To Friends and Misery
Kei’s staring at the skies while holding a note. On the note was Emily telling her they were even. And now she’ll know what it feels like to get fucked and left behind.
“Is this what it feels like to have your heart shattered into many pieces?”
It tempted me to laugh at her. Kei noticed me holding up my laugh and sneered.
“Oh, laugh all you can, asshole.”
“I just thought it was coming, and it did.”
“Yeah, and here I was hoping I got some bits of happiness here. Guess she can’t get over it.”
“What was the saying again? Hell has no fury like a woman scorned”
Kei crumpled the note and spat on the ground.
“Well, shit, it actually hurts.”
“Now you know how she feels.”
“Maybe?”
She was craning her head around the area. Alonzo District was going to be spending the next few months, or possibly years, in a difficult position. None can save them now from this. Unless a corporation comes in and makes this place their playground, and destroys what little individuality it has and replaces it with monotonous blocks of concrete and steel.
“A shame. I kinda liked the feeling of this place.”
“You did?” I asked, genuinely curious about why.
“What’s not to like? Not as crowded as the major districts, and far from the usual commotion Changye offers.”
It was peaceful. Too peaceful for people who got used to the hustle and bustle of the inner districts. If you have a business here, it’ll not grow. Hells, this place can be a good place to live a somewhat peaceful life. Places like this, however, attract scum like the cultists who started the ritual in the flesh-pit mine.
“It attracts the worst kind, however.”
Kei sagged her shoulders in dismay. She fishes out a cigarette from her pocket and lit it. Taking a long drag, the smoke zigzagged up before a lone breeze swiped it to the side.
“Every place has a fatal flaw to it. A shame, I was seriously considering moving here. Our base, at least.”
“A bit too far to my liking.”
“Yeah, it won’t do us good moving here now. Too much happened, and we’d be more open for scrutiny.”
“So back to Asobe?”
Kei leans on the staircase with her head up in the clouds.
“Fuck, I want to drink and forget.”
“You shouldn’t do that.”
She looks at me, angry.
“You say that because you have a fairly decent nightlife.”
“Not really.”
“Bitch, aren’t you sleeping with the Mage?”
“It’s complicated.”
I don’t know what to think about it. Sure, I enjoyed spending the night with Cindy, but beyond that. I haven’t really tried to do that again. Our relationship was strange, and we’re past being juveniles who were into cyberspace and fantasies.
“Men should boast about it, you know?”
“Is that how it is? I don’t really see a reason to do it.”
Kei looked at me like I was some strange two-headed dog.
“You’re weird, Akun. Really weird.”
“Rude, kinda.”
“I mean, it’s somewhat true. Sometimes, I think you’re just there, watching.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. My mind’s a mess right now.”
“Seems taking it well, honestly.”
She looked at me dully.
“Can’t you see how broken I am?”
She laughed at herself.
“No, I suspect she was being too kind. Fooled myself into thinking she’s the kind to forgive and forget. She’s a merc, and I know she was playing me. Maybe I thought it's best for her to do so, but I let myself act like she fooled me.”
“Sounds like cope.”
“Maybe,” she smiled bitterly, kneading her face. “I don’t know if I loved her or not, really. I think it’s best for me to get this.”
“If that’s what you want to think, then so be it.”
She glared.
“Sometimes, you lack the right words to say. Could lick my boot for once, you know?”
“Maybe one day, Ma’am.”
She studied me seriously and then sank her shoulders again in a manner unbefitting her.
“Akun. I don’t feel successful.”
“Why’s that?”
“I should be happy. Got all the shit I need. Got my freedom. And an office I worked hard to have. I can live passively if I want to, but sometimes I feel miserable.”
“Mind if I say what’s in my mind?”
“Go ahead.”
“You’re still mourning, Eta.”
Kei’s face crumbled. She looked at me with a somewhat enlightened expression and then nodded slowly.
“I don’t think I am.”
