Chapter 323
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Chapter 323
Upon arriving back on shore in Ping Pings embrace, Baledaghs celebratory mood came to an abrupt end when he noticed Mei Lin and Sumila waiting in ambush. With Li Song, the wildcats, and a horde of bunnies hopping about as reinforcements, Baledagh had no choice but to feign a smile and wave while wracking his brain for something Brother would say, something both heartfelt and sincere, perhaps even a little teasing or witty.
Between the nervous sweating, rapid heart palpitations, and limited time frame, the best he could come up with was, Hello.
Hi hubby. Taking his awkward, over-enunciated greeting in stride, Mei Lin skipped to his side with a smile. Ignoring his dripping wet body, she commandeered his arm and clutched it tight against her chest in greeting. While not the largest of breasts by any measure, Mei Lin had grown quite a bit since Baledagh first laid eyes on her, a lovely young woman whose girlish figure had plumped up nicely in all the right places. As much as he appreciated noticing these changes, the pleasing, soft sensation pressed against his arm made his cheeks burn hot with hunger and shame. Mei Lin was Brothers betrothed, not Baledaghs, so he shouldnt be taking advantage like this.
At least the monk wasnt here to ruin everything with one of his lectures. Maybe the fat bastard had finally given up and left...
Gingerly extracting his arm, Baledagh patted Mei Lins head like Brother always did and ignored her wide-eyed pout. Moving on to the next problem, he faced down Sumilas challenging stare as it bored deep into his skull. Is something wrong? he asked, doing his best not to shrink away. Although she only rarely took part in their sparring matches, Baledagh was all too aware of how frightening this formidable, freckled firebrand could be. There was no mercy in her; In fact, as his betrothed, she treated Baledagh much more harshly than any of the others, giving him a savage beating every time they stepped on stage.
To make matters worse, Sumilas superior performance always sparked Zians competitive nature, earning Baledagh a second savage beating from the uppity nobleman. Baledagh was confident he would one day repay that snobby bastard in full, but he harboured no such hopes when faced with Sumilas overwhelming supremacy.
Her snort alone was enough to send a chill down Baledaghs spine. What makes you think somethings wrong? Why cant your betrothed come meet you after a long day of training? Dressed in a baggy borrowed tunic, Sumila stood with hand on hip and the other curled into a fist as if ready to punch Baledagh in the mouth, which was sadly, fairly normal behaviour. What wasnt normal was how she kept trading expressive glances with Mei Lin, and when their silent yet lengthy debate concluded, Sumila copied Mei Lins actions using Baledaghs other arm. I missed you, she muttered, refusing to look him in the eye.
Oh how wonderful. No, not wonderful, terrible. These were Brothers betrotheds and this was wrong. But it felt so right. Though Sumilas borrowed outfit made her look broad-shouldered and undefined, the truth was anything but. Her supple, athletic form was pleasing to the touch, tough yet pliant with surprising... volume, and Baledagh lost himself in the sensations for a breath of time. Coming back to his senses, his attempts to free his arm ended in abject failure as Sumilas firm and unyielding grip was too strong for him to oppose. As her loose tunic slipped to reveal a pale, freckled shoulder, Baledagh trembled with fear or desire. After clearing his throat several times, he finally mustered up enough saliva to whisper, Er... I missed you too. Very much, but uh... this isnt proper... Heart skipping a beat at Sumilas ferocious scowl, he amended what he was about to say. ...How about we hold hands?
It seemed like an acceptable compromise. Despite Brothers insistence to the contrary, there was nothing inappropriate or lewd about holding hands.
Thankfully, Sumila happily conceded to Baledaghs point and interlaced her fingers with his own. Feeling a silly smile stretching over his face, he offered his free hand to Mei Lin who did the same. So odd for such a simple thing like holding hands to bring so much joy, but there was an affectionate intimacy which came with it, an implicit trust and interdependence. Sumilas grip was snug and solid, their forearms pressed together and her shoulder brushing against his, striking a careful balance between supportive and dependant. On the other hand, Mei Lin held only two of his fingers in her loose, light grip, swinging their arms back and forth as she skipped along in child-like glee and asked, How was your swim?
