Chapter 203
Translator: yun
Castor’s golden eyes pointed at the girl. Smiling, he continued staring at her before slowly raising her hand. Suddenly, his grip on her hand tightened giving her no chance of escaping.
“Because I want you.”
“… Why?”
“Have you ever raised a bird before?”
A bird? A huge birdcage and a person. There was something that came to mind. The First Emperor who was trapped by the Lord of the Gods and could never leave the palace for the rest of their life. Why was she reminded of the roles they had been playing just earlier today? There was no way of knowing.
“I have this desire to be the only one who can view this beautiful bird of mine.”
With her voice trembling, Ashley barely managed to speak.
“Do you love me?”
She tried to ask him calmly but her voice was shaking so much it was clear that she was anything but calm. Castor grabbed her trembling hand tightly. With emotionless eyes, he looked down at their hands.
“Well.”
Castor neither denied nor affirmed her question. He smiled slowly and languidly.
“Rather, I want to hear your answer to my proposal.”
When she first arrived here, the girl thought that the plot of the original novel had changed. When she saw the empty rooftop, her heart had sunk. Since Rusbella didn’t come to the rooftop–since no one else came to the rooftop, she thought that the plot of the original novel had changed.
‘But Castor was here with someone.’
That was what he claimed. If that person had been Rusbella, the plot of the original novel had not changed. It meant that the novel existed. Nothing was going to change. If Castor’s feelings for Rusbella were sincerely his own and if he was going to eventually become possessive over her, it was likely that he was going to love her so violently that he was willing to give everything else up for her just like how it was in the <Light of Rusbella>. In the end, he had devoted his life to Rusbella. To the point where his death marked the end of the story.
‘So, it couldn’t be.’
She wanted to believe but even now, she couldn’t fully clear her doubts. The fact that she didn’t manage to see the female lead with her own eyes bothered her. Fear crept up her body from her feet and squeezed her heart tightly. This shadow that was squeezing her neck and her ribs tightly was misfortune.
‘Why? Why didn’t my life become the original novel?’
Since she wasn’t a character in the original novel, there wasn’t a single page that included her. She knew all the characters based on what was written about them in the pages but she knew nothing about herself. She had been wandering about without knowing which direction to go or where she was going.
“But…”
But still… Even if that was the case…
Ashley opened her eyes that had already been dipped in fear. But she felt anew as if she had just woken up from her sleep.
“No… Why should you have a-any power over my life?”
She knew whatever she was saying was out of her selfishness. Castor might kill her at any moment now out of anger. In fact, this might be the end of the line for the unknown princess in the original novel.
“Why… do I have to go along with your whims?”
“…..”
“T-T-This is my life.”
Fear twisted Ashley’s expression; She was trembling like a tree in the wind but she did not bend over.
“Y-You can’t ruin it at your whim. Rather than being a bird in a cage…”
The moment she brought this up, the fact that she might regret this popped into her head. Nevertheless, she swept her lips with the back of her hand to reveal a smile drenched in fear.
“I’d run away from you even if I end up dying.”
Just then, a bone-chilling sound echoed through the space. The door was creaking and swinging against the wind as someone stuck their head out from the rusty ajar door.
“Who’s there? This is a prohibited area!”
The intruder seemed to be a soldier. Once he noticed the navy blue tunic, Castor narrowed his eyes. Castor glanced at Ashley once more before bringing his attention back to the man. Ashley noticed how a bright smile slowly spread on his face. At that moment, Ashley had unknowingly grabbed Castor’s hand because an ominous feeling crept up her chest.
“Wait.”
She didn’t know why. The thought of stopping him occurred to her before she could process it. However, Castor was too fast.
“Wait. W-Wait, C-Castor!”
“Wait here.”
With just a whisper, her hand fell off of his. Ashley hurriedly tried to catch him again but something felt amiss. Even though it was her hand, it didn’t feel like it was hers. This was Castor’s power. He had paralysed Ashley with his divinity so that he could stand in front of the intruder without any issue.
“W-Who are you?”
“Ashley, just watch.”
Ashley’s eyes widened till it looked as if her eyes were going to pop out of her socket.
The intruder coughed and gasped for air as he barely managed to splutter, “S-save me…!”
Even in the dark, she could clearly see the silhouette of the man as he collapsed on the ground. The intruder seemed to have been suffering as he scratched at his neck. Clang. What had fallen was the intruder’s sword that he had originally been holding. Castor bent over to pick it up before swivelling his body around.
