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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 240

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:51:02 AM


Chapter 240

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“What is this…” Kawaki asked expressionlessly.

“Don’t play dumb,” Katsura chuckled and then patted Kawaki on the shoulder, “Do you think I didn’t notice? I didn’t expect that you would come to me for such a thing one day. But it doesn’t matter. As long as you use this formula to treat constipation, you will definitely be able to say goodbye to constipation!”

Hearing this, the corner of Kawaki’s eyes twitched, and then he shouted, “Do you think I came to you because of constipation?!”

“Isn’t it?!” Katsura was shocked, but then Katsura thought of something again. He looked at Kawaki in disbelief and said, “Is it because of hemorrhoids?”

As he spoke, Katsura once again took out a small piece of paper from his bosom and whispered into Kawaki’s ear, “But don’t worry, this secret recipe…”

Before Katsura could finish speaking, Kawaki couldn’t help but throw a punch at Katsura and said angrily, “How is that possible!”

“What an annoying guy,” Kawaki spat disdainfully, “Hey, you three, block the exit of this room for me.”

“Yes!” Kagura and Shinpachi guarded the door while Hasegawa guarded the window.

[Katsura-san, are you alright?] Elizabeth helped Katsura up and raised the wooden board at the same time.

“I’m fine,” Katsura staggered to his feet, “This level of attack doesn’t hurt me at all.”

“This person is really stubborn,” The corner of Shinpachi’s eyes twitched as he said, “It was clearly so painful that tears were coming out.”

[What are you guys trying to do?!] Elizabeth raised the wooden board toward Kawaki and the others.

“It has nothing to do with you,” Kawaki replied without hesitation, “Pet, move to the side. Otherwise… I will turn you into a charcoal-grilled penguin later.”

Looking at the ominous glint in Kawaki’s eyes, Elizabeth trembled and retreated to the corner of the wall. He then put up the wooden board with the words [shivering] written on it.

“Elizabeth!” Katsura shouted.

[I’m sorry, Katsura-san! ] Elizabeth raised his wooden board.

“Then, let us begin.” As he spoke, Kawaki rubbed his palms together and walked toward Katsura with a smile on his face.

“Wait… wait… what do you want?” Katsura panicked a little, “Wait… AH!!!”

Then, Katsura screamed like a pig being slaughtered in this ward…



“What are you guys doing here?” Uchino, who was attracted by the screams, stood at the door of the ward and looked at the people in the room in confusion.

“It has been completed.” Kawaki twisted his neck and turned to walk out of the ward, “Kagura, Shinpachi, let’s go. The mission has been completed. Leave the rest to that man.”

After that, Kawaki gently raised the corners of his mouth and directly left, hiding his merits and fame. Kagura and Shinpachi also followed.

“Um, Miss Uchino,” Hasegawa walked to the door and scratched his head in embarrassment. Then, he looked at Uchino and said with a serious expression, “Although I don’t seem to have the right to say this, Miss Uchino, you are still very young, so you must not give up so easily!”

“Hasegawa-san…” Uchino murmured.

However, just as she finished speaking, a loud explosion came from the direction where Kawaki and the others had left.

Hasegawa and Uchino subconsciously looked over, only to see the head nurse carrying a bazooka while dragging the three people (Kawaki, Kagura, Shinpachi) who had been knocked unconscious and walked over with a gloomy face.

“Head Nurse…” Uchino was just about to say something but was interrupted by the head nurse.

“I can ignore it once or twice…” The head nurse lowered her head and muttered with a dark face. Then, she raised her head and looked at Hasegawa fiercely, “This is the hospital! Why is it that you guys can’t stop causing trouble?! You guys are too noisy!”

“Wait a minute, Head Nurse. It’s not what you think. They…” Uchino hurriedly tried to stop her, but… she was still a step too late.

The head nurse picked up the bazooka and pressed the trigger without hesitation.

BOOM!!!!

After the loud noise, Hasegawa lay on the ground. It was unknown whether he was dead or alive. Uchino was stunned for a moment, and then she was attracted by Elizabeth and Katsura, who came out of the ward.

“How hateful! That guy!” Katsura said hatefully, “You have to know that my legs are not just mine alone! They are also for the entire country! That bastard!”

[Fractures of this magnitude will heal for a while, Katsura-san.] Elizabeth supported Katsura and raised the wooden board at the same time.

“Stop joking! I can wait, but the people at the bottom of Edo can’t wait!” Katsura shouted loudly, “What I shoulder is their hope! Even… even with this…”

[I believe everyone will understand, Katsura-san.] Elizabeth once again raised the wooden board and comforted.

“Elizabeth~” Katsura hugged Elizabeth and cried bitterly, “Remember to bring all the DVD sets that I didn’t have time to watch at home!”

[Understood!]



The next day.

Tsukuyo came to the hospital early morning to pick up a certain idiot that would be discharged from the hospital, but when she saw a certain idiot wrapped up like a mummy, her face couldn’t help but burst out with blue veins.

