10. Because I’m Your Father
“What?”
“According to witnesses, he easily released the mana restraint, knocked out the guards and soldiers, and then fled.”
“What about the track record?”
“The blood trail continued for a long time to the bushes near the Northern forest, but has since disappeared.”
“So he fled to the woods.”
Come to think of it, the place where Mabel went for a walk today was also by the lake at the entrance of the Northern Forest.
Esteban was relieved that the dangerous hostage that escaped did not encounter Mabel.
“There were no reports of anything stuck in the Imperial Palace’s chain, so he probably hasn’t gotten out yet. Lock down the gates and tighten security. At the same time you search, try to increase security of Mabel’s palace. Only those who are allowed to step in will be permitted.”
The purpose was to prevent Mabel from being in danger.
But Gustav was one step ahead.
“I’ve already increased it by 20 times.”
“Good job. You said you lost track near the Northern Forest, so search around the forest.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
The discussion about the hostage who ran away was over. Only then, could Esteban breathe.
“…Everyone back away.”
Everyone bowed their heads and left the room at the Emperor’s orders. Only Oscar hesitated and could not walk away.
“Is Royal Father not going?”
“I’m not going.”
Esteban with a bitter smile, wiped the sweat off of Mabel’s face with a cold towel.
“The nurse should stay.”
‘If it were nursing, the nanny would do it.’
Those words were stuck in Oscar’s throat, but he swallowed them and silently left the room.
Mabel’s fever has dropped slightly since she took the fever medicine. Her breathing was also much more stable.
From then, time was the medicine.
Esteban put the back of his hand on Mabel’s cheek.
“Don’t be sick, Mabel.”
It was painful.
The small and weak child will surely get sick more than once or twice as she grows up, but he was not confident that he would be able to handle the shock.
Esteban is the ruler of the largest territory on the continent and owns the largest number of gold and silver treasures, but there was something he could not achieve.
To protect the precious ones perfectly.
He’s tried many times but failed again and again.
“…Siana.”
He recalled his wife, who groaned with a fever and eventually died.
“…You shouldn’t have told me to give you up instead of the child, Siana.”
“But…Your Majesty, you didn’t reject my request in the end…”
“…Because it was your request.”
“Lies. You never would have given up…me nor the child from the beginning.”
“……”
“It’s too harsh to take me away from you…so all I can give is an apology.”
She closed her eyes, unable to hold Esteban’s hands until the end.
“I’m sorry…”
What he wanted wasn’t Siana’s apology.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ instead of ‘I love you’ became an open wound to him.
He couldn’t grow new flesh and gradually starved.
In the end, it will be cut out and become a scar that does not heal.
So he wanted to protect this little child safely and perfectly without any threat.
‘But will I…”
My thoughts were cut off.
“Hiiing…”
With a whining voice, a small hand touched the great hand of Esteban.
It was a toss-and-turn, but there was a big stir in Esteban’s heart.
‘What was I just thinking?’
He came to his senses as if cold water had been poured on him. Esteban looked at the touch of Mabel’s hand.
It was hot because of her high body temperature.
“…I’m sorry, Mabel.”
It’s so painful just to see you catch a cold, scared of what might happen in future, he wanted to give up.
He was afraid that Mabel would leave his side, like Siana.
But you can’t. Esteban’s blue eyes glowed coolly.
“Because I’m your father.”
So.
“I’ll protect you. By all means.”
Whatever threat, whatever blocks them, I’ll protect Mabel.
Even if there is a limit to destroy and smash, surely.
***
It was an unprecedentedly…a hot summer day.
Because there was no air conditioner, I had no choice but to rely on a fan that barely made a noise to keep out the heat.
The five-year-old, who had a weak immune system, caught a summer cold and lay in front of the fan and closed her eyes.
I was praying for a cold bath.
“Ha…”
It was so hot that I was dripping with sweat, but I got the chills.
‘…What if I really die like this?’
It’s already been over a month since Dad came back. Mom…will never come back.
No one helped me just lie down like this. It was a long time ago when I realized that my work had to be solved.
I staggered to my feat. In the midst of a whirl of eyes, I searched the cabinet and took out a fever reducer.
It was way past the exportation date, but I just swallowed it because I didn’t have the energy to buy medicine or the money to buy medicine.
“Euuk.”
Perhaps because I swallowed it without water, it hurt as if something was stuck in my throat.
I crouched down in front of the fan.
Before long, the medicine spread and my stomach began to ache. Maybe it was because I took medicine on an empty stomach.
In the meantime I have started a comparison that has now become a habit.
Why doesn’t my mother and father love me?
