Chapter 124: Merim
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Chapter 124: Merim
Bella stood at a beach. The warm sand shifted between her toes and the sun caressed her face, its orange-pink hue lighting the sky in brilliant sunset. The dirt and weariness from weeks of travel was gone, replaced only by comfort.
Gentle waves lapped against the shore before Bella before receding back into the sea, their white frothy caps mixing into the deep, seamless blue.
It was peaceful.
Bella felt at home, and that was rather odd. Shed never been to a beach before, and she only knew what one looked like from descriptions in books and from what others had told her.
Another wave lapped against the sand, this one pushing far enough to nip at her feet. She hopped back at the slight chill of the water. A soft laugh echoed out from behind Bella and she turned, raising her hands defensively.
Standing before her was a tall woman, her hands braced against the hilt of a massive, crystal sword. Glistening blue and green armor made of jagged gemstone covered her body, segmented at the joints to allow for movement while not leaving a single opening.
Her face was covered by a slanted visor that only revealed only her lips. Her hair hung damp over her shoulders like a mat of seaweed, and she smelled faintly of salt and fruit.
Who are you? Where am I? Bella asked.
I trust you would be displeased if I said that you were at the beach?
Bella sent the woman a flat stare. Yes. I would. I already gathered that much. But I dont think Im actually at a beach.
Then where do you think you are? The woman tilted her head to the side, and one corner of her lips quirked up in an amused grin.The debut release of this chapter happened at Ñøv€l-B1n.
My mind, maybe? Rilu did something to me. I assume that Im somehow looking into my own mind or something like that?
Very astute! That was actually quite fast.
So I am?
Oh, no. Youre completely wrong. But you came to a conclusion quickly. Thats good. Confidence will take you a great distance, and you can bluff your way through many things.
Bella scrunched her nose. A wave caught the back of her heels and she yelped, jumping into the air before she realized what it had been. The woman laughed again.
Are you going to tell me whats going on? Bella asked, edging away from the water to avoid getting surprised again.
You should learn to enjoy the moment more, the woman suggested. Take some advice from Chance. Your mind dwells only on the future, and it stops you from enjoying what already is. Dont you realize that, if you only look to tomorrow, then you will forget to see today?
Bella rubbed her brow and let out a sigh. I understand youre trying to be deep and philosophical because youre I dont know, but probably someone important. Im really not in the mood for it, though. Im trying to fix my Essence, and I dont know if Im on a time limit.
Impatient. Cant say I blame you, though. Your instincts are correct. In that case, we can speak more plainly. The womans sword sank into the ground and the sand closed in over it. She raised her hands in greeting, inclining her head. Greetings, Bella. You may call me Merim.
I take it that youre who Rilu sent me to see, then?
Merim nodded. I am the one you came to see, yes. You seek to fix your Path.
I do. Its damaged, and Ive done my best to repair it before, but I think Rilu is right. Ive swapped and modified things too many times, and Vexs influence hasnt helped at all. If I dont repair things now, then I might never get another chance.
Merim walked past Bella and stepped into the sea. The waves passed around her, frothing as they swirled around her armor. You are not incorrect. Your Path is gravely damaged.
So then you understand
However, Merim raised a finger, cutting Bella off. The reason your Path is damaged is none of the ones that you have stated.
What?
The only one in control of your Path is you, Bella. You asked me to speak plainly, so I will. Vex did horrible things to you, but he did not choose your Path for you. You chose your Path. Perhaps that was the right decision, perhaps it was not. But you chose it. Then, when you decided to change the direction in which you went, it was not Vexs influence that weakened your Path.
Bellas brow creased in confusion. I dont understand. Youre telling me the reason my Path is completely screwed up is because what, Im just terrible at cultivating?
It is not your skill with cultivation that is causing your difficulty. It is you.
Bella couldnt see Merims face, but she would have bet everything she owned that Merim was cocking an eyebrow in her direction.
Yes, Merim said.
I figured, Bella grumbled. Can you tell me what the thing I need to make a decision about is, at least?
No. Part of the decision is figuring out what it is that you lack.
Thats a stupid rule.
Merim shrugged. It is not a rule, but it is the truth. There is little I can do to help you beyond provide a companion with which to speak. My only suggestion is to think deeply and reach within yourself. Once you know your true feelings, then the rest will fall into place.
