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Heart has Ling Xi - Chapter 1

Published at 18th of June 2021 02:22:43 PM


Chapter 1

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Chapter 1 Little Singer King of Two Yuan Stores

 

Ling Xi was discovered by a star scout in an underground passageway. At that time, he was wearing a school uniform, holding a guitar, sitting on a stool he had bought, and playing the original songs written by him. The young man looked innocent, his voice clear and his  smile pure.

 

The scout threw twenty yuan into the box in front of him, struck up a conversation with him, and asked him if he wanted to be a star.

 

Ling Xi said: Yes.

 

The scout asked him: Oh, then what's your name?

 

Ling Xi told the scout his name.

 

The scout was curious: Ling? This surname is quite rare.

 

Ling Xi looked up at him, with a naive look in his eyes: How could it be? Ling Boli[a] is also surnamed Ling.

 

The scout immediately decided that he must accept such a mentally retarded child.

 

A few days later, Ling Xi was taken by his parents to the agency to sign a contract. The personalities of the three members of the Ling family were exactly the same-casual and artless. It could also be called careless. Father Ling skimmed through the contract. He didn't bother to hire a professional lawyer or raise any objections. He turned to Ling Xi and said, "Son, sign it."

 

Ling Xi said, "Okay."

 

The star scout looked anxious and asked them if they wanted to amend some of the terms-although the management company generally would not agree to any amendments they proposed.

 

Mother Ling waved her hand: "Never mind. This is good enough. He won't be popular anyway."

 

During this conversation, Ling Xi had managed to misspell the "Xi" in his name. The scout watched helplessly as the boy made a mistake writing his own name. The right half of the word "Xi" was misspelled three times and resulted in the ink being smeared on the contract. Ling Xi threw down the pen and asked, "Can I write in Pinyin[b]?"

 

Of course not.

 

Ling Xi reluctantly took out his ID card, looked at the word "Xi" on it for a long time. He was very angry and said: "When I finish signing the contract, the first thing I want to do is change my stage name."

 

At that time, Ling Xi strongly requested that his stage name be changed to "夕". From "曦[c]" to "夕[d]", this was a definite decrease in quantity[e]. However, the management company felt that the word "夕" was a bad omen. Finally, both sides took a step back and used the word "熙[f]".

 

After changing his stage name, Ling Xi entered intensive training. When he signed the contract, Ling Xi was 15 years old and had just entered senior high school. He had time only on weekends, winter and summer vacations to go to the company for training. After two years of protracted training, the company felt that he was ready, so they sent him to a singing competition. After participating all over the country, he finally won third place at the national level. It was also the year he graduated from high school.

 

Winning third place at the national level did not sound like much, but for the small agency that signed Ling Xi, it was already the best award their artists had ever won.

 

Wu Youpeng, the star scout who discovered Ling Xi and also served as his agent for the past three years, was extremely happy. He dragged Ling Xi around to eat, drink and have fun all night. Ling Xi was also quite excited. After all, it was the first award he had won. He could almost see his future self crowned with the title ‘King of Songs’ as he embarked on the pinnacle of his life, and married a Miss Perfect.

 

After graduating from high school, under the management of his agency, Ling Xi registered in a certain music school. He didn't usually attend classes and stayed in the company every day to write and practice songs. On this journey of music, it could be said that Ling Xi had innate skills. In addition, the prize he won was a buff bonus. On release, his first album was universally acclaimed. The title track "Heart has Ling Xi" swept the major music ranking charts. For a time, his songs were played in all the two-yuan shops, clothing stores, and hair salons on the streets.

 

He also got a "nickname" from his anti fans--Little Singer King of Two Yuan Stores[g].

 

He was probably cursed by this nickname. All the songs he released later had average sales, but they were widely played in massage shops engaged in special services, department stores that sold small hair accessories, and those huge throughput stores that sold knockoff mobile phones to the migrant workers. A few songs were revered as divine comedies, and deeply loved by the choreography teachers of the public square dance[h].

 

 

"Ling Xi, I had to pull several strings to help you win this opportunity. You must seize it, OK?" Wu Youpeng's mouth hadn't stopped for a moment since they boarded the plane.

 

On the contrary, Ling Xi, who was nagged at non-stop by him, did not even have a trace of nervousness on his face. When the stewardess walked past him, he grabbed the other's skirt quickly and shook the empty cup in his hand, asking shyly: "Is there any orange juice?"

 

Wu Youpeng was so angry that he rolled his eyes. Ling Xi was 26 years old this year. Except for the first album that had record sales, the sales volume of the subsequent albums had not been as good, and the traffic on the Internet was also quite average. Fortunately, his songs were among the top five most downloaded ringtones of major telecom companies. Although this revenue was not high, it was enough to block the mouths of the company's top brass.

