Chapter 230: Soul
I would like to thank my beta, Akisu, for his help in this chapter.
23rd March 2012, Wakanda
(Jasmine Sayre POV)
I could feel the link between the trinity breaking. The agony I felt couldn't be described with simple words. It was like someone was killing me, splitting me to pieces on a fundamental level. I couldn't handle it, the agony. I was prepared for this to be my death. There was nothing that I could do. I wasn't the one powering the alchemical ritual, meaning that I couldn't even try to affect it in any way.
I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the inevitable. The ritual had failed as I died. I felt a comforting coolness surrounding me, reassuring me and stopping the pain. Was this death? I didn't know, but at least, I would die without any pain. I tried my best, but I guess that wasn't to be.
Was this the end of the Morrigan? Perhaps it simply was my time. Perhaps this was preferable to the identity death that could have happened to me had the ritual succeeded. My main regret was the fact that I would leave my family alone in a very troubling time. As for the multiverse, I didn't give a fuck about it. After all, I would be too dead to care.
These were my last thoughts before my mind was scattered like grains of sand.
Surprisingly, I gained awareness once more. It was odd. I was intimately familiar with the concept of Death. By definition, it's the separation between the trinity when the body fails. The mind is turned off, being completely bound to the body through the brain and the soul is released to the astral plane, to be collected and put through its afterlife until it's neutral enough to be collected into the well of souls to be reincarnated later on.
It was an elegant cycle, seemingly simple yet extremely complex in its details. But it also meant that I shouldn't be thinking right now. I shouldn't be saying these things in my head. I have no head. It didn't make any sense.
And yet it is happening. Was Death, the cosmic entity that I used to serve, planning something? Because my current coherence meant that I wasn't dead, that my mind and my soul were still connected somehow.
Yes, that was the most probable cause for my current situation, whatever that was. Oh, I just realized that my eyes were closed. Well, I'm not supposed to have eyes at all, so it's understandable that I didn't open them by reflex. I strained my imaginary muscles and the darkness lifted.
I looked around and I saw that the world around me was odd. The sky was dark, yet it had a purple glow to it. It slightly reminded me of northern lights. I took a step forward and my foot slipped on some water. I was on a beach, but the sea didn't seem to have any waves. It was perfectly still, reflecting the beautiful sky that illuminated this plane.
Wait a minute, I recognized this place, this beach. Excited, I turned around and gasped. I recognized the fine, snow white sand, the marble walls and the towers decorated with precious stones and metals. This was my home, my true home. This was Atlantis.
I spent what felt like hours admiring the details. It was the small things. My favorite food stall, the academy which was the second largest building, in both volume and height. And finally, the royal palace, my home. It was beautiful, it was nostalgic, and it wasn't real.
I knew it the moment I realized what this place was, that it wasn't real. Atlantis was destroyed. It was a fixed point in time, in every iteration of Atlantis throughout the multiverse. In every Earth filled with magic, Atlantis is built on an island, and in the end, it sinks. Sometimes it's because someone tried some forbidden magic, or angered a higher power, and sometimes it's a natural occurrence. But the truth was, that by the time that the non-magical population started learning how to write, Atlantis would be nothing more than a legend, a children's tale.
So, yes, I knew that this place wasn't real. It just couldn't be. Someone had made this place, but it had an odd feeling to it. I knelt down to feel the magic of this fake Atlantis only to gasp when I looked at my hand. It was almost transparent, and I immediately clocked where I was, "I'm in the astral plane."
The moment that I said this, I heard a small familiar cry. It soothed me and comforted me. It was Erebus. He appeared out of a shadow and made a small lap around the city. He then flew down towards me and my jaw dropped as he transformed into a human.
He looked like a middle aged Asian man in a dark suit. He had pale skin and hazel eyes that reminded me of my sister. He was a handsome man, I will admit to it, but I knew him for thousands of years and he had never taken the form of anything other than a bird.
I spluttered, "Since when could you do that?"
The man in front of me let out a chuckle, "This isn't the physical world, Morrigan. I can take any form I want, and I thought that this was the best one to be able to speak to you clearly."
