“So… how far do you need to go?”
Corp tilts his head to the side at my question. “What do you mean by ‘how far’? I want to reach the end if possible.”
“This isn’t what I meant…”
Maybe I wasn’t specific enough? How can I explain it to somebody who doesn’t know anything about this dungeon, so that he understands the situation?
“Hmm…” I touch my tusks, thinking. “What I mean is how much do you want to see. There are a few zones and monsters that can force us to split, or outright kill us if we’re unlucky… So I want to know if you want to experience them too or if you want me to try and avoid them. Though I can’t promise anything… this dungeon is too unpredictable.”
“Why are you asking this? Isn’t it obvious I want to see everything? And you’re the expert, you should know how to deal with the monsters here!”
Corp points at me as he shouts. Oh, come on, why are you acting all high and mighty? Weren’t you scared a few minutes ago?
This is why I don’t like playing with other people… What do I do? Hmmm… I want to see how he reacts to the other stuff, so I won’t get angry at him for this.
“I’m being serious here, Corp. There are a few monsters in this dungeon nobody can do anything about. The first ones that come to mind are the Tunnels’ Nightmare and the monster train. Do you want to split up because of fear? I mean the fear status. Not even I can protect you if we’re both affected. Or even worse, being swarmed by an unending stream of monsters? I’ve died every time it happened, you know? How do you expect to survive?”
“W-what are you talking about!? It makes no sense, don’t lie to me!”
I ignore him and continue my explanation. I force him to look at me, clasping his head between my hands.
“Do you understand, Corp? If we encounter those, it’s GG. We die! The end of the road!”
He calms down before opening his eyes wide in understanding, fear etched on his face. Heh, how funny.
“...So answer me. Do you want me to try to avoid them or not? Keep in mind I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best.”
“T-then, let’s avoid them if possible. I don’t want to come here more than once…”
“Nice!” I release him. “Good decision if your objective is to see as much of this damned dungeon as possible in one go. Huh, huh, huh!”
“...”
Corp doesn’t reply. But as I resume the dungeon invasion, he follows my steps.
As we agreed, I’ll keep an eye out for them. Huh, huh, huh! But who knows what’ll happen… it’s impossible to know how, or when, they’ll appear. And that’s if they appear at all.
I stretch my shoulders and swing my battleaxe around. I’m looking forward to a fight to the death. It’s been so long since the last one…
“Run, Corp, run!”
I start running without looking behind. There’s a thundering noise coming in our direction, which means it’s time to run away.
“Ok, but what’s up now?” He shouts from behind.
“It’s the monster train, they’re coming in this direction! We must run away!”
“Didn’t you say you’d avoid them!?”
“That’s what I’m doing right now!”
Like hell I can avoid them! The only thing I can do is run away as soon as I know where they are.
The noise grows louder as we run, it seems the monster train is getting closer. The path splits into two and I turn right. In the next split, I turn left. Let’s hope the monster train goes another way…
“Shouldn’t we be checking if there’s a Tunnel Mimic?”
“Do you think there’s time to waste!? Just pray there isn’t one and follow me!”
The thundering noise from the monster train starts to fade out.
Did we manage to lose them? It seems they chose another path, but we’re not safe yet, there are a lot of tunnels that connect to multiple other tunnels in this area… it’s possible we’ll encounter them again soon.
I decide it isn’t safe yet and continue running.
Agh, what a shame… I could be enjoying an epic fight right now, and I’m running away instead! I regret my current situation so much.
The tunnel goes downward and then moves to the right. Hmm… maybe we’re safe now? This area should lead to the underground river if I remember properly, so we should be safe from the monster train for now.
Right as I’m about to stop and return to normal peace, I see IT.
“Ooooh, shit! This is bad…”
“Umphf!” Corp can’t stop on time and crashes into me. He’s so weak that I’m sure he felt like crashing into a wall. “W-what are you doing, stopping so suddenly!?”
“Don’t look there!”
“Look where…? What’s that!? Is it a new monster?”
I try to stop him, but I can’t move properly due to its passive skill. Corp avoids me and takes a step to the side, looking at IT too.
“Fuck this! It’s too late now!”
Right in front of us, there’s the Tunnels’ Nightmare. And it’s getting ready to use Alpha’s Howl. We’re screwed if the fear effect works on both of us at the same time.
