In the evening, Mil was unusually sweet to me.
She seemed to be very tired from the legal discussion.
“Then lie down on the bed. I’ll repay you for yesterday.”
“Please~. I think I’ve used my brain more than any other time since I was born ……”
It would be too heavy for me to sit on her.
I straddled Mil’s hips and massaged her.
But ……
“Mil’s body is so soft. Did you need a massage?”
“I don’t care if you need it or not. I’m glad that you’re worried about me like that. So keep doing it.”
“It’s no problem.”
As I continued to massage her, Mil asked me a question.
“You know …… Al is very particular about everyone thinking for themselves, right?”
“You can do it by yourselves. So it’s not normal to live your life relying on someone else.”
“That’s true.”
“The world so far seems to be a world of borrowed things being used up and waiting for the next ……. That’s what the world looks like.”
“You mean the apostles?”
“Yes, that’s part of it. Even in such a world, things are ostensibly going well.”
Mil sighed.
“Well, I had no place in such a world, but ……. If my father hadn’t gotten involved with the apostles, we could have lived quietly in the forest all these years.”
I didn’t ask if that would have been better.
Because that would be like denying Mil her life.
“So, when they get used to getting things, they take them for granted. Moreover, they complain about being extravagant.”
She seemed to have realized my intention.
She laughed a little.
“That’s kind of unsightly, isn’t it ……”
“Yeah, but if they want to, that’s fine. But, some people will conclude and say, “You are wrong”. That’s what I find so annoying.”
“You were the first one to say that. You said you hated it.”
“It’s okay for other people to be alive. But to live outside the mainstream, you need confidence.”
It’s possible to do that with blind faith, but ……
It’s just the opposite of the mainstream.
“Confidence?”
“Once we have the laws we have now, we’ll have confidence in ourselves. Then we can say it’s okay to be alive.”
Mil listened to my words in silence.
“In order to do so, they’ll need to accomplish this on their own. But if I decide to do everything and they go along with it, then ……. That’s no different than being an apostle.”
“Yes, that’s true. You want everyone to feel confident and to take good care of what they have created. That’s why Al makes everyone do it.”
“That’s correct, as expected of my wife.”
""
“That’s great, but …… What’s left for Al?”
I hadn’t really thought about it.
I’ve been following my own thoughts and this is what I’ve come to.
“Self-satisfaction. Nothing else.”
Mil started laughing.
“Seriously …… I’m sure you’ll just brush it off if I question it anyway. Can I ask you one more question?”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Mil asking me anything, is there?”
Except for my reincarnation story, though ……
“Al doesn’t like to have the children fight or work, right? It happens a lot, you know?”
I was trying to choose my words as I continued my massage.
Then Mil interfered.
“You don’t have to choose your words.”
“Well …… You can laugh if you want. Children, you know, they don’t know how to make their own decisions in life yet.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t mind adults who understand that a battle is a life or death, a fight for their lives. But I don’t think it’s right to make children fight.”
“Even in a pinch?”
“Yeah, if you allow it, the interpretations will keep growing. You can easily push a child into a fight. Fighting is only for those who choose to do so. That’s what I think.”
I put a little more effort into the massage.
“That’s why when they grow up, they’ll remember the old days and say, “Come to think of it, I wish I hadn’t fought.” I don’t want them to regret that they were forced to fight.”
Mil noticed this and took a gentler tone.
“It’s your own choice, isn’t it?”
“Also, it’s more dangerous for children because their physical abilities are still developing. If you want to, you can trick …… them into fighting you.”
I continued with a sigh.
“I don’t want to put a child in a life or death situation. It’s not about being nice. It’s that I hate myself for making them do it. I say a lot of things that sound great, but that’s the truth. Also, I don’t want them to work, because when they grow up, they will work even if they don’t want to. I’m talking about letting them play while they can. A lord who can’t even guarantee that is incompetent.”
Mil suddenly changed her position and faces up.
She grabbed my arm when I stopped massaging her and pinched it hard.
“Ow!”
“Al, please don’t blame yourself.”
“Thank you, Mil, for listening to me like this. That’s how I’m getting by.”
Mil sighed loudly.
“I think Al needs a different kind of massage ……”
“Hey, no way ……”
Mil looked at me like she was a hunter.
“That’s how it is. Don’t expect to sleep today.”
