It was a long trip to return back home from their night in Kershin Market. A half moon and two crescent moons illuminated the road, allowing them to see the path that led out of the city and into the green hills once more. The horses calmly pulled the carriage forward as only the sound of their hooves and grunts were heard.
On their way into the city, the lonely road was traversed with gossip, conversations and a bright feeling of hope for the future. Upon their return, not a soul dared to break the silence as all voices were mute as they made their way back. No one would speak or look at one another for each face showed the same expression of exhaustion, defeat, guilt and terror at what they had survived.
Janette sat in the front with the reins in hand, leading the stallions with her head sunk down as she sat back with an empty stare. Felix was hunched over beside her, rubbing his jaw and cheek to soothe the stinging reminder of the beating he had endured hours ago. Inside the carriage, Reta stood next to Umeko with an upright posture and closed eyes, almost as if they were meditating together. KuliKuli was curled up in a ball while alone in her bench, resting her head in her arms with her tails curled up around her legs like a fluffy silver blanket.
When they had reached the crossroad which led between the Farmer's Den and Felix's cabin, Janette let out a tired sigh before turning left. She started to miss the smooth valley road once the path became populated with tall trees with branches so dense that they casted a haunting darkness over the dirt path. It was the one time someone in the cabin moved around as Janette dug into the chest behind their seats before finding a glass jar with glitterbugs inside. She reached for the empty lantern hung at the front end and dropped the glitterbugs inside their new glass case. She gave it a quick shake before the glitterbugs scattered and bounce around, their light growing bright enough to fight back the dark and grant them enough sight to push through.
It was an hour later when they finally arrived, with the horses slowing down to a halt. Felix hopped off and opened the carriage door, offering his hand for KuliKuli. She stepped out slowly, ignoring his chivalrous gesture while Reta stayed, looking uneasy. She stepped out but did not follow into the cabin, instead walking around to the front and whispering something in Janette's ear. She seemed surprised before responding back, to which Felix began to listen to when he heard his name. They turned to face him with Reta being the first to talk.
"I asked the bookworm if she would be fine with letting Umeko recover with her."
"Huh." Felix blinked, momentarily stunned by the proposal. "Why?"
"She mentioned that her house was large and that she could spare a room for her while she recovers."
Janette spoke up with a raised finger. "And we have plenty of food and water, plus I know a woman who could take a look at her for injuries or disease. She's a family friend, its too late tonight but I bet she wouldn't mind taking a look at her tomorrow morning. If she's busy, I could just say it's urgent and personal. She knows how to keep a secret."
Felix lowered his head, his eyebrows drawing together as his eyes grew narrow. "She's not keeping any secrets of ours, is she?"
"No-no, I haven't told her that. She would probably tell though, she knew me since I was born." Janette smiled nervously, keeping her head down. "Well, I try to keep her from hearing about my troubles but she's the one medic I would trust. She can take a look at you too, tomorrow. If you want."
He stood still, staring at her as she picked at her dirty dress and found another stain at the skirt. When she had finished talking, she leaned forward with her elbows on her thighs, hands covering her mouth while she closed her eyes and held her breath. Something was bothering her, he could tell. But she was being quiet, and he suspected that she was avoiding his gaze.
Still, as he turned his head to see KuliKuli at the doorway watching, he was reminded that she was not the only one who was unnaturally quiet tonight. He assumed it was because of how they had arrived so late that it would be early morning in a few hours, so perhaps everyone was tired. He knew he was tired, all he wanted was some sleep. There was too much that happened for him to think about to an extent that he felt that for the first time he was exhausted both physically and mentally.
KuliKuli stepped in, forcing a smile on her face with a friendly wave of her paw. "It sounds like a great plan. You can take Umeko with you, and us and Reta can go see you both tomorrow."
Reta voiced her disapproval with a grunt. "Well, I would be going with her."
"What?" Asked KuliKuli as her tails stopped wagging.
Reta looked her in the eyes as she spoke. "It is my responsibility to see to it that Umeko is back in good health, but for her and for her future child. Janette says she has a diverse garden and plenty of herbs in her food storage, and none of the ingredients I need to help treat her malnutrition tonight are in your storage or cellar."
Felix frowned, wondering how would she know that before going inside to check.
"When will you be coming back? Can we still visit tomorrow?" KuliKuli asked.
Reta took a moment to think over her response. "Well, perhaps a visit after two days would suffice. I would rather focus my efforts in ensuring that Umeko recovers well. You understand."