"What's going on, Erebus? I should be dead. The ritual failed."
He nodded, "It failed. It was always going to fail, and in a way I think you hoped that it would."
"Do you really think that I would do this, leave my family behind, leave them to deal with Entropy by themselves?"
He shrugged, "You would be free of the responsibility, of the pain, of your life. Do not lie to me, Morrigan, I have known you for thousands of years, you were barely a hatchling when we first met, I know you better than anyone and that includes your wife."
I was uncomfortable with the subject, so I asked him, "Why did it fail? It should have worked. A ritual I created, even one this dangerous and complex, shouldn't fail. I would have noticed while designing it."
"The ritual worked exactly as you expected, but you were too ambitious in attempting to preserve your trinity, your mortality. But the ritual would have succeeded had Death's taint be connected to your magic, and not your soul."
Shit. That was bad, "It ran this deep?"
"Yes, the main problem was that your mortal mind couldn't cope with a shard of a shard of a fraction of Death's power. Normally, you would have used its cosmic energy as a buffer, like a small extradimensional computer that made the calculations necessary and gave your mind the relevant information. But you removed your access to the cosmic energy when you quit your post. And when you tried to replace your magic, in an effort to contain the imprint, the cosmic energy you chose wasn't powerful enough to do its role. When Death made you into its avatar, she altered your magic to be able to handle your power and keep your trinity contained. However, when you replaced it, the new cosmic energy didn't have that modification, which also means that it didn't have that protection."
I protested, "But it didn't need to, it's still cosmic energy."
The phoenix in human form, snorted, "You're comparing the cosmic energy of a low grade celestial against the energy of one of the primordial forces of the multiverse. Of course, it wouldn't handle it. There are tiers of cosmic energy, and you completely overestimated the one you wanted to take."
I nodded, a tad defeated, "In this case, then I'm dead. Or at least, I should be. Why am I here, Erebus? What have you done?"
He shrugged unrepentantly, "You're my oldest friend, Morrigan, my partner. Do you really think that I would just let you die?"
"Death is a natural part of life, Erebus, you know that. You represent an entity of rebirth for fuck's sake. Oh!"
I just realized what just happened. Shit, this is bad, this is really bad. Erebus seemed to notice my realization, "You're getting a little slow in your old age. You're correct, I saved you. Or perhaps, the better way to say it is that I gave you another chance."
I shook my head, "Why would you do something like this? We both know what this will do to you."
He had a sad look on his face, "This was always the plan, Morrigan. We both knew that there was a surefire way to save yourself but that you wouldn't take it, you're too attached to your humanity to do it."
I knelt down, begging him, "I'll do it, I'll ascend, just don't do it. Don't sacrifice yourself for my sake."
He smiled warmly at me, "We both know that you would be miserable. You wish to have your trinity, but your human mind cannot contain Death's imprint, so I made you a partial merge. I used my essence, to act as a buffer and to strengthen the cosmic energy, like Death did for you before. But what I did was ascend you and interrupt it while my essence is still in your new core of cosmic energy. My power will be enough to act as a buffer for the cosmic energy, but I can only do so much. Every time you will use Death's powers, a part of my energy is consumed, and you get one step closer to ascending."
"You're sacrificing yourself just for more time."
He shook his head, "I am sacrificing myself to give you a choice. You will live as you wish, you will have a shard of humanity left for as long as you wish. That's the plan."
"This was never the plan. I never wanted anyone to die for me, least of all you."
He yelled back at me, "This was always the plan!" He calmed himself and continued, "We both know that Fawkes is not returning. The two of us were always connected, light and darkness, fire and shadow, yin and yang. I have stayed on Avalon to prevent the Phoenix Force Avatar from going mad with destruction. It's a beautiful land, but I'm a creature of evolution. I need to see the world, and I can't do it locked away on Avalon. I need to die for Fawkes and I to be reborn."
My eyes watered. Was he this miserable without me realizing it? "You're not talking about a small death; your own identity is going to be erased. You might reform in a few years alongside Fawkes, but it wouldn't be you, it wouldn't be my partner."