“The overworking. The non stop chasing. Hells, I feel like we were being chased by some ghost by how you were working hard. Maybe I’m wrong, and you aren’t, but that’s how I see it. You spend good years with Eta. She had your back, and you got hers. Losing a friend does that.”
“Did I look that away?”
“To me, at least.”
Kei contemplated deeply.
“Maybe it did. She’s my sister. Hell, I don’t care if she earned money behind my back. But she stood in front of creatures beyond understanding without a damn fear. She stood in front of a man-made God. But you know what? I don’t like it. How we say she died well, but no one knows her name. I’d prefer if she was alive. I really do."
She then laughed mildly.
“How did this end up with me missing her?”
“Who knows, Ma’am? You’ve been running wild as a workaholic.”
Honestly, what we got from this business was small. So, I don’t need Kei right now to feel like shit. I do think she’s coping with losing an old friend, so I don’t want her to get even sadder with Emily fucking her and then dumping her after their arrangement is over. With this, they’re done, and despite how emotional she was this time. I think part of her accepted the fact it’s done.
“Well, I’m done with this place. Let me tell you honestly, Akun.”
“Thought you liked this place.”
“Not anymore. Let’s leave before I remember how I got dumped again. I’m sure you’re tired of listening to your dear boss acting so unprofessional.”
I didn’t dare to answer that.
***
Kei forced me to join her in drinking her heart out the moment we stepped out of the service train. She practically dragged me to a karaoke bar and watched her sing and dance around.
Threatened by the prospects of being fired. I had to match her heartfelt drinking and singing. I think she really means to fire me if I don’t do what she says right now, which is unreasonable, but somehow makes sense at the moment.
Being back in the inner city of Lower Changye lessened my concern for any cultist following us. It’s relaxing to smell the acrid air of Changye this strong again.
The AC air does help, but it still smells acrid. This Karaoke Bar’s not that far from our office. How I didn’t notice this one surprised me since I thought I knew all the shops you can find in Asobe, but it seems there were many places I have to find.
Took a while for Kei to tire of singing. She lounged on the sofa and took a drink of her whiskey. Shaking the rocks on her glass.
“You know the shittiest thing about having bioware implants, Akun?”
“I do. Remember?”
“Yeah, you still have flesh on you. I sometimes forget you don’t carry cyberware like me. Fascinating, isn’t it? How most of the people are now carrying metal? It’s the cheapest way. Bioware Augmentations cost a fortune and you have to maintain the same way you do a normal body. I like it better than cybers because you have control over it. No chance some gearhead can get into your neural processor takes control of you like a damn puppet.”
Most neural processors connecting the cyberware augmentation can be hijacked. I saw it happen too many times and as years pass, more augmentations are getting vulnerable even to the script kiddies who can just download a script deck and use it to fuck with normal people. It’s probably why I keep my tech to wearable tech. Don’t want people in my head. I can’t risk having them take control of me.
I drink my whiskey. Kei leans close to me and pulls her tie loose. Tried pushing her away, but she made me drink this heavy stuff that made me wonder if it’s even allowed to be sold in the market.
“Guess they are catering to those who can’t easily get drunk.”
“It costs a lot, Akun. So drink up and don’t worry about it!”
“And how do we get home?”
“We’ll figure it out. Someway or another. Akun. Are you my friend?”
Caught me off guard. My tongue got tied. And my head hurt for a second. However, I could answer somewhat truthfully.
“If you allow me.”
Kei nodded curtly.
“Thanks. I needed that.”
I took a sip of the drink.
“Are you sure, though?”
“I just have to hear it. Hells, it doesn’t even matter if you really think we are not. I just need someone to tell me.”
She really sounds like she got hit hard by Emily. I settled down and told her as softly as possible.
“I mean… you’re legit, the greatest boss I have, Kei.”