KuliKuli chuckled awkwardly and clapped her paws together. "Yes of course! You guys take all the time you'll need, I won't keep you waiting. Hurry back now, the sooner you get home the sooner you can all get some rest and feel better!"
She leaned her head to the open passenger door, peaking at Umeko with a friendly wave. "I'm sorry I didn't get to know you well today, my name is KuliKuli! You be safe and get some rest, okay?"
Umeko awkwardly shifted in her seat, raising her eyebrow and acknowledging her words with a subtle nod. KuliKuli reached out and gently closed the door for her, stepping back as Reta approached her slowly with a soft look on her face. There was something telling in her eyes, but the Nekomata could not figure out what exactly.
Was it sadness, resolve, joy? Whatever it was, it left her feeling uneasy until she was met with a strange gesture by her friend.
Reta kneeled down with a fist pressed to her breast and her head lowered with her eyes closed. She held this stance before standing back up, wiping the dirt off her knee. A quick breeze swept through them, sending a chill in the air as Reta trembled slightly, the cold being an unkind reminder of her near naked appearance, wearing her sarashi and underwear only. "Thank you, both of you, for helping me break her free. I asked a lot from you with hardly anything to give in return, and yet you sought to it as if she were a close friend of your own."
This brought a heartfelt smile to KuliKuli as she embraced Reta with open arms, closing the gap between them with a hug. "Of course, we couldn't just leave her there! A friend of yours is a friend of ours!"
Upon hearing these words, Reta flinched with an uneasy look on her face, hidden from the Nekomata's sight with her face resting on her shoulder. A twinge struck Reta like a dagger to the stomach, twisted with the malicious intent to churn the poor woman's insides. The feeling subsided briefly when they departed, with Reta unable to return the hug. KuliKuli chuckled, pretending not to have noticed while her tails tied themselves into a knot under her dress.
Felix had quietly slipped inside and came back out with a small blanket in hand, raising it to Reta. She stood still while he wrapped it around her, tucking the corners into her hands and smiling back to her.
"We'll be here." He said, holding the door open as she climbed inside the carriage. She nodded back before he closed the door, adjusting herself and rubbing the fuzzy blanket into her face for warmth. She froze, detecting a familiar scent to its fur before taking in a big whiff when her friend cleared her throat.
Umeko looked concerned. "It's strange seeing you interact with these Gaijin like so, and to see them treat you in that way. You know the others would not be fond about seeing this."
"What others?" Reta asked as she looked out the window. "There was hardly anyone even before the beasts invaded. Only you would see me, and here you are. Now be silent, I would much rather enjoy this journey without another word from either of us."
Umeko leaned back into her seat, resting her head with a look of contempt.
Janette wrapped her hand around the reins as Felix and KuliKuli said their good byes, nodding back with pursed lips and an upset feeling inside. She kept her head down, waiting as she heard them entering their cabin and close the door. Closing her eyes, she held her breath and felt a wave of emotions begin to rise, her eyes swelling up and her breath becoming irregular. She shook her head and bit her bottom lip, pinching her thigh and squeezing the skin as hard as she could until the physical pain overwhelmed the emotions.
That helped, she thought as she exhaled and wiped her eyes before tugging at the reins for the horses to step forward.
Inside the cabin, Felix kneeled down and grabbed a block of firewood to feed into the chimney before starting the fire to warm up the place. KuliKuli stood beside the window, watching the carriage disappear out of her line of sight. There was a look of melancholy in her eyes, the way she continued looking outside without any image to focus on, or possibly she was staring into her reflection.
Felix watched her once he had the fire going, rubbing his hands together and heading into the counter to retrieve a wooden bowl and a hand rag. After he filled the bowl halfway, he dunked the rag inside and pressed it into his cheek before sucking in air. When he turned back, KuliKuli did not move from her stance.
"What's wrong?" He asked, turning his back on her as he cupped his hands and splashed some water on his face.
"It's nothing." She answered back.
"Uh-huh. You've been quiet for a time."
"Just tired after all that happened."
"Been quiet since we rescued that woman, and the snake too." He mentioned.
KuliKuli sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Maybe it's better not to." He agreed, lowering his voice and pressing the rag on his forehead, wincing.
KuliKuli turned her head. "You didn't have to be so... serious, when you said that."
"Said what? When I said we can't bring the snake to our home? KuliKuli, she's large enough to wrap her tail around the entire bedroom twice. We don't have enough room for her here." He muttered.
