The day was finally over.
We parted ways after I promised Remn that I would tell him what happened later. I had a selfish desire to confide all my secrets to Patrick first.
The room was dark with no lights. Just the moonlight from the window to provides a nice glow.
Patrick was next to me, sitting on a chair, watching the moon. He said concernedly.
“We had a long day and you must be tired after everything that happened today, we can talk about this some other time—”
“It’s okay. We have to talk about this now or it’s gonna be harder for me.”
I have kept everything a secret until now. I’ve never told anyone. But I’m going to tell him about my secrets. It’s now or never.
It was finally the time for Patrick to know the truth about my past life, roots, and true identity.
The story about my reincarnation that I never told anyone because I was so worried that they might not believe me or reject me. I was confident that he would believe and accept me.
I felt more at ease starting the conversation than I thought I would.
“I have memories of my past life. I remember being born in another world, living my life, dying, and then being reborn as Yumiela.”
“Reincarnation… What do you mean by another world? Is this the parallel universe that Remn was talking about?”
“It’s not a parallel universe but a different world altogether. Remn used the branches metaphor to explain parallel universes and if we follow that metaphor, it’s a completely different tree. The world’s law, the continents’ shape, the history, everything was different. In my world, there was no magic.”
“No magic? It’s hard to imagine a world without magic.”
“From my perspective, it would be strange if there was magic.”
“Isn’t that inconvenient?”
“Science… ah— it was probably more convenient over there because they had other types of technology, something like magic tools.”
Huh? Why are we having a normal conversation? Is it that easy for him to accept it?
He doesn’t seem surprised or anything, which is not what I expected.
“Err, you’re not suspecting what I’m saying? I know this sounds crazy.”
“Never, but it all made sense that Yumiela’s unique personality came from another world.”
“Oh, you’re probably right. Perhaps that’s why I’m so different. Since the world is different, the common sense is different, too.”
“Yeah. Yumiela seems to have survived a difficult world, but this world is relatively peaceful. You’ll get used to it little by little.”
Patrick gives me a heartfelt stare.
Right, this world is at peace? I don’t have to live like I used to?? The mood almost caught me off guard, but not quite. I feel like his kindness caught me off guard, but I have to say it.
“…Things are more dangerous in this world.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“It’s true. I can’t say that the whole world is peaceful but my immediate environments are peaceful. I’ve lived in Japan for almost twenty years and I’ve never been in mortal danger.”
“Twenty years? Did you die that early in your previous life?”
Oh, no. I was planning on saying that at the end that my mental age is a little older. I made a mistake in my plans.
Although I said twenty years, technically it’s nineteen years and a few months. That is about how old I am now, which means my exact age is nineteen plus nineteen…. That’s not right. The first time I remembered something from my previous life was when Yumiela was about five years old.
Nineteen plus nineteen minus five… is difficult to calculate. It was doubtful that it could be solved using a supercomputer. Not wanting to embarrass future mathematicians like Fermat, I decided not to mention the formula in the example.
“I barely lived twenty years, I think. No, it was shorter than that. Yup, much shorter. It was just a moment, really. Within the margin of error. In fact, it’s almost as if I didn’t live at all. Since I’m Yumiela now, I think it is only right to refer to my age as Yumiela’s age.”
“Hmm? What kind of…?”
Huh? Patrick, he didn’t notice? Can I deceive him like this?
No, I don’t care if he notices. The younger the woman, the better is a theory created by someone stupid. According to this broken theory, the cutest baby is a zero-year-old baby… mm, babies are cute. Maybe that theory is right.
As I was developing these strange thoughts in my brain, Patrick, who was groaning, opened his closed eyes in a huff. Oh, did he find out?
“Yumiela lived in a different world as a different person who wasn’t Yumiela. That person’s profile is completely different from Yumiela’s. Am I right so far?”
“Yeah. Did you understand? It wouldn’t be good to hide it anymore, would it? Patrick may not be in love with me… ahaha, this is hard to say.”
Ehehe, I’m laughing but am not sure I’m doing it properly. What does a normal man think when he suddenly discovers that his girlfriend is almost twice his age?
Patrick is the only one that I trust, but I can’t shake the fear of being rejected.
When I didn’t say anything, Patrick slowly opened his mouth.
“Don’t tell me… were you a male in your previous life?”
“I was a female!”
It was an absurd misunderstanding. Seriously, that’s impossible.
