Chapter 282 - The Cursed Cavalier and the Lovely Lich
“I’m tired.”
Claire flopped onto the desk as a satisfied customer walked out the door. It had almost been a month since the shop had opened. Business was booming, and there was always someone stopping by for either a last-minute potion run or a quick meal on the go. But while the new hires drew the most attention, it was not they that were burdened with the majority of the work.
“We need a better way of confirming when things are done,” muttered the lyrkress. “I’m tired of flying back and forth every single time anything needs to be checked.” Naturally, it was not every request that demanded the lyrkress’ attention. Those that were particularly high profile would be dealt with via contracts—Flitzgarde’s magic would see to their fulfilment and provide immediate updates for completion or violation.
Lower profile tasks demanded much less enforcement; they were handled primarily through the provision of physical evidence when possible and the client’s signature or testimony when it was not. Of course, such an approach was not applicable to every scenario, hence the need to occasionally evaluate the results in person.
“Oh, come on! It’s not that bad,” said Sylvia.
“You shut up. You’re half the problem.” The lyrkress pinched the mascot’s cheeks. “I wouldn’t have to work so much if you didn’t spend ten hours napping every single day.” She slowly shifted her glare to the catgirl at the counter. “We need more staff.”
“I know,” said Lia, with an awkward smile. “I’ve been trying to find someone, but it hasn’t been going so well.”
“Because you’re setting the bar too high,” grumbled the lyrkress. “We just need more people to deal with all the negotiating and paperwork.”
“That’s half the problem,” said the cat, with a shake of the head. “You know how Ciel is still trying to restaff? The government has been snatching up anyone with half a mind for documentation.”
“Of course it’s the stupid squid’s fault.” Grumbling aloud, Claire grabbed her stress fox and gave her a squeeze. “What about chicken?”
“Last I checked, she was muttering to herself over a bubbling cauldron,” said Lia.
“And the lion?”
“He’s out on another grocery run. We ran out of ingredients early again.”
“He’d be useless anyway.” Squeezing the not-so-stuffed animal again, Claire slowly turned her eyes to the stack of papers seated on her half of the desk. Each document in the pile was a request to be analyzed and filtered; only decent work that checked all the boxes would be put up on the bulletin. Those for non-adventurers would be shipped off to the job board at the end of the day, while anything that lacked detail or otherwise failed to meet the requirements would be mailed back to its requestor. And much to Claire’s dismay, most of the listings offered fell into the second and third categories. Of every ten submitted, only three or four would be posted, with another two or three eventually making it onto the board post revision.
In most cases, it was the monetary value of services rendered that was the cause for contention; the shop negotiated on the adventurers’ behalf and demanded specific minimum payouts that scaled with the amount of work and risk involved. The reception among task-givers was mixed. Some complained that their efforts made it difficult to hire orphans and urchins for cheap, while others were glad to discover that they had been previously overpaying and could easily save on expenses by offering a lower rate.
“Why are we so busy?” muttered Claire.
“It’s a good thing,” said Lia, with a soft smile.
“For you, maybe.” The lyrkress placed her squeeze toy on the other girl’s head. “I’ve had enough of running errands.”
The cat lightly tapped the back of her quill against the tip of her nose. “I guess we have been going at it nonstop for a while now. It’d probably be good to take a break.” She flipped through her notebook and double-checked a few numbers. “Last time she visited, Ciel mentioned that we would be able to borrow a few of her staff members if it ever came down to it. They’re not quite good enough to sort through requests, but they should at least be able to man the desk and ledger.” She nodded to herself as she scribbled and circled. “We should be good to take some time at the end of the week if we spend the next few days working just a little bit harder than usual.”
“I’m not doing it,” said Claire. “I’ve had enough. I don’t want any more work.” She cast the cat a resentful gaze. “I can’t believe I let you rope me into this in the first place. I’d much rather be killing things.”
“We can go somewhere with monsters if that’ll make you feel better,” suggested the cat.
Claire paused for a moment before slowly shaking her head. “I’d rather not. Levelling up just sounds like more unnecessary work.” The experience was certainly tempting; it had almost been a month since the last kill was added to her logs, but she was far from sitting at a standstill. Her true form had entered a growth spurt of sorts; it was gaining a few meters each week, with her talons and teeth elongating to match.
