With a thwack, my pole struck Leonard’s side hard enough to knock the burly man off balance, giving me just enough time to slip in a kick to his chest, finally bringing him to the ground. He landed flat on his back, the thud echoing in the empty room.
With a huff, Leonard sat himself up, a sweaty smile plastered on his face. “That’s another one for you,” he said between heavy breaths.
“Nineteen to eleven, huh,” I responded, breathing just as hard as him. “I’m right on your tail.”
Leonard laughed. “You wish. I just felt bad beating you so badly, so I’m letting you catch up a little.”
I grinned in response. “Says the guy on the floor right now.”
“Fair enough,” Leonard sighed. “I had a feeling the day would come that I would start getting knocked down, but I never thought it would come so early. To think that after twenty years of training, I would get bested so easily by someone almost entirely self-trained. My teachers would be so disappointed.”
“Ok, that’s just too much,” I said, flushing under the praise. “First of all, you probably spent most of those twenty years training with your affinity, so these pure combat fights say nothing of how strong you actually are. Not to mention, most of my improvement has come from your teaching.”
My last point was in no way an exaggeration. The three weeks of training I’d done so far under Leonard had seen far more improvement than the countless fights I’d fought at the Fight House and on the streets. Those fights had been useful in their own way, but learning the technicalities of the craft had polished up the raw experience I had and moulded it into something even I was proud of.
Of course, I knew Leonard was far stronger than he was letting on, and while I appreciated that he was willing to swallow his pride to let me see my own improvement, the fact that he did so only fueled the fire that pushed me to get stronger.
Leonard grunted as he pushed himself up to his feet, smiling at my words. “Speaking of which, how far along are you with your affinity? I can’t wait for the day I get to fight you with elemental Flux.”
I laughed. “Oh, that’s still a ways off. I can barely keep a candle-sized flame alive for longer than half an hour.”
“You’d be surprised at how fast you progress later on," Leonard said, smiling in encouragement. "The first stages are always the hardest. Not to mention, getting as far as you have gotten within three weeks is a feat you should be proud of. Not many mages are as dedicated as you are.”
I shook my head. “But I still need to go faster. I need to be able to throw a projectile by the time I get to Adonis. And I don’t have much time left now, do I?”
Leonard angled his head slightly as he thought. “We should still have about a week. We’ll be passing the wild planet Argonis soon, and Adonis is only about a few days of travel from there.”
I nodded, my face blank as I sank into my thoughts. It seemed unlikely, now more than ever, that I would achieve my goal. “Well,” I said with a smile, “suppose that just means I have to double down, huh? No more dinners for me, I guess.”
Leonard snapped his gaze to me as he heard, fixing me with an admonishing glare, but I spoke before he could scold me.
“I’m joking,” I said with a laugh. “I’d like to achieve my goal, but I won’t kill myself for it.”
“Good,” Leonard said. “There’s a fine line between determination and insanity, Ruby. And to strive for strength is to risk crossing that line every day. Be mindful of that.”
I grinned at him. “More poetry?” I asked.
Leonard huffed. “No, not really,” he said, his voice more serious than I had expected. “Just something I’ve come to understand over the years. People with the kind of drive you have, who’ve lived the kind of life you have, often spend their lives toeing that line. And I’ve seen what can happen to people who fall off to the other end. Their thirst for strength becomes all-consuming, above any other moral in their life. That’s how you get people like the Insect Monarch, people who’ve fallen to a level where the life of another person is worth nothing. People who are willing to sacrifice anything if it means becoming a little bit stronger.”
I scoffed at his words. “Oh, come on Leonard, I’m not that crazy. Just because I’m more dedicated to my goal than most people doesn’t mean I’m about to turn into some genocidal maniac. That’s a bit far, don’t you think.”
Leonard smiled gently at me. “You’re right,” he sighed. “I shouldn’t be saying things like that. You are a great person, and I’m sure you’ll go on to do great things. But I would like you to keep my words in mind, especially as you progress further and further down the road you have chosen.” He paused again, as if considering his words, before continuing. “I don’t think even you understand just how potent your drive is. I don’t think you quite understand just how your life has broken you, moulded you into what you are.”
