Chapter 337. At a Motel with a Prostitute in the Room Next Door: Spending the Night with Yuna. (2/5)
I gritted my teeth firmly together as I felt pure unbridled revulsion fill my heart. Anger. Never had I ever gotten angry to the point I wanted someone dead from the bottom of my heart. I was pretty carefree and indifferent to the ruthless nature of the cruel world we lived in. But something had definitely changed in me. As usual, it was Rosa’s fault I felt this way.
Wanting to make me experience all sorts of different emotions to kill the old me off. Even including something like this, huh?
The world would really be a better place without those trashy gang members. Many people don’t want to even consider the death penalty these days. People go on about garbage like benevolence, forgiveness, and how all human life is priceless. Go fuck yourselves. That kind of idealistic bullshit destroys and ruins more lives than it saves.
For each of these people who exist, one or more people will die or suffer a fate worse than death because of them.
What about the assailant’s family and friends who care about them? Fuck them. If the family raised a piece of trash then they shouldn’t complain if someone cleans up after their mistakes. Their friends? If their friends were any benefit to the world they would have been an influence that would have stopped their friend from becoming such a vile monster.
In exchange for failing as a friend, they should experience a degree of suffering that makes them more firmly wish to prevent their friends from making the same kind of mistake. Even if it means beating some sense into their friend by force. Those who use violence against others don’t understand what it’s like when the roles are reversed. If that’s the case, you need to make them understand it by engraving that fear into their body.
Not this pacifistic, easy-going, idealistic reformist shit that lets these types get a small slap on the wrist and put behind bars. They’re fed food, given shelter, and a community where they can boast about all the atrocities they’ve committed to others who are similarly minded to them. You say they’re rotting behind bars and justice has been served? You think they’ll come to regret what they did by doing so?
No. They won’t. They’ll simply laugh about it behind your back and act like they’re remorseful with some fake crocodile tears. They don’t care. What they’re regretting is that they were caught. Regretting they weren’t smart enough on how to get away with it. Not regretting the act itself.
If you want them to regret the act itself, let them suffer the same fate as their victim before they inevitably die. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to yourself. If someone shows they’ve changed after coming to understand what they did, then let them live. If they have not, then death is only fitting.
I took a deep breath in and held it in for a minute before I exhaled out slowly to calm myself down. I… shouldn’t lose myself in rage to the point that the only thing I think about is killing.
Really now… isn’t my line of thinking eerily similar to something else? Hell. Is that not a similar regime to what those sentenced to hell would experience? Is it because I’m a devil, my line of thinking headed toward that direction on its own?
But by subjecting those to what they’ve done to others, I’d become exactly what they are. I guess that was where trying to break an endless cycle of hatred came into play. It was a negative feedback loop.
But… if only one person had to suffer that fate… would I take it upon myself to be that person? I am a devil. It’s only fitting such a role lands upon my back.
Justice will prevail over evil.
That’s what we’re told.
But what if those who were evil were the ones feeding you that?
Then… they’d be shoving nothing but lies down your throat and laughing at how gullible you were behind your back.
Contemptible.
Truly… contemptible.
Justice prevailing over evil?
What a joke.
That’s wishful thinking.
In an ideal world, that might be the case.
However, we did not live in an ideal world.
The world was a cruel mistress who cared little for what we believed was justice. All creatures were treated equally regardless of what they did to others. In fact, those who were cruel and merciless were often rewarded for it by nature.
Only humans have lost their way.
I’m not saying there cannot be kindness in the world.
No, there should be.
But… as with everything in this world, there must be a balance of both worlds.
To be both kind and cruel.
That is a devil.
That is the true calling of a devil.
Devils are not the epitome of pure evil.
They are the balancing force.
But naturally, with all things, there exist devils who are too much of one thing as well.
A devil who only shows kindness.
A devil who only knows of cruelty.
I’m sure both ends of the spectrum exist.
What sort of devil am I?
Kindness or cruelty, pick your poison.
If asked to pick, I’d take both.
“Hey… Ran…”
I was brought back to reality when the girl in front of me raised her head up off my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and called out my name.
“What is it?”
“I… want to… do it.”
“Do it? Do what?”