Her skills were also making a fair bit of progress. Even without any murder to boost her experience, she was gaining a skill level or two once every few days. Most came from weapon mastery, and perhaps because she relied so heavily on death’s dance, her essencethief class was also chugging along.
“If you’re okay with somewhere normal, then that’s even better,” said Lia. “Now the only question is where.”
“We can try asking Stella,” said Sylvia.
“Ask me about what?” The doctor emerged from her den with a cart full of fresh potions in hand. She was looking as tired as usual; her eyes were baggy and lifeless, and her hair was a ragged mess, though that was almost a given with the scorching heat of her atelier. Sylvia had offered a window, but the siren had rejected it on the grounds that an increase in ventilation would only interfere with the potion-making process.
“Oh! Hey Stella, perfect timing!” said the fox. “We were thinking of going on a company vacation thingy but we weren’t really sure where. Do you have any ideas?”
The former vet paused for a moment to fiddle with one of her jars, lightly swishing it in her hands as she watched the fluid jiggle. “Depends. Is this supposed to be a day trip?”
“I was thinking that we could take a few days off, but not too many,” said Lia. “The temps can only hold down the fort for so long.”
“In that case, it’d be best for us to stay local. Normally, I’d suggest one of the resorts, but Garm’s bound to be sick of them.”
“Huh?” Sylvia tilted her head. “Why would he be sick of ‘em?”
“He used to run one,” said the siren. “It was a bit of a pet project, but he gave up on it and sold it off to the Penhorns a few years back.”
“I guess that crosses that off the list then,” said Lia. “I'd like it to be something we can all enjoy.”
The doctor leaned back against the potion stand and scrunched up her brow. “If that's all you want, we could just all take some of this and call it a day.” She produced a small vial from her shirt and tossed it across the room. The clear liquid swished around inside the container, but its cork kept it tightly contained.
A quick inspection of the label, written by an incredibly messy hand, revealed that it was a bottle of instant ecstasy. Neither Claire nor Sylvia were familiar with the substance or its properties, but the cat flushed immediately. Her face piping hot, she carefully set the vial down on the desk and pushed it back towards the doctor.
“W-why do you even have that?” she asked, as she adjusted her glasses in a fluster.
“It's more or less a byproduct of making health potions,” said the doctor, with a shrug. “You can keep it if you want.”
“I-I'll have to pass, thank you,” said the blushing catgirl.
“Your loss,” said the doctor. She lifted the vial off the table and placed it back in her robe.
“What even is it?” asked Sylvia. Her eyes glowed in a faint green as she inspected it, but her head remained tilted. “I know its got a whole lotta magic, but I can't really tell what it does.”
“It’s a pretty simple concoction,” said Estelle. “Throw the scum off a layer of potions into a pot, add a couple mistroses, a chunk of bull shark milt, and a few more catalysts. Heat that for a few hours, and this is what you get.”
“Uhhh… I dunno what that means,” said the fox.
The doctor tucked her hands into her pockets with a grin. “It’s a love potion, and a real strong one.”
“Huh?” Sylvia blinked. Thrice. “Does that mean whoever drinks it is gonna fall in love with someone or something?”
The doctor laughed. “The only love potions that work like that are the ones you’ll hear about in songs. This does something… a little more realistic.”
“Uhhh… can you just get to the point? I’m still lost,” said the oversized squirrel.
“I-it’s an aphrodisiac,” said the cat, in a whisper.
“Exactly,” said the doctor. “Just one sip and you’ll be quivering for hours.”
“Ohhhhhh… now I get it,” said Sylvia. “It’s kinda like the stuff Al has sitting around the library. I wonder why he had so much of it… I’m pretty sure some of his spells have the same effect.”
“The more important question is why the stupid cat knows about it,” said Claire, as she turned a skeptical stare upon the party’s resident feline. “What do you have to say in your defense, Pervert?”
“I-I’m not a pervert, Claire!” cried Natalya. “I-it’s just that my master liked to collect them, so I just ended up learning about them.”
“I thought you said he didn’t molest you,” muttered the lyrkress.