You thought I was a guy? Where did you get that idea from? I’m totally a girl, inside and out!
Did Patrick think I was boyish by any chance?
“Eh, what? Would you believe me if I told you I was a male? Did you underestimate my femininity?”
“No, that’s not it. Yumiela is feminine. It’s just….”
He hastily tries to deny it.
I’m not gonna be upset about this. It will be something that will be brought up again and again for a long time. It’s like holding a grudge until you die. Every time something happens, it will be dragged out again.
“Nothing? It’s okay, I’m not upset at all? Why are you so eager to explain yourself?”
“I think Yumiela has a masculine side to her. There are times when I feel like I’m with a male friend. While that sounds like an exaggeration, I don’t think you have nearly enough femininity in you.”
“Yes? But that’s not what you said earlier, was it? What is the truth? I don’t believe what you’re saying.”
“It’s just that your girly side comes out of nowhere. I became constantly aware of it, and by the time I realized it, I couldn’t help but like it.”
“Ueheheheh!”
I made a really weird noise. Patrick, you like me too much, don’t you?
All is good now. If anything, I’m glad that I’m not that girly. If it wasn’t for that, he might not have fallen head over heels for me.
“Well, let’s not mention it. I am and always have been a woman, as long as you understand that everything will be fine.”
“I understand. Were you worrying about your age?”
Dang. He brought up the forbidden topic. I thought I distracted him when I mentioned something about my gender.
The lovely Yumiela was a boy or an old woman. Which would be more shocking to Patrick? Generally speaking… hmm, this is hard.
He opened his mouth with a weary look.
“I thought… Yumiela would become calmer as she got older….”
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“O—, I hope you don’t mind me saying this… I thought that your peculiarities were due to your lack of social interaction when you were young. And as time passed, you would become somewhat more sensible. Oh, were you in a similar situation in your previous life? I’m sorry for bringing up painful memories—”
“It’s fine. You don’t know about it.”
I guess it’s true that I didn’t have anyone to talk to in my childhood, maybe that caused my lack of social skills. However, the childhood in which my personality was formed was in my previous life, right? I had a normal life with my parents and regular friends.
Should I tell him that, too? I don’t want anyone to think that I was warped because of my unfortunate childhood.
“I had a normal family and friends in my previous life.”
“Are you… lying?”
“No, no, I’m not lying. When I was walking with my friend, I had an accident.”
“That just confuses me even more.”
Why? My friend who was with me at the time was at least more normal than me.
Position-wise, I think she was safe. Sometimes she had a funny sense of right and wrong but she was a good kid.
This is getting kind of tiring. Where was I?
I was living in a peaceful world (as a teenage girl) when I died in an accident and came to this world.
That’s it. I’ve spent enough time explaining when I could’ve given that one-sentence explanation.
“Haa… do you have any questions?”
“The world you were in before is peaceful, but it’s the kind of world where you die because of an accident? I don’t think that’s a peaceful world.”
“…In my previous life, I was just a regular person, though?”
“Eh?”
“Huh?”
This isn’t working. My words mean nothing.
“Look, in my previous life, I was a regular person. And then I was hit by a car… a car is something like a carriage, and I died.”
“Yumiela was killed… by a carriage?”
“Haven’t you heard about the occasional carriage fatalities in the capital?”
“But, Yumiela?”
I could tell Patrick was seriously confused from the way he covered his mouth with his hand.
Is this the end? Is this because I said I was a regular person?
“In my previous life, I was probably weaker than Miss Eleanora. I was the kind of person who’d break my leg if I jumped out of a second-floor window.”
“…?”
“And in Japan, I was weaker than the average person. I would get out of breath after a short run, I couldn’t carry a thirty kilogram bag of rice, the only athletic club I was in was junior high and it was table tennis club.”
Patrick went into a shock. This was the most confused Patrick I’ve ever seen. Is it shocking to find out I was weak in my previous life rather than how my previous life was like? It gives me a good idea about how he thinks of me on a daily basis.
After a minute or so, he starts to move. A minute full of silence is a pretty long time.
“…Are you saying that you’re a regular person in your previous life?”
“Yup, I was just a normal student.”
He finally understood what I’d been trying to say. But this is just the beginning, the real story is about to begin.
I’m getting tired of talking, but I’ll do my best.
“And now for the main topic. The story involves my parallel universe self.”