“It was only one night; what exactly did you do!” Tsukuyo pointed at Kawaki and cursed.

“Actually…” Kawaki scratched his head in embarrassment, “There is a reason.”

“It’s just…” Kawaki turned his head and looked out the window, “I just want to cheer a little girl. At least I want her to have more courage to talk.”

“Sorry, that’s my line.” Hasegawa, who was also wrapped into a mummy, interrupted.

“You’re so long-winded! It won’t matter if I borrow some of it!” Kawaki turned his head and shouted.

However, just as he finished speaking, two kunai appeared on Kawaki’s forehead.

“Just in time. Taking advantage of this hospitalization, I think it’s better to perform a craniotomy for you.” Tsukuyo stood in front of the hospital bed and looked down at Kawaki. 

(TL notes: Craniotomy is an operation in which a small hole is made in the skull or a piece of bone from the skull is removed to show part of the brain. A craniotomy may be done to remove a brain tumor or a sample of brain tissue.)

“Please do so.” Gintoki nodded and agreed, “This guy’s head has indeed reached the point of severe damage.”

“You’re alright!” Kawaki looked at the neatly dressed Gintoki and was shocked.

“I didn’t cause any trouble with you guys.” Gintoki snorted in disdain. Then, he glanced at Kagura and Shinpachi, who were also wrapped into mummies on the bed. Then, he took out a piece of paper from his bosom and handed it to Tsukuyo, “For their two medical fees as well as lost work expenses. Please transfer the money into this account.”

“Kou-sama, what’s going on?” Tsukuyo looked at Kawaki expressionlessly.

“Hahaha, actually…” Kawaki’s face was covered in a cold sweat. Then, he slowly turned his head towards the window, “I just want… to cheer a little girl…”

However, this time, Tsukuyo did not give Kawaki a chance to finish speaking. Instead, she directly raised her leg and kicked Kawaki out of the window.

“AHH!!!!” Kawaki’s scream came from outside the window. It was no wonder. After all, the floor they were on was the fifth floor…

“It’s really high. Is that guy okay?” Hasegawa stood by the window and looked at Kawaki, who had smashed a big hole in the lawn downstairs. He then asked doubtfully.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Gintoki waved his hand dismissively, “That guy is as tenacious as a cockroach. He will be fine.”

“Really?” Hasegawa still couldn’t believe it.

“Next month and the next next month, all your game funds are gone!” Tsukuyo stood at the window and said expressionlessly.

“EHHHH?!!” Kawaki’s voice sounded, “No way?!!!”

“Ah, He is really fine,” Hasegawa said.



“Not only did the hospitalization extended, but the game funds for two months were also deducted, really.” Kawaki stood at the window with a face full of despair.

“Sure enough, interfering in other people’s love is not a good thing-aru.” Kagura also stood at the window.

“Anyway, Katsura-san is finally hospitalized. Our goal has been achieved.” Shinpachi comforted, “The rest is up to Miss Uchino. There’s nothing more we can do.”

“Speaking of which, where is Gintoki?” Kawaki asked doubtfully.

“He was discharged from the hospital,” Shinpachi explained with a sigh, “Just when Kawaki-san was kicked downstairs by Miss Tsukuyo.”

“Really, it turns out that he did nothing.” Kawaki muttered disdainfully, “I’m really upset.”

“Actually, I just heard a rumor,” Hasegawa said, “It seems that Miss Uchino has already confessed, and the result seems to be a success.”

“Eh? It can’t be!” Kawaki looked at Hasegawa in shock, “Are you saying that Zura really accepted it?!”

“The other patients are all very surprised,” Hasegawa continued, “Everyone is saying that their Uchino has a boyfriend.”

“This is too unbelievable!” Kawaki felt his heartbeat slow down by half a beat, “Has that Zura really been enlightened?! This is the most shocking news I’ve heard in twenty-seven years!”

But then, Kawaki’s expression changed slightly. He sighed slightly and said, “But that girl is not bad; she actually confesses.”

“What I once gave up is now an opportunity, so of course, I have to seize it.” Hasegawa took out a cigarette from his bosom, lit it up, and gently took a puff.

“What a simple little girl,” Kawaki made a disdainful expression, “She actually obtained courage from a good-for-nothing uncle speech from a good-for-nothing uncle who knows where.”

“This sentence is too much!” Hasegawa shouted, “The word ‘good-for-nothing’ has appeared too many times!”

But just as he finished speaking, everyone could not help but laugh.

“Look at that!” Shinpachi excitedly pointed to the open space outside the window and said.

Everyone was petrified as they looked at Uchino, who was holding Elizabeth’s hand and running on the lawn with a first love-like smile on her face.

“That is…” The corners of Kawaki’s eyes twitched as he murmured.

“It is indeed a boyfriend with persistent and charming eyes who lives in a different world-aru…” Kagura replied.

Everyone, “…”




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