“He didn’t, I swear! I-It’s just that my sister and I ended up sharing one once because we wanted to know what they were fo-wait! What am I saying!? Why did I just tell you that!?” She buried her face in a pile of papers as her blush crept down to her neck.
“I knew you were a pervert,” muttered Claire. “What kind of freak fools around with her own sister?”
“I-I-I don’t know what you're imagining, but w-w-we didn't do anything like that!” shouted the cat. “A-anyway, we're getting off-topic. W-we were supposed to be pitching ideas for the vacation.”
“Mmmnnnnn... oh, I know! We could go to the new colosseum thingy that the one weird horse guy set up!” suggested Sylvia.
The temporary arena made of snow had been replaced with a massive limestone construct. Almost three-quarters the size of the Valencian colosseum, it had several configurable waterways running through the arena for fighters of a more aquatic make. The thirty-meter-wide pipes, which were enchanted to withstand thousands of times the amount of force that their otherwise glass bodies could typically endure, ran all the way up the sides of the building, leaking into an amorphous, watery blob that floated well above the arena. The pool intertwined its way through the airspace, doubling as an obstacle for those that relied on their wings.
In the time since the Cadrian's takeover, the battleground had gone from a desolate gambling den to a well-known attraction. The man's strategy certainly played a key role; he had hired the best Vel'khanese warriors he could find and transformed them into symbols of the city's power. By bringing in fighters from other townships and countries, he could easily deliver a narrative that stirred up the locals’ pride and readily bought their interest.
“I’d rather not,” said Lia. “I’m not really a fan of that kind of stuff.”
“Huh? Didn’t you totally join in last time? I remember you fighting like a whole bunch of people.”
“T-that was just because there was money involved,” said the cat. “Didn’t you see how lucrative the prizes were?”
“Great, this again.” Claire breathed a sigh as she rested her chin on top of a stack of papers. “This is why everyone thinks you’re a pervert.”
“First of all, I’m not a pervert. And secondly, I don’t see how those two things are even remotely related,” huffed the catgirl.
“You were literally rolling around in a pile of gold in your room last night,” said Claire.
Lia’s face, which had only just returned to its usual shade, was once again made as red as a tomato. “Y-you saw that?”
“We both did!” said Sylvia. “And I guess technically Ciel kinda did too because I made her dream about it.”
“You did what!?”
“I’d hate to interrupt, but I have to head back to the atelier before the next cauldron is ready.” The siren placed a piece of paper between the three receptionists. “Here’s a list of everything I could think of.”
“Thanks,” said Lia.
The doctor replied with a halfhearted, lazy wave as she returned to her lab, leaving the trio to crowd and contemplate her list.
“Mmnnnnn, some of these places actually look kinda fun,” said Sylvia, as she pawed through the options. “The aquarium sounds really tasty, but I think the zoo would probably be more fun.”
“Stupid fox.” Claire scratched vixen's brow. “Aquariums are for looking. Not eating.”
“Yeah, I know!” she said, with a huff. “That’s why I said it wasn’t gonna be fun. It’s basically a huge tease unless we go to some super fancy seafood restaurant later.”
“We could go see a play,” said Claire. “Or maybe an opera.”
“I don’t know,” said Lia. “That seems a little too stiff for a casual break. I don’t think we’d be able to spend more than just a few hours at the theatre without getting bored.” She traced her finger down the page, lightly tapping it as she considered the options. “This is a lot harder than I thought it’d be. It’d probably be easier if any of us had something we’ve always wanted to do.”
“Yeah, I mean I’ve always wanted to explore ‘n stuff, but I dunno where we’d even start,” said the fox.
“There is something,” said Claire, quietly, “that I’ve always wanted to do.” She grabbed a book from under the desk and opened it to a map of the region. “The Ryllian Sea is supposed to have all the best chefs in the world,” she said, as she traced a finger from city to city. “We could go around trying all the best restaurants.”
“So like a food tour?” said Lia. “That could work, but it’d probably need a bit more planning. I doubt we’ll be able to get any reservations unless we call a few months ahead.”
Claire shook her head. “Not a problem.” She directed her eyes out the door and stared at the city’s most prominent landmark. “We just need to kidnap the stupid squid.”
