Chapter 61: Oh NO! This is a pioneering work!
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At the same time, a group of British youths were drinking beer, playing around on the street, laughing and saying all kinds of foul language and jokes.
"Hey, let me say Ai Wen, you didn't even like that girl just now? Your vision is too high. Haha!" A man in a black leather jacket was holding a can of beer with his arms around a pretty girl, The guy staggered around and said to another tall boy who was alone in a knitted sweater.
"Come on Giger, that girl is not suitable for me. When I saw her sitting in front of me, she was holding Benson's **** in her hand!" Ivan's words caused a lot of laughter.
There are about seven or eight young people in this group, and several girls are having a hot fight with the guy next to them.
"Then what to do, Benson is going to have fun tonight, we all have fun, what can you do? Are you going to spend the night with your left hand?" Giger said happily, hugging the girl's hand even more use force.
"Oh, how about, I'll go to a movie, I wish you a happy tonight!" Ai Wen, who is a widow, looked up, but it was a brightly lit movie theater. He couldn't help smiling and said self-deprecatingly.
"Haha, did I hear you right? Dude, you want to go to the movies?" Giger laughed, and shouted to the crowd, "Ivan was miserable tonight, we hugged the girl, and he ran alone Watch a movie. Hahaha!"
Everyone burst into laughter, all making fun of Ivan.
"What's the matter, it's just watching a movie, is it so ridiculous? Go to hell, bastards!" Ivan put his hands in his pockets, and fled amidst the laughter of his friends.
Walking into the movie theater, there are not many people here, only three or four audience members are looking at the posters and discussing what movie to watch.
Oh, it's Monday, and people who have been partying all weekend rarely come to the movies today.
Ivan, like ordinary audiences, looked at the promotional posters on the wall indifferently, so that he would know what movies were being shown.
"Hey, what movie are you watching?" A group of couples whispering beside.
"There doesn't seem to be anything interesting. Now is not the time for blockbuster movies. Hey, this movie has been getting a lot of attention in the newspapers recently!" The boyfriend replied to his girlfriend, but his eyes lit up.
"Which one?" asked the girlfriend.
"As for "Two Smoking Barrels", I heard it was filmed by that guy who won the grand prize at the French Film Festival." The boyfriend pointed to the poster of "Two Smoking Barrels".
"Oh, NO, I don't want to read it, the newspaper said that the director is an egomaniac, idiot wants to stand shoulder to shoulder with the godfather! I feel like throwing up..." The girlfriend made a retching motion, and pulled the boyfriend go away.
"Then there is no other way, why don't you watch this movie." The boyfriend didn't want to go against his girlfriend's wishes, and the two went to buy tickets for another movie together.
The movie made by the arrogant? interesting. Aiwen looked around, but couldn't find a movie that made him have the urge to buy.
Looked at his watch, it was only eight o'clock in the evening, and he didn't know what to do when he went back so early. Aiwen could only come to the ticket office and said to the beautiful ticket buyer, "I'll buy a ticket."
"Okay sir, what movie ticket do you want to buy?" the ticket buyer said politely.
"Here, buy it... Forget it, let's take a piece of "Two Smoking Barrels". I'll go and see how the movie made by Arrogant Maniac is." Ai Wen said helplessly.
"You are so interesting." The ticket buyer was amused by Aiwen's tangled expression, and quickly printed out a ticket and handed it to Aiwen.
The movie was about to start. Ivan bought a bucket of popcorn and a glass of Coke, and walked slowly into the screening hall.
HOHO, this place is so empty, if I shout, will there be an echo? Ai Wen looked at the empty auditorium with more than two hundred seats but only seven or eight spectators, and whistled.
It seems that this director brother is going to be laughed at to death, there are only so few people in the first premiere! Ivan threw himself into the sofa, nestled comfortably, and threw popcorn into his mouth from time to time.
At the same time, Calvin, a special film critic for the British News of the World, was walking into the cinema at a leisurely pace.
He is completely different from ordinary audiences who choose movies randomly. He pays more attention to the movie itself rather than the slogans in the tabloids.
Those extremely provocative words did not dispel his enthusiasm for watching Zhang Dongcheng's second movie, on the contrary, it increased a lot.
"The Tuner" made him very interested in director Zhang Dongcheng, and he was looking forward to what kind of breakthrough his second film would have in terms of form. As the most authoritative film critic in the UK, he only believes in his own eyes.
Walking into the cinema, there are colorfully arranged recently released movies inside, full of shocking people's sight. In the most conspicuous place, the promotional poster of "Two Smoking Barrels" is hung.
Looking at the poster carefully, the four people on the screen are dressed in a British style, which refreshes Calvin, who has an extremely keen sense of touch.
Hehe, it really looks British, Calvin laughed secretly in his heart, then bought a ticket, and strode into the screening room.
The two or three kittens in front of him surprised him, and then he realized that the overwhelming abuse might have really affected the enthusiasm of movie fans.
Of course, the release schedule on Monday is also extremely unreasonable.
With all kinds of questions, Calvin sat down peacefully, waiting for the movie to start under the bright lights.
Not long after, the lights in the cinema gradually dimmed, and the icon of Hammer Films appeared on the big screen.
"HOHO, it's the beginning!" Ivan sat up straight, his eyes widened, and he was ready to enjoy this movie that people call megalomaniac.
Zhang Dongcheng's movie officially begins!
As soon as the opening scene, Jason Statham's pure and funny London accent lifted the spirits of the audience in the entire movie theater. Hearing the familiar accent in the movie theater made the audience enthusiastic.
"Anyone like jewelry? Check this out, handcrafted in Italy, guaranteed stolen from Stini, it's as long as my hand, hopefully my **** is too!"
These words immediately caused laughter in the cinema, and Mr. Calvin couldn't help but put a smile on the corner of his mouth, and Ivan couldn't help laughing out loud when he heard the funny cries of the street vendor, as if he was in the London black market he often visited. Voice.
"Wahhaha..." Just after laughing a few words, Aiwen realized that this was not good, and quickly shut up.
The climax of the British rock Hundred Mile High City with strong rhythm, explosive power and penetrating power came directly. When the two found the policeman ran away, the funny running and then took a cigar, which contrasted with the clumsy policeman. The whole picture was combined with the music , people can't help but start to follow the rock music, shaking their heads.
The movie continues.
"Look? This seems to be a waste of my time. Other stores sell it for 900 yuan, so you might not be able to find it. I only sell it for 200 yuan. You are still talking! Where did you study economics? This is a great deal!" Think about it, Nick, I'm not selling it!"
"Okay, okay, don't get excited, buddy." Fat Nick took out a lot of money.
"Oh, FUCK! My mother, you have so much money!"
"Man, you have so much money, two hundred pounds and you still want to bargain? What are you doing when you're not buying stereos? Financing revolution?".
"A hundred pounds is a hundred pounds!"
"No no no, two hundred, especially when the money in your pocket can pay for Libya's national debt!"
Looking at Orlando's livid face on the screen, Ivan happily threw the popcorn into his mouth, and laughed violently with seven or eight audience members. This line almost made his face crooked.
Oh god, maybe this movie wasn't made by egomaniacals, it looks like fun!
In Aiwen's heart, this sentence came to mind inexplicably.
When the audience thought that their eyes would be focused on these four little bastards, the movie changed, with countless revolving lanterns swaying on the screen,
Five or six waves of people kept appearing in front of the audience, showing cunning, ferocious or funny faces. Although there are many, they are not messy.
Not to mention those funny lines.
"what is this?"
"This is for spanking."
"Don't swear in front of my son! No blasphemy!"
"Why are you still counting money?"
"Because I'm cool!"
When it came to the scene of the game, Ivan held his breath like all the audience.
"I need 250,000 pounds!" Nick Moran pretended to be calm, and said to Harry the axe.
"No, I think you need 500,000 pounds to follow the card!" Ax Harry already knew Nick Moran's cards, but he lured Nick into being fooled by the old fox.
"I'll follow!" Nick gritted his teeth.
"Okay, before I lend you the money, I mean that if you lose, you have to pay back the money before Sunday. Do you understand?" Seeing Nick falling into the trap, Harry the Axe finally showed fierceness in his eyes.
The opening sound of wild music sounded, Harry the ax showed a 7, and the camera quickly zoomed in on Nick.
Another 7, another close-up of Nick's expression, fully coordinated with the music, showing the deep despair that is invincible but unable to resist incomparably!
The card is opened, Ax Hazao is a pair of 7s plus a 4.
Music started, the slightly psychedelic music played, and the most classic scene in the movie appeared.
It took a long time for Zhang Dongcheng and Walter to match perfectly. It was like a hallucination after taking drugs. Nick’s card was only a pair of 6s.
Nick, who lost the card, stood up and put his clothes on his shoulders. On the camera, he seemed to sink into the bottom of the sea, with beads of sweat on his forehead. The combination of various montage techniques and Nick Moran's wonderful performance until the end made the film critics Calvin couldn't help but be overwhelmed.
This shooting method is very imaginative and very emotional! Calvin was intoxicated for a while before he realized that his thigh was hurting. He looked down and gritted his teeth to find that his leg was completely red from being slapped foolishly by him!
As an ordinary audience, Ivan is not as literary as Calvin. He is just like other audience members in the screening room, looking forward to the next joke, and then rolls around in his seat laughing after the unexpected.
The marijuana grower with an electric iron to burn money, the fat Nick who drank tea at the black drug dealer but was startled by the broken coffee table, the ax Harry who killed people with a 15-inch **** and took the fire extinguisher and then The drug dealer who ignites a big fireball, every few minutes or less, the whole big projection room will be filled with all kinds of strange laughter.
Especially when Orlando was talking about the idea of the "Old Glass Club" in a serious manner, the whole projection room laughed uproariously, and Ivan almost didn't laugh until he got under the chair.
"How long will it take to get the money?" Jason Statham said.
"Not more than four weeks." Orlando said firmly.
"What's the use of that, we have to pay back the money in six days! No, it's five days..." Jason Statham said helplessly, spreading his hands.
Orlando froze, then shook his head, and said firmly: "Anyway, this is a brilliant idea!"
This sentence made the movie theater laugh even more. Ivan patted the chair and laughed wildly, spilling popcorn all over the floor.
On the screen, Nick Moran and his gang are discussing how to rob the robber next door.
The former pizza shop waiter, now Zhang Dongcheng's most considerate cadre, fat Andy, wearing a black windbreaker, dressed in a refined manner, with a cigarette in his hand, very serious, with viciousness and viciousness, and self-righteously said : "That's right. Give them a hard time, or they will die! I think it's a good idea to bring knives. Bring a few bright big knives, the kind that can be used to skin crocodiles!"
The camera is a close-up of Andy's face, with the air of a weapon expert.
"Knives are better, knives don't make noise, the quieter they are, the better. Fuck the **** out of them, know we're not kidding! Guns are good, but, masters, use knives!"