“W-What…”
The sword and Castor. Her purple eyes trembled without stopping. Her head felt like it was about to split. No. No! That was all that filled her head. She tried to move her body quickly but she couldn’t. In the meantime, Castor lifted the sword.
“What do I mean to you?”
She could hear a bell chime loudly. It was a sound only she could hear. It sounded as if the bell was ringing in her ear and the noise was echoing through her head like a broken radio.
“Seriously, if you were this upset, you should have found a way… to avoid me. I have no obligation to be nice to someone who’s too lazy to find a way, right? It’s because you couldn’t, you would have to die.”
The voice that kept ringing in her head seemed to belong to Castor. It smelled like blood. That was when she realised. Even though she had never seen a pool of blood before, she recognised the smell of blood.
‘How do I know what blood smelled like?’
Ashley asked herself. Her vision dimmed. She felt like she was going insane. There was a man struggling from pain just in front of her. He was suffering even though he had no relation to any of this. And then there was Castor who was still standing in front of the man. He was still holding the sword. Castor smiled ecstatically.
“Are you watching?”
“W-What have you done to me?”
“Nothing.”
The tip of the blade pointed at the collapsed man. It approached the man’s neck as if Castor was planning to slice his neck. Even though she was in pain, Ashley could not hold back and screamed.
“Stop. Stop it!”
His gaze slowly shifted to her. Even with her dimmed vision, she could tell that Castor wanted something from her. She was strangely certain of it.
“Do you want to save him?”
Castor stretched the sword towards him. The hesitating girl locked gazes with the golden-eyed man. At her nod, a bright light dyed his irises before quickly swirling towards his center like a whirlpool. Just then, her body collapsed. Ashley was panting.
“Then, remember.”
As he held the sword, Castor smiled.
“Are you going to rid yourself of his blessing? Amor’s going to be sad.”
Ashley stretched her hand towards him. But she couldn’t reach him because she was too far away.
“But there is a world of which only you and I are aware of. The world you wish to forget. Can you recall memories that go beyond your death?”
Each time Castor says something, she could hear another voice in her head. Like an echo. Strangely enough, the voice echoing in her head was also Castor’s. In her memories, Castor was smiling brightly as he stood before Hannah’s dead body.
“Do you want to live? I can let you if you want to. If you’re willing to live in a palace where only corpses and the smell of blood remain.”
But this was something she did not remember.
“I will hang this woman’s head on the biggest door in your palace. You will fall asleep whilst staring at her hair dangling above you.
“I-I don’t want to be the only one alive!”
“Then, your only option is to die.”
Their voices overlapped over and over and over again, making it impossible to distinguish which voice was real. Unable to stand the pain, she curled into a ball. A sob burst out of a girl. Nevertheless, she tried to see what was happening before her in clarity.
‘Do I… Do I have to remember?’
She would only regret it if she remembered. That was what her note to herself emphasised. But if she wasn’t going to recall her memories, that person would die. Castor’s intentions behind his smile was clear. Just then, someone whispered.
“You can just turn a blind eye.”
Should she? The girl muttered. She rested her forehead on the ground.
“You can be happy if you just turn a blind eye.”
If she didn’t recall her memories, that man would die. If she turned a blind eye to someone else to protect herself, would she still be herself? Letting someone else die for her own sake? Somewhere in her heart, her conscience was shaking her head. As if to say she absolutely mustn’t.
“You’ve always done your best.”
But that warm voice comforted her as if to say that everything was alright.
‘Whose… whose voice was that?’
In the distance, she spotted a deep purple circle of light gleaming under her feet. It was her diary. Light wrapped around her shoulders and her neck before floating up into the air. As if it was trying to protect the girl. Castor also noticed it. The smile disappeared from his face.
‘That annoying little…’
A gust of wind fluttered the hem of his toga. His dark hair was slapping his cheeks. Castor swung his sword in the air. Only groans of pain filled the space. Only the unknown soldier was making sounds. As he stared at the stranger, Castor spoke without any emotion.
“I thought that you weren’t that bad considering the fact that you’ve lost your memories.”
“Stop.”
“It wasn’t so bad to see you not staring at me with hatred.”
“Stop,” the girl muttered.
She could feel something trailing down her cheek.
“You’re the one who rejected my offer. So, you don’t need to remember anymore.”