He gave me a sad nod, "Everything ends, Morrigan, you know this as much as I do."
I gave him a bitter chuckle at my words returning in my face, "I'm so sorry…"
"There's nothing to be sorry off, Morrigan. You're very special, old friend. Did you know that the day that you were born, almost every single cosmic entity tried to claim you, even the phoenix force wanted you as her avatar, and yet Death said a single word that day 'Mine' and everyone respected her choice. You could have ended up the avatar of Fate, Chaos, Desire, Delirium, or so many more, and trust me, they would have made Death look merciful in comparison. Even when you died to that awful soul curse as a baby, she saved you by splitting your soul into two, and let both of them live in different universes until they were reunited years later when one of them died. You're alive because she claimed you, Morrigan. Just, don't condemn her too much; sometimes Death cannot understand the living."
I nodded, not really understanding why he was telling me this. I had quit my role as Death's avatar, and I wasn't planning on getting in touch with her anytime soon.
He looked around and said, "It's time. I just wanted to tell you that it was an honor staying beside you all these years, being your friend, comrade, and partner. I don't regret a single thing, not a single moment or decision. Goodbye, old friend."
Before I could respond, he flew at me, turning into a shadow and enveloping me. I felt my very existence change and burn. It was agonizing, and yet I wasn't feeling pain because of what was happening to me, but because of the death of my oldest friend.
My last thoughts before I blacked out, was of my friend and the regret that I didn't say goodbye. I didn't even thank him for his sacrifice. I saw as my teardrops fell into the sand, and the astral plane shattered like glass.
Alright, this is it, we're finally caught up to the current events of the story. This means that there will be no more mass uploads. I generally post four chapters a week, on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays. I tend to be consistent (I have been for more than a year now) but I will let you know if I miss an upload day.
On the other hand, if you want to support me, check out my patréon. I tend to upload drafts of early chapters on there to get people's opinions of them so you can read up to 15 chapters ahead as a bonus.
Thank you guys for your support in these hard times.
Chapter 230: Soul
I would like to thank my beta, Akisu, for his help in this chapter.
23rd March 2012, Wakanda
(Jasmine Sayre POV)
I could feel the link between the trinity breaking. The agony I felt couldn't be described with simple words. It was like someone was killing me, splitting me to pieces on a fundamental level. I couldn't handle it, the agony. I was prepared for this to be my death. There was nothing that I could do. I wasn't the one powering the alchemical ritual, meaning that I couldn't even try to affect it in any way.
I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the inevitable. The ritual had failed as I died. I felt a comforting coolness surrounding me, reassuring me and stopping the pain. Was this death? I didn't know, but at least, I would die without any pain. I tried my best, but I guess that wasn't to be.
Was this the end of the Morrigan? Perhaps it simply was my time. Perhaps this was preferable to the identity death that could have happened to me had the ritual succeeded. My main regret was the fact that I would leave my family alone in a very troubling time. As for the multiverse, I didn't give a fuck about it. After all, I would be too dead to care.
These were my last thoughts before my mind was scattered like grains of sand.
Surprisingly, I gained awareness once more. It was odd. I was intimately familiar with the concept of Death. By definition, it's the separation between the trinity when the body fails. The mind is turned off, being completely bound to the body through the brain and the soul is released to the astral plane, to be collected and put through its afterlife until it's neutral enough to be collected into the well of souls to be reincarnated later on.
It was an elegant cycle, seemingly simple yet extremely complex in its details. But it also meant that I shouldn't be thinking right now. I shouldn't be saying these things in my head. I have no head. It didn't make any sense.
And yet it is happening. Was Death, the cosmic entity that I used to serve, planning something? Because my current coherence meant that I wasn't dead, that my mind and my soul were still connected somehow.
Yes, that was the most probable cause for my current situation, whatever that was. Oh, I just realized that my eyes were closed. Well, I'm not supposed to have eyes at all, so it's understandable that I didn't open them by reflex. I strained my imaginary muscles and the darkness lifted.