Why, the other kids have parents to take care of them, I do everything in the house myself.
Why, when I walk down the street, people look at me as if it’s sad. And…
‘…Why am I always alone?’
Meaningless questions.
Questions no one will answer.
But I wanted to find the answer. Then maybe this loneliness will disappear.
The eye-grinding consciousness gradually clouded.
The warm breeze of the fan was felt, but only the dizziness was left.
Even though I was lying still, my surrounding seemed to be shaking.
“…bel.”
Someone’s voice came through. It was a man’s voice.
Who is it? No way.
‘…Dad?’
A strange touch swept my sweaty forehead and wiped it off with a cold towel.
The tightly squeezed wet towel was cold, so I felt good.
A bitter taste of liquid flowed into my mouth and I swallowed it with a cough.
A dry towel carefully wiped around my mouth.
“Don’t be sick, Mabel.”
A voice came in from time to time. The voice of an adult who calls me Mabel.
“Get better then let’s go out and play with this father of yours.”
Ahh. This is a dream.
A dream of becoming someone else, not me.
“Because I’m your father.”
My name isn’t Mabel. I’m Yoon Gye-Oul…my dad’s not here. (T/N: Her name translates to Winter.)
“I’ll keep you safe. By all means.”
Like I said, you’re not my dad.
Tears came out. I tasted something I couldn’t have for a second, but it was so sweet.
I know it’s just a dream, but I just wanted to believe it no matter how disappointed I would be later because it was so friendly.
It’s a dream anyways. Anything you do in a dream can be forgiven.
So I hope I don’t wake up from my dream, just a little bit more.
***
It slowly opened my eyes.
The sunlight, cut into the shape of a spear, was striking over my body, blinding my eyes.
The intense sunlight made it seem that it was already midday beyond the morning.
After inadvertently touching my face with my hands, I found that I had a handkerchief on my forehead.
The water still remained moist, as it had not been long since the new one.
Obviously, until I slept, my whole body was hot and my eyes were twirling, but now I was a little dizzy, but it was not very painful.
‘Is it a passing summer cold?’
I thought I had a dream, but I couldn’t remember it well. I think my dad came…
If that’s true, it would be a nightmare. It might be better not to remember it.
“Hwoo…”
Anyway, since Ihad a cold, I sighed. However, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
The room was strangely quiet.
Usually there is one other person in my room during the daytime, but everyone was gone.
It’s strange…? Turning to the right, I doubted my eyes.
“…?”
The Emperor was sitting uncomfortable on a chair with his arms folded and his eyes closed.
I closed my eyes tight, hoping it was a hallucination. However, the Emperor remained as is.
‘Why are you here?’
It’s not the time for the Emperor to come.
Perhaps because of my trivial pretense, the Emperor slowly opened his eyes. The blue pupils that were covered slowly came out.
The expressionless, angry face quickly smiled affectionately as soon as our eyes met.
“You woke up, Mabel.”
The drastic change in facial expression was not surprising now because I’ve seen it quite a lot.
What was more important was why the Emperor was here. Wheres did the Nanny go?
The Emperor approached me as I looked around with anxious eyes. Then he placed his big hand on my forehead.
The Emperor’s hands are as cool as I thought.
“Your fever came down a lot.
Oh my…
I blinked stupidly. The Emperor’s clumsy hand that measured my temperature, was not unfamiliar.
Even while I was surprised, the Emperor moved busily.
He wet the handkerchief with cold water and squeezed it, put it on my forehead, and wiped my body with lukewarm water.
And lastly, he gave me medicine.
I was in a state of not being able to grasp the situation well even thought I was eating quietly.
‘Where is the nanny, and why is the Emperor nursing me?’
I stared at the Emperor’s face. His complexion wasn’t so good, he probably didn’t sleep even a wink last night.
‘Ah.’
I vaguely remembered.
At the end of the memories of my painful past life, someone took care of me, and that wasn’t a dream, it was real.
“Heuh…”
I swallowed the cry about to burst out, but tears fell in vain.
Then the startled Emperor carefully hugged me. The gentle patting touch was so sweet.
“Mabel? Are you still sick? Huh?”
His restless, worried voice was so warm that tears wouldn’t stop falling.
‘Does…he really love me?’
I wondered if I was worthy of such love, and I just thought that I was undeserved.
As I thought in my dream, it was awkward as if I had taken something that’s not mine.
But most of all, the biggest reason I couldn’t trust someone was because of anxiety.
‘…How many years will it take until I’m abandoned?’
***
I haven’t been out since then, perhaps because I had a bad cold.