That ace of masters, masters, masters, Zhang Dongcheng called CUT dozens of times, and it was shot when Fatty Andy was about to collapse, and now it finally received the effect.
"What secrets did you have in the past?" Orlando was taken aback by the master's appearance.
"I don't know which is more scary, the robbery or your past!" Jason Statham immediately answered.
Typical British humor may seem normal to Chinese people, but in the UK, this sentence made countless audiences go crazy with laughter. According to statistics, the demand for paper towels in movie theaters has surged, and almost seven out of every ten buckets of popcorn sold Wrapping tissues…
The marijuana girl who had been huddled on the sofa suddenly descended into the world like an angel, picked up the machine gun, and stood up like a mighty and invincible Iron King Kong. Amidst the violent heavy metal music, she suddenly pulled the trigger!
"Boom boom boom boom boom!"
In slow motion, the gunfire is in full bloom, bullets are screaming and galloping, and the shell casings are falling down like raindrops, dancing the dance of death on the carpet and in the close-up of the camera!
The sofa pierced by bullets is trembling and bursting, all kinds of blown glasses are shattering, the screaming robbers are flying and falling in the sky, and the blonde girl digging her mouth is extremely brave!
"Oh YE, well done, girl!" Ivan's eyes widened, wanting to see the scene of blood flying everywhere.
After the last bullet was fired, the robber leader stood up: "Where did this guy come from?"
Then he swung a punch and knocked the invincible woman unconscious to the ground.
The camera moved to other robbers, and the audience realized that the seemingly awesome woman had emptied all the magazines, but not a single one!
"Oh, haha, my god!" A group of spectators burst into tears from laughter and got under the chairs directly.
"Bacon, go and see what we have robbed." The group of four who successfully robbed drove away in a car.
"We hit the jackpot this time!" Jason Statham said excitedly.
"Lots of marijuana, tons of money!"
The three people sitting in front showed satisfied smiles on their faces, but Jason's last words made the cinema, which hadn't stopped laughing for a few minutes, laugh again.
"Marijuana, money, and a traffic cop!"
"What!" The faces of the first three froze, all of them couldn't believe it.
"My God, Ed, we actually have a traffic cop in the car!"
"What are they doing with a traffic cop?"
"I didn't know, knock him unconscious and throw him out!" Bacon was dazed by this sudden incident, so he could only command casually.
"Knock him unconscious? With what? How?" Jason Statham continued to ask idiotically.
"I don't know, use your imagination!"
Jason Statham didn't say a word, he pressed the traffic policeman who was raising his hands for fear of being beaten into the car, and punched him.
"Ah..." The traffic police screamed.
"Hey, it's knocking him out, not touching him!" Orlando angrily accused Jason Statham of not using his strength.
"If you keep talking, I'll knock you out! If you want to knock him out, do it yourself!" Jason Statham replied angrily.
"I hate the traffic policeman the most!" Bacon said without thinking, and then the three of them rushed to the back and started punching and kicking the hapless traffic policeman!
The violent laughter didn't stop from the beginning, and at the end, the tears flowed from the laughter. All the audience couldn't sit still, and Aiwen's face was twitching, and he had to massage his face desperately.
Then, all kinds of chaos and coincidences, all kinds of teams and gangs fighting, everyone is excited to watch, watching this unparalleled movie.
Orlando drove to the bridge, and Bacon and his group received the package at home, which contained only an album.
250,000 pounds to 300,000 pounds!
Those two guns are worth so much money!
Three people started to take out their phones, and then said in unison: "What's the number of Tom's phone?"
Bacon impatiently signaled others not to call: "The line will be busy, let me come, let me come"
And Tom on the bridge wanted to throw the gun away, but he threw it by the bridge and didn't fall.
"Damn, the phone is dead! Give me your phone!" Ed growled at the soap.
Tom on the bridge is biting the phone, with a gun in his hand, at this moment, the phone rang!
The movie ended, and the subtitles quickly passed, "Director, Smith Zhang, starring, Nick Moran, Orlando Bloom, Jason Statham, Andy..."
When the audience came back to their senses, the movie was over, and there were only heavy breathing and gasping sounds like teeth hurting in the entire auditorium.
Maybe they walked into the cinema because they were as bored as Ivan, or they chose "Two Smoking Barrels" because they really didn't have any other movies to watch and were not influenced by the tabloid propaganda, but without exception, these guys Now they are rubbing their faces vigorously, hoping to recover the sore face as soon as possible.
"YE, it's really a tuner, and it's an open ending. Did that guy answer the phone at the end? If he answered the phone, the antique gun would definitely fall into the water!" Someone sighed, non-stop stroking his belly.
Oh, my God, there really was a fan chasing him to the cinema to watch a movie. Zhang Dongcheng, who was hiding aside, couldn't help but put a smile on his face. Unfortunately, there is only one.
Ai Wen walked out of the screening room almost scrambling. Everyone who came out with him was the same, holding their waists and holding their stomachs, and there were tears in the corners of their eyes that could not be wiped away.
"Oh, God, I can swear this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. Just remembering that London accent, ouch, my stomach hurts." A middle-aged man sat there and groaned while rubbing his stomach. .
"It's so cool for you to be HIGH here, maybe you won't even be able to find your **** when you go to the toilet!" Someone next to him immediately answered, and then all the people who came out laughed with their stomachs in their arms, even walking staggeringly.
"Where's my phone? I'm going to call Hammy and tell him I found a great movie!" someone excitedly said to a friend, then pulled out the phone.
"Hey Hammy, come to the cinema and watch a movie, there's a f*cking flick that's worth the money! Oh yeah, bring some tissues when you come! What, dirty movies? FUCK YOUR BRAINS Could there be something other than sperm in it? It's a comedy, Jem and I had a **** laugh! The rock music in this movie is very, very good, SHIT, come on.. Well, you miser, I Please, hurry up, we are going to watch it for the second time!"
Read it a second time? Seems like a good idea!
After hearing this, Ivan rubbed his face that was about to freeze from laughing vigorously, and then hurriedly ran to buy tickets.
"It's all about you. You took me to watch a movie on Monday. It's nothing to watch at all. Also, the one you chose is so bad, it's just a bad movie among bad movies!"
"Oh, God, I only have time tonight, hey, don't go."
Aiwen looked up, but it was just before buying the ticket, he watched the movie poster with him and still didn't know what good couple to see. At that time, the woman still said with contempt that "Two Smoking Barrels" was an arrogant film movie of.
Looks like they picked another movie and got screwed.
"Hey man, if you want to take your girlfriend to a movie the next time you want her to burst into your arms laughing, I suggest you watch Two Smoking Barrels! It's not some cocky movie, it's A film by a talented director! Unbeatable film!"
The man was stunned, looked back at the complacent Ivan, turned around and continued chasing his girlfriend.
Fortunately, I wasn't blinded by the egomaniac's statement like his girlfriend. Ivan blew a loud whistle, and quickly bought a ticket for the next show, waiting to watch it again.
Of the eight or nine spectators in the first show, four or five stayed. Calvin, one of the best film critics in the UK, also stayed and bought tickets for the second viewing.
Unlike the tuner who keeps people watching with a sense of suspense, "Two Smoking Barrels" is to enjoy fun, watch trends, and experience coolness and then watch it again. Calvin is naturally different from other audiences. He always feels that he is the first Yiyi didn't grasp the inner meaning of this movie at all, and he didn't know how to write a movie review for this movie.
Oh NO! This **** is an epoch-making pioneering work!
Sitting on the sofa, Calvin, who was infected by the audience's foul language, suddenly figured out that this movie can't be used in previous movies. If you must find a movie, Quentin's "Reservoir Dogs" barely has it. Some shadows are inside.
This twenty-year-old director is truly a **** genius!
Is this a cocky movie? Who the **** did the shit!
Another group of viewers came in. Since the ten o'clock movie was already a non-prime time period, the audience at this time period was even more pitiful than the previous time period, and only two or three new audience members were added.
But whether it’s Ivan and the old audience who watched it once, or the new audience who came in to watch, without exception, they all stooped, held their stomachs, leaned on the wall, and walked out of the cinema staggeringly.
what's the situation?
Without him, these people were all laughed at by "Two Smoking Barrels".
Early the next morning, Zhang Dongcheng received a call from Auston, the owner of Hammer Films.
"Smith, very bad news. The audience in the first game yesterday was terrible, let alone the one at ten o'clock." Auston's deep voice came from the phone.
"I know, I went to the scene yesterday and know the real situation." Zhang Dongcheng's tone was very calm, but he was still unusually full of confidence.
"According to the data sent by the theater chain, the attendance rate was only 7% yesterday. This data is really not good."
"Really? The movie theater I was in yesterday had 200 seats, plus I only had 10 spectators, so the attendance rate was only 5%. So the other movie theater that played our movie should have 18 spectators, um, good!"
"Oh, it sounds good to you? Is there anything special about it?" Alston asked strangely.
"As a film company owner, what you care most about is the attendance rate, the box office. But as a director, I also need to care about the reaction of the audience. They laugh or curse, they pat the chairs to cheer, or they pat the chairs to scold their mothers. .” Zhang Dongcheng smiled slightly.
"Really? So the audience's reaction was very enthusiastic?" Alston was a little surprised, but he continued to ask.
Alston almost gave up hope for "Two Smoking Barrels", so he didn't watch the premiere at all.
"Five of the first batch of nine viewers watched it a second time, what do you think?" Zhang Dongcheng finally showed a hint of complacency in his smile.
"Are you serious? More than half of the people watched it a second time?" Alston said in disbelief, and after thinking about it, his impatient voice came from the microphone: "Tonight I will also Go to the cinema!"
The box office revenue on the first day is almost negligible. According to the data provided by the theater, "Two Smoking Barrels" only earned 28 pounds (one film ticket, a pound)!
This is the data obtained after playing two games in one night!
Oh, my God, this is clearly the rhythm of losing everything.
But soon, the box office data on the second day unexpectedly tripled to £84, the number of viewers was 84, and the attendance rate of the first show reached 14.7%!
On the third day, the box office data shocked everyone. The number of viewers soared all the way to 424 people, and the box office revenue was 424 pounds. The attendance rate of the first show exceeded 60%!
Sixty percent! In just three days, "Two Smoking Barrels" exceeded the expectations of the general manager of the theater, Edward, and the attendance rate far left the 50% hurdle behind!
Well, let's turn the clock back to Tuesday and see what happened.
"Gigger, listen to me, put those chicks aside, there is a movie that is so cool, so cool, so funny that you can't even stand up!" Watched two movies that night Ivan grabbed his buddy Giger early the next morning and recommended him to watch a movie.
"FUCK, I haven't been to a movie theater for many years. It's not a Hollywood blockbuster!" Giger said casually.
"The rock music in it is great, and it's an epoch-making gangster comedy. Well, if you don't watch it, give me back the money!" Ai Wen was really angry. If friends don't share such a great movie , How can I say the lines in it are funny in the future?
"Oh, SHIT! Is there anyone as serious as you? Well, I'll go and have a look." Giger raised his hand helplessly.
