Chapter 299
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Chapter 299
As the sun rises on our second day in Nan Ping, I celebrate our accomplishments with a nice, long stretch in bed. Things are going better than expected; Baatar and Akanai are living it up in the Magistrates Palace, BoShui and Fung have made a name for themselves by defeating two famous young experts, and I have yet to encounter a single assassin. Things are going much better than I expected. I thought wed all be snubbed or met with outright hostility, but the young Legate seems to have things well in hand. When Han BoHai asked me to curry favour with the Royal Guard Captain and trash talk Central, I thought wed have to slaughter our way out of the restaurant, but everyone sat back down and finished their meals without so much as a dirty look.
For the first time ever, I experienced the true advantages of power and authority, and damn does it feel good. I can't wait to exert my authority all over Nan Ping.
Cuddling in bed with my goofiest of floofs Aurie, I smile as my fifteen baby bunnies go through their morning routine of running, hopping, and headbutting around the yurt like self-propelled pinballs. Growing larger with each passing day, my bicorn bunnies are almost old enough to differentiate by gender, which comes with a whole slew of problems Id rather not deal with. As proliferate as they are, Im probably gonna need to separate the boys and girls before they multiply exponentially and Im up to my eyeballs in rabbits. Honestly, Im a little surprised Aurie and Jimjam havent started sniffing around Sarankho. They might be siblings, but animals dont care about things like that. Im glad Banjo and Baloo are both boys, but their solitary, territorial nature is a whole other issue I'll need to deal with eventually. Then theres Roc and company, who are utterly fearless around humans and willing to peck, squawk, and steal to their hearts content. Eventually, some angry noble will hunt them down and grill them over a spit if I dont figure out a way to keep them safe.
Fine. I admit it. I have a pet hoarding problem, but its not the worst vice in the world. I just wish they'd stay young and cute forever.
After washing up, I make my way to the foot of my bed and come face to face with a comatose Mama Bun, flopped out on her side atop my clothes chest. Avoiding the messy, milk-stained trap which is her belly floof, I gently stroke her whiskers until she comes awake with a snort. After a languid stretch and jiggly, full-bodied shake, she hops off the chest to feed her babies, revealing the tiny black mass of fur which was previously hidden behind her. Still barely larger than my palm, Blackjack squeaks in alarm and leaps at me, unwilling to brave the chaos on the ground as fifteen bicorn bunnies jostle and shove for a place at the breakfast table.
Comforting him as he burrows beneath my hands, I unleash my loving Aura to soothe his nerves. Although slightly larger than the other bunnies, Blackjack weighs far less than his herbivore cousins and cant keep up with their rough and tumble ways. The first time I let him loose among the bunnies, he got bowled over and screamed bloody murder. The born predator and future ruler of the treetops had his foot broken by a common, thug of a bunny, which means head-banging, jump-kicking, bunny-play is out of the question. Traumatized by the incident, poor little Blackjack refuses to bond with the bunnies and will only nurse from Mama Bun after all the bunnies are done, like the runty patsy of the litter.
Needless to say, Taduk was not pleased by this brittle-boned, faint-hearted hare. Personally, I have a soft spot for downtrodden and after our unpleasant first encounter, weve now become the best of friends. Showering my hand with tiny licks, Blackjack seems determined to win my affection or is possibly reminiscing about how delicious I taste. Who knows. I hope he doesnt bully his cousins when he gets all swole and buff, or worse... eat them.
Snatching up a random bunny who already finished eating, I plop it down next to Blackjack and Aurie, hoping my big goof can keep the little bun in line so Blackjack can make a new friend. Finally free to get dressed, I pull out the fanciest outfit I own, a blue, satin-silk, high-collar shirt with white pearl buttons and white-fur trim and cuffs. A gift from Taduk, I wore it to Tong Da Hais Magisterial challenge and in my duel against DuGu Tian Yi. While it suffered a few nicks and tears, seamstress Cierna did a wonderful job patching it up, and while Ive never worn it again, I pull it out from time to time to admire the beautiful stitching. Three birds taking flight from a pond while a blossoming plum-tree sits in the background, its a stunning work of art made by a master who has reached the pinnacle of tailoring.
Or so I thought until yesterday.
My prized silk shirt is practically utilitarian compared to the getups worn by the nobles of Central. Bright tunics peek out from under elaborately embroidered, multi-coloured, wide-sleeved robes, lacking a single patch of unadorned silk as they tell intricate tales of wisdom and courage. Complex hats and hairstyles are all the rage as men and women alike boast a variety of head-gear and hair ornaments, everything from feathered headdresses, pom-pomed hairnets, tasselled crowns, and jewelled hair clips.
