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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 259

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:50:29 AM


Chapter 259

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“What is that?” Gintoki asked.

“It is a vaccine!” Shinpachi replied, “It’s a bullet filled with a vaccine that neutralizes the Aging virus Otohime unleashed upon Edo. If we put this in the gun-port lid of the cannon and let it fire, everyone will return to normal!”

“Well done, Shinpachi-kun,” Kawaki smiled and praised, “So didn’t I say that there would be no problem with another three shots?”

“You are talking about something else!” Shinpachi shouted.

“Indeed,” Gintoki nodded, “It is indeed a bit difficult for a body like this to have three shots; I can barely do two.”

“You are no different from him at all!” Shinpachi shouted.

Broadcast: [Five minutes and thirty seconds until the Old Age Cannon fires!]

“We don’t have time!” Shinpachi glanced at Kawaki and Gintoki, who was running at the side, “In short, we still have to speed up!”

As they spoke, the three of them had already arrived at the bottom of the firing platform. There is still a height of nearly 100 meters from the cannon.

“What is this…” Kawaki raised his head and glanced at it, “Isn’t this too high… The stairs are extending endlessly…”

Seeing this scene, Shinpachi was also stunned.

Gintoki went to the elevator at the side and pressed the button, “It looks like they’ve stopped this elevator.”

“Could it be that we can’t reach the cannon without going up the stairs?” Shinpachi looked at the seemingly endless stairs and muttered.

Broadcast: [Five minutes until the Old Age Cannon fires!]

“There are only five minutes left!” Shinpachi made up his mind. He gritted his teeth and said, “Let’s take the stairs!”

After saying that, Shinpachi took the lead and rushed to the stairs. Gintoki and Kawaki also followed.



“Hey, what are you guys still dawdling here for?!” Otohime, who felt that things were not going well, also came to the bottom of the firing platform and shouted at the old turtle soldiers, who were still dawdling, “If they reach the cannon, it will be over!”

Looking at the old turtle soldiers who were staggering down below, Shinpachi, walking at the front with the vaccine bullet, could not help but spit. Then he looked at Gintoki and Kawaki behind him, “Gin-san, Kawaki-san, we have to speed up!”

“Shut… Shut up!” Gintoki, who was already a little unsteady on his feet, wiped the sweat off his face, “Can’t… Can’t you see that I’m climbing the stair?”

“The most annoying thing for an older person is to climb the stairs.” Kawaki, who was beside him, also panted, “Of course, there is also the limp caterpillar lying in the shorts after a hangover and the wives nagging. They are all annoying!”

“I have never heard of it!” Shinpachi shouted while rolling his eyes, “Speaking of which, it’s said that your caterpillar will become limp from the moment it gets old! It will never become a rhinoceros beetle again!”

“I see…” Kawaki’s expression became sad, “I thought there would be a chance to fight again…”

“How is this possible!” Shinpachi roared.



“What the hell are you guys doing? Too slow!” Looking at the trembling turtles in front of her, Otohime was furious.

Otohime rolled up her sleeves and rushed to Kawaki and the others, but at this moment, Otohime’s skirt was suddenly pulled, and she slipped and fell on the stairs.

“It’s you!” Otohime turned her head with bloodshot eyes and looked at Hasegawa and Kamenashi, lying on the ground and pulling her clothes.

“Hasegawa-san! Kamenashi-san!” Shinpachi shouted.

“What the hell are you doing?! Old fellas!” Hasegawa gritted his teeth and shouted, “You can’t climb up the stairs at this level?! How shameful, you pathetic old fart! Stop dawdling! Hurry up and go up! You are carrying the fate of the old men and women in the world!”

Gintoki and Kawaki looked at each other, then began climbing up with all their might.

“Shut up! You’re the one who’s old!” Gintoki gritted his teeth and shouted.

“We won’t lose against young men!” Kawaki also gritted his teeth and shouted, “Three shots in one night… No, there is no problem at all with five shots!!”

Looking at the figures of Kawaki and Gintoki, who were getting further away, Otohime finally lost her composure.

“Unhand me! Idiots!” Otohime shouted with veins popping out. At the same time, she raised her foot and kicked Kamenashi and Hasegawa to the side. She got up and began to chase after Kawaki and the others desperately.

Broadcast: [Four minutes until the Old Age Cannon fires!]

However, before Otohime could take a few steps, Kagura, who had turned into a little old lady, rode directly onto Otohime’s neck. Her legs were firmly locked around Otohime’s neck, and her hands pressed hard on Otohime’s head.

“Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn’t my breakfast ready yet?” Kagura asked aloud.

“What… What an astonishing strength… I feel like I can’t breathe…” Otohime was so stifled that her face turned red.

“Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn’t my breakfast ready yet?” Kagura asked again.