She could see the sword point at the sky before the blade swung down. Just then, something sharp blocked his blow.
Clang.
The sword fell.
Castor looked down at his trembling hands. The back of his hand was red. It looked like a burn. But it seemed as if he didn’t care about the pain as he slowly turned his head around. That was something she hadn’t expected to see.
Ashley placed her hand on the open book. She couldn’t see what expression he had on his face as her head was lowered. However, the poorly crumpled pages gave her an indication of the situation.
Castor was a smart man. He could understand the situation with just some hints. By the time he arrived at the answer, the purple light which the pages had been subtly enveloped in floated around the girl. The light then slowly faded.
Drip drop.
Raindrops fell on the page. No, they were her tears flowing down from her cheek.
“Hello, Ashley.”
Tears of RedI slowly raised my head to see the corners of the lips of the man in front of me rise little by little. It felt like time had frozen along with the air. Something flowed down my cheeks as a flurry of memories settled in my mind.
My memories were back. The days when I died over and over and over again. Nightmares filled the empty spaces on the shelves in my memories. Once again, I suffered through my deaths as my memories returned. As my forty or so deaths passed me by in a flash, I felt like throwing up all the emotions filling up my empty heart.
Boom.
The final firework burst in the sky. It was purple in colour to symbolise the princess. Under the tower, people were holding hands and singing. They were singing a beautiful song of love. It sounded melodious and delightful as they praised their beautiful princess. And that same beauty could only laugh breathlessly in the shadows at how she ended up in this mess.
Ah.
“You evil…”
Streams of tears flowed down my cheek. I could only laugh as I cried.
“Bastard.”
His brilliant golden eyes swirled and shook as if his irises had indeed turned into pure melted gold. Traces of the fireworks were reflected off his eyes making them seem like a kaleidoscope.
“There is a world of which only you and I are aware of. The world you wish to forget. Can you recall memories that go beyond your death?”
I closed my eyes. I hoped that it wasn’t some crazy idea. No, how could I not know? It was no different from the proof that Castor presented himself. He only said that because he wanted me to know. The pages of the diary had been badly crumpled up. I felt like choking up. I wanted to scream.
“It seems like you already know everything.”
Castor smiled enchantingly.
Chapter 203
Translator: yun
Castor’s golden eyes pointed at the girl. Smiling, he continued staring at her before slowly raising her hand. Suddenly, his grip on her hand tightened giving her no chance of escaping.
“Because I want you.”
“… Why?”
“Have you ever raised a bird before?”
A bird? A huge birdcage and a person. There was something that came to mind. The First Emperor who was trapped by the Lord of the Gods and could never leave the palace for the rest of their life. Why was she reminded of the roles they had been playing just earlier today? There was no way of knowing.
“I have this desire to be the only one who can view this beautiful bird of mine.”
With her voice trembling, Ashley barely managed to speak.
“Do you love me?”
She tried to ask him calmly but her voice was shaking so much it was clear that she was anything but calm. Castor grabbed her trembling hand tightly. With emotionless eyes, he looked down at their hands.
“Well.”
Castor neither denied nor affirmed her question. He smiled slowly and languidly.
“Rather, I want to hear your answer to my proposal.”
When she first arrived here, the girl thought that the plot of the original novel had changed. When she saw the empty rooftop, her heart had sunk. Since Rusbella didn’t come to the rooftop–since no one else came to the rooftop, she thought that the plot of the original novel had changed.
‘But Castor was here with someone.’
That was what he claimed. If that person had been Rusbella, the plot of the original novel had not changed. It meant that the novel existed. Nothing was going to change. If Castor’s feelings for Rusbella were sincerely his own and if he was going to eventually become possessive over her, it was likely that he was going to love her so violently that he was willing to give everything else up for her just like how it was in the <Light of Rusbella>. In the end, he had devoted his life to Rusbella. To the point where his death marked the end of the story.
‘So, it couldn’t be.’
She wanted to believe but even now, she couldn’t fully clear her doubts. The fact that she didn’t manage to see the female lead with her own eyes bothered her. Fear crept up her body from her feet and squeezed her heart tightly. This shadow that was squeezing her neck and her ribs tightly was misfortune.
‘Why? Why didn’t my life become the original novel?’
Since she wasn’t a character in the original novel, there wasn’t a single page that included her. She knew all the characters based on what was written about them in the pages but she knew nothing about herself. She had been wandering about without knowing which direction to go or where she was going.