Its got me wondering if I should stick a handful of Rocs feathers in my hair so I can fit in. Better yet, I could train him to sit on my head like a living ornament. Get on my level Central, though the bird poop will probably ruin the whole effect. Wearing Banjo around like a back-pack is probably a better choice, but his claws will definitely tear the silk.
Jealous as I am of everyones magnificent and time-consuming outfits, I cant say the same for their heavy layers of makeup. I always figured opera actors wore exaggerated and outlandish makeup for effect, but every noble in Central looks ready to step on stage and sing their heart out. Painted white faces and red or black rouge around the eyes is the norm, though others go to much greater lengths to stand out. While individually, most people look downright ridiculous, when they gather in a group, they blend together into a pleasing composite of opposing imagery, like how a collage of dissimilar images and varying colours creates a different, overall impression when viewed from afar.
While the Legate wasnt quite so ostentatiously dressed, I felt extremely out of place arriving in travel-stained cotton clothes. As the Divine Turtles Attendant, I should try to look the part of heaven-blessed hero, or at least avoid looking like a common mercenary. Unfortunately, I dont know how to properly dress myself in my fancy shirt, pants, and sash, a far more complicated process than clothes have any right to be. Folding up my fancy threads, I pick out a more practical outfit, a brown, fitted, high-collared tunic and pants. I still look pretty fancy compared to my normal loose shirts and baggy pants, but without ornamental embroidery or expensive buttons, it lacks a certain flair.
Whatever, doesnt matter if Im wearing plain shirts with bone buttons, I still have my stunning amber eyes to dazzle the masses. Id like to see the nobles of Central try to copy those, because I look handsome and fabulous.
At least, thats what Lin tells me and I choose to believe her.
Rescuing Blackjack from the bullying bunnys attentions, I carry the trembling hare out the yurt while leaving the bunnies to their own devices. After feeding fifteen babies, Mama Buns gonna need an hour or two to rest and reload her milk-bags while her babies nap, which gives me enough time to eat and train unhindered. Luckily, Blackjack is old enough to nibble on dried jerky with Rocs flock, putting his little chubby cheeks hard to work atop Ping-Pings head. My terrapin stalker greets me with a beaky smile, though considering how massive her mouth is, its more than a little terrifying.
Good morning. Dug into a sleeping pit, Ping-Pings chin rests on the dirt, perfectly positioning her dark, forward-facing eyes to stare deep into mine. Ugly as she is, I only sense warmth and good-will emanating from her as she gently nudges me for a hug. Happily obliging, I whisper, Sorry sweetie, I know you want more water but you need to wait until tonight. Fewer eyes to spy upon my dealings, but her emphatic insistence makes me feel like a drug dealer. I still dont understand what she loves about the water, nor have any of my other animals shown any changes since I began feeding it to them. Either way, Ping-Ping gets super cranky if she doesnt get her daily fix and I dont want to deal with a turtle temper tantrum, especially not when said turtle can crush me underfoot.
Smiling, Ulfsaar nods and says, Burn the challenges.
... Wasnt that the plan to begin with?
No boss. Lightly poking me in the chest, Ulfsaar says, Burn them yourself at the duelling grounds and belittle your challengers. Then, find and defeat Centrals strongest for all to see. This will put an end to their games.
My people have far too much faith in my abilities. Ryo Geom-Chi and Tam Taewoong didnt seem too impressive, but they were both drunk and probably unused to fighting without their Spiritual Weapons, while Fung and BoShui have had months of practise without them. Most people forget that Spiritual Weapons are a large part of a warriors strength, as the Binding ritual makes it a part of you. At times, its like the weapon is guiding you along, teaching you the proper way to kill and fight. Using an unfamiliar weapon is like running in uncomfortable shoes or swimming fully clothed, a handicap which can easily throw you off. Besides, duelling isnt my strong suit, not when the fight ends at first blood. Most of my prowess comes from my ability to trade injuries and outlast my opponent.
In short, theres more to lose then there is to gain, so no dice. Lets keep that plan in our pocket, should we need it. No sense in ruffling anyones feathers unless we need to. Unperturbed by my refusal, Ulfsaar nods knowingly as if I have a master plan in mind. Crazy bastard probably thinks Im waiting on a bigger audience or more formidable foes or something.
After seeing Rustram, Dastan, and Ulfsaar out the yurt, I reward myself for completing my occupational obligations with a bunny cuddle session. Unleashing the full strength of my loving Aura, I lay down and giggle while a horde of bunnies hop, flop, and snuggle around me, all ecstatic to be in my presence. I can only target three at a time, but even after my Aura switches to a new target, the bunnies either still remember how it feels or are too dumb to notice its gone.