“I can kind of guess from what I’ve seen so far. This other Yumiela doesn’t have any memories about her previous life, does she?”
“That’s my guess.”
Thank you for making that conclusion. After this, I can start to explain that this world came from an otome game… this will be the most difficult part.
“I also know Yumiela’s true personality. There was a story in my previous world, and it’s just like this one.”
“Story? Are we living in a playbook?”
“Hmm… there are some differences, what do you think? The possibility that my previous life is also the world of yet another story also can’t be dismissed, so why waste time thinking about it?”
“…Right.”
There is more than enough possibility that the Japan I was living in could also be part of a game or manga world. Even if you can escape from the fictional world, there is no proof that the place is the original.
That’s why I consider this place where I live now as reality.
“Now, about the story. This story features the hero and the saintess who defeat the Demon King. After defeating the Demon King, an even stronger enemy will stand in their way. I was supposed to be that enemy.”
“…I see.”
“The protagonists would normally defeat that enemy, but there was a world where Yumiela won by some mistake. That would be the mentioned world.”
“Oh.”
Patrick nodded his head and closed his eyes to think about it.
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Since he was so perceptive, he would know who the hero and the saintess were.
He had collected his thoughts, Patrick took a deep breath and said.
“I understand the situation about Yumiela’s previous life as well as Yumiela’s original role. Based on that, I have one question.”
Only one question? If it were me, I’d be asking loads of questions. He didn’t have to be so cautious.
But I wonder what the only question that he wants to ask is? I can feel the weight of his question.
Patrick spoke up, looking a little uneasy.
“Are you happy that you came to this world? Have you ever thought about going back….”
“I think I’m already dead and I don’t want to go back. Even if you told me I could go back now, I don’t think I would. Besides, I’ve gotten accustomed to this place. And….”
I took a breath, exhaled, and then continued.
“Um… I’m glad I came here. Especially because I met you.”
I heard his mumbled reply, “That’s good to hear.” Then he laughed.
Embarrassed after being caught, I laughed, too.
I’ve been unable to share my secret for a long time. I felt a burden in my heart being lifted when I finally confided my secrets in him.
Stepping closer to him, I tiptoed in front of him. Because otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to look straight into his face.
The day was finally over.
We parted ways after I promised Remn that I would tell him what happened later. I had a selfish desire to confide all my secrets to Patrick first.
The room was dark with no lights. Just the moonlight from the window to provides a nice glow.
Patrick was next to me, sitting on a chair, watching the moon. He said concernedly.
“We had a long day and you must be tired after everything that happened today, we can talk about this some other time—”
“It’s okay. We have to talk about this now or it’s gonna be harder for me.”
I have kept everything a secret until now. I’ve never told anyone. But I’m going to tell him about my secrets. It’s now or never.
It was finally the time for Patrick to know the truth about my past life, roots, and true identity.
The story about my reincarnation that I never told anyone because I was so worried that they might not believe me or reject me. I was confident that he would believe and accept me.
I felt more at ease starting the conversation than I thought I would.
“I have memories of my past life. I remember being born in another world, living my life, dying, and then being reborn as Yumiela.”
“Reincarnation… What do you mean by another world? Is this the parallel universe that Remn was talking about?”
“It’s not a parallel universe but a different world altogether. Remn used the branches metaphor to explain parallel universes and if we follow that metaphor, it’s a completely different tree. The world’s law, the continents’ shape, the history, everything was different. In my world, there was no magic.”
“No magic? It’s hard to imagine a world without magic.”
“From my perspective, it would be strange if there was magic.”
“Isn’t that inconvenient?”
“Science… ah— it was probably more convenient over there because they had other types of technology, something like magic tools.”
Huh? Why are we having a normal conversation? Is it that easy for him to accept it?
He doesn’t seem surprised or anything, which is not what I expected.
“Err, you’re not suspecting what I’m saying? I know this sounds crazy.”
“Never, but it all made sense that Yumiela’s unique personality came from another world.”
“Oh, you’re probably right. Perhaps that’s why I’m so different. Since the world is different, the common sense is different, too.”
“Yeah. Yumiela seems to have survived a difficult world, but this world is relatively peaceful. You’ll get used to it little by little.”
Patrick gives me a heartfelt stare.
Right, this world is at peace? I don’t have to live like I used to?? The mood almost caught me off guard, but not quite. I feel like his kindness caught me off guard, but I have to say it.