Productive, he answered, smile widening until his cheeks strained with effort. I figured out how to turn Chi into water... in a manner of speaking. Careful not to overstate his accomplishment, he narrated his afternoon for both girls and swelled with pride as he basked in their praise. This was fine, if Baledaghs failures were Brothers to bear, then it made sense to also share his accomplishments too. Besides, even if he wasnt the one to figure it out, once Brother came back and practised a little, hed overtake Baledagh in the blink of an eye.
Settling down by the fire with Brothers betrotheds, Baledagh froze up when Tali ran over to join in the fun, plopping herself down on his lap without warning. Thankfully, Tate preferred cuddling with Li Song so Baledagh only had the one child to deal with. Favouring him with a most precious smile, Tali snuggled back against his chest, looked up, and said, Hi Rainy.
Most days, Baledagh wanted nothing to do with the children, noisy, messy, capricious little creatures that they were, but today, things were different. Overwhelmed with emotion, he wrapped his arms around the tiny, precious half-goat and hugged her tight, still holding firm to Mei Lin and Sumilas hands and drawing them in a little closer. Hello sweetling, he said, kissing the top of her head out of reflex. How was your day?
It was so much fun Rainy, you should have come with. Great-granma brought us into the city with Lin-Lin, and Mi-Mi, and Li-Li, and...
Talis storytelling was hardly riveting, but Baledagh listened to the entire thing, nodding along and asking questions like Brother would. He didnt even have to pretend to be interested, he really wanted to hear about all the fun things Tali did and how she saw the world, smiling at her fanciful descriptions of the most mundane things. Tate soon joined in and Baledagh marvelled at how they found excitement from the tiniest things, from paper lanterns with fanciful drawings to luxurious boats with elaborate decorations. He couldnt remember a time when hed been the same, only bits and pieces of a life before the mines. Wandering through the darkness mostly, cold and scared, hungry and tired. Had there been someone with him? Someone to love him like Brother loved Tate and Tali? Someone whose hand he could hold or arms he could rest in?
Baledagh wasnt sure, but in his heart, he felt like the answer was probably no.
This realization tainted the happiness from this moment and all the contented smiles and congratulatory pats in the world couldnt fix his dour mood. While he couldnt deny he wanted all this for himself, this was Brothers life and their love and support was meant for him. Baledagh was an aberration, a second mind trapped in a life not his own and no amount of pretending would make it otherwise. So distracted by his musings, Baledagh accidentally dropped his bowl of noodles and burnt his hands in scalding hot soup trying to catch it. Hissing with pain, he blew on his hands and shook his head, anxiously making sure no one else was hurt before feigning yet another smile to placate Brothers happy little family.
What was Baledagh doing here? Blobby should have eaten him and left Brother behind, then all their problems wouldve been solved...
Once dinner ended, Baledagh pleaded exhaustion and headed back to his yurt, escorted by Sumila, Mei Lin, Mama Bun, and Ping Ping. While Ping Ping settled into the dirt, Mei Lin joined Mama Bun to inspect the bunnies and left Baledagh alone with Sumila. Rubbing her cheek against his shoulder, she Sent, You know... you still havent asked about your Spiritual Weapon...
Oh no. Sorry, he Sent. With the Awakening and everything else going on, it slipped my mind. Even without seeing her face, he knew hed said the wrong thing, heart dropping as she deflated beside him. Tell me about it?
Hmph. I left it with Papa so you can go find out yourself. Releasing her grip, she huffed and crossed her arms in displeasure, muttering unpleasant things beneath her breath. She was so moody and capricious, violent and demanding, Baledagh couldnt understand what Brother saw in this temperamental nag.
So why did seeing her distraught make his heart ache?
Keeping silent until Mei Lin was done, Baledagh watched them walk away and enter Li Songs yurt just across the way. Belatedly noticing Banjo and Baloo had gone with them, he chuckled beneath his breath at the hare-girls persistence. The mischievous girl even kept Aurie with her, leaving Baledagh to spend the night alone in his yurt or under the stars with Ping Ping and the bunnies. No matter, he could survive a night without his cuddly bears, overly affectionate wildcat, and without the new Spiritual Weapon too. Best to leave it for Brother to bind, and if he needed an excuse, he could say he needed to sleep before meeting with the Legate in front of the Empires highest ranked officials and soldiers.
Oh Mother above, what was he going to do about that meeting?Read latest chapters at nov(e)lbin.com Only
...One?
