Chapter 107: SelfEsteem
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During important luncheons with stubborn business investors and government officials, Quaid would purposely ask Adalia to be the maid on duty who would be in charge of serving, dishing out meals and pouring out wine.
Of course, none of the them ever made any overt move on her for she was under the governor's protection. Besides, it was an unwritten rule amongst nobles that one noble doesn't try to steal another noble's household servant. Servants knew the inner workings of their employers' household, and consequently they couldn't just hop from one home to another. Most of them stayed for life.
So, with his guests distracted by their burning desires for something they could never have, Quaid dominated these meetings and at the end the day, he often ended up having his own way.
Even now, as Adalia stood in her silky white night gown, and her golden locks of hair flowing down freely over her shoulders, Xzavier understood why she was always seemed to be at the center of offensive advances from the most unsavory characters.
Her silky soft voice pulled Xzavier out of his very brief and yet elongated mesmerism.
"I couldn't sleep. I've been tossing and turning in bed thinking about what happened today…"
"Why? He apologized didn't he?"
"Don't be so naïve Xzavier!" she rasped. "Do you have any idea just how connected that family is? This is the Anjou family we are talking about! They are practically royalty!"
She stared at him sternly as she continued with her outburst;
"And guess what? You've managed to make them your public number one enemy! Do you even know what that means?!"
Xzavier watched her with one of his typical blank expressions on his face. Not daring to interrupt, not daring to counter. He knew that this outburst, (as misguided and as tactless as it seemed) was actually coming from a good place.
As if she realized that she had been a little too hard on Xzavier, she took a step back and exhaled deeply as if she wanted to calm her nerves.
"I understand your intentions were pure Xzavier, I really do. I also know that it wasn't your intention make a scene, but for heaven sakes, you need to be a little bit more conscious of your new environment. Things are very different here!"
Xzavier still didn't say a single word.
Adalia finally decided to hit the nail on the head and address her main objective for seeking out Xzavier at such an odd hour. It was also an issue she had been trying to circumvent all this while;
"I have a request to make of you…" she softened her tone and looked at him gently now.
"If you have even the littlest regard for me Xzavier, please consider my plea…"
She paused, trying to read Xzavier's mood. Checking to see if he had been riled up by her initial outbursts. As usual, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Nevertheless, undeterred by the blank look on Xzavier's face, she proceeded to make her request.
"Xzavier please, for the next few days or weeks, at least until the heat dies down a bit, I don't wasn't you to go out alone…"
A puzzled look appeared on Xzavier's face. This was a strange request indeed. Not because of anything, but because of the mere fact that Adalia had seen what he was capable of. So, for her to make this request was a little inconsistent with her character.
Guessing what Xzavier's thought pattern was looking like now, she alleviated his mental workload and proceeded to enlighten.
"Don't be fooled by his outward appearance. Eadweard might be vain, but he is also a famously vindictive person and a very sore loser. He was humiliated in front of a low class people. So, rest assured that even now, he is probably dreaming up new ways to gut you."
Xzavier was a bit disappointed. He genuinely thought she would say something like Eadweard had a dragon, or at least some cosmic sized power or weaponry that could potentially match his 'custom black fitting suit.' If this was what she was worried about, Xzavier had already made up his mind not to take her request or warning into consideration.
Right now, he wasn't afraid or any challenge. In fact, even though he would purposely go looking to quarrel, the fact was Xzavier was actually itching for a fight! He couldn't wait to test out his new high tech gear. Any fool would be unfortunate enough to try him would surely meet a very surprising end. Xzavier just wasn't afraid of any challenge. He couldn't see himself losing. It wasn't pride or anything. But with the ability to jump several feet in the air, and with the ability to pulverize stone and iron with a single blow, it was just impractical to think that he could lose.
He looked at Adalia who was staring at him pleadingly with those big blue eyes sitting on a valley of worry lines on her face. And almost immediately, he began to understand why Adalia was so uptight about this. Deep down, she felt like this was all her fault. She felt like if he hadn't defended her honor, all of this might not have happened.