I looked around and I saw that the world around me was odd. The sky was dark, yet it had a purple glow to it. It slightly reminded me of northern lights. I took a step forward and my foot slipped on some water. I was on a beach, but the sea didn't seem to have any waves. It was perfectly still, reflecting the beautiful sky that illuminated this plane.
Wait a minute, I recognized this place, this beach. Excited, I turned around and gasped. I recognized the fine, snow white sand, the marble walls and the towers decorated with precious stones and metals. This was my home, my true home. This was Atlantis.
I spent what felt like hours admiring the details. It was the small things. My favorite food stall, the academy which was the second largest building, in both volume and height. And finally, the royal palace, my home. It was beautiful, it was nostalgic, and it wasn't real.
I knew it the moment I realized what this place was, that it wasn't real. Atlantis was destroyed. It was a fixed point in time, in every iteration of Atlantis throughout the multiverse. In every Earth filled with magic, Atlantis is built on an island, and in the end, it sinks. Sometimes it's because someone tried some forbidden magic, or angered a higher power, and sometimes it's a natural occurrence. But the truth was, that by the time that the non-magical population started learning how to write, Atlantis would be nothing more than a legend, a children's tale.
So, yes, I knew that this place wasn't real. It just couldn't be. Someone had made this place, but it had an odd feeling to it. I knelt down to feel the magic of this fake Atlantis only to gasp when I looked at my hand. It was almost transparent, and I immediately clocked where I was, "I'm in the astral plane."
The moment that I said this, I heard a small familiar cry. It soothed me and comforted me. It was Erebus. He appeared out of a shadow and made a small lap around the city. He then flew down towards me and my jaw dropped as he transformed into a human.
He looked like a middle aged Asian man in a dark suit. He had pale skin and hazel eyes that reminded me of my sister. He was a handsome man, I will admit to it, but I knew him for thousands of years and he had never taken the form of anything other than a bird.
I spluttered, "Since when could you do that?"
The man in front of me let out a chuckle, "This isn't the physical world, Morrigan. I can take any form I want, and I thought that this was the best one to be able to speak to you clearly."
"What's going on, Erebus? I should be dead. The ritual failed."
He nodded, "It failed. It was always going to fail, and in a way I think you hoped that it would."
"Do you really think that I would do this, leave my family behind, leave them to deal with Entropy by themselves?"
He shrugged, "You would be free of the responsibility, of the pain, of your life. Do not lie to me, Morrigan, I have known you for thousands of years, you were barely a hatchling when we first met, I know you better than anyone and that includes your wife."
I was uncomfortable with the subject, so I asked him, "Why did it fail? It should have worked. A ritual I created, even one this dangerous and complex, shouldn't fail. I would have noticed while designing it."
"The ritual worked exactly as you expected, but you were too ambitious in attempting to preserve your trinity, your mortality. But the ritual would have succeeded had Death's taint be connected to your magic, and not your soul."
Shit. That was bad, "It ran this deep?"
"Yes, the main problem was that your mortal mind couldn't cope with a shard of a shard of a fraction of Death's power. Normally, you would have used its cosmic energy as a buffer, like a small extradimensional computer that made the calculations necessary and gave your mind the relevant information. But you removed your access to the cosmic energy when you quit your post. And when you tried to replace your magic, in an effort to contain the imprint, the cosmic energy you chose wasn't powerful enough to do its role. When Death made you into its avatar, she altered your magic to be able to handle your power and keep your trinity contained. However, when you replaced it, the new cosmic energy didn't have that modification, which also means that it didn't have that protection."
I protested, "But it didn't need to, it's still cosmic energy."
The phoenix in human form, snorted, "You're comparing the cosmic energy of a low grade celestial against the energy of one of the primordial forces of the multiverse. Of course, it wouldn't handle it. There are tiers of cosmic energy, and you completely overestimated the one you wanted to take."
I nodded, a tad defeated, "In this case, then I'm dead. Or at least, I should be. Why am I here, Erebus? What have you done?"
He shrugged unrepentantly, "You're my oldest friend, Morrigan, my partner. Do you really think that I would just let you die?"