She scoffed. "It wasn't just that, I could hear it in your voice. That sounds more like an excuse to cover up the real reason why."
He stayed quiet as she turned to face him.
"Would it be any different if she were our size, like a dog girl or another cat girl?"
Felix sighed and slowly turned to face her. "It would make me consider it a bit more, sure. But with her appearance and size, she scares me."
"Even after she helped Reta free her friend?"
"KuliKuli, we don't even know who that woman is to her. I don't know if we can call her Reta's friend."
"Yea but she went out of her way to help rescue her, that says a lot. don't you think?"
"It's a nice gesture, I was shocked to see that from her. I just didn't like what she had to say about her past."
KuliKuli paused as something else came to mind. "Did you know anything about her past?"
"Me? No, not at all." He answered honestly.
Her ears dropped down as she held her paws to her stomach, sitting down in turmoil. "Neither did I. I never thought about asking her until then, and now I feel like the worst friend for not asking. It's like I fooled myself into thinking I knew her."
Felix dropped the rag back into the bowl, staring into the surface of the water as the ripples behaved and a reflection of his bruised face began to show more clearly. "Some people don't mind keeping their past to themselves."
KuliKuli gave him a funny look. "That sounds like you said you don't mind not knowing."
"It's not in our business to know, she could share if she wanted." He shrugged.
"Well, what if she didn't feel comfortable sharing because we didn't let her know we were interested? You didn't think that maybe us not asking gave her the wrong hint of thinking we didn't care?"
Felix clicked his tongue as he went and sat down by the fireplace. "I think us risking our necks for that woman showed her we care."
They sat down with neither of them having more to say, listening to the sizzling sound from the fireplace, the flames licking the surface ot the chimney as it grew stronger and brighter.
"I'm just saying, I don't feel right about leaving her like this. I want to be with them right now, I think we should have went to Janette's house for tonight."
Felix leaned back in his chair and turned his head away, holding his hands together in front of him. "I think I've had my fill of heading out for tonight, or any other night."
KuliKuli turned her head. "What's that suppose to mean?"
He scoffed and gave her a look of disbelief. "With what we just came back from? I wasn't sure about going out and doing something new and tonight proved my point. I'm fine staying here, and you should be as well."
KuliKuli's tails held still as she lingered on his words. "You think... we should just not go out anymore? Not even to the den?"
"The den is fine, but I think it's safer if I go alone first. Let me see how things are going, if they're calm and relaxed then we can both go."
She frowned. "And what about me, am I suppose to accept that and stay here like a good little housecat? I don't get a say in this?"
He raised his hands. "Hey, it's only temporary. Give it time and see if things go back to normal. But I was fine living the way I was, it kept me out of trouble. We went to the circus because of you."
"Because of me, you're saying it's my fault this happened?"
"No. I misspoke-"
"I hope so." She interrupted, leaving him annoyed.
"Look, what I meant to say was that I took a chance out there because I thought you would enjoy it. But I wasn't comfortable about it. Going out to those public places with all of those folk, it just brings in nothing but trouble. I would rather keep my head down and be left to do my own thing. It's safer and at least here I can be in control of things without worrying about some scary magic maniac with a funny looking mustache speaking to me in riddles."
"It sounds like you want to keep control over me." She stated, crossed her arms.
Felix stared into her eyes with shock. "Is that what you believe? Do you think I'm keeping you locked up as my play thing? KuliKuli, I-I thought you were staying because of us."
"I am, I'm not saying that." She fussed, dropping on a stool next to him with a defeated look. "Felix, I love you but I don't want to stay in here locked up in fear. It feels like I've been scared for so long before, like I've been running from something."
"I'll say." Felix exclaimed, standing up from his chair. "You heard what that man said, something about people looking for you. I don't want to hear more about that, I'd much rather not. It doesn't help anyone of us, not one bit. See, that's another reason why I did what I did, why I said what I said when I told her she couldn't come with us. She's much too big, much too dangerous as a stranger, and frankly it was out of line to tell her she was welcome without asking me first. We live here together, I think I deserve a say in things too."
KuliKuli recoiled and shot up as well. "I told her she was welcome to stay with us because I thought you would want to help her just like how you helped Reta, remember?"
"No, I remember telling Reta she could stay for the night. You said she could stay as long as she needed."
"I asked you! And I remember you agreed and we did ask in private. What, now you don't want Reta to stay?"
"No-No, that is not what I meant." He stammered, snapping his fingers as his brain tried to keep up with his tongue. "I-I said that... what I said was- okay forget about that! We were talking about the snake girl, why did you want her to come with us in the first place?"
