Chapter 8 Intellectually disabled idol[1]
Ling Xi walked to the center of the stage holding the guitar. Before going on stage, Wu Youpeng repeatedly reminded Ling Xi to let him not be nervous and try his best to show his due level(of achievement). In case he missed a note accidentally...then he would give up his face and go to the later stage of the show to help him tune[2]. He would never let Ling Xi make a fool of himself.
If truth be told, Ling Xi had been in business for eight years and had participated in commercial performances, shows, cross-country tours, and was highly experienced. But there had never been a program that made him so nervous and hopeful. This was {Sunday Live}! Only the hottest singers in the circle and the most talked about talented artists could ascend onto this stage. Being able to appear on this amazingly rated program was definitely more useful than his agency's spending money to buy back records to top the sales charts.
Such a big pie had fallen from the sky directly into Ling Xi's mouth. Ling Xi was in a hurry to gobble it up. Even if he choked, he was willing.
Every episode of {Sunday Live} invited dozens of lucky viewers to sit in the audience and watch the performance of their beloved star up close. This time was no exception. When Ling Xi stepped onto the stage, he glanced nervously at the audience below, but unfortunately, the only light source was the spotlight that hit the stage vertically from above Ling Xi’s head. So from Ling Xi’s perspective he couldn’t see the expressions of the audience at all.
In the darkness, four cameras were pointed in Ling Xi's direction, and the little red dots on the camera were faintly shining. Ling Xi stared at the looming little red dots, fantasizing that he could grab them all in his hands. He turned his head and nodded to the show accompaniment band behind him, then turned back to adjust the height of the stand microphone in front of him.
He took a deep breath, plucked the strings with his right hand, and began to sing.
In all fairness, Ling Xi's songs definitely did not lack the essential factors for popularity. He was a singer-songwriter who knew both lyrics and music. He usually spoke in a high and bright tone, but when he sang, his voice was low[3]; the timbre was smooth and soft. Regardless of his lively and funny personality, his music without exception was lyrical and a little melancholic, which was in sharp contrast to his image.
It was a pity that when he first debuted, he had downgraded himself due to friction with Zhu Linlin. Coupled with the overall decline in the recording industry in recent years, Ling Xi's popularity had remained low.
At the beginning, Ling Xi's parents had allowed him to sign a ten-year contract. This ten-year contract began when he was discovered at the age of fifteen. When he was twenty-five years old, the company was unwilling to renew his contract. It was Wu Youpeng who socialized all around before the company reluctantly renewed his contract for three years. So Ling Xi gave himself three more years, telling himself that if he was unsuccessful in making money, he would go back and sell milk tea.
He had even thought of a name for the milk tea shop. It would be called “Ling Ling Xi[4] Milk Tea Shop”...
On calculating, there were only two years left out of the three years.
The more he thought about this, the sadder he was. While singing “Zero”, Ling Xi’s voice was very erratic at the end, because he was distracted on the stage…
Luckily, at the climax of the song, Ling Xi finally pulled his attention back, and hit the perfect high note. His vocal range was innately higher than other male singers by 2 tones. Whenever he lifted his voice in song, it gave people an extremely breathtaking feeling. Unfortunately, not many people listened to his entire song quietly.
Just when he sang the highest key, he suddenly felt someone behind him hit him. He turned his head reflexively. After seeing the behemoth behind him clearly, he screamed in shock and fell to the ground. He was standing close to the edge of the stage, so when he fell, he tumbled down the small stairs next to the stage. It was a tough job for him to remember to protect his treasured guitar in his arms when he landed. As a result, the audience saw him holding the guitar in his arms and rolling down the stage like an armadillo ball, grunting...
Fortunately, the stage was not high from the ground. Ling Xi was smashed to the ground, but was unharmed. He didn't have any bruises on his body.
He rolled over and got up from the ground. Ignoring the surrounding audience and the camera behind him, he pointed angrily at the giant crayfish that suddenly appeared behind him and yelled: "Fu...crap! An Ruifeng, you almost scared me into a heart attack!!" He was really pissed. Originally, he expected this performance to be a stepping stone on his path to popularity. Instead, he ran into a giant crayfish as soon as he turned his head, which disrupted his perfect pitch. It was impossible for the performance to continue.
After so many years in the industry, he finally got this rare opportunity. He wondered, ‘If I talk to the director, can I record it again?’