Chapter 282 - The Cursed Cavalier and the Lovely Lich
“I’m tired.”
Claire flopped onto the desk as a satisfied customer walked out the door. It had almost been a month since the shop had opened. Business was booming, and there was always someone stopping by for either a last-minute potion run or a quick meal on the go. But while the new hires drew the most attention, it was not they that were burdened with the majority of the work.
“We need a better way of confirming when things are done,” muttered the lyrkress. “I’m tired of flying back and forth every single time anything needs to be checked.” Naturally, it was not every request that demanded the lyrkress’ attention. Those that were particularly high profile would be dealt with via contracts—Flitzgarde’s magic would see to their fulfilment and provide immediate updates for completion or violation.
Lower profile tasks demanded much less enforcement; they were handled primarily through the provision of physical evidence when possible and the client’s signature or testimony when it was not. Of course, such an approach was not applicable to every scenario, hence the need to occasionally evaluate the results in person.
“Oh, come on! It’s not that bad,” said Sylvia.
“You shut up. You’re half the problem.” The lyrkress pinched the mascot’s cheeks. “I wouldn’t have to work so much if you didn’t spend ten hours napping every single day.” She slowly shifted her glare to the catgirl at the counter. “We need more staff.”
“I know,” said Lia, with an awkward smile. “I’ve been trying to find someone, but it hasn’t been going so well.”
“Because you’re setting the bar too high,” grumbled the lyrkress. “We just need more people to deal with all the negotiating and paperwork.”
“That’s half the problem,” said the cat, with a shake of the head. “You know how Ciel is still trying to restaff? The government has been snatching up anyone with half a mind for documentation.”
“Of course it’s the stupid squid’s fault.” Grumbling aloud, Claire grabbed her stress fox and gave her a squeeze. “What about chicken?”
“Last I checked, she was muttering to herself over a bubbling cauldron,” said Lia.
“And the lion?”
“He’s out on another grocery run. We ran out of ingredients early again.”
“He’d be useless anyway.” Squeezing the not-so-stuffed animal again, Claire slowly turned her eyes to the stack of papers seated on her half of the desk. Each document in the pile was a request to be analyzed and filtered; only decent work that checked all the boxes would be put up on the bulletin. Those for non-adventurers would be shipped off to the job board at the end of the day, while anything that lacked detail or otherwise failed to meet the requirements would be mailed back to its requestor. And much to Claire’s dismay, most of the listings offered fell into the second and third categories. Of every ten submitted, only three or four would be posted, with another two or three eventually making it onto the board post revision.
In most cases, it was the monetary value of services rendered that was the cause for contention; the shop negotiated on the adventurers’ behalf and demanded specific minimum payouts that scaled with the amount of work and risk involved. The reception among task-givers was mixed. Some complained that their efforts made it difficult to hire orphans and urchins for cheap, while others were glad to discover that they had been previously overpaying and could easily save on expenses by offering a lower rate.
“Why are we so busy?” muttered Claire.
“It’s a good thing,” said Lia, with a soft smile.
“For you, maybe.” The lyrkress placed her squeeze toy on the other girl’s head. “I’ve had enough of running errands.”
The cat lightly tapped the back of her quill against the tip of her nose. “I guess we have been going at it nonstop for a while now. It’d probably be good to take a break.” She flipped through her notebook and double-checked a few numbers. “Last time she visited, Ciel mentioned that we would be able to borrow a few of her staff members if it ever came down to it. They’re not quite good enough to sort through requests, but they should at least be able to man the desk and ledger.” She nodded to herself as she scribbled and circled. “We should be good to take some time at the end of the week if we spend the next few days working just a little bit harder than usual.”
“I’m not doing it,” said Claire. “I’ve had enough. I don’t want any more work.” She cast the cat a resentful gaze. “I can’t believe I let you rope me into this in the first place. I’d much rather be killing things.”
“We can go somewhere with monsters if that’ll make you feel better,” suggested the cat.
Claire paused for a moment before slowly shaking her head. “I’d rather not. Levelling up just sounds like more unnecessary work.” The experience was certainly tempting; it had almost been a month since the last kill was added to her logs, but she was far from sitting at a standstill. Her true form had entered a growth spurt of sorts; it was gaining a few meters each week, with her talons and teeth elongating to match.