I’m sure there’s an idiom about this situation… something about going from a difficult situation to another that’s even worse…
“Why am I always so unlucky!? Why did it have to be here!? It could be some other kind of strong but dangerous monster, but no, it had to be the stupidest one in THIS WHOLE DAMN DUNGEON!”
It’s the same every single time. If there’s something bad that can happen to me, it always does. The only way this could get worse is if the Evil Mastermind himself comes to test one of his ‘new creations’.
…I really hope he doesn’t come. I don’t want to die a pathetic death in front of this noob.
“After the howl, if you’re not affected by fear and I am, chase after me. Understood?”
“W-what? Chase after you, what are you…”
There’s no time for explanations. The Nightmare howls and the five seconds of forced-looking end. At the same time, several of our support mobs and Corp start running away in random directions.
Here goes our chance to defeat this dungeon…
“Oh, I’m not affected?” I incredulously look around. Only me and one orc didn’t suffer from the fear. “I should do my job then.”
I chase after Corp. As funny as I find his reaction and the random bullshit he’s spouting as he runs because of the fear, I must pretend everything is still under my control.
“Agh! I hate this! Does it make sense for things to happen so randomly!? Why does anyone like this dungeon!?”
Oooh, Corp is starting to understand the player’s feelings! Though there’s still a long way for him to go until he reaches everyone’s level. He doesn’t understand the good parts yet.
And Corp, don’t be rude. I’m one of the players who like this dungeon! It’s one of those hate-love relationships, sure, but this means I like it too.
I hate the random stuff and tricky situations, but it’s also the only dungeon I’ve found that can truly challenge me unless I go to higher-level dungeons. Fighting to the death against the monster train, or clashing with the Minitaur Queen is extremely satisfying for me. The thrill of battle, the tension coming from not knowing when the enemies will ambush me… They’re very nice.
And I swear! One day, I’ll beat every monster to the dust and raise as the undisputed champion!
Though is evident that day isn’t today.
“Leader, do something about this!”
“I’m on my way.”
I say something random. It isn’t like I can do anything about it: until the fear disappears, he’ll run randomly through the dungeon. That’s it.
The only saving grace of this situation is that the Tunnels’ Nightmare doesn’t chase you if you run away.
Like this, Corp, me, the orc who wasn’t affected, and the goblin mage, who got lucky to run in the same direction as Corp, continue running inside the tunnels.
“It’s about time the fear ends…”
Right after I mutter this, Corp hits one wall and finally stops. This is a common sight when you’re feared since the movement is random. It’s common to hit walls, objects, and other random stuff as you can’t control where you move.
“You ok?”
“Ugh… where are we…?” Corp fumbles around, trying to rise from the ground. He waves his hands around, looking for something to grab. “Ah, this is…”
What he grabs is a protruding rock that looks extremely close to one of those classical levers you find in most dungeon games.
“Don’t touch it…!”
I try to stop him, but he pulls it before I can warn him.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to stop him, it’s already too late. I’m not sure if he’s too fast, or too stupid.
…When it comes to this dungeon, definitely too stupid.
“You fool! Who knows what’s going to happen next!? We might die now because of you!”
“...I’m sorry?”
Of course, you are!
This is bad... VERY BAD! There’s a golden rule in this damned dungeon, and it goes like this: if you don’t want to die, don’t touch anything you don’t know about. Those mysterious and unknown monsters and zones are for those heroes who don’t mind dying, not for those that want to reach the end of this dungeon.
I’m the one who’s spreading the idea, I know what I’m talking about! But Corp goes and ignores it every time! I’m 100% sure it’s important because every time I died was because of something new I didn’t know about.
In short, New = Death. If you’re really lucky, it can be New = Pain, but for some reason, when it comes to me, it’s always the first option.
After Corp pulls the rocky lever, the dungeon trembles. Then, the wall collapses and a new passage appears.
“This is bad… who knows what’s there. Corp! Why do you never follow what I say?”
I intimidate him, and he lowers his head in shame and fear. This time I’m not joking around, I’m genuinely angry.
“B-but… when you see a l-lever, y-you pull it, right?”
“...”
