“Hah…”
I sighed for the umpteenth time today.
I am Kiara Della Scala, an alien with memories of a previous life.
From the time I was born.
I hardly ever cried.
I was quick to stand.
I was quick to speak.
I’ve heard a lot of things, but I’ve only vaguely known about it since I was little.
It wasn’t until I was three years old that my vague memories returned to some extent.
I thought it was a bad dream.
Nightmares come and go.
Both when I was awake and when I was asleep.
I was just scared.
I often had nightmares in the middle of the night and started crying.
When this happened, my mother and the others would say to me.
“It’s just a bad dream. It will go away soon.”
But that was not the case.
And even when I was with other children my age, I could not get along with them.
I tried to get along with them, though.
(Why is this fun?)
I thought in my mind.
Children are sensitive.
I guess they realized what was going on in my mind, and they all left me.
Yeah, I can’t be helped.
I could easily have conversations with people who were older than me.
But the older people would gently say this to me.
“Kids should play with other kids. You may not understand now, but you will later.”
I know they are saying this for my own good.
But I can’t get along with them.
◆◇◆◇◆
I have an older brother who is two years older than me.
It’s strange for me to say this as a child, but I thought he was a strange kid.
He seems to be very calm for his age and wants to know everything when there is something on his mind.
When he does, he acts outrageously like a different person.
Occasionally, he would stare blankly into the distance.
In such cases, I saw him as more mature than father.
Maybe I could get along with him.
But what if I’m wrong and couldn’t get along with him …… What should I do?
I’m scared.
As I was struggling, my brother spoke to me.
“Do you always have scary-like dreams, Kiara?”
I was startled.
I was surprised that he said it was like a dream when everyone around me said it was a dream.
Maybe he’ll listen to me properly?
My brother stared at me.
“It’s been going on forever, hasn’t it? I’m sorry for asking you something you don’t want to talk about.”
My brother looked worried.
“But …… I’m curious, you know, why such a nasty thing has been going on for so long. Can I do something to help Kiara to stop seeing it?”
The adults just said that she would stop seeing it eventually.
But my brother was different.
He’s trying to help me.
When I tried to tell him what it was, I was too scared to say.
“I’m scared.”
That’s the best I could do.
“Oh, I’m sorry …… you don’t have to elaborate. I’m sure you’re scared. Do you see it at all times?”
“No, I see it at night …… or when I’m alone.”
“Then, I’ll be with you as much as I can. Then you won’t have to see it. If you’re scared at night, you can come to me.”
I was so cautious after what had happened that I couldn’t help but ask.
“Why are you doing this much for me?”
My brother smiled, blushing.
“Kiara is scared. Why would I just leave you alone? I don’t want to be afraid either. That’s why I want to help you if I can.”
I don’t understand what happened next.
I hugged my brother and continued to cry without making a sound.
And that brother of mine gently stroked my head.
◆◇◆◇◆
From that day on, my brother became special to me.
When I think back on it now, I think I’ve been spoiled by him so much.
Whenever I got scared at night, I would crawl into my brother’s bed.
When I was too pampered and tried to be reserved, my brother would come over and pat me on the head.
After that day, I didn’t have nightmares anymore.
But as I got older, I dimly realized that these were not nightmares but memories.
Whenever I had a problem, I would ask my brother.
" "
“Brother, do you remember every detail of your dreams?”
“I have dreams sometimes, but they’re all a mess. How should I say this …… It’s like looking at a picture book that’s been torn to pieces and scattered around.”
Strangely enough, my brother answers abstract questions as concretely as possible.
And then he gives me an answer.
“What is clear, I think, is memory.”
Sometimes I don’t know what my brother is seeing.
The image of a Sage who knows everything about the world, which I have read in picture books, comes to mind.
The word “memory” makes me want to ask him for an answer.
“Can you see other people’s memories?”
“You can’t see other people’s memories. As far as I know. If you could see other people’s memories …… it would be their memories, wouldn’t they?”
I thought I understood most of what my brother said and did.
But I couldn’t figure out the answer to this question.
When I made a face that said I didn’t understand look, my brother thought for a moment and then slowly began to speak.
“I saw this in a book in Papa’s study. That when we die, we are reborn again. It’s rare for someone to remember what happened before. There was such a thing.”
It wasn’t because it was my brother’s words, but I could easily accept it.
That memory is …… telling me that what I have been led to believe is a lie.
And that it is not possible according to the common sense of the world.
The apostle is always right and protects everyone.
And I know that it’s a lie too.
I can’t tell anyone about this.
If even my brother hates me for telling him this …… I’ll really be alone.
I was so scared.
But maybe my brother would accept me.
What if he doesn’t?
I was too scared to give an answer.