I’ve been under criminals and corrupt motherfuckers I wanted to shoot in the head. Followed their orders while paying me scrap. Compared to the crappy bosses I’ve been with.
She’s a saint.
She looked surprised at my declaration, then realized I wasn’t lying at all.
“Well, I’d better be. I pay you fairly and you do good work. Which confuses me about you, really. I know what you can do. How did they ever think of letting go of an asset like you?”
“Being a debt-slave means they limit you to what you do. Think about it, if I act too competent, they’ll start thinking about how they want me in their company permanently. I do the work as well as I can once my debt’s done with them. I will move on to the next company.”
“It sounds like you’re being held by the one holding your contract and passed around to do odd jobs.”
I agreed. “That’s how it was. One of the merciful contracts. I got lucky. Most debt-slaves don’t get out of their contracts and have to spend their life paying for interest.”
She raises her glass.
“How come you didn’t?”
“I befriended the guy who issued the contract. Got him out of a bunch of chrome junkies from stabbing him in the gut. He got in a good mood and issued a contract.”
“Guy didn’t get into trouble?”
“No. He had enough rep in the company to ‘look over’ the mistake and got away with issuing the contract. Eh, to be honest, he was already getting more than enough from the payment I will make, so he had no issue ignoring the usual interest for extra cost. It’s actually surprising how these guys value their life.”
“No shit. Aren’t you lucky?”
I shrugged and took a mouthful of the strong whiskey. Debt-slavery remained a debt slavery. No amount of ‘ being lucky’ could change the fact someone made me a slave in name. It sticks with you, degrades you, and the worst part of it all was I wanted it as an easy way out of my money problems.
“Well, we make shitty mistakes, glad to know you fucked more up than I ever did.” She raised a glass. “So cheers to our misery!”
“Cheers!”
I clink my glass and continue drinking with Kei. It was around 2 PM when we got out of the karaoke bar with our heads swimming. We took turns on vomiting on side alleys and by the time we got back to the office. We could barely stand and had to lean on each other to just open the damn door.
To Friends and Misery
Kei’s staring at the skies while holding a note. On the note was Emily telling her they were even. And now she’ll know what it feels like to get fucked and left behind.
“Is this what it feels like to have your heart shattered into many pieces?”
It tempted me to laugh at her. Kei noticed me holding up my laugh and sneered.
“Oh, laugh all you can, asshole.”
“I just thought it was coming, and it did.”
“Yeah, and here I was hoping I got some bits of happiness here. Guess she can’t get over it.”
“What was the saying again? Hell has no fury like a woman scorned”
Kei crumpled the note and spat on the ground.
“Well, shit, it actually hurts.”
“Now you know how she feels.”
“Maybe?”
She was craning her head around the area. Alonzo District was going to be spending the next few months, or possibly years, in a difficult position. None can save them now from this. Unless a corporation comes in and makes this place their playground, and destroys what little individuality it has and replaces it with monotonous blocks of concrete and steel.
“A shame. I kinda liked the feeling of this place.”
“You did?” I asked, genuinely curious about why.
“What’s not to like? Not as crowded as the major districts, and far from the usual commotion Changye offers.”
It was peaceful. Too peaceful for people who got used to the hustle and bustle of the inner districts. If you have a business here, it’ll not grow. Hells, this place can be a good place to live a somewhat peaceful life. Places like this, however, attract scum like the cultists who started the ritual in the flesh-pit mine.
“It attracts the worst kind, however.”
Kei sagged her shoulders in dismay. She fishes out a cigarette from her pocket and lit it. Taking a long drag, the smoke zigzagged up before a lone breeze swiped it to the side.
“Every place has a fatal flaw to it. A shame, I was seriously considering moving here. Our base, at least.”
“A bit too far to my liking.”
“Yeah, it won’t do us good moving here now. Too much happened, and we’d be more open for scrutiny.”
“So back to Asobe?”
Kei leans on the staircase with her head up in the clouds.
“Fuck, I want to drink and forget.”