Whatever. This is pure bliss. Fluffy, cuddly, bunny bliss.
Everything comes to an abrupt end as Ping-Ping stands and makes her hunger known with a loud, adorable squeak. Reluctantly packing the bunnies into their saddlebag, I bring them out of the yurt to find a famished turtle impatiently waiting for me to follow. The big girl eats a lot but refuses to go hunting in the sea unless I wait by the beach. Its ridiculous, but what other options do I have? Lightening myself, I hop onto her back and enjoy the ride as she scurries towards the sandy beach, less than five minutes south of my yurt. Packed to the brim with Sentinels and quins, they all make way for Ping-Ping as she barrels towards them. Hopping off before she reaches the water, I wave goodbye as she heads out for lunch. Pausing before she submerges, Ping-Ping turns and cocks her head, as if asking why Im not coming along.
Ha, like hell Im going to swim out into kraken infested waters. Id rather starve. Go on without me! I yell, waving goodbye. Have fun. Im not sure if she understands what Im saying, but Ping-Ping snorts and heads out into the Azure Sea. Thankfully, the Legates fishing rules only applies to people so the giant turtle and our massive pack of roosequins are free to scour the Azure Sea clean of clams, mussels, fish, and whatever else they eat.
Better to take everything and leave nothing behind for the Enemy. If I had my way, Id burn all of Central and salt the earth in my wake, before going home to the North to hide behind our giant-ass walls.
...I wonder if I can train a quin to bring crabs back? Im not a huge fan of seafood, but last night, Li Song ordered this delicious, spicy, deep-fried crab which was to die for. Ping Ping usually takes around thirty minutes to eat, helped along by the pack of quins driving food towards her, so after she comes back, well head into town for lunch. While I feel bad for my retinue who are stuck outside the city, I cant bring myself to choke down another meal of dried meat and hard bread. Things got so bad, I even had a dream of eating Mama Bun, which is a big no-no since Guard Leader would kill me if...
...
Wheres Mama Bun?
Spotting a hairy white blob floating in the water, I choke on my spit and hand my saddlebag of bunnies to the closest Sentinel. Hold that, Ill be right back. Running into the water, I leap over the gentle waves until the waters deep enough to dive in, reaching the half-drowned Mama Bun in less than thirty seconds. Panicked and afraid, she bites and claws at my hands until I lift her clean out of the water, shocking her into stunned compliance. After giving her time to recuperate, I lower her gently to my chest and swim backwards to shore, consoling the poor, shivering, stupid bunny the entire time. Theres a good bun-bun, I say in my sweetest voice. Everythings gonna be all right. You must be the dumbest creature alive, yes you are. I have no idea how you survived this long. Why would you run out into the sea if you don't know how to swim?
Seriously dumb. How am I supposed to keep fifteen more of them alive? I guess I need harnesses. And help, lots of help. This is my life now. Falling Rain, Turtle Attendant and Rabbit Lifeguard.
Oh well. At least she got a bath. The rancid rabbit milk was really starting to stink.
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Chapter 299
As the sun rises on our second day in Nan Ping, I celebrate our accomplishments with a nice, long stretch in bed. Things are going better than expected; Baatar and Akanai are living it up in the Magistrates Palace, BoShui and Fung have made a name for themselves by defeating two famous young experts, and I have yet to encounter a single assassin. Things are going much better than I expected. I thought wed all be snubbed or met with outright hostility, but the young Legate seems to have things well in hand. When Han BoHai asked me to curry favour with the Royal Guard Captain and trash talk Central, I thought wed have to slaughter our way out of the restaurant, but everyone sat back down and finished their meals without so much as a dirty look.
For the first time ever, I experienced the true advantages of power and authority, and damn does it feel good. I can't wait to exert my authority all over Nan Ping.
Cuddling in bed with my goofiest of floofs Aurie, I smile as my fifteen baby bunnies go through their morning routine of running, hopping, and headbutting around the yurt like self-propelled pinballs. Growing larger with each passing day, my bicorn bunnies are almost old enough to differentiate by gender, which comes with a whole slew of problems Id rather not deal with. As proliferate as they are, Im probably gonna need to separate the boys and girls before they multiply exponentially and Im up to my eyeballs in rabbits. Honestly, Im a little surprised Aurie and Jimjam havent started sniffing around Sarankho. They might be siblings, but animals dont care about things like that. Im glad Banjo and Baloo are both boys, but their solitary, territorial nature is a whole other issue I'll need to deal with eventually. Then theres Roc and company, who are utterly fearless around humans and willing to peck, squawk, and steal to their hearts content. Eventually, some angry noble will hunt them down and grill them over a spit if I dont figure out a way to keep them safe.