“…Things are more dangerous in this world.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“It’s true. I can’t say that the whole world is peaceful but my immediate environments are peaceful. I’ve lived in Japan for almost twenty years and I’ve never been in mortal danger.”
“Twenty years? Did you die that early in your previous life?”
Oh, no. I was planning on saying that at the end that my mental age is a little older. I made a mistake in my plans.
Although I said twenty years, technically it’s nineteen years and a few months. That is about how old I am now, which means my exact age is nineteen plus nineteen…. That’s not right. The first time I remembered something from my previous life was when Yumiela was about five years old.
Nineteen plus nineteen minus five… is difficult to calculate. It was doubtful that it could be solved using a supercomputer. Not wanting to embarrass future mathematicians like Fermat, I decided not to mention the formula in the example.
“I barely lived twenty years, I think. No, it was shorter than that. Yup, much shorter. It was just a moment, really. Within the margin of error. In fact, it’s almost as if I didn’t live at all. Since I’m Yumiela now, I think it is only right to refer to my age as Yumiela’s age.”
“Hmm? What kind of…?”
Huh? Patrick, he didn’t notice? Can I deceive him like this?
No, I don’t care if he notices. The younger the woman, the better is a theory created by someone stupid. According to this broken theory, the cutest baby is a zero-year-old baby… mm, babies are cute. Maybe that theory is right.
As I was developing these strange thoughts in my brain, Patrick, who was groaning, opened his closed eyes in a huff. Oh, did he find out?
“Yumiela lived in a different world as a different person who wasn’t Yumiela. That person’s profile is completely different from Yumiela’s. Am I right so far?”
“Yeah. Did you understand? It wouldn’t be good to hide it anymore, would it? Patrick may not be in love with me… ahaha, this is hard to say.”
Ehehe, I’m laughing but am not sure I’m doing it properly. What does a normal man think when he suddenly discovers that his girlfriend is almost twice his age?
Patrick is the only one that I trust, but I can’t shake the fear of being rejected.
When I didn’t say anything, Patrick slowly opened his mouth.
“Don’t tell me… were you a male in your previous life?”
“I was a female!”
It was an absurd misunderstanding. Seriously, that’s impossible.
You thought I was a guy? Where did you get that idea from? I’m totally a girl, inside and out!
Did Patrick think I was boyish by any chance?
“Eh, what? Would you believe me if I told you I was a male? Did you underestimate my femininity?”
“No, that’s not it. Yumiela is feminine. It’s just….”
He hastily tries to deny it.
I’m not gonna be upset about this. It will be something that will be brought up again and again for a long time. It’s like holding a grudge until you die. Every time something happens, it will be dragged out again.
“Nothing? It’s okay, I’m not upset at all? Why are you so eager to explain yourself?”
“I think Yumiela has a masculine side to her. There are times when I feel like I’m with a male friend. While that sounds like an exaggeration, I don’t think you have nearly enough femininity in you.”
“Yes? But that’s not what you said earlier, was it? What is the truth? I don’t believe what you’re saying.”
“It’s just that your girly side comes out of nowhere. I became constantly aware of it, and by the time I realized it, I couldn’t help but like it.”
“Ueheheheh!”
I made a really weird noise. Patrick, you like me too much, don’t you?
All is good now. If anything, I’m glad that I’m not that girly. If it wasn’t for that, he might not have fallen head over heels for me.
“Well, let’s not mention it. I am and always have been a woman, as long as you understand that everything will be fine.”
“I understand. Were you worrying about your age?”
Dang. He brought up the forbidden topic. I thought I distracted him when I mentioned something about my gender.
The lovely Yumiela was a boy or an old woman. Which would be more shocking to Patrick? Generally speaking… hmm, this is hard.
He opened his mouth with a weary look.
“I thought… Yumiela would become calmer as she got older….”
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“O—, I hope you don’t mind me saying this… I thought that your peculiarities were due to your lack of social interaction when you were young. And as time passed, you would become somewhat more sensible. Oh, were you in a similar situation in your previous life? I’m sorry for bringing up painful memories—”
“It’s fine. You don’t know about it.”
I guess it’s true that I didn’t have anyone to talk to in my childhood, maybe that caused my lack of social skills. However, the childhood in which my personality was formed was in my previous life, right? I had a normal life with my parents and regular friends.
