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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 243

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:50:56 AM


Chapter 243

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At Shimura’s house, Koudoukan.

“Leave it to me,” Otae smiled and looked at Kagura, who was opposite the table. Then she picked up a glass of Baagen-Dazs, “If you want to lose weight, I recommend this, the Baagen-Dazs diet!”

Looking at Kagura, who was a little confused on the other side of the table, Otae explained, “Ordinary food therapy to lose weight requires fasting. It’s very hard, isn’t it? But if this is the case, there is no need to work hard. You can eat while you lose weight, as long as you eat ice cream. It can form a layer of film so that the food after eating will be inhibited from being absorbed, isn’t amazing?”

“Ah, very powerful-aru…” Looking at Otae, who was three times bigger than her, Kagura reluctantly echoed.

“Right~”

‘Now I finally understand that there is no easy way to lose weight. Also, the person who comes up with this snub method will surely gain weight too.’ Kagura looked at Otae in front of him and thought in her heart.

At this time, Kawaki, who was standing on the wall of Otae’s house, said with a happy face, “Great~ I thought Kagura-chan was flushed down the toilet~ I didn’t expect it to be here.”

As he said this, Kawaki looked at Shinpachi, who was sitting on the side, “Although it’s a bit presumptuous, what is the creature sitting opposite Kagura-chan? Is it a new breed of pig?”

However, just as he finished speaking, Kawaki was smashed down by the ashtray that Otae threw out.

“That’s my sister,” Shinpachi replied expressionlessly.

“Please tell me earlier next time…” Kawaki said at the same time as he got up.

“Ara, aren’t they Kawaki-san and Gin-san?” Otae covered her face and looked at the three people in her courtyard with surprised expressions.

“Uh, hello.” Kawaki whispered into Shinpachi’s ear, “Hey, what happened to your sister? Why did she suddenly become like this?”

“Actually, I just found out…” Shinpachi said in a low voice, “Maybe she was getting fatter little by little, but I didn’t notice…”

“So that’s how it is.” Kawaki nodded.

“Hmph, the person has been found; let’s go back,” Gintoki said nonchalantly as he dug his nose.

“That voice! It’s Gin-san!” Sacchan’s surprised voice suddenly came from the ceiling above Otae’s head, “Gin-san! It’s me!”

But then, the ceiling above Otae suddenly split open, and Sacchan fell down, smashing directly onto the table.

“Another troublesome guy…” Gintoki murmured, holding his forehead.

“What is that? Is it a new breed of pigs?” Kawaki pointed at Sacchan, who was pressing the table down, “Speaking of which, your family raised pigs on the ceiling. It’s really incredible.”

“Maybe they were too hungry. Maybe they went up to the ceiling to find something to eat.” Otae explained with a smile. Then, she suddenly thought of something, “Today, Kawaki-san and Gin-san came here with great difficulty. How about I treat you to roasted pigs?”

“Who are you calling a sow?” Sacchan stood up and cursed, “Gin-san is the only one who can call me a sow! It’s Gin-san’s nickname for me!”

“There is no such setting at all! You sow!” Gintoki rolled his eyes, “By the way, you’ve really become a sow now!”

“Ah! Keep scolding me! I’m starting to get excited!” Sacchan blushed.

“It seems that the afternoon tea has been settled,” Otae said with a smile. Then he looked at Shinpachi and shouted, “Shin-chan, prepare the ingredients for roasted pig~.”

“Sister, that’s Miss Sacchan,” Shinpachi replied expressionlessly, “Although she has grown a lot bigger, she is undoubtedly Miss Sacchan.”

“Oh, really?” Otae covered her mouth and pretended to be surprised.

“What kind of attitude is that? It was obviously intentional!” Sacchan retorted, then crossed her arms and snorted lightly. She then laughed disdainfully, “Miss Otae, you are finished! Can such a body become someone Princess? Even if it is Gin-san, his arm will be broken in an instant! Don’t worry; from now on, leave Gin-san’s happiness to me!”

“By the way… Miss Sacchan, you don’t have the right to say this, do you?” Shinpachi said expressionlessly, “Please find a weight scale to weigh first.”

“I can accept it!” Kondo’s voice suddenly came from the wardrobe, “I can accept it even if Miss Otae becomes like this!”

Seeing Kondo walk out of the wardrobe, everyone was silent.

However, Kondo did not notice the subtle atmosphere around him. He continued to hold his hands and said, “It doesn’t matter! Even if Miss Otae becomes like this, I don’t mind! Even if Miss Otae breaks my arm, I don’t mind! No, not just my arm, even my whole body! This is my love for Miss Otae!”

Hearing this, Otae walked toward Kondo with a smile on her face…

Looking at Kondo, who was lying on the ground and rolling his eyes, Kawaki looked at Shinpachi with an expressionless face, “Hey, there are too many animals in your family. There are even gorillas.”

“No, that is Kondo-san.” Shinpachi replied expressionlessly.

Kawaki, “…”



“Let me make it clear first; I am different from you!” Sacchan glanced at Otae and Kagura beside her and snorted. Then she put down her hand to touch her stomach and explained with a tender face, “In this belly, it is Gin-san’s child… Oh!”