"Because she was lost, captured, and all alone. I didn't break her free, I think Reta did, but she was freed and it didn't look like she wanted to stay. And! And she helped us free Umeko too. And she reminded me about myself, because I was there too. I remember being captured, I remember being scared and wanting someone to save me but no one came! So what else could I do but ask her to stay with us?"
"Well I-I did not know that, why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't know either, not at first. This whole thing with my head, I felt super terrible when Reta was homeless but when I saw the snake and the magic man, it felt like these tiny little bits of emotion were drawn together and formed an image in my mind, a memory about me being in a cage too! It just happened, so how do you think I felt when you went and shot that down?"
"That's not fair, I didn't know that about you. You should have told me that before."
"Oh! Maybe you should have asked if you wanted to learn about my background." She responded in a mocking tone when her eyes widened in realization. "In fact, you never ask about my memories. Now that I think about it, it's only Jay-Jay who asks."
"I told her not to do that, it's not helping you."
"What!?" KuliKuli yelled, the revelation leaving her flabbergasted as Felix flinched and turned away. "Why would you do that? I want to learn more about myself too, like where I came from and what I use to be. You don't have the right to say that to her."
"I can see how it hurts you when we ask." He explained in a nervous tone. "I-I can see how your mouth would twitch and how you hold your head in pain. KuliKuli, she said you were panicking at one point when she asked. Why would I want you to go through that? I've lived through painful memories. If anything, I'm surprised you want to learn about it so badly."
"Why wouldn't I? Wouldn't you be bothered if you just woke up and didn't have a clue who or what you were?"
"Not really, no. I think that would be a blessing before, until I got to know you that is. Some people wouldn't mind forgetting a few bad memories."
"Well, I don't want to forget. What if I'm forgetting people who are looking for me? People who care about me too?" She asked, sinking to her knees. "I just want to remember what I use to be like. That doesn't mean I regret what I am now."
"I wouldn't ask for that, we've no idea what that could mean for us. Someone has a bounty for you for all we know, that terrifies me. I don't know how it doesn't frighten you. But I don't want to know if my partner was responsible for any malicious things before. I don't want that in my conscious, not after what we've shared and been through. And then you want to invite a snake girl in here too as if we were harboring some monster girl shelter in here, in a cabin that isn't even mine."
He continued. "You asked if it would make a difference if she were a dog girl or cat girl, and I think I would still say no. I trusted you when I agreed to let Reta stay, and I don't regret that. We've come to know each other a bit and connect better, I see that. But what if she stayed, then what? Would the snake stay here for a day? A week? A month? What happens next, what do we do if they come after her? How would she hide? What would she eat? Tell me, you don't know either. This isn't something we can take lightly, not anymore. People out there, they hate monster girls, hate them with a passion. You want to know why they hide? It's because they are hunted, they are killed. Because if people don't push them away, they'll hunt them instead."
"People say stories about how they assault you, torture you, how-how they have their way with you and then leave you for dead. And I believed them once, until I met you. But then I took a chance with you, I saw you were scared, you were lost too. You looked up to me and it was the first time anyone ever needed me. I felt like I existed again, I was scared but I was happy too. And I saw that you were different, and now I wonder if other monster girls are too."
"But then I remember that people can be monsters in the dark, when you have your back turned. People can be cruel, they can be evil. Monster girls or other races are all the same, I just would rather not take a chance and trust the wrong person because if I did, I would be losing you. I can't live with that, I can't. So, if closing that door keeps us safe from harm, I would do it. I would. And I'm sorry, I would never ever want you to feel like a prisoner in this home. But if you feel like I am holding you back, than that withers my spirit. I won't stop you, and if you want to get your memories back I won't stop that either."
He sank down into his chair, gasping and hiding his face in his hands. "I just want you safe and I want you happy. Can't we have both?"
Felix pushed the chair away, choosing to lay down on the ground next to the fire without saying another word. KuliKuli sat there and watched him, saw him staring at the fire with tired eyes and a crushed spirit. She headed to the bedroom and came back with a pillow in her paws and dragging a blanket with her tails, placing it over him and squeezed the pillow under his head, then crawled in to cuddle next to him. His hands trembled as they held her paws and she leaned her head into his chest, hoping his heart would slow down soon.
Perhaps it was a minute later, perhaps an hour after. It was not until her ears picked up the faint snoring from her mate that she felt at peace with closing her eyes to join him in their slumber.