Ok, me, don’t do it. Don’t punch him in the face. I’m the expert and gentle leader, I can’t show my bad side because of this…
I slowly exhale, letting go of my anger. The damage is already done, now we can resume our dungeon exploration and move on. Let’s ignore what happened here and hope it doesn’t come back to bite us.
“Then, we’ll continue going the other way…”
“Hey, Leader. Where do you think this passage leads to? Do you think we’re the first ones to discover it?”
“...” He isn’t planning on going inside, is he? “I have no idea, but nobody said anything about a secret passage in this area of the dungeon. I think we’re the first ones to find it.”
“Then… shouldn’t we go inside and see what we find? How exciting, we’re the explorers of the unknown! Hehehe!”
“That’s…” ‘...a bad idea’, I’m about to say.
At first, I think about dissuading him, but then I change my mind. Didn’t Corp say he wanted to see everything? Didn’t he say he wanted to experience the whole dungeon? Then, who am I to stop him from doing so?
You said you wanted to understand why the players fear and admire this dungeon in equal parts, right? Then I’m going to allow you to experience it first-hand. You’ll have the honor to be the first one to die to the monsters, traps, or whatever lies on the other side of this passage.
And this time, I won’t be the one to suffer! I’ll be the spectator watching the others’ suffering! I’ll finally know what it feels like to be on the other side of the screen! Huh, huh, huh!
This is going to be so good!
Please, unknown and dangerous monsters, don’t come at me, attack Corp instead. He’s the one who wanted to come, and also the one who wants to experience this dungeon in its full power… I’m only here to see the show, so please, act as if I weren’t here.
Like this, we decide to go into the secret passage. Let’s see what we find! I hope Corp finds despair… Huh, huh, huh!
The passage continues for twenty-odd meters. Then, it narrows until there’s only a vertical crack in the rock.
What’s on the other side? It’s too dark and I can’t see anything.
“Well, Corp. We reached the end and didn’t find anything.” It’s kind of disappointing there were no monsters or traps in this tunnel, but I’m sure there’ll be some on the other side of the crack. “Do you want to see what’s on the other side?”
“Sure! We’re the first to discover this place, we must investigate everything we can and then we can brag about it.”
“Ok… Huh, huh, huh.”
He forgot the reason he came to this dungeon, didn’t he? He also forgot how scared he was a few minutes ago. But I won’t complain. It's good to see him acting like this because his despair will be far greater later.
For some reason, I can’t stop grinning.
“Then, Corp… do you want to have the honor to be the first person to step inside this new and unexplored area?”
In other words: I give you the honor to be the first one to encounter the dangers and the first one to die.
“Yes! Thank you, Leader! I’m sure you want to be recognized too, but to think you give me the privilege…”
Don’t worry, I don’t mind. I absolutely don’t mind you having this privilege... I wouldn’t call it a ‘privilege’ either.
“It’s narrow… Can you push me a little? Yes, like that! A little bit more force… Uaaagh!” He falls to the ground at the other side of the crack. “I-I’m ok! I reached the other side.”
I’m looking forward to this ‘adventure’ of his.
“Uaah, it smells bad in here. And what’s this sticky substance?”
From the other side of the crack, I hear Corp complaining. He continues to ignore one of the most important rules: don’t touch stuff you don’t understand. But it’s not that bad, he didn’t die immediately. Is he lucky, or unlucky? Not dying immediately doesn’t make you lucky, it sometimes is the worst result. A slow and painful death is generally worse than a quick one.
I decide to cross the crack too. It’s hard because I’m larger than Corp.
Will there be a big scary monster somewhere? I hope so because it’ll make all this endeavor worthwhile. But if it’s random monsters with dangerous or unexpected skills, please ignore me and have some big fun with Corp. He’s the one who wanted to come, after all.
“First Survival Rule:
If you don’t want to die, don’t touch stuff if you don’t know what they are. Don’t put your hand inside, don’t get close, don’t smell it. If it makes noise, don’t listen to it. Don’t look at it. If you can, treat it as if it didn’t exist.
You might still die because you ignored it, it might be something you can’t avoid, but it’s better than knowing it’s your fault you died.”
- To help players invade The Mad Rat’s Lab, some players compiled a set of rules to follow when inside. It started as a shorter version of the ‘How to Stay Sane in The Mad Rat’s Lab’ guide, but… it ended up being a very long list.