Fine. I admit it. I have a pet hoarding problem, but its not the worst vice in the world. I just wish they'd stay young and cute forever.
After washing up, I make my way to the foot of my bed and come face to face with a comatose Mama Bun, flopped out on her side atop my clothes chest. Avoiding the messy, milk-stained trap which is her belly floof, I gently stroke her whiskers until she comes awake with a snort. After a languid stretch and jiggly, full-bodied shake, she hops off the chest to feed her babies, revealing the tiny black mass of fur which was previously hidden behind her. Still barely larger than my palm, Blackjack squeaks in alarm and leaps at me, unwilling to brave the chaos on the ground as fifteen bicorn bunnies jostle and shove for a place at the breakfast table.
Comforting him as he burrows beneath my hands, I unleash my loving Aura to soothe his nerves. Although slightly larger than the other bunnies, Blackjack weighs far less than his herbivore cousins and cant keep up with their rough and tumble ways. The first time I let him loose among the bunnies, he got bowled over and screamed bloody murder. The born predator and future ruler of the treetops had his foot broken by a common, thug of a bunny, which means head-banging, jump-kicking, bunny-play is out of the question. Traumatized by the incident, poor little Blackjack refuses to bond with the bunnies and will only nurse from Mama Bun after all the bunnies are done, like the runty patsy of the litter.
Needless to say, Taduk was not pleased by this brittle-boned, faint-hearted hare. Personally, I have a soft spot for downtrodden and after our unpleasant first encounter, weve now become the best of friends. Showering my hand with tiny licks, Blackjack seems determined to win my affection or is possibly reminiscing about how delicious I taste. Who knows. I hope he doesnt bully his cousins when he gets all swole and buff, or worse... eat them.
Snatching up a random bunny who already finished eating, I plop it down next to Blackjack and Aurie, hoping my big goof can keep the little bun in line so Blackjack can make a new friend. Finally free to get dressed, I pull out the fanciest outfit I own, a blue, satin-silk, high-collar shirt with white pearl buttons and white-fur trim and cuffs. A gift from Taduk, I wore it to Tong Da Hais Magisterial challenge and in my duel against DuGu Tian Yi. While it suffered a few nicks and tears, seamstress Cierna did a wonderful job patching it up, and while Ive never worn it again, I pull it out from time to time to admire the beautiful stitching. Three birds taking flight from a pond while a blossoming plum-tree sits in the background, its a stunning work of art made by a master who has reached the pinnacle of tailoring.
Or so I thought until yesterday.
My prized silk shirt is practically utilitarian compared to the getups worn by the nobles of Central. Bright tunics peek out from under elaborately embroidered, multi-coloured, wide-sleeved robes, lacking a single patch of unadorned silk as they tell intricate tales of wisdom and courage. Complex hats and hairstyles are all the rage as men and women alike boast a variety of head-gear and hair ornaments, everything from feathered headdresses, pom-pomed hairnets, tasselled crowns, and jewelled hair clips.
Its got me wondering if I should stick a handful of Rocs feathers in my hair so I can fit in. Better yet, I could train him to sit on my head like a living ornament. Get on my level Central, though the bird poop will probably ruin the whole effect. Wearing Banjo around like a back-pack is probably a better choice, but his claws will definitely tear the silk.
Jealous as I am of everyones magnificent and time-consuming outfits, I cant say the same for their heavy layers of makeup. I always figured opera actors wore exaggerated and outlandish makeup for effect, but every noble in Central looks ready to step on stage and sing their heart out. Painted white faces and red or black rouge around the eyes is the norm, though others go to much greater lengths to stand out. While individually, most people look downright ridiculous, when they gather in a group, they blend together into a pleasing composite of opposing imagery, like how a collage of dissimilar images and varying colours creates a different, overall impression when viewed from afar.
While the Legate wasnt quite so ostentatiously dressed, I felt extremely out of place arriving in travel-stained cotton clothes. As the Divine Turtles Attendant, I should try to look the part of heaven-blessed hero, or at least avoid looking like a common mercenary. Unfortunately, I dont know how to properly dress myself in my fancy shirt, pants, and sash, a far more complicated process than clothes have any right to be. Folding up my fancy threads, I pick out a more practical outfit, a brown, fitted, high-collared tunic and pants. I still look pretty fancy compared to my normal loose shirts and baggy pants, but without ornamental embroidery or expensive buttons, it lacks a certain flair.