Xzavier sighed. He wished he could let her know that it wasn't her fault she had been groped in that manner. Even if he got her to listen, there was no chance that she would internalize his words. This was what years and years of conditioning had done to her. Also, another appalling fact was that it wasn't just her, it was virtually the same mindset of just about ninety-nine percent of the female population.
Of course, Xzavier wasn't going to heed to her warning. But there was no need for her to know that. She wouldn't understand him. Instead, she would probably interpret his reaction as him being overly confident in himself and, of course, there was every likelihood that he would accuse her of not being cognizant of her feelings, or of not taking into account her own valid concerns. Either way, it wasn't going to work out well for him.
So, he simply reassured her to her mind at ease.
"Okay. I will do as you have asked."
"Thank you."
That could have ended that particular issue there and then. But Adalia clearly had something else on her mind. After receiving Xzavier's assurance, she pressed onwards with the second item on her list.
"Well, while we are still on the topic, you know, you really didn't have to defend me today."
Knowing exactly where she was going with this, Xzavier watched her keenly as if she was walking on egg shells.
"Yes! If you had let it go, things would definitely have been put to rest."
Seething with anger, Xzavier fought to stay calm as Adalia continued down a very familiar path Tacy had often towed in the past.
Finally, Adalia said the words that Xzavier absolutely hated to hear;
"I don't care what happens to me! You think this is the first time someone has tried to be funny with me? I am used to it already! It's just the way things are!"
Like the destruction of a dam holding back the full flow of the force of a river, Xzavier exploded.
"What sort of talk is that?! How can you open your mouth to spew such an unintelligent thing?"
Xzavier was truly enraged now. Adalia could see it. He pressed on in annoyance.
"I can tolerate any humiliation, but I can't stand someone who doesn't value their worth as a human and think that they deserve to be inferior!!
Xzavier was practically yelling now.
"Where is your honor?!"
"Where is your sense of worth?! What's the point in living if you believe you were born to exist as an inferior creature?! Tell me!"
Livid with fury, Xzavier's voice tore through Adalia like bits and pieces of glass, shredding her insides and clawing at her insecurities. Without even trying to, Xzavier had systematically taken hot, stinging jabs at her self esteem. His roaring voice and philosophical expressions further backed his righteous anger.
Adalia was a mess. For one, she he never heard Xzavier raise his voice before. His chillingly placid nature which had drawn her in had never faltered during the relatively short period she had known him, not even for a moment had Xzavier ever lost his cool. Even in battle, he was always in control. So, seeing him roar uncontrollably like a lion was a first. Worse still, she was the one on the receiving end of his rage this time. This was something she had never thought possible.
It has often been said in times of old that there was no nakedness like psychological nakedness. Xzavier didn't even realize it, but he had been an unwilling test subject that proved the validity of this supposition.
Adalia was shocked to the bone. In that moment, she understood what it felt like for once to be Xzavier's enemy.
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During important luncheons with stubborn business investors and government officials, Quaid would purposely ask Adalia to be the maid on duty who would be in charge of serving, dishing out meals and pouring out wine.
Of course, none of the them ever made any overt move on her for she was under the governor's protection. Besides, it was an unwritten rule amongst nobles that one noble doesn't try to steal another noble's household servant. Servants knew the inner workings of their employers' household, and consequently they couldn't just hop from one home to another. Most of them stayed for life.
So, with his guests distracted by their burning desires for something they could never have, Quaid dominated these meetings and at the end the day, he often ended up having his own way.
Even now, as Adalia stood in her silky white night gown, and her golden locks of hair flowing down freely over her shoulders, Xzavier understood why she was always seemed to be at the center of offensive advances from the most unsavory characters.
Her silky soft voice pulled Xzavier out of his very brief and yet elongated mesmerism.
"I couldn't sleep. I've been tossing and turning in bed thinking about what happened today…"
"Why? He apologized didn't he?"
"Don't be so naïve Xzavier!" she rasped. "Do you have any idea just how connected that family is? This is the Anjou family we are talking about! They are practically royalty!"
She stared at him sternly as she continued with her outburst;
"And guess what? You've managed to make them your public number one enemy! Do you even know what that means?!"