No.
Sucking in a lungful of air, the monk exhaled in defeat. Well, he said, getting up to leave, Guess well keep doing what were doing then. I Send and you glare. Oh, and sorry about your nose. Next time you try to kill me, Ill be more careful not to hurt you.
Wait... Another day of lectures would leave Baledagh frothing at the mouth. Fine... one hour. Leaning back to rest on one elbow, Baledagh yawned and said, Well?
Donning his air of holy grandiosity, the monk sat up straight and crossed his legs. This one has spoken of much these past days. Does Junior Brother have any questions?
Well... technically, this was Baledaghs idea, so it seemed fair for him to start. Why are you called the Penitent Brotherhood?
Because we are all sinners with much to atone for.
Waiting for the monk to elaborate, Baledagh soon realized that was all he would get. Okay... Well, you go on a lot about the four desires and three truths. Whats that all about?
The Three Desires and Four Noble Truths are the keys to escaping this cycle of Samsara. First you must forsake the Three Desires, which are the craving for sensual pleasures, existence, and non-existence. Then-
Stop. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Baledagh tried to wrap his mind around the concept. Sensual pleasure I understand, but what about existence and non-existence? How is anyone supposed to forsake the desire to exist and not exist at the same time?
To crave existence is to seek self-identity. Permanence in fame, glory, legacy, or even form. Eternity is not meant for us humble mortals, which we all must come to accept. With his head up and eyes half-lidded, the monk almost looked the part of divine messenger, with no sign of the surly, cursing, ready-to-get-drunk monk from before. To crave non-existence is to avoid unpleasantness. Drinking to dull a broken heart, closing your eyes to anothers suffering, or ending your life to escape your pain, all are forms of non-existence. The Three Desires are at the root of all our worldly suffering, and only by letting them go can we end it.
So no sex, fame, or alcohol.
More than that. Sensual pleasure is not merely sex, but to abstain from all manner of sensory pleasures. Whether it be sex, wealth, power-
Food?
Choking on a cough, the monk opened his eyes and glared at Baledagh before chuckling in agreement. Indeed, this one is far from perfect, but we all have our failings, Junior Brother. Its rude to point fingers.
Okay... Hoping to hurry the discussion along, Baledagh asked, So you forsake these desires and accept your truths, all so you can... do what exactly?
Escape the cycle of Samsara.
And that is...? It took every scrap of willpower Baledagh had not to yawn. Mother above, if everything the monk had to say was this boring, then he might not last the entire hour.
Reincarnation. Seeing Baledagh sit up with interest, the monk added, Of course, that is a simplified way of describing things. There are many more nuanced-
No, thats fine. Taking a proper seat at the table, Baledagh asked, Tell me about reincarnation.
If the monk had information which could help find Brother, then maybe this whole farce wasnt a complete waste of time.
Maybe.
Probably not.
Chapter Meme
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Chapter 323
Upon arriving back on shore in Ping Pings embrace, Baledaghs celebratory mood came to an abrupt end when he noticed Mei Lin and Sumila waiting in ambush. With Li Song, the wildcats, and a horde of bunnies hopping about as reinforcements, Baledagh had no choice but to feign a smile and wave while wracking his brain for something Brother would say, something both heartfelt and sincere, perhaps even a little teasing or witty.
Between the nervous sweating, rapid heart palpitations, and limited time frame, the best he could come up with was, Hello.
Hi hubby. Taking his awkward, over-enunciated greeting in stride, Mei Lin skipped to his side with a smile. Ignoring his dripping wet body, she commandeered his arm and clutched it tight against her chest in greeting. While not the largest of breasts by any measure, Mei Lin had grown quite a bit since Baledagh first laid eyes on her, a lovely young woman whose girlish figure had plumped up nicely in all the right places. As much as he appreciated noticing these changes, the pleasing, soft sensation pressed against his arm made his cheeks burn hot with hunger and shame. Mei Lin was Brothers betrothed, not Baledaghs, so he shouldnt be taking advantage like this.
At least the monk wasnt here to ruin everything with one of his lectures. Maybe the fat bastard had finally given up and left...