Whatever, doesnt matter if Im wearing plain shirts with bone buttons, I still have my stunning amber eyes to dazzle the masses. Id like to see the nobles of Central try to copy those, because I look handsome and fabulous.
At least, thats what Lin tells me and I choose to believe her.
Rescuing Blackjack from the bullying bunnys attentions, I carry the trembling hare out the yurt while leaving the bunnies to their own devices. After feeding fifteen babies, Mama Buns gonna need an hour or two to rest and reload her milk-bags while her babies nap, which gives me enough time to eat and train unhindered. Luckily, Blackjack is old enough to nibble on dried jerky with Rocs flock, putting his little chubby cheeks hard to work atop Ping-Pings head. My terrapin stalker greets me with a beaky smile, though considering how massive her mouth is, its more than a little terrifying.
Good morning. Dug into a sleeping pit, Ping-Pings chin rests on the dirt, perfectly positioning her dark, forward-facing eyes to stare deep into mine. Ugly as she is, I only sense warmth and good-will emanating from her as she gently nudges me for a hug. Happily obliging, I whisper, Sorry sweetie, I know you want more water but you need to wait until tonight. Fewer eyes to spy upon my dealings, but her emphatic insistence makes me feel like a drug dealer. I still dont understand what she loves about the water, nor have any of my other animals shown any changes since I began feeding it to them. Either way, Ping-Ping gets super cranky if she doesnt get her daily fix and I dont want to deal with a turtle temper tantrum, especially not when said turtle can crush me underfoot.
Smiling, Ulfsaar nods and says, Burn the challenges.
... Wasnt that the plan to begin with?
No boss. Lightly poking me in the chest, Ulfsaar says, Burn them yourself at the duelling grounds and belittle your challengers. Then, find and defeat Centrals strongest for all to see. This will put an end to their games.
My people have far too much faith in my abilities. Ryo Geom-Chi and Tam Taewoong didnt seem too impressive, but they were both drunk and probably unused to fighting without their Spiritual Weapons, while Fung and BoShui have had months of practise without them. Most people forget that Spiritual Weapons are a large part of a warriors strength, as the Binding ritual makes it a part of you. At times, its like the weapon is guiding you along, teaching you the proper way to kill and fight. Using an unfamiliar weapon is like running in uncomfortable shoes or swimming fully clothed, a handicap which can easily throw you off. Besides, duelling isnt my strong suit, not when the fight ends at first blood. Most of my prowess comes from my ability to trade injuries and outlast my opponent.
In short, theres more to lose then there is to gain, so no dice. Lets keep that plan in our pocket, should we need it. No sense in ruffling anyones feathers unless we need to. Unperturbed by my refusal, Ulfsaar nods knowingly as if I have a master plan in mind. Crazy bastard probably thinks Im waiting on a bigger audience or more formidable foes or something.
After seeing Rustram, Dastan, and Ulfsaar out the yurt, I reward myself for completing my occupational obligations with a bunny cuddle session. Unleashing the full strength of my loving Aura, I lay down and giggle while a horde of bunnies hop, flop, and snuggle around me, all ecstatic to be in my presence. I can only target three at a time, but even after my Aura switches to a new target, the bunnies either still remember how it feels or are too dumb to notice its gone.
Whatever. This is pure bliss. Fluffy, cuddly, bunny bliss.
Everything comes to an abrupt end as Ping-Ping stands and makes her hunger known with a loud, adorable squeak. Reluctantly packing the bunnies into their saddlebag, I bring them out of the yurt to find a famished turtle impatiently waiting for me to follow. The big girl eats a lot but refuses to go hunting in the sea unless I wait by the beach. Its ridiculous, but what other options do I have? Lightening myself, I hop onto her back and enjoy the ride as she scurries towards the sandy beach, less than five minutes south of my yurt. Packed to the brim with Sentinels and quins, they all make way for Ping-Ping as she barrels towards them. Hopping off before she reaches the water, I wave goodbye as she heads out for lunch. Pausing before she submerges, Ping-Ping turns and cocks her head, as if asking why Im not coming along.
Ha, like hell Im going to swim out into kraken infested waters. Id rather starve. Go on without me! I yell, waving goodbye. Have fun. Im not sure if she understands what Im saying, but Ping-Ping snorts and heads out into the Azure Sea. Thankfully, the Legates fishing rules only applies to people so the giant turtle and our massive pack of roosequins are free to scour the Azure Sea clean of clams, mussels, fish, and whatever else they eat.
Better to take everything and leave nothing behind for the Enemy. If I had my way, Id burn all of Central and salt the earth in my wake, before going home to the North to hide behind our giant-ass walls.