Should I tell him that, too? I don’t want anyone to think that I was warped because of my unfortunate childhood.
“I had a normal family and friends in my previous life.”
“Are you… lying?”
“No, no, I’m not lying. When I was walking with my friend, I had an accident.”
“That just confuses me even more.”
Why? My friend who was with me at the time was at least more normal than me.
Position-wise, I think she was safe. Sometimes she had a funny sense of right and wrong but she was a good kid.
This is getting kind of tiring. Where was I?
I was living in a peaceful world (as a teenage girl) when I died in an accident and came to this world.
That’s it. I’ve spent enough time explaining when I could’ve given that one-sentence explanation.
“Haa… do you have any questions?”
“The world you were in before is peaceful, but it’s the kind of world where you die because of an accident? I don’t think that’s a peaceful world.”
“…In my previous life, I was just a regular person, though?”
“Eh?”
“Huh?”
This isn’t working. My words mean nothing.
“Look, in my previous life, I was a regular person. And then I was hit by a car… a car is something like a carriage, and I died.”
“Yumiela was killed… by a carriage?”
“Haven’t you heard about the occasional carriage fatalities in the capital?”
“But, Yumiela?”
I could tell Patrick was seriously confused from the way he covered his mouth with his hand.
Is this the end? Is this because I said I was a regular person?
“In my previous life, I was probably weaker than Miss Eleanora. I was the kind of person who’d break my leg if I jumped out of a second-floor window.”
“…?”
“And in Japan, I was weaker than the average person. I would get out of breath after a short run, I couldn’t carry a thirty kilogram bag of rice, the only athletic club I was in was junior high and it was table tennis club.”
Patrick went into a shock. This was the most confused Patrick I’ve ever seen. Is it shocking to find out I was weak in my previous life rather than how my previous life was like? It gives me a good idea about how he thinks of me on a daily basis.
After a minute or so, he starts to move. A minute full of silence is a pretty long time.
“…Are you saying that you’re a regular person in your previous life?”
“Yup, I was just a normal student.”
He finally understood what I’d been trying to say. But this is just the beginning, the real story is about to begin.
I’m getting tired of talking, but I’ll do my best.
“And now for the main topic. The story involves my parallel universe self.”
“I can kind of guess from what I’ve seen so far. This other Yumiela doesn’t have any memories about her previous life, does she?”
“That’s my guess.”
Thank you for making that conclusion. After this, I can start to explain that this world came from an otome game… this will be the most difficult part.
“I also know Yumiela’s true personality. There was a story in my previous world, and it’s just like this one.”
“Story? Are we living in a playbook?”
“Hmm… there are some differences, what do you think? The possibility that my previous life is also the world of yet another story also can’t be dismissed, so why waste time thinking about it?”
“…Right.”
There is more than enough possibility that the Japan I was living in could also be part of a game or manga world. Even if you can escape from the fictional world, there is no proof that the place is the original.
That’s why I consider this place where I live now as reality.
“Now, about the story. This story features the hero and the saintess who defeat the Demon King. After defeating the Demon King, an even stronger enemy will stand in their way. I was supposed to be that enemy.”
“…I see.”
“The protagonists would normally defeat that enemy, but there was a world where Yumiela won by some mistake. That would be the mentioned world.”
“Oh.”
Patrick nodded his head and closed his eyes to think about it.
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Since he was so perceptive, he would know who the hero and the saintess were.
He had collected his thoughts, Patrick took a deep breath and said.
“I understand the situation about Yumiela’s previous life as well as Yumiela’s original role. Based on that, I have one question.”
Only one question? If it were me, I’d be asking loads of questions. He didn’t have to be so cautious.
But I wonder what the only question that he wants to ask is? I can feel the weight of his question.
Patrick spoke up, looking a little uneasy.
“Are you happy that you came to this world? Have you ever thought about going back….”
“I think I’m already dead and I don’t want to go back. Even if you told me I could go back now, I don’t think I would. Besides, I’ve gotten accustomed to this place. And….”
I took a breath, exhaled, and then continued.
“Um… I’m glad I came here. Especially because I met you.”
I heard his mumbled reply, “That’s good to hear.” Then he laughed.
Embarrassed after being caught, I laughed, too.
I’ve been unable to share my secret for a long time. I felt a burden in my heart being lifted when I finally confided my secrets in him.
Stepping closer to him, I tiptoed in front of him. Because otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to look straight into his face.