The doubt in my gaze must have been obvious, as he went on after reading my face. “Take this whole experience, for example,” he said. “Ruby, your entire planet was murdered, and you were just whisked away from the only home you’ve known and put on this ship in the middle of space, headed to a planet you’ve never heard of. And to top it all off, you’ve discovered an ability to make literal fire come out of your body, something I assume you didn’t even know was possible on Earth. And you’ve taken the whole thing in stride, Ruby. You almost immediately accepted everything, and even threw yourself into this strange new universe.”
I flushed a little under his praise, although I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little bit confused as well. “Uh, thanks?” I said, my tone questioning. “I guess.”
Leonard shook his head. “That’s not a good thing, Ruby. That’s not healthy. You shouldn’t be taking this so well. You should be confused and lost and having a hard time adjusting. That’s indicative of a healthy mind. Why do you think you’ve seen such few people around?”
I shrugged. “I dunno. Didn’t really put much thought to it.”
“It’s because most of them are holed up in their rooms, with the few people they know. Some of them are in denial, others have accepted that this is real but aren’t quite ready to…accept it, really. That’s normal, Ruby. I’ve seen it more times than I’ve cared to count. When planets have to be evacuated, for some reason or the other, even the migration from one planet to the next can take people months to get adjusted to. But those people were at least aware of the wider universe, and the general common sense of it. To have gone through a catastrophe orchestrated by the Insect Monarch himself is traumatic enough experience on its own, but to be introduced to this wide universe on top of it all must be an experience beyond disorienting.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “All that means is that I’m more adaptable, right? That I’m stronger, more driven. How is any of that a bad thing? When you’re aiming for the greatest highest imaginable, you don’t have time to spend moping around when things are going crazy. You need a dedication that’ll carry you through even the most bizarre, traumatic events.” There was an anger creeping into me, or perhaps a defensiveness, that surprised me. Most people would probably react similarly if they were accused of being anything not normal, but the potency of the emotion rising within me was beyond my expectations.
Something deep within the recesses of my consciousness whispered that my reaction hinted at an important problem, but at the moment, I did not care to try and unravel the cause of my emotions.
“Exactly,” Leonard agreed, oblivious to the emotion within me, “that’s what I’m trying to prove to you. I’m saying that you possess within you a more powerful drive than even you yourself understand, as a result of the hellish life you’ve lived. And there is a danger that comes with being driven, one that becomes more and more dangerous the stronger a person’s drive is. When a mage’s thirst for power overcomes their values, when they place it above their morals, they have taken the first step towards ridding themselves of what makes them human. The first step in their descent from humanity.”
“So what are you telling me to do?” I asked.
“Just…” Leonard started, looking at me with a complicated gaze. “Just be careful. If I’m being entirely honest, based on what I’ve seen in the three weeks I’ve known you, I can only really see two outcomes for your near future. Either you go further than most people you do faster than most, and gain power the likes of which you probably can’t even imagine right now, or you die an early, unfortunate death at the hands of fate. Because even in the cradle of Grand Order City, even on Adonis, there are ways people can die from which no one can save them.”
“Huh?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
“Even on the safest planets, there are people who can do anything they want, who are above any law. People who even the Grand Order wouldn’t want to mess with. Attracting their ire is, more often than not, a fatal mistake and, unfortunately, not something very difficult to do. Not to mention, the road to strength itself is beyond perilous, a river that feeds into death all too often. Every step is like walking on a tightrope, where a single slip means the end. But if you make it past all that, if fate does not claim you before you can fully mature, I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will reach heights greater than even I can imagine.”
I smiled at him, sure this time that it was a compliment. “Thanks.”