That night, when Ivan came out with Giger, whose face was cramped, he said triumphantly: "How about it, I didn't make a mistake in recommending it!"
"That's right, it's so **** right. I'll call my brothers to see it tomorrow, oh my face!" Giger just rubbed his face.
"What if they don't come?" Ivan asked.
"Don't come? If you don't come, you don't even have to do it!"
The other side of London:
"I accidentally saw a very fun and cool movie yesterday. If it wasn't for my business, I would like to watch it again today!"
"Really? What movie?"
"Two big smoking guns, wow haha, don't mention how funny it is, I almost died laughing in the movie theater, and there were even people lying on the ground laughing beside me."
"No way, is it so funny? Didn't the newspapers say that it was a movie made by an arrogant man?"
"What kind of megalomaniac, that's all newspaper nonsense. Go and see it, you will never regret it! I will discuss the ending with you tomorrow, the ending is the most fun."
"OK, it happens to be fine at night, I'll go take a look."
the next day:
"Read it?"
"I watched it, I laughed so hard, this movie is really good, I plan to invite the whole family to watch it again tomorrow, my brother will definitely like this movie."
"Haha, what could be wrong with my recommendation? Tomorrow I have an appointment with a large group of people to watch this movie, let's go together!"
Or, on the other side of London.
"Accompany me to watch a movie tonight. That guy Harder said it was very funny, and the style of the whole movie is very unique. He is now looking for the clothes worn by the actors in the street, saying that it is really cool!"
"Ah, I invited my girlfriend to dinner!"
"What? You got a new girlfriend? If you lie to me, I'll kill you. If you fool me, or I think you're fooling me, I'll kill you too. If you forget, I will too Kill you. In fact, you have to work very hard to save your life. Did you understand what I said? Because if you don’t understand, I will kill you!"
"Uh, FUCK, what are you doing?"
"Haha, this is the movie that Harder introduced, the lines in Two Smoking Barrels, isn't it funny?"
"Okay, for the sake of killing me, let's go together at night."
In London, England, in September 1995, a trend was inexplicably blown up, first by a few people, and then slowly spread to hundreds of people. When this trend slowly penetrated into the youngest and most energetic university campus, the outbreak The passion that came out caught countless people off guard.
Perhaps, even those who are keen to keep pulling and haven’t seen it, and chattering about how “Two Smoking Barrels” is so classic, they may not realize that they are making history.
"It should be the brother of Wancuo, NO is the mother, well, the mother of the brother is not the same?"
"I'd rather defend myself with drumsticks to be safer!"
"Guns are just for show, masters use knives!"
The dialogue in "Two Smoking Barrels" spread like a storm on the university campus, and it swept away without any hindrance, especially when the person who spoke the lines was complacent while the person opposite was speechless. Finding out and getting to the bottom of it became the only idea.
First, students from one or two universities gathered in groups, as if rushing to the battlefield to watch, and then the entire British academy was empty at night.
As trendsetters, these college students may be full of English lines and idioms after watching it, or they may be looking for cool clothes similar to those in the play to arm themselves, or they may be frantically looking for Those violent and exciting Britpop, heavy metal, reggae, punk and jazz songs are easy to listen to a hundred times.
The emerging network has enabled these people with the most sense of the times to find a bosom friend.
"I beg for all the soundtracks in "Two Smoking Barrels"!" - Netizen Dark Mage
"I'm looking for the soundtrack of "Two Smoking Barrels" where I lost my money when I gambled!" —— Netizen is super bad
"Where is the black windbreaker that Jason Statham wore when he first appeared on the stage? Where can I buy it? If you know it, give me the address. I want to buy it for my boyfriend!" —— Netizen Jenny.
“Where can I buy that silver necklace worn by Vinnie Jones? I’ve been looking for it for three days! It’s a high price!” —— Netizen Jared
More and more people have found resonance, found confidantes, and found all the fun related to this movie on the Internet. The trend is gradually rising like the eye of the storm in the Pacific Ocean.
What's even more frightening is that this movie started to go up and down, attracting the attention of British people under the age of 30 and British children over the age of 15. It fell like a domino, and it was unstoppable!
HOHO, let us turn the time back to Thursday, the fourth day of the screening of "Two Smoking Barrels".
Mr. Edward, the general manager of Cineworld Group, received yesterday’s theater data in the early morning of Thursday. While drinking coffee with his wife, he maintained the slow and luxurious temperament of a British gentleman, looking at the latest attendance and box office statistics. .
When his eyes gradually moved down and he saw a line of writing, his British gentlemanly demeanor was gone, and he almost knocked over the coffee cup in surprise, splashing hot coffee on his face, which made him stand up involuntarily, It hurts to jump desperately.
Regardless of the fact that his face was flushed red, Edward picked up the somewhat wet statistical table, shook off the coffee juice desperately, stared at the data on it with wide eyes, and soon burst into laughter.
"Oh, God, is this Smith really a genius director? The attendance rate of the first show was 60%! It broke through the 50% threshold in three days!" Edward looked at the data and couldn't hide his smile.
"What are you talking about? Edward." Madam asked puzzled.
"There's a kid, maybe I really picked up a treasure! No, I'm going to the scene tonight to have a look, don't let that old fox of Auston spend money to hire someone to achieve his goal!" Edward threw it thoughtlessly. With the next sentence, he rushed to the door and left under the strange eyes of his wife.
When Mr. Edward walked into the movie theater on Thursday night, everything in front of him shocked him even more than in the morning!
In the ticket hall, more than 400 to 500 people were crowded, and all of them were young people under the age of 30. They lined up, some looked ahead anxiously, kept poking their heads, some chatted on the phone, some Some of them were laughing and playing, and some were scrambling for seats, playing poker in groups!
What, these people are all here to buy tickets, are they all for that "Two Smoking Barrels"?
This thought suddenly popped into Edward's mind.
Soon, his idea was confirmed, and the conductor shouted loudly: "Today, the tickets for the two movies of "Two Smoking Barrels" are all sold out, and now we can only buy tickets for tomorrow!"
"Oh no, bastard! I came to watch this movie specially, what are you doing!"
"Tomorrow? Wait until tomorrow? No, I want to watch it today! I don't want to be laughed at by Harry with the lines in it!"
"FUCK! Why don't you line up a few more games? I want to watch "Two Smoking Barrels"!"
The conductor’s words stirred up waves, and the audience in the entire ticket hall was excited. They waited in line for such a long time, and now they tell themselves that they have no tickets? Clay figurines also have three elements of soil nature!
"Asshole, call your manager out!"
"We're going to see a movie, we're going to see Two Smoking Barrels!"
"It's funny, there are only two theaters for such a great movie, and there are only two screenings! Does your manager have any financial sense and want to make money?"
"That's right, a complete idiot, the manager of the movie theater is an idiot!"
"I want to buy movie tickets for "Two Smoking Barrels" at a high price. I will offer two pounds, two pounds a piece!"
"SHIT, who is short of your two pounds, I offer ten pounds, do you have anything to sell? You can earn nine pounds by standing in line, this is a great opportunity!"
Noisy sounds resounded through the sky, and the entire ticket office was in a mess. Some cursed, some smashed the glass desperately when they couldn’t get a ticket, some paid a high price for a glimpse of the truth, some despised the cinema manager, in short, this was the case. None of the more than 200 people who didn't get a ticket left, they all stayed in the ticket office, desperately venting their dissatisfaction, but they just didn't leave!
They are all waiting for a miracle, or longing for a miracle, looking forward to who can hear their voices, and don't let this enthusiasm be shattered by the reality of no tickets.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
At the same time, a group of British youths were drinking beer, playing around on the street, laughing and saying all kinds of foul language and jokes.
"Hey, let me say Ai Wen, you didn't even like that girl just now? Your vision is too high. Haha!" A man in a black leather jacket was holding a can of beer with his arms around a pretty girl, The guy staggered around and said to another tall boy who was alone in a knitted sweater.
"Come on Giger, that girl is not suitable for me. When I saw her sitting in front of me, she was holding Benson's **** in her hand!" Ivan's words caused a lot of laughter.
There are about seven or eight young people in this group, and several girls are having a hot fight with the guy next to them.
"Then what to do, Benson is going to have fun tonight, we all have fun, what can you do? Are you going to spend the night with your left hand?" Giger said happily, hugging the girl's hand even more use force.
"Oh, how about, I'll go to a movie, I wish you a happy tonight!" Ai Wen, who is a widow, looked up, but it was a brightly lit movie theater. He couldn't help smiling and said self-deprecatingly.
"Haha, did I hear you right? Dude, you want to go to the movies?" Giger laughed, and shouted to the crowd, "Ivan was miserable tonight, we hugged the girl, and he ran alone Watch a movie. Hahaha!"
Everyone burst into laughter, all making fun of Ivan.
"What's the matter, it's just watching a movie, is it so ridiculous? Go to hell, bastards!" Ivan put his hands in his pockets, and fled amidst the laughter of his friends.
Walking into the movie theater, there are not many people here, only three or four audience members are looking at the posters and discussing what movie to watch.
Oh, it's Monday, and people who have been partying all weekend rarely come to the movies today.
Ivan, like ordinary audiences, looked at the promotional posters on the wall indifferently, so that he would know what movies were being shown.
"Hey, what movie are you watching?" A group of couples whispering beside.
"There doesn't seem to be anything interesting. Now is not the time for blockbuster movies. Hey, this movie has been getting a lot of attention in the newspapers recently!" The boyfriend replied to his girlfriend, but his eyes lit up.
"Which one?" asked the girlfriend.
"As for "Two Smoking Barrels", I heard it was filmed by that guy who won the grand prize at the French Film Festival." The boyfriend pointed to the poster of "Two Smoking Barrels".
"Oh, NO, I don't want to read it, the newspaper said that the director is an egomaniac, idiot wants to stand shoulder to shoulder with the godfather! I feel like throwing up..." The girlfriend made a retching motion, and pulled the boyfriend go away.
"Then there is no other way, why don't you watch this movie." The boyfriend didn't want to go against his girlfriend's wishes, and the two went to buy tickets for another movie together.
The movie made by the arrogant? interesting. Aiwen looked around, but couldn't find a movie that made him have the urge to buy.
Looked at his watch, it was only eight o'clock in the evening, and he didn't know what to do when he went back so early. Aiwen could only come to the ticket office and said to the beautiful ticket buyer, "I'll buy a ticket."
"Okay sir, what movie ticket do you want to buy?" the ticket buyer said politely.
"Here, buy it... Forget it, let's take a piece of "Two Smoking Barrels". I'll go and see how the movie made by Arrogant Maniac is." Ai Wen said helplessly.
"You are so interesting." The ticket buyer was amused by Aiwen's tangled expression, and quickly printed out a ticket and handed it to Aiwen.
The movie was about to start. Ivan bought a bucket of popcorn and a glass of Coke, and walked slowly into the screening hall.