Below the stage, Ling Xi stood holding the guitar in one hand, looking as if he was carrying the Golden cudgel[5], and could rush to the stage at any time to eliminate evil and defend Taoism. On the stage, An Ruifeng looked down at him dressed in the huge crayfish costume. His face was covered by a thick layer of make-up, and no one could see the expression on his face clearly.
Suddenly, a circle of automatic launch points around the stage burst out confetti. Ling Xi was sprayed all over his head without any defense. All this made him more puzzled than An Ruifeng’s rash appearance just now.
What strategy was this? Were he and Crayfish going to exchange rings next?
When he finally took off the streamers on his body--An Ruifeng tried to stretch out the pincers several times to help him but was knocked away by him with a slap--all the spotlights in the studio were turned on. The audience sitting in the first row stood up and raised the sign that was hidden behind them above their heads. Everyone shouted in unison: "Ling Xi, are you scared?!"
Ling Xi stared at the program name on the sign. In an instant, his eyes were dark.
----{Scare☆Surprise}? Did he kill the whole family of the cast of this show in his previous life? Was that the reason he was so badly punished today?
Wu Youpeng, who had been guarding the backstage, had a pale face. He rushed to Ling Xi's side in a few steps, half-hugged him and whispered in comfort. He had raised this child and knew him best. If Ling Xi truly lost his temper, it would be possible to stage a “shredding the crayfish” on the spot. Let alone Ling Xi, even his hands and feet were ice-cold with anger. How could these popular show groups understand the sadness of young artists? It was supposed to be a highway to instant success, but in a blink of an eye it had changed into a muddy road of thistles and thorns.
Be that as it may, Ling Xi was a professional artist after all. Even if he was unwilling to do so, he was unlikely to get angry under thousands of staring eyes. Over the years, he had participated in even more excessive shows. In those days, he had lost face and made a fool of himself in the shows. But the result? In order to pave the way for other stars in the same period, his appearance in the shows was cut to only one-third.
Ling Xi comforted himself: “Think of it like this. {Scare☆Surprise} is not bad. At least I am the only guest invited for this episode, and it’s ratings are not worse than {Sunday Live}.”
The host who was hidden behind the scenes appeared with a smile, and asked Ling Xi to talk about how he felt when he was scared.
Ling Xi cursed "Fuck your mother" in his heart, but his mouth put on an act to say, "You guys really scared me. The day before yesterday, Wu-ge received a call saying that I got the job for {Sunday Live}. I was incredibly nervous. When I got on stage today, I almost sang off-key due to anxiety. I kept thinking: calm down, calm down, you can get off stage after singing this song. I didn’t expect An Ruifeng to appear suddenly. It really scared me..." He waved his hand at the giant crayfish: "Fortunately, you interrupted me. Otherwise, the audience would have heard me sing out-of-tune."
The crayfish stretched out his pincers to take over the microphone and said: "When I was told that the person I had to scare this morning was Ling Xi, I was a little worried. I thought that Ling Xi was very courageous and feared that this appearance was not scary enough."
"It's already very scary!" Ling Xi pointed to his ass: "I rolled off the stage in front of everyone, do you think I'm afraid?"
The host interjected: "Today, our handsome guy An Ruifeng deliberately pretended to be ugly. I think it may break the hearts of many female fans, right? But the make-up on An Ruifeng's face is so heavy, how can you recognize him at first sight?"
"My nose recognized him!" Ling Xi sucked in a breadth in a wacky manner, causing everyone in the studio to roar with laughter. Actually, Ling Xi was telling the truth. An Ruifeng’s cologne had a rich fragrance. Ling Xi was very close to him in the elevator this morning, and remembered the smell.
Ling Xi smiled like a flower in front of the camera, but in his heart he wanted to do the chrysanthemums of the show group. How could he not be angry? If someone provided him with a little spark that moment, he could blow up the whole studio!
After the show, Ling Xi hurried to the common dressing room for artists. Wu Youpeng forced him to say goodbye to An Ruifeng. Ling Xiqiang resisted rolling his eyes and reluctantly said goodbye. It was a pity that his acting skills were terrible, and the word “unhappy” was almost stamped on his face.
An Ruifeng subconsciously stretched out his pincers to pull his hand. He changed direction mid-way, and the large pincers made of plastic foam fell on Ling Xi's shoulder, making a dull "thump, thump" sound.
"I... I'm sorry." An Ruifeng apologized softly.
