Cassidy could not believe that she forgot this particular trait of his.
All this time, Adrian looks like an indestructible fortress - impassive, unfeeling and enigmatic. But that's only how he looks on the outside. Staying by his side for many years had given her more than a glimpse of who he truly was. And what she saw at those times was this arrogant coward who kept acting like he could carry everything on his own like some god.
In reality, Adrian is the loneliest person Cassidy has ever seen.
At this very moment, he appears like he is barely holding onto a nonexistent glimmer of hope. He seems so, so exhausted that it shows through his wavering gaze, but he still tries to hide it by holding his ground and keeping himself together. Then, there is that look in his eyes - gone were the cold iciness and the fleeting happiness. He has been stripped all the way down to who he really is.
Adrian most probably thinks that he no longer deserves anything good in this world - not the love of his life nor the joy of living.
That pair of sapphires that she used to admire - they're so deep and blue that it reflects the hurt he's feeling. It's the look of someone who's so much in pain. Even though he's very good with hiding his true feelings, she knows him with all her heart, mind, and soul.
'And I know that you hate being alone even though you don't want to admit it. Yet for the last years, I was thinking you would eventually do fine as time passed by. You used to neglect me in the past, after all. I was thinking that you could go back to that if you tried...' she thought with a saddened, downcast gaze.
'But no matter how many times I tell you that you deserve to be happy, I get that you will never be.'
Adrian only remained standing there at a distance while Cassidy continued staring out to him for what seemed like a long moment.
Lost in her thoughts, she is not certain what to do from that point on. She is too drawn to him that she can no longer find it in herself to look away. And before she knew it, she suddenly went back to those times when she would spend what felt like an eternity just to behold him in all his perfect yet imperfect glory.
'Why? Why do I still feel this way? I was so sure that I was already okay. I was already happy with the way things were...' she then began to languish over and shudder at the staggering surge of agonizing heartaches that rushed within her all of the sudden.
'In the end, I still do love you. I don't want to leave you alone, after all. I don't want you to be this lonely for the rest of your life.'
Cassidy could not help but admit all of these despite her will - much like how she could not help but fall in love with Adrian way back when they were still younger.
---
"Hey, listen, big sis! I've got something to tell you!"
Cassidy decided to pick up Aira from school on the next day.
She could've brought her motorbike with her, but she felt like taking a stroll and getting a breather. It's just that there's a lot in her mind lately, and it's making her feel so down that she can no longer do the things she always does without thinking too much.
Fortunately, Aira likes to talk a lot - she can be a good distraction for Cassidy even when she still finds herself zoning out from time to time.
"You see, Damien and I were talking about something the other day. He wanted to get an advice from me, and though I did tell him that you're the one he should approach for that, he refused to go to you..." Aira muttered with a somewhat downhearted smile.
"Apparently, he wanted to ask what would be a good present."
"A present? Why? Is there someone who's gonna have their birthday?" Cassidy asked and tilted her head a little to the side.
"Geez, big sis! How could you?! Don't you remember?! Sir Adrian's birthday is tomorrow! That's why I told Damien that he should ask you for an advice instead of me!"
Cassidy froze at that.
With her eyes bulging wide and her mouth gaping in utter shock, she halted on her tracks. She couldn't believe that she forgot something so important - or more like, she'd been too caught up in her clutter of thoughts and storm of emotions that she almost forgot. That sudden reminder got her completely speechless and thunderstruck for the next seconds to come.
"Damien said that there isn't going to be any party, though. Ever since you left them, Sir Adrian never held a celebration for his birthday again..." Aira continued until she realized she might have said something insensitive.
"Oh, not that I'm blaming you, big sis! No one's blaming you! Promise! It was Sir Adrian who decided that on his own! Damien said that he didn't like holding a party, to begin with!"
"It's alright, Aira. I don't feel blamed. And you're right. He doesn't like parties that much..." Cassidy reassured her with an understanding smile.
"But a present, huh? Adrian isn't choosy. So, he'll probably like anything he'll give him, but that also kind of becomes the reason why it's hard to know what he really wants."
"No, it's not."
"Oh, really? Seems like I don't need to give you that advice, then."
"Everyone knows what he really wants, big sis. Maybe you're the only one who doesn't know."
"Huh? What is it exactly-"
"You, of course!"
When Aira bolted that out with a somewhat aggravated expression, Cassiy could only come to a still once more and blink at her in surprise and incredulity. She looks like she is already fed up with all these endless pinings and romantic tragedies.
"Sir Adrian wants you, big sis! That's not so hard to see!"