Gingerly extracting his arm, Baledagh patted Mei Lins head like Brother always did and ignored her wide-eyed pout. Moving on to the next problem, he faced down Sumilas challenging stare as it bored deep into his skull. Is something wrong? he asked, doing his best not to shrink away. Although she only rarely took part in their sparring matches, Baledagh was all too aware of how frightening this formidable, freckled firebrand could be. There was no mercy in her; In fact, as his betrothed, she treated Baledagh much more harshly than any of the others, giving him a savage beating every time they stepped on stage.
To make matters worse, Sumilas superior performance always sparked Zians competitive nature, earning Baledagh a second savage beating from the uppity nobleman. Baledagh was confident he would one day repay that snobby bastard in full, but he harboured no such hopes when faced with Sumilas overwhelming supremacy.
Her snort alone was enough to send a chill down Baledaghs spine. What makes you think somethings wrong? Why cant your betrothed come meet you after a long day of training? Dressed in a baggy borrowed tunic, Sumila stood with hand on hip and the other curled into a fist as if ready to punch Baledagh in the mouth, which was sadly, fairly normal behaviour. What wasnt normal was how she kept trading expressive glances with Mei Lin, and when their silent yet lengthy debate concluded, Sumila copied Mei Lins actions using Baledaghs other arm. I missed you, she muttered, refusing to look him in the eye.
Oh how wonderful. No, not wonderful, terrible. These were Brothers betrotheds and this was wrong. But it felt so right. Though Sumilas borrowed outfit made her look broad-shouldered and undefined, the truth was anything but. Her supple, athletic form was pleasing to the touch, tough yet pliant with surprising... volume, and Baledagh lost himself in the sensations for a breath of time. Coming back to his senses, his attempts to free his arm ended in abject failure as Sumilas firm and unyielding grip was too strong for him to oppose. As her loose tunic slipped to reveal a pale, freckled shoulder, Baledagh trembled with fear or desire. After clearing his throat several times, he finally mustered up enough saliva to whisper, Er... I missed you too. Very much, but uh... this isnt proper... Heart skipping a beat at Sumilas ferocious scowl, he amended what he was about to say. ...How about we hold hands?
It seemed like an acceptable compromise. Despite Brothers insistence to the contrary, there was nothing inappropriate or lewd about holding hands.
Thankfully, Sumila happily conceded to Baledaghs point and interlaced her fingers with his own. Feeling a silly smile stretching over his face, he offered his free hand to Mei Lin who did the same. So odd for such a simple thing like holding hands to bring so much joy, but there was an affectionate intimacy which came with it, an implicit trust and interdependence. Sumilas grip was snug and solid, their forearms pressed together and her shoulder brushing against his, striking a careful balance between supportive and dependant. On the other hand, Mei Lin held only two of his fingers in her loose, light grip, swinging their arms back and forth as she skipped along in child-like glee and asked, How was your swim?
Productive, he answered, smile widening until his cheeks strained with effort. I figured out how to turn Chi into water... in a manner of speaking. Careful not to overstate his accomplishment, he narrated his afternoon for both girls and swelled with pride as he basked in their praise. This was fine, if Baledaghs failures were Brothers to bear, then it made sense to also share his accomplishments too. Besides, even if he wasnt the one to figure it out, once Brother came back and practised a little, hed overtake Baledagh in the blink of an eye.
Settling down by the fire with Brothers betrotheds, Baledagh froze up when Tali ran over to join in the fun, plopping herself down on his lap without warning. Thankfully, Tate preferred cuddling with Li Song so Baledagh only had the one child to deal with. Favouring him with a most precious smile, Tali snuggled back against his chest, looked up, and said, Hi Rainy.
Most days, Baledagh wanted nothing to do with the children, noisy, messy, capricious little creatures that they were, but today, things were different. Overwhelmed with emotion, he wrapped his arms around the tiny, precious half-goat and hugged her tight, still holding firm to Mei Lin and Sumilas hands and drawing them in a little closer. Hello sweetling, he said, kissing the top of her head out of reflex. How was your day?
It was so much fun Rainy, you should have come with. Great-granma brought us into the city with Lin-Lin, and Mi-Mi, and Li-Li, and...