"Death is a natural part of life, Erebus, you know that. You represent an entity of rebirth for fuck's sake. Oh!"
I just realized what just happened. Shit, this is bad, this is really bad. Erebus seemed to notice my realization, "You're getting a little slow in your old age. You're correct, I saved you. Or perhaps, the better way to say it is that I gave you another chance."
I shook my head, "Why would you do something like this? We both know what this will do to you."
He had a sad look on his face, "This was always the plan, Morrigan. We both knew that there was a surefire way to save yourself but that you wouldn't take it, you're too attached to your humanity to do it."
I knelt down, begging him, "I'll do it, I'll ascend, just don't do it. Don't sacrifice yourself for my sake."
He smiled warmly at me, "We both know that you would be miserable. You wish to have your trinity, but your human mind cannot contain Death's imprint, so I made you a partial merge. I used my essence, to act as a buffer and to strengthen the cosmic energy, like Death did for you before. But what I did was ascend you and interrupt it while my essence is still in your new core of cosmic energy. My power will be enough to act as a buffer for the cosmic energy, but I can only do so much. Every time you will use Death's powers, a part of my energy is consumed, and you get one step closer to ascending."
"You're sacrificing yourself just for more time."
He shook his head, "I am sacrificing myself to give you a choice. You will live as you wish, you will have a shard of humanity left for as long as you wish. That's the plan."
"This was never the plan. I never wanted anyone to die for me, least of all you."
He yelled back at me, "This was always the plan!" He calmed himself and continued, "We both know that Fawkes is not returning. The two of us were always connected, light and darkness, fire and shadow, yin and yang. I have stayed on Avalon to prevent the Phoenix Force Avatar from going mad with destruction. It's a beautiful land, but I'm a creature of evolution. I need to see the world, and I can't do it locked away on Avalon. I need to die for Fawkes and I to be reborn."
My eyes watered. Was he this miserable without me realizing it? "You're not talking about a small death; your own identity is going to be erased. You might reform in a few years alongside Fawkes, but it wouldn't be you, it wouldn't be my partner."
He gave me a sad nod, "Everything ends, Morrigan, you know this as much as I do."
I gave him a bitter chuckle at my words returning in my face, "I'm so sorry…"
"There's nothing to be sorry off, Morrigan. You're very special, old friend. Did you know that the day that you were born, almost every single cosmic entity tried to claim you, even the phoenix force wanted you as her avatar, and yet Death said a single word that day 'Mine' and everyone respected her choice. You could have ended up the avatar of Fate, Chaos, Desire, Delirium, or so many more, and trust me, they would have made Death look merciful in comparison. Even when you died to that awful soul curse as a baby, she saved you by splitting your soul into two, and let both of them live in different universes until they were reunited years later when one of them died. You're alive because she claimed you, Morrigan. Just, don't condemn her too much; sometimes Death cannot understand the living."
I nodded, not really understanding why he was telling me this. I had quit my role as Death's avatar, and I wasn't planning on getting in touch with her anytime soon.
He looked around and said, "It's time. I just wanted to tell you that it was an honor staying beside you all these years, being your friend, comrade, and partner. I don't regret a single thing, not a single moment or decision. Goodbye, old friend."
Before I could respond, he flew at me, turning into a shadow and enveloping me. I felt my very existence change and burn. It was agonizing, and yet I wasn't feeling pain because of what was happening to me, but because of the death of my oldest friend.
My last thoughts before I blacked out, was of my friend and the regret that I didn't say goodbye. I didn't even thank him for his sacrifice. I saw as my teardrops fell into the sand, and the astral plane shattered like glass.
Alright, this is it, we're finally caught up to the current events of the story. This means that there will be no more mass uploads. I generally post four chapters a week, on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays. I tend to be consistent (I have been for more than a year now) but I will let you know if I miss an upload day.
On the other hand, if you want to support me, check out my patréon. I tend to upload drafts of early chapters on there to get people's opinions of them so you can read up to 15 chapters ahead as a bonus.
Thank you guys for your support in these hard times.