“But…”
But still… Even if that was the case…
Ashley opened her eyes that had already been dipped in fear. But she felt anew as if she had just woken up from her sleep.
“No… Why should you have a-any power over my life?”
She knew whatever she was saying was out of her selfishness. Castor might kill her at any moment now out of anger. In fact, this might be the end of the line for the unknown princess in the original novel.
“Why… do I have to go along with your whims?”
“…..”
“T-T-This is my life.”
Fear twisted Ashley’s expression; She was trembling like a tree in the wind but she did not bend over.
“Y-You can’t ruin it at your whim. Rather than being a bird in a cage…”
The moment she brought this up, the fact that she might regret this popped into her head. Nevertheless, she swept her lips with the back of her hand to reveal a smile drenched in fear.
“I’d run away from you even if I end up dying.”
Just then, a bone-chilling sound echoed through the space. The door was creaking and swinging against the wind as someone stuck their head out from the rusty ajar door.
“Who’s there? This is a prohibited area!”
The intruder seemed to be a soldier. Once he noticed the navy blue tunic, Castor narrowed his eyes. Castor glanced at Ashley once more before bringing his attention back to the man. Ashley noticed how a bright smile slowly spread on his face. At that moment, Ashley had unknowingly grabbed Castor’s hand because an ominous feeling crept up her chest.
“Wait.”
She didn’t know why. The thought of stopping him occurred to her before she could process it. However, Castor was too fast.
“Wait. W-Wait, C-Castor!”
“Wait here.”
With just a whisper, her hand fell off of his. Ashley hurriedly tried to catch him again but something felt amiss. Even though it was her hand, it didn’t feel like it was hers. This was Castor’s power. He had paralysed Ashley with his divinity so that he could stand in front of the intruder without any issue.
“W-Who are you?”
“Ashley, just watch.”
Ashley’s eyes widened till it looked as if her eyes were going to pop out of her socket.
The intruder coughed and gasped for air as he barely managed to splutter, “S-save me…!”
Even in the dark, she could clearly see the silhouette of the man as he collapsed on the ground. The intruder seemed to have been suffering as he scratched at his neck. Clang. What had fallen was the intruder’s sword that he had originally been holding. Castor bent over to pick it up before swivelling his body around.
“W-What…”
The sword and Castor. Her purple eyes trembled without stopping. Her head felt like it was about to split. No. No! That was all that filled her head. She tried to move her body quickly but she couldn’t. In the meantime, Castor lifted the sword.
“What do I mean to you?”
She could hear a bell chime loudly. It was a sound only she could hear. It sounded as if the bell was ringing in her ear and the noise was echoing through her head like a broken radio.
“Seriously, if you were this upset, you should have found a way… to avoid me. I have no obligation to be nice to someone who’s too lazy to find a way, right? It’s because you couldn’t, you would have to die.”
The voice that kept ringing in her head seemed to belong to Castor. It smelled like blood. That was when she realised. Even though she had never seen a pool of blood before, she recognised the smell of blood.
‘How do I know what blood smelled like?’
Ashley asked herself. Her vision dimmed. She felt like she was going insane. There was a man struggling from pain just in front of her. He was suffering even though he had no relation to any of this. And then there was Castor who was still standing in front of the man. He was still holding the sword. Castor smiled ecstatically.
“Are you watching?”
“W-What have you done to me?”
“Nothing.”
The tip of the blade pointed at the collapsed man. It approached the man’s neck as if Castor was planning to slice his neck. Even though she was in pain, Ashley could not hold back and screamed.
“Stop. Stop it!”
His gaze slowly shifted to her. Even with her dimmed vision, she could tell that Castor wanted something from her. She was strangely certain of it.
“Do you want to save him?”
Castor stretched the sword towards him. The hesitating girl locked gazes with the golden-eyed man. At her nod, a bright light dyed his irises before quickly swirling towards his center like a whirlpool. Just then, her body collapsed. Ashley was panting.
“Then, remember.”
As he held the sword, Castor smiled.
“Are you going to rid yourself of his blessing? Amor’s going to be sad.”
Ashley stretched her hand towards him. But she couldn’t reach him because she was too far away.
“But there is a world of which only you and I are aware of. The world you wish to forget. Can you recall memories that go beyond your death?”
