We go back a short distance and turn left. A few mushrooms are growing here and there, though most of the tunnel is formed by naturally carved stone and sand. Since leaving the enormous cavern, we haven’t seen any sign of life except for the sporadic mushrooms, the deadly mushroom grove, and the cries echoing in the empty passages.
Now that we know how dangerous this area can be, we’re on edge about what’ll come next. These tunnels can’t be empty, can they? If the mushroom grove has any correlation with the rest of the stuff here… I don’t want to imagine what monsters roam this place.
The stone tunnel opens up into a medium-sized cavern. We passed by this place when searching for the place with the skull mark, but I didn’t pay attention.
“Here we are.” Says Matta while folding the map. “This should be the safe area.”
“Nooo! Stop! Release me!”
“Alright… In you go!” I throw the struggling Berta into the room.
“Kyaaaa!”
She flies for two meters until she stabilizes herself in the middle of the flight. She then glares at me and gives me the middle finger.
I ignore her actions and start inspecting the area from outside. “Do your job properly,” I tell her.
Like the tunnel we’re in, purplish light coming from nowhere illuminates the room. There are quite a lot of mushrooms inside, though not as many as in the mushroom grove.
There are also blue particles of an unknown origin suspended in the air, like motes of dust. They remind me of the poison clouds, but at the same time, they look quite different. What are they?
“There are no monsters or traps!” Shouts Berta while pointing her finger at me. “Ahahaha! You thought you were punishing me, but nothing is threatening my life! Ahahaha! You don’t even know how to–”
In the middle of talking bullshit, she suddenly falls to the ground. There was no warning.
“Did she die?” I ask Matta.
“Hmm… I don’t know… It doesn’t seem like she did, her HP bar is full.”
Is that so? Then does this mean she’s feigning it? Is she acting like this to make us behave like fools?
Let’s check it out.
“Oooi! Are you alright, little kid? Do you need an adult’s help?” She doesn’t react, to what I say. Maybe she’s holding back her anger, let’s try something else. “What are you doing, Berta? Practicing for when somebody wants to chop veggies on your chest?”
Ah, so she isn’t feigning it. I’m sure she would have exploded in anger by now.
Matta laughs from my side. “Hihihi. Do you think she’s unconscious? A problem with the game?”
“No. I didn’t think about it at the start, but can you see the flying blue particles? They look similar to those in the mushroom grove. I’m sure she’s afflicted by a status effect. It’s probably Sleep.”
After falling asleep because of the mushrooms so many times in such a short time, I’m now an expert at identifying it.
“Ah… it makes sense…” He nods before making an anxious face. “Then, how are we going to awaken her without stepping into the cave? We don’t have ranged attacks...”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”
Why is he saying we’ve got no ranged attacks? Did he forget about my Dragon’s Breath?
I push Matta to a side and open my mouth. A torrent of fire comes out, burning everything in its path; which, in this case, it’s only Berta.
“Aaah! You brute! Are you trying to kill me!?” Berta screams when the fire breaks the Sleep status effect. “Blockhead! You should treat ladies a lot better!” She flies in our direction, trying to get out of the room before she falls asleep another time.
“What lady? I don’t see any…” I look around in an exaggerated gesture “...there’s only a fat goblin and a winged bug.”
“Again!? Carles… did you think I couldn’t hear you while asleep? I heard everything you said… This young lady will have to punish you for your bad behavior.”
“N-no! Not my horns again…!”
“Ahahaha!”
“Ah, shit! It got away another time.” I exclaim when my katana slashes the air. There was a monster here a second ago, but it disappeared when I attacked.
“You suck at this, Carles, ahahaha!” Berta laughs at my useless effort while casting spells. “Watch this and learn from me!” Several purple projectiles pop out from her hand and chase after another one of the monsters, taking away a large HP chunk. “See? Easy! Ahahaha!”
“...Tsk!”
This is so annoying. Of course, you’re dealing damage… you’re using cheats! If I didn’t have to get close to them to attack and my attacks had an autotargeting system, it would be easy to kill them for me too! It’s so unfair… When we fight against other monsters, I’ll make sure she eats her own words.