“O-Old granny!” Otohime quickly shouted, “You’ve already had breakfast.”

“Oh, really… I’m sorry then…” As she spoke, Kagura flipped over Otohime’s head and landed firmly on the ground.

Otohime, who was released by Kagura, was finally saved and took a few deep breaths.

“Finally!” Otohime was happy in her heart and turned around again to catch up with Kawaki and the others.

However, just as Otohime took a step, she was pulled by Kagura behind her, and Otohime, who lost her balance, fell to the ground again.

“Michuko-san, Michuko-san, isn’t my lunch ready yet?” Kagura asked.

“Didn’t I just say you already had breakfast?!” Otohime turned around and shouted.

“I see… I haven’t even had lunch yet… So, is breakfast ready yet?” Kagura asked, a little disappointed.

“Didn’t I tell you already?! You’ve already had breakfast!” Otohime said in a hurry.

“I see… I had breakfast and haven’t had lunch yet, which means,” Kagura asked Otohime, “Isn’t my Tandori Chicken Bourgogne-style pie ready yet?”

“What kind of meal is that?.” Otohime shouted with her teeth bared, “It sounds far too gourmet!”

However, at this moment, Otohime suddenly felt someone pulling her sleeve. She subconsciously turned around and saw the old Kyubei pulling her sleeve and speaking.

“Michuko-san, Michuko-san, do you know where my eyepatch is?”

“It’s on your left eye! Otohime shouted as she pointed at Kyubei with a bit of a breakdown.



“Michuko-san, Michuko-san…”

Otohime, who was annoyed by Kagura and Kyubei, finally could not help but scold, “So annoying! I’m not Michuko!”

However, at this moment, Otohime suddenly felt that her butt had been whipped. She subconsciously turned her head and saw an old Sogo, holding a small whip, fiercely whipping her butt.

Snapped! Snapped! Snapped!

“Ah~” Otohime gritted her teeth and groaned, ‘What’s going on with this old man? Can he still play this at this age?!’

“It’s just a female pig that can be trampled on. Just obediently lie on the ground and groan.” Sogo scolded while whipping, “Why do you have to stand up?! My whip can’t satisfy you anymore?! My S can’t satisfy you, an M female pig?! Ah?!”

“These guys…” Otohime gritted her teeth and said hatefully, “No, I must quickly catch up with those guys! I don’t have time to accompany these old men and women!”

As she spoke, Otohime broke free from Kagura and Kyubei and turned around again. However, just as she turned around…

Otohime saw the old Tsukuyo take a business card from her pocket and put it in her hand. She said, “Well… I’m… a scout from Yoshiwara. I just opened a “Backscratch” store. Are you interested in being the headliner? The job is easy, and the salary is very high.”

“What kind of shop is that?” Otohime shouted and threw the business card to the ground, “No! It’s impossible for me to serve those old men!”

Just as Otohime finished speaking, the six people(Tsukuyo, Kagura, Kyubei, Sogo, Kamenashi, and Hasegawa) all grabbed Otohime’s clothes.

“I won’t let you… take another step forward from here!” Hasegawa shouted.

“This… These guys have been planning this since the beginning!” Otohime finally reacted.

Broadcast: [Three minutes until the Old Age Cannon fires!]

Hearing the broadcast, Otohime made up her mind. She forcefully shook off the six people and quickly rushed toward Kawaki and the others. Her speed was so fast that it made people speechless.

“Gin-san! Kawaki-san! I’ll leave the rest to you!” Shinpachi threw the vaccine bullet in his hand at Kawaki and Gintoki. Then, he turned around and threw himself at Otohime.

Otohime, who was knocked down by Shinpachi, fell on the stairs again.

Broadcast: [Two minutes until the Old Age Cannon fires!]

“Yes!” Kawaki and Gintoki looked at each other and nodded. Then the two of them worked together to lift the vaccine bullet and continued to climb upwards.

Finally, the two of them arrived at the cannon.

Broadcast: [Two minutes until the Old Age Cannon fires! The countdown begins now. 60 seconds, 59 seconds…]

Kawaki and Gintoki put down the vaccine bullet.

Looking at the black hole three meters above his head, Kawaki said, “It’s that hole. Just stuff this into that hole! If we do that, our counting sticks will be revived, Gintoki!”

Just as Kawaki finished speaking, two mechanical arms suddenly fell from above, picked up the vaccine bullet, and slowly rose…

Just as the bullet was about to be sent to the launch port, the panting Otohime finally climbed up. Seeing this situation, she jumped up and hugged the vaccine bullet that was suspended in the air, shaking it a few times.

The artificial interference made the mechanical arm loosen. Otohime and the vaccine bullet fell to the ground, falling in front of Kawaki and Gintoki…




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