‘How good would it be if that was the only thing.’
A warm breeze blew through the window, opened for ventilation, and smelled like summer flowers.
The nanny, who had been quietly embroidered, glanced at the window and ordered Lalima who was nearby.
“Lalima! Close all the windows.”
“Yes, Madame.”
Not only did I not go out, in case something could hurt me was restricted.
As if it would be a problem if the wind blows for a little longer. The windows would be open for a little bit in order to ventilate but then be closed quickly.
“Oom…”
It’s probably because of the Emperor.
The mobile that circled above me was also collected, saying it was dangerous if it were to fall.
Other toys, too, may be dangerous, so they were collected, And the doll that my favorite lady-in-waiting gave me as a present, was collected.
All of it-collected.
It made me much more bored than before.
It’s less boring at night because there’s no one here, so I can move as I want, but there was nothing to do during the day.
It might be comforting that I finally escaped the cradle and sleep in a bed now.
‘Even thought it’s a bed for babies.’
It was the pleasure of my life to be sneaky.
While lying idle and killing time, Oscar came in with a hand fan.
“Ah, it’s hot.”
“You came, Your highness? I’ll give you some cold tea.”
“Thank you, Nanny.”
Oscar went straight to the bed. Oscar sat on the bed naturally and embraced me.
I reflexively turned my head to find something.
‘There he is. Lissandro Donovan.’
It was a human being, my escort and hindrance, watching us halfway through the door.
I glared sharply at Lissandro.
“Mabel. What are you looking at? Ah…”
Oscars expression darkened as he saw what I was staring at.
That’s why Oscar can’t even get a good rest. I pointed my finger at Lissandro and shouted.
“Kitty!”
To translate it, ‘go away!’
“You’re too much…heck heuk heuk.”
Lissandro completely disappeared behind the door with a cry.
Then Oscar burst into a ‘pft’ laughter.
“Do you hate Uncle that much?”
‘It’s because of you, you.’
Oscar spoke, playing with my fairly grown hair.
“Don’t hate Uncle too much.”
“Oong…?”
“He used to play with me a while ago, but he’s been tough ever since he took on the role of my swordsmanship and academic teacher. I’m sure he just want’s me to do well. He’s not a bad guy, Mabel.”
Because of who did I kick Lissandro out!
‘What would that make me if you defend him?’
10. Because I’m Your Father
“What?”
“According to witnesses, he easily released the mana restraint, knocked out the guards and soldiers, and then fled.”
“What about the track record?”
“The blood trail continued for a long time to the bushes near the Northern forest, but has since disappeared.”
“So he fled to the woods.”
Come to think of it, the place where Mabel went for a walk today was also by the lake at the entrance of the Northern Forest.
Esteban was relieved that the dangerous hostage that escaped did not encounter Mabel.
“There were no reports of anything stuck in the Imperial Palace’s chain, so he probably hasn’t gotten out yet. Lock down the gates and tighten security. At the same time you search, try to increase security of Mabel’s palace. Only those who are allowed to step in will be permitted.”
The purpose was to prevent Mabel from being in danger.
But Gustav was one step ahead.
“I’ve already increased it by 20 times.”
“Good job. You said you lost track near the Northern Forest, so search around the forest.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
The discussion about the hostage who ran away was over. Only then, could Esteban breathe.
“…Everyone back away.”
Everyone bowed their heads and left the room at the Emperor’s orders. Only Oscar hesitated and could not walk away.
“Is Royal Father not going?”
“I’m not going.”
Esteban with a bitter smile, wiped the sweat off of Mabel’s face with a cold towel.
“The nurse should stay.”
‘If it were nursing, the nanny would do it.’
Those words were stuck in Oscar’s throat, but he swallowed them and silently left the room.
Mabel’s fever has dropped slightly since she took the fever medicine. Her breathing was also much more stable.
From then, time was the medicine.
Esteban put the back of his hand on Mabel’s cheek.
“Don’t be sick, Mabel.”
It was painful.
The small and weak child will surely get sick more than once or twice as she grows up, but he was not confident that he would be able to handle the shock.
Esteban is the ruler of the largest territory on the continent and owns the largest number of gold and silver treasures, but there was something he could not achieve.
To protect the precious ones perfectly.
He’s tried many times but failed again and again.
“…Siana.”
He recalled his wife, who groaned with a fever and eventually died.
“…You shouldn’t have told me to give you up instead of the child, Siana.”
“But…Your Majesty, you didn’t reject my request in the end…”
“…Because it was your request.”
“Lies. You never would have given up…me nor the child from the beginning.”