“But that is why I warn you, Ruby. Because I can see the potential within you. But every genocidal, moral-less egotistical maniac was once simply a broken child, with the same raw mass of potential. But when they have no morals to guide them, they all arrive at the same truth: that no price is too high for an improvement in their strength, even if it means causing the death of countless innocents.” Leonard sighed. “It is a harsh truth, one that maybe I shouldn’t even be saying to you, one that is certainly not something you have to worry about for now. But I’d rather you hear of it as early as possible, so that you may watch yourself and catch yourself before making the same mistakes. ”
I stood in a contemplative silence for a moment, mulling over his weighty words. “So, basically, what you’re telling me is that I should watch myself because I have an unhealthy amount of dedication, and that puts me at a high risk of becoming someone like the Insect Monarch, someone who’ll do anything if it means getting a little bit stronger.”
Leonard cocked his head as he considered my dumbed-down summary, before nodding. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”
I smiled at him, a bright, sunny smile. “Well, you should’ve just said that. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ve only ever killed one person in my life, and I don’t plan on ever raising that number. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, and I don’t wish to repeat it. And no matter how badly I want to become stronger, I have some limits that I will never cross. And Ren’ll make sure of that, so even if I decide to go over the limit, he won’t let me.”
Leonard cast a doubtful glance at me. “Ren?” he asked with obvious skepticism. “Are you sure he’ll keep you in check?”
I laughed at his disbelief. “I’m sure,” I said with a smile. “He might seem flippant, but I’m sure about him. He’ll step up when I need him to.”
Leonard looked surprised at my absolute confidence, but quickly smiled and shook his head. “Very well then. I hope that he is the person you believe him to be, and that the both of you go far and live happy lives.”
I raised an eyebrow at that, but the question didn’t need to be asked.
“I’m going to be leaving soon,” Leonard explained. “I’ve been called onto a different ship for certain reasons. I’ll do my best to meet you again as soon as I can on Adonis, but I can’t say for sure when that’ll be. We still have a little while together, but I wanted to say a few things before I left. It’s not every day that you get to offer advice to someone who’ll be starting a brand new life, completely from scratch.”
“Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, actually,” I said. “I truly appreciate all the time you put into helping me out, really.”
Leonard shook his head against my thanks. “It was my pleasure, Ruby.”
With a thwack, my pole struck Leonard’s side hard enough to knock the burly man off balance, giving me just enough time to slip in a kick to his chest, finally bringing him to the ground. He landed flat on his back, the thud echoing in the empty room.
With a huff, Leonard sat himself up, a sweaty smile plastered on his face. “That’s another one for you,” he said between heavy breaths.
“Nineteen to eleven, huh,” I responded, breathing just as hard as him. “I’m right on your tail.”
Leonard laughed. “You wish. I just felt bad beating you so badly, so I’m letting you catch up a little.”
I grinned in response. “Says the guy on the floor right now.”
“Fair enough,” Leonard sighed. “I had a feeling the day would come that I would start getting knocked down, but I never thought it would come so early. To think that after twenty years of training, I would get bested so easily by someone almost entirely self-trained. My teachers would be so disappointed.”
“Ok, that’s just too much,” I said, flushing under the praise. “First of all, you probably spent most of those twenty years training with your affinity, so these pure combat fights say nothing of how strong you actually are. Not to mention, most of my improvement has come from your teaching.”
My last point was in no way an exaggeration. The three weeks of training I’d done so far under Leonard had seen far more improvement than the countless fights I’d fought at the Fight House and on the streets. Those fights had been useful in their own way, but learning the technicalities of the craft had polished up the raw experience I had and moulded it into something even I was proud of.
Of course, I knew Leonard was far stronger than he was letting on, and while I appreciated that he was willing to swallow his pride to let me see my own improvement, the fact that he did so only fueled the fire that pushed me to get stronger.
Leonard grunted as he pushed himself up to his feet, smiling at my words. “Speaking of which, how far along are you with your affinity? I can’t wait for the day I get to fight you with elemental Flux.”
I laughed. “Oh, that’s still a ways off. I can barely keep a candle-sized flame alive for longer than half an hour.”
“You’d be surprised at how fast you progress later on," Leonard said, smiling in encouragement. "The first stages are always the hardest. Not to mention, getting as far as you have gotten within three weeks is a feat you should be proud of. Not many mages are as dedicated as you are.”