Ling Xi smirked: "What are you sorry for? You are participating in the show, and I am also participating in the show..."
"I really didn't know that you were the target of this prank. Otherwise, I would never have accepted this job."
Ling Xi obviously didn't believe it: "You must have been paid a lot to appear in this kind of show, right? You say you wouldn’t have participated in this show for me? Who’s going to have a problem with money?"
Ling Xi was acting quite rude. He and An Ruifeng had only met once, and were ordinary acquaintances. Ling Xi also knew that he had expressed his anger at someone who was an innocent bystander. After all, it was not An Ruifeng who chose the target to be pranked. What right did Ling Xi have to get annoyed at another guest of the show?
If anyone was to be blamed, he could blame himself for being an 18th tier little artist. The show group had shattered his beautiful dream and made him fall from the highest highs to the lowest lows, but he still had to act deeply grateful and say, “Thank you for letting me participate in such a highly rated program.”
Ling Xi understood this truth, but he unconsciously wanted to lose his temper in front of An Ruifeng.
An Ruifeng listened to Ling Xi’s impulsive words, and the guilt that had been writhing in his heart intensified. When he spoke, he unconsciously took a coaxing tone: “You are my most treasured apprentice. As your shifu, it is only natural that I will not accept money to embarrass you.”
Wu Youpeng and Xu Zhiqiang, who were watching all this, felt goosebumps erupt over their whole bodies… …
An Ruifeng had debuted in an idol drama. Such lines came to him very easily and effortlessly. Right now, he was dressed in the ridiculous crayfish costume, with thick make-up on his face. And yet, he made people think that he was the most handsome man in the world.
Ling Xi believed he would absolutely not fall for these cheesy lines......
Three seconds later, his own heart raced madly with a “boom, boom”, and he had to admit that he fell for those lines......
※ ※ ※
An Ruifeng returned to the VIP dressing room to remove his makeup. The program crew wanted to make him stay for dinner, but he refused saying he had a prior appointment. A few minutes ago, he and Ling Xi had agreed that in order to compensate for the emotional trauma that Ling Xi suffered today, he would be the host to invite him to dinner, with their agents accompanying them.
An Ruifeng had asked him what he wanted to eat, and Ling Xi gnashed his teeth and said that he wanted to eat crayfish.
The four of them dressed lightly and drove to a seafood stall designated by Ling Xi. This shop was well-known in B city. Although it was a shop in the night market, there were many private visits by celebrities and wealthy people just to taste the craftsmanship of the boss. Xu Zhiqiang parked his car outside the night market and looked at the crowd in the night market. He hesitated: "...There are too many people here, right?" An Ruifeng was a hot actor in the past two years. If he was recognized in the night market, it would cause a lot of inconvenience for others and himself.
"It's okay," An Ruifeng had promised to invite Ling Xi to eat and he wouldn't break his promise: "I’ll just wear sunglasses."
Wu Youpeng was a little embarrassed: "How can you wear sunglasses at night?” He turned to Ling Xi: “Ling Xi, change the place. We will go somewhere with a private room.”
Ling Xi rolled his eyes and suggested: "An Ruifeng, after getting out of the car, put on your sunglasses, put one hand on my shoulder and hold my guitar with the other hand. If anyone looks at you, I will pass the hat over. By the way, you need to put coins in the hat in advance. It is said that this looks more realistic..."
Xu Zhiqiang turned around and asked Wu Youpeng, "Where on earth did you find this living treasure?"
Wu Youpeng regretted: “At that time, I thought idols with intellectual disabilities could also become a trend..."
To everyone’s surprise, Ling Xi's strategy was a great success. From the time they got off the car to the shop, Ling Xi earned several banknotes along the way...
The four of them found a dimly lit corner and sat down. Ling Xi flipped through the menu stained with grease, his mouth spouting the names of the dishes like gun-fire: "Little sister, note down well ah! Let’s start with forty crayfish, a plate of spicy fried razor clams, one kilo of skinned prawns, a portion of stir-fried clams, five liang[6] of mackerel stuffed dumplings... Oh yes, for the cold dishes, get a plate of shredded potatoes and edamame, a plate of frozen pork ears and skin..."
An Ruifeng hurriedly interjected: "I have been on a diet recently and can't eat anything. I guess Brother Xu will only let me taste a crayfish."
Ling Xi nodded, then turned to the little girl and said: "Well, let's make the crayfish forty one." Then he handed the menu to Xu Zhiqiang: "Brother Xu, it's time for you to order."