Her skills were also making a fair bit of progress. Even without any murder to boost her experience, she was gaining a skill level or two once every few days. Most came from weapon mastery, and perhaps because she relied so heavily on death’s dance, her essencethief class was also chugging along.
“If you’re okay with somewhere normal, then that’s even better,” said Lia. “Now the only question is where.”
“We can try asking Stella,” said Sylvia.
“Ask me about what?” The doctor emerged from her den with a cart full of fresh potions in hand. She was looking as tired as usual; her eyes were baggy and lifeless, and her hair was a ragged mess, though that was almost a given with the scorching heat of her atelier. Sylvia had offered a window, but the siren had rejected it on the grounds that an increase in ventilation would only interfere with the potion-making process.
“Oh! Hey Stella, perfect timing!” said the fox. “We were thinking of going on a company vacation thingy but we weren’t really sure where. Do you have any ideas?”
The former vet paused for a moment to fiddle with one of her jars, lightly swishing it in her hands as she watched the fluid jiggle. “Depends. Is this supposed to be a day trip?”
“I was thinking that we could take a few days off, but not too many,” said Lia. “The temps can only hold down the fort for so long.”
“In that case, it’d be best for us to stay local. Normally, I’d suggest one of the resorts, but Garm’s bound to be sick of them.”
“Huh?” Sylvia tilted her head. “Why would he be sick of ‘em?”
“He used to run one,” said the siren. “It was a bit of a pet project, but he gave up on it and sold it off to the Penhorns a few years back.”
“I guess that crosses that off the list then,” said Lia. “I'd like it to be something we can all enjoy.”
The doctor leaned back against the potion stand and scrunched up her brow. “If that's all you want, we could just all take some of this and call it a day.” She produced a small vial from her shirt and tossed it across the room. The clear liquid swished around inside the container, but its cork kept it tightly contained.
A quick inspection of the label, written by an incredibly messy hand, revealed that it was a bottle of instant ecstasy. Neither Claire nor Sylvia were familiar with the substance or its properties, but the cat flushed immediately. Her face piping hot, she carefully set the vial down on the desk and pushed it back towards the doctor.
“W-why do you even have that?” she asked, as she adjusted her glasses in a fluster.
“It's more or less a byproduct of making health potions,” said the doctor, with a shrug. “You can keep it if you want.”
“I-I'll have to pass, thank you,” said the blushing catgirl.
“Your loss,” said the doctor. She lifted the vial off the table and placed it back in her robe.
“What even is it?” asked Sylvia. Her eyes glowed in a faint green as she inspected it, but her head remained tilted. “I know its got a whole lotta magic, but I can't really tell what it does.”
“It’s a pretty simple concoction,” said Estelle. “Throw the scum off a layer of potions into a pot, add a couple mistroses, a chunk of bull shark milt, and a few more catalysts. Heat that for a few hours, and this is what you get.”
“Uhhh… I dunno what that means,” said the fox.
The doctor tucked her hands into her pockets with a grin. “It’s a love potion, and a real strong one.”
“Huh?” Sylvia blinked. Thrice. “Does that mean whoever drinks it is gonna fall in love with someone or something?”
The doctor laughed. “The only love potions that work like that are the ones you’ll hear about in songs. This does something… a little more realistic.”
“Uhhh… can you just get to the point? I’m still lost,” said the oversized squirrel.
“I-it’s an aphrodisiac,” said the cat, in a whisper.
“Exactly,” said the doctor. “Just one sip and you’ll be quivering for hours.”
“Ohhhhhh… now I get it,” said Sylvia. “It’s kinda like the stuff Al has sitting around the library. I wonder why he had so much of it… I’m pretty sure some of his spells have the same effect.”
“The more important question is why the stupid cat knows about it,” said Claire, as she turned a skeptical stare upon the party’s resident feline. “What do you have to say in your defense, Pervert?”
“I-I’m not a pervert, Claire!” cried Natalya. “I-it’s just that my master liked to collect them, so I just ended up learning about them.”
“I thought you said he didn’t molest you,” muttered the lyrkress.