“So… how far do you need to go?”
Corp tilts his head to the side at my question. “What do you mean by ‘how far’? I want to reach the end if possible.”
“This isn’t what I meant…”
Maybe I wasn’t specific enough? How can I explain it to somebody who doesn’t know anything about this dungeon, so that he understands the situation?
“Hmm…” I touch my tusks, thinking. “What I mean is how much do you want to see. There are a few zones and monsters that can force us to split, or outright kill us if we’re unlucky… So I want to know if you want to experience them too or if you want me to try and avoid them. Though I can’t promise anything… this dungeon is too unpredictable.”
“Why are you asking this? Isn’t it obvious I want to see everything? And you’re the expert, you should know how to deal with the monsters here!”
Corp points at me as he shouts. Oh, come on, why are you acting all high and mighty? Weren’t you scared a few minutes ago?
This is why I don’t like playing with other people… What do I do? Hmmm… I want to see how he reacts to the other stuff, so I won’t get angry at him for this.
“I’m being serious here, Corp. There are a few monsters in this dungeon nobody can do anything about. The first ones that come to mind are the Tunnels’ Nightmare and the monster train. Do you want to split up because of fear? I mean the fear status. Not even I can protect you if we’re both affected. Or even worse, being swarmed by an unending stream of monsters? I’ve died every time it happened, you know? How do you expect to survive?”
“W-what are you talking about!? It makes no sense, don’t lie to me!”
I ignore him and continue my explanation. I force him to look at me, clasping his head between my hands.
“Do you understand, Corp? If we encounter those, it’s GG. We die! The end of the road!”
He calms down before opening his eyes wide in understanding, fear etched on his face. Heh, how funny.
“...So answer me. Do you want me to try to avoid them or not? Keep in mind I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best.”
“T-then, let’s avoid them if possible. I don’t want to come here more than once…”
“Nice!” I release him. “Good decision if your objective is to see as much of this damned dungeon as possible in one go. Huh, huh, huh!”
“...”
Corp doesn’t reply. But as I resume the dungeon invasion, he follows my steps.
As we agreed, I’ll keep an eye out for them. Huh, huh, huh! But who knows what’ll happen… it’s impossible to know how, or when, they’ll appear. And that’s if they appear at all.
I stretch my shoulders and swing my battleaxe around. I’m looking forward to a fight to the death. It’s been so long since the last one…
“Run, Corp, run!”
I start running without looking behind. There’s a thundering noise coming in our direction, which means it’s time to run away.
“Ok, but what’s up now?” He shouts from behind.
“It’s the monster train, they’re coming in this direction! We must run away!”
“Didn’t you say you’d avoid them!?”
“That’s what I’m doing right now!”
Like hell I can avoid them! The only thing I can do is run away as soon as I know where they are.
The noise grows louder as we run, it seems the monster train is getting closer. The path splits into two and I turn right. In the next split, I turn left. Let’s hope the monster train goes another way…
“Shouldn’t we be checking if there’s a Tunnel Mimic?”
“Do you think there’s time to waste!? Just pray there isn’t one and follow me!”
The thundering noise from the monster train starts to fade out.
Did we manage to lose them? It seems they chose another path, but we’re not safe yet, there are a lot of tunnels that connect to multiple other tunnels in this area… it’s possible we’ll encounter them again soon.
I decide it isn’t safe yet and continue running.
Agh, what a shame… I could be enjoying an epic fight right now, and I’m running away instead! I regret my current situation so much.
The tunnel goes downward and then moves to the right. Hmm… maybe we’re safe now? This area should lead to the underground river if I remember properly, so we should be safe from the monster train for now.
Right as I’m about to stop and return to normal peace, I see IT.
“Ooooh, shit! This is bad…”
“Umphf!” Corp can’t stop on time and crashes into me. He’s so weak that I’m sure he felt like crashing into a wall. “W-what are you doing, stopping so suddenly!?”
“Don’t look there!”
“Look where…? What’s that!? Is it a new monster?”
I try to stop him, but I can’t move properly due to its passive skill. Corp avoids me and takes a step to the side, looking at IT too.
“Fuck this! It’s too late now!”
Right in front of us, there’s the Tunnels’ Nightmare. And it’s getting ready to use Alpha’s Howl. We’re screwed if the fear effect works on both of us at the same time.