Bella didnt respond. The world felt hazy around her. A strange heaviness started to set into her limbs, pulling Bella toward the sand. Rilus warning still rung in her head. There was only a limited amount of time that she could be well, wherever she was.
What in the world is the question, though? Its got to be something to do with my Path, right?
Bella dug furiously through her mind in search of whatever it was she was meant to figure out. Her body continued to grow heavier, and the warm sand quickly lost its comfort as it dug into her knees painfully.
Seconds ticked by. Time felt like it had slowed to a crawl. Dozens of thoughts flashed through Bellas mind, each one vanishing as soon as it appeared. The haze crept further and further, encroaching into her thoughts and pulling them into the blur.
Something tells me that Im dead for good if I let this get much worse.
Perhaps it was the thick haze, or maybe it was just desperation. Something sparked in Bellas mind, and that tiny flash of inspiration in the thick fog delivered with it the question which was so obvious that it actually managed to annoy Bella even further. Merim had already told her what it was, even though she claimed that she hadnt.
I need to decide what the ocean means to me. That stupid ass philosophical question is meant to represent cultivation. The ocean is my Path the one that Vex has screwed with. The one that Ive desperately tried to change.
The proper answer was completely obvious. Accepting the ocean as it was and running into it, embracing her Essence properly would solve everything. And yet
Bellas lips pressed together so tightly that they turned white. She pushed herself upright, and the weight pressing down on her relented, almost as if it sensed that she had come to a conclusion.
I have the answer to your question, Bella ground out.
Merim smiled. What is it?
You asked what the ocean was.
And?
Its fucking water, Bella said. I dont give a shit about any of this garbage. You know what I care about? Protecting my friends. Im not the monster that Vex wanted me to be, even if thats my true Path or whatever. Ill be what I want to be.
The weight enveloping Bella vanished. At the same time, a loud crack split the beach. Merims armor shattered, falling away from her body and into the sea to reveal the tanned skin beneath it. Her helmet split down the center and the weeds enveloping her hair slithered away, revealing soft, golden locks.
Bella stared into a perfect reflection of herself.
That, Merim said, her smile growing wider. Is a real decision.
The sand parted before Bella, and the crystal sword that Merim had been leaning on rose up from within it, grinding to a halt just before Bellas chest. Merim nodded to the blade.
Take it.
I Im not sure I understand whats going on, Bella said. Youre me?
No. Im your Essence, Merim said, letting out a pealing laugh. And you said it yourself. Its crazy to expect to understand everything this early on. You arent a god yet. Just remember what your Path is. Its not just protecting others. Its not just being a deadly warrior. Its being what you want to be. You dont have to compromise your desires.
Bella looked down at the sword. Then a smile passed over her own features.
She reached out and wrapped her hand around the hilt of the blade.
The world shattered in a roar of Essence.
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Chapter 124: Merim
Bella stood at a beach. The warm sand shifted between her toes and the sun caressed her face, its orange-pink hue lighting the sky in brilliant sunset. The dirt and weariness from weeks of travel was gone, replaced only by comfort.
Gentle waves lapped against the shore before Bella before receding back into the sea, their white frothy caps mixing into the deep, seamless blue.
It was peaceful.
Bella felt at home, and that was rather odd. Shed never been to a beach before, and she only knew what one looked like from descriptions in books and from what others had told her.
Another wave lapped against the sand, this one pushing far enough to nip at her feet. She hopped back at the slight chill of the water. A soft laugh echoed out from behind Bella and she turned, raising her hands defensively.
Standing before her was a tall woman, her hands braced against the hilt of a massive, crystal sword. Glistening blue and green armor made of jagged gemstone covered her body, segmented at the joints to allow for movement while not leaving a single opening.
Her face was covered by a slanted visor that only revealed only her lips. Her hair hung damp over her shoulders like a mat of seaweed, and she smelled faintly of salt and fruit.
Who are you? Where am I? Bella asked.
I trust you would be displeased if I said that you were at the beach?
Bella sent the woman a flat stare. Yes. I would. I already gathered that much. But I dont think Im actually at a beach.