A few meters away, Matta is fighting another one of the flesh monsters. Unlike me, he avoids the monster’s lounge and strikes back with his stick, but… the monster’s HP bar barely changes.
“Hihihi! This is so interesting!” He laughs. “What a challenge!”
I must admit he’s better than me: I haven’t landed a single strike yet. First, avoid. Then, counterattack. I’ll try to imitate him next time.
I watch my surroundings with my katana ready.
Where will the next monster come from? They keep appearing and disappearing without warning. Is it a teleport? Or something else? If it’s teleport, how can they teleport through walls? I thought it was impossible.
I notice a change on my right side and immediately turn around. There it is, a grotesque meat bag with four legs, sprinting in my direction.
“Here it comes! I’m ready this time.” I convince myself.
This time, I’ll first avoid and then counterattack. At least, I’ll try it. It’s hard to predict their movements when they can vanish and appear somewhere else in an instant.
The headless fleshy dog zigzags as it runs. It pounces at me. I’m ready to act, but it disappears.
Where did it go? Left, right…? No! It’s behind!
I dodge to the side and slash with my katana at the same time. This time, my sword passes through the monster’s flesh and the damage particle effects pop off. With this single strike, I reduced the monster’s HP by a fourth.
“Yes! I did it!” I pump my fist. “I knew I could do it! Then, let’s finish it!”
For the first time in the whole fight, it’s me who takes the initiative. I rush at the monster and manage to land a second hit. But before the third attack lands, it vanishes into thin air.
I look around. There are two of those monster’s corpses on the floor. I’m sure it’s Berta’s doing. Meanwhile, Matta continues to exchange blows with a third.
How many are there in total? Maybe four? Five? I have no idea…
“Watch out!”
Berta shouts at the same time something hits me on my back. I fall to the ground. I try to stand up but for some reason, I can’t. The monster uses this chance to continue attacking.
Stunned…? They can stun, too!? Luckily, it’s a short one.
I hear several impact sounds when Berta’s Magic Missiles hit the monster that’s attacking me. I stand up.
“...thanks, Berta,” I say.
“...Hmph!” She snorts. Then, her expression turns into a grin. “Are you a damsel in distress that needs saving? How pathetic! Ahahaha!”
Oh, so this is what you want, huh!? Two can play this game.
“Well… if I’m a damsel, then it means there’s at least one lady in this party…” I shrug while smiling. “...and here I was thinking this was an all-male party…”
“What are you implying!?”
“No, I’m not implying anything at all…” I spin my eyes around.
“Stop flirting and get ready. More monsters are coming!” Matta cuts us off and points to the end of the tunnel. “I hear steps coming from that direction. Get ready for battle.”
““We’re not flirting!”” We both say at the same time.
“Is that so? Hihihihi!” He starts laughing.
Right on time, from the end of the tunnel, a group of enemies appears. They’re running in our direction. Fast! They’re really fast! They’ll get here in mere seconds.
They look very weird. They’re monsters with half of their bodies a lot taller than the other half. It’s to the extent they have to walk at a 45º angle so that both their feet touch the ground at the same time. It’s so ridiculous…
And they have two heads. One with pointy ears and the other with an impressive beard. There’s no doubt why the two halves have such a height difference.
“I’ll take care of them, you deal with the fleshy monsters.” I proudly proclaim.
Heh, they look weak, and they’re numerous. This is the perfect opponent for me! I’ll burn them all to a crisp and then I’ll show off! Hahaha!
“Come at me, weaklings!”
As soon as they’re in range, I use my Dragon’s Breath. Fire bursts forth from my mouth and floods the narrow tunnel, burning every monster. I couldn’t use it against the flesh monsters because it’s a waste against a single enemy, and Matta and Berta were too close. But against a group of tightly packed enemies, Dragon’s Breath is the best skill in the whole game!
The fire disperses and the tunnel becomes visible again. Hey there, charred corpses of my victims…
…or not. The monsters continue their march as if they were unaffected by the fire at all. They’re now covered by a dark film. They look like demons out of a fairy tale.
Is this some kind of demonic skill that negates damage? No, I’m wrong. Their HP bars are gone! How are they alive if they have no HP left!? What’s going on?