HOHO, this place is so empty, if I shout, will there be an echo? Ai Wen looked at the empty auditorium with more than two hundred seats but only seven or eight spectators, and whistled.
It seems that this director brother is going to be laughed at to death, there are only so few people in the first premiere! Ivan threw himself into the sofa, nestled comfortably, and threw popcorn into his mouth from time to time.
At the same time, Calvin, a special film critic for the British News of the World, was walking into the cinema at a leisurely pace.
He is completely different from ordinary audiences who choose movies randomly. He pays more attention to the movie itself rather than the slogans in the tabloids.
Those extremely provocative words did not dispel his enthusiasm for watching Zhang Dongcheng's second movie, on the contrary, it increased a lot.
"The Tuner" made him very interested in director Zhang Dongcheng, and he was looking forward to what kind of breakthrough his second film would have in terms of form. As the most authoritative film critic in the UK, he only believes in his own eyes.
Walking into the cinema, there are colorfully arranged recently released movies inside, full of shocking people's sight. In the most conspicuous place, the promotional poster of "Two Smoking Barrels" is hung.
Looking at the poster carefully, the four people on the screen are dressed in a British style, which refreshes Calvin, who has an extremely keen sense of touch.
Hehe, it really looks British, Calvin laughed secretly in his heart, then bought a ticket, and strode into the screening room.
The two or three kittens in front of him surprised him, and then he realized that the overwhelming abuse might have really affected the enthusiasm of movie fans.
Of course, the release schedule on Monday is also extremely unreasonable.
With all kinds of questions, Calvin sat down peacefully, waiting for the movie to start under the bright lights.
Not long after, the lights in the cinema gradually dimmed, and the icon of Hammer Films appeared on the big screen.
"HOHO, it's the beginning!" Ivan sat up straight, his eyes widened, and he was ready to enjoy this movie that people call megalomaniac.
Zhang Dongcheng's movie officially begins!
As soon as the opening scene, Jason Statham's pure and funny London accent lifted the spirits of the audience in the entire movie theater. Hearing the familiar accent in the movie theater made the audience enthusiastic.
"Anyone like jewelry? Check this out, handcrafted in Italy, guaranteed stolen from Stini, it's as long as my hand, hopefully my **** is too!"
These words immediately caused laughter in the cinema, and Mr. Calvin couldn't help but put a smile on the corner of his mouth, and Ivan couldn't help laughing out loud when he heard the funny cries of the street vendor, as if he was in the London black market he often visited. Voice.
"Wahhaha..." Just after laughing a few words, Aiwen realized that this was not good, and quickly shut up.
The climax of the British rock Hundred Mile High City with strong rhythm, explosive power and penetrating power came directly. When the two found the policeman ran away, the funny running and then took a cigar, which contrasted with the clumsy policeman. The whole picture was combined with the music , people can't help but start to follow the rock music, shaking their heads.
The movie continues.
"Look? This seems to be a waste of my time. Other stores sell it for 900 yuan, so you might not be able to find it. I only sell it for 200 yuan. You are still talking! Where did you study economics? This is a great deal!" Think about it, Nick, I'm not selling it!"
"Okay, okay, don't get excited, buddy." Fat Nick took out a lot of money.
"Oh, FUCK! My mother, you have so much money!"
"Man, you have so much money, two hundred pounds and you still want to bargain? What are you doing when you're not buying stereos? Financing revolution?".
"A hundred pounds is a hundred pounds!"
"No no no, two hundred, especially when the money in your pocket can pay for Libya's national debt!"
Looking at Orlando's livid face on the screen, Ivan happily threw the popcorn into his mouth, and laughed violently with seven or eight audience members. This line almost made his face crooked.
Oh god, maybe this movie wasn't made by egomaniacals, it looks like fun!
In Aiwen's heart, this sentence came to mind inexplicably.
When the audience thought that their eyes would be focused on these four little bastards, the movie changed, with countless revolving lanterns swaying on the screen,
Five or six waves of people kept appearing in front of the audience, showing cunning, ferocious or funny faces. Although there are many, they are not messy.
Not to mention those funny lines.
"what is this?"
"This is for spanking."
"Don't swear in front of my son! No blasphemy!"
"Why are you still counting money?"
"Because I'm cool!"
When it came to the scene of the game, Ivan held his breath like all the audience.
"I need 250,000 pounds!" Nick Moran pretended to be calm, and said to Harry the axe.
"No, I think you need 500,000 pounds to follow the card!" Ax Harry already knew Nick Moran's cards, but he lured Nick into being fooled by the old fox.
"I'll follow!" Nick gritted his teeth.
"Okay, before I lend you the money, I mean that if you lose, you have to pay back the money before Sunday. Do you understand?" Seeing Nick falling into the trap, Harry the Axe finally showed fierceness in his eyes.
The opening sound of wild music sounded, Harry the ax showed a 7, and the camera quickly zoomed in on Nick.
Another 7, another close-up of Nick's expression, fully coordinated with the music, showing the deep despair that is invincible but unable to resist incomparably!
The card is opened, Ax Hazao is a pair of 7s plus a 4.
Music started, the slightly psychedelic music played, and the most classic scene in the movie appeared.
It took a long time for Zhang Dongcheng and Walter to match perfectly. It was like a hallucination after taking drugs. Nick’s card was only a pair of 6s.
Nick, who lost the card, stood up and put his clothes on his shoulders. On the camera, he seemed to sink into the bottom of the sea, with beads of sweat on his forehead. The combination of various montage techniques and Nick Moran's wonderful performance until the end made the film critics Calvin couldn't help but be overwhelmed.
This shooting method is very imaginative and very emotional! Calvin was intoxicated for a while before he realized that his thigh was hurting. He looked down and gritted his teeth to find that his leg was completely red from being slapped foolishly by him!
As an ordinary audience, Ivan is not as literary as Calvin. He is just like other audience members in the screening room, looking forward to the next joke, and then rolls around in his seat laughing after the unexpected.
The marijuana grower with an electric iron to burn money, the fat Nick who drank tea at the black drug dealer but was startled by the broken coffee table, the ax Harry who killed people with a 15-inch **** and took the fire extinguisher and then The drug dealer who ignites a big fireball, every few minutes or less, the whole big projection room will be filled with all kinds of strange laughter.
Especially when Orlando was talking about the idea of the "Old Glass Club" in a serious manner, the whole projection room laughed uproariously, and Ivan almost didn't laugh until he got under the chair.
"How long will it take to get the money?" Jason Statham said.
"Not more than four weeks." Orlando said firmly.
"What's the use of that, we have to pay back the money in six days! No, it's five days..." Jason Statham said helplessly, spreading his hands.
Orlando froze, then shook his head, and said firmly: "Anyway, this is a brilliant idea!"
This sentence made the movie theater laugh even more. Ivan patted the chair and laughed wildly, spilling popcorn all over the floor.
On the screen, Nick Moran and his gang are discussing how to rob the robber next door.
The former pizza shop waiter, now Zhang Dongcheng's most considerate cadre, fat Andy, wearing a black windbreaker, dressed in a refined manner, with a cigarette in his hand, very serious, with viciousness and viciousness, and self-righteously said : "That's right. Give them a hard time, or they will die! I think it's a good idea to bring knives. Bring a few bright big knives, the kind that can be used to skin crocodiles!"
The camera is a close-up of Andy's face, with the air of a weapon expert.
"Knives are better, knives don't make noise, the quieter they are, the better. Fuck the **** out of them, know we're not kidding! Guns are good, but, masters, use knives!"
That ace of masters, masters, masters, Zhang Dongcheng called CUT dozens of times, and it was shot when Fatty Andy was about to collapse, and now it finally received the effect.
"What secrets did you have in the past?" Orlando was taken aback by the master's appearance.
"I don't know which is more scary, the robbery or your past!" Jason Statham immediately answered.
Typical British humor may seem normal to Chinese people, but in the UK, this sentence made countless audiences go crazy with laughter. According to statistics, the demand for paper towels in movie theaters has surged, and almost seven out of every ten buckets of popcorn sold Wrapping tissues…
The marijuana girl who had been huddled on the sofa suddenly descended into the world like an angel, picked up the machine gun, and stood up like a mighty and invincible Iron King Kong. Amidst the violent heavy metal music, she suddenly pulled the trigger!
"Boom boom boom boom boom!"
In slow motion, the gunfire is in full bloom, bullets are screaming and galloping, and the shell casings are falling down like raindrops, dancing the dance of death on the carpet and in the close-up of the camera!
The sofa pierced by bullets is trembling and bursting, all kinds of blown glasses are shattering, the screaming robbers are flying and falling in the sky, and the blonde girl digging her mouth is extremely brave!
"Oh YE, well done, girl!" Ivan's eyes widened, wanting to see the scene of blood flying everywhere.
After the last bullet was fired, the robber leader stood up: "Where did this guy come from?"
Then he swung a punch and knocked the invincible woman unconscious to the ground.
The camera moved to other robbers, and the audience realized that the seemingly awesome woman had emptied all the magazines, but not a single one!
"Oh, haha, my god!" A group of spectators burst into tears from laughter and got under the chairs directly.
"Bacon, go and see what we have robbed." The group of four who successfully robbed drove away in a car.
"We hit the jackpot this time!" Jason Statham said excitedly.
"Lots of marijuana, tons of money!"
The three people sitting in front showed satisfied smiles on their faces, but Jason's last words made the cinema, which hadn't stopped laughing for a few minutes, laugh again.
"Marijuana, money, and a traffic cop!"
"What!" The faces of the first three froze, all of them couldn't believe it.
"My God, Ed, we actually have a traffic cop in the car!"
"What are they doing with a traffic cop?"
"I didn't know, knock him unconscious and throw him out!" Bacon was dazed by this sudden incident, so he could only command casually.
"Knock him unconscious? With what? How?" Jason Statham continued to ask idiotically.
"I don't know, use your imagination!"
Jason Statham didn't say a word, he pressed the traffic policeman who was raising his hands for fear of being beaten into the car, and punched him.
"Ah..." The traffic police screamed.
"Hey, it's knocking him out, not touching him!" Orlando angrily accused Jason Statham of not using his strength.
"If you keep talking, I'll knock you out! If you want to knock him out, do it yourself!" Jason Statham replied angrily.
"I hate the traffic policeman the most!" Bacon said without thinking, and then the three of them rushed to the back and started punching and kicking the hapless traffic policeman!
The violent laughter didn't stop from the beginning, and at the end, the tears flowed from the laughter. All the audience couldn't sit still, and Aiwen's face was twitching, and he had to massage his face desperately.
Then, all kinds of chaos and coincidences, all kinds of teams and gangs fighting, everyone is excited to watch, watching this unparalleled movie.
Orlando drove to the bridge, and Bacon and his group received the package at home, which contained only an album.
250,000 pounds to 300,000 pounds!
Those two guns are worth so much money!
Three people started to take out their phones, and then said in unison: "What's the number of Tom's phone?"