Then where do you think you are? The woman tilted her head to the side, and one corner of her lips quirked up in an amused grin.The debut release of this chapter happened at Ñøv€l-B1n.
My mind, maybe? Rilu did something to me. I assume that Im somehow looking into my own mind or something like that?
Very astute! That was actually quite fast.
So I am?
Oh, no. Youre completely wrong. But you came to a conclusion quickly. Thats good. Confidence will take you a great distance, and you can bluff your way through many things.
Bella scrunched her nose. A wave caught the back of her heels and she yelped, jumping into the air before she realized what it had been. The woman laughed again.
Are you going to tell me whats going on? Bella asked, edging away from the water to avoid getting surprised again.
You should learn to enjoy the moment more, the woman suggested. Take some advice from Chance. Your mind dwells only on the future, and it stops you from enjoying what already is. Dont you realize that, if you only look to tomorrow, then you will forget to see today?
Bella rubbed her brow and let out a sigh. I understand youre trying to be deep and philosophical because youre I dont know, but probably someone important. Im really not in the mood for it, though. Im trying to fix my Essence, and I dont know if Im on a time limit.
Impatient. Cant say I blame you, though. Your instincts are correct. In that case, we can speak more plainly. The womans sword sank into the ground and the sand closed in over it. She raised her hands in greeting, inclining her head. Greetings, Bella. You may call me Merim.
I take it that youre who Rilu sent me to see, then?
Merim nodded. I am the one you came to see, yes. You seek to fix your Path.
I do. Its damaged, and Ive done my best to repair it before, but I think Rilu is right. Ive swapped and modified things too many times, and Vexs influence hasnt helped at all. If I dont repair things now, then I might never get another chance.
Merim walked past Bella and stepped into the sea. The waves passed around her, frothing as they swirled around her armor. You are not incorrect. Your Path is gravely damaged.
So then you understand
However, Merim raised a finger, cutting Bella off. The reason your Path is damaged is none of the ones that you have stated.
What?
The only one in control of your Path is you, Bella. You asked me to speak plainly, so I will. Vex did horrible things to you, but he did not choose your Path for you. You chose your Path. Perhaps that was the right decision, perhaps it was not. But you chose it. Then, when you decided to change the direction in which you went, it was not Vexs influence that weakened your Path.
Bellas brow creased in confusion. I dont understand. Youre telling me the reason my Path is completely screwed up is because what, Im just terrible at cultivating?
It is not your skill with cultivation that is causing your difficulty. It is you.
Bella couldnt see Merims face, but she would have bet everything she owned that Merim was cocking an eyebrow in her direction.
Yes, Merim said.
I figured, Bella grumbled. Can you tell me what the thing I need to make a decision about is, at least?
No. Part of the decision is figuring out what it is that you lack.
Thats a stupid rule.
Merim shrugged. It is not a rule, but it is the truth. There is little I can do to help you beyond provide a companion with which to speak. My only suggestion is to think deeply and reach within yourself. Once you know your true feelings, then the rest will fall into place.
Bella didnt respond. The world felt hazy around her. A strange heaviness started to set into her limbs, pulling Bella toward the sand. Rilus warning still rung in her head. There was only a limited amount of time that she could be well, wherever she was.
What in the world is the question, though? Its got to be something to do with my Path, right?
Bella dug furiously through her mind in search of whatever it was she was meant to figure out. Her body continued to grow heavier, and the warm sand quickly lost its comfort as it dug into her knees painfully.
Seconds ticked by. Time felt like it had slowed to a crawl. Dozens of thoughts flashed through Bellas mind, each one vanishing as soon as it appeared. The haze crept further and further, encroaching into her thoughts and pulling them into the blur.
Something tells me that Im dead for good if I let this get much worse.
Perhaps it was the thick haze, or maybe it was just desperation. Something sparked in Bellas mind, and that tiny flash of inspiration in the thick fog delivered with it the question which was so obvious that it actually managed to annoy Bella even further. Merim had already told her what it was, even though she claimed that she hadnt.
I need to decide what the ocean means to me. That stupid ass philosophical question is meant to represent cultivation. The ocean is my Path the one that Vex has screwed with. The one that Ive desperately tried to change.