Talis storytelling was hardly riveting, but Baledagh listened to the entire thing, nodding along and asking questions like Brother would. He didnt even have to pretend to be interested, he really wanted to hear about all the fun things Tali did and how she saw the world, smiling at her fanciful descriptions of the most mundane things. Tate soon joined in and Baledagh marvelled at how they found excitement from the tiniest things, from paper lanterns with fanciful drawings to luxurious boats with elaborate decorations. He couldnt remember a time when hed been the same, only bits and pieces of a life before the mines. Wandering through the darkness mostly, cold and scared, hungry and tired. Had there been someone with him? Someone to love him like Brother loved Tate and Tali? Someone whose hand he could hold or arms he could rest in?
Baledagh wasnt sure, but in his heart, he felt like the answer was probably no.
This realization tainted the happiness from this moment and all the contented smiles and congratulatory pats in the world couldnt fix his dour mood. While he couldnt deny he wanted all this for himself, this was Brothers life and their love and support was meant for him. Baledagh was an aberration, a second mind trapped in a life not his own and no amount of pretending would make it otherwise. So distracted by his musings, Baledagh accidentally dropped his bowl of noodles and burnt his hands in scalding hot soup trying to catch it. Hissing with pain, he blew on his hands and shook his head, anxiously making sure no one else was hurt before feigning yet another smile to placate Brothers happy little family.
What was Baledagh doing here? Blobby should have eaten him and left Brother behind, then all their problems wouldve been solved...
Once dinner ended, Baledagh pleaded exhaustion and headed back to his yurt, escorted by Sumila, Mei Lin, Mama Bun, and Ping Ping. While Ping Ping settled into the dirt, Mei Lin joined Mama Bun to inspect the bunnies and left Baledagh alone with Sumila. Rubbing her cheek against his shoulder, she Sent, You know... you still havent asked about your Spiritual Weapon...
Oh no. Sorry, he Sent. With the Awakening and everything else going on, it slipped my mind. Even without seeing her face, he knew hed said the wrong thing, heart dropping as she deflated beside him. Tell me about it?
Hmph. I left it with Papa so you can go find out yourself. Releasing her grip, she huffed and crossed her arms in displeasure, muttering unpleasant things beneath her breath. She was so moody and capricious, violent and demanding, Baledagh couldnt understand what Brother saw in this temperamental nag.
So why did seeing her distraught make his heart ache?
Keeping silent until Mei Lin was done, Baledagh watched them walk away and enter Li Songs yurt just across the way. Belatedly noticing Banjo and Baloo had gone with them, he chuckled beneath his breath at the hare-girls persistence. The mischievous girl even kept Aurie with her, leaving Baledagh to spend the night alone in his yurt or under the stars with Ping Ping and the bunnies. No matter, he could survive a night without his cuddly bears, overly affectionate wildcat, and without the new Spiritual Weapon too. Best to leave it for Brother to bind, and if he needed an excuse, he could say he needed to sleep before meeting with the Legate in front of the Empires highest ranked officials and soldiers.
Oh Mother above, what was he going to do about that meeting?Read latest chapters at nov(e)lbin.com Only
...One?
No.
Sucking in a lungful of air, the monk exhaled in defeat. Well, he said, getting up to leave, Guess well keep doing what were doing then. I Send and you glare. Oh, and sorry about your nose. Next time you try to kill me, Ill be more careful not to hurt you.
Wait... Another day of lectures would leave Baledagh frothing at the mouth. Fine... one hour. Leaning back to rest on one elbow, Baledagh yawned and said, Well?
Donning his air of holy grandiosity, the monk sat up straight and crossed his legs. This one has spoken of much these past days. Does Junior Brother have any questions?
Well... technically, this was Baledaghs idea, so it seemed fair for him to start. Why are you called the Penitent Brotherhood?
Because we are all sinners with much to atone for.
Waiting for the monk to elaborate, Baledagh soon realized that was all he would get. Okay... Well, you go on a lot about the four desires and three truths. Whats that all about?
The Three Desires and Four Noble Truths are the keys to escaping this cycle of Samsara. First you must forsake the Three Desires, which are the craving for sensual pleasures, existence, and non-existence. Then-
Stop. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Baledagh tried to wrap his mind around the concept. Sensual pleasure I understand, but what about existence and non-existence? How is anyone supposed to forsake the desire to exist and not exist at the same time?