Bacon impatiently signaled others not to call: "The line will be busy, let me come, let me come"
And Tom on the bridge wanted to throw the gun away, but he threw it by the bridge and didn't fall.
"Damn, the phone is dead! Give me your phone!" Ed growled at the soap.
Tom on the bridge is biting the phone, with a gun in his hand, at this moment, the phone rang!
The movie ended, and the subtitles quickly passed, "Director, Smith Zhang, starring, Nick Moran, Orlando Bloom, Jason Statham, Andy..."
When the audience came back to their senses, the movie was over, and there were only heavy breathing and gasping sounds like teeth hurting in the entire auditorium.
Maybe they walked into the cinema because they were as bored as Ivan, or they chose "Two Smoking Barrels" because they really didn't have any other movies to watch and were not influenced by the tabloid propaganda, but without exception, these guys Now they are rubbing their faces vigorously, hoping to recover the sore face as soon as possible.
"YE, it's really a tuner, and it's an open ending. Did that guy answer the phone at the end? If he answered the phone, the antique gun would definitely fall into the water!" Someone sighed, non-stop stroking his belly.
Oh, my God, there really was a fan chasing him to the cinema to watch a movie. Zhang Dongcheng, who was hiding aside, couldn't help but put a smile on his face. Unfortunately, there is only one.
Ai Wen walked out of the screening room almost scrambling. Everyone who came out with him was the same, holding their waists and holding their stomachs, and there were tears in the corners of their eyes that could not be wiped away.
"Oh, God, I can swear this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. Just remembering that London accent, ouch, my stomach hurts." A middle-aged man sat there and groaned while rubbing his stomach. .
"It's so cool for you to be HIGH here, maybe you won't even be able to find your **** when you go to the toilet!" Someone next to him immediately answered, and then all the people who came out laughed with their stomachs in their arms, even walking staggeringly.
"Where's my phone? I'm going to call Hammy and tell him I found a great movie!" someone excitedly said to a friend, then pulled out the phone.
"Hey Hammy, come to the cinema and watch a movie, there's a f*cking flick that's worth the money! Oh yeah, bring some tissues when you come! What, dirty movies? FUCK YOUR BRAINS Could there be something other than sperm in it? It's a comedy, Jem and I had a **** laugh! The rock music in this movie is very, very good, SHIT, come on.. Well, you miser, I Please, hurry up, we are going to watch it for the second time!"
Read it a second time? Seems like a good idea!
After hearing this, Ivan rubbed his face that was about to freeze from laughing vigorously, and then hurriedly ran to buy tickets.
"It's all about you. You took me to watch a movie on Monday. It's nothing to watch at all. Also, the one you chose is so bad, it's just a bad movie among bad movies!"
"Oh, God, I only have time tonight, hey, don't go."
Aiwen looked up, but it was just before buying the ticket, he watched the movie poster with him and still didn't know what good couple to see. At that time, the woman still said with contempt that "Two Smoking Barrels" was an arrogant film movie of.
Looks like they picked another movie and got screwed.
"Hey man, if you want to take your girlfriend to a movie the next time you want her to burst into your arms laughing, I suggest you watch Two Smoking Barrels! It's not some cocky movie, it's A film by a talented director! Unbeatable film!"
The man was stunned, looked back at the complacent Ivan, turned around and continued chasing his girlfriend.
Fortunately, I wasn't blinded by the egomaniac's statement like his girlfriend. Ivan blew a loud whistle, and quickly bought a ticket for the next show, waiting to watch it again.
Of the eight or nine spectators in the first show, four or five stayed. Calvin, one of the best film critics in the UK, also stayed and bought tickets for the second viewing.
Unlike the tuner who keeps people watching with a sense of suspense, "Two Smoking Barrels" is to enjoy fun, watch trends, and experience coolness and then watch it again. Calvin is naturally different from other audiences. He always feels that he is the first Yiyi didn't grasp the inner meaning of this movie at all, and he didn't know how to write a movie review for this movie.
Oh NO! This **** is an epoch-making pioneering work!
Sitting on the sofa, Calvin, who was infected by the audience's foul language, suddenly figured out that this movie can't be used in previous movies. If you must find a movie, Quentin's "Reservoir Dogs" barely has it. Some shadows are inside.
This twenty-year-old director is truly a **** genius!
Is this a cocky movie? Who the **** did the shit!
Another group of viewers came in. Since the ten o'clock movie was already a non-prime time period, the audience at this time period was even more pitiful than the previous time period, and only two or three new audience members were added.
But whether it’s Ivan and the old audience who watched it once, or the new audience who came in to watch, without exception, they all stooped, held their stomachs, leaned on the wall, and walked out of the cinema staggeringly.
what's the situation?
Without him, these people were all laughed at by "Two Smoking Barrels".
Early the next morning, Zhang Dongcheng received a call from Auston, the owner of Hammer Films.
"Smith, very bad news. The audience in the first game yesterday was terrible, let alone the one at ten o'clock." Auston's deep voice came from the phone.
"I know, I went to the scene yesterday and know the real situation." Zhang Dongcheng's tone was very calm, but he was still unusually full of confidence.
"According to the data sent by the theater chain, the attendance rate was only 7% yesterday. This data is really not good."
"Really? The movie theater I was in yesterday had 200 seats, plus I only had 10 spectators, so the attendance rate was only 5%. So the other movie theater that played our movie should have 18 spectators, um, good!"
"Oh, it sounds good to you? Is there anything special about it?" Alston asked strangely.
"As a film company owner, what you care most about is the attendance rate, the box office. But as a director, I also need to care about the reaction of the audience. They laugh or curse, they pat the chairs to cheer, or they pat the chairs to scold their mothers. .” Zhang Dongcheng smiled slightly.
"Really? So the audience's reaction was very enthusiastic?" Alston was a little surprised, but he continued to ask.
Alston almost gave up hope for "Two Smoking Barrels", so he didn't watch the premiere at all.
"Five of the first batch of nine viewers watched it a second time, what do you think?" Zhang Dongcheng finally showed a hint of complacency in his smile.
"Are you serious? More than half of the people watched it a second time?" Alston said in disbelief, and after thinking about it, his impatient voice came from the microphone: "Tonight I will also Go to the cinema!"
The box office revenue on the first day is almost negligible. According to the data provided by the theater, "Two Smoking Barrels" only earned 28 pounds (one film ticket, a pound)!
This is the data obtained after playing two games in one night!
Oh, my God, this is clearly the rhythm of losing everything.
But soon, the box office data on the second day unexpectedly tripled to £84, the number of viewers was 84, and the attendance rate of the first show reached 14.7%!
On the third day, the box office data shocked everyone. The number of viewers soared all the way to 424 people, and the box office revenue was 424 pounds. The attendance rate of the first show exceeded 60%!
Sixty percent! In just three days, "Two Smoking Barrels" exceeded the expectations of the general manager of the theater, Edward, and the attendance rate far left the 50% hurdle behind!
Well, let's turn the clock back to Tuesday and see what happened.
"Gigger, listen to me, put those chicks aside, there is a movie that is so cool, so cool, so funny that you can't even stand up!" Watched two movies that night Ivan grabbed his buddy Giger early the next morning and recommended him to watch a movie.
"FUCK, I haven't been to a movie theater for many years. It's not a Hollywood blockbuster!" Giger said casually.
"The rock music in it is great, and it's an epoch-making gangster comedy. Well, if you don't watch it, give me back the money!" Ai Wen was really angry. If friends don't share such a great movie , How can I say the lines in it are funny in the future?
"Oh, SHIT! Is there anyone as serious as you? Well, I'll go and have a look." Giger raised his hand helplessly.
That night, when Ivan came out with Giger, whose face was cramped, he said triumphantly: "How about it, I didn't make a mistake in recommending it!"
"That's right, it's so **** right. I'll call my brothers to see it tomorrow, oh my face!" Giger just rubbed his face.
"What if they don't come?" Ivan asked.
"Don't come? If you don't come, you don't even have to do it!"
The other side of London:
"I accidentally saw a very fun and cool movie yesterday. If it wasn't for my business, I would like to watch it again today!"
"Really? What movie?"
"Two big smoking guns, wow haha, don't mention how funny it is, I almost died laughing in the movie theater, and there were even people lying on the ground laughing beside me."
"No way, is it so funny? Didn't the newspapers say that it was a movie made by an arrogant man?"
"What kind of megalomaniac, that's all newspaper nonsense. Go and see it, you will never regret it! I will discuss the ending with you tomorrow, the ending is the most fun."
"OK, it happens to be fine at night, I'll go take a look."
the next day:
"Read it?"
"I watched it, I laughed so hard, this movie is really good, I plan to invite the whole family to watch it again tomorrow, my brother will definitely like this movie."
"Haha, what could be wrong with my recommendation? Tomorrow I have an appointment with a large group of people to watch this movie, let's go together!"
Or, on the other side of London.
"Accompany me to watch a movie tonight. That guy Harder said it was very funny, and the style of the whole movie is very unique. He is now looking for the clothes worn by the actors in the street, saying that it is really cool!"
"Ah, I invited my girlfriend to dinner!"
"What? You got a new girlfriend? If you lie to me, I'll kill you. If you fool me, or I think you're fooling me, I'll kill you too. If you forget, I will too Kill you. In fact, you have to work very hard to save your life. Did you understand what I said? Because if you don’t understand, I will kill you!"
"Uh, FUCK, what are you doing?"
"Haha, this is the movie that Harder introduced, the lines in Two Smoking Barrels, isn't it funny?"
"Okay, for the sake of killing me, let's go together at night."
In London, England, in September 1995, a trend was inexplicably blown up, first by a few people, and then slowly spread to hundreds of people. When this trend slowly penetrated into the youngest and most energetic university campus, the outbreak The passion that came out caught countless people off guard.
Perhaps, even those who are keen to keep pulling and haven’t seen it, and chattering about how “Two Smoking Barrels” is so classic, they may not realize that they are making history.
"It should be the brother of Wancuo, NO is the mother, well, the mother of the brother is not the same?"
"I'd rather defend myself with drumsticks to be safer!"
"Guns are just for show, masters use knives!"
The dialogue in "Two Smoking Barrels" spread like a storm on the university campus, and it swept away without any hindrance, especially when the person who spoke the lines was complacent while the person opposite was speechless. Finding out and getting to the bottom of it became the only idea.
First, students from one or two universities gathered in groups, as if rushing to the battlefield to watch, and then the entire British academy was empty at night.
As trendsetters, these college students may be full of English lines and idioms after watching it, or they may be looking for cool clothes similar to those in the play to arm themselves, or they may be frantically looking for Those violent and exciting Britpop, heavy metal, reggae, punk and jazz songs are easy to listen to a hundred times.
The emerging network has enabled these people with the most sense of the times to find a bosom friend.