Xzavier watched her with one of his typical blank expressions on his face. Not daring to interrupt, not daring to counter. He knew that this outburst, (as misguided and as tactless as it seemed) was actually coming from a good place.
As if she realized that she had been a little too hard on Xzavier, she took a step back and exhaled deeply as if she wanted to calm her nerves.
"I understand your intentions were pure Xzavier, I really do. I also know that it wasn't your intention make a scene, but for heaven sakes, you need to be a little bit more conscious of your new environment. Things are very different here!"
Xzavier still didn't say a single word.
Adalia finally decided to hit the nail on the head and address her main objective for seeking out Xzavier at such an odd hour. It was also an issue she had been trying to circumvent all this while;
"I have a request to make of you…" she softened her tone and looked at him gently now.
"If you have even the littlest regard for me Xzavier, please consider my plea…"
She paused, trying to read Xzavier's mood. Checking to see if he had been riled up by her initial outbursts. As usual, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Nevertheless, undeterred by the blank look on Xzavier's face, she proceeded to make her request.
"Xzavier please, for the next few days or weeks, at least until the heat dies down a bit, I don't wasn't you to go out alone…"
A puzzled look appeared on Xzavier's face. This was a strange request indeed. Not because of anything, but because of the mere fact that Adalia had seen what he was capable of. So, for her to make this request was a little inconsistent with her character.
Guessing what Xzavier's thought pattern was looking like now, she alleviated his mental workload and proceeded to enlighten.
"Don't be fooled by his outward appearance. Eadweard might be vain, but he is also a famously vindictive person and a very sore loser. He was humiliated in front of a low class people. So, rest assured that even now, he is probably dreaming up new ways to gut you."
Xzavier was a bit disappointed. He genuinely thought she would say something like Eadweard had a dragon, or at least some cosmic sized power or weaponry that could potentially match his 'custom black fitting suit.' If this was what she was worried about, Xzavier had already made up his mind not to take her request or warning into consideration.
Right now, he wasn't afraid or any challenge. In fact, even though he would purposely go looking to quarrel, the fact was Xzavier was actually itching for a fight! He couldn't wait to test out his new high tech gear. Any fool would be unfortunate enough to try him would surely meet a very surprising end. Xzavier just wasn't afraid of any challenge. He couldn't see himself losing. It wasn't pride or anything. But with the ability to jump several feet in the air, and with the ability to pulverize stone and iron with a single blow, it was just impractical to think that he could lose.
He looked at Adalia who was staring at him pleadingly with those big blue eyes sitting on a valley of worry lines on her face. And almost immediately, he began to understand why Adalia was so uptight about this. Deep down, she felt like this was all her fault. She felt like if he hadn't defended her honor, all of this might not have happened.
Xzavier sighed. He wished he could let her know that it wasn't her fault she had been groped in that manner. Even if he got her to listen, there was no chance that she would internalize his words. This was what years and years of conditioning had done to her. Also, another appalling fact was that it wasn't just her, it was virtually the same mindset of just about ninety-nine percent of the female population.
Of course, Xzavier wasn't going to heed to her warning. But there was no need for her to know that. She wouldn't understand him. Instead, she would probably interpret his reaction as him being overly confident in himself and, of course, there was every likelihood that he would accuse her of not being cognizant of her feelings, or of not taking into account her own valid concerns. Either way, it wasn't going to work out well for him.
So, he simply reassured her to her mind at ease.
"Okay. I will do as you have asked."
"Thank you."
That could have ended that particular issue there and then. But Adalia clearly had something else on her mind. After receiving Xzavier's assurance, she pressed onwards with the second item on her list.
"Well, while we are still on the topic, you know, you really didn't have to defend me today."
Knowing exactly where she was going with this, Xzavier watched her keenly as if she was walking on egg shells.
"Yes! If you had let it go, things would definitely have been put to rest."
Seething with anger, Xzavier fought to stay calm as Adalia continued down a very familiar path Tacy had often towed in the past.
Finally, Adalia said the words that Xzavier absolutely hated to hear;
"I don't care what happens to me! You think this is the first time someone has tried to be funny with me? I am used to it already! It's just the way things are!"