It was a long trip to return back home from their night in Kershin Market. A half moon and two crescent moons illuminated the road, allowing them to see the path that led out of the city and into the green hills once more. The horses calmly pulled the carriage forward as only the sound of their hooves and grunts were heard.
On their way into the city, the lonely road was traversed with gossip, conversations and a bright feeling of hope for the future. Upon their return, not a soul dared to break the silence as all voices were mute as they made their way back. No one would speak or look at one another for each face showed the same expression of exhaustion, defeat, guilt and terror at what they had survived.
Janette sat in the front with the reins in hand, leading the stallions with her head sunk down as she sat back with an empty stare. Felix was hunched over beside her, rubbing his jaw and cheek to soothe the stinging reminder of the beating he had endured hours ago. Inside the carriage, Reta stood next to Umeko with an upright posture and closed eyes, almost as if they were meditating together. KuliKuli was curled up in a ball while alone in her bench, resting her head in her arms with her tails curled up around her legs like a fluffy silver blanket.
When they had reached the crossroad which led between the Farmer's Den and Felix's cabin, Janette let out a tired sigh before turning left. She started to miss the smooth valley road once the path became populated with tall trees with branches so dense that they casted a haunting darkness over the dirt path. It was the one time someone in the cabin moved around as Janette dug into the chest behind their seats before finding a glass jar with glitterbugs inside. She reached for the empty lantern hung at the front end and dropped the glitterbugs inside their new glass case. She gave it a quick shake before the glitterbugs scattered and bounce around, their light growing bright enough to fight back the dark and grant them enough sight to push through.
It was an hour later when they finally arrived, with the horses slowing down to a halt. Felix hopped off and opened the carriage door, offering his hand for KuliKuli. She stepped out slowly, ignoring his chivalrous gesture while Reta stayed, looking uneasy. She stepped out but did not follow into the cabin, instead walking around to the front and whispering something in Janette's ear. She seemed surprised before responding back, to which Felix began to listen to when he heard his name. They turned to face him with Reta being the first to talk.
"I asked the bookworm if she would be fine with letting Umeko recover with her."
"Huh." Felix blinked, momentarily stunned by the proposal. "Why?"
"She mentioned that her house was large and that she could spare a room for her while she recovers."
Janette spoke up with a raised finger. "And we have plenty of food and water, plus I know a woman who could take a look at her for injuries or disease. She's a family friend, its too late tonight but I bet she wouldn't mind taking a look at her tomorrow morning. If she's busy, I could just say it's urgent and personal. She knows how to keep a secret."
Felix lowered his head, his eyebrows drawing together as his eyes grew narrow. "She's not keeping any secrets of ours, is she?"
"No-no, I haven't told her that. She would probably tell though, she knew me since I was born." Janette smiled nervously, keeping her head down. "Well, I try to keep her from hearing about my troubles but she's the one medic I would trust. She can take a look at you too, tomorrow. If you want."
He stood still, staring at her as she picked at her dirty dress and found another stain at the skirt. When she had finished talking, she leaned forward with her elbows on her thighs, hands covering her mouth while she closed her eyes and held her breath. Something was bothering her, he could tell. But she was being quiet, and he suspected that she was avoiding his gaze.
Still, as he turned his head to see KuliKuli at the doorway watching, he was reminded that she was not the only one who was unnaturally quiet tonight. He assumed it was because of how they had arrived so late that it would be early morning in a few hours, so perhaps everyone was tired. He knew he was tired, all he wanted was some sleep. There was too much that happened for him to think about to an extent that he felt that for the first time he was exhausted both physically and mentally.
KuliKuli stepped in, forcing a smile on her face with a friendly wave of her paw. "It sounds like a great plan. You can take Umeko with you, and us and Reta can go see you both tomorrow."
Reta voiced her disapproval with a grunt. "Well, I would be going with her."
"What?" Asked KuliKuli as her tails stopped wagging.
Reta looked her in the eyes as she spoke. "It is my responsibility to see to it that Umeko is back in good health, but for her and for her future child. Janette says she has a diverse garden and plenty of herbs in her food storage, and none of the ingredients I need to help treat her malnutrition tonight are in your storage or cellar."
Felix frowned, wondering how would she know that before going inside to check.
"When will you be coming back? Can we still visit tomorrow?" KuliKuli asked.
Reta took a moment to think over her response. "Well, perhaps a visit after two days would suffice. I would rather focus my efforts in ensuring that Umeko recovers well. You understand."