"I beg for all the soundtracks in "Two Smoking Barrels"!" - Netizen Dark Mage
"I'm looking for the soundtrack of "Two Smoking Barrels" where I lost my money when I gambled!" —— Netizen is super bad
"Where is the black windbreaker that Jason Statham wore when he first appeared on the stage? Where can I buy it? If you know it, give me the address. I want to buy it for my boyfriend!" —— Netizen Jenny.
“Where can I buy that silver necklace worn by Vinnie Jones? I’ve been looking for it for three days! It’s a high price!” —— Netizen Jared
More and more people have found resonance, found confidantes, and found all the fun related to this movie on the Internet. The trend is gradually rising like the eye of the storm in the Pacific Ocean.
What's even more frightening is that this movie started to go up and down, attracting the attention of British people under the age of 30 and British children over the age of 15. It fell like a domino, and it was unstoppable!
HOHO, let us turn the time back to Thursday, the fourth day of the screening of "Two Smoking Barrels".
Mr. Edward, the general manager of Cineworld Group, received yesterday’s theater data in the early morning of Thursday. While drinking coffee with his wife, he maintained the slow and luxurious temperament of a British gentleman, looking at the latest attendance and box office statistics. .
When his eyes gradually moved down and he saw a line of writing, his British gentlemanly demeanor was gone, and he almost knocked over the coffee cup in surprise, splashing hot coffee on his face, which made him stand up involuntarily, It hurts to jump desperately.
Regardless of the fact that his face was flushed red, Edward picked up the somewhat wet statistical table, shook off the coffee juice desperately, stared at the data on it with wide eyes, and soon burst into laughter.
"Oh, God, is this Smith really a genius director? The attendance rate of the first show was 60%! It broke through the 50% threshold in three days!" Edward looked at the data and couldn't hide his smile.
"What are you talking about? Edward." Madam asked puzzled.
"There's a kid, maybe I really picked up a treasure! No, I'm going to the scene tonight to have a look, don't let that old fox of Auston spend money to hire someone to achieve his goal!" Edward threw it thoughtlessly. With the next sentence, he rushed to the door and left under the strange eyes of his wife.
When Mr. Edward walked into the movie theater on Thursday night, everything in front of him shocked him even more than in the morning!
In the ticket hall, more than 400 to 500 people were crowded, and all of them were young people under the age of 30. They lined up, some looked ahead anxiously, kept poking their heads, some chatted on the phone, some Some of them were laughing and playing, and some were scrambling for seats, playing poker in groups!
What, these people are all here to buy tickets, are they all for that "Two Smoking Barrels"?
This thought suddenly popped into Edward's mind.
Soon, his idea was confirmed, and the conductor shouted loudly: "Today, the tickets for the two movies of "Two Smoking Barrels" are all sold out, and now we can only buy tickets for tomorrow!"
"Oh no, bastard! I came to watch this movie specially, what are you doing!"
"Tomorrow? Wait until tomorrow? No, I want to watch it today! I don't want to be laughed at by Harry with the lines in it!"
"FUCK! Why don't you line up a few more games? I want to watch "Two Smoking Barrels"!"
The conductor’s words stirred up waves, and the audience in the entire ticket hall was excited. They waited in line for such a long time, and now they tell themselves that they have no tickets? Clay figurines also have three elements of soil nature!
"Asshole, call your manager out!"
"We're going to see a movie, we're going to see Two Smoking Barrels!"
"It's funny, there are only two theaters for such a great movie, and there are only two screenings! Does your manager have any financial sense and want to make money?"
"That's right, a complete idiot, the manager of the movie theater is an idiot!"
"I want to buy movie tickets for "Two Smoking Barrels" at a high price. I will offer two pounds, two pounds a piece!"
"SHIT, who is short of your two pounds, I offer ten pounds, do you have anything to sell? You can earn nine pounds by standing in line, this is a great opportunity!"
Noisy sounds resounded through the sky, and the entire ticket office was in a mess. Some cursed, some smashed the glass desperately when they couldn’t get a ticket, some paid a high price for a glimpse of the truth, some despised the cinema manager, in short, this was the case. None of the more than 200 people who didn't get a ticket left, they all stayed in the ticket office, desperately venting their dissatisfaction, but they just didn't leave!
They are all waiting for a miracle, or longing for a miracle, looking forward to who can hear their voices, and don't let this enthusiasm be shattered by the reality of no tickets.
At the same time, a group of British youths were drinking beer, playing around on the street, laughing and saying all kinds of foul language and jokes."Hey, let me say Ai Wen, you didn't even like that girl just now? Your vision is too high. Haha!" A man in a black leather jacket was holding a can of beer with his arms around a pretty girl, The guy staggered around and said to another tall boy who was alone in a knitted sweater. "Come on Giger, that girl is not suitable for me. When I saw her sitting in front of me, she was holding Benson's **** in her hand!" Ivan's words caused a lot of laughter. There are about seven or eight young people in this group, and several girls are having a hot fight with the guy next to them."Then what to do, Benson is going to have fun tonight, we all have fun, what can you do? Are you going to spend the night with your left hand?" Giger said happily, hugging the girl's hand even more use force. "Oh, how about, I'll go to a movie, I wish you a happy tonight!" Ai Wen, who is a widow, looked up, but it was a brightly lit movie theater. He couldn't help smiling and said self-deprecatingly."Haha, did I hear you right? Dude, you want to go to the movies?" Giger laughed, and shouted to the crowd, "Ivan was miserable tonight, we hugged the girl, and he ran alone Watch a movie. Hahaha!"Everyone burst into laughter, all making fun of Ivan. "What's the matter, it's just watching a movie, is it so ridiculous? Go to hell, bastards!" Ivan put his hands in his pockets, and fled amidst the laughter of his friends.Walking into the movie theater, there are not many people here, only three or four audience members are looking at the posters and discussing what movie to watch. Oh, it's Monday, and people who have been partying all weekend rarely come to the movies today. Ivan, like ordinary audiences, looked at the promotional posters on the wall indifferently, so that he would know what movies were being shown. "Hey, what movie are you watching?" A group of couples whispering beside. "There doesn't seem to be anything interesting. Now is not the time for blockbuster movies. Hey, this movie has been getting a lot of attention in the newspapers recently!" The boyfriend replied to his girlfriend, but his eyes lit up. "Which one?" asked the girlfriend. "As for "Two Smoking Barrels", I heard it was filmed by that guy who won the grand prize at the French Film Festival." The boyfriend pointed to the poster of "Two Smoking Barrels"."Oh, NO, I don't want to read it, the newspaper said that the director is an egomaniac, idiot wants to stand shoulder to shoulder with the godfather! I feel like throwing up..." The girlfriend made a retching motion, and pulled the boyfriend go away. "Then there is no other way, why don't you watch this movie." The boyfriend didn't want to go against his girlfriend's wishes, and the two went to buy tickets for another movie together.The movie made by the arrogant? interesting. Aiwen looked around, but couldn't find a movie that made him have the urge to buy.Looked at his watch, it was only eight o'clock in the evening, and he didn't know what to do when he went back so early. Aiwen could only come to the ticket office and said to the beautiful ticket buyer, "I'll buy a ticket." "Okay sir, what movie ticket do you want to buy?" the ticket buyer said politely. "Here, buy it... Forget it, let's take a piece of "Two Smoking Barrels". I'll go and see how the movie made by Arrogant Maniac is." Ai Wen said helplessly. "You are so interesting." The ticket buyer was amused by Aiwen's tangled expression, and quickly printed out a ticket and handed it to Aiwen.The movie was about to start. Ivan bought a bucket of popcorn and a glass of Coke, and walked slowly into the screening hall.HOHO, this place is so empty, if I shout, will there be an echo? Ai Wen looked at the empty auditorium with more than two hundred seats but only seven or eight spectators, and whistled. It seems that this director brother is going to be laughed at to death, there are only so few people in the first premiere! Ivan threw himself into the sofa, nestled comfortably, and threw popcorn into his mouth from time to time.At the same time, Calvin, a special film critic for the British News of the World, was walking into the cinema at a leisurely pace.He is completely different from ordinary audiences who choose movies randomly. He pays more attention to the movie itself rather than the slogans in the tabloids. Those extremely provocative words did not dispel his enthusiasm for watching Zhang Dongcheng's second movie, on the contrary, it increased a lot."The Tuner" made him very interested in director Zhang Dongcheng, and he was looking forward to what kind of breakthrough his second film would have in terms of form. As the most authoritative film critic in the UK, he only believes in his own eyes.Walking into the cinema, there are colorfully arranged recently released movies inside, full of shocking people's sight. In the most conspicuous place, the promotional poster of "Two Smoking Barrels" is hung.Looking at the poster carefully, the four people on the screen are dressed in a British style, which refreshes Calvin, who has an extremely keen sense of touch.Hehe, it really looks British, Calvin laughed secretly in his heart, then bought a ticket, and strode into the screening room.The two or three kittens in front of him surprised him, and then he realized that the overwhelming abuse might have really affected the enthusiasm of movie fans.Of course, the release schedule on Monday is also extremely unreasonable.With all kinds of questions, Calvin sat down peacefully, waiting for the movie to start under the bright lights. Not long after, the lights in the cinema gradually dimmed, and the icon of Hammer Films appeared on the big screen. "HOHO, it's the beginning!" Ivan sat up straight, his eyes widened, and he was ready to enjoy this movie that people call megalomaniac. Zhang Dongcheng's movie officially begins!As soon as the opening scene, Jason Statham's pure and funny London accent lifted the spirits of the audience in the entire movie theater. Hearing the familiar accent in the movie theater made the audience enthusiastic. "Anyone like jewelry? Check this out, handcrafted in Italy, guaranteed stolen from Stini, it's as long as my hand, hopefully my **** is too!"These words immediately caused laughter in the cinema, and Mr. Calvin couldn't help but put a smile on the corner of his mouth, and Ivan couldn't help laughing out loud when he heard the funny cries of the street vendor, as if he was in the London black market he often visited. Voice. "Wahhaha..." Just after laughing a few words, Aiwen realized that this was not good, and quickly shut up.The climax of the British rock Hundred Mile High City with strong rhythm, explosive power and penetrating power came directly. When the two found the policeman ran away, the funny running and then took a cigar, which contrasted with the clumsy policeman. The whole picture was combined with the music , people can't help but start to follow the rock music, shaking their heads.The movie continues."Look? This seems to be a waste of my time. Other stores sell it for 900 yuan, so you might not be able to find it. I only sell it for 200 yuan. You are still talking! Where did you study economics? This is a great deal!" Think about it, Nick, I'm not selling it!" "Okay, okay, don't get excited, buddy." Fat Nick took out a lot of money. "Oh, FUCK! My mother, you have so much money!" "Man, you have so much money, two hundred pounds and you still want to bargain? What are you doing when you're not buying stereos? Financing revolution?". "A hundred pounds is a hundred pounds!" "No no no, two hundred, especially when the money in your pocket can pay for Libya's national debt!"Looking at Orlando's livid face on the screen, Ivan happily threw the popcorn into his mouth, and laughed violently with seven or eight audience