“You shouldn’t do that.”
She looks at me, angry.
“You say that because you have a fairly decent nightlife.”
“Not really.”
“Bitch, aren’t you sleeping with the Mage?”
“It’s complicated.”
I don’t know what to think about it. Sure, I enjoyed spending the night with Cindy, but beyond that. I haven’t really tried to do that again. Our relationship was strange, and we’re past being juveniles who were into cyberspace and fantasies.
“Men should boast about it, you know?”
“Is that how it is? I don’t really see a reason to do it.”
Kei looked at me like I was some strange two-headed dog.
“You’re weird, Akun. Really weird.”
“Rude, kinda.”
“I mean, it’s somewhat true. Sometimes, I think you’re just there, watching.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. My mind’s a mess right now.”
“Seems taking it well, honestly.”
She looked at me dully.
“Can’t you see how broken I am?”
She laughed at herself.
“No, I suspect she was being too kind. Fooled myself into thinking she’s the kind to forgive and forget. She’s a merc, and I know she was playing me. Maybe I thought it's best for her to do so, but I let myself act like she fooled me.”
“Sounds like cope.”
“Maybe,” she smiled bitterly, kneading her face. “I don’t know if I loved her or not, really. I think it’s best for me to get this.”
“If that’s what you want to think, then so be it.”
She glared.
“Sometimes, you lack the right words to say. Could lick my boot for once, you know?”
“Maybe one day, Ma’am.”
She studied me seriously and then sank her shoulders again in a manner unbefitting her.
“Akun. I don’t feel successful.”
“Why’s that?”
“I should be happy. Got all the shit I need. Got my freedom. And an office I worked hard to have. I can live passively if I want to, but sometimes I feel miserable.”
“Mind if I say what’s in my mind?”
“Go ahead.”
“You’re still mourning, Eta.”
Kei’s face crumbled. She looked at me with a somewhat enlightened expression and then nodded slowly.
“I don’t think I am.”
“The overworking. The non stop chasing. Hells, I feel like we were being chased by some ghost by how you were working hard. Maybe I’m wrong, and you aren’t, but that’s how I see it. You spend good years with Eta. She had your back, and you got hers. Losing a friend does that.”
“Did I look that away?”
“To me, at least.”
Kei contemplated deeply.
“Maybe it did. She’s my sister. Hell, I don’t care if she earned money behind my back. But she stood in front of creatures beyond understanding without a damn fear. She stood in front of a man-made God. But you know what? I don’t like it. How we say she died well, but no one knows her name. I’d prefer if she was alive. I really do."
She then laughed mildly.
“How did this end up with me missing her?”
“Who knows, Ma’am? You’ve been running wild as a workaholic.”
Honestly, what we got from this business was small. So, I don’t need Kei right now to feel like shit. I do think she’s coping with losing an old friend, so I don’t want her to get even sadder with Emily fucking her and then dumping her after their arrangement is over. With this, they’re done, and despite how emotional she was this time. I think part of her accepted the fact it’s done.
“Well, I’m done with this place. Let me tell you honestly, Akun.”
“Thought you liked this place.”
“Not anymore. Let’s leave before I remember how I got dumped again. I’m sure you’re tired of listening to your dear boss acting so unprofessional.”
I didn’t dare to answer that.
***
Kei forced me to join her in drinking her heart out the moment we stepped out of the service train. She practically dragged me to a karaoke bar and watched her sing and dance around.
Threatened by the prospects of being fired. I had to match her heartfelt drinking and singing. I think she really means to fire me if I don’t do what she says right now, which is unreasonable, but somehow makes sense at the moment.
Being back in the inner city of Lower Changye lessened my concern for any cultist following us. It’s relaxing to smell the acrid air of Changye this strong again.
The AC air does help, but it still smells acrid. This Karaoke Bar’s not that far from our office. How I didn’t notice this one surprised me since I thought I knew all the shops you can find in Asobe, but it seems there were many places I have to find.