 

Inevitably, there were many new people in the circle now, and the image of "tender grass" that Ling Xi portrayed when he debuted had long been buried by the current "fresh meat". It was painfully evident when no one in the economy class could recognize who Ling Xi was!

 

This time, Wu Youpeng shamelessly used the relationship with his old friends, and finally helped him win the opportunity to sing the end credits song for a certain period costume immortal hero idol drama. Moreover, the screenwriter and he had known each other for a long time. The script had a small role that only appeared for a few episodes that could be played by Ling Xi! It was Ling Xi’s first acting role. This good news made Wu Youpeng so happy that he didn't sleep well for a few days.

 

Ling Xi was calm-or perhaps heartless-and not nervous at all. He even had the heart to ask the stewardess for another lunch set!

 

The stewardess shook her head apologetically: "I'm sorry sir, all the lunch sets have been distributed at this time, none are left."

 

Ling Xi was surprised: "But I just saw a dining cart being pushed to the front. There were still some lunch sets on the cart.”

 

The stewardess said, “Sorry, those lunch sets were for the business class. The business class lunch sets are different from the economy class. I can’t..."

 

Ling Xi interrupted her: “Do you know who is sitting in front of you right now?”

 

"...?"

 

Ling Xi: "I'm the Little Singer King of the Two Yuan——mmph!" Wu Youpeng quickly covered his mouth before Ling Xi revealed his name. This ancestor really had not a jot of an idol’s image!

 

The stewardess refused him: "I'm really sorry. But we still have some extra bread. I can bring it for you if you need it."

 

Ling Xi nodded in dejection: "Bread is fine, but you have to give me two boxes of butter."

 

Wu Youpeng was so angry that his nose crooked. Ling Xi was born with a thin physique, and no matter how much he ate, he didn’t get fat. In the entertainment circle, skinny was considered beautiful, and his physique was really enough to make people jealous. He was very greedy, and regardless of the quality of the food, he ate as much as possible. No matter what kind of big event he faced, it did not affect his appetite. Wu Youpeng was anxious about Ling Xi's interview, but Ling Xi was happily eating and drinking, not worried at all.

 

As the proverb says, extreme joy turns to sorrow. Ling Xi drank a cold drink along with the bread. It didn't take long for him to feel his stomach rumble. He quickly stood up and ran to the toilet. But the two toilets at the front and back of the plane were full, and the queues were super long. Even under such circumstances, Ling Xi still had the heart to joke at himself: If he pooped his pants on the plane, could he make the headlines? ……Alas, the entertainment headlines would probably never have his name, but he may be able to grab the tabloid headlines.

 

Ling Xi was fair and handsome. A stewardess showed compassion and secretly told him about the dedicated bathroom in the business class, “If it's an emergency, I can take you there.” Ling Xi’s smile blossomed like a flower, and he incessantly addressed her as “good younger sister.”

 

The stewardess smiled as she praised his silver tongue, led him to the curtain of the business class, and opened a small entrance for him. "Hurry up, there is a celebrity on this plane, so don't take pictures randomly ok?"

 

Ling Xi’s mouth promised in a frank and straightforward manner, but in his heart he disdained: The celebrity is right in front of you.

 

Ling Xi had a clear goal and went straight to the toilet as soon as he got to the business class. The business class was quite empty. In his peripheral vision, Ling Xi saw a man wearing a mask and sunglasses sitting at the other side of the aisle. He was surrounded by people in the front, back, left, and right positions. Ling Xi had never eaten pork but had seen pigs run countless times[i]. The radar in his head pinged, confirming that those people in the retinue were the agents and assistants of the man in the sunglasses.

 

The toilets in the business class were much more spacious than those in the economy class. The toilet seat was covered with a plastic film that wrapped automatically. The toilet seat was not only warm, after pooping, the bidet spray also washed the butt. Ling Xi originally wanted to do the job quickly, but the small sprinkler for washing his buttocks was too comfortable. The water pressure was optimum and the water temperature was also perfect. It took him five minutes to shit and ten minutes to wash his buttocks.

 

He really liked this kind of smart toilet. If it wasn’t for the lack of a reserved socket next to the toilet in his house, he would definitely install one in his house.

 

He was about to get up when he heard the voices of two men outside the door.

 

“Brother Xu, I am just going to use the bathroom. It is just a few steps, is it necessary to follow me?” The first man to speak had a very nice voice which Ling Xi felt was rather familiar.