members. This line almost made his face crooked. Oh god, maybe this movie wasn't made by egomaniacals, it looks like fun! In Aiwen's heart, this sentence came to mind inexplicably.When the audience thought that their eyes would be focused on these four little bastards, the movie changed, with countless revolving lanterns swaying on the screen,Five or six waves of people kept appearing in front of the audience, showing cunning, ferocious or funny faces. Although there are many, they are not messy. Not to mention those funny lines. "what is this?" "This is for spanking." "Don't swear in front of my son! No blasphemy!" "Why are you still counting money?" "Because I'm cool!" When it came to the scene of the game, Ivan held his breath like all the audience. "I need 250,000 pounds!" Nick Moran pretended to be calm, and said to Harry the axe. "No, I think you need 500,000 pounds to follow the card!" Ax Harry already knew Nick Moran's cards, but he lured Nick into being fooled by the old fox. "I'll follow!" Nick gritted his teeth. "Okay, before I lend you the money, I mean that if you lose, you have to pay back the money before Sunday. Do you understand?" Seeing Nick falling into the trap, Harry the Axe finally showed fierceness in his eyes.The opening sound of wild music sounded, Harry the ax showed a 7, and the camera quickly zoomed in on Nick.Another 7, another close-up of Nick's expression, fully coordinated with the music, showing the deep despair that is invincible but unable to resist incomparably!The card is opened, Ax Hazao is a pair of 7s plus a 4.Music started, the slightly psychedelic music played, and the most classic scene in the movie appeared. It took a long time for Zhang Dongcheng and Walter to match perfectly. It was like a hallucination after taking drugs. Nick's card was only a pair of 6s.Nick, who lost the card, stood up and put his clothes on his shoulders. On the camera, he seemed to sink into the bottom of the sea, with beads of sweat on his forehead. The combination of various montage techniques and Nick Moran's wonderful performance until the end made the film critics Calvin couldn't help but be overwhelmed.This shooting method is very imaginative and very emotional! Calvin was intoxicated for a while before he realized that his thigh was hurting. He looked down and gritted his teeth to find that his leg was completely red from being slapped foolishly by him!As an ordinary audience, Ivan is not as literary as Calvin. He is just like other audience members in the screening room, looking forward to the next joke, and then rolls around in his seat laughing after the unexpected.The marijuana grower with an electric iron to burn money, the fat Nick who drank tea at the black drug dealer but was startled by the broken coffee table, the ax Harry who killed people with a 15-inch **** and took the fire extinguisher and then The drug dealer who ignites a big fireball, every few minutes or less, the whole big projection room will be filled with all kinds of strange laughter.Especially when Orlando was talking about the idea of the "Old Glass Club" in a serious manner, the whole projection room laughed uproariously, and Ivan almost didn't laugh until he got under the chair. "How long will it take to get the money?" Jason Statham said. "Not more than four weeks." Orlando said firmly. "What's the use of that, we have to pay back the money in six days! No, it's five days..." Jason Statham said helplessly, spreading his hands.Orlando froze, then shook his head, and said firmly: "Anyway, this is a brilliant idea!"This sentence made the movie theater laugh even more. Ivan patted the chair and laughed wildly, spilling popcorn all over the floor.On the screen, Nick Moran and his gang are discussing how to rob the robber next door.The former pizza shop waiter, now Zhang Dongcheng's most considerate cadre, fat Andy, wearing a black windbreaker, dressed in a refined manner, with a cigarette in his hand, very serious, with viciousness and viciousness, and self-righteously said : "That's right. Give them a hard time, or they will die! I think it's a good idea to bring knives. Bring a few bright big knives, the kind that can be used to skin crocodiles!"The camera is a close-up of Andy's face, with the air of a weapon expert. "Knives are better, knives don't make noise, the quieter they are, the better. Fuck the **** out of them, know we're not kidding! Guns are good, but, masters, use knives!" That ace of masters, masters, masters, Zhang Dongcheng called CUT dozens of times, and it was shot when Fatty Andy was about to collapse, and now it finally received the effect. "What secrets did you have in the past?" Orlando was taken aback by the master's appearance. "I don't know which is more scary, the robbery or your past!" Jason Statham immediately answered.Typical British humor may seem normal to Chinese people, but in the UK, this sentence made countless audiences go crazy with laughter. According to statistics, the demand for paper towels in movie theaters has surged, and almost seven out of every ten buckets of popcorn sold Wrapping tissuesThe marijuana girl who had been huddled on the sofa suddenly descended into the world like an angel, picked up the machine gun, and stood up like a mighty and invincible Iron King Kong. Amidst the violent heavy metal music, she suddenly pulled the trigger! "Boom boom boom boom boom!"In slow motion, the gunfire is in full bloom, bullets are screaming and galloping, and the shell casings are falling down like raindrops, dancing the dance of death on the carpet and in the close-up of the camera!The sofa pierced by bullets is trembling and bursting, all kinds of blown glasses are shattering, the screaming robbers are flying and falling in the sky, and the blonde girl digging her mouth is extremely brave! "Oh YE, well done, girl!" Ivan's eyes widened, wanting to see the scene of blood flying everywhere.After the last bullet was fired, the robber leader stood up: "Where did this guy come from?" Then he swung a punch and knocked the invincible woman unconscious to the ground.The camera moved to other robbers, and the audience realized that the seemingly awesome woman had emptied all the magazines, but not a single one! "Oh, haha, my god!" A group of spectators burst into tears from laughter and got under the chairs directly. "Bacon, go and see what we have robbed." The group of four who successfully robbed drove away in a car. "We hit the jackpot this time!" Jason Statham said excitedly. "Lots of marijuana, tons of money!"The three people sitting in front showed satisfied smiles on their faces, but Jason's last words made the cinema, which hadn't stopped laughing for a few minutes, laugh again. "Marijuana, money, and a traffic cop!" "What!" The faces of the first three froze, all of them couldn't believe it. "My God, Ed, we actually have a traffic cop in the car!" "What are they doing with a traffic cop?" "I didn't know, knock him unconscious and throw him out!" Bacon was dazed by this sudden incident, so he could only command casually. "Knock him unconscious? With what? How?" Jason Statham continued to ask idiotically. "I don't know, use your imagination!"Jason Statham didn't say a word, he pressed the traffic policeman who was raising his hands for fear of being beaten into the car, and punched him. "Ah..." The traffic police screamed. "Hey, it's knocking him out, not touching him!" Orlando angrily accused Jason Statham of not using his strength. "If you keep talking, I'll knock you out! If you want to knock him out, do it yourself!" Jason Statham replied angrily. "I hate the traffic policeman the most!" Bacon said without thinking, and then the three of them rushed to the back and started punching and kicking the hapless traffic policeman!The violent laughter didn't stop from the beginning, and at the end, the tears flowed from the laughter. All the audience couldn't sit still, and Aiwen's face was twitching, and he had to massage his face desperately. Then, all kinds of chaos and coincidences, all kinds of teams and gangs fighting, everyone is excited to watch, watching this unparalleled movie.Orlando drove to the bridge, and Bacon and his group received the package at home, which contained only an album. 250,000 pounds to 300,000 pounds!Those two guns are worth so much money!Three people started to take out their phones, and then said in unison: "What's the number of Tom's phone?"Bacon impatiently signaled others not to call: "The line will be busy, let me come, let me come"And Tom on the bridge wanted to throw the gun away, but he threw it by the bridge and didn't fall. "Damn, the phone is dead! Give me your phone!" Ed growled at the soap.Tom on the bridge is biting the phone, with a gun in his hand, at this moment, the phone rang!The movie ended, and the subtitles quickly passed, "Director, Smith Zhang, starring, Nick Moran, Orlando Bloom, Jason Statham, Andy..."When the audience came back to their senses, the movie was over, and there were only heavy breathing and gasping sounds like teeth hurting in the entire auditorium.Maybe they walked into the cinema because they were as bored as Ivan, or they chose "Two Smoking Barrels" because they really didn't have any other movies to watch and were not influenced by the tabloid propaganda, but without exception, these guys Now they are rubbing their faces vigorously, hoping to recover the sore face as soon as possible."YE, it's really a tuner, and it's an open ending. Did that guy answer the phone at the end? If he answered the phone, the antique gun would definitely fall into the water!" Someone sighed, non-stop stroking his belly.Oh, my God, there really was a fan chasing him to the cinema to watch a movie. Zhang Dongcheng, who was hiding aside, couldn't help but put a smile on his face. Unfortunately, there is only one. Ai Wen walked out of the screening room almost scrambling. Everyone who came out with him was the same, holding their waists and holding their stomachs, and there were tears in the corners of their eyes that could not be wiped away."Oh, God, I can swear this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. Just remembering that London accent, ouch, my stomach hurts." A middle-aged man sat there and groaned while rubbing his stomach. . "It's so cool for you to be HIGH here, maybe you won't even be able to find your **** when you go to the toilet!" Someone next to him immediately answered, and then all the people who came out laughed with their stomachs in their arms, even walking staggeringly. "Where's my phone? I'm going to call Hammy and tell him I found a great movie!" someone excitedly said to a friend, then pulled out the phone."Hey Hammy, come to the cinema and watch a movie, there's a f*cking flick that's worth the money! Oh yeah, bring some tissues when you come! What, dirty movies? FUCK YOUR BRAINS Could there be something other than sperm in it? It's a comedy, Jem and I had a **** laugh! The rock music in this movie is very, very good, SHIT, come on.. Well, you miser, I Please, hurry up, we are going to watch it for the second time!"Read it a second time? Seems like a good idea! After hearing this, Ivan rubbed his face that was about to freeze from laughing vigorously, and then hurriedly ran to buy tickets. "It's all about you. You took me to watch a movie on Monday. It's nothing to watch at all. Also, the one you chose is so bad, it's just a bad movie among bad movies!" "Oh, God, I only have time tonight, hey, don't go."Aiwen looked up, but it was just before buying the ticket, he watched the movie poster with him and still didn't know what good couple to see. At that time, the woman still said with contempt that "Two Smoking Barrels" was an arrogant film movie of.Looks like they picked another movie and got screwed."Hey man, if you want to take your girlfriend to a movie the next time you want her to burst into your arms laughing, I suggest you watch Two Smoking Barrels! It's not some cocky movie, it's A film by a talented director! Unbeatable film!"The man was stunned, looked back at the complacent Ivan, turned around and continued chasing his girlfriend. Fortunately, I wasn't blinded by the egomaniac's statement like his girlfriend. Ivan blew a loud whistle, and quickly bought a ticket for the next show, waiting to watch it again. Of the eight or nine spectators in the first show, four or five stayed. Calvin, one of the best film critics in the UK, also stayed and bought tickets for the second viewing.Unlike the tuner who keeps people watching with a sense of suspense, "Two Smoking Barrels" is to enjoy fun, watch trends, and experience coolness and then watch it again. Calvin is naturally different from other audiences. He always feels that he is the first Yiyi didn't grasp the inner meaning of this movie at all, and he didn't know how to write a movie review for this movie. Oh NO! This **** is an epoch-making pioneering work!Sitting on the sofa, Calvin, who