“My first time. I... don’t want it to turn out that way. I’ll regret it if it does.”
“...”
“Please, Ran.”
“You’ll come to regret it if you do this.”
“I’d rather regret my first time being with a guy I don’t hate than regretting that I didn’t ever do it and end up in a position where my first time could become something as awful as that. For all I know, I might even die before I get a chance to do it for the first time. You never know when your life will end. It could be tomorrow, the day after that, maybe even a week from now.”
“You don’t need to worry, that nightmare will never come true and you’re not going to die any time soon either. You shouldn’t do this just because you’re comparing which you’d regret more. You should wait until you find that author you like so much and see if things work out with him. I’m sure you’d be happiest if your first time was with the person you really like.”
“I’m… fine with this being a regret. Just please... show me a pleasant dream... that wipes that terrible nightmare away from my mind forever. That’s all I want right now. Please. I’m… begging you. Save... me… from seeing that nightmare over… and over again… until it becomes forever engraved into my memories for eternity. I want to forget it.”
“You’re… really sure you want to do this?”
“Yes… I’m sure.”
“There’s no going back if you do.”
“Until we leave in the morning… just for tonight… let me be your girlfriend... until then... so I can have a nice dream.”
I moved my mouth beside her ear and whispered, “I refuse.”
“You’d… refuse me... even after saying all that?”
“No. What I’m saying is… it’s fine if you stay my girlfriend till the end of time. There’s no need for you to feel any guilt or heartache after this since you’ll always be my girlfriend from now on. Did you forget? Your soul is already mine. You can’t escape even if you want to. I won’t hand you over even to that author you like so much.”
“But… Rosa…”
“Forget Rosa for right now. For this instant in time, you’re the one who’s in front of me. It’s okay for you to be happy.”
“It’s… really okay?” Yuna’s lips quivered as those words leaked out.
“Yes. Because I’m a devil. A true devil. The only bad one here is me. I am an evil existence who grabs hold of the weaknesses in people’s hearts and exploits them for my own gain. You’re just a pitiful girl who fell into the hands of a devil and can no longer escape.”
Chapter 337. At a Motel with a Prostitute in the Room Next Door: Spending the Night with Yuna. (2/5)
I gritted my teeth firmly together as I felt pure unbridled revulsion fill my heart. Anger. Never had I ever gotten angry to the point I wanted someone dead from the bottom of my heart. I was pretty carefree and indifferent to the ruthless nature of the cruel world we lived in. But something had definitely changed in me. As usual, it was Rosa’s fault I felt this way.
Wanting to make me experience all sorts of different emotions to kill the old me off. Even including something like this, huh?
The world would really be a better place without those trashy gang members. Many people don’t want to even consider the death penalty these days. People go on about garbage like benevolence, forgiveness, and how all human life is priceless. Go fuck yourselves. That kind of idealistic bullshit destroys and ruins more lives than it saves.
For each of these people who exist, one or more people will die or suffer a fate worse than death because of them.
What about the assailant’s family and friends who care about them? Fuck them. If the family raised a piece of trash then they shouldn’t complain if someone cleans up after their mistakes. Their friends? If their friends were any benefit to the world they would have been an influence that would have stopped their friend from becoming such a vile monster.
In exchange for failing as a friend, they should experience a degree of suffering that makes them more firmly wish to prevent their friends from making the same kind of mistake. Even if it means beating some sense into their friend by force. Those who use violence against others don’t understand what it’s like when the roles are reversed. If that’s the case, you need to make them understand it by engraving that fear into their body.
Not this pacifistic, easy-going, idealistic reformist shit that lets these types get a small slap on the wrist and put behind bars. They’re fed food, given shelter, and a community where they can boast about all the atrocities they’ve committed to others who are similarly minded to them. You say they’re rotting behind bars and justice has been served? You think they’ll come to regret what they did by doing so?
No. They won’t. They’ll simply laugh about it behind your back and act like they’re remorseful with some fake crocodile tears. They don’t care. What they’re regretting is that they were caught. Regretting they weren’t smart enough on how to get away with it. Not regretting the act itself.