Like the destruction of a dam holding back the full flow of the force of a river, Xzavier exploded.
"What sort of talk is that?! How can you open your mouth to spew such an unintelligent thing?"
Xzavier was truly enraged now. Adalia could see it. He pressed on in annoyance.
"I can tolerate any humiliation, but I can't stand someone who doesn't value their worth as a human and think that they deserve to be inferior!!
Xzavier was practically yelling now.
"Where is your honor?!"
"Where is your sense of worth?! What's the point in living if you believe you were born to exist as an inferior creature?! Tell me!"
Livid with fury, Xzavier's voice tore through Adalia like bits and pieces of glass, shredding her insides and clawing at her insecurities. Without even trying to, Xzavier had systematically taken hot, stinging jabs at her self esteem. His roaring voice and philosophical expressions further backed his righteous anger.
Adalia was a mess. For one, she he never heard Xzavier raise his voice before. His chillingly placid nature which had drawn her in had never faltered during the relatively short period she had known him, not even for a moment had Xzavier ever lost his cool. Even in battle, he was always in control. So, seeing him roar uncontrollably like a lion was a first. Worse still, she was the one on the receiving end of his rage this time. This was something she had never thought possible.
It has often been said in times of old that there was no nakedness like psychological nakedness. Xzavier didn't even realize it, but he had been an unwilling test subject that proved the validity of this supposition.
Adalia was shocked to the bone. In that moment, she understood what it felt like for once to be Xzavier's enemy.
During important luncheons with stubborn business investors and government officials, Quaid would purposely ask Adalia to be the maid on duty who would be in charge of serving, dishing out meals and pouring out wine.Of course, none of the them ever made any overt move on her for she was under the governor's protection. Besides, it was an unwritten rule amongst nobles that one noble doesn't try to steal another noble's household servant. Servants knew the inner workings of their employers' household, and consequently they couldn't just hop from one home to another. Most of them stayed for life.So, with his guests distracted by their burning desires for something they could never have, Quaid dominated these meetings and at the end the day, he often ended up having his own way.Even now, as Adalia stood in her silky white night gown, and her golden locks of hair flowing down freely over her shoulders, Xzavier understood why she was always seemed to be at the center of offensive advances from the most unsavory characters.Her silky soft voice pulled Xzavier out of his very brief and yet elongated mesmerism."I couldn't sleep. I've been tossing and turning in bed thinking about what happened today""Why? He apologized didn't he?""Don't be so nave Xzavier!" she rasped. "Do you have any idea just how connected that family is? This is the Anjou family we are talking about! They are practically royalty!"She stared at him sternly as she continued with her outburst;"And guess what? You've managed to make them your public number one enemy! Do you even know what that means?!"Xzavier watched her with one of his typical blank expressions on his face. Not daring to interrupt, not daring to counter. He knew that this outburst, as misguided and as tactless as it seemed was actually coming from a good place.As if she realized that she had been a little too hard on Xzavier, she took a step back and exhaled deeply as if she wanted to calm her nerves."I understand your intentions were pure Xzavier, I really do. I also know that it wasn't your intention make a scene, but for heaven sakes, you need to be a little bit more conscious of your new environment. Things are very different here!"Xzavier still didn't say a single word.Adalia finally decided to hit the nail on the head and address her main objective for seeking out Xzavier at such an odd hour. It was also an issue she had been trying to circumvent all this while;"I have a request to make of you" she softened her tone and looked at him gently now."If you have even the littlest regard for me Xzavier, please consider my plea"She paused, trying to read Xzavier's mood. Checking to see if he had been riled up by her initial outbursts. As usual, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Nevertheless, undeterred by the blank look on Xzavier's face, she proceeded to make her request."Xzavier please, for the next few days or weeks, at least until the heat dies down a bit, I don't wasn't you to go out alone"A puzzled look appeared on Xzavier's face. This was a strange request indeed. Not because of anything, but because of the mere fact that Adalia had seen what he was capable of. So, for her to make this request was a little inconsistent with her character.Guessing what Xzavier's thought pattern was looking like now, she alleviated his mental workload