Xu Zhiqiang: "...what you just ordered is enough."
Ling Xi nodded: "It's enough for me, but you haven't ordered anything yet."
"Sorry, my family’s Ling Xi is not good at other things, but he’s good at eating. Let's order our own dishes..." Wu Youpeng hurried to finish the show. How could he forget that his artist was a rare foodie in the circle? He usually ate as much as he wanted, and now he was eating so unscrupulously in front of other artists. Looking at An Ruifeng’s distorted handsome face, he guessed that he had never seen such a foodie in his life.
Of the four people present, three of them regarded this dinner as "social niceties". Only Ling Xi was guileless, and genuinely regarded the dinner party as a dinner party.
With the last order at this table, the food ordered was enough for six adult men, and Ling Xi alone took in the seafood for four of them. He had an amazing eating momentum. It was a mystery how he could spit out a clean shell considering his eating speed. An Ruifeng, who was sitting next to him, admired his stormy eating moves while elegantly picking out the meat of a crayfish, holding it in his mouth until it was tasteless.
Wu Youpeng sighed in his heart: They were both stars, so why was there such a big gap?!
Footnotes:
[1] The chapter title is “Mentally retarded idol”. The term is a slur, so I went with “Intellectually disabled idol”.
[2] He will ask the program team for “pitch-correction”. It’s a software which can be used to fix only the “wrong” notes in a performance for a natural result, or across the entire mix with more noticeable effects.
[3] For male singers base, baritone, and tenor are the three basic voice types, with base having the lowest range and tenor the highest. I guess Ling Xi might sing in baritone, but since the author has not used technical terms, I will stick to “low singing voice”.
[4] There is a homonym play here. The name is “Ling ling Xi” but the “ling(零)” here means “zero”. Ling Xi’s surname has a different “ling(凌)”. Remember his Weibo handle? It’s “Ling Xi 007”. So the shop name is actually ‘00Xi Milk Tea Shop”.
[5] Weapon wielded by Sun Wukong in the novel Journey to the West. Sun Wukong is a monkey born from a stone who acquires supernatural powers through Taoist practices.
[6] 1 liang=50 grams or 1.7637 ounces.
Chapter 8 Intellectually disabled idol[1]
Ling Xi walked to the center of the stage holding the guitar. Before going on stage, Wu Youpeng repeatedly reminded Ling Xi to let him not be nervous and try his best to show his due level(of achievement). In case he missed a note accidentally...then he would give up his face and go to the later stage of the show to help him tune[2]. He would never let Ling Xi make a fool of himself.
If truth be told, Ling Xi had been in business for eight years and had participated in commercial performances, shows, cross-country tours, and was highly experienced. But there had never been a program that made him so nervous and hopeful. This was {Sunday Live}! Only the hottest singers in the circle and the most talked about talented artists could ascend onto this stage. Being able to appear on this amazingly rated program was definitely more useful than his agency's spending money to buy back records to top the sales charts.
Such a big pie had fallen from the sky directly into Ling Xi's mouth. Ling Xi was in a hurry to gobble it up. Even if he choked, he was willing.
Every episode of {Sunday Live} invited dozens of lucky viewers to sit in the audience and watch the performance of their beloved star up close. This time was no exception. When Ling Xi stepped onto the stage, he glanced nervously at the audience below, but unfortunately, the only light source was the spotlight that hit the stage vertically from above Ling Xi’s head. So from Ling Xi’s perspective he couldn’t see the expressions of the audience at all.
In the darkness, four cameras were pointed in Ling Xi's direction, and the little red dots on the camera were faintly shining. Ling Xi stared at the looming little red dots, fantasizing that he could grab them all in his hands. He turned his head and nodded to the show accompaniment band behind him, then turned back to adjust the height of the stand microphone in front of him.
He took a deep breath, plucked the strings with his right hand, and began to sing.
In all fairness, Ling Xi's songs definitely did not lack the essential factors for popularity. He was a singer-songwriter who knew both lyrics and music. He usually spoke in a high and bright tone, but when he sang, his voice was low[3]; the timbre was smooth and soft. Regardless of his lively and funny personality, his music without exception was lyrical and a little melancholic, which was in sharp contrast to his image.
It was a pity that when he first debuted, he had downgraded himself due to friction with Zhu Linlin. Coupled with the overall decline in the recording industry in recent years, Ling Xi's popularity had remained low.