KuliKuli chuckled awkwardly and clapped her paws together. "Yes of course! You guys take all the time you'll need, I won't keep you waiting. Hurry back now, the sooner you get home the sooner you can all get some rest and feel better!"
She leaned her head to the open passenger door, peaking at Umeko with a friendly wave. "I'm sorry I didn't get to know you well today, my name is KuliKuli! You be safe and get some rest, okay?"
Umeko awkwardly shifted in her seat, raising her eyebrow and acknowledging her words with a subtle nod. KuliKuli reached out and gently closed the door for her, stepping back as Reta approached her slowly with a soft look on her face. There was something telling in her eyes, but the Nekomata could not figure out what exactly.
Was it sadness, resolve, joy? Whatever it was, it left her feeling uneasy until she was met with a strange gesture by her friend.
Reta kneeled down with a fist pressed to her breast and her head lowered with her eyes closed. She held this stance before standing back up, wiping the dirt off her knee. A quick breeze swept through them, sending a chill in the air as Reta trembled slightly, the cold being an unkind reminder of her near naked appearance, wearing her sarashi and underwear only. "Thank you, both of you, for helping me break her free. I asked a lot from you with hardly anything to give in return, and yet you sought to it as if she were a close friend of your own."
This brought a heartfelt smile to KuliKuli as she embraced Reta with open arms, closing the gap between them with a hug. "Of course, we couldn't just leave her there! A friend of yours is a friend of ours!"
Upon hearing these words, Reta flinched with an uneasy look on her face, hidden from the Nekomata's sight with her face resting on her shoulder. A twinge struck Reta like a dagger to the stomach, twisted with the malicious intent to churn the poor woman's insides. The feeling subsided briefly when they departed, with Reta unable to return the hug. KuliKuli chuckled, pretending not to have noticed while her tails tied themselves into a knot under her dress.
Felix had quietly slipped inside and came back out with a small blanket in hand, raising it to Reta. She stood still while he wrapped it around her, tucking the corners into her hands and smiling back to her.
"We'll be here." He said, holding the door open as she climbed inside the carriage. She nodded back before he closed the door, adjusting herself and rubbing the fuzzy blanket into her face for warmth. She froze, detecting a familiar scent to its fur before taking in a big whiff when her friend cleared her throat.
Umeko looked concerned. "It's strange seeing you interact with these Gaijin like so, and to see them treat you in that way. You know the others would not be fond about seeing this."
"What others?" Reta asked as she looked out the window. "There was hardly anyone even before the beasts invaded. Only you would see me, and here you are. Now be silent, I would much rather enjoy this journey without another word from either of us."
Umeko leaned back into her seat, resting her head with a look of contempt.
Janette wrapped her hand around the reins as Felix and KuliKuli said their good byes, nodding back with pursed lips and an upset feeling inside. She kept her head down, waiting as she heard them entering their cabin and close the door. Closing her eyes, she held her breath and felt a wave of emotions begin to rise, her eyes swelling up and her breath becoming irregular. She shook her head and bit her bottom lip, pinching her thigh and squeezing the skin as hard as she could until the physical pain overwhelmed the emotions.
That helped, she thought as she exhaled and wiped her eyes before tugging at the reins for the horses to step forward.
Inside the cabin, Felix kneeled down and grabbed a block of firewood to feed into the chimney before starting the fire to warm up the place. KuliKuli stood beside the window, watching the carriage disappear out of her line of sight. There was a look of melancholy in her eyes, the way she continued looking outside without any image to focus on, or possibly she was staring into her reflection.
Felix watched her once he had the fire going, rubbing his hands together and heading into the counter to retrieve a wooden bowl and a hand rag. After he filled the bowl halfway, he dunked the rag inside and pressed it into his cheek before sucking in air. When he turned back, KuliKuli did not move from her stance.
"What's wrong?" He asked, turning his back on her as he cupped his hands and splashed some water on his face.
"It's nothing." She answered back.
"Uh-huh. You've been quiet for a time."
"Just tired after all that happened."
"Been quiet since we rescued that woman, and the snake too." He mentioned.
KuliKuli sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Maybe it's better not to." He agreed, lowering his voice and pressing the rag on his forehead, wincing.
KuliKuli turned her head. "You didn't have to be so... serious, when you said that."
"Said what? When I said we can't bring the snake to our home? KuliKuli, she's large enough to wrap her tail around the entire bedroom twice. We don't have enough room for her here." He muttered.
