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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 251

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:50:43 AM


Chapter 251

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“I didn’t look for it at all! You bastard!” Shinpachi suppressed the anger in his heart and said word by word, “Where did you run off to? You stupid turtle!”

“It hurts, it hurts, let go…” Kamenashi pleaded.

“How dare you repay my kindness with ill will! You were going to take us to Ryugu Palace?!” Shinpachi said persistently, still shaking Kamenashi in front of him, “It’s all your fault that we were trapped on this deserted island!”

“Shinpachi-kun, calm down.” Kyubei, who was at the side, hurriedly stepped forward and stopped him.

“Huh? What are you talking about? What deserted island?” Kamenashi asked in confusion.

“Are you still pretending at a time like this?! This is a deserted island! Bastard!” Shinpachi cursed, “How could you do this? There’s nothing here!”

“This isn’t a deserted island. This is Ryugu Palace,” Kamenashi replied.

Hearing this, Shinpachi and Kyubei were stunned for a few seconds…

“What kind of nonsense are you talking about?” Shinpachi was even more annoyed, “Do you still want to be perfunctory at this time?! If this is Ryugu Palace, then my toilet is also Ryugu Palace!”

“Calm down, Shinpachi-kun!” Kyubei stopped him again and then asked with some embarrassment, “If your toilet can be called Ryugu Palace, is it okay to say that my microwave is also Ryugu Palace? Can it?”

“Who knows! I don’t care!” Shinpachi turned and shouted.

At this time, Otae and Hasegawa were slowly walking over.

“Shin-chan, did you find anything?” Otae shouted at Shinpachi.

“Sis…” Shinpachi looked at the person who came, then raised Kamenashi in his hand and shouted at Otae, “I found something to eat. Today is turtle hot pot.”

“Really~,” Otae said with a smile.

“Wait, wait, I’m telling the truth!” Kamenashi said quickly, “This is really Ryugu Palace! I swear on kelp! No, I swear on seaweed!”

“There is no difference at all!” Shinpachi cursed, his veins popping out, and he wanted to beat up Kamenashi in front of him.

However, Kyubei, who was behind Shinpachi, spoke up at this time…

“Shinpachi-kun, Shinpachi-kun, look here.” Kyubei pointed at the door number beside the cave.

“Huh?” Shinpachi looked at the door tag that read [Ryugu Palace 3-Chome 2-5-3] and fell silent.

Kamenashi also took advantage of when Shinpachi was stunned to escape from Shinpachi’s hand. Then he patted his chest and pretended to be scared, “But it’s really great. Everyone is safe and sound. I didn’t expect everyone to wash up near my house.”

“What?! Hey, wait! What?!” Shinpachi held his head and sank into deep self-doubt.



“Ryugu Palace, is this Ryugu Palace?” Shinpachi obviously hadn’t recovered yet. He looked around in shock, “This kind of place where birds don’t shit is actually Ryugu Palace?!”

“Yes, but although it IS Ryugu Palace. But…” Kamenashi looked at everyone and explained, “…This is the very outskirts of it.”

“Nonsense!” Shinpachi shouted and then pointed to the bones in the cave, “Then how do you explain that?! How did a dead person appear in Ryugu Palace? No matter how I look at it, that was someone who got lost at sea here!”

“Oh, you’re talking about this?” As he spoke, Kamenashi walked into the cave, walked to the skeleton’s side, and then squatted down to explain to everyone, “This is actually my wife.”

“Stop bluffing us!” Shinpachi shouted, “Your wife?! Is this kind of skeleton your wife?!”

“No, no, no. She isn’t dead. She only lost a lot of energy when laying eggs, so she lost a lot of weight.” Kamenashi explained, “She even stopped moving.”

“What do you mean lost a lot of weight?! She’s a skeleton!” Shinpachi shouted again and then pointed to the countless [Save me] words carved on the ground in front of the skeleton, ” And, if she is your wife, what are those?”

“Really, you scraped the floor again.” Kamenashi looked at the skeleton before him and sighed, “I can’t do anything about you. There is still a month before the due date. I know about your suffering. I will help you out. Just lay some healthy eggs.”

“What kind of messed up information is this?” Shinpachi was a little broken, “I always feel that my head is in a mess.”

“Make sure you put your shell on when you sleep.” Kamenashi took out a purple-red turtle shell and covered his “wife” as he spoke.

“What exactly is going on…” Kyubei muttered.

“In short, this really doesn’t seem to be a deserted island,” Shinpachi replied.

“Then we can go back and return to normal life.” Hasegawa clasped his hands and analyzed.

Hearing this, everyone started to look at each other.

“Great! We can go back now!” Shinpachi was so happy that he started to dance, “I have had enough of Ryugu Palace! Although I have experienced a lot of setbacks, as long as I can go back, I will have no complaints! So, let’s quickly leave this broken place! Hey, sea turtle! Hurry up and take us out of this island! I have had enough of this kind of broken place!”