To crave existence is to seek self-identity. Permanence in fame, glory, legacy, or even form. Eternity is not meant for us humble mortals, which we all must come to accept. With his head up and eyes half-lidded, the monk almost looked the part of divine messenger, with no sign of the surly, cursing, ready-to-get-drunk monk from before. To crave non-existence is to avoid unpleasantness. Drinking to dull a broken heart, closing your eyes to anothers suffering, or ending your life to escape your pain, all are forms of non-existence. The Three Desires are at the root of all our worldly suffering, and only by letting them go can we end it.
So no sex, fame, or alcohol.
More than that. Sensual pleasure is not merely sex, but to abstain from all manner of sensory pleasures. Whether it be sex, wealth, power-
Food?
Choking on a cough, the monk opened his eyes and glared at Baledagh before chuckling in agreement. Indeed, this one is far from perfect, but we all have our failings, Junior Brother. Its rude to point fingers.
Okay... Hoping to hurry the discussion along, Baledagh asked, So you forsake these desires and accept your truths, all so you can... do what exactly?
Escape the cycle of Samsara.
And that is...? It took every scrap of willpower Baledagh had not to yawn. Mother above, if everything the monk had to say was this boring, then he might not last the entire hour.
Reincarnation. Seeing Baledagh sit up with interest, the monk added, Of course, that is a simplified way of describing things. There are many more nuanced-
No, thats fine. Taking a proper seat at the table, Baledagh asked, Tell me about reincarnation.
If the monk had information which could help find Brother, then maybe this whole farce wasnt a complete waste of time.
Maybe.
Probably not.
Chapter Meme
Chapter 323Upon arriving back on shore in Ping Pings embrace, Baledaghs celebratory mood came to an abrupt end when he noticed Mei Lin and Sumila waiting in ambush. With Li Song, the wildcats, and a horde of bunnies hopping about as reinforcements, Baledagh had no choice but to feign a smile and wave while wracking his brain for something Brother would say, something both heartfelt and sincere, perhaps even a little teasing or witty.Between the nervous sweating, rapid heart palpitations, and limited time frame, the best he could come up with was, Hello.Hi hubby. Taking his awkward, over-enunciated greeting in stride, Mei Lin skipped to his side with a smile. Ignoring his dripping wet body, she commandeered his arm and clutched it tight against her chest in greeting. While not the largest of breasts by any measure, Mei Lin had grown quite a bit since Baledagh first laid eyes on her, a lovely young woman whose girlish figure had plumped up nicely in all the right places. As much as he appreciated noticing these changes, the pleasing, soft sensation pressed against his arm made his cheeks burn hot with hunger and shame. Mei Lin was Brothers betrothed, not Baledaghs, so he shouldnt be taking advantage like this.At least the monk wasnt here to ruin everything with one of his lectures. Maybe the fat bastard had finally given up and left...Gingerly extracting his arm, Baledagh patted Mei Lins head like Brother always did and ignored her wide-eyed pout. Moving on to the next problem, he faced down Sumilas challenging stare as it bored deep into his skull. Is something wrong? he asked, doing his best not to shrink away. Although she only rarely took part in their sparring matches, Baledagh was all too aware of how frightening this formidable, freckled firebrand could be. There was no mercy in her; In fact, as his betrothed, she treated Baledagh much more harshly than any of the others, giving him a savage beating every time they stepped on stage.To make matters worse, Sumilas superior performance always sparked Zians competitive nature, earning Baledagh a second savage beating from the uppity nobleman. Baledagh was confident he would one day repay that snobby bastard in full, but he harboured no such hopes when faced with Sumilas overwhelming supremacy.Her snort alone was enough to send a chill down Baledaghs spine. What makes you think somethings wrong? Why cant your betrothed come meet you after a long day of training? Dressed in a baggy borrowed tunic, Sumila stood with hand on hip and the other curled into a fist as if ready to punch Baledagh in the mouth, which was sadly, fairly normal behaviour. What wasnt normal was how she kept trading expressive glances with Mei Lin, and when their silent yet lengthy debate concluded, Sumila copied Mei Lins actions using Baledaghs other arm. I missed you, she muttered, refusing to look him in the eye.Oh how wonderful. No, not wonderful, terrible. These were Brothers betrotheds and this was wrong. But it felt so right. Though Sumilas borrowed outfit made her look broad-shouldered and undefined, the truth