At the beginning, Ling Xi's parents had allowed him to sign a ten-year contract. This ten-year contract began when he was discovered at the age of fifteen. When he was twenty-five years old, the company was unwilling to renew his contract. It was Wu Youpeng who socialized all around before the company reluctantly renewed his contract for three years. So Ling Xi gave himself three more years, telling himself that if he was unsuccessful in making money, he would go back and sell milk tea.
He had even thought of a name for the milk tea shop. It would be called “Ling Ling Xi[4] Milk Tea Shop”...
On calculating, there were only two years left out of the three years.
The more he thought about this, the sadder he was. While singing “Zero”, Ling Xi’s voice was very erratic at the end, because he was distracted on the stage…
Luckily, at the climax of the song, Ling Xi finally pulled his attention back, and hit the perfect high note. His vocal range was innately higher than other male singers by 2 tones. Whenever he lifted his voice in song, it gave people an extremely breathtaking feeling. Unfortunately, not many people listened to his entire song quietly.
Just when he sang the highest key, he suddenly felt someone behind him hit him. He turned his head reflexively. After seeing the behemoth behind him clearly, he screamed in shock and fell to the ground. He was standing close to the edge of the stage, so when he fell, he tumbled down the small stairs next to the stage. It was a tough job for him to remember to protect his treasured guitar in his arms when he landed. As a result, the audience saw him holding the guitar in his arms and rolling down the stage like an armadillo ball, grunting...
Fortunately, the stage was not high from the ground. Ling Xi was smashed to the ground, but was unharmed. He didn't have any bruises on his body.
He rolled over and got up from the ground. Ignoring the surrounding audience and the camera behind him, he pointed angrily at the giant crayfish that suddenly appeared behind him and yelled: "Fu...crap! An Ruifeng, you almost scared me into a heart attack!!" He was really pissed. Originally, he expected this performance to be a stepping stone on his path to popularity. Instead, he ran into a giant crayfish as soon as he turned his head, which disrupted his perfect pitch. It was impossible for the performance to continue.
After so many years in the industry, he finally got this rare opportunity. He wondered, ‘If I talk to the director, can I record it again?’
Below the stage, Ling Xi stood holding the guitar in one hand, looking as if he was carrying the Golden cudgel[5], and could rush to the stage at any time to eliminate evil and defend Taoism. On the stage, An Ruifeng looked down at him dressed in the huge crayfish costume. His face was covered by a thick layer of make-up, and no one could see the expression on his face clearly.
Suddenly, a circle of automatic launch points around the stage burst out confetti. Ling Xi was sprayed all over his head without any defense. All this made him more puzzled than An Ruifeng’s rash appearance just now.
What strategy was this? Were he and Crayfish going to exchange rings next?
When he finally took off the streamers on his body--An Ruifeng tried to stretch out the pincers several times to help him but was knocked away by him with a slap--all the spotlights in the studio were turned on. The audience sitting in the first row stood up and raised the sign that was hidden behind them above their heads. Everyone shouted in unison: "Ling Xi, are you scared?!"
Ling Xi stared at the program name on the sign. In an instant, his eyes were dark.
----{Scare☆Surprise}? Did he kill the whole family of the cast of this show in his previous life? Was that the reason he was so badly punished today?
Wu Youpeng, who had been guarding the backstage, had a pale face. He rushed to Ling Xi's side in a few steps, half-hugged him and whispered in comfort. He had raised this child and knew him best. If Ling Xi truly lost his temper, it would be possible to stage a “shredding the crayfish” on the spot. Let alone Ling Xi, even his hands and feet were ice-cold with anger. How could these popular show groups understand the sadness of young artists? It was supposed to be a highway to instant success, but in a blink of an eye it had changed into a muddy road of thistles and thorns.
Be that as it may, Ling Xi was a professional artist after all. Even if he was unwilling to do so, he was unlikely to get angry under thousands of staring eyes. Over the years, he had participated in even more excessive shows. In those days, he had lost face and made a fool of himself in the shows. But the result? In order to pave the way for other stars in the same period, his appearance in the shows was cut to only one-third.
Ling Xi comforted himself: “Think of it like this. {Scare☆Surprise} is not bad. At least I am the only guest invited for this episode, and it’s ratings are not worse than {Sunday Live}.”
The host who was hidden behind the scenes appeared with a smile, and asked Ling Xi to talk about how he felt when he was scared.