In the evening, Mil was unusually sweet to me.
She seemed to be very tired from the legal discussion.
“Then lie down on the bed. I’ll repay you for yesterday.”
“Please~. I think I’ve used my brain more than any other time since I was born ……”
It would be too heavy for me to sit on her.
I straddled Mil’s hips and massaged her.
But ……
“Mil’s body is so soft. Did you need a massage?”
“I don’t care if you need it or not. I’m glad that you’re worried about me like that. So keep doing it.”
“It’s no problem.”
As I continued to massage her, Mil asked me a question.
“You know …… Al is very particular about everyone thinking for themselves, right?”
“You can do it by yourselves. So it’s not normal to live your life relying on someone else.”
“That’s true.”
“The world so far seems to be a world of borrowed things being used up and waiting for the next ……. That’s what the world looks like.”
“You mean the apostles?”
“Yes, that’s part of it. Even in such a world, things are ostensibly going well.”
Mil sighed.
“Well, I had no place in such a world, but ……. If my father hadn’t gotten involved with the apostles, we could have lived quietly in the forest all these years.”
I didn’t ask if that would have been better.
Because that would be like denying Mil her life.
“So, when they get used to getting things, they take them for granted. Moreover, they complain about being extravagant.”
She seemed to have realized my intention.
She laughed a little.
“That’s kind of unsightly, isn’t it ……”
“Yeah, but if they want to, that’s fine. But, some people will conclude and say, “You are wrong”. That’s what I find so annoying.”
“You were the first one to say that. You said you hated it.”
“It’s okay for other people to be alive. But to live outside the mainstream, you need confidence.”
It’s possible to do that with blind faith, but ……
It’s just the opposite of the mainstream.
“Confidence?”
“Once we have the laws we have now, we’ll have confidence in ourselves. Then we can say it’s okay to be alive.”
Mil listened to my words in silence.
“In order to do so, they’ll need to accomplish this on their own. But if I decide to do everything and they go along with it, then ……. That’s no different than being an apostle.”
“Yes, that’s true. You want everyone to feel confident and to take good care of what they have created. That’s why Al makes everyone do it.”
“That’s correct, as expected of my wife.”
""
“That’s great, but …… What’s left for Al?”
I hadn’t really thought about it.
I’ve been following my own thoughts and this is what I’ve come to.
“Self-satisfaction. Nothing else.”
Mil started laughing.
“Seriously …… I’m sure you’ll just brush it off if I question it anyway. Can I ask you one more question?”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Mil asking me anything, is there?”
Except for my reincarnation story, though ……
“Al doesn’t like to have the children fight or work, right? It happens a lot, you know?”
I was trying to choose my words as I continued my massage.
Then Mil interfered.
“You don’t have to choose your words.”
“Well …… You can laugh if you want. Children, you know, they don’t know how to make their own decisions in life yet.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t mind adults who understand that a battle is a life or death, a fight for their lives. But I don’t think it’s right to make children fight.”
“Even in a pinch?”
“Yeah, if you allow it, the interpretations will keep growing. You can easily push a child into a fight. Fighting is only for those who choose to do so. That’s what I think.”
I put a little more effort into the massage.
“That’s why when they grow up, they’ll remember the old days and say, “Come to think of it, I wish I hadn’t fought.” I don’t want them to regret that they were forced to fight.”
Mil noticed this and took a gentler tone.
“It’s your own choice, isn’t it?”
“Also, it’s more dangerous for children because their physical abilities are still developing. If you want to, you can trick …… them into fighting you.”
I continued with a sigh.
“I don’t want to put a child in a life or death situation. It’s not about being nice. It’s that I hate myself for making them do it. I say a lot of things that sound great, but that’s the truth. Also, I don’t want them to work, because when they grow up, they will work even if they don’t want to. I’m talking about letting them play while they can. A lord who can’t even guarantee that is incompetent.”
Mil suddenly changed her position and faces up.
She grabbed my arm when I stopped massaging her and pinched it hard.
“Ow!”
“Al, please don’t blame yourself.”
“Thank you, Mil, for listening to me like this. That’s how I’m getting by.”
Mil sighed loudly.
“I think Al needs a different kind of massage ……”
“Hey, no way ……”
Mil looked at me like she was a hunter.
“That’s how it is. Don’t expect to sleep today.”