was infected by the audience's foul language, suddenly figured out that this movie can't be used in previous movies. If you must find a movie, Quentin's "Reservoir Dogs" barely has it. Some shadows are inside.This twenty-year-old director is truly a **** genius! Is this a cocky movie? Who the **** did the shit!Another group of viewers came in. Since the ten o'clock movie was already a non-prime time period, the audience at this time period was even more pitiful than the previous time period, and only two or three new audience members were added.But whether it's Ivan and the old audience who watched it once, or the new audience who came in to watch, without exception, they all stooped, held their stomachs, leaned on the wall, and walked out of the cinema staggeringly. what's the situation? Without him, these people were all laughed at by "Two Smoking Barrels".Early the next morning, Zhang Dongcheng received a call from Auston, the owner of Hammer Films. "Smith, very bad news. The audience in the first game yesterday was terrible, let alone the one at ten o'clock." Auston's deep voice came from the phone. "I know, I went to the scene yesterday and know the real situation." Zhang Dongcheng's tone was very calm, but he was still unusually full of confidence. "According to the data sent by the theater chain, the attendance rate was only 7% yesterday. This data is really not good.""Really? The movie theater I was in yesterday had 200 seats, plus I only had 10 spectators, so the attendance rate was only 5%. So the other movie theater that played our movie should have 18 spectators, um, good!" "Oh, it sounds good to you? Is there anything special about it?" Alston asked strangely."As a film company owner, what you care most about is the attendance rate, the box office. But as a director, I also need to care about the reaction of the audience. They laugh or curse, they pat the chairs to cheer, or they pat the chairs to scold their mothers. . Zhang Dongcheng smiled slightly. "Really? So the audience's reaction was very enthusiastic?" Alston was a little surprised, but he continued to ask.Alston almost gave up hope for "Two Smoking Barrels", so he didn't watch the premiere at all. "Five of the first batch of nine viewers watched it a second time, what do you think?" Zhang Dongcheng finally showed a hint of complacency in his smile."Are you serious? More than half of the people watched it a second time?" Alston said in disbelief, and after thinking about it, his impatient voice came from the microphone: "Tonight I will also Go to the cinema!"The box office revenue on the first day is almost negligible. According to the data provided by the theater, "Two Smoking Barrels" only earned 28 pounds one film ticket, a pound! This is the data obtained after playing two games in one night!Oh, my God, this is clearly the rhythm of losing everything.But soon, the box office data on the second day unexpectedly tripled to 84, the number of viewers was 84, and the attendance rate of the first show reached 14.7%! On the third day, the box office data shocked everyone. The number of viewers soared all the way to 424 people, and the box office revenue was 424 pounds. The attendance rate of the first show exceeded 60%! Sixty percent! In just three days, "Two Smoking Barrels" exceeded the expectations of the general manager of the theater, Edward, and the attendance rate far left the 50% hurdle behind! Well, let's turn the clock back to Tuesday and see what happened."Gigger, listen to me, put those chicks aside, there is a movie that is so cool, so cool, so funny that you can't even stand up!" Watched two movies that night Ivan grabbed his buddy Giger early the next morning and recommended him to watch a movie. "FUCK, I haven't been to a movie theater for many years. It's not a Hollywood blockbuster!" Giger said casually."The rock music in it is great, and it's an epoch-making gangster comedy. Well, if you don't watch it, give me back the money!" Ai Wen was really angry. If friends don't share such a great movie , How can I say the lines in it are funny in the future? "Oh, SHIT! Is there anyone as serious as you? Well, I'll go and have a look." Giger raised his hand helplessly.That night, when Ivan came out with Giger, whose face was cramped, he said triumphantly: "How about it, I didn't make a mistake in recommending it!" "That's right, it's so **** right. I'll call my brothers to see it tomorrow, oh my face!" Giger just rubbed his face. "What if they don't come?" Ivan asked. "Don't come? If you don't come, you don't even have to do it!"The other side of London: "I accidentally saw a very fun and cool movie yesterday. If it wasn't for my business, I would like to watch it again today!" "Really? What movie?" "Two big smoking guns, wow haha, don't mention how funny it is, I almost died laughing in the movie theater, and there were even people lying on the ground laughing beside me." "No way, is it so funny? Didn't the newspapers say that it was a movie made by an arrogant man?" "What kind of megalomaniac, that's all newspaper nonsense. Go and see it, you will never regret it! I will discuss the ending with you tomorrow, the ending is the most fun." "OK, it happens to be fine at night, I'll go take a look." the next day: "Read it?" "I watched it, I laughed so hard, this movie is really good, I plan to invite the whole family to watch it again tomorrow, my brother will definitely like this movie." "Haha, what could be wrong with my recommendation? Tomorrow I have an appointment with a large group of people to watch this movie, let's go together!" Or, on the other side of London. "Accompany me to watch a movie tonight. That guy Harder said it was very funny, and the style of the whole movie is very unique. He is now looking for the clothes worn by the actors in the street, saying that it is really cool!" "Ah, I invited my girlfriend to dinner!""What? You got a new girlfriend? If you lie to me, I'll kill you. If you fool me, or I think you're fooling me, I'll kill you too. If you forget, I will too Kill you. In fact, you have to work very hard to save your life. Did you understand what I said? Because if you don't understand, I will kill you!" "Uh, FUCK, what are you doing?" "Haha, this is the movie that Harder introduced, the lines in Two Smoking Barrels, isn't it funny?" "Okay, for the sake of killing me, let's go together at night."In London, England, in September 1995, a trend was inexplicably blown up, first by a few people, and then slowly spread to hundreds of people. When this trend slowly penetrated into the youngest and most energetic university campus, the outbreak The passion that came out caught countless people off guard.Perhaps, even those who are keen to keep pulling and haven't seen it, and chattering about how Two Smoking Barrels is so classic, they may not realize that they are making history. "It should be the brother of Wancuo, NO is the mother, well, the mother of the brother is not the same?" "I'd rather defend myself with drumsticks to be safer!" "Guns are just for show, masters use knives!"The dialogue in "Two Smoking Barrels" spread like a storm on the university campus, and it swept away without any hindrance, especially when the person who spoke the lines was complacent while the person opposite was speechless. Finding out and getting to the bottom of it became the only idea.First, students from one or two universities gathered in groups, as if rushing to the battlefield to watch, and then the entire British academy was empty at night.As trendsetters, these college students may be full of English lines and idioms after watching it, or they may be looking for cool clothes similar to those in the play to arm themselves, or they may be frantically looking for Those violent and exciting Britpop, heavy metal, reggae, punk and jazz songs are easy to listen to a hundred times.The emerging network has enabled these people with the most sense of the times to find a bosom friend. "I beg for all the soundtracks in "Two Smoking Barrels"!" - Netizen Dark Mage "I'm looking for the soundtrack of "Two Smoking Barrels" where I lost my money when I gambled!" Netizen is super bad "Where is the black windbreaker that Jason Statham wore when he first appeared on the stage? Where can I buy it? If you know it, give me the address. I want to buy it for my boyfriend!" Netizen Jenny.Where can I buy that silver necklace worn by Vinnie Jones? I've been looking for it for three days! It's a high price! Netizen JaredMore and more people have found resonance, found confidantes, and found all the fun related to this movie on the Internet. The trend is gradually rising like the eye of the storm in the Pacific Ocean. What's even more frightening is that this movie started to go up and down, attracting the attention of British people under the age of 30 and British children over the age of 15. It fell like a domino, and it was unstoppable!HOHO, let us turn the time back to Thursday, the fourth day of the screening of "Two Smoking Barrels".Mr. Edward, the general manager of Cineworld Group, received yesterday's theater data in the early morning of Thursday. While drinking coffee with his wife, he maintained the slow and luxurious temperament of a British gentleman, looking at the latest attendance and box office statistics. .When his eyes gradually moved down and he saw a line of writing, his British gentlemanly demeanor was gone, and he almost knocked over the coffee cup in surprise, splashing hot coffee on his face, which made him stand up involuntarily, It hurts to jump desperately. Regardless of the fact that his face was flushed red, Edward picked up the somewhat wet statistical table, shook off the coffee juice desperately, stared at the data on it with wide eyes, and soon burst into laughter. "Oh, God, is this Smith really a genius director? The attendance rate of the first show was 60%! It broke through the 50% threshold in three days!" Edward looked at the data and couldn't hide his smile. "What are you talking about? Edward." Madam asked puzzled."There's a kid, maybe I really picked up a treasure! No, I'm going to the scene tonight to have a look, don't let that old fox of Auston spend money to hire someone to achieve his goal!" Edward threw it thoughtlessly. With the next sentence, he rushed to the door and left under the strange eyes of his wife.When Mr. Edward walked into the movie theater on Thursday night, everything in front of him shocked him even more than in the morning!In the ticket hall, more than 400 to 500 people were crowded, and all of them were young people under the age of 30. They lined up, some looked ahead anxiously, kept poking their heads, some chatted on the phone, some Some of them were laughing and playing, and some were scrambling for seats, playing poker in groups!What, these people are all here to buy tickets, are they all for that "Two Smoking Barrels"? This thought suddenly popped into Edward's mind. Soon, his idea was confirmed, and the conductor shouted loudly: "Today, the tickets for the two movies of "Two Smoking Barrels" are all sold out, and now we can only buy tickets for tomorrow!" "Oh no, bastard! I came to watch this movie specially, what are you doing!" "Tomorrow? Wait until tomorrow? No, I want to watch it today! I don't want to be laughed at by Harry with the lines in it!" "FUCK! Why don't you line up a few more games? I want to watch "Two Smoking Barrels"!"The conductor's words stirred up waves, and the audience in the entire ticket hall was excited. They waited in line for such a long time, and now they tell themselves that they have no tickets? Clay figurines also have three elements of soil nature! "Asshole, call your manager out!" "We're going to see a movie, we're going to see Two Smoking Barrels!" "It's funny, there are only two theaters for such a great movie, and there are only two screenings! Does your manager have any financial sense and want to make money?" "That's right, a complete idiot, the manager of the movie theater is an idiot!" "I want to buy movie tickets for "Two Smoking Barrels" at a high price. I will offer two pounds, two pounds a piece!" "SHIT, who is short of your two pounds, I offer ten pounds, do you have anything to sell? You can earn nine pounds by standing in line, this is a great opportunity!"Noisy sounds resounded through the sky, and the entire ticket office was in a mess. Some cursed, some smashed the glass desperately when they couldn't get a ticket, some paid a high price for a glimpse of the truth, some despised the cinema manager, in short, this was the case. None of the more than 200 people who didn't get a ticket left, they all stayed in the ticket office, desperately venting their dissatisfaction, but they just didn't leave!They are all waiting for a miracle, or longing for a miracle, looking forward to who can hear their voices, and don't let this enthusiasm be shattered by the reality of no tickets.