and proceeded to enlighten."Don't be fooled by his outward appearance. Eadweard might be vain, but he is also a famously vindictive person and a very sore loser. He was humiliated in front of a low class people. So, rest assured that even now, he is probably dreaming up new ways to gut you."Xzavier was a bit disappointed. He genuinely thought she would say something like Eadweard had a dragon, or at least some cosmic sized power or weaponry that could potentially match his 'custom black fitting suit.' If this was what she was worried about, Xzavier had already made up his mind not to take her request or warning into consideration.Right now, he wasn't afraid or any challenge. In fact, even though he would purposely go looking to quarrel, the fact was Xzavier was actually itching for a fight! He couldn't wait to test out his new high tech gear. Any fool would be unfortunate enough to try him would surely meet a very surprising end. Xzavier just wasn't afraid of any challenge. He couldn't see himself losing. It wasn't pride or anything. But with the ability to jump several feet in the air, and with the ability to pulverize stone and iron with a single blow, it was just impractical to think that he could lose.He looked at Adalia who was staring at him pleadingly with those big blue eyes sitting on a valley of worry lines on her face. And almost immediately, he began to understand why Adalia was so uptight about this. Deep down, she felt like this was all her fault. She felt like if he hadn't defended her honor, all of this might not have happened.Xzavier sighed. He wished he could let her know that it wasn't her fault she had been groped in that manner. Even if he got her to listen, there was no chance that she would internalize his words. This was what years and years of conditioning had done to her. Also, another appalling fact was that it wasn't just her, it was virtually the same mindset of just about ninety-nine percent of the female population.Of course, Xzavier wasn't going to heed to her warning. But there was no need for her to know that. She wouldn't understand him. Instead, she would probably interpret his reaction as him being overly confident in himself and, of course, there was every likelihood that he would accuse her of not being cognizant of her feelings, or of not taking into account her own valid concerns. Either way, it wasn't going to work out well for him.So, he simply reassured her to her mind at ease."Okay. I will do as you have asked.""Thank you."That could have ended that particular issue there and then. But Adalia clearly had something else on her mind. After receiving Xzavier's assurance, she pressed onwards with the second item on her list."Well, while we are still on the topic, you know, you really didn't have to defend me today."Knowing exactly where she was going with this, Xzavier watched her keenly as if she was walking on egg shells."Yes! If you had let it go, things would definitely have been put to rest."Seething with anger, Xzavier fought to stay calm as Adalia continued down a very familiar path Tacy had often towed in the past.Finally, Adalia said the words that Xzavier absolutely hated to hear;"I don't care what happens to me! You think this is the first time someone has tried to be funny with me? I am used to it already! It's just the way things are!"Like the destruction of a dam holding back the full flow of the force of a river, Xzavier exploded."What sort of talk is that?! How can you open your mouth to spew such an unintelligent thing?"Xzavier was truly enraged now. Adalia could see it. He pressed on in annoyance."I can tolerate any humiliation, but I can't stand someone who doesn't value their worth as a human and think that they deserve to be inferior!!Xzavier was practically yelling now."Where is your honor?!""Where is your sense of worth?! What's the point in living if you believe you were born to exist as an inferior creature?! Tell me!"Livid with fury, Xzavier's voice tore through Adalia like bits and pieces of glass, shredding her insides and clawing at her insecurities. Without even trying to, Xzavier had systematically taken hot, stinging jabs at her self esteem. His roaring voice and philosophical expressions further backed his righteous anger.Adalia was a mess. For one, she he never heard Xzavier raise his voice before. His chillingly placid nature which had drawn her in had never faltered during the relatively short period she had known him, not even for a moment had Xzavier ever lost his cool. Even in battle, he was always in control. So, seeing him roar uncontrollably like a lion was a first. Worse still, she was the one on the receiving end of his rage this time. This was something she had never thought possible.It has often been said in times of old that there was no nakedness like psychological nakedness. Xzavier didn't even realize it, but he had been an unwilling test subject that proved the validity of this supposition.Adalia was shocked to the bone. In that moment, she understood what it felt like for once to be Xzavier's enemy.
