would transfer most of his weight to his feet. When his soles came crashing on the ground, the entire central square caved in so low that it disappeared from Han Xuhan's sight, taking Wang Three along with it.
A couple of seconds later, he reappeared, dragging out the body of a giant, rubbery shoot of bamboo with him. Han Xuhan couldn't see where the bamboo was growing from, but that soil had to be the most fertile soil on the planet because the bamboo's girth alone was the size of his bedroom. A crudely made wooden cork seemed to have been attached to the top of the bamboo. Han Xuhan's enhanced sight told him that there was a small hole in the middle of the cork–about the size of a teacup, sealed with wax.
For a moment, he became confused trying to comprehend what was happening. But the next action of Wang Three rooted Xuhan to the spot.
"What. The. Actual. Fuck?" he whispered to himself.
Wang Three had punched into the wax seal and put his mouth on the cup-sized hole on top of the bamboo shoot.
Then he quite literally began to inflate. It seemed that he was sucking out the air inside the bamboo, which Xuhan assumed had been hollowed out inside for this specific purpose.
Wang Three sucked in once more, his body now taking the contour of a bloated balloon standing on sticks.
Right when it looked like he was going to blow up, Wang Three removed his mouth from the hole and vomited out a jet of water. Along with him burst out a powerful squirt of water through the freed hole in the cork.
Wang Three recovered within a second. His body shrunk back to its original size, the absorbed air and water leaving him simultaneously. His movements spoke of volumes of experience!
This time he grabbed the squirting bamboo shoot with both arms and ran back toward the chariot, half of which was already about to become ash. The length of the shoot seemed to match the abysmally vast girth, as even after he had reached the chariot, its bottom stayed inside the hole in the center of the island.
And then Wang Three began his work, happily spraying the flames on the chariot with the stream of water coming through the bamboo.
Han Xuhan and his new acquaintance were within the splash zone. For the third time that day, he tasted the bitter sea on his tongue.
"Well, now that the fire is under control, let's get to know each other, brother....eh, your name wasn't Wang, right? What was it again?"
"It's Mu Ran," Han Xuhan answered the guy closest to him in a distracted manner.
"Yeah, and you were from this Red Snow Sect, you say? What an interesting name! I've never seen snow. I didn't even know it was red. Those ancient poems in the archives always described snow as white. Did the word 'white' mean the color red in ancient times? Or have I been reading it wrong my entire life?" Wang Four mused aloud.
Han Xuhan scratched his head, feeling troubled. Initially, he had tried to explain how he had ended up in their sect. The conversation hadn't exactly gone according to his plan.
When he had said that he was not there to rob them, they had replied, "Hah! Like we have anything worth robbing. What could you even find in here? Farming tools? Don't worry, Brother. Even if you claimed to have stolen anything from here, we wouldn't have believed you."
When he had said he was just lost and wanted to return to his sect, they had replied, "How can we let a guest return without a meal? Please stay for an hour while we prepare one. We'll use the freshest ingredients from the loot!"
Wang Four had decided to give him a tour in the meantime. The two of them awkwardly continued the conversation while the others were busy calming the bulls and salvaging the food they had looted from another sect.
He had come to realize that these cultivators were the very epitome of the template 'musclehead'. Their extremely friendly behavior stemmed from the fact that this was their first appearance in this worldwide tournament, and no one they had met so far had been exactly impressed by their behavior.
Their counselor was a frigid man from the Forestheart Foundation, who had left after exclaiming, "A bunch of backwater farmers who got lucky! Your sect shall certainly become well known once you've firmly grasped the lowest position in the rankings!"
In the end, Xuhan decided not to remark on the issue and said, "What's the name of your sect, brother Wang Four?
"Err....that's...." Wang Four rubbed his head in response, rousing Han Xuhan's suspicion.
"Honestly, we decided to officially form a sect only after our master got invited to the tournament. So we haven't yet come to an agreement on what to name our sect," Wang Four explained hesitantly after seeing his expression.
Han Xuhan took in a deep breath and put the topic in the back of his mind.
"Where is your master?" he asked, realizing he hadn't sensed anyone that powerful on this island yet.
"He went on a walk. Said he needed to meet some old friends and visit a nursery, haha! You know how old masters tend to have fun!" Wang Four winked at him with an honest smile.
"I know a fairly large number of old Masters, and that's...not how they have fun; that is unless the kids in the nursery are their direct descendants," Han Xuhan said, a confused expression forming on his face.
A nursery? In a place like this? Oh well, maybe some sects did have married couples amidst their members.
"Or maybe you've been reading the clues of whether someone is happy wrongly your whole life, hehe," Wang Four remarked in a supercilious tone.
"After all, them old monsters always speak in riddles and puzzles."
Han Xuhan understood one more fact at this point. Brother Wang Four fancied himself to be a philosopher. It was extremely unwise to argue with him.