“……”
“It’s too harsh to take me away from you…so all I can give is an apology.”
She closed her eyes, unable to hold Esteban’s hands until the end.
“I’m sorry…”
What he wanted wasn’t Siana’s apology.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ instead of ‘I love you’ became an open wound to him.
He couldn’t grow new flesh and gradually starved.
In the end, it will be cut out and become a scar that does not heal.
So he wanted to protect this little child safely and perfectly without any threat.
‘But will I…”
My thoughts were cut off.
“Hiiing…”
With a whining voice, a small hand touched the great hand of Esteban.
It was a toss-and-turn, but there was a big stir in Esteban’s heart.
‘What was I just thinking?’
He came to his senses as if cold water had been poured on him. Esteban looked at the touch of Mabel’s hand.
It was hot because of her high body temperature.
“…I’m sorry, Mabel.”
It’s so painful just to see you catch a cold, scared of what might happen in future, he wanted to give up.
He was afraid that Mabel would leave his side, like Siana.
But you can’t. Esteban’s blue eyes glowed coolly.
“Because I’m your father.”
So.
“I’ll protect you. By all means.”
Whatever threat, whatever blocks them, I’ll protect Mabel.
Even if there is a limit to destroy and smash, surely.
***
It was an unprecedentedly…a hot summer day.
Because there was no air conditioner, I had no choice but to rely on a fan that barely made a noise to keep out the heat.
The five-year-old, who had a weak immune system, caught a summer cold and lay in front of the fan and closed her eyes.
I was praying for a cold bath.
“Ha…”
It was so hot that I was dripping with sweat, but I got the chills.
‘…What if I really die like this?’
It’s already been over a month since Dad came back. Mom…will never come back.
No one helped me just lie down like this. It was a long time ago when I realized that my work had to be solved.
I staggered to my feat. In the midst of a whirl of eyes, I searched the cabinet and took out a fever reducer.
It was way past the exportation date, but I just swallowed it because I didn’t have the energy to buy medicine or the money to buy medicine.
“Euuk.”
Perhaps because I swallowed it without water, it hurt as if something was stuck in my throat.
I crouched down in front of the fan.
Before long, the medicine spread and my stomach began to ache. Maybe it was because I took medicine on an empty stomach.
In the meantime I have started a comparison that has now become a habit.
Why doesn’t my mother and father love me?
Why, the other kids have parents to take care of them, I do everything in the house myself.
Why, when I walk down the street, people look at me as if it’s sad. And…
‘…Why am I always alone?’
Meaningless questions.
Questions no one will answer.
But I wanted to find the answer. Then maybe this loneliness will disappear.
The eye-grinding consciousness gradually clouded.
The warm breeze of the fan was felt, but only the dizziness was left.
Even though I was lying still, my surrounding seemed to be shaking.
“…bel.”
Someone’s voice came through. It was a man’s voice.
Who is it? No way.
‘…Dad?’
A strange touch swept my sweaty forehead and wiped it off with a cold towel.
The tightly squeezed wet towel was cold, so I felt good.
A bitter taste of liquid flowed into my mouth and I swallowed it with a cough.
A dry towel carefully wiped around my mouth.
“Don’t be sick, Mabel.”
A voice came in from time to time. The voice of an adult who calls me Mabel.
“Get better then let’s go out and play with this father of yours.”
Ahh. This is a dream.
A dream of becoming someone else, not me.
“Because I’m your father.”
My name isn’t Mabel. I’m Yoon Gye-Oul…my dad’s not here. (T/N: Her name translates to Winter.)
“I’ll keep you safe. By all means.”
Like I said, you’re not my dad.
Tears came out. I tasted something I couldn’t have for a second, but it was so sweet.
I know it’s just a dream, but I just wanted to believe it no matter how disappointed I would be later because it was so friendly.
It’s a dream anyways. Anything you do in a dream can be forgiven.
So I hope I don’t wake up from my dream, just a little bit more.
***
It slowly opened my eyes.
The sunlight, cut into the shape of a spear, was striking over my body, blinding my eyes.
The intense sunlight made it seem that it was already midday beyond the morning.
After inadvertently touching my face with my hands, I found that I had a handkerchief on my forehead.
The water still remained moist, as it had not been long since the new one.
Obviously, until I slept, my whole body was hot and my eyes were twirling, but now I was a little dizzy, but it was not very painful.
‘Is it a passing summer cold?’
I thought I had a dream, but I couldn’t remember it well. I think my dad came…
If that’s true, it would be a nightmare. It might be better not to remember it.
“Hwoo…”
Anyway, since Ihad a cold, I sighed. However, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
The room was strangely quiet.