...I wonder if I can train a quin to bring crabs back? Im not a huge fan of seafood, but last night, Li Song ordered this delicious, spicy, deep-fried crab which was to die for. Ping Ping usually takes around thirty minutes to eat, helped along by the pack of quins driving food towards her, so after she comes back, well head into town for lunch. While I feel bad for my retinue who are stuck outside the city, I cant bring myself to choke down another meal of dried meat and hard bread. Things got so bad, I even had a dream of eating Mama Bun, which is a big no-no since Guard Leader would kill me if...
...
Wheres Mama Bun?
Spotting a hairy white blob floating in the water, I choke on my spit and hand my saddlebag of bunnies to the closest Sentinel. Hold that, Ill be right back. Running into the water, I leap over the gentle waves until the waters deep enough to dive in, reaching the half-drowned Mama Bun in less than thirty seconds. Panicked and afraid, she bites and claws at my hands until I lift her clean out of the water, shocking her into stunned compliance. After giving her time to recuperate, I lower her gently to my chest and swim backwards to shore, consoling the poor, shivering, stupid bunny the entire time. Theres a good bun-bun, I say in my sweetest voice. Everythings gonna be all right. You must be the dumbest creature alive, yes you are. I have no idea how you survived this long. Why would you run out into the sea if you don't know how to swim?
Seriously dumb. How am I supposed to keep fifteen more of them alive? I guess I need harnesses. And help, lots of help. This is my life now. Falling Rain, Turtle Attendant and Rabbit Lifeguard.
Oh well. At least she got a bath. The rancid rabbit milk was really starting to stink.
Chapter MemeRead latest chapters at nov(e)lbin.com Only
Chapter 299As the sun rises on our second day in Nan Ping, I celebrate our accomplishments with a nice, long stretch in bed. Things are going better than expected; Baatar and Akanai are living it up in the Magistrates Palace, BoShui and Fung have made a name for themselves by defeating two famous young experts, and I have yet to encounter a single assassin. Things are going much better than I expected. I thought wed all be snubbed or met with outright hostility, but the young Legate seems to have things well in hand. When Han BoHai asked me to curry favour with the Royal Guard Captain and trash talk Central, I thought wed have to slaughter our way out of the restaurant, but everyone sat back down and finished their meals without so much as a dirty look.For the first time ever, I experienced the true advantages of power and authority, and damn does it feel good. I can't wait to exert my authority all over Nan Ping.Cuddling in bed with my goofiest of floofs Aurie, I smile as my fifteen baby bunnies go through their morning routine of running, hopping, and headbutting around the yurt like self-propelled pinballs. Growing larger with each passing day, my bicorn bunnies are almost old enough to differentiate by gender, which comes with a whole slew of problems Id rather not deal with. As proliferate as they are, Im probably gonna need to separate the boys and girls before they multiply exponentially and Im up to my eyeballs in rabbits. Honestly, Im a little surprised Aurie and Jimjam havent started sniffing around Sarankho. They might be siblings, but animals dont care about things like that. Im glad Banjo and Baloo are both boys, but their solitary, territorial nature is a whole other issue I'll need to deal with eventually. Then theres Roc and company, who are utterly fearless around humans and willing to peck, squawk, and steal to their hearts content. Eventually, some angry noble will hunt them down and grill them over a spit if I dont figure out a way to keep them safe.Fine. I admit it. I have a pet hoarding problem, but its not the worst vice in the world. I just wish they'd stay young and cute forever.After washing up, I make my way to the foot of my bed and come face to face with a comatose Mama Bun, flopped out on her side atop my clothes chest. Avoiding the messy, milk-stained trap which is her belly floof, I gently stroke her whiskers until she comes awake with a snort. After a languid stretch and jiggly, full-bodied shake, she hops off the chest to feed her babies, revealing the tiny black mass of fur which was previously hidden behind her. Still barely larger than my palm, Blackjack squeaks in alarm and leaps at me, unwilling to brave the chaos on the ground as fifteen bicorn bunnies jostle and shove for a place at the breakfast table.Comforting him as he burrows beneath my hands, I unleash my loving Aura to soothe his nerves. Although slightly larger than the other bunnies, Blackjack weighs far less than his herbivore cousins and cant keep up with their rough and tumble ways. The first time I let him loose among the bunnies, he got bowled over and screamed bloody murder. The born predator and future ruler of the treetops had his foot broken by a common, thug of a bunny, which means head-banging, jump-kicking, bunny-play is out of the question. Traumatized by the incident, poor little Blackjack refuses to bond with the bunnies and will only nurse from Mama Bun after all the bunnies