Ling Xi cursed "Fuck your mother" in his heart, but his mouth put on an act to say, "You guys really scared me. The day before yesterday, Wu-ge received a call saying that I got the job for {Sunday Live}. I was incredibly nervous. When I got on stage today, I almost sang off-key due to anxiety. I kept thinking: calm down, calm down, you can get off stage after singing this song. I didn’t expect An Ruifeng to appear suddenly. It really scared me..." He waved his hand at the giant crayfish: "Fortunately, you interrupted me. Otherwise, the audience would have heard me sing out-of-tune."
The crayfish stretched out his pincers to take over the microphone and said: "When I was told that the person I had to scare this morning was Ling Xi, I was a little worried. I thought that Ling Xi was very courageous and feared that this appearance was not scary enough."
"It's already very scary!" Ling Xi pointed to his ass: "I rolled off the stage in front of everyone, do you think I'm afraid?"
The host interjected: "Today, our handsome guy An Ruifeng deliberately pretended to be ugly. I think it may break the hearts of many female fans, right? But the make-up on An Ruifeng's face is so heavy, how can you recognize him at first sight?"
"My nose recognized him!" Ling Xi sucked in a breadth in a wacky manner, causing everyone in the studio to roar with laughter. Actually, Ling Xi was telling the truth. An Ruifeng’s cologne had a rich fragrance. Ling Xi was very close to him in the elevator this morning, and remembered the smell.
Ling Xi smiled like a flower in front of the camera, but in his heart he wanted to do the chrysanthemums of the show group. How could he not be angry? If someone provided him with a little spark that moment, he could blow up the whole studio!
After the show, Ling Xi hurried to the common dressing room for artists. Wu Youpeng forced him to say goodbye to An Ruifeng. Ling Xiqiang resisted rolling his eyes and reluctantly said goodbye. It was a pity that his acting skills were terrible, and the word “unhappy” was almost stamped on his face.
An Ruifeng subconsciously stretched out his pincers to pull his hand. He changed direction mid-way, and the large pincers made of plastic foam fell on Ling Xi's shoulder, making a dull "thump, thump" sound.
"I... I'm sorry." An Ruifeng apologized softly.
Ling Xi smirked: "What are you sorry for? You are participating in the show, and I am also participating in the show..."
"I really didn't know that you were the target of this prank. Otherwise, I would never have accepted this job."
Ling Xi obviously didn't believe it: "You must have been paid a lot to appear in this kind of show, right? You say you wouldn’t have participated in this show for me? Who’s going to have a problem with money?"
Ling Xi was acting quite rude. He and An Ruifeng had only met once, and were ordinary acquaintances. Ling Xi also knew that he had expressed his anger at someone who was an innocent bystander. After all, it was not An Ruifeng who chose the target to be pranked. What right did Ling Xi have to get annoyed at another guest of the show?
If anyone was to be blamed, he could blame himself for being an 18th tier little artist. The show group had shattered his beautiful dream and made him fall from the highest highs to the lowest lows, but he still had to act deeply grateful and say, “Thank you for letting me participate in such a highly rated program.”
Ling Xi understood this truth, but he unconsciously wanted to lose his temper in front of An Ruifeng.
An Ruifeng listened to Ling Xi’s impulsive words, and the guilt that had been writhing in his heart intensified. When he spoke, he unconsciously took a coaxing tone: “You are my most treasured apprentice. As your shifu, it is only natural that I will not accept money to embarrass you.”
Wu Youpeng and Xu Zhiqiang, who were watching all this, felt goosebumps erupt over their whole bodies… …
An Ruifeng had debuted in an idol drama. Such lines came to him very easily and effortlessly. Right now, he was dressed in the ridiculous crayfish costume, with thick make-up on his face. And yet, he made people think that he was the most handsome man in the world.
Ling Xi believed he would absolutely not fall for these cheesy lines......
Three seconds later, his own heart raced madly with a “boom, boom”, and he had to admit that he fell for those lines......
※ ※ ※
An Ruifeng returned to the VIP dressing room to remove his makeup. The program crew wanted to make him stay for dinner, but he refused saying he had a prior appointment. A few minutes ago, he and Ling Xi had agreed that in order to compensate for the emotional trauma that Ling Xi suffered today, he would be the host to invite him to dinner, with their agents accompanying them.
An Ruifeng had asked him what he wanted to eat, and Ling Xi gnashed his teeth and said that he wanted to eat crayfish.