She scoffed. "It wasn't just that, I could hear it in your voice. That sounds more like an excuse to cover up the real reason why."
He stayed quiet as she turned to face him.
"Would it be any different if she were our size, like a dog girl or another cat girl?"
Felix sighed and slowly turned to face her. "It would make me consider it a bit more, sure. But with her appearance and size, she scares me."
"Even after she helped Reta free her friend?"
"KuliKuli, we don't even know who that woman is to her. I don't know if we can call her Reta's friend."
"Yea but she went out of her way to help rescue her, that says a lot. don't you think?"
"It's a nice gesture, I was shocked to see that from her. I just didn't like what she had to say about her past."
KuliKuli paused as something else came to mind. "Did you know anything about her past?"
"Me? No, not at all." He answered honestly.
Her ears dropped down as she held her paws to her stomach, sitting down in turmoil. "Neither did I. I never thought about asking her until then, and now I feel like the worst friend for not asking. It's like I fooled myself into thinking I knew her."
Felix dropped the rag back into the bowl, staring into the surface of the water as the ripples behaved and a reflection of his bruised face began to show more clearly. "Some people don't mind keeping their past to themselves."
KuliKuli gave him a funny look. "That sounds like you said you don't mind not knowing."
"It's not in our business to know, she could share if she wanted." He shrugged.
"Well, what if she didn't feel comfortable sharing because we didn't let her know we were interested? You didn't think that maybe us not asking gave her the wrong hint of thinking we didn't care?"
Felix clicked his tongue as he went and sat down by the fireplace. "I think us risking our necks for that woman showed her we care."
They sat down with neither of them having more to say, listening to the sizzling sound from the fireplace, the flames licking the surface ot the chimney as it grew stronger and brighter.
"I'm just saying, I don't feel right about leaving her like this. I want to be with them right now, I think we should have went to Janette's house for tonight."
Felix leaned back in his chair and turned his head away, holding his hands together in front of him. "I think I've had my fill of heading out for tonight, or any other night."
KuliKuli turned her head. "What's that suppose to mean?"
He scoffed and gave her a look of disbelief. "With what we just came back from? I wasn't sure about going out and doing something new and tonight proved my point. I'm fine staying here, and you should be as well."
KuliKuli's tails held still as she lingered on his words. "You think... we should just not go out anymore? Not even to the den?"
"The den is fine, but I think it's safer if I go alone first. Let me see how things are going, if they're calm and relaxed then we can both go."
She frowned. "And what about me, am I suppose to accept that and stay here like a good little housecat? I don't get a say in this?"
He raised his hands. "Hey, it's only temporary. Give it time and see if things go back to normal. But I was fine living the way I was, it kept me out of trouble. We went to the circus because of you."
"Because of me, you're saying it's my fault this happened?"
"No. I misspoke-"
"I hope so." She interrupted, leaving him annoyed.
"Look, what I meant to say was that I took a chance out there because I thought you would enjoy it. But I wasn't comfortable about it. Going out to those public places with all of those folk, it just brings in nothing but trouble. I would rather keep my head down and be left to do my own thing. It's safer and at least here I can be in control of things without worrying about some scary magic maniac with a funny looking mustache speaking to me in riddles."
"It sounds like you want to keep control over me." She stated, crossed her arms.
Felix stared into her eyes with shock. "Is that what you believe? Do you think I'm keeping you locked up as my play thing? KuliKuli, I-I thought you were staying because of us."
"I am, I'm not saying that." She fussed, dropping on a stool next to him with a defeated look. "Felix, I love you but I don't want to stay in here locked up in fear. It feels like I've been scared for so long before, like I've been running from something."
"I'll say." Felix exclaimed, standing up from his chair. "You heard what that man said, something about people looking for you. I don't want to hear more about that, I'd much rather not. It doesn't help anyone of us, not one bit. See, that's another reason why I did what I did, why I said what I said when I told her she couldn't come with us. She's much too big, much too dangerous as a stranger, and frankly it was out of line to tell her she was welcome without asking me first. We live here together, I think I deserve a say in things too."
KuliKuli recoiled and shot up as well. "I told her she was welcome to stay with us because I thought you would want to help her just like how you helped Reta, remember?"
"No, I remember telling Reta she could stay for the night. You said she could stay as long as she needed."
"I asked you! And I remember you agreed and we did ask in private. What, now you don't want Reta to stay?"
"No-No, that is not what I meant." He stammered, snapping his fingers as his brain tried to keep up with his tongue. "I-I said that... what I said was- okay forget about that! We were talking about the snake girl, why did you want her to come with us in the first place?"