Took a while for Kei to tire of singing. She lounged on the sofa and took a drink of her whiskey. Shaking the rocks on her glass.
“You know the shittiest thing about having bioware implants, Akun?”
“I do. Remember?”
“Yeah, you still have flesh on you. I sometimes forget you don’t carry cyberware like me. Fascinating, isn’t it? How most of the people are now carrying metal? It’s the cheapest way. Bioware Augmentations cost a fortune and you have to maintain the same way you do a normal body. I like it better than cybers because you have control over it. No chance some gearhead can get into your neural processor takes control of you like a damn puppet.”
Most neural processors connecting the cyberware augmentation can be hijacked. I saw it happen too many times and as years pass, more augmentations are getting vulnerable even to the script kiddies who can just download a script deck and use it to fuck with normal people. It’s probably why I keep my tech to wearable tech. Don’t want people in my head. I can’t risk having them take control of me.
I drink my whiskey. Kei leans close to me and pulls her tie loose. Tried pushing her away, but she made me drink this heavy stuff that made me wonder if it’s even allowed to be sold in the market.
“Guess they are catering to those who can’t easily get drunk.”
“It costs a lot, Akun. So drink up and don’t worry about it!”
“And how do we get home?”
“We’ll figure it out. Someway or another. Akun. Are you my friend?”
Caught me off guard. My tongue got tied. And my head hurt for a second. However, I could answer somewhat truthfully.
“If you allow me.”
Kei nodded curtly.
“Thanks. I needed that.”
I took a sip of the drink.
“Are you sure, though?”
“I just have to hear it. Hells, it doesn’t even matter if you really think we are not. I just need someone to tell me.”
She really sounds like she got hit hard by Emily. I settled down and told her as softly as possible.
“I mean… you’re legit, the greatest boss I have, Kei.”
I’ve been under criminals and corrupt motherfuckers I wanted to shoot in the head. Followed their orders while paying me scrap. Compared to the crappy bosses I’ve been with.
She’s a saint.
She looked surprised at my declaration, then realized I wasn’t lying at all.
“Well, I’d better be. I pay you fairly and you do good work. Which confuses me about you, really. I know what you can do. How did they ever think of letting go of an asset like you?”
“Being a debt-slave means they limit you to what you do. Think about it, if I act too competent, they’ll start thinking about how they want me in their company permanently. I do the work as well as I can once my debt’s done with them. I will move on to the next company.”
“It sounds like you’re being held by the one holding your contract and passed around to do odd jobs.”
I agreed. “That’s how it was. One of the merciful contracts. I got lucky. Most debt-slaves don’t get out of their contracts and have to spend their life paying for interest.”
She raises her glass.
“How come you didn’t?”
“I befriended the guy who issued the contract. Got him out of a bunch of chrome junkies from stabbing him in the gut. He got in a good mood and issued a contract.”
“Guy didn’t get into trouble?”
“No. He had enough rep in the company to ‘look over’ the mistake and got away with issuing the contract. Eh, to be honest, he was already getting more than enough from the payment I will make, so he had no issue ignoring the usual interest for extra cost. It’s actually surprising how these guys value their life.”
“No shit. Aren’t you lucky?”
I shrugged and took a mouthful of the strong whiskey. Debt-slavery remained a debt slavery. No amount of ‘ being lucky’ could change the fact someone made me a slave in name. It sticks with you, degrades you, and the worst part of it all was I wanted it as an easy way out of my money problems.
“Well, we make shitty mistakes, glad to know you fucked more up than I ever did.” She raised a glass. “So cheers to our misery!”
“Cheers!”
I clink my glass and continue drinking with Kei. It was around 2 PM when we got out of the karaoke bar with our heads swimming. We took turns on vomiting on side alleys and by the time we got back to the office. We could barely stand and had to lean on each other to just open the damn door.
