Mark prepares himself and his things to go to school. When everything is ready, he goes to the car. George drives him to school and drops him off.
Mark attends his morning classes, but his gaze is a thousand miles ahead. His energy saps as hours pass by. His classmates, friends, and teachers express their condolences but their words are never a help to him, he just drifts through the waves of life. He would occasionally write in his notebook what he had in mind.
“Why, Lord? What’s the meaning of this?”
“My mother was good, but life wasn’t good to her.”
“Meaningless is life, better for me is to die.”
Lunch comes and Mark excuses himself to be alone. His friends try to convince him to eat with them, but he insists on being alone.
“I just want to be alone. Please, do me a favor, and give me some space. It’s just what I want now,” Mark says to them.
They leave him no choice but to do what he wants, they leave him alone on his own. Even Justin can’t insist on being with his best friend; however he can see the pain in his friend’s eyes, so he leaves his best bud alone.
Mark walks further ahead of them and goes to Golda’s Eatery. He buys rice and three spring rolls or lumpia’. He finds a table not taken and sits by it.
Alone he eats, with no friends with him. He feels numb to pain while eating his meal.
‘I can’t cry here. I’ll just go to the pier later to do the deed,’ Mark thought.
After finishing his meal, he goes straight towards the pier and walks a distance off of it. Sitting on a ledge, he finally lets out what he’s been keeping inside.
Pain crushes his heart and leads him into a sob. He leans over his knees and weeps uncontrollably.
“Ma, why? Why would you leave me?”
He stops short of his words and continues to weep. The bystanders and balut vendors hear his sobs, not knowing what he’s been through but they leave him be with privacy and respect.
Mark looks up at the sky and says, “God, why? Why couldn’t you just take me and not my mom? Let me die instead of her.”
He puts his hands on his face and cries bitterly. He would wipe his tears from his face with the handkerchief that he had brought and blow his nose.
“Everything was fine, Lord. Why would you disturb it? Why won’t you leave us alone? Why, Lord?”
He buries his face in the handkerchief in his hands and continues to sob. There seems to be no end in crying but eventually, he stops to gaze at the seas ahead. Pain still lingers in his heart and questions are yet to be answered but there’s no more energy left to sob for more. He looks at the time on his phone and sees that it's fifteen minutes before one o’clock, so he wipes again his face, blows his nose, and starts to go to school.
Just as he starts walking, a balut vendor recognizes him and approaches him. He sees the balut vendor handing him two packs of chicharon.
“It’s all on me, kid,” says the balut vendor.
Mark recognizes the balut vendor as someone who he threw up on. He smiles at the vendor and nods at him.
“Thank you, sir,” Mark says.
“You're welcome, kid,” says the vendor. “Real men cry sometimes. Everything will be fine.”
“Thank you,” Mark says as he leaves and walks towards the school.
He attends his afternoon classes and goes home afterwards.
Evening comes and Mark sits on the couch in the living room. He just stares at his mother’s casket and nothing more. Then Cesar and Justin, along with Ruth and Samantha, come to his house once again.
Mark notices them and says, “Oh, hello everyone.” Mark stands to properly greet them. “Ruth. Samantha. You don’t need to be here. It’s evening, it’s dangerous outside at this time.”
“We just want to be with you in the midst of your loss, Mark. And we want to extend our condolences to you,” says Samantha.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Mark. We’re here for you. I’m sure your mom is at the place where there is no pain and suffering, in Jesus’ arms,” says Ruth.
“Thank you, all of you. Where would I be without you? You are my friends and I will remember you all as my friends who are with me in the midst of my trials,” says Mark.
Mark shakes hands with Cesar and Justin, then they sit on the couch. And oddly enough, the five of them fit on the couch.
From left to right are Samantha, Cesar, Mark, Ruth, and Justin.
Mark says to Cesar, “So… who won this morning’s game?”
Cesar turns to him and says, “Oh, do you mean afternoon game?”
“Oh, it was afternoon? I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, it was afternoon. We faced the VCF Lions at their home court. And…” Cesar lets out a deep sigh. “They demolished us, it’s like it didn’t matter that we were there. It didn’t matter if we existed in the court, they wouldn’t stop raining threes and penetrating to the rim. We can’t stop them, Mark. They have a weakness though.”
“What is it?” Mark says with an inquisitive look.
“They only have a player who could shoot threes and he doesn’t have a lot of stamina like you do. Once he’s on the bench, we could momentarily stop their momentum and we could only focus the defense on drives which I picked up a few blocks and steals along the way. To be honest, only you could give us a chance to defeat them. You could disrupt their offense and leave them double-minded about whether to guard the outside more than the inside, and that’s where I come in to drive. And when it’s too congested inside, I could kick it out to you. Just do a little more off-ball movement and you’ll be unguardable.”
“Well, that’s flattering,” says Mark. “I take your compliment. I must work hard to fulfill that role.”
“No pressure, Mark. Especially when you’re going through a loss. Just tell me when you will play, and I’ll tell Coach Perez.”
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready, Cesar.”
After a few trivial talks with Cesar, Mark turns to Ruth and says, “How are you, Ruth?”
“I’m fine, Mark. You?”
Mark smiles at her and says, “I still grieve but I have to keep on living. I’m sure God has reasons why these things happen. I want to live and see it play out.”
Ruth smiles back at him and says, “I’m sure it will play out well.”
The five-consisted company talk and talk through the night until they return home. Mark greets his dad good night and he goes straight to bed.
Mark lies on his bed facing the ceiling and says, “God, thank you for today. I may not know what you want for my life, but I will continue serving and worshipping you even if I don’t feel like it.” And then he falls asleep.