"Because she was lost, captured, and all alone. I didn't break her free, I think Reta did, but she was freed and it didn't look like she wanted to stay. And! And she helped us free Umeko too. And she reminded me about myself, because I was there too. I remember being captured, I remember being scared and wanting someone to save me but no one came! So what else could I do but ask her to stay with us?"
"Well I-I did not know that, why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't know either, not at first. This whole thing with my head, I felt super terrible when Reta was homeless but when I saw the snake and the magic man, it felt like these tiny little bits of emotion were drawn together and formed an image in my mind, a memory about me being in a cage too! It just happened, so how do you think I felt when you went and shot that down?"
"That's not fair, I didn't know that about you. You should have told me that before."
"Oh! Maybe you should have asked if you wanted to learn about my background." She responded in a mocking tone when her eyes widened in realization. "In fact, you never ask about my memories. Now that I think about it, it's only Jay-Jay who asks."
"I told her not to do that, it's not helping you."
"What!?" KuliKuli yelled, the revelation leaving her flabbergasted as Felix flinched and turned away. "Why would you do that? I want to learn more about myself too, like where I came from and what I use to be. You don't have the right to say that to her."
"I can see how it hurts you when we ask." He explained in a nervous tone. "I-I can see how your mouth would twitch and how you hold your head in pain. KuliKuli, she said you were panicking at one point when she asked. Why would I want you to go through that? I've lived through painful memories. If anything, I'm surprised you want to learn about it so badly."
"Why wouldn't I? Wouldn't you be bothered if you just woke up and didn't have a clue who or what you were?"
"Not really, no. I think that would be a blessing before, until I got to know you that is. Some people wouldn't mind forgetting a few bad memories."
"Well, I don't want to forget. What if I'm forgetting people who are looking for me? People who care about me too?" She asked, sinking to her knees. "I just want to remember what I use to be like. That doesn't mean I regret what I am now."
"I wouldn't ask for that, we've no idea what that could mean for us. Someone has a bounty for you for all we know, that terrifies me. I don't know how it doesn't frighten you. But I don't want to know if my partner was responsible for any malicious things before. I don't want that in my conscious, not after what we've shared and been through. And then you want to invite a snake girl in here too as if we were harboring some monster girl shelter in here, in a cabin that isn't even mine."
He continued. "You asked if it would make a difference if she were a dog girl or cat girl, and I think I would still say no. I trusted you when I agreed to let Reta stay, and I don't regret that. We've come to know each other a bit and connect better, I see that. But what if she stayed, then what? Would the snake stay here for a day? A week? A month? What happens next, what do we do if they come after her? How would she hide? What would she eat? Tell me, you don't know either. This isn't something we can take lightly, not anymore. People out there, they hate monster girls, hate them with a passion. You want to know why they hide? It's because they are hunted, they are killed. Because if people don't push them away, they'll hunt them instead."
"People say stories about how they assault you, torture you, how-how they have their way with you and then leave you for dead. And I believed them once, until I met you. But then I took a chance with you, I saw you were scared, you were lost too. You looked up to me and it was the first time anyone ever needed me. I felt like I existed again, I was scared but I was happy too. And I saw that you were different, and now I wonder if other monster girls are too."
"But then I remember that people can be monsters in the dark, when you have your back turned. People can be cruel, they can be evil. Monster girls or other races are all the same, I just would rather not take a chance and trust the wrong person because if I did, I would be losing you. I can't live with that, I can't. So, if closing that door keeps us safe from harm, I would do it. I would. And I'm sorry, I would never ever want you to feel like a prisoner in this home. But if you feel like I am holding you back, than that withers my spirit. I won't stop you, and if you want to get your memories back I won't stop that either."
He sank down into his chair, gasping and hiding his face in his hands. "I just want you safe and I want you happy. Can't we have both?"
Felix pushed the chair away, choosing to lay down on the ground next to the fire without saying another word. KuliKuli sat there and watched him, saw him staring at the fire with tired eyes and a crushed spirit. She headed to the bedroom and came back with a pillow in her paws and dragging a blanket with her tails, placing it over him and squeezed the pillow under his head, then crawled in to cuddle next to him. His hands trembled as they held her paws and she leaned her head into his chest, hoping his heart would slow down soon.
Perhaps it was a minute later, perhaps an hour after. It was not until her ears picked up the faint snoring from her mate that she felt at peace with closing her eyes to join him in their slumber.