Surprised, I stay there, watching them as they get closer. They quickly surround me and start swinging their limbs at me. But, now that they’re closer, I can see that their HP bars aren’t empty: there’s a teeny, tiny bit remaining.
1 HP? They didn’t die and survive with 1 HP? Then I just need to hit them one more time and they’ll die!
I excitedly swing my katana at a random monster. As expected, it dies as soon as the blade touches it.
“So easy! And to think I was about to despair…” But all my excitement fades away when the next monster survives my attack. “Again? Let’s try this.”
If normal attacks don’t work properly against them, I’ll use another skill instead. I slam my foot hard and a wave extends from me, affecting everything in my vicinity. This is the Shockwave skill, a perfect skill for when you’re surrounded.
| Shockwave (Activated skill) |
| Cost: 150 EP |
| Deal (10 + STR) physical damage to every unit in a 5-meter radius around yourself, and push them 3 meters away. |
“All right, this should be the end.” I raise my head and watch in terror as the monsters are still alive. They charge at me from all sides, and the assault resumes. “Why!? Why won’t you die!?”
I start using everything in my arsenal. Skills, normal attacks… nothing works properly! I don’t know how it works, but they’re not completely immortal as they die from time to time. But the real problem is that the more of them that are dead, the more damage I take!
“I’ll die at this rate…” My HP is almost at a third of its maximum value. “Why won’t they die? And why do they grow stronger!? Matta, Berta! I’ll need your help here! I’m going to die!”
There’s no other option. I’ll have to use my last resort here.
“I’m using Aegis!"
| Aegis (Activated skill) |
| Cost: 200 EP, 100 MP |
| You ignore all damage and status effects for the next 10 seconds. You can’t move, attack, or use skills during this time. You can’t use this skill more than three times per Dungeon Invasion or Dungeon Battle. |
“Heee... didn’t you say you’d deal with them? Ahahaha! See, this is why you’re a blockhead. You don’t know what you can and can’t do…”
“Not now, Berta! These monsters are abnormal!”
“What’s the monster I hate the most in The Mad Rat’s Lab? Umm… can I pick more than one?”
- Excerpt of an interview with a random DMA player.
We go back a short distance and turn left. A few mushrooms are growing here and there, though most of the tunnel is formed by naturally carved stone and sand. Since leaving the enormous cavern, we haven’t seen any sign of life except for the sporadic mushrooms, the deadly mushroom grove, and the cries echoing in the empty passages.
Now that we know how dangerous this area can be, we’re on edge about what’ll come next. These tunnels can’t be empty, can they? If the mushroom grove has any correlation with the rest of the stuff here… I don’t want to imagine what monsters roam this place.
The stone tunnel opens up into a medium-sized cavern. We passed by this place when searching for the place with the skull mark, but I didn’t pay attention.
“Here we are.” Says Matta while folding the map. “This should be the safe area.”
“Nooo! Stop! Release me!”
“Alright… In you go!” I throw the struggling Berta into the room.
“Kyaaaa!”
She flies for two meters until she stabilizes herself in the middle of the flight. She then glares at me and gives me the middle finger.
I ignore her actions and start inspecting the area from outside. “Do your job properly,” I tell her.
Like the tunnel we’re in, purplish light coming from nowhere illuminates the room. There are quite a lot of mushrooms inside, though not as many as in the mushroom grove.
There are also blue particles of an unknown origin suspended in the air, like motes of dust. They remind me of the poison clouds, but at the same time, they look quite different. What are they?
“There are no monsters or traps!” Shouts Berta while pointing her finger at me. “Ahahaha! You thought you were punishing me, but nothing is threatening my life! Ahahaha! You don’t even know how to–”
In the middle of talking bullshit, she suddenly falls to the ground. There was no warning.
“Did she die?” I ask Matta.
“Hmm… I don’t know… It doesn’t seem like she did, her HP bar is full.”
Is that so? Then does this mean she’s feigning it? Is she acting like this to make us behave like fools?
Let’s check it out.
“Oooi! Are you alright, little kid? Do you need an adult’s help?” She doesn’t react, to what I say. Maybe she’s holding back her anger, let’s try something else. “What are you doing, Berta? Practicing for when somebody wants to chop veggies on your chest?”