Before Sacchan could finish, he was kicked in the stomach by the smiling Otae. After this blow, Sacchan directly vomited.

Looking at the pile of mosaic that Sacchan spat out on the ground, Otae smiled and applauded, “Oh, you have given birth to a slimy child. Congratulations.”

“It’s really boring. Let’s go, let’s go.” As he spoke, Gintoki was the first to turn around and leave.

“Kagura-chan, are you not leaving?” Kawaki asked as he looked at Kagura, who had her head lowered and was thinking about something.

“No-aru!” Kagura looked up and said with a serious face, “I have already decided! I must definitely slim down! No matter what method I use, I must definitely slim down-aru!”

Hearing this, Kawaki raised the corner of his mouth and said, “Is that so? Then work hard.”

After saying that, Kawaki also turned around and left.

“I’m sorry, sister. I still have work to do today. I’ll be leaving first.” Shinpachi said to Otae and turned to leave.

“In that case, let’s work hard together! Kagura-chan!” Otae looked at Kagura with a smile and took out an advertisement.

Looking at the [Diet Dojo! Just a week, let you get back in good shape! ] advertisement, Kagura and Sacchan’s eyes lit up.

“Let’s go together, Kagura-chan.” Otae said with a smile.

“Oh! Big Sis!” Kagura answered enthusiastically.



Five days later, Yorozuya.

After a loud bang, Kawaki’s voice rang out.

“How is it? Are you back?”

Looking at the door that had turned into ruins again, Gintoki lowered his head and muttered, “I say… how many times has it been? Why can’t you just open the door and come in normally? I’m so tired…”

“This is already the twentieth time Kawaki-san has come in five days,” Shinpachi said expressionlessly, “It’s also the twentieth time our house door was blown up.”

“Shinpachi,” Gintoki raised his head to look at Shinpachi, who was facing him, and suggested, “How about we don’t install a door in the future? Anyway, as long as there is this guy, there is no meaning for our door existence…”

“That makes sense…” Shinpachi added expressionlessly.

“Aren’t the two of you worried?” Kawaki frowned and complained, “That kind of Diet Dojo or something, it sounds like that kind of underworld dojo that doesn’t even have a business license. Aren’t you worried about Kagura-chan being bullied?!”

“How is that possible?” Gintoki waved his hand dismissively, “No matter what, Kagura is not the kind of person who will be wronged.”

“That’s right, Kawaki-san.” Shinpachi also looked at Kawaki and comforted him, “Kagura-chan is not the kind of person who stays silent after being bullied. And didn’t my sister also go? I believe that my sister will take good care of her.”

“But…” Kawaki’s expression became serious, “What if it was the kind of black-hearted processing factory that gathered those women in the name of [Diet Dojo], then turned them into pork belly and served them to the dining table?!”

“Hey! Don’t say such scary things!” Gintoki scolded, “Really, I just ate some pork belly yesterday. Now that you mention it, I feel a little nauseous…”

“You too?!” Kawaki was shocked, “Actually, so am I! I don’t dare to eat braised pork these days! After seeing it, I feel like I can hear Kagura-chan’s screams.”

“What do you think your niece is…” Gintoki was a little speechless, but then he sighed and suggested, “Can’t you just sneak a look? If you are really worried.”

“But…” Kawaki’s expression became tangled.

“But?” Shinpachi was puzzled.

“So you can only be a virgin,” Gintoki looked at Shinpachi, waved his hand, and said casually, “The so-called girls also have a moment that they don’t want to let the boys see, especially losing weight. This is all secretly done. The girls only want to hear the boys praise their figures.”

“What do you mean?” Shinpachi was still puzzled.

“What a dull person,” Gintoki curled the corners of his mouth, “I mean, girls prefer to hear things like “You’re in great shape” rather than “You work so hard in losing weight!”

“Eh?! Is there such a thing?” Shinpachi was shocked.

“Of course,” Gintoki pouted, “So, it’s best if you don’t do anything. When Kagura and your sister come back, you just need to praise them. They will definitely be happy.”



Another two days later, Yorozuya.

Looking at Kagura, who was thinner than before and with lifeless eyes and looked like her body had been hollowed out, Kawaki, Gintoki, and Shinpachi were silent.

“To be honest, I really want to know what happened…” Shinpachi muttered.

“Don’t ask! Shinpachi!” Gintoki said with his hands crossed, “Don’t ask anything! Just praise!”

“A piece of potato chips… Strong laxative… slightly salty taste…” Kagura kept muttering and occasionally laughed…

“Hey! Is this situation really okay?!” Shinpachi shouted, “No matter how you look at it, it doesn’t seem right!”

“That’s enough!” Gintoki patted Shinpachi on the shoulder and shook his head.

“In order to celebrate Kagura-chan’s success in losing weight, little uncle will treat you to a barbecue!” Kawaki suggested with a smile.

“Really-aru?!” Kagura’s eyes instantly lit up.

“Hey, she’s resurrected.” Shinpachi said expressionlessly, “She just heard barbecue and was resurrected! This speed of resurrection was too fast!”

“It seems that our Kagura-chan really can’t be judged by common sense…” Gintoki curled his lips and said.

“Yeah…”

[Losing weight chapter, finished.]




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