The proper answer was completely obvious. Accepting the ocean as it was and running into it, embracing her Essence properly would solve everything. And yet
Bellas lips pressed together so tightly that they turned white. She pushed herself upright, and the weight pressing down on her relented, almost as if it sensed that she had come to a conclusion.
I have the answer to your question, Bella ground out.
Merim smiled. What is it?
You asked what the ocean was.
And?
Its fucking water, Bella said. I dont give a shit about any of this garbage. You know what I care about? Protecting my friends. Im not the monster that Vex wanted me to be, even if thats my true Path or whatever. Ill be what I want to be.
The weight enveloping Bella vanished. At the same time, a loud crack split the beach. Merims armor shattered, falling away from her body and into the sea to reveal the tanned skin beneath it. Her helmet split down the center and the weeds enveloping her hair slithered away, revealing soft, golden locks.
Bella stared into a perfect reflection of herself.
That, Merim said, her smile growing wider. Is a real decision.
The sand parted before Bella, and the crystal sword that Merim had been leaning on rose up from within it, grinding to a halt just before Bellas chest. Merim nodded to the blade.
Take it.
I Im not sure I understand whats going on, Bella said. Youre me?
No. Im your Essence, Merim said, letting out a pealing laugh. And you said it yourself. Its crazy to expect to understand everything this early on. You arent a god yet. Just remember what your Path is. Its not just protecting others. Its not just being a deadly warrior. Its being what you want to be. You dont have to compromise your desires.
Bella looked down at the sword. Then a smile passed over her own features.
She reached out and wrapped her hand around the hilt of the blade.
The world shattered in a roar of Essence.
Chapter 124: MerimBella stood at a beach. The warm sand shifted between her toes and the sun caressed her face, its orange-pink hue lighting the sky in brilliant sunset. The dirt and weariness from weeks of travel was gone, replaced only by comfort.Gentle waves lapped against the shore before Bella before receding back into the sea, their white frothy caps mixing into the deep, seamless blue.It was peaceful.Bella felt at home, and that was rather odd. Shed never been to a beach before, and she only knew what one looked like from descriptions in books and from what others had told her.Another wave lapped against the sand, this one pushing far enough to nip at her feet. She hopped back at the slight chill of the water. A soft laugh echoed out from behind Bella and she turned, raising her hands defensively.Standing before her was a tall woman, her hands braced against the hilt of a massive, crystal sword. Glistening blue and green armor made of jagged gemstone covered her body, segmented at the joints to allow for movement while not leaving a single opening.Her face was covered by a slanted visor that only revealed only her lips. Her hair hung damp over her shoulders like a mat of seaweed, and she smelled faintly of salt and fruit.Who are you? Where am I? Bella asked.I trust you would be displeased if I said that you were at the beach?Bella sent the woman a flat stare. Yes. I would. I already gathered that much. But I dont think Im actually at a beach.Then where do you think you are? The woman tilted her head to the side, and one corner of her lips quirked up in an amused grin.The debut release of this chapter happened at Nvl-B1n.My mind, maybe? Rilu did something to me. I assume that Im somehow looking into my own mind or something like that?Very astute! That was actually quite fast.So I am?Oh, no. Youre completely wrong. But you came to a conclusion quickly. Thats good. Confidence will take you a great distance, and you can bluff your way through many things.Bella scrunched her nose. A wave caught the back of her heels and she yelped, jumping into the air before she realized what it had been. The woman laughed again.Are you going to tell me whats going on? Bella asked, edging away from the water to avoid getting surprised again.You should learn to enjoy the moment more, the woman suggested. Take some advice from Chance. Your mind dwells only on the future, and it stops you from enjoying what already is. Dont you realize that, if you only look to tomorrow, then you will forget to see today?Bella rubbed her brow and let out a sigh. I understand youre trying to be deep and philosophical because youre I dont know, but probably someone important. Im really not in the mood for it, though. Im trying to fix my Essence, and I dont know if Im on a time limit.Impatient. Cant say I blame you, though. Your instincts are correct. In that case, we can speak more plainly. The womans sword sank into the ground and the sand closed in over it. She raised her hands in greeting, inclining her head. Greetings, Bella. You may call me Merim.I take it that youre who Rilu sent me to see, then?Merim nodded. I am the one you came to see, yes. You seek to fix your Path.I do. Its