“Go back? Where?” Kamenashi slowly turned his head to look at Shinpachi with a blank expression.

“Ah? What nonsense are you saying? Of course, it’s our home…” Before Shinpachi could finish speaking, he was interrupted by Kamenashi.

“The place where we can go back no longer exists.” As he spoke, Kamenashi took out a small TV from behind and placed it in front of everyone.

The TV was broadcasting real-time news of Edo:

Hanano stood in front of the camera, holding a microphone to explain the current state of Edo: “As you can see, the countless turtle-shaped machines that suddenly appeared in the sky dropped strange boxes. The gas emitted from the boxes made the people of Edo become old people.”

Before she finished speaking, a burst of smoke directly drowned Hanano. A few seconds later, the smoke dissipated, and Hanano turned into a white-haired old lady who could not even stand stably…

“What… what exactly happened?!” Shinpachi murmured, “What happened to Edo?!”

“That’s a weapon developed in Ryugu Palace that hastens old age: Treasure Box G!” Kamenashi explained slowly.

“Ryugu Palace? Then does that mean that Ryugu Palace attacked Edo?” Shinpachi muttered and then complained, “Also, what Treasure Chest G? It’s the mysterious box “tamatebako/jeweled hand box” princess Otohime gave Urashima Taro! It’s a box that makes you grow old when you open it! Does such a thing really exist?!”

“Wait!” At this moment, Hasegawa suddenly reacted. He pointed at Kamenashi and scolded, “If this is Ryugu Palace, are you also an enemy?!”

“If I were your enemy, I wouldn’t have taken the time to bring you here,” Kamenashi said slowly to the crowd, “It’s dark at the root of seaweed..” 

[TL note: A parody of the Japanese proverb “It’s dark at the base of a lighthouse,” which means “People often know little of what is happening right under their noses.”]

“You mean “It’s dark at the base of a lighthouse”…” Shinpachi corrected him expressionlessly. Then, he suddenly thought of something and looked at Kamenashi in disbelief, “Kamenashi-san, did you bring us to this island to save us from the disaster?”

“That’s half right and half wrong,” Kamenashi, who had changed his glasses into sunglasses, turned around and looked at the crowd with a serious face, “I saw that you are brave warriors who can crush Otohime’s ambition with me, so I summoned you here!”

“Wait a minute!” Shinpachi suddenly thought of something and pointed at Kamenashi with a shocked face, “So, Kawaki-san and the others came to the island for the same reason?! Are you the one who caused Toriyama-sensei to spill the ink?!”

“No, they are not.” Kamenashi replied without hesitation, “It was just a coincidence.”

Hearing this, Shinpachi could not help but feel a little disappointed and muttered, “Sigh, I thought I would be able to find the culprit. You should know that the production team received a complaint from the Dragon Ball fans yesterday. They even asked the culprit to commit seppuku.”

“Hey, wait a minute. After hearing what you said just now, are you going to let me do seppuku instead of the production team?” Kamenashi said expressionlessly.

At this moment, everyone suddenly heard a [boom boom boom] sound from outside the cave.

Shinpachi was the first to run out to check. He saw a lot of sea turtle soldiers carrying heavy weapons that had just landed on the beach not far away.

“Hey! Kamenashi! Get out here!” The Mohawk-headed turtle, who seemed to be the leader, shouted while holding a gun, “As the captain of the brothel owner’s bodyguards, you dare to revolt against Otohime-sama. You deserve to die! We know you’re harboring Earthlings! All Earthlings are targets to be annihilated! Surrender all the Earthlings now!”

“Tsk, did they notice? Let’s go!” Kamenashi, who was secretly observing at the cave entrance, secretly spat. Then he looked at Shinpachi and the others to remind them and turned to flee to the side path.

Although Shinpachi and the others did not fully understand the current situation, they quickly followed.

At the same time, a sharp-eyed turtle saw the figures of Shinpachi and the others.

“Over there! Shoot them!” After shouting, the rest of the turtles raised their weapons and pulled the trigger without hesitation at Shinpachi and the others.

“Hey! Wait! What’s going on?” Shinpachi yelled at Kamenashi, who was leading in front of him while dodging the shells, “I’m here for the summer vacation! I’m obviously here for the summer vacation!”

“To put it bluntly! Otohime, the ruler of Ryugu Palace, plans to conquer this planet.” Kamenashi explained without looking back, “At this rate, Earth will become a planet full of only the elderly! I discovered her plan and went looking for the bravest people who could defeat Otohime and her plan! But I was forced into committing evil deeds while I searched for the right people who had pure souls and could not tolerate evil! Yes! You are those people!”




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