Mark prepares himself and his things to go to school. When everything is ready, he goes to the car. George drives him to school and drops him off.
Mark attends his morning classes, but his gaze is a thousand miles ahead. His energy saps as hours pass by. His classmates, friends, and teachers express their condolences but their words are never a help to him, he just drifts through the waves of life. He would occasionally write in his notebook what he had in mind.
“Why, Lord? What’s the meaning of this?”
“My mother was good, but life wasn’t good to her.”
“Meaningless is life, better for me is to die.”
Lunch comes and Mark excuses himself to be alone. His friends try to convince him to eat with them, but he insists on being alone.
“I just want to be alone. Please, do me a favor, and give me some space. It’s just what I want now,” Mark says to them.
They leave him no choice but to do what he wants, they leave him alone on his own. Even Justin can’t insist on being with his best friend; however he can see the pain in his friend’s eyes, so he leaves his best bud alone.
Mark walks further ahead of them and goes to Golda’s Eatery. He buys rice and three spring rolls or lumpia’. He finds a table not taken and sits by it.
Alone he eats, with no friends with him. He feels numb to pain while eating his meal.
‘I can’t cry here. I’ll just go to the pier later to do the deed,’ Mark thought.
After finishing his meal, he goes straight towards the pier and walks a distance off of it. Sitting on a ledge, he finally lets out what he’s been keeping inside.
Pain crushes his heart and leads him into a sob. He leans over his knees and weeps uncontrollably.
“Ma, why? Why would you leave me?”
He stops short of his words and continues to weep. The bystanders and balut vendors hear his sobs, not knowing what he’s been through but they leave him be with privacy and respect.
Mark looks up at the sky and says, “God, why? Why couldn’t you just take me and not my mom? Let me die instead of her.”
He puts his hands on his face and cries bitterly. He would wipe his tears from his face with the handkerchief that he had brought and blow his nose.
“Everything was fine, Lord. Why would you disturb it? Why won’t you leave us alone? Why, Lord?”
He buries his face in the handkerchief in his hands and continues to sob. There seems to be no end in crying but eventually, he stops to gaze at the seas ahead. Pain still lingers in his heart and questions are yet to be answered but there’s no more energy left to sob for more. He looks at the time on his phone and sees that it's fifteen minutes before one o’clock, so he wipes again his face, blows his nose, and starts to go to school.
Just as he starts walking, a balut vendor recognizes him and approaches him. He sees the balut vendor handing him two packs of chicharon.
“It’s all on me, kid,” says the balut vendor.
Mark recognizes the balut vendor as someone who he threw up on. He smiles at the vendor and nods at him.
“Thank you, sir,” Mark says.
“You're welcome, kid,” says the vendor. “Real men cry sometimes. Everything will be fine.”
“Thank you,” Mark says as he leaves and walks towards the school.
He attends his afternoon classes and goes home afterwards.
Evening comes and Mark sits on the couch in the living room. He just stares at his mother’s casket and nothing more. Then Cesar and Justin, along with Ruth and Samantha, come to his house once again.
Mark notices them and says, “Oh, hello everyone.” Mark stands to properly greet them. “Ruth. Samantha. You don’t need to be here. It’s evening, it’s dangerous outside at this time.”
“We just want to be with you in the midst of your loss, Mark. And we want to extend our condolences to you,” says Samantha.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Mark. We’re here for you. I’m sure your mom is at the place where there is no pain and suffering, in Jesus’ arms,” says Ruth.
“Thank you, all of you. Where would I be without you? You are my friends and I will remember you all as my friends who are with me in the midst of my trials,” says Mark.
Mark shakes hands with Cesar and Justin, then they sit on the couch. And oddly enough, the five of them fit on the couch.
From left to right are Samantha, Cesar, Mark, Ruth, and Justin.
Mark says to Cesar, “So… who won this morning’s game?”
Cesar turns to him and says, “Oh, do you mean afternoon game?”
“Oh, it was afternoon? I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, it was afternoon. We faced the VCF Lions at their home court. And…” Cesar lets out a deep sigh. “They demolished us, it’s like it didn’t matter that we were there. It didn’t matter if we existed in the court, they wouldn’t stop raining threes and penetrating to the rim. We can’t stop them, Mark. They have a weakness though.”
“What is it?” Mark says with an inquisitive look.
“They only have a player who could shoot threes and he doesn’t have a lot of stamina like you do. Once he’s on the bench, we could momentarily stop their momentum and we could only focus the defense on drives which I picked up a few blocks and steals along the way. To be honest, only you could give us a chance to defeat them. You could disrupt their offense and leave them double-minded about whether to guard the outside more than the inside, and that’s where I come in to drive. And when it’s too congested inside, I could kick it out to you. Just do a little more off-ball movement and you’ll be unguardable.”
“Well, that’s flattering,” says Mark. “I take your compliment. I must work hard to fulfill that role.”
“No pressure, Mark. Especially when you’re going through a loss. Just tell me when you will play, and I’ll tell Coach Perez.”
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready, Cesar.”
After a few trivial talks with Cesar, Mark turns to Ruth and says, “How are you, Ruth?”
“I’m fine, Mark. You?”
Mark smiles at her and says, “I still grieve but I have to keep on living. I’m sure God has reasons why these things happen. I want to live and see it play out.”
Ruth smiles back at him and says, “I’m sure it will play out well.”
The five-consisted company talk and talk through the night until they return home. Mark greets his dad good night and he goes straight to bed.
Mark lies on his bed facing the ceiling and says, “God, thank you for today. I may not know what you want for my life, but I will continue serving and worshipping you even if I don’t feel like it.” And then he falls asleep.