I shook my head. “But I still need to go faster. I need to be able to throw a projectile by the time I get to Adonis. And I don’t have much time left now, do I?”
Leonard angled his head slightly as he thought. “We should still have about a week. We’ll be passing the wild planet Argonis soon, and Adonis is only about a few days of travel from there.”
I nodded, my face blank as I sank into my thoughts. It seemed unlikely, now more than ever, that I would achieve my goal. “Well,” I said with a smile, “suppose that just means I have to double down, huh? No more dinners for me, I guess.”
Leonard snapped his gaze to me as he heard, fixing me with an admonishing glare, but I spoke before he could scold me.
“I’m joking,” I said with a laugh. “I’d like to achieve my goal, but I won’t kill myself for it.”
“Good,” Leonard said. “There’s a fine line between determination and insanity, Ruby. And to strive for strength is to risk crossing that line every day. Be mindful of that.”
I grinned at him. “More poetry?” I asked.
Leonard huffed. “No, not really,” he said, his voice more serious than I had expected. “Just something I’ve come to understand over the years. People with the kind of drive you have, who’ve lived the kind of life you have, often spend their lives toeing that line. And I’ve seen what can happen to people who fall off to the other end. Their thirst for strength becomes all-consuming, above any other moral in their life. That’s how you get people like the Insect Monarch, people who’ve fallen to a level where the life of another person is worth nothing. People who are willing to sacrifice anything if it means becoming a little bit stronger.”
I scoffed at his words. “Oh, come on Leonard, I’m not that crazy. Just because I’m more dedicated to my goal than most people doesn’t mean I’m about to turn into some genocidal maniac. That’s a bit far, don’t you think.”
Leonard smiled gently at me. “You’re right,” he sighed. “I shouldn’t be saying things like that. You are a great person, and I’m sure you’ll go on to do great things. But I would like you to keep my words in mind, especially as you progress further and further down the road you have chosen.” He paused again, as if considering his words, before continuing. “I don’t think even you understand just how potent your drive is. I don’t think you quite understand just how your life has broken you, moulded you into what you are.”
The doubt in my gaze must have been obvious, as he went on after reading my face. “Take this whole experience, for example,” he said. “Ruby, your entire planet was murdered, and you were just whisked away from the only home you’ve known and put on this ship in the middle of space, headed to a planet you’ve never heard of. And to top it all off, you’ve discovered an ability to make literal fire come out of your body, something I assume you didn’t even know was possible on Earth. And you’ve taken the whole thing in stride, Ruby. You almost immediately accepted everything, and even threw yourself into this strange new universe.”
I flushed a little under his praise, although I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little bit confused as well. “Uh, thanks?” I said, my tone questioning. “I guess.”
Leonard shook his head. “That’s not a good thing, Ruby. That’s not healthy. You shouldn’t be taking this so well. You should be confused and lost and having a hard time adjusting. That’s indicative of a healthy mind. Why do you think you’ve seen such few people around?”
I shrugged. “I dunno. Didn’t really put much thought to it.”
“It’s because most of them are holed up in their rooms, with the few people they know. Some of them are in denial, others have accepted that this is real but aren’t quite ready to…accept it, really. That’s normal, Ruby. I’ve seen it more times than I’ve cared to count. When planets have to be evacuated, for some reason or the other, even the migration from one planet to the next can take people months to get adjusted to. But those people were at least aware of the wider universe, and the general common sense of it. To have gone through a catastrophe orchestrated by the Insect Monarch himself is traumatic enough experience on its own, but to be introduced to this wide universe on top of it all must be an experience beyond disorienting.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “All that means is that I’m more adaptable, right? That I’m stronger, more driven. How is any of that a bad thing? When you’re aiming for the greatest highest imaginable, you don’t have time to spend moping around when things are going crazy. You need a dedication that’ll carry you through even the most bizarre, traumatic events.” There was an anger creeping into me, or perhaps a defensiveness, that surprised me. Most people would probably react similarly if they were accused of being anything not normal, but the potency of the emotion rising within me was beyond my expectations.