“He didn’t, I swear! I-It’s just that my sister and I ended up sharing one once because we wanted to know what they were fo-wait! What am I saying!? Why did I just tell you that!?” She buried her face in a pile of papers as her blush crept down to her neck.
“I knew you were a pervert,” muttered Claire. “What kind of freak fools around with her own sister?”
“I-I-I don’t know what you're imagining, but w-w-we didn't do anything like that!” shouted the cat. “A-anyway, we're getting off-topic. W-we were supposed to be pitching ideas for the vacation.”
“Mmmnnnnn... oh, I know! We could go to the new colosseum thingy that the one weird horse guy set up!” suggested Sylvia.
The temporary arena made of snow had been replaced with a massive limestone construct. Almost three-quarters the size of the Valencian colosseum, it had several configurable waterways running through the arena for fighters of a more aquatic make. The thirty-meter-wide pipes, which were enchanted to withstand thousands of times the amount of force that their otherwise glass bodies could typically endure, ran all the way up the sides of the building, leaking into an amorphous, watery blob that floated well above the arena. The pool intertwined its way through the airspace, doubling as an obstacle for those that relied on their wings.
In the time since the Cadrian's takeover, the battleground had gone from a desolate gambling den to a well-known attraction. The man's strategy certainly played a key role; he had hired the best Vel'khanese warriors he could find and transformed them into symbols of the city's power. By bringing in fighters from other townships and countries, he could easily deliver a narrative that stirred up the locals’ pride and readily bought their interest.
“I’d rather not,” said Lia. “I’m not really a fan of that kind of stuff.”
“Huh? Didn’t you totally join in last time? I remember you fighting like a whole bunch of people.”
“T-that was just because there was money involved,” said the cat. “Didn’t you see how lucrative the prizes were?”
“Great, this again.” Claire breathed a sigh as she rested her chin on top of a stack of papers. “This is why everyone thinks you’re a pervert.”
“First of all, I’m not a pervert. And secondly, I don’t see how those two things are even remotely related,” huffed the catgirl.
“You were literally rolling around in a pile of gold in your room last night,” said Claire.
Lia’s face, which had only just returned to its usual shade, was once again made as red as a tomato. “Y-you saw that?”
“We both did!” said Sylvia. “And I guess technically Ciel kinda did too because I made her dream about it.”
“You did what!?”
“I’d hate to interrupt, but I have to head back to the atelier before the next cauldron is ready.” The siren placed a piece of paper between the three receptionists. “Here’s a list of everything I could think of.”
“Thanks,” said Lia.
The doctor replied with a halfhearted, lazy wave as she returned to her lab, leaving the trio to crowd and contemplate her list.
“Mmnnnnn, some of these places actually look kinda fun,” said Sylvia, as she pawed through the options. “The aquarium sounds really tasty, but I think the zoo would probably be more fun.”
“Stupid fox.” Claire scratched vixen's brow. “Aquariums are for looking. Not eating.”
“Yeah, I know!” she said, with a huff. “That’s why I said it wasn’t gonna be fun. It’s basically a huge tease unless we go to some super fancy seafood restaurant later.”
“We could go see a play,” said Claire. “Or maybe an opera.”
“I don’t know,” said Lia. “That seems a little too stiff for a casual break. I don’t think we’d be able to spend more than just a few hours at the theatre without getting bored.” She traced her finger down the page, lightly tapping it as she considered the options. “This is a lot harder than I thought it’d be. It’d probably be easier if any of us had something we’ve always wanted to do.”
“Yeah, I mean I’ve always wanted to explore ‘n stuff, but I dunno where we’d even start,” said the fox.
“There is something,” said Claire, quietly, “that I’ve always wanted to do.” She grabbed a book from under the desk and opened it to a map of the region. “The Ryllian Sea is supposed to have all the best chefs in the world,” she said, as she traced a finger from city to city. “We could go around trying all the best restaurants.”
“So like a food tour?” said Lia. “That could work, but it’d probably need a bit more planning. I doubt we’ll be able to get any reservations unless we call a few months ahead.”
Claire shook her head. “Not a problem.” She directed her eyes out the door and stared at the city’s most prominent landmark. “We just need to kidnap the stupid squid.”