Usually there is one other person in my room during the daytime, but everyone was gone.
It’s strange…? Turning to the right, I doubted my eyes.
“…?”
The Emperor was sitting uncomfortable on a chair with his arms folded and his eyes closed.
I closed my eyes tight, hoping it was a hallucination. However, the Emperor remained as is.
‘Why are you here?’
It’s not the time for the Emperor to come.
Perhaps because of my trivial pretense, the Emperor slowly opened his eyes. The blue pupils that were covered slowly came out.
The expressionless, angry face quickly smiled affectionately as soon as our eyes met.
“You woke up, Mabel.”
The drastic change in facial expression was not surprising now because I’ve seen it quite a lot.
What was more important was why the Emperor was here. Wheres did the Nanny go?
The Emperor approached me as I looked around with anxious eyes. Then he placed his big hand on my forehead.
The Emperor’s hands are as cool as I thought.
“Your fever came down a lot.
Oh my…
I blinked stupidly. The Emperor’s clumsy hand that measured my temperature, was not unfamiliar.
Even while I was surprised, the Emperor moved busily.
He wet the handkerchief with cold water and squeezed it, put it on my forehead, and wiped my body with lukewarm water.
And lastly, he gave me medicine.
I was in a state of not being able to grasp the situation well even thought I was eating quietly.
‘Where is the nanny, and why is the Emperor nursing me?’
I stared at the Emperor’s face. His complexion wasn’t so good, he probably didn’t sleep even a wink last night.
‘Ah.’
I vaguely remembered.
At the end of the memories of my painful past life, someone took care of me, and that wasn’t a dream, it was real.
“Heuh…”
I swallowed the cry about to burst out, but tears fell in vain.
Then the startled Emperor carefully hugged me. The gentle patting touch was so sweet.
“Mabel? Are you still sick? Huh?”
His restless, worried voice was so warm that tears wouldn’t stop falling.
‘Does…he really love me?’
I wondered if I was worthy of such love, and I just thought that I was undeserved.
As I thought in my dream, it was awkward as if I had taken something that’s not mine.
But most of all, the biggest reason I couldn’t trust someone was because of anxiety.
‘…How many years will it take until I’m abandoned?’
***
I haven’t been out since then, perhaps because I had a bad cold.
‘How good would it be if that was the only thing.’
A warm breeze blew through the window, opened for ventilation, and smelled like summer flowers.
The nanny, who had been quietly embroidered, glanced at the window and ordered Lalima who was nearby.
“Lalima! Close all the windows.”
“Yes, Madame.”
Not only did I not go out, in case something could hurt me was restricted.
As if it would be a problem if the wind blows for a little longer. The windows would be open for a little bit in order to ventilate but then be closed quickly.
“Oom…”
It’s probably because of the Emperor.
The mobile that circled above me was also collected, saying it was dangerous if it were to fall.
Other toys, too, may be dangerous, so they were collected, And the doll that my favorite lady-in-waiting gave me as a present, was collected.
All of it-collected.
It made me much more bored than before.
It’s less boring at night because there’s no one here, so I can move as I want, but there was nothing to do during the day.
It might be comforting that I finally escaped the cradle and sleep in a bed now.
‘Even thought it’s a bed for babies.’
It was the pleasure of my life to be sneaky.
While lying idle and killing time, Oscar came in with a hand fan.
“Ah, it’s hot.”
“You came, Your highness? I’ll give you some cold tea.”
“Thank you, Nanny.”
Oscar went straight to the bed. Oscar sat on the bed naturally and embraced me.
I reflexively turned my head to find something.
‘There he is. Lissandro Donovan.’
It was a human being, my escort and hindrance, watching us halfway through the door.
I glared sharply at Lissandro.
“Mabel. What are you looking at? Ah…”
Oscars expression darkened as he saw what I was staring at.
That’s why Oscar can’t even get a good rest. I pointed my finger at Lissandro and shouted.
“Kitty!”
To translate it, ‘go away!’
“You’re too much…heck heuk heuk.”
Lissandro completely disappeared behind the door with a cry.
Then Oscar burst into a ‘pft’ laughter.
“Do you hate Uncle that much?”
‘It’s because of you, you.’
Oscar spoke, playing with my fairly grown hair.
“Don’t hate Uncle too much.”
“Oong…?”
“He used to play with me a while ago, but he’s been tough ever since he took on the role of my swordsmanship and academic teacher. I’m sure he just want’s me to do well. He’s not a bad guy, Mabel.”
Because of who did I kick Lissandro out!
‘What would that make me if you defend him?’