I’m sure there’s an idiom about this situation… something about going from a difficult situation to another that’s even worse…
“Why am I always so unlucky!? Why did it have to be here!? It could be some other kind of strong but dangerous monster, but no, it had to be the stupidest one in THIS WHOLE DAMN DUNGEON!”
It’s the same every single time. If there’s something bad that can happen to me, it always does. The only way this could get worse is if the Evil Mastermind himself comes to test one of his ‘new creations’.
…I really hope he doesn’t come. I don’t want to die a pathetic death in front of this noob.
“After the howl, if you’re not affected by fear and I am, chase after me. Understood?”
“W-what? Chase after you, what are you…”
There’s no time for explanations. The Nightmare howls and the five seconds of forced-looking end. At the same time, several of our support mobs and Corp start running away in random directions.
Here goes our chance to defeat this dungeon…
“Oh, I’m not affected?” I incredulously look around. Only me and one orc didn’t suffer from the fear. “I should do my job then.”
I chase after Corp. As funny as I find his reaction and the random bullshit he’s spouting as he runs because of the fear, I must pretend everything is still under my control.
“Agh! I hate this! Does it make sense for things to happen so randomly!? Why does anyone like this dungeon!?”
Oooh, Corp is starting to understand the player’s feelings! Though there’s still a long way for him to go until he reaches everyone’s level. He doesn’t understand the good parts yet.
And Corp, don’t be rude. I’m one of the players who like this dungeon! It’s one of those hate-love relationships, sure, but this means I like it too.
I hate the random stuff and tricky situations, but it’s also the only dungeon I’ve found that can truly challenge me unless I go to higher-level dungeons. Fighting to the death against the monster train, or clashing with the Minitaur Queen is extremely satisfying for me. The thrill of battle, the tension coming from not knowing when the enemies will ambush me… They’re very nice.
And I swear! One day, I’ll beat every monster to the dust and raise as the undisputed champion!
Though is evident that day isn’t today.
“Leader, do something about this!”
“I’m on my way.”
I say something random. It isn’t like I can do anything about it: until the fear disappears, he’ll run randomly through the dungeon. That’s it.
The only saving grace of this situation is that the Tunnels’ Nightmare doesn’t chase you if you run away.
Like this, Corp, me, the orc who wasn’t affected, and the goblin mage, who got lucky to run in the same direction as Corp, continue running inside the tunnels.
“It’s about time the fear ends…”
Right after I mutter this, Corp hits one wall and finally stops. This is a common sight when you’re feared since the movement is random. It’s common to hit walls, objects, and other random stuff as you can’t control where you move.
“You ok?”
“Ugh… where are we…?” Corp fumbles around, trying to rise from the ground. He waves his hands around, looking for something to grab. “Ah, this is…”
What he grabs is a protruding rock that looks extremely close to one of those classical levers you find in most dungeon games.
“Don’t touch it…!”
I try to stop him, but he pulls it before I can warn him.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to stop him, it’s already too late. I’m not sure if he’s too fast, or too stupid.
…When it comes to this dungeon, definitely too stupid.
“You fool! Who knows what’s going to happen next!? We might die now because of you!”
“...I’m sorry?”
Of course, you are!
This is bad... VERY BAD! There’s a golden rule in this damned dungeon, and it goes like this: if you don’t want to die, don’t touch anything you don’t know about. Those mysterious and unknown monsters and zones are for those heroes who don’t mind dying, not for those that want to reach the end of this dungeon.
I’m the one who’s spreading the idea, I know what I’m talking about! But Corp goes and ignores it every time! I’m 100% sure it’s important because every time I died was because of something new I didn’t know about.
In short, New = Death. If you’re really lucky, it can be New = Pain, but for some reason, when it comes to me, it’s always the first option.
After Corp pulls the rocky lever, the dungeon trembles. Then, the wall collapses and a new passage appears.
“This is bad… who knows what’s there. Corp! Why do you never follow what I say?”
I intimidate him, and he lowers his head in shame and fear. This time I’m not joking around, I’m genuinely angry.
“B-but… when you see a l-lever, y-you pull it, right?”
“...”