“Hah…”
I sighed for the umpteenth time today.
I am Kiara Della Scala, an alien with memories of a previous life.
From the time I was born.
I hardly ever cried.
I was quick to stand.
I was quick to speak.
I’ve heard a lot of things, but I’ve only vaguely known about it since I was little.
It wasn’t until I was three years old that my vague memories returned to some extent.
I thought it was a bad dream.
Nightmares come and go.
Both when I was awake and when I was asleep.
I was just scared.
I often had nightmares in the middle of the night and started crying.
When this happened, my mother and the others would say to me.
“It’s just a bad dream. It will go away soon.”
But that was not the case.
And even when I was with other children my age, I could not get along with them.
I tried to get along with them, though.
(Why is this fun?)
I thought in my mind.
Children are sensitive.
I guess they realized what was going on in my mind, and they all left me.
Yeah, I can’t be helped.
I could easily have conversations with people who were older than me.
But the older people would gently say this to me.
“Kids should play with other kids. You may not understand now, but you will later.”
I know they are saying this for my own good.
But I can’t get along with them.
◆◇◆◇◆
I have an older brother who is two years older than me.
It’s strange for me to say this as a child, but I thought he was a strange kid.
He seems to be very calm for his age and wants to know everything when there is something on his mind.
When he does, he acts outrageously like a different person.
Occasionally, he would stare blankly into the distance.
In such cases, I saw him as more mature than father.
Maybe I could get along with him.
But what if I’m wrong and couldn’t get along with him …… What should I do?
I’m scared.
As I was struggling, my brother spoke to me.
“Do you always have scary-like dreams, Kiara?”
I was startled.
I was surprised that he said it was like a dream when everyone around me said it was a dream.
Maybe he’ll listen to me properly?
My brother stared at me.
“It’s been going on forever, hasn’t it? I’m sorry for asking you something you don’t want to talk about.”
My brother looked worried.
“But …… I’m curious, you know, why such a nasty thing has been going on for so long. Can I do something to help Kiara to stop seeing it?”
The adults just said that she would stop seeing it eventually.
But my brother was different.
He’s trying to help me.
When I tried to tell him what it was, I was too scared to say.
“I’m scared.”
That’s the best I could do.
“Oh, I’m sorry …… you don’t have to elaborate. I’m sure you’re scared. Do you see it at all times?”
“No, I see it at night …… or when I’m alone.”
“Then, I’ll be with you as much as I can. Then you won’t have to see it. If you’re scared at night, you can come to me.”
I was so cautious after what had happened that I couldn’t help but ask.
“Why are you doing this much for me?”
My brother smiled, blushing.
“Kiara is scared. Why would I just leave you alone? I don’t want to be afraid either. That’s why I want to help you if I can.”
I don’t understand what happened next.
I hugged my brother and continued to cry without making a sound.
And that brother of mine gently stroked my head.
◆◇◆◇◆
From that day on, my brother became special to me.
When I think back on it now, I think I’ve been spoiled by him so much.
Whenever I got scared at night, I would crawl into my brother’s bed.
When I was too pampered and tried to be reserved, my brother would come over and pat me on the head.
After that day, I didn’t have nightmares anymore.
But as I got older, I dimly realized that these were not nightmares but memories.
Whenever I had a problem, I would ask my brother.
" "
“Brother, do you remember every detail of your dreams?”
“I have dreams sometimes, but they’re all a mess. How should I say this …… It’s like looking at a picture book that’s been torn to pieces and scattered around.”
Strangely enough, my brother answers abstract questions as concretely as possible.
And then he gives me an answer.
“What is clear, I think, is memory.”
Sometimes I don’t know what my brother is seeing.
The image of a Sage who knows everything about the world, which I have read in picture books, comes to mind.
The word “memory” makes me want to ask him for an answer.
“Can you see other people’s memories?”
“You can’t see other people’s memories. As far as I know. If you could see other people’s memories …… it would be their memories, wouldn’t they?”
I thought I understood most of what my brother said and did.
But I couldn’t figure out the answer to this question.
When I made a face that said I didn’t understand look, my brother thought for a moment and then slowly began to speak.
“I saw this in a book in Papa’s study. That when we die, we are reborn again. It’s rare for someone to remember what happened before. There was such a thing.”
It wasn’t because it was my brother’s words, but I could easily accept it.
That memory is …… telling me that what I have been led to believe is a lie.
And that it is not possible according to the common sense of the world.
The apostle is always right and protects everyone.
And I know that it’s a lie too.
I can’t tell anyone about this.
If even my brother hates me for telling him this …… I’ll really be alone.
I was so scared.
But maybe my brother would accept me.
What if he doesn’t?
I was too scared to give an answer.