Each time Castor says something, she could hear another voice in her head. Like an echo. Strangely enough, the voice echoing in her head was also Castor’s. In her memories, Castor was smiling brightly as he stood before Hannah’s dead body.
“Do you want to live? I can let you if you want to. If you’re willing to live in a palace where only corpses and the smell of blood remain.”
But this was something she did not remember.
“I will hang this woman’s head on the biggest door in your palace. You will fall asleep whilst staring at her hair dangling above you.
“I-I don’t want to be the only one alive!”
“Then, your only option is to die.”
Their voices overlapped over and over and over again, making it impossible to distinguish which voice was real. Unable to stand the pain, she curled into a ball. A sob burst out of a girl. Nevertheless, she tried to see what was happening before her in clarity.
‘Do I… Do I have to remember?’
She would only regret it if she remembered. That was what her note to herself emphasised. But if she wasn’t going to recall her memories, that person would die. Castor’s intentions behind his smile was clear. Just then, someone whispered.
“You can just turn a blind eye.”
Should she? The girl muttered. She rested her forehead on the ground.
“You can be happy if you just turn a blind eye.”
If she didn’t recall her memories, that man would die. If she turned a blind eye to someone else to protect herself, would she still be herself? Letting someone else die for her own sake? Somewhere in her heart, her conscience was shaking her head. As if to say she absolutely mustn’t.
“You’ve always done your best.”
But that warm voice comforted her as if to say that everything was alright.
‘Whose… whose voice was that?’
In the distance, she spotted a deep purple circle of light gleaming under her feet. It was her diary. Light wrapped around her shoulders and her neck before floating up into the air. As if it was trying to protect the girl. Castor also noticed it. The smile disappeared from his face.
‘That annoying little…’
A gust of wind fluttered the hem of his toga. His dark hair was slapping his cheeks. Castor swung his sword in the air. Only groans of pain filled the space. Only the unknown soldier was making sounds. As he stared at the stranger, Castor spoke without any emotion.
“I thought that you weren’t that bad considering the fact that you’ve lost your memories.”
“Stop.”
“It wasn’t so bad to see you not staring at me with hatred.”
“Stop,” the girl muttered.
She could feel something trailing down her cheek.
“You’re the one who rejected my offer. So, you don’t need to remember anymore.”
She could see the sword point at the sky before the blade swung down. Just then, something sharp blocked his blow.
Clang.
The sword fell.
Castor looked down at his trembling hands. The back of his hand was red. It looked like a burn. But it seemed as if he didn’t care about the pain as he slowly turned his head around. That was something she hadn’t expected to see.
Ashley placed her hand on the open book. She couldn’t see what expression he had on his face as her head was lowered. However, the poorly crumpled pages gave her an indication of the situation.
Castor was a smart man. He could understand the situation with just some hints. By the time he arrived at the answer, the purple light which the pages had been subtly enveloped in floated around the girl. The light then slowly faded.
Drip drop.
Raindrops fell on the page. No, they were her tears flowing down from her cheek.
“Hello, Ashley.”
Tears of RedI slowly raised my head to see the corners of the lips of the man in front of me rise little by little. It felt like time had frozen along with the air. Something flowed down my cheeks as a flurry of memories settled in my mind.
My memories were back. The days when I died over and over and over again. Nightmares filled the empty spaces on the shelves in my memories. Once again, I suffered through my deaths as my memories returned. As my forty or so deaths passed me by in a flash, I felt like throwing up all the emotions filling up my empty heart.
Boom.
The final firework burst in the sky. It was purple in colour to symbolise the princess. Under the tower, people were holding hands and singing. They were singing a beautiful song of love. It sounded melodious and delightful as they praised their beautiful princess. And that same beauty could only laugh breathlessly in the shadows at how she ended up in this mess.
Ah.
“You evil…”
Streams of tears flowed down my cheek. I could only laugh as I cried.
“Bastard.”
His brilliant golden eyes swirled and shook as if his irises had indeed turned into pure melted gold. Traces of the fireworks were reflected off his eyes making them seem like a kaleidoscope.
“There is a world of which only you and I are aware of. The world you wish to forget. Can you recall memories that go beyond your death?”
I closed my eyes. I hoped that it wasn’t some crazy idea. No, how could I not know? It was no different from the proof that Castor presented himself. He only said that because he wanted me to know. The pages of the diary had been badly crumpled up. I felt like choking up. I wanted to scream.
“It seems like you already know everything.”
Castor smiled enchantingly.