are done, like the runty patsy of the litter.Needless to say, Taduk was not pleased by this brittle-boned, faint-hearted hare. Personally, I have a soft spot for downtrodden and after our unpleasant first encounter, weve now become the best of friends. Showering my hand with tiny licks, Blackjack seems determined to win my affection or is possibly reminiscing about how delicious I taste. Who knows. I hope he doesnt bully his cousins when he gets all swole and buff, or worse... eat them.Snatching up a random bunny who already finished eating, I plop it down next to Blackjack and Aurie, hoping my big goof can keep the little bun in line so Blackjack can make a new friend. Finally free to get dressed, I pull out the fanciest outfit I own, a blue, satin-silk, high-collar shirt with white pearl buttons and white-fur trim and cuffs. A gift from Taduk, I wore it to Tong Da Hais Magisterial challenge and in my duel against DuGu Tian Yi. While it suffered a few nicks and tears, seamstress Cierna did a wonderful job patching it up, and while Ive never worn it again, I pull it out from time to time to admire the beautiful stitching. Three birds taking flight from a pond while a blossoming plum-tree sits in the background, its a stunning work of art made by a master who has reached the pinnacle of tailoring.Or so I thought until yesterday.My prized silk shirt is practically utilitarian compared to the getups worn by the nobles of Central. Bright tunics peek out from under elaborately embroidered, multi-coloured, wide-sleeved robes, lacking a single patch of unadorned silk as they tell intricate tales of wisdom and courage. Complex hats and hairstyles are all the rage as men and women alike boast a variety of head-gear and hair ornaments, everything from feathered headdresses, pom-pomed hairnets, tasselled crowns, and jewelled hair clips.Its got me wondering if I should stick a handful of Rocs feathers in my hair so I can fit in. Better yet, I could train him to sit on my head like a living ornament. Get on my level Central, though the bird poop will probably ruin the whole effect. Wearing Banjo around like a back-pack is probably a better choice, but his claws will definitely tear the silk.Jealous as I am of everyones magnificent and time-consuming outfits, I cant say the same for their heavy layers of makeup. I always figured opera actors wore exaggerated and outlandish makeup for effect, but every noble in Central looks ready to step on stage and sing their heart out. Painted white faces and red or black rouge around the eyes is the norm, though others go to much greater lengths to stand out. While individually, most people look downright ridiculous, when they gather in a group, they blend together into a pleasing composite of opposing imagery, like how a collage of dissimilar images and varying colours creates a different, overall impression when viewed from afar.While the Legate wasnt quite so ostentatiously dressed, I felt extremely out of place arriving in travel-stained cotton clothes. As the Divine Turtles Attendant, I should try to look the part of heaven-blessed hero, or at least avoid looking like a common mercenary. Unfortunately, I dont know how to properly dress myself in my fancy shirt, pants, and sash, a far more complicated process than clothes have any right to be. Folding up my fancy threads, I pick out a more practical outfit, a brown, fitted, high-collared tunic and pants. I still look pretty fancy compared to my normal loose shirts and baggy pants, but without ornamental embroidery or expensive buttons, it lacks a certain flair.Whatever, doesnt matter if Im wearing plain shirts with bone buttons, I still have my stunning amber eyes to dazzle the masses. Id like to see the nobles of Central try to copy those, because I look handsome and fabulous.At least, thats what Lin tells me and I choose to believe her.Rescuing Blackjack from the bullying bunnys attentions, I carry the trembling hare out the yurt while leaving the bunnies to their own devices. After feeding fifteen babies, Mama Buns gonna need an hour or two to rest and reload her milk-bags while her babies nap, which gives me enough time to eat and train unhindered. Luckily, Blackjack is old enough to nibble on dried jerky with Rocs flock, putting his little chubby cheeks hard to work atop Ping-Pings head. My terrapin stalker greets me with a beaky smile, though considering how massive her mouth is, its more than a little terrifying.Good morning. Dug into a sleeping pit, Ping-Pings chin rests on the dirt, perfectly positioning her dark, forward-facing eyes to stare deep into mine. Ugly as she is, I only sense warmth and good-will emanating from her as she gently nudges me for a hug. Happily obliging, I whisper, Sorry sweetie, I know you want more water but you need to wait until tonight. Fewer eyes to spy upon my dealings, but her emphatic insistence makes me feel like a drug dealer. I still dont understand what she loves about the water, nor have any of my other animals shown any changes since I began feeding it to them. Either way, Ping-Ping gets super cranky if she doesnt get her daily fix and I dont want to deal with a turtle temper tantrum, especially not when said turtle can crush me underfoot.Smiling, Ulfsaar