The four of them dressed lightly and drove to a seafood stall designated by Ling Xi. This shop was well-known in B city. Although it was a shop in the night market, there were many private visits by celebrities and wealthy people just to taste the craftsmanship of the boss. Xu Zhiqiang parked his car outside the night market and looked at the crowd in the night market. He hesitated: "...There are too many people here, right?" An Ruifeng was a hot actor in the past two years. If he was recognized in the night market, it would cause a lot of inconvenience for others and himself.
"It's okay," An Ruifeng had promised to invite Ling Xi to eat and he wouldn't break his promise: "I’ll just wear sunglasses."
Wu Youpeng was a little embarrassed: "How can you wear sunglasses at night?” He turned to Ling Xi: “Ling Xi, change the place. We will go somewhere with a private room.”
Ling Xi rolled his eyes and suggested: "An Ruifeng, after getting out of the car, put on your sunglasses, put one hand on my shoulder and hold my guitar with the other hand. If anyone looks at you, I will pass the hat over. By the way, you need to put coins in the hat in advance. It is said that this looks more realistic..."
Xu Zhiqiang turned around and asked Wu Youpeng, "Where on earth did you find this living treasure?"
Wu Youpeng regretted: “At that time, I thought idols with intellectual disabilities could also become a trend..."
To everyone’s surprise, Ling Xi's strategy was a great success. From the time they got off the car to the shop, Ling Xi earned several banknotes along the way...
The four of them found a dimly lit corner and sat down. Ling Xi flipped through the menu stained with grease, his mouth spouting the names of the dishes like gun-fire: "Little sister, note down well ah! Let’s start with forty crayfish, a plate of spicy fried razor clams, one kilo of skinned prawns, a portion of stir-fried clams, five liang[6] of mackerel stuffed dumplings... Oh yes, for the cold dishes, get a plate of shredded potatoes and edamame, a plate of frozen pork ears and skin..."
An Ruifeng hurriedly interjected: "I have been on a diet recently and can't eat anything. I guess Brother Xu will only let me taste a crayfish."
Ling Xi nodded, then turned to the little girl and said: "Well, let's make the crayfish forty one." Then he handed the menu to Xu Zhiqiang: "Brother Xu, it's time for you to order."
Xu Zhiqiang: "...what you just ordered is enough."
Ling Xi nodded: "It's enough for me, but you haven't ordered anything yet."
"Sorry, my family’s Ling Xi is not good at other things, but he’s good at eating. Let's order our own dishes..." Wu Youpeng hurried to finish the show. How could he forget that his artist was a rare foodie in the circle? He usually ate as much as he wanted, and now he was eating so unscrupulously in front of other artists. Looking at An Ruifeng’s distorted handsome face, he guessed that he had never seen such a foodie in his life.
Of the four people present, three of them regarded this dinner as "social niceties". Only Ling Xi was guileless, and genuinely regarded the dinner party as a dinner party.
With the last order at this table, the food ordered was enough for six adult men, and Ling Xi alone took in the seafood for four of them. He had an amazing eating momentum. It was a mystery how he could spit out a clean shell considering his eating speed. An Ruifeng, who was sitting next to him, admired his stormy eating moves while elegantly picking out the meat of a crayfish, holding it in his mouth until it was tasteless.
Wu Youpeng sighed in his heart: They were both stars, so why was there such a big gap?!
Footnotes:
[1] The chapter title is “Mentally retarded idol”. The term is a slur, so I went with “Intellectually disabled idol”.
[2] He will ask the program team for “pitch-correction”. It’s a software which can be used to fix only the “wrong” notes in a performance for a natural result, or across the entire mix with more noticeable effects.
[3] For male singers base, baritone, and tenor are the three basic voice types, with base having the lowest range and tenor the highest. I guess Ling Xi might sing in baritone, but since the author has not used technical terms, I will stick to “low singing voice”.
[4] There is a homonym play here. The name is “Ling ling Xi” but the “ling(零)” here means “zero”. Ling Xi’s surname has a different “ling(凌)”. Remember his Weibo handle? It’s “Ling Xi 007”. So the shop name is actually ‘00Xi Milk Tea Shop”.
[5] Weapon wielded by Sun Wukong in the novel Journey to the West. Sun Wukong is a monkey born from a stone who acquires supernatural powers through Taoist practices.
[6] 1 liang=50 grams or 1.7637 ounces.