Ah, so she isn’t feigning it. I’m sure she would have exploded in anger by now.
Matta laughs from my side. “Hihihi. Do you think she’s unconscious? A problem with the game?”
“No. I didn’t think about it at the start, but can you see the flying blue particles? They look similar to those in the mushroom grove. I’m sure she’s afflicted by a status effect. It’s probably Sleep.”
After falling asleep because of the mushrooms so many times in such a short time, I’m now an expert at identifying it.
“Ah… it makes sense…” He nods before making an anxious face. “Then, how are we going to awaken her without stepping into the cave? We don’t have ranged attacks...”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”
Why is he saying we’ve got no ranged attacks? Did he forget about my Dragon’s Breath?
I push Matta to a side and open my mouth. A torrent of fire comes out, burning everything in its path; which, in this case, it’s only Berta.
“Aaah! You brute! Are you trying to kill me!?” Berta screams when the fire breaks the Sleep status effect. “Blockhead! You should treat ladies a lot better!” She flies in our direction, trying to get out of the room before she falls asleep another time.
“What lady? I don’t see any…” I look around in an exaggerated gesture “...there’s only a fat goblin and a winged bug.”
“Again!? Carles… did you think I couldn’t hear you while asleep? I heard everything you said… This young lady will have to punish you for your bad behavior.”
“N-no! Not my horns again…!”
“Ahahaha!”
“Ah, shit! It got away another time.” I exclaim when my katana slashes the air. There was a monster here a second ago, but it disappeared when I attacked.
“You suck at this, Carles, ahahaha!” Berta laughs at my useless effort while casting spells. “Watch this and learn from me!” Several purple projectiles pop out from her hand and chase after another one of the monsters, taking away a large HP chunk. “See? Easy! Ahahaha!”
“...Tsk!”
This is so annoying. Of course, you’re dealing damage… you’re using cheats! If I didn’t have to get close to them to attack and my attacks had an autotargeting system, it would be easy to kill them for me too! It’s so unfair… When we fight against other monsters, I’ll make sure she eats her own words.
A few meters away, Matta is fighting another one of the flesh monsters. Unlike me, he avoids the monster’s lounge and strikes back with his stick, but… the monster’s HP bar barely changes.
“Hihihi! This is so interesting!” He laughs. “What a challenge!”
I must admit he’s better than me: I haven’t landed a single strike yet. First, avoid. Then, counterattack. I’ll try to imitate him next time.
I watch my surroundings with my katana ready.
Where will the next monster come from? They keep appearing and disappearing without warning. Is it a teleport? Or something else? If it’s teleport, how can they teleport through walls? I thought it was impossible.
I notice a change on my right side and immediately turn around. There it is, a grotesque meat bag with four legs, sprinting in my direction.
“Here it comes! I’m ready this time.” I convince myself.
This time, I’ll first avoid and then counterattack. At least, I’ll try it. It’s hard to predict their movements when they can vanish and appear somewhere else in an instant.
The headless fleshy dog zigzags as it runs. It pounces at me. I’m ready to act, but it disappears.
Where did it go? Left, right…? No! It’s behind!
I dodge to the side and slash with my katana at the same time. This time, my sword passes through the monster’s flesh and the damage particle effects pop off. With this single strike, I reduced the monster’s HP by a fourth.
“Yes! I did it!” I pump my fist. “I knew I could do it! Then, let’s finish it!”
For the first time in the whole fight, it’s me who takes the initiative. I rush at the monster and manage to land a second hit. But before the third attack lands, it vanishes into thin air.
I look around. There are two of those monster’s corpses on the floor. I’m sure it’s Berta’s doing. Meanwhile, Matta continues to exchange blows with a third.
How many are there in total? Maybe four? Five? I have no idea…
“Watch out!”
Berta shouts at the same time something hits me on my back. I fall to the ground. I try to stand up but for some reason, I can’t. The monster uses this chance to continue attacking.
Stunned…? They can stun, too!? Luckily, it’s a short one.
I hear several impact sounds when Berta’s Magic Missiles hit the monster that’s attacking me. I stand up.
“...thanks, Berta,” I say.
“...Hmph!” She snorts. Then, her expression turns into a grin. “Are you a damsel in distress that needs saving? How pathetic! Ahahaha!”