was anything but. Her supple, athletic form was pleasing to the touch, tough yet pliant with surprising... volume, and Baledagh lost himself in the sensations for a breath of time. Coming back to his senses, his attempts to free his arm ended in abject failure as Sumilas firm and unyielding grip was too strong for him to oppose. As her loose tunic slipped to reveal a pale, freckled shoulder, Baledagh trembled with fear or desire. After clearing his throat several times, he finally mustered up enough saliva to whisper, Er... I missed you too. Very much, but uh... this isnt proper... Heart skipping a beat at Sumilas ferocious scowl, he amended what he was about to say. ...How about we hold hands?It seemed like an acceptable compromise. Despite Brothers insistence to the contrary, there was nothing inappropriate or lewd about holding hands.Thankfully, Sumila happily conceded to Baledaghs point and interlaced her fingers with his own. Feeling a silly smile stretching over his face, he offered his free hand to Mei Lin who did the same. So odd for such a simple thing like holding hands to bring so much joy, but there was an affectionate intimacy which came with it, an implicit trust and interdependence. Sumilas grip was snug and solid, their forearms pressed together and her shoulder brushing against his, striking a careful balance between supportive and dependant. On the other hand, Mei Lin held only two of his fingers in her loose, light grip, swinging their arms back and forth as she skipped along in child-like glee and asked, How was your swim?Productive, he answered, smile widening until his cheeks strained with effort. I figured out how to turn Chi into water... in a manner of speaking. Careful not to overstate his accomplishment, he narrated his afternoon for both girls and swelled with pride as he basked in their praise. This was fine, if Baledaghs failures were Brothers to bear, then it made sense to also share his accomplishments too. Besides, even if he wasnt the one to figure it out, once Brother came back and practised a little, hed overtake Baledagh in the blink of an eye.Settling down by the fire with Brothers betrotheds, Baledagh froze up when Tali ran over to join in the fun, plopping herself down on his lap without warning. Thankfully, Tate preferred cuddling with Li Song so Baledagh only had the one child to deal with. Favouring him with a most precious smile, Tali snuggled back against his chest, looked up, and said, Hi Rainy.Most days, Baledagh wanted nothing to do with the children, noisy, messy, capricious little creatures that they were, but today, things were different. Overwhelmed with emotion, he wrapped his arms around the tiny, precious half-goat and hugged her tight, still holding firm to Mei Lin and Sumilas hands and drawing them in a little closer. Hello sweetling, he said, kissing the top of her head out of reflex. How was your day?It was so much fun Rainy, you should have come with. Great-granma brought us into the city with Lin-Lin, and Mi-Mi, and Li-Li, and...Talis storytelling was hardly riveting, but Baledagh listened to the entire thing, nodding along and asking questions like Brother would. He didnt even have to pretend to be interested, he really wanted to hear about all the fun things Tali did and how she saw the world, smiling at her fanciful descriptions of the most mundane things. Tate soon joined in and Baledagh marvelled at how they found excitement from the tiniest things, from paper lanterns with fanciful drawings to luxurious boats with elaborate decorations. He couldnt remember a time when hed been the same, only bits and pieces of a life before the mines. Wandering through the darkness mostly, cold and scared, hungry and tired. Had there been someone with him? Someone to love him like Brother loved Tate and Tali? Someone whose hand he could hold or arms he could rest in?Baledagh wasnt sure, but in his heart, he felt like the answer was probably no.This realization tainted the happiness from this moment and all the contented smiles and congratulatory pats in the world couldnt fix his dour mood. While he couldnt deny he wanted all this for himself, this was Brothers life and their love and support was meant for him. Baledagh was an aberration, a second mind trapped in a life not his own and no amount of pretending would make it otherwise. So distracted by his musings, Baledagh accidentally dropped his bowl of noodles and burnt his hands in scalding hot soup trying to catch it. Hissing with pain, he blew on his hands and shook his head, anxiously making sure no one else was hurt before feigning yet another smile to placate Brothers happy little family.What was Baledagh doing here? Blobby should have eaten him and left Brother behind, then all their problems wouldve been solved...Once dinner ended, Baledagh pleaded exhaustion and headed back to his