Ok, me, don’t do it. Don’t punch him in the face. I’m the expert and gentle leader, I can’t show my bad side because of this…
I slowly exhale, letting go of my anger. The damage is already done, now we can resume our dungeon exploration and move on. Let’s ignore what happened here and hope it doesn’t come back to bite us.
“Then, we’ll continue going the other way…”
“Hey, Leader. Where do you think this passage leads to? Do you think we’re the first ones to discover it?”
“...” He isn’t planning on going inside, is he? “I have no idea, but nobody said anything about a secret passage in this area of the dungeon. I think we’re the first ones to find it.”
“Then… shouldn’t we go inside and see what we find? How exciting, we’re the explorers of the unknown! Hehehe!”
“That’s…” ‘...a bad idea’, I’m about to say.
At first, I think about dissuading him, but then I change my mind. Didn’t Corp say he wanted to see everything? Didn’t he say he wanted to experience the whole dungeon? Then, who am I to stop him from doing so?
You said you wanted to understand why the players fear and admire this dungeon in equal parts, right? Then I’m going to allow you to experience it first-hand. You’ll have the honor to be the first one to die to the monsters, traps, or whatever lies on the other side of this passage.
And this time, I won’t be the one to suffer! I’ll be the spectator watching the others’ suffering! I’ll finally know what it feels like to be on the other side of the screen! Huh, huh, huh!
This is going to be so good!
Please, unknown and dangerous monsters, don’t come at me, attack Corp instead. He’s the one who wanted to come, and also the one who wants to experience this dungeon in its full power… I’m only here to see the show, so please, act as if I weren’t here.
Like this, we decide to go into the secret passage. Let’s see what we find! I hope Corp finds despair… Huh, huh, huh!
The passage continues for twenty-odd meters. Then, it narrows until there’s only a vertical crack in the rock.
What’s on the other side? It’s too dark and I can’t see anything.
“Well, Corp. We reached the end and didn’t find anything.” It’s kind of disappointing there were no monsters or traps in this tunnel, but I’m sure there’ll be some on the other side of the crack. “Do you want to see what’s on the other side?”
“Sure! We’re the first to discover this place, we must investigate everything we can and then we can brag about it.”
“Ok… Huh, huh, huh.”
He forgot the reason he came to this dungeon, didn’t he? He also forgot how scared he was a few minutes ago. But I won’t complain. It's good to see him acting like this because his despair will be far greater later.
For some reason, I can’t stop grinning.
“Then, Corp… do you want to have the honor to be the first person to step inside this new and unexplored area?”
In other words: I give you the honor to be the first one to encounter the dangers and the first one to die.
“Yes! Thank you, Leader! I’m sure you want to be recognized too, but to think you give me the privilege…”
Don’t worry, I don’t mind. I absolutely don’t mind you having this privilege... I wouldn’t call it a ‘privilege’ either.
“It’s narrow… Can you push me a little? Yes, like that! A little bit more force… Uaaagh!” He falls to the ground at the other side of the crack. “I-I’m ok! I reached the other side.”
I’m looking forward to this ‘adventure’ of his.
“Uaah, it smells bad in here. And what’s this sticky substance?”
From the other side of the crack, I hear Corp complaining. He continues to ignore one of the most important rules: don’t touch stuff you don’t understand. But it’s not that bad, he didn’t die immediately. Is he lucky, or unlucky? Not dying immediately doesn’t make you lucky, it sometimes is the worst result. A slow and painful death is generally worse than a quick one.
I decide to cross the crack too. It’s hard because I’m larger than Corp.
Will there be a big scary monster somewhere? I hope so because it’ll make all this endeavor worthwhile. But if it’s random monsters with dangerous or unexpected skills, please ignore me and have some big fun with Corp. He’s the one who wanted to come, after all.
“First Survival Rule:
If you don’t want to die, don’t touch stuff if you don’t know what they are. Don’t put your hand inside, don’t get close, don’t smell it. If it makes noise, don’t listen to it. Don’t look at it. If you can, treat it as if it didn’t exist.
You might still die because you ignored it, it might be something you can’t avoid, but it’s better than knowing it’s your fault you died.”
- To help players invade The Mad Rat’s Lab, some players compiled a set of rules to follow when inside. It started as a shorter version of the ‘How to Stay Sane in The Mad Rat’s Lab’ guide, but… it ended up being a very long list.