If you want them to regret the act itself, let them suffer the same fate as their victim before they inevitably die. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to yourself. If someone shows they’ve changed after coming to understand what they did, then let them live. If they have not, then death is only fitting.
I took a deep breath in and held it in for a minute before I exhaled out slowly to calm myself down. I… shouldn’t lose myself in rage to the point that the only thing I think about is killing.
Really now… isn’t my line of thinking eerily similar to something else? Hell. Is that not a similar regime to what those sentenced to hell would experience? Is it because I’m a devil, my line of thinking headed toward that direction on its own?
But by subjecting those to what they’ve done to others, I’d become exactly what they are. I guess that was where trying to break an endless cycle of hatred came into play. It was a negative feedback loop.
But… if only one person had to suffer that fate… would I take it upon myself to be that person? I am a devil. It’s only fitting such a role lands upon my back.
Justice will prevail over evil.
That’s what we’re told.
But what if those who were evil were the ones feeding you that?
Then… they’d be shoving nothing but lies down your throat and laughing at how gullible you were behind your back.
Contemptible.
Truly… contemptible.
Justice prevailing over evil?
What a joke.
That’s wishful thinking.
In an ideal world, that might be the case.
However, we did not live in an ideal world.
The world was a cruel mistress who cared little for what we believed was justice. All creatures were treated equally regardless of what they did to others. In fact, those who were cruel and merciless were often rewarded for it by nature.
Only humans have lost their way.
I’m not saying there cannot be kindness in the world.
No, there should be.
But… as with everything in this world, there must be a balance of both worlds.
To be both kind and cruel.
That is a devil.
That is the true calling of a devil.
Devils are not the epitome of pure evil.
They are the balancing force.
But naturally, with all things, there exist devils who are too much of one thing as well.
A devil who only shows kindness.
A devil who only knows of cruelty.
I’m sure both ends of the spectrum exist.
What sort of devil am I?
Kindness or cruelty, pick your poison.
If asked to pick, I’d take both.
“Hey… Ran…”
I was brought back to reality when the girl in front of me raised her head up off my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and called out my name.
“What is it?”
“I… want to… do it.”
“Do it? Do what?”
“My first time. I... don’t want it to turn out that way. I’ll regret it if it does.”
“...”
“Please, Ran.”
“You’ll come to regret it if you do this.”
“I’d rather regret my first time being with a guy I don’t hate than regretting that I didn’t ever do it and end up in a position where my first time could become something as awful as that. For all I know, I might even die before I get a chance to do it for the first time. You never know when your life will end. It could be tomorrow, the day after that, maybe even a week from now.”
“You don’t need to worry, that nightmare will never come true and you’re not going to die any time soon either. You shouldn’t do this just because you’re comparing which you’d regret more. You should wait until you find that author you like so much and see if things work out with him. I’m sure you’d be happiest if your first time was with the person you really like.”
“I’m… fine with this being a regret. Just please... show me a pleasant dream... that wipes that terrible nightmare away from my mind forever. That’s all I want right now. Please. I’m… begging you. Save... me… from seeing that nightmare over… and over again… until it becomes forever engraved into my memories for eternity. I want to forget it.”
“You’re… really sure you want to do this?”
“Yes… I’m sure.”
“There’s no going back if you do.”
“Until we leave in the morning… just for tonight… let me be your girlfriend... until then... so I can have a nice dream.”
I moved my mouth beside her ear and whispered, “I refuse.”
“You’d… refuse me... even after saying all that?”
“No. What I’m saying is… it’s fine if you stay my girlfriend till the end of time. There’s no need for you to feel any guilt or heartache after this since you’ll always be my girlfriend from now on. Did you forget? Your soul is already mine. You can’t escape even if you want to. I won’t hand you over even to that author you like so much.”
“But… Rosa…”
“Forget Rosa for right now. For this instant in time, you’re the one who’s in front of me. It’s okay for you to be happy.”
“It’s… really okay?” Yuna’s lips quivered as those words leaked out.
“Yes. Because I’m a devil. A true devil. The only bad one here is me. I am an evil existence who grabs hold of the weaknesses in people’s hearts and exploits them for my own gain. You’re just a pitiful girl who fell into the hands of a devil and can no longer escape.”