 

"Well, what can I do? I have watched you eat nothing but tomatoes and cucumbers these days. I have to guard you every step of the way. What if you suddenly faint in the bathroom?" The second person was obviously older. Ling Xi guessed that the other person should be in his thirties.

 

"Don't let me go on a diet if you’re afraid I'll faint." The first man smiled bitterly: "Look at the movie you picked up for me. The character is poor and thin at the beginning. Everyday, I feel starved and only half alive, but the director is still not satisfied."

 

Ling Xi understood. He surmised that the people outside the door must be the mysterious "Brother Sunglasses" and his agent. Brother Sunglasses was on a diet to lose weight for the role. The agent was afraid that he would starve to death and hence followed him even when he went to the toilet, for fear that he would drop dead while taking a dump.

 

Ling Xi pricked his ears and listened carefully, hoping that the conversation between the two men would reveal the true identity of Brother Sunglasses. There was no shortage of gossip in the entertainment industry. He had to absorb some “nutrients” and go back to “feed” Wu Youpeng.

 

"By the way, what’s that kid doing in business class?" asked the agent of Brother Sunglasses.

 

"Just now the stewardess came to apologize and said that the guest wanted to use the toilet, so she brought him in." Brother Sunglasses replied.

 

"What apology!" The agent snorted disdainfully: "The stewardess obviously took the opportunity to come over and speak a few more words with you... You are too friendly and easily agree to sign autographs and take photos... Okay, okay, don't glare at me. You’re not at fault. I will shut up okay?"

 

Brother Sunglasses let out a hmm.

 

Ling Xi was very envious as he sat on the commode and listened. When could he communicate with Wu Youpeng so firmly? Wu Youpeng was obviously his agent, but he was stricter with him than his own father. When Wu Youpeng stared at him, he could only listen obediently.

 

The agent outside the door asked again: "But why didn't we see that kid leave?"

 

Brother Sunglasses replied, "I guess he left when we took a group photo just now. There are so many people, we probably didn’t notice."

 

Ling Xi snickered silently: These two people are too stupid.

He hid in the business class and overheard the conversation between them. Didn’t they find out that the toilet door was locked from the inside, and there was a red display outside the door which showed the door was locked...

 

Fuck me!

 

It turned out that Ling Xi was the stupid one! He was too anxious to go to the toilet earlier and forgot to lock the door! Since the sign outside the door showed ‘vacant’, Brother Sunglasses and his agent chatted at the door, and they were not afraid of being overheard.

 

Brother Sunglasses was still talking: "Alright, you go back first. If I don’t come out of the bathroom for too long, you can come and look for me."

 

Ling Xi couldn’t let him in! He wanted to carry the burden of being an idol for a while longer! However, he was helpless. The business class toilet was twice the size of the toilet in the economy class. Ling Xi was on the toilet, and even with his arms stretched out, the door lock was out of his reach. And the person standing outside was about to enter......

 

Ling Xi did not hesitate any further. He jumped up and rushed towards the door bolt without even pulling up his pants. Unfortunately, at that very moment, the plane bumped due to turbulence, and the folding toilet door was impacted. No one touched it, but it bounced open....

 

Brother Sunglasses: "..."

 

Brother Sunglasses' agent: "..."

 

Ling Xi with bare buttocks and sticking out his ass: "...Hi?"

 

 

 

Footnotes:

[a]A fictional character from the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion.

[b]Pinyin is the official romanization system for Standard Mandarin Chinese in mainland China, Taiwan, and Singapore. It is often used to teach Standard Mandarin, which is normally written using Chinese characters.

[c]Xi: first ray of morning sun

[d]Xi: dusk; evening

[e]easier to write

[f]Xi: prosperous; splendid

[g]A 2 yuan store is a department store retail store with a product price of 2 yuan a piece. It integrates clothing, accessories, cosmetics, gifts, stationery and sports goods, household goods , and daily necessities.

[h]Square dance is very common in both the north and the south in mainland China . The participants are mostly middle-aged and elderly people who have experienced the Cultural Revolution . Therefore, it is also regarded as a Chinese social phenomenon. In China, middle-aged and elderly women who dance square dances are dubbed "square dance aunts" after extensive publicity.

[i]It is used as a metaphor for people who have not experienced things personally, but they have heard of things, have seen them, and have a little understanding.

Translator:

My new project! I learnt how to embed the comments. Yay! Remember to hover over the text with the dotted line to read the notes. I think it's better than the back and forth with footnotes.

Release frequency will be directly proportional to the number of comments. So please, please, please comment It hardly takes a minute guys. Your feedback is very important to me.

Happy reading!





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