nods and says, Burn the challenges.... Wasnt that the plan to begin with?No boss. Lightly poking me in the chest, Ulfsaar says, Burn them yourself at the duelling grounds and belittle your challengers. Then, find and defeat Centrals strongest for all to see. This will put an end to their games.My people have far too much faith in my abilities. Ryo Geom-Chi and Tam Taewoong didnt seem too impressive, but they were both drunk and probably unused to fighting without their Spiritual Weapons, while Fung and BoShui have had months of practise without them. Most people forget that Spiritual Weapons are a large part of a warriors strength, as the Binding ritual makes it a part of you. At times, its like the weapon is guiding you along, teaching you the proper way to kill and fight. Using an unfamiliar weapon is like running in uncomfortable shoes or swimming fully clothed, a handicap which can easily throw you off. Besides, duelling isnt my strong suit, not when the fight ends at first blood. Most of my prowess comes from my ability to trade injuries and outlast my opponent.In short, theres more to lose then there is to gain, so no dice. Lets keep that plan in our pocket, should we need it. No sense in ruffling anyones feathers unless we need to. Unperturbed by my refusal, Ulfsaar nods knowingly as if I have a master plan in mind. Crazy bastard probably thinks Im waiting on a bigger audience or more formidable foes or something.After seeing Rustram, Dastan, and Ulfsaar out the yurt, I reward myself for completing my occupational obligations with a bunny cuddle session. Unleashing the full strength of my loving Aura, I lay down and giggle while a horde of bunnies hop, flop, and snuggle around me, all ecstatic to be in my presence. I can only target three at a time, but even after my Aura switches to a new target, the bunnies either still remember how it feels or are too dumb to notice its gone.Whatever. This is pure bliss. Fluffy, cuddly, bunny bliss.Everything comes to an abrupt end as Ping-Ping stands and makes her hunger known with a loud, adorable squeak. Reluctantly packing the bunnies into their saddlebag, I bring them out of the yurt to find a famished turtle impatiently waiting for me to follow. The big girl eats a lot but refuses to go hunting in the sea unless I wait by the beach. Its ridiculous, but what other options do I have? Lightening myself, I hop onto her back and enjoy the ride as she scurries towards the sandy beach, less than five minutes south of my yurt. Packed to the brim with Sentinels and quins, they all make way for Ping-Ping as she barrels towards them. Hopping off before she reaches the water, I wave goodbye as she heads out for lunch. Pausing before she submerges, Ping-Ping turns and cocks her head, as if asking why Im not coming along.Ha, like hell Im going to swim out into kraken infested waters. Id rather starve. Go on without me! I yell, waving goodbye. Have fun. Im not sure if she understands what Im saying, but Ping-Ping snorts and heads out into the Azure Sea. Thankfully, the Legates fishing rules only applies to people so the giant turtle and our massive pack of roosequins are free to scour the Azure Sea clean of clams, mussels, fish, and whatever else they eat.Better to take everything and leave nothing behind for the Enemy. If I had my way, Id burn all of Central and salt the earth in my wake, before going home to the North to hide behind our giant-ass walls....I wonder if I can train a quin to bring crabs back? Im not a huge fan of seafood, but last night, Li Song ordered this delicious, spicy, deep-fried crab which was to die for. Ping Ping usually takes around thirty minutes to eat, helped along by the pack of quins driving food towards her, so after she comes back, well head into town for lunch. While I feel bad for my retinue who are stuck outside the city, I cant bring myself to choke down another meal of dried meat and hard bread. Things got so bad, I even had a dream of eating Mama Bun, which is a big no-no since Guard Leader would kill me if......Wheres Mama Bun?Spotting a hairy white blob floating in the water, I choke on my spit and hand my saddlebag of bunnies to the closest Sentinel. Hold that, Ill be right back. Running into the water, I leap over the gentle waves until the waters deep enough to dive in, reaching the half-drowned Mama Bun in less than thirty seconds. Panicked and afraid, she bites and claws at my hands until I lift her clean out of the water, shocking her into stunned compliance. After giving her time to recuperate, I lower her gently to my chest and swim backwards to shore, consoling the poor, shivering, stupid bunny the entire time. Theres a good bun-bun, I say in my sweetest voice. Everythings gonna be all right. You must be the dumbest creature alive, yes you are. I have no idea how you survived this long. Why would you run out into the sea if you don't know how to swim?Seriously dumb. How am I supposed to keep fifteen more of them alive? I guess I need harnesses. And help, lots of help. This is my life now. Falling Rain, Turtle Attendant and Rabbit Lifeguard.Oh well. At least she got a bath. The rancid rabbit milk was really starting to stink.Chapter MemeRead latest chapters at novelbin.com Only