yurt, escorted by Sumila, Mei Lin, Mama Bun, and Ping Ping. While Ping Ping settled into the dirt, Mei Lin joined Mama Bun to inspect the bunnies and left Baledagh alone with Sumila. Rubbing her cheek against his shoulder, she Sent, You know... you still havent asked about your Spiritual Weapon...Oh no. Sorry, he Sent. With the Awakening and everything else going on, it slipped my mind. Even without seeing her face, he knew hed said the wrong thing, heart dropping as she deflated beside him. Tell me about it?Hmph. I left it with Papa so you can go find out yourself. Releasing her grip, she huffed and crossed her arms in displeasure, muttering unpleasant things beneath her breath. She was so moody and capricious, violent and demanding, Baledagh couldnt understand what Brother saw in this temperamental nag.So why did seeing her distraught make his heart ache?Keeping silent until Mei Lin was done, Baledagh watched them walk away and enter Li Songs yurt just across the way. Belatedly noticing Banjo and Baloo had gone with them, he chuckled beneath his breath at the hare-girls persistence. The mischievous girl even kept Aurie with her, leaving Baledagh to spend the night alone in his yurt or under the stars with Ping Ping and the bunnies. No matter, he could survive a night without his cuddly bears, overly affectionate wildcat, and without the new Spiritual Weapon too. Best to leave it for Brother to bind, and if he needed an excuse, he could say he needed to sleep before meeting with the Legate in front of the Empires highest ranked officials and soldiers.Oh Mother above, what was he going to do about that meeting?Read latest chapters at novelbin.com Only...One?No.Sucking in a lungful of air, the monk exhaled in defeat. Well, he said, getting up to leave, Guess well keep doing what were doing then. I Send and you glare. Oh, and sorry about your nose. Next time you try to kill me, Ill be more careful not to hurt you.Wait... Another day of lectures would leave Baledagh frothing at the mouth. Fine... one hour. Leaning back to rest on one elbow, Baledagh yawned and said, Well?Donning his air of holy grandiosity, the monk sat up straight and crossed his legs. This one has spoken of much these past days. Does Junior Brother have any questions?Well... technically, this was Baledaghs idea, so it seemed fair for him to start. Why are you called the Penitent Brotherhood?Because we are all sinners with much to atone for.Waiting for the monk to elaborate, Baledagh soon realized that was all he would get. Okay... Well, you go on a lot about the four desires and three truths. Whats that all about?The Three Desires and Four Noble Truths are the keys to escaping this cycle of Samsara. First you must forsake the Three Desires, which are the craving for sensual pleasures, existence, and non-existence. Then-Stop. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Baledagh tried to wrap his mind around the concept. Sensual pleasure I understand, but what about existence and non-existence? How is anyone supposed to forsake the desire to exist and not exist at the same time?To crave existence is to seek self-identity. Permanence in fame, glory, legacy, or even form. Eternity is not meant for us humble mortals, which we all must come to accept. With his head up and eyes half-lidded, the monk almost looked the part of divine messenger, with no sign of the surly, cursing, ready-to-get-drunk monk from before. To crave non-existence is to avoid unpleasantness. Drinking to dull a broken heart, closing your eyes to anothers suffering, or ending your life to escape your pain, all are forms of non-existence. The Three Desires are at the root of all our worldly suffering, and only by letting them go can we end it.So no sex, fame, or alcohol.More than that. Sensual pleasure is not merely sex, but to abstain from all manner of sensory pleasures. Whether it be sex, wealth, power-Food?Choking on a cough, the monk opened his eyes and glared at Baledagh before chuckling in agreement. Indeed, this one is far from perfect, but we all have our failings, Junior Brother. Its rude to point fingers.Okay... Hoping to hurry the discussion along, Baledagh asked, So you forsake these desires and accept your truths, all so you can... do what exactly?Escape the cycle of Samsara.And that is...? It took every scrap of willpower Baledagh had not to yawn. Mother above, if everything the monk had to say was this boring, then he might not last the entire hour.Reincarnation. Seeing Baledagh sit up with interest, the monk added, Of course, that is a simplified way of describing things. There are many more nuanced-No, thats fine. Taking a proper seat at the table, Baledagh asked, Tell me about reincarnation.If the monk had information which could help find Brother, then maybe this whole farce wasnt a complete waste of time.Maybe.Probably not.Chapter Meme