damaged, and Ive done my best to repair it before, but I think Rilu is right. Ive swapped and modified things too many times, and Vexs influence hasnt helped at all. If I dont repair things now, then I might never get another chance.Merim walked past Bella and stepped into the sea. The waves passed around her, frothing as they swirled around her armor. You are not incorrect. Your Path is gravely damaged.So then you understandHowever, Merim raised a finger, cutting Bella off. The reason your Path is damaged is none of the ones that you have stated.What?The only one in control of your Path is you, Bella. You asked me to speak plainly, so I will. Vex did horrible things to you, but he did not choose your Path for you. You chose your Path. Perhaps that was the right decision, perhaps it was not. But you chose it. Then, when you decided to change the direction in which you went, it was not Vexs influence that weakened your Path.Bellas brow creased in confusion. I dont understand. Youre telling me the reason my Path is completely screwed up is because what, Im just terrible at cultivating?It is not your skill with cultivation that is causing your difficulty. It is you.Bella couldnt see Merims face, but she would have bet everything she owned that Merim was cocking an eyebrow in her direction.Yes, Merim said.I figured, Bella grumbled. Can you tell me what the thing I need to make a decision about is, at least?No. Part of the decision is figuring out what it is that you lack.Thats a stupid rule.Merim shrugged. It is not a rule, but it is the truth. There is little I can do to help you beyond provide a companion with which to speak. My only suggestion is to think deeply and reach within yourself. Once you know your true feelings, then the rest will fall into place.Bella didnt respond. The world felt hazy around her. A strange heaviness started to set into her limbs, pulling Bella toward the sand. Rilus warning still rung in her head. There was only a limited amount of time that she could be well, wherever she was.What in the world is the question, though? Its got to be something to do with my Path, right?Bella dug furiously through her mind in search of whatever it was she was meant to figure out. Her body continued to grow heavier, and the warm sand quickly lost its comfort as it dug into her knees painfully.Seconds ticked by. Time felt like it had slowed to a crawl. Dozens of thoughts flashed through Bellas mind, each one vanishing as soon as it appeared. The haze crept further and further, encroaching into her thoughts and pulling them into the blur.Something tells me that Im dead for good if I let this get much worse. Perhaps it was the thick haze, or maybe it was just desperation. Something sparked in Bellas mind, and that tiny flash of inspiration in the thick fog delivered with it the question which was so obvious that it actually managed to annoy Bella even further. Merim had already told her what it was, even though she claimed that she hadnt.I need to decide what the ocean means to me. That stupid ass philosophical question is meant to represent cultivation. The ocean is my Path the one that Vex has screwed with. The one that Ive desperately tried to change. The proper answer was completely obvious. Accepting the ocean as it was and running into it, embracing her Essence properly would solve everything. And yetBellas lips pressed together so tightly that they turned white. She pushed herself upright, and the weight pressing down on her relented, almost as if it sensed that she had come to a conclusion.I have the answer to your question, Bella ground out.Merim smiled. What is it?You asked what the ocean was.And?Its fucking water, Bella said. I dont give a shit about any of this garbage. You know what I care about? Protecting my friends. Im not the monster that Vex wanted me to be, even if thats my true Path or whatever. Ill be what I want to be.The weight enveloping Bella vanished. At the same time, a loud crack split the beach. Merims armor shattered, falling away from her body and into the sea to reveal the tanned skin beneath it. Her helmet split down the center and the weeds enveloping her hair slithered away, revealing soft, golden locks.Bella stared into a perfect reflection of herself.That, Merim said, her smile growing wider. Is a real decision.The sand parted before Bella, and the crystal sword that Merim had been leaning on rose up from within it, grinding to a halt just before Bellas chest. Merim nodded to the blade.Take it.I Im not sure I understand whats going on, Bella said. Youre me?No. Im your Essence, Merim said, letting out a pealing laugh. And you said it yourself. Its crazy to expect to understand everything this early on. You arent a god yet. Just remember what your Path is. Its not just protecting others. Its not just being a deadly warrior. Its being what you want to be. You dont have to compromise your desires.Bella looked down at the sword. Then a smile passed over her own features.She reached out and wrapped her hand around the hilt of the blade.The world shattered in a roar of Essence.