Oh, so this is what you want, huh!? Two can play this game.
“Well… if I’m a damsel, then it means there’s at least one lady in this party…” I shrug while smiling. “...and here I was thinking this was an all-male party…”
“What are you implying!?”
“No, I’m not implying anything at all…” I spin my eyes around.
“Stop flirting and get ready. More monsters are coming!” Matta cuts us off and points to the end of the tunnel. “I hear steps coming from that direction. Get ready for battle.”
““We’re not flirting!”” We both say at the same time.
“Is that so? Hihihihi!” He starts laughing.
Right on time, from the end of the tunnel, a group of enemies appears. They’re running in our direction. Fast! They’re really fast! They’ll get here in mere seconds.
They look very weird. They’re monsters with half of their bodies a lot taller than the other half. It’s to the extent they have to walk at a 45º angle so that both their feet touch the ground at the same time. It’s so ridiculous…
And they have two heads. One with pointy ears and the other with an impressive beard. There’s no doubt why the two halves have such a height difference.
“I’ll take care of them, you deal with the fleshy monsters.” I proudly proclaim.
Heh, they look weak, and they’re numerous. This is the perfect opponent for me! I’ll burn them all to a crisp and then I’ll show off! Hahaha!
“Come at me, weaklings!”
As soon as they’re in range, I use my Dragon’s Breath. Fire bursts forth from my mouth and floods the narrow tunnel, burning every monster. I couldn’t use it against the flesh monsters because it’s a waste against a single enemy, and Matta and Berta were too close. But against a group of tightly packed enemies, Dragon’s Breath is the best skill in the whole game!
The fire disperses and the tunnel becomes visible again. Hey there, charred corpses of my victims…
…or not. The monsters continue their march as if they were unaffected by the fire at all. They’re now covered by a dark film. They look like demons out of a fairy tale.
Is this some kind of demonic skill that negates damage? No, I’m wrong. Their HP bars are gone! How are they alive if they have no HP left!? What’s going on?
Surprised, I stay there, watching them as they get closer. They quickly surround me and start swinging their limbs at me. But, now that they’re closer, I can see that their HP bars aren’t empty: there’s a teeny, tiny bit remaining.
1 HP? They didn’t die and survive with 1 HP? Then I just need to hit them one more time and they’ll die!
I excitedly swing my katana at a random monster. As expected, it dies as soon as the blade touches it.
“So easy! And to think I was about to despair…” But all my excitement fades away when the next monster survives my attack. “Again? Let’s try this.”
If normal attacks don’t work properly against them, I’ll use another skill instead. I slam my foot hard and a wave extends from me, affecting everything in my vicinity. This is the Shockwave skill, a perfect skill for when you’re surrounded.
| Shockwave (Activated skill) |
| Cost: 150 EP |
| Deal (10 + STR) physical damage to every unit in a 5-meter radius around yourself, and push them 3 meters away. |
“All right, this should be the end.” I raise my head and watch in terror as the monsters are still alive. They charge at me from all sides, and the assault resumes. “Why!? Why won’t you die!?”
I start using everything in my arsenal. Skills, normal attacks… nothing works properly! I don’t know how it works, but they’re not completely immortal as they die from time to time. But the real problem is that the more of them that are dead, the more damage I take!
“I’ll die at this rate…” My HP is almost at a third of its maximum value. “Why won’t they die? And why do they grow stronger!? Matta, Berta! I’ll need your help here! I’m going to die!”
There’s no other option. I’ll have to use my last resort here.
“I’m using Aegis!"
| Aegis (Activated skill) |
| Cost: 200 EP, 100 MP |
| You ignore all damage and status effects for the next 10 seconds. You can’t move, attack, or use skills during this time. You can’t use this skill more than three times per Dungeon Invasion or Dungeon Battle. |
“Heee... didn’t you say you’d deal with them? Ahahaha! See, this is why you’re a blockhead. You don’t know what you can and can’t do…”
“Not now, Berta! These monsters are abnormal!”
“What’s the monster I hate the most in The Mad Rat’s Lab? Umm… can I pick more than one?”
- Excerpt of an interview with a random DMA player.