Cassidy could not believe that she forgot this particular trait of his.
All this time, Adrian looks like an indestructible fortress - impassive, unfeeling and enigmatic. But that's only how he looks on the outside. Staying by his side for many years had given her more than a glimpse of who he truly was. And what she saw at those times was this arrogant coward who kept acting like he could carry everything on his own like some god.
In reality, Adrian is the loneliest person Cassidy has ever seen.
At this very moment, he appears like he is barely holding onto a nonexistent glimmer of hope. He seems so, so exhausted that it shows through his wavering gaze, but he still tries to hide it by holding his ground and keeping himself together. Then, there is that look in his eyes - gone were the cold iciness and the fleeting happiness. He has been stripped all the way down to who he really is.
Adrian most probably thinks that he no longer deserves anything good in this world - not the love of his life nor the joy of living.
That pair of sapphires that she used to admire - they're so deep and blue that it reflects the hurt he's feeling. It's the look of someone who's so much in pain. Even though he's very good with hiding his true feelings, she knows him with all her heart, mind, and soul.
'And I know that you hate being alone even though you don't want to admit it. Yet for the last years, I was thinking you would eventually do fine as time passed by. You used to neglect me in the past, after all. I was thinking that you could go back to that if you tried...' she thought with a saddened, downcast gaze.
'But no matter how many times I tell you that you deserve to be happy, I get that you will never be.'
Adrian only remained standing there at a distance while Cassidy continued staring out to him for what seemed like a long moment.
Lost in her thoughts, she is not certain what to do from that point on. She is too drawn to him that she can no longer find it in herself to look away. And before she knew it, she suddenly went back to those times when she would spend what felt like an eternity just to behold him in all his perfect yet imperfect glory.
'Why? Why do I still feel this way? I was so sure that I was already okay. I was already happy with the way things were...' she then began to languish over and shudder at the staggering surge of agonizing heartaches that rushed within her all of the sudden.
'In the end, I still do love you. I don't want to leave you alone, after all. I don't want you to be this lonely for the rest of your life.'
Cassidy could not help but admit all of these despite her will - much like how she could not help but fall in love with Adrian way back when they were still younger.
---
"Hey, listen, big sis! I've got something to tell you!"
Cassidy decided to pick up Aira from school on the next day.
She could've brought her motorbike with her, but she felt like taking a stroll and getting a breather. It's just that there's a lot in her mind lately, and it's making her feel so down that she can no longer do the things she always does without thinking too much.
Fortunately, Aira likes to talk a lot - she can be a good distraction for Cassidy even when she still finds herself zoning out from time to time.
"You see, Damien and I were talking about something the other day. He wanted to get an advice from me, and though I did tell him that you're the one he should approach for that, he refused to go to you..." Aira muttered with a somewhat downhearted smile.
"Apparently, he wanted to ask what would be a good present."
"A present? Why? Is there someone who's gonna have their birthday?" Cassidy asked and tilted her head a little to the side.
"Geez, big sis! How could you?! Don't you remember?! Sir Adrian's birthday is tomorrow! That's why I told Damien that he should ask you for an advice instead of me!"
Cassidy froze at that.
With her eyes bulging wide and her mouth gaping in utter shock, she halted on her tracks. She couldn't believe that she forgot something so important - or more like, she'd been too caught up in her clutter of thoughts and storm of emotions that she almost forgot. That sudden reminder got her completely speechless and thunderstruck for the next seconds to come.
"Damien said that there isn't going to be any party, though. Ever since you left them, Sir Adrian never held a celebration for his birthday again..." Aira continued until she realized she might have said something insensitive.
"Oh, not that I'm blaming you, big sis! No one's blaming you! Promise! It was Sir Adrian who decided that on his own! Damien said that he didn't like holding a party, to begin with!"
"It's alright, Aira. I don't feel blamed. And you're right. He doesn't like parties that much..." Cassidy reassured her with an understanding smile.
"But a present, huh? Adrian isn't choosy. So, he'll probably like anything he'll give him, but that also kind of becomes the reason why it's hard to know what he really wants."
"No, it's not."
"Oh, really? Seems like I don't need to give you that advice, then."
"Everyone knows what he really wants, big sis. Maybe you're the only one who doesn't know."
"Huh? What is it exactly-"
"You, of course!"
When Aira bolted that out with a somewhat aggravated expression, Cassiy could only come to a still once more and blink at her in surprise and incredulity. She looks like she is already fed up with all these endless pinings and romantic tragedies.
"Sir Adrian wants you, big sis! That's not so hard to see!"