Something deep within the recesses of my consciousness whispered that my reaction hinted at an important problem, but at the moment, I did not care to try and unravel the cause of my emotions.
“Exactly,” Leonard agreed, oblivious to the emotion within me, “that’s what I’m trying to prove to you. I’m saying that you possess within you a more powerful drive than even you yourself understand, as a result of the hellish life you’ve lived. And there is a danger that comes with being driven, one that becomes more and more dangerous the stronger a person’s drive is. When a mage’s thirst for power overcomes their values, when they place it above their morals, they have taken the first step towards ridding themselves of what makes them human. The first step in their descent from humanity.”
“So what are you telling me to do?” I asked.
“Just…” Leonard started, looking at me with a complicated gaze. “Just be careful. If I’m being entirely honest, based on what I’ve seen in the three weeks I’ve known you, I can only really see two outcomes for your near future. Either you go further than most people you do faster than most, and gain power the likes of which you probably can’t even imagine right now, or you die an early, unfortunate death at the hands of fate. Because even in the cradle of Grand Order City, even on Adonis, there are ways people can die from which no one can save them.”
“Huh?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
“Even on the safest planets, there are people who can do anything they want, who are above any law. People who even the Grand Order wouldn’t want to mess with. Attracting their ire is, more often than not, a fatal mistake and, unfortunately, not something very difficult to do. Not to mention, the road to strength itself is beyond perilous, a river that feeds into death all too often. Every step is like walking on a tightrope, where a single slip means the end. But if you make it past all that, if fate does not claim you before you can fully mature, I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will reach heights greater than even I can imagine.”
I smiled at him, sure this time that it was a compliment. “Thanks.”
“But that is why I warn you, Ruby. Because I can see the potential within you. But every genocidal, moral-less egotistical maniac was once simply a broken child, with the same raw mass of potential. But when they have no morals to guide them, they all arrive at the same truth: that no price is too high for an improvement in their strength, even if it means causing the death of countless innocents.” Leonard sighed. “It is a harsh truth, one that maybe I shouldn’t even be saying to you, one that is certainly not something you have to worry about for now. But I’d rather you hear of it as early as possible, so that you may watch yourself and catch yourself before making the same mistakes. ”
I stood in a contemplative silence for a moment, mulling over his weighty words. “So, basically, what you’re telling me is that I should watch myself because I have an unhealthy amount of dedication, and that puts me at a high risk of becoming someone like the Insect Monarch, someone who’ll do anything if it means getting a little bit stronger.”
Leonard cocked his head as he considered my dumbed-down summary, before nodding. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”
I smiled at him, a bright, sunny smile. “Well, you should’ve just said that. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ve only ever killed one person in my life, and I don’t plan on ever raising that number. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, and I don’t wish to repeat it. And no matter how badly I want to become stronger, I have some limits that I will never cross. And Ren’ll make sure of that, so even if I decide to go over the limit, he won’t let me.”
Leonard cast a doubtful glance at me. “Ren?” he asked with obvious skepticism. “Are you sure he’ll keep you in check?”
I laughed at his disbelief. “I’m sure,” I said with a smile. “He might seem flippant, but I’m sure about him. He’ll step up when I need him to.”
Leonard looked surprised at my absolute confidence, but quickly smiled and shook his head. “Very well then. I hope that he is the person you believe him to be, and that the both of you go far and live happy lives.”
I raised an eyebrow at that, but the question didn’t need to be asked.
“I’m going to be leaving soon,” Leonard explained. “I’ve been called onto a different ship for certain reasons. I’ll do my best to meet you again as soon as I can on Adonis, but I can’t say for sure when that’ll be. We still have a little while together, but I wanted to say a few things before I left. It’s not every day that you get to offer advice to someone who’ll be starting a brand new life, completely from scratch.”
“Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, actually,” I said. “I truly appreciate all the time you put into helping me out, really.”
Leonard shook his head against my thanks. “It was my pleasure, Ruby.”