"Aaand....it's done!" The painter girl declared from afar suddenly. The two of them turned to look as the rest of the members of the sect jumped down from the burning chariot at once.
Five seconds later, the chariot broke down into countless pieces and piles of ashes.
"Sweet ride, that one. The Void-Hammer Sect is gonna miss it for sure!" Brother Wang Four added as an afterthought.
"So that chariot was a part of the loot too!" Han Xuhan couldn't help exclaiming out loud.
"Of course. How else could we get a beauty like that?" said the painter girl proudly while walking over towards them in long strides.
Han Xuhan blinked twice and found himself covered by her shadow. He had to crane his head at a 45-degree angle to maintain eye contact with this eight-foot tall girl.
"I included you in the painting too, Big Brother! Look!" She said, thrusting the scroll in his hand enthusiastically.
"This means you’re family now!"
Han Xuhan took a deep breath and turned his gaze to the painting. He hadn't been expecting much, and he was surprised by the discovery that it was actually a decent painting. In fact, the painter seemed to have put the maximum effort and care into the tiny area that constituted his image. The rest of the picture was drawn methodically, with measured strokes, cutting corners wherever possible and the details kept to a bare minimum.
"Wow...I didn't know I looked that good. This painting is amazing!" Han Xuhan said, trying to match their enthusiasm. He felt quite touched...and overwhelmed by the unnecessarily friendly behavior of these cultivators. Why would such a sweet bunch fail to make friends?
A distinct voice in a corner of his heart tried to explain that it probably had something to do with their blatantly disrespectful robberies, but Han Xuhan chose to ignore that voice for now.
"Ahaha, thank you, Big Brother. Master once said I can make even a tapeworm look adorable. Making you look good was nothing compared to that!"
"...By the way, are those bulls stolen too?" he couldn't help asking, trying to change the topic. Had that remark come from another person, Han Xuhan would have taken it as an insult and retaliated viciously. But from this giantess, it sounded too innocent for him to hold a grudge.
"They are not stolen," Wang Four proudly answered. "These handsome lads were robbed, right under their owners' noses in broad daylight. There is a significant amount of difference. Only thieves steal. We're not something as cowardly as thieves."
"Enough chitchat about these insignificant things. The rest of us haven't introduced ourselves yet to Big Brother. What impression would he have of us if we stay so distant? Come on, everyone. Introduce yourselves one by one!" Another guy who had just leaped from the chariot butted in from afar as he rushed toward them, the rest of his martial siblings hot on his heels.
Han Xuhan felt like a prized animal in a zoo. To remedy the issue he threw out a suggestion.
"Guys, all of you are aware that I'm on a tight schedule here. Any moment, a new trial can strike us. I need to return back to my sect as fast as possible. So why don't we mix up the introduction a bit?
Brother Wang Four, didn't you want to give me a tour around the sect? Let's talk while we're on the tour!"
Han Xuhan was feeling quite curious about this strange sect. The entire island contained no housing or other necessities that an organization would require to function as a sect. He did not want to be at the receiving end of another flood, or a heavenly tribulation caused by sudden enlightenments.
Perhaps if there was a hidden shelter somewhere on this island, he'd be able to dodge the next trial of the tournament.
And he was not disappointed by what was revealed to him soon. His suggestion having received a warm, positive, response, he was escorted towards the center of the island immediately.
"Hello, little brother Ran! I'm Wang Six," said one guy while patting him on the head as they walked.
Han Xuhan's expression must have been unpleasant because the guy quickly asked, "Do you not pat each other's heads when you introduce yourselves? That's what we do in our village!"
Han Xuhan shook his head despondently.
"Man, no wonder all those girls from the Arrowless Sect looked so upset! I suspected something was amiss but they ran away so fast before I could ask what's wrong."
"Yeah, this one guy from the Void Hammer sect got really red in the face and yelled stuff like 'such humiliation' and 'I'll have vengeance' when I patted his head after defeating him," said the Ling Six, the painter girl.
Wang Six sighed heavily. Along with him sighed several others whose experience with head-patting seemed to be similar.
One by one, Han Xuhan got to know the rest of the disciples of this nameless sect on their way to the center of the island. All the males were named Wang, as he had suspected. And all the females were named Ling. The only way to remember them was by their last names, the numbers, not that it was of much help. The numbering seemed completely arbitrary. It wasn't a serial of their age, size, or cultivation level. Their master, who had bestowed on them their names sure seemed like an 'eccentric'.
Han Xuhan was broken out of his socializing frenzy by an over-enthusiastic Wang Three.
"Look, brother Qing. It's my hole! Wanna go down?"
"No, he doesn't! Brother Qing will go visit my holes first!" Said Ling Nine.
"No! Mine first! It's the biggest one!" Exclaimed Wang Four.
Han Xuhan found himself at an impasse.
